Starr Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debinindy Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 What a painful and difficult situation! I wish I could offer more than just a hug and support. :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplejackmama Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 I'm sorry. I have no words. Praying for your family. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 I'm so sorry. :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 My heart breaks for you and so many families who are dealing with mental illness. It is such a tough journey. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted December 6, 2016 Author Share Posted December 6, 2016 Thank you all. I've spent the day tending to my 3 at home and trying to ignore the fact she hasn't even called to ask for clothes. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted December 6, 2016 Author Share Posted December 6, 2016 I'm sorry. But as someone has had three week long visits to the psych ward, there are a LOT of people who come in brought by police and mad about there, and most of them get over the anger and improve a lot. That sort of situation happens all the time. It will probably be longer than 72 hours. She just has that long to see the judge.This does help. Thank you. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 (hugs) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnE-girl Posted December 7, 2016 Share Posted December 7, 2016 I'm so sorry. Praying for your daughter and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted December 7, 2016 Share Posted December 7, 2016 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted December 7, 2016 Share Posted December 7, 2016 I would take her stuff even if she isn't asking. Clothes (no drawstrings or metal), favorite soap and shampoo in labeled bottle to indicate no alcohol, toothbrush and paste, hair brush, deodorant, crayons or markers and book, books to read, etc. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schadenfreude Posted December 7, 2016 Share Posted December 7, 2016 :grouphug: You should check into getting guardianship if she refuses necessary help. I am so sorry that your family has to deal with this. :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted December 7, 2016 Share Posted December 7, 2016 I don't have much more advice to offer other than what you have already received. We have walked a similar path, only we are dealing with a possible schizo-affective disorder in addition to gender dysphoria and depression, so reality is not reality here. So far, K is stable and taking meds, but we have had many scary moments. Praying for you. We, too, do not have a HIIPA release so we can't get any info that our child doesn't choose to share (which is pretty much nothing.) Praying for you to get past this crisis and on to healing. Keep talking to the NAMI people to see what resources are available to you. Dh and I just finished their Family to Family course and found it very helpful. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted December 7, 2016 Author Share Posted December 7, 2016 I don't have much more advice to offer other than what you have already received. We have walked a similar path, only we are dealing with a possible schizo-affective disorder in addition to gender dysphoria and depression, so reality is not reality here. So far, K is stable and taking meds, but we have had many scary moments. Praying for you. We, too, do not have a HIIPA release so we can't get any info that our child doesn't choose to share (which is pretty much nothing.) Praying for you to get past this crisis and on to healing. Keep talking to the NAMI people to see what resources are available to you. Dh and I just finished their Family to Family course and found it very helpful. Thank you. I will pray for you also. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted December 7, 2016 Author Share Posted December 7, 2016 I would take her stuff even if she isn't asking. Clothes (no drawstrings or metal), favorite soap and shampoo in labeled bottle to indicate no alcohol, toothbrush and paste, hair brush, deodorant, crayons or markers and book, books to read, etc.I will. I didn't know if it was a good idea if she hadn't asked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted December 7, 2016 Author Share Posted December 7, 2016 Thank you all. I am a praying woman and believe in " good vibes" so your comments make a difference to me. Today my dh will leave her a message and I will drop off clothes and books. And I will breathe. I am going to try to take my youngest two to buy a tree and cocoa we can put up this weekend. And I'm betting I will cry. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted December 7, 2016 Share Posted December 7, 2016 I understand completely. :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in Appalachia Posted December 7, 2016 Share Posted December 7, 2016 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :crying: I jumped on here today just to see how you were doing. I'm so sorry. I've been praying for your family and I hope they are able to get the meds straightened out. Mental illness sucks. There is so little help available, not enough doctors or good programs and insurance doesn't really cover it all. It's so hard, and even after she does even out there is that constant fear that it will all fall apart. Do keep reaching out. Even if she won't see you should try and make contact. She as well as the staff at the hospital need to know you are active in her recovery. :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted December 8, 2016 Author Share Posted December 8, 2016 So after not speaking she suddenly "brightened up", took a med and told psych he could call me. I think she knows who the gatekeeper is. The psych is stumped. She doesn't have enough features of anything to diagnose. She has stumped all the psychiatrists there. They put her on zyprexa because it helps with bi-polar, psychoses and schizophrenia. Not really comforting. She will be released tomorrow morning unless he can persuade her to sign herself in. If we get a judge involved to keep her there the state will take over her care, ship her where they choose and we have no say. The psych feels that is not her best interest . I'm sick to my stomach and know she is smart enough to day what she needs to in order to get out. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlessedMom Posted December 8, 2016 Share Posted December 8, 2016 ((((((((Hugs)))))))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted December 8, 2016 Share Posted December 8, 2016 (hugs) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mominco Posted December 8, 2016 Share Posted December 8, 2016 :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted December 9, 2016 Share Posted December 9, 2016 :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lollie010 Posted December 9, 2016 Share Posted December 9, 2016 I am so sorry you all are going through such a difficult time. My thoughts are with you! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted December 9, 2016 Author Share Posted December 9, 2016 She agreed to stay until Sunday of her own volition! Of course she could change her mind but I'll take any progress. Her big worry seems to be getting back to school. I almost wish she didn't care. At any rate, I'm glad for a little glimmer of admission that things might not be fine with her. Thank you all again for "listening". If you are praying please continue. I am in your debt. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
East Coast Sue Posted December 9, 2016 Share Posted December 9, 2016 That's a step in the right direction! Will continue to pray. (((Hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted December 9, 2016 Share Posted December 9, 2016 (more hugs) and prayers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted December 9, 2016 Share Posted December 9, 2016 hugs - it is so hard! So very hard!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted December 9, 2016 Share Posted December 9, 2016 more (hugs) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted December 9, 2016 Author Share Posted December 9, 2016 The merry-go-round spins faster. The psychiatrist thought she was doing so well we had a phone conference. She immediately became angry with me. She does nit want her dad or I to love her. We should quit caring. She wants to come home today. I said it sounds like she wants a hotel with no cost and she said yes, that's it. I asked what she would do if I don't pick her up and she said live in her friend's car. The psych tried to talk to her and she said she was done and left. I can't keep up. She shocked the doctor so imagine how I feel. Please tell me I'm not a horrible, horrible mother for not wanting her in my house right niw. My younger 3 are all worrying. I'm calling a counselor for them this afternoon. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted December 9, 2016 Share Posted December 9, 2016 The merry-go-round spins faster. The psychiatrist thought she was doing so well we had a phone conference. She immediately became angry with me. She does nit want her dad or I to love her. We should quit caring. She wants to come home today. I said it sounds like she wants a hotel with no cost and she said yes, that's it. I asked what she would do if I don't pick her up and she said live in her friend's car. The psych tried to talk to her and she said she was done and left. I can't keep up. She shocked the doctor so imagine how I feel. Please tell me I'm not a horrible, horrible mother for not wanting her in my house right niw. My younger 3 are all worrying. I'm calling a counselor for them this afternoon. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk you're not a horrible mother. :grouphug: She shouldn't be home because she needs care & to get her mood stabilized. The silver lining to this is that the psychiatrist had a chance to observe her erratic and sudden mood swing & bhvr. This may help them with a diagnosis & hopefully will make sure she continues to be hospitalized. Good idea to get your younger ones in to see a counsellor. It's scary knowing a loved one is so sick & one of the big worries many siblings have is "will it happen to me". Hang in there. Keep breathing. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted December 9, 2016 Share Posted December 9, 2016 You are not a terrible mother. You have been put in an impossibly hard, heartbreaking position. I think you are making the only choice you can, it just stinks because sometimes there are no good choices. (hugs for your whole family) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted December 9, 2016 Share Posted December 9, 2016 (edited) It might help to think of your dd's words and actions at this point as NOT belonging to your daughter; they are the words and actions of a mental illness. Your daughter's brain is not functioning, and pieces of herself--her personality, her perceptions, her past are not accessible to her. It is not she who is rejecting your love, your counsel, etc.; it is an irrational disease that is doing that. Your real daughter is still there, once the stranglehold of the illness can be broken to set her free. Many hugs. Edited December 10, 2016 by maize 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valley Girl Posted December 9, 2016 Share Posted December 9, 2016 You are NOT a terrible mother. You have done everything you can at this point for your DD. Right now you are doing everything you can continue to do for her at this point. What you cannot do (though you desperately want to) is "fix" her. She needs the professionals for that. You are putting your attention on what you CAN do and that is caring for your other kiddos right now. Just because DD is so ill does not mean that others in the family stop having needs that must be met. You're wisely and lovingly doing that. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. It is hard to feel so helpless. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 (((joyofsix))) Praying for your daughter and for your family ~ Anne 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debinindy Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 Oh, goodness, I am so sorry this is so terribly difficult. :grouphug: :grouphug: to you and your family. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
East Coast Sue Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 You are a loving & wise mom with an ill daughter. I commend you for finding help for your younger kids and being firmly committed to helping your oldest dd get the care she desperately needs. You're absolutely doing an amazing job as a parent! (((Hugs))) 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minerva Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swimmermom3 Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 This can really be a time of growth for your dd, once she gets the right meds/psych support. I found it really helpful to approach it mentally in that way; seeing this as a difficult struggle dd was undertaking, that would lead to growth. When I focused on wanting things back the way they were, it became a lot harder to stay positive. That's just me, and might not be you. But just wanted to share a kind of reframing that really helped me deal. Sadie, the part in bold is so important. When you first start down this road you think in terms of weeks or months. When it becomes years, it can be hard as the parent to not grow angry at times. There I've said it. Your emphasis on growth is good. My dd is not the same person now that she was when it all started and accepting that has been helpful. Hard, but helpful. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swimmermom3 Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 No triggering event. The psychiatrist at the hospital was stumped. Straight A's, no drugs, no friend problems, no deaths....he decided it is just brain chemistry possible made worse by Zoloft. Her continuity of care scares me. Once out of the hospital they are done with her. See your family doc was the advice. She has a counseling appointment with a psychologist Monday. It seems so disconnected. I'm trying to find a psychiatrist but they are over 50 miles away with a long wait to be seen. Lisa, is there an outpatient program available? We have been through this three times with two children. A good outpatient program after hospitalization can really turn things around. They usually last a couple of weeks and are structured so the patient is there for 6 or so hours a day, but home at night. It gives the patient structure, one on one counseling, and group counseling. There is a significant emphasis on skill building and self care. The three week time frame allows the patient to adjust to their medication under supervision. Many psych meds work well for adults, but can often have nearly a reverse reaction in young adults. It's important that you be your dd's advocate. At one point we had one of the better psychiatrists in our area prescribing Wellbutrin for our dd in ever higher doses and it was pretty darn obvious that it was ramping up her anxiety exponentially. Psychiatric nurse practitioners can be an excellent option for handling the prescription end of things, while your dd works steadily with a trained counselor. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
displace Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 Praying for your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted December 10, 2016 Author Share Posted December 10, 2016 (edited) I will make this my last post as things are on an obvious downward spiral. I just need to vent one more time. They did an MRI yesterday to rule out a physical cause. She has the team stumped. No family history, no evidence of drug use, great grades, popular, absolutely no trouble with the law but getting steadily worse. She consented to see me last evening but became verbally and physically abusive. Was then verbally abusive to her psychiatrist. She refused her meds. She says she is going to sign out AMA and find a homeless shelter. Or just sleep outside. It is 20 degrees and she has no coat. The doctor feels we will have to put her into a long term facility against her will. From late September to now seems like such a fast descent and it really feels like a death. Please continue to pray. I don't know how I will get through removing her from school and returning her gear, telling family and friends and keeping life tolerable for her siblings. This is a small community with a giant gossip mill. It will be hard for them. Edited December 10, 2016 by joyofsix Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnE-girl Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 I'm so sorry. I will continue to keep your daughter and family in my prayers. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 joyofsix - I'm thinking of you. :grouphug: I think there are some psychiatric conditions which have to be present for a long time before a diagnosis can be officially made and I'm wondering if that's where her drs are. Sounds like her team is giving her the best care possible and trying to keep her safe. You will get through this. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
East Coast Sue Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 (((Hugs))) and prayers. Those of us with kids who struggle with mental health issues are here for you. The pain this is causing all of you is intense. I understand the feeling of grief and mourning the loss of the child as you knew her. I'm so, so sorry you and all your kids are going through this. Most of all, I will pray for healing of your dd- Full and complete healing. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
school17777 Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 (((Hugs))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
displace Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 :( I'm so sorry 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 If she is 18, do they have suggestions for getting her to agree to the treatment center? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 (hugs) I'm so sorry you are all going through this. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted December 10, 2016 Author Share Posted December 10, 2016 (edited) If she is 18, do they have suggestions for getting her to agree to the treatment center?Right now her plan is to be homeless. I'm not sure about her agreeing. She wants to die on 4/3/2017 and is not on board with anyone stopping her. It may be that we have to have her retained by a judge. The psychiatrist is working on it. She can't walk the streets of a city with no coat or place to go. That's not what I want to do but my hand see tied. At this point she is refusing to take meds or talk. She is very, very angry but other than blaming me for her hospitalization she won't discuss it. Edited December 10, 2016 by joyofsix Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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