Teenage boys - JAWM

[rose]

My ds13 has been driving me crazy lately. He's a good boy, not at all rebellious. It's just that his mind seems to be in another dimension. He'll be sitting right in front of me and I'll ask him something simple, like to please put the kettle on. Usually he won't register at all until I practically shout at him. This even happens when he's not particularly engrossed in something. Once he does register the request he'll happily agree to it but then swiftly forget what I've requested. I'll come back five minutes later and the kettle is still not on. I'll then ask him, rather frustratedly, why the kettle is not yet on and he'll look at me innocently and say, "I didn't know you wanted the kettle on." :glare:

 

Tell me your boys were all like this and then became functional human beings again.

[Anne in CA]

It happens. I remember all the threads over the years of kids this age who forget their math facts, their manners, and other assorted things you know you taught them. It does pass. I promise.

[Tenaj]

I have two adult sons and a 15 yods who are responsible and decent human beings and sailed through their early teens will little drama - well, one was a little dramatic  - but  now  I have my current 13yods.  The scene you described is repeated constantly at my house.  Here's an example from yesterday.  I have a crock pot that lives on a shelf in our basement when not in use.  It was sitting on my kitchen counter in my way so I carried out, set it on the dining room table in front of the 13yods and asked him to put it away in the basement.  He answers in the affirmative.  I leave to fold laundry, and walk back into the kitchen and there's the crock pot back on the counter.  So I carry it back out and repeat the process.  TWO MORE TIMES before the crock pot actually gets put away. I even watched him start down the basement stairs the second time!  How did it end up back upstairs?  I have no idea.    I am going to lose my mind!

 

It is constant, unrelenting and exhausting!

 

 

[Sharpie]

Glad to know my ds isn't alone in this!  Total spaced out and exactly like you described!  I hope it soon passes. :crying:

[Pink and Green Mom]

Oh do I remember 13.  I remember thinking that one of us wouldn't make it to his 14th birthday.  As far as I am concerned, 13 is dreadful. 

[rose]

I have two adult sons and a 15 yods who are responsible and decent human beings and sailed through their early teens will little drama - well, one was a little dramatic  - but  now  I have my current 13yods.  The scene you described is repeated constantly at my house.  Here's an example from yesterday.  I have a crock pot that lives on a shelf in our basement when not in use.  It was sitting on my kitchen counter in my way so I carried out, set it on the dining room table in front of the 13yods and asked him to put it away in the basement.  He answers in the affirmative.  I leave to fold laundry, and walk back into the kitchen and there's the crock pot back on the counter.  So I carry it back out and repeat the process.  TWO MORE TIMES before the crock pot actually gets put away. I even watched him start down the basement stairs the second time!  How did it end up back upstairs?  I have no idea.    I am going to lose my mind!

 

It is constant, unrelenting and exhausting!

 

This is too funny. I can totally sympathize! :D

 

[SebastianCat]

Yup. I will sometimes ask my 14 yo Ds to repeat what I just asked when he gets like that. He's almost 15 and it hasn't passed yet.

[regentrude]

It gets better in a few years.

18 is vastly better than 15.

[scrapbookbuzz]

Glad to have a heads up as my boy will be thir-  thir -  that number they are when they first become a teen, in July.

Haven't yet  accepted it's bound to happen!

[elegantlion]

Yes, 13 is like toddlerhood, you have to go back to one step instructions, make sure they do it, praise or encourage, repeat with next step. It gets better.

[Denise in IN]

12-13-14 year old boys live in another world.  oy vey.  I'm on my third one now, at least I expected it this time!   :lol:

 

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

Well I was pretty excited when I noticed my 15 year old put his plate in the dishwasher.  LIKE WOW he did this without being told.  Until he then forgot to close the dishwasher.  I didn't say a word wondering if he'd finally do it.  Nope.  He left and didn't realize it.  *sigh*

 

 

[Tree Frog]

I have a ds 15 who still does this. He even argues with me about whether I really told him to do whatever. Argued even if the rest of the family heard what I said. It's very frustrating, but there are moments when he responds and actually does what I asked him to. So maybe he's finally getting back to normal!

[Jennay]

I have two boys, 13 months apart. They are currently 13 and 14. Oi!

[foxbridgeacademy]

Mine are like that, including DH so I'm not sure it gets better.  DH even does the uh huh, head nodding thing, but is literally not hearing a word I'm saying.

[gardenmom5]

Dudeling did a teen thing in front of 1ds the other day. 1ds thought it was hilarious. . .glare

[HSmomof2]

My ds13 has been driving me crazy lately. He's a good boy, not at all rebellious. It's just that his mind seems to be in another dimension. He'll be sitting right in front of me and I'll ask him something simple, like to please put the kettle on. Usually he won't register at all until I practically shout at him. This even happens when he's not particularly engrossed in something. Once he does register the request he'll happily agree to it but then swiftly forget what I've requested. I'll come back five minutes later and the kettle is still not on. I'll then ask him, rather frustratedly, why the kettle is not yet on and he'll look at me innocently and say, "I didn't know you wanted the kettle on." :glare:

 

Tell me your boys were all like this and then became functional human beings again.

Mine is 14 and just like this.....he's generally very likeable, friendly, and cooperative, but yeah, the absentmindedness can drive me crazy. 🙂

[Cottonwood]

O..M...G....  I have one of those.  He just turned 14 and the fog that I can almost see that surrounds him is thick thick thick!  Sometimes I feel pretty bad for him although we stay super frustrated with him.  On the days when this foggy stuff isn't so bad, he does REALLy good.  

Edited August 9, 2021 by Cottonwood

[JumpyTheFrog]

Do already forgetful, absentminded, ADHD-like kids get worse at this age? Or will I be okay because I've spent so many years with a son already like this?

[rose]

 

Do already forgetful, absentminded, ADHD-like kids get worse at this age? Or will I be okay because I've spent so many years with a son already like this?

 

 

I'm pretty sure you're doomed. Just give up now. The worst is yet to come. (cue deep ominous music now...)

[KungFuPanda]

This is how boys get their periods.  They just get real flakey around 13-14.  It's a thing.

[hopskipjump]

I could've written your post, OP! 😂 Oh dear. DS isn't argumentative or rebellious in the slightest - he often looks genuinely surprised when I ask why such-and-such isn't done already! It's like it's the first time he's heard it (even when it's the 4th!)

 

He forgets things at home, leaves things in odd places, ... ...

 

Like elegant lion said - it's like toddlerhood all over again!! 😂

 

I know other boys who've grown into young men before my eyes and they went through this exact 2-3 year long phase. They're all quite respectable young men now, so I have hope for ds that he won't be this absent-minded forever. 🙄😄

Edited February 11, 2017 by hopskipjump

[scoutingmom]

My 13yo does this a bit.... But anyone else have a 13yo son that gets whiney or flustered? Is that another symptom? He tries to do something his way (incorrect), and he gets whiney (I know what to do) or all clustered and upset because he doesn't know what we want.....

 

Example.... yes son, in your RightStart Geometry course, when you are supposed to draw the polygon with the drawing tools and correctly measured... I actually expect you to use the drawing tools and measure, not just free-hand it....

 

And horrible if Dad and him to, say, hang up his coat and I am him to, on the way, close the door....

 

Sent from my SM-T530NU using Tapatalk

[Katy]

Yes, it's typical, we just have them repeat what we want them to do three times.  Out loud.

[Just Kate]

Well I was pretty excited when I noticed my 15 year old put his plate in the dishwasher. LIKE WOW he did this without being told. Until he then forgot to close the dishwasher. I didn't say a word wondering if he'd finally do it. Nope. He left and didn't realize it. *sigh*

This is what baffles me with my 12yo (13 next months - yikes!). I will say "put your dishes in the dishwasher." So he puts his plate and cup in the sink. I will call him over to look and he just stands there looking at his plate in the sink like he has no idea what I'm talking about. We've done this many, many times.

[SquirrellyMama]

I also have a 13 year old ds. I feel your pain ((hugs))

[Cottonwood]

I forgot to add....we gave DS a little notebook.  If we don't want him fogging up and forgetting, we tell him to write it down as soon as we tell him.   then he is to go do it.  If we find him wandering (my son will literally be walking in circles around the island in the kitchen LOL) or elsewhere or find it undone, we ask him to go get his notebook.  It saves us from being exasperated AGAIN and saves him from being so frustrated with himself.  Because even tho we fuss at him when he doesn't do what he's been asked to, or it seems like he's choosing to ignore us, many times he is as frustrated with himself as we are and this way, it's more of a gentle reminder.  

 

 

[bethben]

Yesterday, I asked my 16 year old to put away the ladder that was sitting next to the back door.  He said sure.  He walked past the thing (it's a 6 ft ladder) and promptly went outside to do something sporty outside.  It's BRIGHT GREEN!!!!  He also brings a large assortment of plates containing all the food in the house (it seems) to his bedroom to eat while he does school work.  I've asked him to take them down.  Nope.  I've asked again.  Nope.  I've put them in the middle of his doorway.  Nope.  It is getting better but his little brother is starting the fog.  

[umsami]

Everybody tells me that 13-15 is the toughest with boys.  Mine started a little early at 12, so I'm really hoping he'll end this at 14.  Knowing my luck, it will go to 17. ;)

 

It doesn't help that his brother is two years younger, so that if he miraculously makes it out at 15, I'll have a newly minted 13 year old to take his place.  

 

Argh.

 

 

[BigMamaBird]

Oh goodness.  This is terrifying.

 

My 8 year old ds is the same way.  I was hoping he'd grow out of it sooner rather than later.  But if your son is 13 and is still is La-la Land I have no hope.