Threatened seriously to put 5th grader in school pls don't quote

[MotherGoose]

And please be kind :). Always homeschooled child has absolutely no idea how much free time she has compared to schooled kids. Complains when we have a busy day (yesterday was coop, 10-3, then didn't get home till 5 although she got to play with friends.) that she doesn't get to play individually. She needs time to play by herself and/or with sister. I GET IT. But sometimes, particularly on coop days, and other days we are doing things that are valuable, you don't get as much time. She can't stay up late because she is a MESS and won't sleep in. I've talked to her very seriously about how she would be going to school (on the bus) because I wouldn't. Be driving her, and would be gone 7-4 or whatever. Then homework. She is very cooperative and sweet with other authority figures, and is a sweet child most of time. But she has to do school. And activities that are important. She likes coop, and she likes homeschool gym. We have three unscheduled days and no evening activities. I don't think we are overschedled.

[gardenmom5]

Hugs.

 

She only knows her own experience. The other isn't, so it's understandable she doesn't get it.

 

I also think some of this is typical for the age.

[MotherGoose]

So what do you do? We have complete drama meltdowns over here. I'm just not willing to put up with this all day every day for the next 7 years. She is perfectly content and happy until she doesn't get her way. Today it was because sister woke up early (independently) and played and she was mad because she didn't get to play, but would've been mad if I woke her up. And then that just sets it all off. I told her that at least if I put her in school I wouldn't have to put up with it all day, it would just be before nad after school. That was certainly not a nice thing at all, but my reality right now. I also told her that I want to homeschool, that we decided to homeschool because we wanted her to have more free time.

[MotherGoose]

I am also very sure that she would be a perfect A-b honor roll student at school, and all the teachers would love her. Seriously. People go out of their way to tell me how sweet she is. And she IS sweet. But not with me when she doesn't get her way, and that's always been the case. Sister is not the same way at all, so I don't think the problem Lies entirely with me.

[SKL]

Yeah, my kids complain if they can't have screen time after spending hours doing fun stuff.  "We spent the whole day doing things YOU wanted us to do."  Um, yeah, except for the 2 hour break you had, the half hour we spent getting you ice cream, and the fact that the whole morning was all about your horse riding activity.  The rest of the time being spent having a restaurant lunch and shopping, where you got stuff bought for you.  Cry me a river.  :P

 

Wednesdays have been a point of contention for my eldest.  She has a gymnastics class, her favorite activity of all.  Including driving (when we listen to a fun audiobook), it takes 2.5 hours out of the evening (during which time her sister is "free").  If she has much homework (and she often does), that means no "free time" on Wednesdays.  Because her favoritest activity isn't "free time."  Sorry kid, you can't have everything.  :)

 

I tell my kids there will be some days when free time doesn't happen, but every week will always have some blocks of free time.  Hopefully I won't have to hear about it again this evening.  :P

[FaithManor]

You could consider "school boot camp". Get her up when she would have to get up for the bus. Make her do everything to get ready and pack her lunch. Make her stand outside with you to wait for the bus just like the other kids going back inside when the neighbor kids would be getting on the bus. Make her sit in a chair holding her back pack on her lap for the amount of time she would be on the bus. Let her talk to her sister though since it is likely that she would talk with another student on the way.

 

Put her to the table, ring the bell, take roll call, explain the first subject, and when she has it done make her sit quietly at the table for the rest of the class period until the next subject. No drinks of water or bathroom breaks until first recess. End recess promptly. Do it all again unwilling always having to sit and wait between subjects. Do until school would be released, do the reverse pack and bus ride, get home, and make sure she has homework to do after that because many many schools deliberately assign homework to youngsters who finished their assignments at school.

 

Do it for two or three days. Be pleasant and cheerful...a model teacher but be a teacher not a mom. No turns on again when she gets off "the bus". And make sure you set bed time to account for the earlier rise time as well.

 

That might help her get some perspective.

[Wabi Sabi]

I've been considering enrolling my dd in school for the last 8 weeks of the year so she can see for herself what the schedule is really like. It's not the only reason, but a big part of why we're thinking about it. 

[mamaraby]

so I don't think the problem Lies entirely with me.

Well, you're mom so of course she says things to you. You're safe to do that with. No need to perform, no need to be on your best behavior or make a good impression. And she's in 5th grade - it can be a difficult age (see also the thread hanging around here called "you're being a pill" or something like that).

 

So, when it happens here I'd do one of a few things

-Be a little silly when the kids start to complain. Sometimes I wail along with them. Sometimes I reply in a dry humor kind of way "Yeah, you're totally right. That's so unfair. As a parent, I try to do two evil things before dinner everyday and that's my first one. Thanks kiddo!" Usually they decide in that moment that I have gone off my rocker and it nips the drama in the bud. You don't have to engage.

 

-If the drama begins either ask the overly dramatic one to head to their room and collect themselves or you can leave the room. You don't have to engage.

 

-Offer cookies. Tea. Cinnamon rolls. Obviously not all the time, but every now and then shake things up and be the fun parent.

 

-When everyone is calm have a sit down chat. Tea. Soda. Coffee. Fancy sparkling water. Ask the kid to help you brainstorm ways to make what they want to happen possible. It's Logic stage so this is a good chance to flex their brains and practice negotiating. You can be honest - we don't always get what we want - but maybe there are ideas you can implement together. Here's my minimum expectation, kiddo. How can we work together so we're both happy.

 

-Take a break - it's March. Everyone always says February is so tough, but March isn't always a laugh a minute. If you haven't already taken a break, then take one. It doesn't have to be a long time. Pick a day you have nothing going on, get yourself a book, have a comfy seat and forget to start school for the day. See how long it takes before the kids notice. Feign ignorance when they do notice. Really? Is it supposed to be a school day? Be unpredictable everyonce in awhile

 

And when everyone is calm give the kid a hug and tell her you know it can be tough sometimes.

 

It does get better. Hang in there.

Edited March 15, 2017 by mamaraby

[scrapbookbuzz]

Yeah, my kids complain if they can't have screen time after spending hours doing fun stuff.  "We spent the whole day doing things YOU wanted us to do."  Um, yeah, except for the 2 hour break you had, the half hour we spent getting you ice cream, and the fact that the whole morning was all about your horse riding activity.  The rest of the time being spent having a restaurant lunch and shopping, where you got stuff bought for you.  Cry me a river.  :p

 

Wednesdays have been a point of contention for my eldest.  She has a gymnastics class, her favorite activity of all.  Including driving (when we listen to a fun audiobook), it takes 2.5 hours out of the evening (during which time her sister is "free").  If she has much homework (and she often does), that means no "free time" on Wednesdays.  Because her favoritest activity isn't "free time."  Sorry kid, you can't have everything.  :)

 

I tell my kids there will be some days when free time doesn't happen, but every week will always have some blocks of free time.  Hopefully I won't have to hear about it again this evening.  :p

 

Thank you for posting this response! And thank you, OP, for starting the conversation! I must confess I'm guilty of wanting to sit in front of the screen myself after coming home from a long day out. HOWEVER, I know I need to improve my cracking the whip skills  :D and need to be better about not letting them have MORE time off. Yesterday was a prime example. DD18 has horsemanship lessons every Tuesday morning. We are literally gone about 5 hours. Yesterday I had other things planned for me to do outside of the house in the afternoon. She got NO schoolwork done! Granted she struggles with Aspergers and Dyslexia but I told her last night that should not be an excuse to NOT do some work in the afternoon. Take an hour, at max two, to recover, then let's work on some things that can help restore your energy. We were both at fault in that one. thanks for getting me off my lazy duff!  :p

[Terabith]

Honestly? That's why I sent mine to school. I couldn't take the screaming. And she actually really is happier at school. Not learning as much but enough and our relationship is much better.

[mommyoffive]

I am right there with you. 

 

Spring break?

 

 

 

Does your school district do summer school they could enroll in? 

 

 

What if you didn't do co-op?

 

I loved and hated co-op and so did my kids.  They missed their down time too.   They would go nuts at school.  

[Catwoman]

I am also very sure that she would be a perfect A-b honor roll student at school, and all the teachers would love her. Seriously. People go out of their way to tell me how sweet she is. And she IS sweet. But not with me when she doesn't get her way, and that's always been the case. Sister is not the same way at all, so I don't think the problem Lies entirely with me.

It's not you. :)

 

Your dds have two different personalities and it's not because of anything you did or didn't do.

 

If you want your dd to see how the other half lives, can you go to a local school and ask if your dd can shadow a current student for a day so she can see if the school is a good fit for her? I don't know if public schools do this, but I know at least a few private and Christian schools in my area recommend that prospective students "try out" the school for a day to get an idea of the routine and how the classes work. I'm not saying you have to actually enroll your dd in school, and you do run the risk that she will love it there -- and that will give her something else to complain about when you tell her you don't plan to stop homeschooling -- but it would show her firsthand what it's really like to go to school.

[mommyoffive]

It's not you. :)

 

Your dds have two different personalities and it's not because of anything you did or didn't do.

 

If you want your dd to see how the other half lives, can you go to a local school and ask if your dd can shadow a current student for a day so she can see if the school is a good fit for her? I don't know if public schools do this, but I know at least a few private and Christian schools in my area recommend that prospective students "try out" the school for a day to get an idea of the routine and how the classes work. I'm not saying you have to actually enroll your dd in school, and you do run the risk that she will love it there -- and that will give her something else to complain about when you tell her you don't plan to stop homeschooling -- but it would show her firsthand what it's really like to go to school.

 

 

I think the shadowing is a neat idea.  Hadn't thought of that.  But it is also just a slice of it.  Not the day after day.  The homework.

 

My kids did summer school one year and loved the first day of it.  But hated having to do it the next day and the next.....

 

That being said I am sending my kids to summer school this year.  I am beyond fried.   we didn't do it last year and had a great summer just doing what we wanted to do.  Staying up late.  Enjoyed being outside.  No schedule.  It was great.  But last year they were also in Co-op.  This year we didn't do it.  I needed that.  I needed one day where I wasn't in charge.  

[Ellie]

And please be kind :). Always homeschooled child has absolutely no idea how much free time she has compared to schooled kids. Complains when we have a busy day (yesterday was coop, 10-3, then didn't get home till 5 although she got to play with friends.) that she doesn't get to play individually. She needs time to play by herself and/or with sister. I GET IT. But sometimes, particularly on coop days, and other days we are doing things that are valuable, you don't get as much time. She can't stay up late because she is a MESS and won't sleep in. I've talked to her very seriously about how she would be going to school (on the bus) because I wouldn't. Be driving her, and would be gone 7-4 or whatever. Then homework. She is very cooperative and sweet with other authority figures, and is a sweet child most of time. But she has to do school. And activities that are important. She likes coop, and she likes homeschool gym. We have three unscheduled days and no evening activities. I don't think we are overschedled.

 

Never use going to school as a threat. :-) Of course she doesn't understand what it would be like. And it's ok that she doesn't. Your homeschool is your homeschool, and that's all she needs to know. She doesn't need to know how life would be if she were in school.

 

It is possible that co-op is too much for her. That's a long day. It makes me tired just thinking about it. Five hours. Away from home. Doing school. :svengo:That she "likes it" does not mean that it isn't stressful for her, even if she cannot express it. Perhaps instead of homeschool gym, which I'm assuming is also during the day, she might like an evening community class of some kind, like a dance class, or skating, or even martial arts.

[Guest]

I gave out a very similar "reminder" to DS (6th gr.) today - that if he thinks he doesn't have adequate time now, I could happily put him in school and he can just deal with it. He was an absolute pill today, and an absolute pill Monday, and I'm sure he would have been an absolute pill Tuesday as well, except that I allowed him to stay overnight at his friend's house in anticipation of the snowstorm. (NOT something we ever do on weekdays, and I was NOT in favor of this plan at all, but DH is friends with the friend's dad and was pursuaded it would be a fun experience for them. But then I end up with a kid who is in weekend mode all dang week long!)

 

Truthfully, I am very sick of homeschooling, and a large part of it is the two ADHD boys have been so very much more draining to homeschool than my first child. By this age, my oldest was writing novels as her English program and I only had to glance at her math and science to make sure she was getting the concepts. I would homeschool ten kids like that.

[mommyoffive]

Never use going to school as a threat. :-) Of course she doesn't understand what it would be like. And it's ok that she doesn't. Your homeschool is your homeschool, and that's all she needs to know. She doesn't need to know how life would be if she were in school.

 

It is possible that co-op is too much for her. That's a long day. It makes me tired just thinking about it. Five hours. Away from home. Doing school. :svengo:That she "likes it" does not mean that it isn't stressful for her, even if she cannot express it. Perhaps instead of homeschool gym, which I'm assuming is also during the day, she might like an evening community class of some kind, like a dance class, or skating, or even martial arts.

 

This is wise.  Maybe that is what it is.

 

 

My kids did fine while at co-op, but they missed their own time.  And one year we did all day co-op from 9-4 ran home for a half hour and then went to evening activities. 

 

I think my kids work best having school in the morning and early afternoon.  Lunch.  And then some free time.  Play time is sprinkled into school too.  Then we head some place in the evening for a class. 

They fill their buckets of play and down time and still have sometime to socialize.  

Have you ever done that?  Does it work any better? 

[maize]

Never use going to school as a threat.

Why ever not?

 

I guess I don't see it as a threat so much as presenting the alternative option. Legally, the child needs to be educated. Either they cooperate with the education I attempt to provide at home or they enroll in school. And yep, school is going to mean a lot more hours with your butt in a seat than I require here at home, so if that's not what you want you may prefer to choose option A.

 

I regularly consider school options for my kids; homeschool is only the best choice as long as it is working out to be the best choice.

[Ellie]

Why ever not?

 

I guess I don't see it as a threat so much as presenting the alternative option. Legally, the child needs to be educated. Either they cooperate with the education I attempt to provide at home or they enroll in school. And yep, school is going to mean a lot more hours with your butt in a seat than I require here at home, so if that's not what you want you may prefer to choose option A.

 

I regularly consider school options for my kids; homeschool is only the best choice as long as it is working out to be the best choice.

 

Homeschooling isn't just an alternative to campus school. It is our life.  I kept my children home because I believed it was the best thing for them, in all areas, not just the academic. If at some point campus school became an option, it would be because it was the better option, not because somehow the children didn't perform at home the way I thought they should perform.

[thessa516]

What about getting her a day planner? She can fill in what she will do each hour (or time period). She'll have an idea of just how much time she has for free play. Sometimes that can help a child feel they have some control on how time is scheduled. She can also see that she did get 2 hours (or however long) of free time.

[SKL]

If you want your dd to see how the other half lives, can you go to a local school and ask if your dd can shadow a current student for a day so she can see if the school is a good fit for her? I don't know if public schools do this, but I know at least a few private and Christian schools in my area recommend that prospective students "try out" the school for a day to get an idea of the routine and how the classes work. I'm not saying you have to actually enroll your dd in school, and you do run the risk that she will love it there -- and that will give her something else to complain about when you tell her you don't plan to stop homeschooling -- but it would show her firsthand what it's really like to go to school.

 

Our school recently had a "shadow day."  They offered it on a scheduled fun day when the kids were allowed to dress silly/casual and do some sort of fun theme etc.  I was thinking, if any kids shadowed that day and then came to school there, they would be in for a surprise, LOL.

[Katy]

You won't have to do this for the rest of your homeschool days.  We have repeatedly discussed here that 9-10 is the worst year, attitude wise, for most boys, and 11-12 the worst year for most girls, give or take a year.

 

You can always tour the local public school and help her figure out exactly what it would look like.

 

You can also sit down with her and figure out how to pare down - maybe cut the coop and gym class, and pare down to the 3 R's.  Personally I would greatly limit her other activities and freetime to educational stuff if she wanted to do that.  As in - no TV.  No games.  No real screen time.  Reading, chores, and independent study stuff would be the limit.

 

Whining wouldn't continue to be an option though.

[Alice]

My middle child was like that until this year. It's gotten much better this year. In my mind, this was our test year. If it had been as difficult as it had been in previous years we would probably have enrolled him in school.  I think some of it has just been getting older. We also had several serious talks last year about school. I basically said "It is the law that you go to some kind of school. I like homeschooling you and would like to continue doing that and hope that is what you choose. However, I cannot continue if you act miserable all the time. It is your choice if you go to school elsewhere or here. But you have to do some kind of school." I also talked about phrases that were ok and those that weren't... no "I hate school" but it was ok to say "I don't like Math." 

 

He also really does need free time more than my others. So I've given him a lot more free time this year. I examined what work I could cut back on and what I could cut out but still feel like he was getting the education he needed. He is a kid that needs to be invested what he is doing and needs to feel like it has purpose. I tried to cut out any thing that he saw as busy work or drudgery. He is probably an unschooler by nature, although I'm not an unschooling teacher by nature. But he has surprised me this year with how many things he has gotten interested in and learned on his own once I started giving him free time and stopped assigning stuff.  I also let him drop some activities that I thought were good and even that he seemed to like. But as good as they were, he needed the down time more. 

 

I also use humor to gently show him when he is being a pill. We quote a Calvin and Hobbes cartoon a lot "Being miserable builds character." He (and his sibs) find that very funny when it's done in the right way. And I've shown him how some of his choices effect his free time. For example, he likes to do everything slowly. So it takes him an hour to get out of bed after he wakes up. He just likes to lie there and read and think. I pointed out that if he could get up earlier he could be done with school earlier and he didn't like that idea. So I said that was fine, he can have that time to lie there but that is his free time and he is choosing to use it that way. He found that slightly disturbing but it did help him to see that he is making choices all day about how he spends his time.

 

 

[ScoutTN]

Why ever not?

 

I guess I don't see it as a threat so much as presenting the alternative option. Legally, the child needs to be educated. Either they cooperate with the education I attempt to provide at home or they enroll in school. And yep, school is going to mean a lot more hours with your butt in a seat than I require here at home, so if that's not what you want you may prefer to choose option A.

 

I regularly consider school options for my kids; homeschool is only the best choice as long as it is working out to be the best choice.

That is fine *if* school is an option. For us, it is not. The culture and academics of our public schools are horrendous. Private achool is completely out of reach financially. I would not use school as a threat because, it would be an empty threat and my kids know that.

 

OP, I have no wisdom to offer, but lots of empathy. My 9yo Ds is incredibly difficult all the time lately. You are not alone!

Edited March 16, 2017 by ScoutTN

[flyingaway]

I really did put mine into school for the second semester of fifth grade. It was a revelation to her. She lost hordes of free time, was bored to death in the classroom, and had to spend time after school on assignments like worksheets, a diorama, which she thought was ridiculous, and a science rap song, which she loathed.

 

She came home new and improved after that semester. She's in high school now, but I still threaten to assign her a diorama or a rap song if she's being a pain.

[Mrs_JWM]

We dealt with this same sort of thing this year in the fall. By December, my daughter (11) says she didn't want to be homeschooled anymore. We arranged for tours at two local schools - one charter, one private - and emailed the neighborhood school, with which she was already familiar.

 

She loves the private school; it's tiny. 26 kids K through 8th, 4 teachers, kids she already knew, no homework, social values that are important to our family, a bus that only she and the other kids at the school ride that picks her up in front of our house, etc. It's a delightful little place that is a lot like homeschooling, but it happens outside of our home. And it's a great fit for her. She's learning a ton and making great friends.

 

I tried the school boot camp before we decided on this school, but I'm so glad we enrolled her because it has improved our relationship immensely.

 

Sent from my XT1049 using Tapatalk

Edited March 16, 2017 by Mrs_JWM

[Ellie]

I let my older dd go to school in fifth grade because I knew how much she really wanted to go, even though she didn't really talk about it. Because Moms. :-) . It was a performing arts magnet school, fourth grade through high school, and its performing arts programs were *excellent.* I took a tour, and talked to the counselor, before I said anything to my daughter. She went for six weeks and I brought her home.

 

So I'm not completely opposed to a child's going to school if things don't seem to be going well at home. What I am opposed to is "threatening" the children that I will send them away if they don't straighten up.

[displace]

DS went back to PS for a semester this year. Perspective wasn't the primary reason for enrolling but it was a known fallback result. DS likes homeschooling as much as he can enjoy school at all. But the complaining was too much.

 

We worked on wording complaints better and his voice control, plus he has more perspective now.

 

I do think screen time can contribute to the poor way he communicates because it tends to worsen on days of increased show watching (YMMV).

[maize]

 

I do think screen time can contribute to the poor way he communicates because it tends to worsen on days of increased show watching (YMMV).

I have noticed the same correlation but am uncertain of causation in my household. Are folks grumpy because of too much screen time or are they gravitating to screen time because they are not feeling well physically/mentally/emotionally?

 

I know that the second happens, I also think the first happens at least to some extent but it is harder to verify (that there wasn't some underlying grumpiness before the screen time happened).

[DawnM]

Yeah, my kids complain if they can't have screen time after spending hours doing fun stuff.  "We spent the whole day doing things YOU wanted us to do."  Um, yeah, except for the 2 hour break you had, the half hour we spent getting you ice cream, and the fact that the whole morning was all about your horse riding activity.  The rest of the time being spent having a restaurant lunch and shopping, where you got stuff bought for you.  Cry me a river.  :p

 

Wednesdays have been a point of contention for my eldest.  She has a gymnastics class, her favorite activity of all.  Including driving (when we listen to a fun audiobook), it takes 2.5 hours out of the evening (during which time her sister is "free").  If she has much homework (and she often does), that means no "free time" on Wednesdays.  Because her favoritest activity isn't "free time."  Sorry kid, you can't have everything.  :)

 

I tell my kids there will be some days when free time doesn't happen, but every week will always have some blocks of free time.  Hopefully I won't have to hear about it again this evening.  :p

 

I would have retorted with, "No, you did not do what I wanted you to do.  I wanted you to do your work without whining and complaining and giving me a hard time.  You didn't do that."

 

OP, I could not STAND the whining and arguing.  I threatened to put them in school and honestly, middle and youngest should have gone.  I HSed because of my oldest child and it just worked schedule wise for the rest of us.

 

Now all of them are in school (Community College, local high school, and local middle school) and they all love it!

 

If you don't mind actually sending her, you might consider it.

[Bluegoat]

I've had tis issue with dd12.  She is in ps this year, for totally different reasons, but she still complains about not enough time.  So in that sense, it's a toss up - I don't have to listen to it all day, but she does use school as an excuse for not getting on with other things.

 

I think age is a big part of it, and it does seem to be ramping down a bit.  My dd9 seems to be getting to a similar place, though.  So annoying.  To some extent, it may be just best to ignore it.

 

I don't think there is a need to be too sympathetic, though, at that age either.  I think kids should have a lot of free time, but OTOH, by that age many seem to do better with more responsibilities and some structure.  I kind of feel like they can start to feel entitled, as if somehow it is the job of their parents to afford them some kind of life of leisure. If I am running around for their activity, that is how they are using their free time.  They do not get out of family or school responsibilities.  Everybody needs to do those things.  Maybe we cancel the fun activity if they keep complaining. 

Edited March 16, 2017 by Bluegoat

[SparklyUnicorn]

btdt...I've threatened many times.  In fact I had to make it a point to stop threatening because I was getting ridiculous.

 

just saying...it's all normal I suspect 

[Closeacademy]

Does she need time to "recharge" her batteries so to speak each day? I know I do. I need to have at least an hour or two each day with no one else speaking to me to get alone inside my head and breathe. From the initial description she sounds like an introvert who needs that sort of thing. Is there anyway to give her at least 30 min a day to do that?

[displace]

I have noticed the same correlation but am uncertain of causation in my household. Are folks grumpy because of too much screen time or are they gravitating to screen time because they are not feeling well physically/mentally/emotionally?

 

I know that the second happens, I also think the first happens at least to some extent but it is harder to verify (that there wasn't some underlying grumpiness before the screen time happened).

For us, I think the increase screen time is a result of a less structured day or a change in schedule. As a direct result of screen time there is usually less activity and meaningful free time. It happens to me as well: if I watch non educational tv vs read a book or work on a productive hobby, I feel worse emotionally. I think spending free time doing something meaningful is important vs wasting free time on frivolous shows.

[SKL]

I agree that working in a regular break of maybe 30 minutes might help.  With my kids, I tell them that they can get a snack and do what they want from the time they get off the school bus until 5pm, unless we have something unusual going on.  That works out to be 30-45 minutes.  They are supposed to start their homework at 5pm.  At that point, I expect to hear no complaining, as they have had their chance to chill.  It seems to help.  There are still days when they can't have this break and they have to deal with it.  (Wait until they are moms and they have to wait 4 years for their next break, LOL.)

[SKL]

And yes, TV seems to be a negative factor here.  When my kids were younger, I was able to avoid having it turned on at all most days.  Now they are more independent and think they are entitled to watch TV if their "work" is done before bedtime.  It feels wrong to tell a 5th grader that she's not allowed to decide how to spend her free time.  Myself, I never watch it, as is a great big downer for me.

[RoundAbout]

Never use going to school as a threat. :-) Of course she doesn't understand what it would be like. And it's ok that she doesn't. Your homeschool is your homeschool, and that's all she needs to know. She doesn't need to know how life would be if she were in school.

 

It is possible that co-op is too much for her. That's a long day. It makes me tired just thinking about it. Five hours. Away from home. Doing school. :svengo:That she "likes it" does not mean that it isn't stressful for her, even if she cannot express it. Perhaps instead of homeschool gym, which I'm assuming is also during the day, she might like an evening community class of some kind, like a dance class, or skating, or even martial arts.

This is such brilliant advice! I don't think expecting tons of gratitude at this age is realistic, whether its for a nice home, great schooling, amount of free time, or other opportunities. This is the only life they know, so of course when they're not happy with something they are going to complain about it, whether it seems reasonable to us or not. I have had a similar problem at times and have been focusing entirely on expressing unhappiness in a polite way rather than expecting DS to really get that he has it pretty good. It's ok to not like something, but there's no excuse for rude or whiny behavior.

[mommyoffive]

I really did put mine into school for the second semester of fifth grade. It was a revelation to her. She lost hordes of free time, was bored to death in the classroom, and had to spend time after school on assignments like worksheets, a diorama, which she thought was ridiculous, and a science rap song, which she loathed.

 

She came home new and improved after that semester. She's in high school now, but I still threaten to assign her a diorama or a rap song if she's being a pain.

 

I love this!