If your middle schooler left campus to protest WWYD

[Arcadia]

Middle school kids following their class out the door may not be thinking ahead to "hmm, exactly how far are we walking and will I know how to get back if I get separated from my group?" Not every kid even really knows what a "protest" is. Or what can happen if a crowd gets panicked or rowdy.

My friends with public middle school kids are giving them cellphones and discussions on being street smart if their schools decide to host a protest. They drive their kids everywhere so there was no need for a cellphone until now. Kids have seen local riots and freeways being blocked on evening news. They rather do a walk out on school time with police escorts.

My friends with middle school kids in public charter or private schools already carry cellphones at all times because they are used to calling their parents for a ride home.

[LucyStoner]

An excuse to get out of class?  What a way to stereotype near teens and teens.  Fortunately, most of the kids I know defy that stereotype.  

 

Certainly kids don't have to protest if they choose not to for whatever reason and they shouldn't be pressure to join the crowd.  That works both ways though in my book.  My son is too serious to just skive off to skive off (he attends some form of group class 6 days a week at this point, on his own initiative.) 

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

Protests by students 5+ years below the minimum voting age are going to be ignored by those in power regardless, so they might as well do it while school is not in session.

 

If these students actually want their efforts to make a difference in our society, they need to be volunteering for some good cause, not cutting class and waving signs. That accomplishes bupkiss.

 

Concerned about the treatment of immigrants? Volunteer to help out local refugee settlement agencies.

 

Concerned about misogyny? Volunteer for your local rape crisis hotline or domestic violence shelter.

 

Etc., etc.

 

I disagree.

 

I do think large numbers of kids speaking out will be heard.

 

Are there multiple ways to help? Yes.

 

But peaceful protesting is effective, and not meant to be convenient to others.

[Guest]

I want to know where all these super mature, politically savvy 12 year olds are. All the 12yo's I know are still playing with Barbies and Nerf guns and complaining about having to empty the dishwasher.

[whitestavern]

I disagree.

 

I do think large numbers of kids speaking out will be heard.

 

Are there multiple ways to help? Yes.

 

But peaceful protesting is effective, and not meant to be convenient to others.

 

Okay, so they are heard. But what does that DO? It won't DO anything. How can it be effective? I'm kind of on a media vacation, but I'm assuming these are protests about the election. Is peacefully protesting going to get Donald Trump out of the WH? I feel like I'm missing something. Is it just to let people know how they feel? Hasn't that been accomplished? Everyone already knows that. Really in any election, give or take, half of the country is unhappy. I'm genuinely confused so please don't attack me :)

[Bluegoat]

Okay, so they are heard. But what does that DO? It won't DO anything. How can it be effective? I'm kind of on a media vacation, but I'm assuming these are protests about the election. Is peacefully protesting going to get Donald Trump out of the WH? I feel like I'm missing something. Is it just to let people know how they feel? Hasn't that been accomplished? Everyone already knows that. Really in any election, give or take, half of the country is unhappy. I'm genuinely confused so please don't attack me :)

 

This is really about the effectivness of protesting generally, I think.

 

I think it is probably less useful in some ways than it used to be.

 

But, kids protesting about climate change actually mkes a fair bit of sense IMO.  They are going to have to live with the results in a way many adults won't.

[bibiche]

Okay, so they are heard. But what does that DO? It won't DO anything. How can it be effective? I'm kind of on a media vacation, but I'm assuming these are protests about the election. Is peacefully protesting going to get Donald Trump out of the WH? I feel like I'm missing something. Is it just to let people know how they feel? Hasn't that been accomplished? Everyone already knows that. Really in any election, give or take, half of the country is unhappy. I'm genuinely confused so please don't attack me :)

I think that is a very simplistic view of the situation and you might want to take a look at the news, if only out of a sense of civic responsibility.

 

In large part, I believe the protests are more in solidarity with minorities who are being and will continue to be targeted.  It is much more than "half of the country is unhappy."  And that's as far as I am going with that.  

[Murphy101]

Interestingly, youths were often on the front lines during the civil rights era. They can be very effective advocates for change. Out of the mouths of babes and all that.

Most made an effort to make their protest have meaning beyond protesting bc they want to join the protesters as their goal.

 

Protesting segregated schools for example would be a perfect example of when students walking out of class in or to protest makes perfect sense and is likely to make a difference and impact. Clear goal of what they want to change and related to how they are protesting.

 

Leaving school to go protest something unrelated to their school holds little value to me and is unlikely to illicit more than an annoyed eyeroll.

Edited November 16, 2016 by Murphy101

[kroe1]

Sorry, I did not read the other posts.

 

I would make her type a 10 page essay on what happens when protesters block an ambulance. Then she would do community service at the local emergency room for at least a year.

[Guest]

I want to know where all these super mature, politically savvy 12 year olds are. All the 12yo's I know are still playing with Barbies and Nerf guns and complaining about having to empty the dishwasher.

They're the ones who want an excuse to not be at school :lol:

 

The whole thing is so ridiculous.

[foxbridgeacademy]

I'm overprotective I guess. I firmly believe in a person's right to protest and support my kids values 100% but I have to temper that with "are they safe" concerns.  DD 13 was not allowed to go to the Nashville Pride parade this year.  There had been threats and I was concerned, we're in a new city and I don't know the "vibe" yet.  I think we'll consider it more fully next year but we'll be going with her.

 

I would probably be a bit upset at the school if they didn't notify me or at least give my kid a way to notify me, no matter what the reason. I be upset if my kid didn't call to make sure it was okay with me.  I'm sure one of her friends has a cell phone (she always lets me know or she knows she can't go, this has never been an issue).

 

As for the actual protest I would be very supportive of my kid going but would probably arrange to be in the vicinity should she need me.

 

*ETA: I think protesting is not only valuable socially, to bring about change, but also individually.  Even if nothing changes the protester (especially the bright eyed youths) feel that they DID SOMETHING. It bolsters their confidence and makes them feel a part of a greater good.  So while protesting the current political miasmas may not bring about any actual change I think for my kids it is a huge boost to their internal strength.... not sure how to express this better, but protesting makes them stronger and will hopefully help them stand up in the future to make the changes that need to be made. 

Edited November 16, 2016 by foxbridgeacademy

[Sneezyone]

I want to know where all these super mature, politically savvy 12 year olds are. All the 12yo's I know are still playing with Barbies and Nerf guns and complaining about having to empty the dishwasher.

 

Yeah, my 12yo is definitely NOT playing with barbies and Nerf guns. She's actually come to me, my son as well, with very probing questions. DS used to curl up with my mom and watch cable news all the time. My kids are more politically savvy than MANY, MANY adults. ETA: She also hates to unload the dishwasher. The two are not mutually exclusive.

Edited November 16, 2016 by Sneezyone

[Sneezyone]

Most made an effort to make their protest have meaning beyond protesting bc they want to join the protesters as their goal.

 

Protesting segregated schools for example would be a perfect example of when students walking out of class in or to protest makes perfect sense and is likely to make a difference and impact. Clear goal of what they want to change and related to how they are protesting.

 

Leaving school to go protest something unrelated to their school holds little value to me and is unlikely to illicit more than an annoyed eyeroll.

 

They weren't just protesting segregated schools. They were protesting against multiple forms of injustice. They were effective messengers because of their perceived innocence. Beating up on them, as now, is bad politics.

[LMD]

For me, it's not so much the protest I would take issue with. If my 11 year old was at grandmas and left, for any reason, I'd expect a phone call too.

And no, my 11 year old is not mature enough even for a mobile phone. It's quite possible that I'm doing this parenting stuff all rong though. Eta- she's not playing barbies either but she did spend a couple of hours playing sylvanian families with a same age friend. I Don't think she needs to rush into political activism before she's even a teenager, and I really don't think that's unusual. Granted, these boards are probably over represented by mature, politically savvy children.

Edited November 16, 2016 by LMD

[Tanaqui]

Yeah, my 12yo is definitely NOT playing with barbies and Nerf guns. She's actually come to me, my son as well, with very probing questions. DS used to curl up with my mom and watch cable news all the time. My kids are more politically savvy than MANY, MANY adults. ETA: She also hates to unload the dishwasher. The two are not mutually exclusive.

 

None of this is mutually exclusive. I mean, I play with toys, and complain (loudly!) about having to do the laundry. (Don't have a dishwasher.) Your attitude towards toys or make-believe has nothing to do with your attitude towards politics and current events. Neither of those things is connected to your attitude towards chores. And from the pre-teens on, all these things are only marginally connected to your actual age. (Especially during adolescence. They vary so much!)

 

I don't think she needs to rush into political activism before she's even a teenager, and I really don't think that's unusual.

 

I don't think of it as rushing into political activism. I consider it an outgrowth of my setting an example with my behavior and our continuing discussions on issues like morality and current events. (And the kids definitely don't share all my opinions on those fronts!)

 

Don't most people discuss their views with their kids?

Edited November 16, 2016 by Tanaqui

[Guest]

.

Edited November 16, 2016 by Kinsa

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I want to know where all these super mature, politically savvy 12 year olds are. All the 12yo's I know are still playing with Barbies and Nerf guns and complaining about having to empty the dishwasher.

 

And this is the main reason we homeschool, because my 12yo was literally playing Nerf guns in the backyard 20 minutes ago, yet is also talking about civics, philosophy, and religion with his big brother right this minute. He can BE and DO both, because he's 12.

 

My underlying presupposition for this whole conversation is that I can imagine my 12yo being interested in politics, but I can't imagine him submitting to the banality of the typical American middle school day when there's something (anything) more interesting going on. In other words, I can picture him at the rally but I can't picture him in the school.

[LucyStoner]

I want to know where all these super mature, politically savvy 12 year olds are. All the 12yo's I know are still playing with Barbies and Nerf guns and complaining about having to empty the dishwasher.

That is your experience and observation. It is not my experience and observation. In my experience there are kids still playing with barbies at 14 and there are kids giving up their Friday evenings to plan an enviromental volunteer event. Or both. Or neither. Adolescents are as diverse in their range of interests and maturity levels as adults are. Humans are human.

Edited November 16, 2016 by LucyStoner

[luuknam]

I read the first page and then searched for Plateau Mama's posts, and I'm still unclear on the circumstances. Where I'm from, kids walk or bicycle to/from school in the morning, afternoon, and often for lunch time starting at 6yo. In secondary school (7th-12th grade) they can leave campus if they don't have class during a certain period. That said, schools don't just let kids go to protests without their parents' permission - if they happen to go to a protest during a free period, then that's different, but if they were supposed to be in class, they don't get that time excused because there is some protest. It's happened that students were excused to go to a protest during class time (which, fwiw, was a protest about a change in education law), but iirc they needed parental permission (or, at least the parents were notified ahead of time). Obviously, it's trivially easy for secondary age kids to just leave during the school day to go to a protest, but that's no different from leaving for any other kind of truancy.

 

Personally, I'd be upset if the school gave a middle school age kid an excused absence to go to a protest without teacher supervision and without parental consent. Actually, I'd be upset if it was a high school age kid too. If the kid just up and left and got an unexcused absence as a result, meh... I would not be happy with my kid, but as far as the school's role it'd be similar to other kinds of truancy. Unless they were encouraging kids to take an unexcused absence to go protest, but that'd be really weird.

[LucyStoner]

They're the ones who want an excuse to not be at school :lol:

 

The whole thing is so ridiculous.

Perhaps your expectations for kids are too low.

 

My son might or might not walk out to protest but if he did I know for flipping certain he would not be just doing it to get out of school. I personally know that he is not alone among his peers.

Edited November 16, 2016 by LucyStoner

[Bluegoat]

I don't see it as a problem if some kids aren't interested in politics.  I would tend to think those ones won't be all that interested in going to a protest.

[LucyStoner]

I don't see it as a problem if some kids aren't interested in politics. I would tend to think those ones won't be all that interested in going to a protest.

I agree.

 

I also don't see it as a problem that some kids are interested in politics or activism. I'm not sure why, on a homeschooling board no less, people feel the need to so stridently dismiss that there are kids who are very interested in political and social issues. My comment about expectations is the low expectations about students in general apparently having so little self motivation for their education that they would be looking for any excuse to leave class. I know there are kids like that but I don't buy it about all kids.

 

ETA- if kids do want any and all excuse to leave class maybe the problem rests with the class and not the kid.

Edited November 17, 2016 by LucyStoner

[Farrar]

I was specifically talking about the city where the protests occurred.

 

My district provides school busses but the neighboring district doesn't. I see very few kids riding the bus there but it an affluent area so parents tend to drive their kids everywhere.

 

Perhaps you're unaware... there have been large student walkout protests in several cities, including yesterday thousands of kids in DC.

[LucyStoner]

Yeah, my 12yo is definitely NOT playing with barbies and Nerf guns. She's actually come to me, my son as well, with very probing questions. DS used to curl up with my mom and watch cable news all the time. My kids are more politically savvy than MANY, MANY adults. ETA: She also hates to unload the dishwasher. The two are not mutually exclusive.

+100

[Farrar]

I'll add... some of the charters had the teachers walk out and escort the kids at the protests here in DC yesterday. I thought that was interesting. I'm sure some people will really get up in arms about it though.

[SKL]

People seem to be assuming the kids have a real choice here re whether they actually want to protest whatever this protest is about.  In practice, opting out is probably hard to do if the teachers are encouraging it and/or the majority of kids are participating.

[LMD]

None of this is mutually exclusive. I mean, I play with toys, and complain (loudly!) about having to do the laundry. (Don't have a dishwasher.) Your attitude towards toys or make-believe has nothing to do with your attitude towards politics and current events. Neither of those things is connected to your attitude towards chores. And from the pre-teens on, all these things are only marginally connected to your actual age. (Especially during adolescence. They vary so much!)

 

 

I don't think of it as rushing into political activism. I consider it an outgrowth of my setting an example with my behavior and our continuing discussions on issues like morality and current events. (And the kids definitely don't share all my opinions on those fronts!)

 

Don't most people discuss their views with their kids?

Going to a protest - at 11/12/13 and without letting a parent know about it - is an action, an activity that I would class as activism.

 

A far cry from not discussing current affairs. And I think that's an unfair suggestion.

[MotherGoose]

I want to know where all these super mature, politically savvy 12 year olds are. All the 12yo's I know are still playing with Barbies and Nerf guns and complaining about having to empty the dishwasher.

And that's what they should be doing. They should be able understand kind/ unkind actions, and have an awareness of "everyone is not like you" but I don't want my young children to feel they need to take on adult problems. I'm for preserving childhood for those children fortunate enough to not have to deal with social/ cultural problems on a personal level. I'm very sorry for those who cannot avoid exposure to it because of societal influences.

[LMD]

I agree.

 

I also don't see it as a problem that some kids are interested in politics or activism. I'm not sure why, on a homeschooling board no less, people feel the need to so stridently dismiss that there are kids who are very interested in political and social issues. My comment about expectations is the low expectations about students in general apparently having so little self motivation for their education that they would be looking for any excuse to leave class. I know there are kids like that but I don't buy it about all kids.

 

ETA- if kids do want any and all excuse to leave class maybe the problem rests with the class and not the kid.

I don't have a problem with my, or any, kid being involved in politics or activism.

 

I have a problem with preteens being somewhere and their guardians having no idea.

 

Take away the protest idea.

 

You're away for the weekend, your 11/12 year old is being looked after by a grandparent, and they have homework assignments to complete.

Said child walks out of the grandparents house because they decide that their passion is with the local music festival, you all enjoy this genre at home and kid plays a pretty mean chord progression at home. Some older kids invited them and most of their friends are going. Neither the child or grandparent calls you, you have no idea until the news report showing youngsters enjoying the mosh pit and your kid's face.

Fine?

[LucyStoner]

I don't have a problem with my, or any, kid being involved in politics or activism.

 

I have a problem with preteens being somewhere and their guardians having no idea.

 

Take away the protest idea.

 

You're away for the weekend, your 11/12 year old is being looked after by a grandparent, and they have homework assignments to complete.

Said child walks out of the grandparents house because they decide that their passion is with the local music festival, you all enjoy this genre at home and kid plays a pretty mean chord progression at home. Some older kids invited them and most of their friends are going. Neither the child or grandparent calls you, you have no idea until the news report showing youngsters enjoying the mosh pit and your kid's face.

Fine?

I would not be fine with not knowing where my 11-12 yo kid was. 13-14 it's a little less problematic for me provided they are home at the agreed time and were not engaged in something dangerous. No, I don't consider student walk outs to be dangerous where I am located, though I grant that they can be in some places and that my sense of his safety is partially a matter of white privilege.

 

That said, I was addressing the issue of people being dismissive that any kid would leave class for any other reason than to get out of class. The thread and evolved a bit from the original question, I think.

 

Frankly my son would under no circumstances not communicate to me via phone about changes in his plan. He knows what is expected and not and would certainly fulfill the expectation to stay in touch about big changes at this point in his development (I suppose that may change, lol). Heck as of now he contacts me about small changes like "I'm stopping at the store" when I really don't expect him too. I would not send him to school on the bus in this day and age with his personality without a LoJack, er, um phone. 😂

 

My opinion is probably influenced by the fact that I do have a really politically motivated child and that he's 13, not 11 and quite used to riding the bus. His big decision right now is does he go to a specialized high school, continue to homeschool PT or FT or does he start a college program next year. So I will admit to having a fairly mature child as my main point of reference. Today someone asked if he had an XBox and when he said no asked what he did at home. He said, in this order, "schoolwork, make stuff on my computer, play with my brother and read." He does have a video game system, it's just not something he spends a lot of time on by his own choosing.

 

ETA- his lack of regular interest in video games doesn't make him better or worse than that other child who asked him. It just makes him different.

Edited November 17, 2016 by LucyStoner

[LucyStoner]

And that's what they should be doing. They should be able understand kind/ unkind actions, and have an awareness of "everyone is not like you" but I don't want my young children to feel they need to take on adult problems. I'm for preserving childhood for those children fortunate enough to not have to deal with social/ cultural problems on a personal level. I'm very sorry for those who cannot avoid exposure to it because of societal influences.

My children have had a perfectly lovely childhood, despite not being in a stereotypical child bubble or not wanting to play with dolls and toys in puberty. I don't sense that my son's political awareness or interest in the news means he's not having a nice childhood.

 

Different people are different. AT ALL AGES.

Edited November 17, 2016 by LucyStoner

[Farrar]

I have no idea where my 12 yos are sometimes already. Just sayin.

[Farrar]

Yeah, but you are a lot less anxious than some of us :)

 

I would faint if I didn't have a good idea of where ds was. 

 

Some of us really have to struggle against our helicopter nature!

 

And that's OK too. So long as we're moving forward...

 

Yeah, if I had zero idea, that would be a problem. But if I get up from a nap and there's no kids, I can only assume they're in the neighborhood. They have to ask to take the bus. I often don't pick up ds from ballet on time lately (his brother has a rehearsal that ends an hour later, so suck it up, kid). He wanders around the area. Apparently yesterday he bought himself his first bubble tea and walked over to watch the ice skaters at the outdoor rink now that it's up. I can only assume if I didn't know, the school would be able to say, there was a walkout, they went to such and such a place.

[Tanaqui]

Going to a protest - at 11/12/13 and without letting a parent know about it - is an action, an activity that I would class as activism.

 

A far cry from not discussing current affairs. And I think that's an unfair suggestion.

 

People here are claiming that it's unreasonable to think that any preteen would be interested in activism because "they're just kids". I say that activism is an outgrowth of having these conversations with your parents, teachers, peers, and others throughout childhood. Since I do assume most of us discuss current events with children of that age group, I'm not sure why some people think it's surprising that some kids that age are politically engaged... at least about the things that concern them.

[Murphy101]

I do not at all think no kid can be interested in justice and genuine protest.

 

I personally think a person genuinely interested in justice and protesting for justice would make the effort to ensure their protest had a rational goal and connection to how they protest. Otherwise it's my opinion it tends to lose effectiveness and possibly even be counter productive to their goals. Hence my comment about giving it annoying eyeroll rather than respect.

 

Therefore, unless they are protesting something about the school, I'm going to be sceptical about their genuine reason for ditching it unless they can explain how the protest is directly related to the school and how it benefits their cause.

 

If they could explain that to me? I'd have no qualms about it and would likely be encouraging.

[Reefgazer]

Same here.

I would be upset at my kid for leaving school without my permission, and upset at the school for letting them do it. Whether or not I believe in the issue being protested is immaterial. I need to know where my kid is and to trust the adults present and my kid to keep me informed. If she is at school, I need to know that she is there. If she is at a friend's house, I want a phone call before she goes anywhere-even if it's just to the mall to try on shoes or to McDonalds to get a hamburger. If she walked out without permission, I would expect the school to contact me ASAP.

 

I probably wouldn't file a lawsuit or anything, but yeah, I'd be down there complaining-and my kid would face some pretty heavy consequences for disobeying a standing house rule at home.

 

[TrixieB]

People seem to be assuming the kids have a real choice here re whether they actually want to protest whatever this protest is about.  In practice, opting out is probably hard to do if the teachers are encouraging it and/or the majority of kids are participating.

 

My kid said "it probably depends on who your friends are" and that the teachers appeared either to not care, or to encourage the kids to go.

 

Kid opted to stay, probably due to highly appealing activity in ___ hour class.

Edited November 17, 2016 by TrixieB

[Sneezyone]

And that's what they should be doing. They should be able understand kind/ unkind actions, and have an awareness of "everyone is not like you" but I don't want my young children to feel they need to take on adult problems. I'm for preserving childhood for those children fortunate enough to not have to deal with social/ cultural problems on a personal level. I'm very sorry for those who cannot avoid exposure to it because of societal influences.

 

This is so frustrating. I mean, really, Tamir Rice was killed playing outside in his neighborhood at 12. Most kids this age really don't have the luxury of being blissfully unaware of adult problems and social issues. These same oblivious kids, as teens and young adults, go on to express complete shock/denial of others' experiences and serve as useless boulders in a stream of folks working to address real problems. SMH. Privilege is for real and everyone, even kids, can and should be part of the solution.

Edited November 17, 2016 by Sneezyone

[DawnM]

I haven't read all the responses.  I haven't known middle school kids to protest either, but I have worked in high schools with protesters.  In fact, with the Charlotte riots, we just had a day where students walked out to protest.  It had nothing to do with the election though.

 

When I worked in LA, we had MULTIPLE protests.  We were told we could not and should not stop students.  They were free to walk out and march or protest, etc.....in LA it was usually about immigration rights, etc.....

 

The difference now is that you can mark them absent and they do not have an excused absence and 10 absences equals and automatic F.  In LA it was unexcused but it didn't matter that much.  The only thing about unexcused is that you weren't required to give them make up work.

[kiwik]

I don't know. I do know that students were allowed to leave campus unsupervised during school hours.

 

What I do know is when my child was in public middle school she was not allowed to leave campus during the day unless I came into the building and picked her up. One time I was going to be late picking her up so I told her to wait on a bench after school. She wasn't allowed to wait outside unattended and had to go into aftercare until I go there.

That seems over the top. I don't think anyone would notice here unless you were at least 15 mins late.

[DawnM]

The real problem is that the law is not defined and each area/school district defines it differently.

 

In Loco Parentis is a law that states that the school is "in place of the parent" during school hours.  Technically, if a student had been shot or otherwise harmed during school hours, the parents would be able to sue.  

 

So, some schools go a bit overboard while others are too lenient.  I don't know what all the answers are, but I do know a case where a parent sued the district for her daughter getting hurt while walking home from school.  She won.  I don't think she won as much as she was asking for, but she was awarded quite a bit.  I don't have time to look up specific cases right now, but I want to later.

 

http://usedulaw.com/345-in-loco-parentis.html

[creekland]

None of this is mutually exclusive. I mean, I play with toys, and complain (loudly!) about having to do the laundry. (Don't have a dishwasher.) Your attitude towards toys or make-believe has nothing to do with your attitude towards politics and current events. Neither of those things is connected to your attitude towards chores. And from the pre-teens on, all these things are only marginally connected to your actual age. (Especially during adolescence. They vary so much!)

 

 

I don't think of it as rushing into political activism. I consider it an outgrowth of my setting an example with my behavior and our continuing discussions on issues like morality and current events. (And the kids definitely don't share all my opinions on those fronts!)

 

Don't most people discuss their views with their kids?

 

:iagree:  I still play with ponies on a daily basis and wonder what I want to do when I grow up.   :lol:   We've at least got that last part narrowed down though.

 

I can't imagine a life where I "must" live as a "grown up" and my kids "should have" lived as kids (beyond the diaper and toddler years anyway).  Even in those years we used a variety of words with them (normal adult talk rather than "baby talk") and explained quite a bit of their world to them - taking time to let them know why the sky was blue and why there are homeless shelters.  

 

My youngest son was scuba certified at age 10.  That's normally an "adult" or "older teen" activity, yet he did better with the classes than some adults we were taking them with - his ability to think through problems and not "freak out" were noted by many.  Our kids watched Hotel Rwanda and went to listen to Paul Rusesabagina speak (due to his being in the area) when they were in middle school or a little younger (probably 3rd or 4th grade for youngest).  We shared many historical movies with them helping them understand their world.  Not one single regret here.

 

Kids in the past and in other areas are born into the real world vs an ideal world.  We did the same with ours - and we like what they've become as young adults - very thoughtful, very considerate (of all people and their planet), very active, and still very interested in pulling out board games or play with ponies when they bring their friends home to visit.

 

As they've moved on to college and see more of life via peers, etc, we've been thanked multiple times for how we brought them up and the sacrifices we made to do things with them.  I don't see a problem with our style at all TBH.

[MotherGoose]

This is so frustrating. I mean, really, Tamir Rice was killed playing outside in his neighborhood at 12. Most kids this age really don't have the luxury of being blissfully unaware of adult problems and social issues. These same oblivious kids, as teens and young adults, go on to express complete shock/denial of others' experiences and serve as useless boulders in a stream of folks working to address real problems. SMH. Privilege is for real and everyone, even kids, can and should be part of the solution.

I don't intend for my children to become blissfully unaware adults. They are aware of things going on in the world to an extent, but not to an extent they feel the need to protest or spend time worrying about it at their age. I don't watch the news around them, and I don't go out of my way to tell them about terrible things that happen. Yes they are privileged to be able to have an innocent childhood, and I don't want to destroy that. Mine are a bit younger, 7 and 10.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I don't intend for my children to become blissfully unaware adults. They are aware of things going on in the world to an extent, but not to an extent they feel the need to protest or spend time worrying about it at their age. I don't watch the news around them, and I don't go out of my way to tell them about terrible things that happen. Yes they are privileged to be able to have an innocent childhood, and I don't want to destroy that. Mine are a bit younger, 7 and 10.

 

By age 11 to 12, it's developmentally appropriate for children to become interested and aware of how other children live. Those from safe and secure homes don't necessarily feel less safe when they learn of the plight of age mates who lack necessities -- at this age, children easily feel motivated to do something to help everyone be safe. They have yet to develop adult cynicism that says nothing will ever change. Solutions seem simple, so they want to go to work.

 

That's why you'll hear of middle school aged children raising funds for causes, and making posters for awareness, and making their parents change their buying habits, etc. This behavior is not just a result of public schools scaring the children into action. Homeschooled children of this age are doing the same things in response to learning of the world's needs. They're developing a sense of justice. Middle schoolers are natural activists, and not harmed by caring, if parents maintain good communication and help them keep balance in their lives.

[creekland]

By age 11 to 12, it's developmentally appropriate for children to become interested and aware of how other children live. Those from safe and secure homes don't necessarily feel less safe when they learn of the plight of age mates who lack necessities -- at this age, children easily feel motivated to do something to help everyone be safe. They have yet to develop adult cynicism that says nothing will ever change. Solutions seem simple, so they want to go to work.

 

That's why you'll hear of middle school aged children raising funds for causes, and making posters for awareness, and making their parents change their buying habits, etc. This behavior is not just a result of public schools scaring the children into action. Homeschooled children of this age are doing the same things in response to learning of the world's needs. They're developing a sense of justice. Middle schoolers are natural activists, and not harmed by caring, if parents maintain good communication and help them keep balance in their lives.

 

:iagree:  They can even grow up to be adults who feel they can change things - in their own circle if not the whole world.  Why try to turn them into cynics? 

[creekland]

To me, that is REALLY scary.  We just had a young girl abducted and killed in this area. 

 

I'm willing to bet a lot of money that far more youngsters died in cars in that same period of time.

 

Obviously, we shouldn't let our kids get into cars - way too dangerous - even with seatbelts.

 

I'm in the camp that it's better to live and die young, than grow into old age and do absolutely nothing.  We did not babysit our kids every single minute or hour of their lives - even while traveling.  We taught them about the real world and its dangers (along with safety stuff), but we didn't continually hover (or require others to hover) over them lest the unlikely happen.

 

I suspect kids are potentially in more danger if they are unaware that the real world exists - esp young kids.

[SKL]

My kids are not unaware of the good and bad in the world.  They are probably more aware than the average middle-schooler of a wide variety of world problems and issues.  We discuss it and they are still learning to form their opinions.  (Our household is not ideologically monolithic.)  A couple months ago I let them each pretend they were in a debate about the political situation and I just listened as they rambled on.  Despite being aware of many things, their logic on how to address those things is still pretty immature.

 

There are hands-on things we can do, and we can keep learning.  We do volunteer work, help people, give donations where that makes the most sense.  We don't avoid places where life is hard (save war zones).  My kids have made some interesting suggestions for improving things, and I've encouraged them to follow up on them, though they have generally let the big ideas drop (or maybe they are still percolating).  We are taking our time because in my opinion, that is the way kids learn to think for themselves.  If I push them into adult-level actions etc., that is me thinking for them.  What is the point of that?

 

About a year ago, we were in a large crowd situation.  There was a panic and a crush and I got separated from one of my kids (she was with my friends but we could not find each other for a long time).  I had to carry the other kid in order to prevent her getting crushed.  Still I was literally afraid for our lives, and for hours I had pain in my chest from the crushing.  If my kids were there on their own or in a group with a low adult-to-child ratio, they could have been hurt or worse.  Having a cell phone made no difference, until later when the physical danger was over.  My kids have not had enough life experience to get themselves out of that situation.  So maybe that experience changed me a little.  IMO an actual (not staged-for-middle-school) political protest is not a place for a pre-teen kid to free-range.

 

I think it's a neat idea to have a mock protest about an issue with two real sides, but sides that don't arouse extreme passions.  I think schools do this in controlled circumstances.

 

I did hear of at least one middle-school kid being beaten at a recent protest.  So it can and does happen.  I'm not normally a wuss about things, but I don't think the benefits outweigh the risks in this situation.

[Plateau Mama]

That seems over the top. I don't think anyone would notice here unless you were at least 15 mins late.

I agree it is over the top but that it exactly what happened. In our district all the schools have aftercare thru middle school. And apparently if your child is on campus after school they must be supervised. She could have left campus but there was nowhere nearby for her to walk and I was only going to be 15 minutes because she missed the bus.

[Bluegoat]

I don't have a problem with my, or any, kid being involved in politics or activism.

 

I have a problem with preteens being somewhere and their guardians having no idea.

 

Take away the protest idea.

 

You're away for the weekend, your 11/12 year old is being looked after by a grandparent, and they have homework assignments to complete.

Said child walks out of the grandparents house because they decide that their passion is with the local music festival, you all enjoy this genre at home and kid plays a pretty mean chord progression at home. Some older kids invited them and most of their friends are going. Neither the child or grandparent calls you, you have no idea until the news report showing youngsters enjoying the mosh pit and your kid's face.

Fine?

 

Someone who generally was ok with their kids being out and about in the day would not necessarily have a problem with this.

 

I get the feeling that people have just become so accustomed to the cell phone culture that they expect to know where even their tweens and teens are at all times. 

 

And I guess if that is the rule, the parent would be right to be annoyed their child didn't call before leaving school to go elsewhere.  Not annoyed at the school, but at the child.

 

But before that was common, most parents at a certain point stopped expecting to know the presise location of kids at all times when they went out for the day.  It might be 10 for some, and 13 for others, and there were pobably some limits on when they had to be home or possibly wat territory they could cover.  But there wasn't an expectation of knowing exact location at all times. 

 

Some people are still happy with that kind of system today.  I'm not sure why that would be so surprising to people given that most people old enough to be parents grew up before cell pones were common.

[Bluegoat]

To me, that is REALLY scary.  We just had a young girl abducted and killed in this area.

 

 For most children middle school age, they do not have the maturity to be alone in a city in a big protest.  Maybe a few of you have them, but the majority of them are completely clueless and have no idea how to protect themselves.  Their brains haven't fully formed to understand the consequences of so many things. Their peers talk them into so many things.  Protest can get out of control quickly and I wouldn't want them to be alone figuring out how to respond if it turns out violent.   The school should only let them out under parent permission.  Now if a parent wants to allow that, that is up to them.  I would not allow them to do that alone until at least 16, maybe later. 

 

16 seems very very extream.

 

Kids can drive at 16.  ere they can join the army reserves at 17, and learn how to go to war.  They could potentially have children of their own at those ages.  My dd11 is taking a babysitting course at school and can legally babysit alone at 12.  And even now if I am home but busy she takes care of the toddler or infant. (My six year old likes to take care of the baby, for that matter.)

 

The coddling of middle school kids is something that seems to have arisen only within about the last generation.

 

Kids being abducted and killed is very rare.