$5 per week for 6 year old?

[Lovedtodeath]

Right now she gets $1 every day she holds her pencil right. She has expensive toys picked out to save for. $30-$80. I thought I would keep up the $5 per week and just add on responsibilities as she masters them. Is this too much, too little? I have no clue. It will take her a while to save for the things she wants...

[Rosy]

It sounds like a lot to me--my kids make $.25 per job, and have earned as much as $2 in a day if they're really working hard, but it usually ends up being around $2-3 per week. If you're having your kids use that money to help pay for activities or b-day presents for friends or clothes or something, I could see paying them more; otherwise I think a quarter a day would be sufficient motivation. $80 a month for toys and stuff seems like a lot to me.

[Guest Dulcimeramy]

If you start her at $1/day just for holding a pencil correctly, you are going to regret it, in my opinion.

 

Proper pencil holds are (maybe) a category on a sticker chart if you feel you must use a reward. I've had good success with 5-7 year olds when I just take the time to sit with them and gently remind them as they go.

 

The entire day's household chores could be worth $1.

 

Also, I wouldn't imagine she'd go along with adding in more and more responsibilities for the same pay. That's another reason to start VERY small, and let the pay increase as the work does.

 

My two cents! But take it with a grain of salt...I've never paid for schoolwork or daily chores. I only pay for extra chores. Oh, I also pay handsomely for dirty jobs that I ask the kids to do just because I don't want to do it myself.

[hornblower]

My kids each get $2/week allowance.

If I remember.

Or if they remember to remind me.

 

I don't pay them for schoolwork or chores or anything. This is just pocket money. For a while, my ds was using it to buy a soft drink out of a machine - that was his idea of a big treat!

 

They also get extra money from granparents on their birthdays.

 

My 13 yo is a $ hoarder. There are few things she wants to spend her money on.

 

The 9 yo is a spender. He usually goes through his birthday money quickly. For him it works if I forget to give him allowance for a while because then he'll get $10 or $20 (yes, that's how long we forget for...) in a lump and can get something bigger.

 

I am reasonably willing to buy them smaller toys & other stuff throughout the year so they don't seem to really need the money.

 

Your child sound very rich to me. I don't have that much money to just blow on myself each month.... :lol:

[Alaska Mom]

Right now she gets $1 every day she holds her pencil right. She has expensive toys picked out to save for. $30-$80. I thought I would keep up the $5 per week and just add on responsibilities as she masters them. Is this too much, too little? I have no clue. It will take her a while to save for the things she wants...

 

 

Hum, for me too much. But maybe I'm just a mean mom! I have no idea what others are doing either. Personally, I don't pay my dd6 an allowance yet, nor pay her for work done. I'm really of the belief that rewarding with money is not something I want to do with my kids (at least not this early), mainly I just dislike the "what do I get for it" attitude that I fear comes with the rewarding for chores, or grades, or whatever. My personal goal is to instill the value of "work well done! Gee I feel good!". Also there are all sorts of obligations and duties in life that we do not get paid for - a good lesson to learn at an early age (IMO). Maybe a strange goal in today's society, but that's what I'm shooting for! She does get birthday money sent from relatives that she can save and spend as she wants, and as for her big "expensive" toy wishlists, I reward her with those for Christmas and birthdays. Just what I'm doing, for what it's worth! Curious too to see what others are doing. :001_smile:

 

P.S. As for pencil hold, my daughter had a incorrect hold that I started correcting in September by just gently reminded her every time she wrote. After about 4 weeks of constant reminding she now holds it correctly without any reminding. Hang it there!

[AuntieM]

but if you fast forward ten years you will be paying her a zillion dollars to do a geometry proof. You are one generous mama!

 

Really, the encouragement is terrific but be careful about setting such a precedent for behavior that should be normally expected. At that age a nickel - or a popsicle - should do wonders, without breaking the bank.

[chaik76]

We do $5 a week. I actually thought it was too little (as I got $5/wk when I was 7). We don't tie it to anything other than him being a contributing member of our family (since that's how I get my spending money, too!). He can earn extra quarters by doing extra chores (he has some chores that are just done...they aren't tied to anything at all). I like giving at least $5 because I. likes to save his money to buy bigger toys and giving less than that would make it almost impossible to do so. There are toys that he already has to save for months and months for, and I don't want to make it so hard that he gives up and just starts spending his money on nonsense, when he already likes to save up for the "big" stuff.

[Brindee]

:iagree: I agree with the above posts. TOO MUCH imho as well! We have friends that pay their son $10 to mow the lawn. It's not that big of a lawn really, and he uses a rider mower! It takes him MAYBE 30 minutes. That's too much--that's $20/hour. I work harder than he does and don't get paid anywhere near that much!

 

Plus, you have another little one come up. By the time that one is 6, you'll be paying your older one a LOT, and the younger one will expect it too. Then it all goes back to the attitude of when you ask them to do something they don't say "Yes, Mommy" they say "What do I get for doing it?"

 

I don't pay for chores or schoolwork, for the same reason another poster mentioned: They need to learn the satisfaction of hard work well-done! A sense of accomplishment because they know they worked hard will take them farther than expecting a return for everything they do.

 

I have one day care girl that I'm working letters and numbers with. When she does something well, we give high fives, tell her we're proud of here, dance a jig, get excited (not all of those every time!!! :lol: ). She LOVES that! She gets a big smile on her face!

 

It's late and I'm rambling....hope some of this made sense!:tongue_smilie:

[Kate CA]

Right now she gets $1 every day she holds her pencil right. She has expensive toys picked out to save for. $30-$80. I thought I would keep up the $5 per week and just add on responsibilities as she masters them. Is this too much, too little? I have no clue. It will take her a while to save for the things she wants...

 

It is too much in my opinion. My older children receive $5.00 a *month* for mowing the lawns and that is a lot of work in the summer time. It is the only thing they get paid for and must clean and help keep the house up as we all live here and we all make the messes.

 

I don't understand why you would pay your child to hold her pencil correctly - that seems like it should be part of school already. I don't pay my children to do their math - why would I pay them to write? I guess I just think you are opening up a giant can of worms. If you feel she must be paid for something then I think it should be work of some sort that is extra from her regular chores. I am not a believer in regular allowance just for living in the house. :D

[elegantlion]

I agree that it is too much. At that age my ds would earn about 3.00 per week (.50 / year of life) and it was tied to chores, not school activities.

 

I think that payment sets a huge precedent for her expectations to get paid. My ds also had expensive toys he wanted at that age. We made it a point to give him additional ways to earn the money, such as chores that were above his normal scope.

 

We have also done a loan program. Such as you save half, I'll loan you the other half. But there has to be a payback schedule. The discipline to save money is a worthy skill but I would find a different way to help her.

[keptwoman]

I don't think the $5/week is the problem. That's what my kids have always got. And the oldest still gets that. Fortunately he is able to get a part time job very soon.

 

It's what it is tied to and how that will relate to future money that would concern me. Like others I'd have to say that pencil grip doesn't warrant $1/day.

 

We actually don't tie money to chores. Have tried in the past and it hasn't been a success. Chores are expected regardless in our house and I don't want to give them the option of refusing them and not getting the $$ ...which is what can happen. Trust me. I know.

 

There is some stuff you've just got to do. Household chores and pencil grips are in that category. They may warrant a star chart. I don't think they will ever warrant $1 per item.

[Laura Corin]

That seems quite a lot to me. Calvin (11) gets £1.10 and Hobbes (8) gets £0.80. That's closer to two dollars for the oldest. We give an extra ten pence a week for each year of age - no money for chores, they just do those as family members.

 

Laura

[bumbledeb]

Right now she gets $1 every day she holds her pencil right. She has expensive toys picked out to save for. $30-$80. I thought I would keep up the $5 per week and just add on responsibilities as she masters them. Is this too much, too little? I have no clue. It will take her a while to save for the things she wants...

 

I agree with what most of the others say but also would add something. When do you plan to stop giving her a dollar for holding her pencil correctly? And what happens then? Is she effectively then going to be punished for having learned this skill? (by losing that dollar every week, even if you add another one for some other thing, she is still losing that dollar)

[Trivium Academy]

Here's statistics for you from kidsmoney.org about how much to give at what age -

http://www.kidsmoney.org/allstats.htm#Amt

 

My only question is if you're paying $5.00 a week now at age 6, what will you be paying at age 12? $5.00 a day? That's something to think about, kids like to earn more b/c they are older. 25¢ per job is good, at 6 something $30-80 is HUGE. Our dd8 has stated that she wants multiple things that cost $79-$300 each, she doesn't look at the price or consider it though and she won't get it unless grands do it.

[TammyinTN]

This is a great chart...thank you!

[snickelfritz]

BUT,

We're going to have her give 2(tithe & donate to her choice) and save 2 for college. That gives her $2 a week actual spending money to spend on junk or to save for something.

 

A separate issue is that she's expected to do her schoolwork and things around the house. At this point, those things are not an issue. I guess there could be a situation where she could lose her allowance (a priviledge) by not fulfilling her responsibilities.

 

We haven't set out the specifics of how we'll increase that amount. I could see it being a dollar a year (and the percentage of each category stays the same)

 

or

 

At some point, if she wants extra money, we'll have EXTRA chores that she can do to earn it.

[Ria]

I can't quite understand why you'd pay a child for schoolwork. It's school, she's a student, and holding the pencil is part of the deal. IMO, you'll seriously regret tying money to schoolwork of any type.

 

That said, I don't see why parents feel the need to give young children money in the first place. Allowance just doesn't fly with me...I don't owe my kids anything! As a member of the family they have responsibilites - chores - to help the household function. Why would I pay them for that? No one pays me, lol! A young child - especially a child of 5 or 6 - has absolutely no need for spending money. Allowing a child to spend money on junk...why? That seems like such a wasteful thing to me. I prefer to teach the value of money, not to allow frivolous spending.

 

When our kids are older, from 9-10 up, we will pay for certain work outside the regular chores. For example, we pay $10 for mowing the lawn (an acre; we have a riding mower but it still takes well over an hour, lots of trees, fences to mow around). Washing all three cars will net $5. At age 14 our kids can get a part-time job...that's about the age when extra spending money becomes important.

 

Ria

Edited November 2, 2008 by Ria

[Pamela H in Texas]

I'm with everyone else....

 

I wouldn't tie $ to school or chores. At most, I'd go .50 per year of age per week.

 

BTW, and it's also problematic to base what $ she gets on what material things she wants (there's been some discussion about materialism lately). I also don't agree with giving a lot more because of forced savings & giving for a couple of the same reasons. I mean, no one gets paid more just because they want more stuff or more expensive stuff or wants to save or give more. They have to earn it somehow and there is always sacrifice involved. But there are also heart issues involved, imo.

 

Personally, I'd apologize to her for starting the 'holding the pencil' thing and probably the $5/week thing. I'd amend them as reasonable, like a progress chart until she makes the pencil grasp thing a good habit.

Edited November 2, 2008 by 2J5M9K

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

We don't reward things you are supposed to do anyway. You either do it or not, but if you choose not, you are choosing the consequences of not. Freedom comes with responsibility here. You don't show the responsibility, you don't get the freedom. If you aren't mature enough to hold the pencil correctly, you aren't mature enough to say- watch TV.

 

If dd wants something badly enough, she can ask for it. She knows we generally are not going to buy toys unless it is Christmas or her birthday. A lot of people give her money and she is very stingy. She has quite a bit saved up, but she doesn't like to spend. She knows she can wait for holiday time to ask for what she wants. One thing I have never had happen is for my kid to throw a fit in a store over something she wanted. She likes to go in the store to look at toys, but she never asks for anything. Once she asked for a piece of candy at the checkout, we said no, and she put it back.

 

We do give dd money, but usually just if she is going somewhere she needs it, like if a friend invites her to the mall or on a trip, etc.

[elegantlion]

I can't quite understand why you'd pay a child for schoolwork. It's school, she's a student, and holding the pencil is part of the deal. IMO, you'll seriously regret tying money to schoolwork of any type.

 

That said, I don't see why parents feel the need to give young children money in the first place. Allowance just doesn't fly with me...I don't owe my kids anything! As a member of the family they have responsibilites - chores - to help the household function. Why would I pay them for that? No one pays me, lol! A young child - especially a child of 5 or 6 - has absolutely no need for spending money. Allowing a child to spend money on junk...why? That seems like such a wasteful thing to me. I prefer to teach the value of money, not to allow frivolous spending.

 

When our kids are older, from 9-10 up, we will pay for certain work outside the regular chores. For example, we pay $10 for mowing the lawn (an acre; we have a riding mower but it still takes well over an hour, lots of trees, fences to mow around). Washing all three cars will net $5. At age 14 our kids can get a part-time job...that's about the age when extra spending money becomes important.

 

Ria

 

I just wanted to add my perspective on this. My dh and I have been paying our son an allowance since he was 3, he is now 11. It is tied to chores, but not all chores are paid.

 

I do not feel I owe my ds frivolous spending money, but I DO owe him the chance to learn proper money management. Both dh and I learned the hard way. My dh is self-employed and he knows that if he doesn't work he doesn't get paid. We want ds to understand that if you don't get up and do the work there is no pay.

 

He puts part of his money into long term savings, part goes to give and he can spend the rest. Right now he earns 6.00 per week. I've had multiple families comment on how well he manages his money. We've done many an economic lessons in the toy aisle and he buys most of his own toys. He understands how tax factors into a purchase, he understands how to shop around and find the best price, and he's experienced buyers remorse.

 

He's not perfect, he's 11. He tries to get out of chores, he sometimes blows his money the day he gets it, but I am glad we started on this journey sooner than later.

 

I don't consider it allowance, I consider it a long term course in money management. I hope that by the time he graduates from high school he will have a deeper understanding of how to handle his finances. I know he will be thankful and I'm sure his future wife will be grateful as well.

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

A young child - especially a child of 5 or 6 - has absolutely no need for spending money.

 

When your kids go places with friends, do you expect the friend's parents to pay for everything?

 

Allowing a child to spend money on junk...why?

 

Why not teach kids to be good consumers and not buy junk in the first place?

[snickelfritz]

Allowing a child to spend money on junk...why? That seems like such a wasteful thing to me. I prefer to teach the value of money, not to allow frivolous spending.

 

It's an easy lesson that if they want to save up for "X", they can't spend it on candy. Or cheap jewelry. I'd much rather they practice with their $2 a week now, than when they are older.

 

I honestly think it's one that they will figure out pretty quickly, FOR THEMSELVES. And I think that makes it more valuable than me telling them over and over. Same with me TELLING them that toy is junk. They don't believe it. Ever. After having some items, that THEY bought, break within a day; I believe they will decide to spend their money on better things.

 

It gets much more expensive when they go away to college and make money mistakes.

Edited November 2, 2008 by snickelfritz

[Ria]

When your kids go places with friends, do you expect the friend's parents to pay for everything?

 

 

 

Why not teach kids to be good consumers and not buy junk in the first place?

 

I really can't remember a time when any of our six kids went anywhere at age 5 or 6 and needed spending money. It just didn't happen. When the kids were older, occasionally they went bowling, etc., and I'd give them some money. These times were few and far between, and I had no problem giving them a few dollars for that event.

 

As for the junk stuff, I understand teaching the kids to be good consumers; mature children will learn from their purchasing mistakes. However, I think the average child of 5 or 6 doesn't have the maturity to learn not to buy junk at this age, and especially when the money supply keeps coming (allowance). I've seen what happens when young children get money and are allowed to spend it in whatever way they want; all six of ours had money given to them from relatives for birthdays and Christmas. I watched them "eat" their money (candy! treats!) one too many times when they were younger. The instant gratification of eating far outweighed the pleasure gained from saving; in short, they would rather eat the donut than save the dough. It never mattered to my kids when their money was gone, but it bothered me because I didn't feel they were learning to save. So, we made the "you can't eat your money" rule for the younger kids and that helped quite a bit.

 

With my older children I'm much more laid back...they are old enough to figure out that buying junk will deplete their funds. With maturity does come some wisdom, lol.

 

Ria

[Pamela H in Texas]

I've seen what happens when young children get money and are allowed to spend it in whatever way they want; all six of ours had money given to them from relatives for birthdays and Christmas. I watched them "eat" their money (candy! treats!) one too many times when they were younger.

 

Of course that is what they did when they only got money 2 to 3 times per year. They don't do that when they get money weekly. Also, just as you learned, just because it's their money doesn't mean you can't make any limits on it.

[abbeyej]

It seems like a lot to me... But my poor children get no allowance at all, and are only paid for jobs I give them specifically to earn money -- not for the "normal" stuff (school or around the house)...

[JudoMom]

If you start her at $1/day just for holding a pencil correctly, you are going to regret it, in my opinion.

 

Proper pencil holds are (maybe) a category on a sticker chart if you feel you must use a reward. I've had good success with 5-7 year olds when I just take the time to sit with them and gently remind them as they go.

 

The entire day's household chores could be worth $1.

 

Also, I wouldn't imagine she'd go along with adding in more and more responsibilities for the same pay. That's another reason to start VERY small, and let the pay increase as the work does.

 

My two cents! But take it with a grain of salt...I've never paid for schoolwork or daily chores. I only pay for extra chores. Oh, I also pay handsomely for dirty jobs that I ask the kids to do just because I don't want to do it myself.

 

:iagree:

[Haiku]

My five year old gets $1 a week and it is not tied to his school performance or to chores. If he wants extra money to buy something big, he has the opportunity to do extra chores around the house.

 

My six year old gets $1.50 a week, again, not tied to school performance or chores, and she also has the opportunity to earn extra money through extra chores.

 

I would be leery about paying my kids for how well the perform a school task. When she has accomplished holding her pencil correctly, she'll expect to paid for something else. When will it end?

 

Tara

[Matryoshka]

I can't quite understand why you'd pay a child for schoolwork. It's school, she's a student, and holding the pencil is part of the deal. IMO, you'll seriously regret tying money to schoolwork of any type.

 

That said, I don't see why parents feel the need to give young children money in the first place. Allowance just doesn't fly with me...I don't owe my kids anything! As a member of the family they have responsibilites - chores - to help the household function. Why would I pay them for that? No one pays me, lol! A young child - especially a child of 5 or 6 - has absolutely no need for spending money. Allowing a child to spend money on junk...why? That seems like such a wasteful thing to me. I prefer to teach the value of money, not to allow frivolous spending.

 

When our kids are older, from 9-10 up, we will pay for certain work outside the regular chores.

 

:iagree:

 

I feel very much in the minority in this country, it seems like everyone is giving their kids big bucks, but I totally agree with Ria!

 

My older kids are 10 now, and I've started giving them money for extra chores (and my almost 8yo has come along for the ride, lucky her!). They have household chores, which are unpaid, but they get 10 cents a day for taking care of pets, and 25 cents per chore for various other chores. They end up getting around a dollar a week, which is PLENTY. What teaches money management is scarcity. If you've got plenty of money to buy anything your little heart desires, there is no reason to manage it. And I cannot think of a single big ticket item I want my kids to have unless I've approved it, so I'd rather save those for birthday/Christmas, not them buying it.

 

I have to say I've been very, very impressed with what they've chosen to spend their money on! It's mostly been spent on others! They have bought cans of food for the food pantry, to give at church on Sundays, and to give to the homeless. My one dd wanted to buy her friend a figurine (just because, not for birthday present, which I would have subsidized), and it cost more than she had. I let her give me a $1 downpayment, and she's forgoing the weekly pet money till she pays it off. She can still earn the extra chore money if she wants, and keep it.

 

They also wanted to buy some supplies to "Boo" a friend - they didn't have enough money individually, so they all came up with a plan to equally split the payment. I've been quite impressed with their money management skills! But none of the management would have been necessary with a more generous allowance.

[hsmamainva]

My 6 year old daughter has special needs and she is profoundly delayed in the areas of language and fine motor skills.

 

She sees an occupational therapist once a week and a speech therapist twice a week. The OT rewards my daughter for using a proper pencil grip with a sticker on her written work (and we do that in our homeschool as well. She loves having a sticker placed on her paper and she tries to work carefully to ensure that she receives that sticker!)

 

Her speech therapist rewards her with those mini-containers of play-doh, which is one of my daughter's favorite things, if she has a good session (my daughter has to work extremely hard, just to speak words aloud). And I've also encorporated this into our homeschool. At the end of a good school day, I try to have something small for her. Sometimes, it's a new pencil or a new box of 8 crayons, or a small container of play-doh, or a handful of M&Ms.

 

For my daughter, it isn't so much rewarding her for doing what she should as it is rewarding her for something that takes extraordinary effort on her part. What would come as natural for an "average" child, such as talking, is something that she has to work extra hard to accomplish.

[BabyBre]

We follow an adaptation of Clark Howard's plan for kids (Clark Smart for Kids). Each child gets their age in allowance weekly in exchange for very basic chores, with mandatory saving of 2/3 of it: 1/3 goes into an IRA ("long-term savings"), 1/3 goes into a bank savings account ("short-term savings"), and 1/3 is theirs to spend or save however they like ("discretionary").

 

They all have nice piggy banks in their rooms to encourage them to save up for something, but that needs to be done with their discretionary 1/3. The "short-term" bank account isn't as applicable to the younger kids as it is to my teenager who can access it for "things that come up" (like going to a school dance, etc.), or he can save for something big (he's currently saving for driver's ed).

 

Dh and I will match anything beyond the mandatory 1/3 of the allowance that's put into the IRA. Ds15 is beginning to see the value in this - $50 is really $100 that will really become potentially $1000. We make sure they all see their bank statements when they come.

 

Now, I know this plan amounts to a meager spending amount for each kid - ds15 gets only $5 to spend. That's why there are always oportunities for more earning via the posted chore list. At any time, anyone can choose to perform some of Mom or Dad's chores and earn more money.

 

With the two younger (dd7 and ds6) I also keep tally marks during our homeschool work which amount to pennies. When they reach 100 tallies, I pay out $1. They get marks for correct answers, good questions and participation, etc. I'm OK with this because we're only afterschooling right now and so don't have that much time to spend at it. They may get each get a $1 payout once or twice a week, but it's worth it to them. When they were very young, I began using M&Ms but discovered very quickly that they were eating A LOT of candy!

[BabyBre]

Allowance just doesn't fly with me...I don't owe my kids anything! As a member of the family they have responsibilites - chores - to help the household function. Why would I pay them for that? No one pays me, lol!

 

At age 14 our kids can get a part-time job...that's about the age when extra spending money becomes important.

 

Ria

 

 

How can you not teach younger children about money? Money is for saving or spending, they need to learn about both, and I can't see that it's ever too soon to start teaching them.

 

The bottom line at our house is that they will get an allowance as a tool to learn about the value of money. They also need to keep up their part of maintaining the household. If they don't do their job throughout the week, they don't get paid (just like real life). This ties money to work, and keeping their allowances small with additional money earning oportunities available ties money to hard work.

 

My 6 and 7 year olds are learning the importance of saving for when they're too old to work anymore, and my 15 year old is independently putting additional money into his IRA. How many can say that? (I posted above about our savings plan for the kids.) I know many adults who can't say that.

 

It's a beautiful thing to have two younger ones close in age. Ds6 is the one who saves his allowance and any other money he gets. He enjoys counting it and knowing that his number of dollars is growing. Dd7, on the other hand, is always discovering something she wants to buy but doesn't have enough money for because she spent it all on the last thing she wanted. She realizes that her younger brother has enough to buy two of them because he chose to save and not spend. He learns pride in his restraint and ability to save, and she's learning the benefits of controling your impulsivity and compulsions.

 

This has been a great plan for us for several years now.

[Ria]

How can you not teach younger children about money? Money is for saving or spending, they need to learn about both, and I can't see that it's ever too soon to start teaching them.

 

The bottom line at our house is that they will get an allowance as a tool to learn about the value of money. They also need to keep up their part of maintaining the household. If they don't do their job throughout the week, they don't get paid (just like real life). This ties money to work, and keeping their allowances small with additional money earning oportunities available ties money to hard work.

 

My 6 and 7 year olds are learning the importance of saving for when they're too old to work anymore, and my 15 year old is independently putting additional money into his IRA. How many can say that? (I posted above about our savings plan for the kids.) I know many adults who can't say that.

 

It's a beautiful thing to have two younger ones close in age. Ds6 is the one who saves his allowance and any other money he gets. He enjoys counting it and knowing that his number of dollars is growing. Dd7, on the other hand, is always discovering something she wants to buy but doesn't have enough money for because she spent it all on the last thing she wanted. She realizes that her younger brother has enough to buy two of them because he chose to save and not spend. He learns pride in his restraint and ability to save, and she's learning the benefits of controling your impulsivity and compulsions.

 

This has been a great plan for us for several years now.

 

Quite frankly, I don't have enough money to hand it out to six kids for merely being alive from age 3 and up. As soon as the kids are old enough to do responsible work outside their normal chores - age 9 or 10 - they've begun earning money. I think that's plenty young enough to begin learning how to handle money.

 

Ria

[EKS]

Since you are already doing this, I would be sure she understands that this a temporary deal, one to "help" her remember to hold her pencil properly and the idea is that at some point she won't need this "help". I would have the endpoint be the purchase of the chosen toy. If she still isn't holding the pencil correctly automatically by that time ($30-$80 would be 6-16 weeks) then its obviously not working anyway.

[BabyBre]

Quite frankly, I don't have enough money to hand it out to six kids for merely being alive from age 3 and up. As soon as the kids are old enough to do responsible work outside their normal chores - age 9 or 10 - they've begun earning money. I think that's plenty young enough to begin learning how to handle money.

 

Ria

 

 

We budget allowances as part of our educational expenses.

 

There are a lot of good plans that have been posted here. I love matroyshka's plan of paying "scantily" for extra chores only. And I think it can be said that different kids will respond differently to certain plans, just as they do in learning other things.

[Ria]

We budget allowances as part of our educational expenses.

 

There are a lot of good plans that have been posted here. I love matroyshka's plan of paying "scantily" for extra chores only. And I think it can be said that different kids will respond differently to certain plans, just as they do in learning other things.

 

I think you are right. You know, when our kids were much younger we did the "bean game" thing. They earned a certain number of beans per week and could "spend" them once every two weeks at our "store." I think, perhaps, that fills the same role as a small allowance does. The kids learned to save for that "expensive" item and learned what happened if they bought the cheaper items rather than saving. The difference is that we used tokens, not actual dollars. I think the end result was the same.

 

Ria

[Holly IN]

I didn't read any post (no time) but do want to respond to the OP question...

 

I never pay for schoolwork. That will come back to bite really hard. I advise you to stop this right now. As for chores and allowance type of things I do not pay for them either. Now I will pay for a job that is beyond their chores. Our kids have an understanding that they live in my house therefore they have to help out. Chores is one way of helping out.

 

This fall I am having them pick up the sticks and rake leaves. They love this job and do a great job. I will pay for them to do this. It is beyond their chores.

 

I never do allowance. Here is why: I pay for their lunches when we are out, I buy them a treat every now and then and so many other things I do for them.

 

If we did do allowance then they would be responsible for their own treats, lunches, chip in on laundry soap/dishwashing soap and whatever else they need to chip in for living expense. We decided against allowance.

 

Holly

[6packofun]

That's just for holding a pencil correctly? I think it's too much. I think any money for that particular thing is too much, actually.

 

If you want to help a child learn how to use money, there are plenty of ways to do that. Use *fake* money and books and real life, sharing how you use a bank account and write checks, bring them to the grocery store, etc. There is absolutely no need to start attaching a price value to the countless little responsibilities that school and life bring. That's setting her up for a big disappointment about how the real world works and will teach HER to place a monetary value on things that shouldn't have one. I think of how many teens I know who ask their parents, "How much will you pay me?" as a bribe to help out at home or take on a responsibility.

 

I agree with Ria. I'd be flat broke if teaching kids about money involved my giving it to them in huge quantities so that they could somehow mimic the financial responsibilities of older teens and adults.

[clarkacademy]

I agree with Ria. I'd be flat broke if teaching kids about money involved my giving it to them in huge quantities so that they could somehow mimic the financial responsibilities of older teens and adults.

 

 

I don't think money is needed to teach a child about money. I mean "really"? Are you serious? I really think too many children have a "what do I get for it"? attitude like so many others have said. My children are not my slaves or anything but there is nothing wrong with working and being a productive member of the family. I will never pay for school work and I will never pay for behaviors or chores for that matter. I mean not to be rude but noone rewards me when I feed them, buy them clothes, buy them school supplies etc etc etc the list is pretty long. I do it because it is my responsibility. When are children taught personal responsibility when they are paid??

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

I really can't remember a time when any of our six kids went anywhere at age 5 or 6 and needed spending money.

 

Well, I think you are in the minority. My dd is 7, and has been invited to the movies, out shopping, skating, to the museum, to the fair, to the beach, to the mountains, out of town to visit relatives with a friend, and all sorts of other places where she needs spending money for the last 2-3 years. This is pretty much the norm for children where I live.

[Mom0012]

My 6 year old earns that much and it is probably more than she needs at this point. The only reason I give her that amount is that I have only one other child who is 2 years older than her and I started an allowance system with them at the same time. I thought it would be easier for me to pay them both the same amount.

 

For the $5/week, my daughter vacuums under the breakfast table each morning, loads the lunch dishes in the dishwasher, cleans her room each day, and then she either sets the table or helps me with laundry. She must also get dressed, brush her teeth and hair and do all of her school work without complaining.

 

The $5 is allocated -- 70% spending, 20% savings, 10% charity.

Lisa

[Ria]

Well, I think you are in the minority. My dd is 7, and has been invited to the movies, out shopping, skating, to the museum, to the fair, to the beach, to the mountains, out of town to visit relatives with a friend, and all sorts of other places where she needs spending money for the last 2-3 years. This is pretty much the norm for children where I live.

 

As I said before, I gave my children money for occasional movies, to skate, to go bowling, etc. Those are special treats, and I've got no problem giving money for those if I decide the child can go. I would never in a million years hold a 5-7 year old financially responsible for those things...those are not things a child could do on their own without parental permission anyway. If I give permission, I agree to pay for it.

 

When my kids are older, things change. My 11-yr old recently went on a field trip and asked for money to get a souvenir. The answer was no...he's been earning money for a while now. He did take his money, looked at all the junk, and bought the family half a pound of fudge! He decided it would be fun to share something as a gift than to buy junk. :001_smile:

 

Ria

[Blessedfamily]

I understand trying to work out a policy. I am too. My dd doesn't have a need for an allowance yet, but I'm sure it will come up when she's older.

 

One experience for us-

 

My daughter doesn't eat much. I offer a great variety of foods for nutrition and to find something she likes, but she's just "too busy". At four, I was giving her previledges(not money) for eating her vegetables. Well, one day I asked her to eat her vegetables and she asked, "What'll I get for it?" I answered, "Hopefully, good health and long life". That basically put an end to giving a reward every single time, though I haven't abandoned rewards altogether. We will just re-work it using our own judgment.

Edited November 2, 2008 by Blessedfamily

[Lovedtodeath]

Thanks for all the thoughts. It is helping me come to a decision.

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

I would never in a million years hold a 5-7 year old financially responsible for those things...those are not things a child could do on their own without parental permission anyway.

 

Yes, but when you send them with another family, do you expect the other family to pay for it or to keep track of your child's money? My POV is that if my child is to have the freedom to do such things, she should also be capable of managing her own money while she is there. And since she doesn't want to be that lonely kid who never gets invited or goes anywhere, she has learned to manage her money quite well.

 

When I take other children with us, they have their own money. I would be sort of offended if my dd invited another child to the beach for a week and the parents expected me to pay for everything. Of course, I do buy things for the friend to be nice, but I would be offended if it was expected.

 

I guess the point I am trying to make is that while your kids might have no need for spending money at 5 or 6, there are plenty of kids out there who very much do. Some parents give allowance and expect thier children to use it for things like movies, etc. My dd invited a friend just this weekend to see HSM, but the girl couldn't go because she had already spent her allowance. I think this is very admirable, although we don't give allowance.

[hornblower]

Well, I think you are in the minority. My dd is 7, and has been invited to the movies, out shopping, skating, to the museum, to the fair, to the beach, to the mountains, out of town to visit relatives with a friend, and all sorts of other places where she needs spending money for the last 2-3 years. This is pretty much the norm for children where I live.

 

I guess I'm in the minority as well then.

 

On the rare occasions that this happens, I would not expect my kids to spend THEIR OWN money on it. If it's an outing I approve of, if I were going, I'd be paying for them to attend & we'd budget in advance for a treat or lunch or whatever. Just because I'm not there, doesn't really change it - since normally I'd pay for it, if I'm not there, I give them money for that specific event, or the other parent pays & I pay them back.

 

The allowance is just for them to splurge on themselves or save or do whatever they like with.

 

I'm really surprised at the # of people who tie money to chores. I don't want to be an employer of my children. Household chores are just part of living in a family, everyone doing their share. (I don't get paid. For that matter, I don't get an allowance either. Neither does dh.)

 

And I do think I 'owe' my kids a lot. Pocket money is just a small part of all the many things..... healthy food, clothing, a good education, stable home, love, laughter and pocket money :-) are just a few of the things I owe these precious people in my life. Giving them an allowance is just this - a gift.

 

I guess not many people here are fans of Alfie Kohn's Punished by Rewards?

http://www.alfiekohn.org/books/pbr.htm

 

 

"Another group of studies shows that when people are offered a reward for doing a task that involves some degree of problem solving or creativity—or for doing it well—they will tend to do lower quality work than those offered no reward."

http://www.alfiekohn.org/teaching/pdf/Punished%20by%20Rewards.pdf

 

 

 

 

Offering rewards backfires. There have been numerous interesting psych experiments that show when you give extrinsic rewards, the level of intrinsic motivation goes down.

 

 

 

 

Behaviourism & positive reinforcement IMO are wonderful tools for training animals & I use those tools all day, every day with dogs & cats & even fancy rats, but I don't use them on people.

 

 

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

On the rare occasions that this happens, I would not expect my kids to spend THEIR OWN money on it.

 

Well, see this is us. I just give dd money when she is invited somewhere. BUT- that's for basic expenses. Sometimes she brings some of her own money along for extras.

 

My dh loves that book you mentioned. We do use rewards here, but they are not expected. For example, if dd did something really great one day, I might appear out of nowhere with a bowl of ice cream at 9AM. Her dad might surprise her with a lunch date at McDonald's. Personally, I think expected rewards can be detrimental.

[ELaurie]

but I think the answer depends in part upon your goals.

 

Here's an idea I heard from another mom:

 

She gives her dc $1 per week based upon their ages, so for example, a 6 yo would receive $6 per week at her house.

 

The children are required to put 1/3 into long term savings, for items such a computer (in HS) or toward educational expenses.

 

They put 1/3 into short term savings, for items such as toys in the $30 range mentioned in your post. They can spend the other 1/3 as they wish, or save it.

 

This family doesn't buy toys for their dc, except for birthdays and holidays. Their 9 yo ds has saved more than $1000 for a long term purchase.

 

As teenagers, they will be required to begin purchasing some of their clothing and shoes using this $ as well.

 

In families who tithe or give to charitable causes, a portion could be set aside for this as well.

 

She decided to do this because she was a poor money manager when she was young, and felt it would give them plenty of practice when the consequences were relatively small.

 

Apart from these types of gaols, I'm inclined to agree that it seems like a lot of $ for a 6 yo on an ongoing basis. OTOH, there have also been times when our dc earned money for doing chores or other work toward a long term purchase (for ds 9 it was a 21 speed bicycle). We've tended to implement these kinds of strategies on a short term basis, but not in a ongoing way.

[Lovedtodeath]

Someone said $80 a month... where did that come from?

 

This family doesn't buy toys for their dc, except for birthdays and holidays.

 

Laurie, I appreciated all that you had to say. I got tired of reading replies myself!:lol: We do not celebrate birthdays or holidays. We do usually get gifts for everyone once every 2-3 years if we shop on black friday. Our short term goal is breaking the pencil grip habit. I explained it to Em as a reward that was going to stay until the habit is broken (about 6 weeks), then she will continue to hold her pencil correctly without it. So the $5 a week stands for that. I have other goals for our family. Whether I will offer rewards for those, I don't know... but this is helping me decide.

 

Thanks everyone! I like chaik's reply... because she agrees with me!:D:lol:

Edited November 2, 2008 by Lovedtodeath

[gardening momma]

Quite frankly, I don't have enough money to hand it out to six kids for merely being alive from age 3 and up. As soon as the kids are old enough to do responsible work outside their normal chores - age 9 or 10 - they've begun earning money. I think that's plenty young enough to begin learning how to handle money.

I completely understand about not having the money to hand out, but I do think there needs to be some balance. For a while, when I was upper elementary age, my older sister and I got a $0.50 allowance per week. That didn't last long, because mom & dad either forgot often, or they didn't have the money, or both. Then, in jr. and sr. high, each of us four kids had our own money jars which my mom kept in the pantry. We kept our money there. We didn't have an allowance, but birthday money, Christmas money, etc... went there. We could pretty much spend it when we wanted. So we did learn how to handle money, but I never learned to keep money. I wish I had been taught that--from an early age, and consistently over the years. Perhaps then I would have been a better manager of my money when I was out on my own.

[Rosy]

I'm really surprised at the # of people who tie money to chores. I don't want to be an employer of my children. Household chores are just part of living in a family, everyone doing their share. (I don't get paid. For that matter, I don't get an allowance either. Neither does dh.)

 

But your DH gets (or you get) paid for going to work, right? I'm sure he (or you) wouldn't stay there long if he was (or you were) compensated by "the satisfaction of a job well done."

 

My reason for linking money and chores is that I want my kids to learn the connection between work and money. I don't pay them to take care of their own things, and I haven't compensated them for anything school-related, but I do pay them to do things that benefit the family. I don't buy them anything except necessary clothing items unless it's their b-day or Christmas, and even then we only spend $25-50 ea. at the most.

 

I feel that my kids have learned responsibility through working. They know that they have to take care of themselves and their things before they can earn money, and they know that if they want something they need to work for it. They know that if they break or lose something it won't be replaced. They know to think ahead and shop frugally. They have learned to tithe. They aren't allowed to buy anything that they haven't thought about for at least a couple days--if they see something they want at the store, they have to wait a few days and then we go back for it if they still want it.

 

We pay half if they want clothes or certain books. Starting this spring (when garage sales start) DD8 will not have clothes provided for her anymore. She'll start having to buy gifts for b-day parties soon too. When they're older they'll have to pay for their activities. We'll be increasing their wages according to what their needs are, but they still have to work for things.

 

They do plenty for the "satisfaction of a job well done", but they also need to learn to work for money and manage that money. That's the way the world works that I'm preparing them for.