Pet euthanasia and the aftermath

[Melissa in New York]

Our beloved Labrador will be put to sleep in the very near future. We will be having a vet who travels to homes and helps those last moments go smoothly not only for the pet but for the humans too.

 

One of my sons wants to know what we plan to do after the vet removes the dog from the home. The thought of the upcoming emptiness and awkwardness is hitting us hard.

 

If you had your pet euthanized, especially in your home, what did you do immediately afterwards, besides cry?

 

~melissa

Edited September 4, 2017 by Melissa in New York

[Anne]

We have taken all of our pets to the vet and had them euthanized there - it was as good as such a thing can be. They have a special room for it and we were allowed to take as much time as we wanted/needed. We then had our pets cremated and the ashes were sprinkled on our property.

 

Anne

[MotherGoose]

We buried them on our property. We had them euthanized at the vets, unfortunately. We had a funeral service for them with our kids. It was definitely one of the most awful days of my life. Perhaps the closure of bringing home the body and burying it was helpful? Of course now we are going to move so there is the issue of the grave. My children were not particularly attached to the dogs. They were mine and dh "children." So that probably helped the kids. Except for seeing US so incredibly upset.

[alisoncooks]

We put down our 14 year old chihuahua last October. Even with the vet coming to our home for it, it was hard. (We chose to do it at home because he was so scared of the vet's office.)

 

We didn't have any plans for after. We cried a lot. Youngest DD wanted lots of snuggles. Oldest wanted to be alone. I just let everyone handle it the way they wanted.

 

A couple of things we did do in memory:

Planted a dogwood in our backyard (he was cremated and is still hanging out in a cabinet but the tree is in his honor)

I made a photo book (via Shutterfly) with tons of pictures from his whole life, one for each child to keep

I bought each daughter a silver necklace with a tiny silver chihuahua on it.

 

Our vet also did a keepsake clay paw print before taking his body away.

[Corraleno]

My sweet little maltese had to be put down last April, and although I had looked into at-home services, she went downhill much faster than expected and we ended up having to take her to a 24-hr vet hospital at 1:00 AM. I was allowed to spend as much time as I needed holding and petting her in a private room, until I was ready for the vet to give her the shot. I was grateful that she passed away peacefully in my arms, but to be honest once she was gone I had a really really difficult time holding her limp, lifeless body. Maybe it was because she died with her eyes open, instead of just seeming to be "asleep," but once it was over I needed to put her down and leave right away. I could not have handled bringing her home and burying her (not even ashes). I couldn't even handle seeing her collar at that point (DD keeps it in her bedroom drawer).

 

The vet tech made beautiful clay paw prints for us and those (plus a ton of photos) are my tangible mementos. I did not want an urn of ashes or a backyard grave as a constant reminder that she was dead. That's probably just my own weird quirk, though; many people seem to find those comforting rather than distressing.

 

I still miss her every single day.  :crying:

[ScoutTN]

My beloved yellow lab, the one in my avatar pic, is buried in our back yard. My kids were little and not there. Friends kept them for the day. Just easier for me. She was my dog before I met dh or had kids. The kids helped me plant a bed of flowers on the grave a week or two later. Still makes me cry to type this, three and a half years later.

[nixpix5]

My DH and oldest boys buried our dog while I was with the other three. We cried, we told some funny stories about him to break up the tears and we hugged. We watched a movie together to just give some space and then the next day we gathered photos and momentos to make a memory book. It has been over a year and it is still tough. My DD will randomly cry when she sees his picture. It just takes time and we tried to honor the love we had for our furry family member. I am so sorry you are facing this. :(

[wintermom]

For us, getting another dog has been really been helpful. We all, kids and adults, needed another furry body to pour our love and attention on.  This is the case with my parents as well, but as they're in their 80s, they have been getting their doggy fix by pet sitting for friends. It's like having grandchildren over for a visit. 

 

Shelters may be looking for families to foster pets, if you'd like to have a furry creature on a temporary basis. We currently foster a Standard Poodle from a dog service association. He is an intact male and part of their breeding program. Every once in a while, we take him in so he can provide his services. Otherwise, he's part of our family. We've had him for 2 years now. 

[Pippen]

When my kids were younger, we painted a rock to place over the burial site of our rabbit. 

 

Recently when I lost my beloved cat, I just had to have a picture framed to sit out. I washed out his dish and added his baby mouse toy and it sits by his picture. I couldn't handle the emptiness very long and a month later I made a tentative visit to the shelter just to see if I was ready, and of course I was. Having another cat helped a lot. 

[MercyA]

I took my dog to the vet to be euthanized. When I came home, I think I went to bed for a while and cried. Everyone will need to deal with it in their own way. Maybe just be there for anyone who needs to snuggle and allow anyone who needs to be alone to be alone. Perhaps suggest a walk or a meal out later in the day.

 

It is a comfort to me to have my dog's ashes, but everyone is different.

 

I am so very sorry.  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[chocolate-chip chooky]

This thread is making my heart hurt.

 

We had a much-loved cat euthanised a couple of months ago, after a long and brave battle with kidney failure.

 

We go with pet cremation and we all take comfort in that. The process of choosing an urn, choosing the best photo for the plaque etc works well for us.

 

Another tradition we have for remembering our lost pets is that we get a memory bear made. This is a teddy bear with a t-shirt on. The t-shirt is printed with a photo of our pet.

I also have a photo keyring made and also a photo mug.

 

 

So, for us it helps to have these rituals. It gives something to do in the immediate aftermath and we take comfort in having photos everywhere and the happy memories.

 

But I can totally understand that this isn't necessarily for everyone.

 

Oh and another thing that helps is the vet him/herself. The vet who euthanised our sweet cat was so gentle and respectful, and I'll never forget him kissing her head, telling her she'd fought hard, and wishing her a peaceful sleep.

 

I'm so, so sorry that you're needing to go through this and I wish you the most peaceful journey possible.

[Liz CA]

It's awful to see the water and food dish next to an empty bed yet I got irrationally upset when dh moved the bed because it was too soon for me. Makes no sense, I know. I don't think there is much you can do that will make it easier.

Our vet offered an imprint of the paw on a ceramic plate. Sometimes I rub the paw a little.

Edited September 4, 2017 by Liz CA

[lexi]

I'm so sorry!! We took a family vacation because I wanted out of the house. It helped to be away. And I put away all the leashes and good bowls and everything before we left.

This was 8 years ago and I still tear up. So very sad! It is really hard. It helped us to be distracted and to not be at home.

[Lanny]

We have a vet come to the house and put them to sleep, if they don't pass away from natural causes and we need to end their suffering. We bury them in the backyard.   Usually a short memorial service thanking God for their protection and companionship.  

 

My suggestion is that after one loses a beloved pet,  that they wait 2 or 3 months, for some of the grief to leave, and then consider giving another animal a wonderful home.  Not to "replace" the pet who was lost, but to give that new dog a special place in their home and in their hearts.

 

 

[DawnM]

First one, we took to the Vet's office and left him.  We just couldn't deal with it.

 

Second died in our house on her own, although we knew she wasn't doing well.  DH and two of the boys dug a grave on our property and buried her.  None of us dealt with it well and no funeral as we could barely even talk about it.  My middle son wouldn't even come downstairs until it was all over.  He didn't even want me to put a gravestone up for a long time.  My oldest was 18 and he still cried all day.

 

:grouphug:

[Lizzie in Ma]

We have buried each of our pets together in our yard.  :grouphug: :grouphug:

[alisoncooks]

Also wanted to add:

I had never lost a pet before (and we'd had him his entire life, 14 years), and I was surprised at how long it took to start to feel "normal" again. I cried myself to sleep for a solid month - big, heaving sobs. We still have moments where we tear up, and it's almost been a year, especially my 9 year old. (At least once a week, she'll whisper to me with tears in her eyes that she misses Brain.)

 

So, while everyone handles grief differently, I just wanted to throw this out there.

[Annie Elle]

In our area, we don't have a home service for euthanasia but we did have a special plan for our beloved lab (who is in my avatar). She loved to go for rides in the back of our SUV and also loved, loved, loved food. We loaded everyone into the car and went through the McDonald's drive through. Chewla, our dog, totally enjoyed her hamburger and fries. My dh had arranged for the vet to come out to our car. Our sweet dog passed in my lap, surrounded by those who loved her best. It was difficult but death is never easy. My dh handled arrangements with her body. When we got home, my children and I made a slideshow of her life and that helped a lot. We still have that slideshow and still watch it.

[Melissa in New York]

I'm sending a big Thank You to all who have responded. Usually, I try to reply to each post but I'm tearing up too much to do so today. But I am grateful for the replies and thoughts. We've had pets in the past but all did so quietly of natural causes. Our dog has mammary gland cancer and it's taking a huge toll on her body. The cancer has spread rapidly and as our vet told us, it is not pretty nor easy.

 

Prayers for her to make it to Saturday with minimal troubles so all my boys can be home.

 

Thanks again for the hugs and words. Means more to me than you know.

[Alte Veste Academy]

We lost two beloved cats over the past year. The first was a young guy, and it was an unexpected, tragic loss which left us all completely devastated. We spent the day crying, cuddling, and mindlessly watching tv. Then we all slept together that night because no one could bear to go to bed alone. The next day we went out to window shop just to get out of the house. I printed up a picture of him and they slept with it for a while. Youngest DS collected all of kitty's things and made a sort of shrine in one of his cubbies.

 

The second loss was somewhat easier for the kids to take because it was expected. This time it was our 17 year old cat who DH and I have had since she was a 6 week old kitten. She died in her sleep at home, the best case scenario, really. We buried her on our property and had a little ceremony. The kids decorated her grave with flowers. We were sad but shared lots of stories and reminded ourselves of the amazing, happy, long life she had. If they had been more upset, I wouldn't hesitate to handle it the same way we handled the first loss. The togetherness in our grief saved us all then.

 

I am so sorry for your loss. It hurts so much. One of the hardest losses I've ever endured was the unexpected passing of my yellow lab from a fast moving bone cancer. :grouphug:

Edited September 4, 2017 by Alte Veste Academy

[Alte Veste Academy]

For us, getting another dog has been really been helpful. We all, kids and adults, needed another furry body to pour our love and attention on.

I do agree with this. It can be hard, but healing. After we lost our yellow lab, a friend's lab had an unplanned litter. Adopting one of those puppies (a chocolate lab this time because DH couldn't handle the idea of a dog who looked like the one we lost) was what ultimately helped salve our daily grief by distracting us from the feeling of abscence. The same was true when we adopted two new kitties after we lost the two this past year. Both times we waited a while though—4 months before getting a puppy and 2-4 weeks between kitties (but DD and I volunteer at a cat rescue, so that plus grief made it hard to resist any longer).

 

We didn't do it until the we all felt ready to put our hearts out there again.

[HollyDay]

This is a hard one.  The only pet I've had to have this happen to was my very much loved Golden.  Where we lived at the time, there were no options for home vet, so we had to go to the vet.  A pet could not be buried so cremation was the only option.  We also had to get a "death certificate" since our city required tags and we had to present proof we no longer had the pet.  It was unbelievably hard.  Shiloh's ashes are in a nice pine box on top of our "homeschool cabinet" along with a picture of him.  Just today, cleaning out one of the drawers in the cabinet, I found his death certificate, a letter from the vet and crematorium, and a half of a broken heart charm they gave us.

 

One thing I wish I had done was take a paw print.  I could have made a paperweight, or a yard stone, or a Christmas ornament from his paw print.

 

We made yard stones.  Hobby Lobby (among other places ) carried kits to make yard stones so we made one for him with his name on it.  The dc decorated it with colored stones. 

 

A year later, we got another Golden.  I wasn't ready but everyone else in the house was ready.  I've come to greatly love our new doggie and having him has helped.

[Scarlett]

Our beloved Labrador will be put to sleep in the very near future. We will be having a vet who travels to homes and helps those last moments go smoothly not only for the pet but for the humans too.

 

One of my sons wants to know what we plan to do after the vet removes the dog from the home. The thought of the upcoming emptiness and awkwardness is hitting us hard.

 

If you had your pet euthanized, especially in your home, what did you do immediately afterwards, besides cry?

 

~Melissa

 

 

I cried and cleaned.  And cleaned and cried.  It was helpful to get her stuff out of the house. Some I threw away, some I donated.  

 

It was tough.  I cried one full day.  My boys just avoided eye contact with me because I was a mess.

[Heatherwith4]

I'm sending a big Thank You to all who have responded. Usually, I try to reply to each post but I'm tearing up too much to do so today. But I am grateful for the replies and thoughts. We've had pets in the past but all did so quietly of natural causes. Our dog has mammary gland cancer and it's taking a huge toll on her body. The cancer has spread rapidly and as our vet told us, it is not pretty nor easy.

 

Prayers for her to make it to Saturday with minimal troubles so all my boys can be home.

 

Thanks again for the hugs and words. Means more to me than you know.

Oh I'm so sorry. Our sweet beagle had mammary cancer, and it was not an easy thing. :grouphug:

[MercyA]

I just happened to see this today. A family donated a bucket of tennis balls to a local shelter in honor of their boy:

https://www.thedodo.com/close-to-home/tennis-balls-donation-shelter-dogs

 

More hugs and prayers, Melissa.

[J-rap]

Aww, I'll be thinking of you.  I become so attached to my sweet dogs, that when they pass on it is very difficult for me.  I've had to euthanize 3 dogs in my lifetime so far.  I probably cried every day for a month each time.  It is one of the most difficult things I've ever been through.  

 

Once the month is over though, and we can begin talking about them without absolutely bawling, it feels better.  And then I feel so grateful that they have been a part of my life!  The whole thing is part of life, and I guess each time, it reminds me of life's fragility and beauty.