Is there a name for this?

[Home'scool]

Or is this a real psychological issue ..... people who make up stories that are just so over exaggerated and could not possibly be true.

 

Ex: A co-worker of mine has a daughter who has dyslexia. She said when she first tried to work with the school they said not to say the word dyslexia because it was illegal to say the word.

 

Ex: A woman I know told this story: she came down one morning and found some dishes in the sink. She sweetly asked if people were done with the dishes because she would start washing them. Her stepson became enraged and threw a punch at her face due to her question. Her husband managed to catch his son's fist only inches from her face. How they were all bunched around the sink at the same time, I don't know.

 

Same woman told the story then when she was going through a divorce she had so little money she could not afford to feed herself. She would use her benefit of flying for free (her STBX was a pilot) just to get the free in-flight food. Never mind it would cost her gas money to drive to the airport, cost to park, and even family members who fly for free have to pay certain ticket charges.

 

There are many, many examples of these types of stores that I have heard from various people in my life. These stories always make you say "What?? How can that be??"

 

The person in the story is not always a victim, nor are they always a hero. Sometimes the story is just crazy.

 

My mother used to do this. One time my brother had an infection on his finger. He went to the doctor, who said he would have to have it operated on otherwise the infection could get really bad and cause him future trouble, including losing his finger. My mother proceeded to call friends and say "The doctor said he has to have his finger operated on TOMORROW otherwise he is going to amputate it!!"

 

What is the psychological reason for this? It makes me crazy.

[Arctic Bunny]

I don't know. I've made an acquaintance recently and they talked and talked for hours. Some of the stories they told and experiences they had, combined with other things, make me wonder....

[HS Mom in NC]

I don't know the term for it, but my nephew's mother tells whoopers.  She gave us her cat when nephew was born because she didn't want to deal with both a newborn and a pet at the same time.  The cat was perfectly normal looking but had a raspy meow.  She told me the cat's meow was because the cat was in a fire and the fire burned her voicebox and the vets had to remove a lung because of it. Got that?  Flames went down into the voicebox, burning it and damaging a lung but leaving no scars of any kind on the outside of the cat.  The vets did surgery on the cat to remove the lung rather than euthanizing the cat.  Sure they did.  [Eye roll.] Our vet laughed and laughed when he heard about it. It's a family joke now. No one ever comments when nephew is present.

[goldberry]

This is my sister.  Pathological lying?  She lies even when there is no reason to do so. And especially when telling stories.

 

Once she told me she was rear-ended and that "it almost took the whole back end of her car off".  Next time I was in town, I said, "oh, didn't your car get hit?" and she said, "Yeah, but you can't really see it."  No, it had not been fixed in the interim, it just was not really visible.

[JustEm]

An over exaggerator or maybe pathological liar

[Plink]

I understand your point, and yes, there are some people who are plain old compulsive liars.  

 

BUT

 

Just because you think someone's story is unbelievable, doesn't mean that they aren't telling the truth.  To defend one woman in your story - many educational systems were prohibited from using the word dyslexia until very recently.  Here is one example from a newly revised NJ law:

 

"Simply, districts can’t tell you that dyslexia doesn’t exist in NJ anymore because now it does … officially. That may not sound like much to some people, but for those who were told to their faces that dyslexia doesn’t exist, this is huge! Parents can openly use the word “dyslexia†in their conversations with their districts. Districts may still resist using the word themselves, but parents can take the lead on this."

[displace]

For some bizarro-world reason, the dyslexia story may be true. Sigh... 😔

[Katy]

Pathological lying.  They lie about everything, just to entertain themselves.

[Laurie4b]

People with various personality disorders can do this (narcissistic, borderline, histrionic for instance) . People who have several traits of these personality disorders, but may not have the fullblown disorder, may also lie like that. 

 

Sometimes people get mixed up and their mind fills in the blanks. That could be the case with the dyslexia story, for instance. Dyslexia is not an official diagnosis in the DSM (the Diagnostic and Statistic Manual) that mental health professionals use. Some will officially diagnose "dyslexia" and others will call it a learning disability in reading. School districts typically do not use the word dyslexia but rather the learning disability language. It's pretty easy to see how a person might not understand it (especially as a student--or perhaps the parent didn't) and get it confused and fill in the blank with "illegal." 

 

The other examples are self-entertainment/stimulation (let's make things more interesting)  or self-aggrandizement (being the victim, star, or hero), etc. Self is the focus. One person I know well like this told me once, "I've told so many lies I don't know what's true anymore."  When you "spin' a story and continue to do so, you can lose track of reality. So after a while, they may not even know that they are lying anymore. 

[HS Mom in NC]

My nephew's mother, who I mentioned above, worked at Intel on the opposite compressed work schedule from my brother.  A close friend of his worked the same schedule, in the same area, as babymamma did.  Friend standing within ear shot of babymamma and a co-worker encountered this conversation:

 

Co-worker: "How old is your son?  Is his dad involved?"
Babymamma: " He's 11 months old. No.  His father isn't involved at all."

Friend [walking over and inserting herself into the conversation]: "Isn't he with his father right now? Hasn't he been with his father every day he hasn't been with you because the judge ordered  joint custody when he was 3 months old?"

Babymamma rolled her eyes and walked away.

[emmaluv+2more]

I don't know. I've made an acquaintance recently and they talked and talked for hours. Some of the stories they told and experiences they had, combined with other things, make me wonder....

 

I wonder if we know the same person!  More likely, this is more common than I care to admit.  

[zaichiki]

The person wants your attention. They want the drama because they crave your reaction.

[Joyofsixreboot]

Generously, I think sometimes the person is voicing some inner story they told themselves or their confused memory of a story. Sometimes people just get carried away and want to tell the good story. Sometimes it's a weird need to have the most, best, worst...whatever. A way to win or impress. It doesn't come off that way. And yes,moment people just lie.

[Katy]

The person wants your attention. They want the drama because they crave your reaction.

 

:iagree: This.  Just beware not to reveal anything you find emotionally vulnerable to a person like this, because IME when you stop engaging and reacting, and just say, "Huh," with a flat look, chances are high they will lie about you and your life next, in as high drama a way as possible.

[heartlikealion]

I could see getting a ride to the airport, but not understand paying fees to board and get the in-flight meal. Then don't you have to stay on the flight? That would eat up your day.

 

You could all stand around a sink, that's not so hard to believe. It's the punching like that which sounds crazy.

 

I dated a guy that lied about everything. I didn't know what he lied about at first. Then things would come up. I considered him a compulsive liar. He lied about making something that I later saw in Wal-Mart. He lied about much worse. I even ended up in the car with him when he out ran the cops who we were going to pull him over for his broken light. Who does that? If I hadn't been there I would have thought it was a made up story.

[Arctic Bunny]

I wonder if we know the same person! More likely, this is more common than I care to admit.

I actually went home and googled news stories from the town she is from to see if I could find anything. Like, if those things happened in MY school, it would have been in the news, you know?

 

And all the extras she has.... like, getting a pilot's license isn't cheap, right? And to be young and (it sounds like) have grown up not well off....

 

And the things she was gung-ho about volunteering for when she moved here because she has tons of experience? Now she can't.

 

I could go on!

[creekland]

My guess is people tend to start tweaking or making up stories when rather young, find they get welcome attention for it, and gradually shift into that becoming their lifestyle.  In the end, I don't think they even know they are doing it.

 

We had a student at school who made up stories about how he or his mom had been in the hospital, etc. and that's why he was having trouble with keeping up.  What he didn't realize is our school is very generous with allowing time on assignments and tests for things like this - except we check with mom/family to see if any additional help is needed...  :lol:   Mom was not all that pleased when she heard his reasons.  She was curious as to what they each had though...

 

I doubt this was the young lad's first experience with telling whoppers - and getting "rewarded" for his stories.

 

And this is only one example I'm adding.  There are others.

 

If it's an older person making up the stories I'd also be thinking dementia.  My MIL has very Advanced Alzheimers.  Nothing she says now is truthful, or very, very little is.  She can't remember details at all, so her mind makes them up - always quite detailed and usually "wow" stories.  It took her a while to get to this stage, but the stories began many years ago - just not as common and a little more truth to them.  Family/friends knows not to believe anything.  We often clue anyone new in if we can.

[SemiSweet]

My exh was a compulsive liar, but he didn't make up outlandish stories, he just lied about everything.

 

As far as dementia goes, my grandmother now has advanced dimentia but way before she was diagnosed she would do some pretty crazy things and one of them was to make up stories about her daughters or granddaughter. She went around telling people I had had multiple abortions when I was 13-14, and I have not ever had even one abortion much less multiple ones. It was extremely hurtful.

 

I think some people do it to feel better about themselves, some people do it for attention, and some people do it as a way to fill in the blanks.

[Home'scool]

chances are high they will lie about you and your life next, in as high drama a way as possible.

 

Yes, this is true. My mother would tell stories about me to other people all the time. She would take an offhanded comment that I made, or a small event, and turn it into a huge dramatic story. It would be so embarrassing when I found out! Other people must have thought I was a lunatic based on her stories.

 

One time I had an minor argument with my husband because I was trying to talk to him about something important and he fell asleep. When I woke him up he said something about "being so tired it wasn't his fault cuz he could sleep through anything". So, to be a nudge, I turned on the radio because he hates noise when he sleeps. But that was it. I turned on the radio for about 5 minutes to make a point that some things he doesn't sleep through.

 

When my mother told people the story, though, she had me turning on the radio, then turning on all the lights, then pulling off all the covers on the bed, and finally had me bringing in a full glass of water and throwing it on him! I was so embarrassed that people would think I would be that crazy!

 

And I swear if you hooked her up to a lie detector machine she would pass.  By the time the story was out of her mouth she believed it in full. Sigh. She was a narcissist so I don't know if that played into it.

 

 

[StaceyinLA]

My stepson's first child's mother is a compulsive liar like this. They stayed with us for a time and that girl told lie after lie every, single day. It was absolutely ridiculous the stuff she would say. For a while, I wrote down lies we caught her in (we were concerned there was going to be a custody issue at some point so I wanted to keep track of some things), and I had 2 notebook pages front and back of lies (and not her little stupid ones) she had told.

 

I can't quite understand the compulsive liar thing. This poor girl couldn't keep up with what was told to whom.

[Scarlett]

I think the term is pathological liar. My xMIL is one. Usually hers have to do with proving how wonderful and perfect she is and how 'everyone' agrees.

 

I worked with a girl who told whoppers. I liked her and got along with her.....but if we were on a break together none of the other girls and I could even make contact while she was talking because we would burst out laughing.

 

She told that they had a pet turtle who saw a bit of material sticking out of the dryer and jumped up and grabbed it and the dryer slung him around and broke his neck.

 

Oh and a girl she knew back home had two uteruses ( I know this is a real but rare thing) who got pregnant in both uteruses by two different men and had the babies 2 months apart. One white, one black.

[zoobie]

Could be a pathological liar. Could be a borderline person trying to manipulate you with a version of the truth. Could be someone who maybe has difficulty understanding things filling in holes as Katy said. I think there's a whole bunch of this latching on to alternate reality going around right now. People are nuts. Verifiable facts? Nah. A story whispered by the checkout clerk at the grocery? Gospel truth.

[goldberry]

She told that they had a pet turtle who saw a bit of material sticking out of the dryer and jumped up and grabbed it and the dryer slung him around and broke his neck.

 

 

Ninja turtle!  :ph34r:

[lauraw4321]

I've had some weird things happen to me in my life and I tend to just not tell the stories IRL because I figure people won't believe me.

 

Boyfriend threatening to commit suicide with a shotgun in front of me.

 

Professor at HBC saying racist things about students during private oral exam (I'm white).

 

Narrowly avoiding a terrorist attack and attempting to help victims.

 

Some of the stories may be fake. But some may also be true. Life is stranger than fiction.

[Anne in CA]

I think the term is pathological liar. My xMIL is one. Usually hers have to do with proving how wonderful and perfect she is and how 'everyone' agrees.

 

I worked with a girl who told whoppers. I liked her and got along with her.....but if we were on a break together none of the other girls and I could even make contact while she was talking because we would burst out laughing.

 

She told that they had a pet turtle who saw a bit of material sticking out of the dryer and jumped up and grabbed it and the dryer slung him around and broke his neck.

 

Oh and a girl she knew back home had two uteruses ( I know this is a real but rare thing) who got pregnant in both uteruses by two different men and had the babies 2 months apart. One white, one black.

OMG, I had a boss tell me almost the same story. She said used to babysit nonidentical twins, one was white, one was black, lol. That boss told some real whopper stories too. She was crazy, but interesting. She loved money so much she used to iron it after she gently washed it. That was true, I was at her house and saw her do it. Another story she told (to explain why she had no high school diploma) was that her stepmother was angry at her for going to a party the night she graduated so the step mother put all her possessions in the family driveway and lit a bonfire with her possessions, using her high school diploma to light them with. She said she then went to Circle K and used the pennies in the penny cup to get a quarter to call someone from the newspaper to be a room mate and she left home then. That might be true, lol, but later she told my room mate that she didn't finish high school.

[maize]

It is actually possible for fraternal twins to have different fathers:

 

Http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2016/03/10/dna-shows-fraternal-twins-in-vietnam-have-different-fathers-scientist-says/?0p19G=c

[Murphy101]

I've had some weird things happen to me in my life and I tend to just not tell the stories IRL because I figure people won't believe me.

 

Boyfriend threatening to commit suicide with a shotgun in front of me.

 

Professor at HBC saying racist things about students during private oral exam (I'm white).

 

Narrowly avoiding a terrorist attack and attempting to help victims.

 

Some of the stories may be fake. But some may also be true. Life is stranger than fiction.

That's what I was going to say. I switched to Murphy101 for a reason. It's like I'm some kind of crazy you can't make up this crap happens type of stuff magnet. People who don't know me well or IRL? They probably think I'm full of poop. People who do know me well and IRL? They are the first to call when something weird or whatever happens to them bc they are all, "Good Lord, you name the crazy, it's happened to Martha, call her for advice on how to cope with it!" Which is both 😂 And just 😰 At the same time. Mostly I take the attitude of laugh bc there's not any point in crying over it.

 

But then again, I wouldn't share my crazy with just anyone. LOL It's limited to dh/kids and about 2-3 long time family friends. When I held jobs or took classes, I rarely shared much at all. Keep it professional folks. I didn't even like the whole new class/new hire taking turns introducing each other thing. If it'd been socially acceptable, I'd have never done it or tried to skim by with a bland, "I'm Martha. The end."

 

Discussing medical stuff on these forums is probably as personal as I've ever gotten. And I don't share that IRL much and I don't share all the tribulations of those events either. Just the most frustrating for me to discuss IRL.

 

Not saying there aren't crazy liars/delusional people out there. I'm well aware there is. But yeah, life can be way way stranger than fiction too.

Edited November 3, 2016 by Murphy101

[Carrie12345]

I have a Boarderline relative, a Narcissist relative, and an undetermined, but clearly unstable relative.  There are times I'm left questioning MY grip on reality!!!  :huh:

[Janie Grace]

I have a relative who does this. In her case, she is an extreme extravert who loves attention. Her dh doesn't give her much, so when she tells a story, she seems to want to make it funnier, more amazing, more touching, etc. than it actually is. I think that what she makes up actually SEEMS LIKE THE TRUTH to her, because this is such a deeply ingrained habit. She gets very offended when challenged on the validity of her stories. 

[HS Mom in NC]

My impression with nephew's mother is that there's an impulse control problem when it comes to telling lies.  I seriously doubt she thinks about whether or not her story is believable and how people are likely to react to it.  I think ideas pop in her head and she can't stop herself from telling them.
 

[Scarlett]

I've had some weird things happen to me in my life and I tend to just not tell the stories IRL because I figure people won't believe me.

 

Boyfriend threatening to commit suicide with a shotgun in front of me.

 

Professor at HBC saying racist things about students during private oral exam (I'm white).

 

Narrowly avoiding a terrorist attack and attempting to help victims.

 

Some of the stories may be fake. But some may also be true. Life is stranger than fiction.

 

 

There is just a ring of untruth to some of the stories I've heard.  I wouldn't disbelieve anything you wrote above if I were you friend IRL.  Not unless your told me stories over time that didn't match up.  L

[Home'scool]

My daughter had a teacher in high school who told the class that McDonalds made their hamburgers with ground up worms. He insisted it was true because he had worked there for years when he was younger.

 

My daughter freaked out and I had to show her the Snopes articles and other sources saying that this was in no way true (it would actually be more expensive for McDonalds to do that instead of using meat).

 

I was just so angry that this teacher would tell such a stupid story, and emphatically back it up saying that he saw it with his own eyes, to his students.

 

Seriously, what is wrong with people?

[Garga]

They're all channeling Mark Twain.

 

People like that should make their livings being authors. They have some pretty entertaining ideas.

[KS_]

I have a relative who does this. In her case, she is an extreme extravert who loves attention. Her dh doesn't give her much, so when she tells a story, she seems to want to make it funnier, more amazing, more touching, etc. than it actually is. I think that what she makes up actually SEEMS LIKE THE TRUTH to her, because this is such a deeply ingrained habit. She gets very offended when challenged on the validity of her stories. 

 

My xmil is like this (attention loving extrovert)  - but I don't even think she realizes she's adding or embellishing the stories.  I think she lives in her own reality so much that she truly believes what comes out of her mouth is the truth.  And at this point, I don't think anyone even tries to challenge her (and xh seems to be developing a similar lack of memory for the truth - not nearly as bad yet, but I wonder how he'll remember things 20+ years from now).