I have been called a slavedriver and mean

[Holly IN]

by a fellow homeschool mom. I am kind of getting frustrated with her and a few other moms.

 

They asked me specifically what I am doing with Biology and what my requirements are for my son. I told them that I give a vocab quiz, require that he does vocab flashcards which he has to turn them in to me, require him to do the learner journal (ala Teaching Company's "How to be a Superstar student"), require him to do a lab book which I grade (very very loosely here), require study guide questions and the module summary. That is it. I also teach some of the difficult sections of whatever module we are on.

 

She accused me of being way too hard on him. I told her that I did try the hands off approach and ds doesn't work that way. He works better when he has alot of pressure on him (from my dh and I). She said that at the struggling learner conference the speaker said that nobody remembers anything about Biology, Latin or grammar or whatever it is. She says to plod through and they will get it in college. I told her that I remember her saying that but my ds is not a struggling learner. He is plain lazy!! I have a child who is a struggling learner (my dd) and that is why I went to the confernece. I told her that what she said up there doesn't apply to every child. It only applies to those with learning disabilities.

 

My son is very very gifted but extremely lazy. He really needs to be pushed hard.

 

Anyway my feelings are being ruffled a bit when she was telling me all this. I really feel that she thinks I am taking my kids education too seriously than what I should. I told her that I am not homeschooling my kids to make it easy on them. I am homeschooling them to give them a much better education than they would get in the school system as well as a Biblical education.

 

Anybody been there heard that??

 

Holly (getting ready to write up another post)

[mrsdash]

Yep, I can relate to this! Not for all the same reasons but I have been told by another hs mom that I either expect too much or I am pushing them or rushing them as well as just giving too much. She is much more relaxed than I am about things but our children are very different. HS parents should know by now that all dc learn differently. Annoying.

[Myra]

I, too, have been told similar things by one set of parents in our co-op. But, then again, another set of parents mentioned that I'm not rigorous enough! So now I just nod and listen....then I do what I'm planning on doing all along! Now, I must admit that their words sometimes echo in my brain when I'm in my "What am I doing homeschooling high school? Am I out of my mind?" doldrums - and that frustrates me! But mostly, I just don't respond and move on.

 

Myra

[LisaKinVA]

Hey, I take exception to the "nobody remembers anything from..." I actually remember a lot from Grammar, Biology, now Chemistry (other than the periodic table, and a few basic combinations NaCl, being one), okay.

 

You aren't being mean -- but this kind of talk from friends or family (I get mine from family members who also homeschool), is VERY annoying. I suppose that's why I don't talk to friends or family about what we do in specifics.

[MaryM]

Yep! Told this by a public school teacher too. But ds chimes in saying he steps up to a challenge. We BOTH know he would just take the easiest route possible if he wasn't pushed to do the "stuff" he doesn't like. I think we have to do this when we recognize the potential in our kids otherwise we could just put them in brick and mortar school. I do wonder, though, if backing off at times would yield more....I see ds in college courses this year (young age) delivering his best work w/o my prodding. BUt, then again, I also think that teenagers can find great sport in circumventing "Mom"!

 

You are not alone!

 

Mary

[Titus.Two.Five]

Holly, you know your ds best, and what he needs. I know though, how having dissenters can wear on ya. I have a few HS mom friends who I just know feels we are too 'rigorous' and 'schoolish'. Neither have voiced it, but it's there.

 

Tell the lady with the flapping lips and unwelcome opinion that you and your Dh have prayefully put much thought into *your* sons education, but if she has a real problem, she is welcome to set up a meeting with your Dh to discuss it. ;)

[Karen in CO]

Most of the moms in my co-op won't talk to me about homeschooling anymore. They are much more relaxed. I simply told them that I expect more from kids, and I won't apologize for it. However, when I offer a class, there is always a waiting list because all of their kids love my classes. Slowly a couple of them have actually come over and quietly asked me for advice about specific topics too.

 

They are your kids and you should not feel bad because of someone else's low expectations.

[titianmom]

Hi,

 

I don't disagree that kids often have an aversion to this thing called, "work". On rare occasions you'll run across a child who just has to get things done and move on. Okay, I've met 1 child in my 46 years who was like that. Ha!

 

However, you might consider something that I learned from a parenting class once.

 

If you have to constantly stand over them to make sure they're doing their work, or if you push them to get things done and can't trust them to work on their own, you may be setting the child up for failure later on. Here's why:

 

Once they're away from home (college, etc) they won't have anyone to push them any more, and they will simply not do anything. This applies to moral behavior, as well. We all know of kids that were "good" growing up (I use it in the human sense as no one is actually good according to Scripture) and once they leave home, they go wild.

 

What happens is, there's simply no one watching their every move or standing over them any more and they can't function without a guide telling them what they should/shouldn't do.

 

How to fix this? Consequences.

 

Don't stand over them, whatever you do. You have a life, as well. Tell them simply that if they don't get their work done (a reasonable amount according to their capability), then here are the consequences, and walk away. Leave them to succeed or fail. Then back up what you say! Make the consequences reasonable to the crime.

 

This is how real life is. For ex, you don't have a cop riding around in the car with you all the time to make sure you don't speed. But you know what the consequences are if you do speed. A ticket.

 

You know that you have to get to work on time consistently or you'll get fired. You don't have a boss calling you every morning to wake you up and then drive over to drive you to work. You simply know that the consequences of not getting to work on time will cost you your job.

 

This teaches kids that there are real consequences in life and no one is going to stand over them forever to make sure they do what they're supposed to do.

 

Curing laziness takes a lot of time and follow-through. Don't expect success right away; keep at it.

 

I tell my daughter, "Here's the work (sched) that you have to complete this week. Your time is your own. You can do it all in 2 days and get 3 days off if you want to, but understand that if the work isn't done by COB Friday, here's what will happen to you..." and I walk away. Often she gets it done, sometimes she doesn't and she pays the price. (Usually she loses something fun she likes to do, like playing computer games or watching her kid shows or the weekend is mine, etc, and she works for me.)

 

Hope this helps,

Kim

[HollyinNNV]

by a fellow homeschool mom. I am kind of getting frustrated with her and a few other moms.

 

They asked me specifically what I am doing with Biology and what my requirements are for my son.

Holly (getting ready to write up another post)

 

Why did they ask you your requirements, unless it was to criticize you? I can see their response being typical if you volunteered that info-but they asked!

 

I do not tolerate others criticizing my plan. Usually, the only criticism I hear is from dh's colleagues-those who think they know everything. After my 15 minute comprehensive response, they usually don't volunteer anymore "suggestions."

 

I do not find myself in the company of relaxed hsers anymore-just don't travel in those circles.

 

Anyways-sounds like they feel inadequate/jealous..........?

Stand firm,

Holly

[dawn of ns]

In my experience this goes both ways (in more ways then one. I've been judgemental at times). If you're a formal schooler some relaxed people will assume you're a slavedriver. If you unschool some formal schoolers will assume you're negligent.

 

It all boils down to people finding what works for them and then making the error of assuming that's what will work for everyone else. I know when I found unschooling it was the forever-and-ever best possible choice for all kids. If others didn't do it then there was something wrong with them. Thankfully I grew up a bit.

[Tammyla]

I would have smiled and said something like thank you, or I know. :grouphug: That's the beauty of homeschooling, you can be different and do what works for your children/students. I've also made it a self policy not to complain if I don't want criticism or advice. I'm very choosy with my sounding boards or those I solicit for help. kwim?

[Beth in SW WA]

Leave them to succeed or fail. Then back up what you say! Make the consequences reasonable to the crime.

 

 

 

:iagree: completely.

 

Ds was playing Runescape during school hours on Monday and didn't meet his benchmarks for the day.

 

He's on guitar restriction until after Thanksgiving (torture for him not to play at youth group worship). I made him read ALL of Do Hard Things on Tuesday and he's writing a summary of it. AND I added more schoolwork to his list (since he obviously thinks he has extra time in his day to goof-off).

 

Don't mess w/ this mama bear (especially when she has PMS!!):)

[Beth in SW WA]

 

Anybody been there heard that??

 

 

Holly,

Yes, I feel your pain. I don't do co-ops or week-day field trips. I don't do feel-good, student-led school. We are college-prep, rigorous & classically-focused. I don't have any IRL friends who feel this way.

 

I have great homeschool mom friends, don't get me wrong. We just don't share the same focus. To each his own.

 

Its lonely sometimes, but my dh is 100% supportive. He is my sounding board and "enforcer" when the kids get off track.

 

My little girls attend a classical school and the teachers and parents there totally "get" me and my vision for our dc. I'm thankful I can talk w/ them about curriculum, methods, etc.

 

Holly, just ignore the nay-sayers. Come here to the Hive for support. Thanks for sharing your frustrations. It helps to know we are not alone.:)

[Jane in NC]

Holly,

Yes, I feel your pain. I don't do co-ops or week-day field trips. I don't do feel-good, student-led school. We are college-prep, rigorous & classically-focused. I don't have any IRL friends who feel this way.

 

 

 

Oh Beth, you are just so Draconian!

 

(giggling)

Jane

[Titus.Two.Five]

Speaking of Draconian, how does one get an invite to the Draconian social group? :D

[Lizzie in Ma]

When I read your title my first thought was that one of your kids said that and I was going to reply that you must be doing something right.

 

Some people just want their kids to "get through" school but some want our kids to excel, especially when we know they can. A classical education isn't for everyone but you are give your son a rare gift, don't stop know because of one short sighted woman. Be encouraged that you are not the only one on this path. I am sure she would have called me all of those names as well.:D

 

That's funny, I thought the same thing at first!

:iagree::iagree:

[Josie]

I have even been called crazy for educating our children with a classical bent. Oh well, to each his own, KWIM.

[Bev in B'ville]

Speaking of Draconian, how does one get an invite to the Draconian social group? :D

 

 

:001_smile:

[Holly IN]

Hey I would love to join the Draconian group too...

 

:D:D:D

 

Holly

[anissarobert]

Holly,

 

I must be as mean as you, because I require all of the same things you do. (She is doing the vocab. in a notebook, because she has cards for Latin and French, and she said she had too many flashcards in her life.) I had a friend comment that the Module Summaries were overkill, but my dd struggled with Module 2 and since then, they are a requirement.

 

The other day a homeschool mom told me I was crazy for making my dd read the entire Iliad and Odyssey.

 

I want my dc to have a rigorous classical education. That is one of the reasons I homeschool, and can be hard to find friends IRL with that goal. That's why I have come to value the hive mind so much!

[Titus.Two.Five]

:001_smile:

 

I'm in! Thanks, Bev! :hurray:

[Beth in SW WA]

Oh Beth, you are just so Draconian!

 

(giggling)

Jane

 

[Gwen in VA]

This thread represents a lot of the reason I hang out on these boards -- you fellow WTM moms share my passion and enthusiasm for high academic expectations.

 

And because you share the desire to give our kids a strong education, you can understand my frustrations in ways that many other hs moms don't. The WTM response to "My kid isn't getting all his work done" isn't "Maybe you're asking too much" but rather, "Here is a different approach...."

 

I do so appreciate the wonderful Draconian moms on this board! Thank you all!

[Titus.Two.Five]

I too am a slave driver. It is 5:30 pm here and I have 1 still practicing piano, 1 doing math, one that *just* finished his reading lessons w/mom, and another finishing her TWO English lessons. <GASP>

[Beth in SW WA]

I too am a slave driver. It is 5:30 pm here and I have 1 still practicing piano, 1 doing math, one that *just* finished his reading lessons w/mom, and another finishing her TWO English lessons. <GASP>

 

Dawne,

They'll thank you for it later! :)

[titianmom]

FWIW, I posted earlier, and in regard to homeschooling styles, I have to confess that I'm pretty structured and driven by nature. I do a mix of classical and just plain practical teaching and I expect quite a bit from my very bright 11 yo. (She has become a very accomplished typist this year, for ex. I want her typing with high proficiency by the time she's ready for college...not a part of a classical curriculum, but very practical IMHO.)

 

I do believe that there are a lot of kids out there that aren't expected to accomplish very much, and they live up to the low expectations. It's so sad that even their own parents don't believe in them, sometimes. Sigh.

 

I remember having my tweens put on a skit at church and the members of the church were shocked and amazed that they were able to memorize the entire skit and put it on without cheat sheets. It had never been done before in that church; even the adults rely on their music books after months of learning a cantata, for ex.

 

That said, I'm familiar with some unschooling folks that have been extremely successful with educating their kids without one day of "formal" school. The kids are doing fantastic in college and are very creative.

 

I don't have the details, however, on what their typical days were like. I understand, though, that the kids pick an ed topic that interests them and they run with it. The parents take them all over the country doing different things with them. (I'd love to know where the money comes from or if they're independently rich or something, ha!) I do admire their freedom and I can see how it does foster creativity. One of their boys studied boats, canoes, and eventually ended up becoming a world-class canoer and traveled to several countries. All before college age.

 

You can't beat that. Sigh.

 

So, in summary, I believe that kids are typically wired very similarly to how their parents are wired. Not always, but often. I think you have to study your child to make sure you're using the best method to education them and work toward their potential. Whether you unschool or do the structured classical like we folks do, it is still WORK to educate your kids and there are sacrifices involved to do it well.

 

Rgds,

Kim

[Titus.Two.Five]

Dawne,

They'll thank you for it later! :)

 

Yeah, like maybe when they get Wii time for finishing? :lol:

[bettyandbob]

mean is shutting the door on your dc's future because you didn't have them work up to their ability.

 

mean is not teaching your dc to have a strong work ethic toward everything, including academics.

 

mean is not teaching study skills your dc will need in post secondary education.

 

mean is not developing your dc's God-given talents.

 

I'm not mean and I will not be responsible for my dc not having opportunities because I didn't want to push them too hard.

[Titus.Two.Five]

mean is shutting the door on your dc's future because you didn't have them work up to their ability.

 

mean is not teaching your dc to have a strong work ethic toward everything, including academics.

 

mean is not teaching study skills your dc will need in post secondary education.

 

mean is not developing your dc's God-given talents.

 

I'm not mean and I will not be responsible for my dc not having opportunities because I didn't want to push them too hard.

 

:thumbup1:

[Moni]

I really feel that she thinks I am taking my kids education too seriously than what I should

 

Probably because she does ;)

(...does think that...)

 

That's okay.

 

She's entitled to her opinion and she's also entitled to be incorrect.

 

Tell her, "If you were right I would agree with you..."

Okay, no, don't tell her that. :lol:

But do allow her to be wrong.

And then get on with your business at hand.

 

Lots of people are wrong and/or have differing opinions.

I have to focus on my kids and family. I can't be also raising the grownups I encounter. They're on their own.

Mentally give them permission to be incorrect.

Mentally give them permission to have a different opinion.;)

 

She is stating her opinion, which is fine. She can have her opinion. You have your own opinion. Fair is fair there.

She is quoting what a speaker said at a conference. That's fine. She's quoting someone. Someone probably did say that. Fair.

 

She's probably not actually entirely lying and probably not incorrect in quoting the speaker.

 

That's okay.

We do the same thing. We have opinions and quote folks.

 

If she is being rude or insensitive, chalk it up to her Bad Manners and . . . .again, our kids keep us busy enough. We don't have to raise the other adults also.

:lol:

 

:seeya:

[Karen in CO]

We don't have to raise the other adults also.

 

 

 

 

I like that.

[gardenschooler]

I wouldn't worry about it, or be so eager to share. I really don't share much at all about what our school day entails anymore, because it can so easily lead to conversations like the one you had.

 

Just join the Draconians. You won't hear that kind of talk there! :D

[gardenschooler]

I just wanted to add one thing about homeschooling for high school. I used to always feel like I had to justify my future plans to people, and I'd run down my laundry list of how I was going to do it. (They didn't ask, but boy, I had just had to tell them how wonderful and well-rounded it was all going to be, in case they were worried).

 

Now that we're actually doing it, I don't feel the need to say a word. At all, ever. I guess I finally justified myself in my own mind. I know what we're doing is working, so there's nothing to explain.

[Gwen in VA]

The funny thing is that my relatives are STILL concerned that we aren't giving our kids the "best" education. (They are strongly against homeschooling.)

 

The folks in our church are STILL concerned that we are asking too much of our kids.

 

And we just continue to do what we do. Raising our kids isn't a popularity contest -- it's doing the right thing for OUR kids and OUR situation.

[G5052]

There are three elite prep schools in my area (i.e. national reputation, $12,000+/year tuition) and two decent private schools. So when we moved out here, I soon encountered a lot of snobberly directed toward my preschoolers because "if you don't get them into the right preschool now, they'll never be admitted to X." We planned to homeschool from the beginning, so I just ignored it.

 

When we started homeschooling, I figured that this sort of snobbery would be absent somehow, but it wasn't. It was OPPOSITE. Some of the folks in my circles actually bragged about their lack of academics and pestered anyone who was headed differently. We're in our eighth year, and it hasn't let up a bit frankly although I'm less subject to it because we don't belong to a support group anymore and our co-op is largely like-minded folks. It still happens in the grocery store -- "Are you STILL teaching those children Latin? That's a dead, useless language!" We also have one homeschooling relative who periodically snipes at me because we're being "too hard" on our children compared to theirs. They're visiting briefly at Thanksgiving, and I told DH that I was going to put the school books in the basement to cut off some of the discussion.

 

Join the mean mamma club!

Edited November 16, 2008 by GVA

[Beth in SW WA]

Chiming in again...

 

Last night I met a hs mom at a church event who said that she tried classical for a while but got tired of it. She then informed me that I will tire of it also and move on, like everyone else does.

 

I politely passed the bean dip (kept my mouth shut -- and realized again how much I appreciate all of YOU!) :)

 

Happy Saturday!

[lllll]

Anybody been there heard that??

 

I had a similar kind of conversation with another mother in our local hs group once, only she wasn't rude (which this woman seems to be).

 

She asked me what curr. we were using. I tried to explain WTM and she didn't understand, so I let her borrow my WTM book. When she returned it, she said something about it being an awful lot of school, etc. My response to her was that when I looked out on the horizon of our particular family's life at this point, the Lord hadn't provided relatives or local apprenticeships or tons of money or tons of friends or any of those kinds of things in our lives; but what He had provided was all the ingredients for a quiet life of intense education ... at this particular stage of our lives.

 

On the other hand, her life was full of things like close relatives whom she loved (her mother lived with them and many others within walking/driving distance) and a church she loved and tons of close friends and all kinds of things like these that took up much of their family's time. I told her that I used to pray that the Lord would move us near some of our relatives, but that His response was always to move us to the opposite side of the country (for excellent reasons, btw) ! So we've had to work with what He's given us; whereas the Lord has obviously provided her family with a very different life. I told her that I would have loved to have had the wonderful relationships she enjoyed with relatives and lots of friends and so on, but that's not what we got. And we all have to work with what we're given.

 

She listened and agreed and that was the end of our discussion about curr. We never discussed it before or after that.

 

FWIW.

Edited November 15, 2008 by ksva

[Michelle in MO]

from your children and being "mean". Believe me, you are doing your children a great service by expecting the best from them.

 

The disciplines that you're requiring from your student with Biology, for example, are very important and will serve him/her well in the future.

 

For example, these are some of the "mean" things I did over the years:

 

I always required my kids to show units in everything: math, science, etc. I required my oldest to show all proper "bookkeeping" when it came to cancelling out units in chemistry.

 

I didn't often give them extra days to study for tests and write papers. Real people have deadlines, and homeschoolers should too.

 

If they didn't study for a test and got a poor grade, 90% of the time I let the grade stand.

 

If they ever cheated (yes, they did do this) it was either an automatic "F", or, in the case of one of my girls, she had to re-do four chapters of work, which required her to do double lessons for literally months. She never cheated again.

 

I hired a writing tutor, which taught them some discipline in submitting material to someone else besides mom.

 

I always made them write down sources for research. If they didn't come up with the thought themselves, it had to be sourced (unless it was common knowledge, of course).

 

We did labs in science when other moms just read about the labs, thinking that was sufficient.

 

We did work on Saturdays, because M-F just wasn't enough. Science labs and tests ended up being done on Saturdays. This taught them that not everything was completed during school hours.

 

I get up every morning at about 4:30-5:00 a.m. The kids are up no later than 5:30. My oldest started math generally by 6:00 a.m., and the other two slightly later. We worked until 3:00 or so, then they had piano and voice practice.

 

Now all three of mine are in private school, and although they definitely had an adjustment period with getting used to after-school homework (plus, they have a 30-minute commute in the car to and from school every day), they have not had nearly the trouble adjusting to hard work that I've seen happen with other homeschoolers. The older two are at the top of the class, and my youngest, although she's a little slower, is still working hard and is a good student.

 

I know of one family that considers their youngest daughter to be "gifted"; but as far as public school kids goes, she would not be in any advanced classes. The family thinks of her as a 10th grader, although she's the exact same age as my middle daughter; however, my middle daughter has been doing work that would be much more advanced than this other girl has ever tackled.

 

If you ever have to enroll your kids in a regular school, or if they plan on going to college, you're not doing them a disservice by requiring them to do their very best. It's not the same as perfectionism, but you are teaching them discipline and working hard towards a goal.

 

Keep doing what you're doing---you won't regret it!

[Lisa R.]

they'll be sitting next to kids just like the son or daughter of this lady who spoke to you in a judgmental fashion. Fortunately, my dd saw this early on in high school when attending a fairly rigorous h.s. co-op.

[Murphy101]

Some people just want their kids to "get through" school but some want our kids to excel, especially when we know they can.

 

What a WASTE! I know many like that too. *I* was like that in school. (I hated school back in the day despite actually loving to read and learn. Go figure.)

 

What a complete and utter waste. To "plow" through for nothing and have nothing to show for it. What's the point? To just waste their youth, their time, their brains? To pay extra for remedial classes in college because they didn't learn it in highschool? Talk about double ouch. Less financial aid AND paying for stuff they should have learned in highschool. That's all I remember thinking in highschool, "This is such a waste of my life." I have zero intention of wasting my children's education time or my efforts. If I can give them better, they can learn better, then by golly better is what we'll do.

 

Why did they ask you your requirements, unless it was to criticize you? I can see their response being typical if you volunteered that info-but they asked!

 

Yeah.. I thought that was rather odd too.:001_huh:

 

mean is shutting the door on your dc's future because you didn't have them work up to their ability.

 

mean is not teaching your dc to have a strong work ethic toward everything, including academics.

 

mean is not teaching study skills your dc will need in post secondary education.

 

mean is not developing your dc's God-given talents.

 

I'm not mean and I will not be responsible for my dc not having opportunities because I didn't want to push them too hard.

 

:iagree:You tell it!

 

That said, I don't think a mother/teacher who pushes and demands a lot out of their student is neccessarily "standing over them" and holding their hand either. I didn't get that from the OP. I just thought she meant that if she demanded less, he'd happily do less. Geez. Who doesn't have a kid like that? In at least some subject they would rather just coast by if they can't avoid it altogether?

 

I don't even think this is a classical issue. I've met some unschoolers that demand WAY more than us for example, even if it is in a different manner.

 

I'll be so glad to join the ranks of Draconian homeschoolers next year with my first 9th grader.:)

[laurad1125]

My favorite criticism was when another homeschooling mom informed me that what we were doing was "developmentally inappropriate" when was she really meant was that what we were doing was different than what she was doing and therefore wrong.

 

We all work too hard doing the very best we can for our kids and I just don't think there is any reason to pull each other down. Everyone's family is different and every child has different needs, strengths and weaknesses. One thing I've really enjoyed about this board is a general feeling I've gotten that just because it works for me doesn't mean it's right for you, and that's OK.

[Laura K (NC)]

She has 7 kids. When she graduated her oldest she was fairly inexperienced. She put her kids in Classical Conversations and, believing it to be rigorous, thought her son was well-prepared for college. Her son was totally floundering the first year in math and science. He called home midway through the semester, begging her not to let this happen to any of his brothers or sisters.

 

She is the most rigorous homeschooler I know of in real life. She's an inspiration, really. And she professes that she will NEVER let laxity get in the way of her children's future opportunities. She laughs and says she tends to go in the other direction. But if you ever met her or her kids, "mean" is not the word that would come to mind. She coaches one of our homeschool association's sports teams. This team just won 1st place in a competition against 9 other Christian schools. The discipline that is praised in varsity sports is often under-appreciated in the academic sphere. Her children love her, and the athletes that train with her love her too. She's tough, and she enables them to go farther than they would have gone on their own initiative.

[Guest figsonwheels]

I've had similar questions asked of me. I am quite relaxed in homeschooling in elementary years, but tighten up in high school. I expect excellence, period.

 

You just have to let it roll off your back. You have decided what works best for your children.

[sagira]

My son is very very gifted but extremely lazy. He really needs to be pushed hard.

 

Holly, if it makes you feel any better, I was just like this growing up, except just one very instead of two for the gifted part :tongue_smilie: and I really appreciate that my mother pushed me to do better and stayed on top of me to complete my work. I'm a better student and worker because of her diligence, persistence, and determination to see me succeed. I think you're doing a great job!

 

It's not always easy (and even I know this already), but remember this: You are the only expert on your child on this earth.

[Storm Bay]

:grouphug: Holly,

 

You have to choose what's best for your dc. I was a gifted, lazy student who was expected to get my work done without my parents standing over me or making a schedule for me. So I coasted through high school because if I attended class and listened, I was able to get by with a high B average (think what studying and doing all of my homework would have done!) and ended up learning how to schedule, study, etc the hard way once I was in university. Some kids NEED help with this, and there's a balance we need to strive for that will vary with each child. My parents' system worked well with my sister who didn't loathe school and think it a totaly waste of time the way I did (I'm talking about ps here, IMO.) fwiw, when my younger brothers made it to high school, they took more oversight than they had with me. Plus, they had to make them read, whereas my sister and I were bookworms.

[ma23peas]

I'm only posting here out of similar observations I've made with other families...I know of a few that are over controlling with their kids..I can't tell by your post if you're one of those or not...but when I see a kid that looks STRESSED out and is UNDER like THUNDER 90% of the time I see them...and they have almost no joy in their life, then yes, I think the parents are being too hard on them.

 

We can't all have the Pollyanna or Mary Poppins approach...but what I do take from those examples is creativity. I think one of the greatest responsibilities ANY teacher has is to make the subject appealing or attractive to the student...you have to put joy into their learning...have him go to a local community college and interview a Biology professor, have him ask pointed questions about why they chose Biology, do anything to help him take ownership of it...I don't really think it is laziness but a lack of desire to do the work...I don't want to do housework but when I turn on the music and dance while I do it..I like it..not all days can be turn on the music days but not all days need to do "just have to do it" days either...

 

Find a balance and make sure you're doing everything you can to help your child see the joy and purpose in these studies.

 

Tara

[choirfarm]

They asked me specifically what I am doing with Biology and what my requirements are for my son. I told them that I give a vocab quiz, require that he does vocab flashcards which he has to turn them in to me, require him to do the learner journal (ala Teaching Company's "How to be a Superstar student"), require him to do a lab book which I grade (very very loosely here), require study guide questions and the module summary. That is it. I also teach some of the difficult sections of whatever module we are on.

 

Anybody been there heard that??

 

Holly (getting ready to write up another post)

 

MMM.. interesting. You didn't mention tests. I'm doing all of this with my 8th grader (no vocab cards or quiz, though..he writes them in his notebook. We also watched the Superstar student..he really enjoyed it.) Now I don't have to push him. He LOVES science and happily works on it. He takes the tests and quarterly tests at all. Since this will count as high school credit, I don't think it is too much. As far as labs, he does those at co-op and I looked at his lab notebook and it was a mess!!! I am so horrible at science labs and wouldn't know what they SHOULD say. So I e-mailed the teacher. My son came home and said, "I've got to work on the lab notebook. Apparantly some people weren't doing it or weren't doing it well and now she is going to grade it!!" I didn't tell him that was his mean mother's fault. I know my son would be in honors if he were in school and sounds like yours would be as well, and so they would expect AT LEAST what we would. The only thing I worry about is.. I remember when I took Biology in high school we had those awful lab tests... no that wasn't the name. You know, the actual frog would be open with the pins stuck in it and then you had to write what it was on your test (I was awful at that. The actual frog looks nothing like the diagram!!)

 

Christine

[FloridaLisa]

Wow ladies. . . I feel for you. I've perused this thread for the last few days, but I've truly never had anyone chide me for doing too much (or the converse). Maybe I hang out with a bunch of nice ladies. :001_smile: BUT, I don't talk a lot about what my dc are doing unless someone specifically asks.

 

The only questions I usually get are from folks so immersed in the ps system that they cannot fathom any other path.

 

This discussion reminds me once again of how much I've learned about homeschooling through high school from this board. I've picked up some local information from some veterans, but you all have exposed me to the WORLD of homeschooling through high school and all that is available to our kids. It's made a huge difference in what we are doing and, for that, I thank you (yet again).

 

Holly, if your gut tells you that your standards and choices are fine, and you and your dh agree on it, then continue to set the standard for your dc. Your ds is at a rough age; many here have dc that have made it through and come out well in the end. We've been there also, but each year brings HUGE steps of initiative, responsibility and vision on the part of my oldest.

 

Hang in there. Be a cheerleader when you can. Be the policeman when you must. :001_smile:

 

Lisa

[MBH]

Holly,

 

Be encouraged in the Lord! You know your son better than anyone else. I don't hang around unschoolers or relaxed homeschoolers anymore. My goal is to prepare godly men and women for a challenging world ahead through christian education.

 

Be steadfast, most likely your son will thank you someday and appreciate all that you are doing for him.

[Beth in SW WA]

MMM.. interesting. You didn't mention tests. I'm doing all of this with my 8th grader (no vocab cards or quiz, though..he writes them in his notebook.

 

Since this will count as high school credit, I don't think it is too much.

 

Christine

 

Christine,

 

My ds 8th is also doing Bio this year, but I was not planning on putting it on his transcripts. What will your Science sequence look like, in terms of your transcript?

 

What are you using for Bio?

 

Ds is doing PH Bio Exploring Life. He reads, makes vocab cards, does the guided workbook, takes 2 tests per chapter & he watches Thinkwell lectures weekly. We are doing at least 15 Bio labs this year. We have done 3 light labs thus far while we've been waiting for the kits, specimens and microscope to arrive.

 

Thanks for any scoop you might have on the transcript issue.