Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Because I just want to say, there are some people that I would like to ask to be "friends" and am just a little bit shy about asking. That maybe they won't like where I stand religiously or politically, or whatnot. And I guess I'm afraid of rejection. Or maybe thinking that if they had wanted to ask me, they would have already. (Though there are five people that I asked this week that I slapped my forehead and said, "Doh!" about because I had somehow missed them. I suspect there about about 30 more in the same category!) So my challenge to you for tonight is to think of a person you're a little bit shy asking and just ASK! That is, if you do the whole "friends" thing, and I know some of you do not. That's cool, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3lilreds in NC Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Pam, you're already my friend, or I'd ask you! :grouphug: It's taken me a while to get the hang of this new board stuff, but it's fun. Don't be shy. No one would reject you, I'm sure. You're too wonderful. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 I haven't asked for a single friend, but I haven't turned down a single offer of a friend either. I figure it's like real life - I just wander about my way accepting any friends as they come.:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frontier Mom Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Hey Pam, I sent you a request. I grew up in East TN so anybody from there is a friend of mine. I would love to have more friends too as I always look at others and say, "Wow, look at how many friends they have." Crazy isn't it? Oh, well. I do the same thing on Facebook so I guess I need to get used to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keptwoman Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 I haven't had any friend requests since the initial burst of friend adding. I figured everyone had tired of playing with the new toy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klmama Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Oh, yes. I'm the same way in real life. I don't want to impose myself into your life if you'd rather not have me there, and I hate rejection! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zelda Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Because I just want to say, there are some people that I would like to ask to be "friends" and am just a little bit shy about asking. That maybe they won't like where I stand religiously or politically, or whatnot. And I guess I'm afraid of rejection. Or maybe thinking that if they had wanted to ask me, they would have already. (Though there are five people that I asked this week that I slapped my forehead and said, "Doh!" about because I had somehow missed them. I suspect there about about 30 more in the same category!) So my challenge to you for tonight is to think of a person you're a little bit shy asking and just ASK! That is, if you do the whole "friends" thing, and I know some of you do not. That's cool, too. I've enjoyed the requests I've received but haven't made any b/c of feeling weird with the whole thing. IRL I guess, like others, I tend to do the same thing. Just kick around by myself unless someone strikes up a conversation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 I am much braver than in real life. And try to add any be that I come across in posts that I may have forgotten. I have already asked two new people tonight. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vida Winter Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Yes, a little shy but a little bold as well. I have many friends on this board who do not share my views. I still think the world of you. ~Dana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jugglin'5 Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Okay, I have to say I still don't understand this feature. Although I have friended and been befriended, what does that do? Can anyone enlighten me? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in Orlando Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 I'm a wimp too. I've been amazed at the friend requests I've had from this board. I'm such a wimp, I think like you do - what if they don't like me or my views. I'm getting braver. I so enjoy so many of the posters here that I have NOTHING in common with at all. I don't agree with them all the time, but I still like them and admire their willingness to argue in a nice way. And, soon, this election will be over and we'll all still be different, but I don't think it will feel the same way it does now. I don't think everyone will be so cautious and on the defensive. ((())) go ahead and make those friend requests - I think you'll be pleasantly surprised!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VaKim Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Okay' date=' I have to say I still don't understand this feature. Although I have friended and been befriended, what does that do? Can anyone enlighten me?[/quote'] It really doesn't do anything, except that in your control panel, if you want, you can set it so you only get messages from your friends (besides mods and admins, of course.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rafiki Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soph the vet Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Thanks for the reminder, Pam. I just requested 4 or 5 new friends. I think I'll go look for some more:D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 I haven't asked for a single friend, but I haven't turned down a single offer of a friend either. I figure it's like real life - I just wander about my way accepting any friends as they come.:) Me too. Honestly, I don't really know what to do with the friends feature. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GailV Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 I haven't had any friend requests since the initial burst of friend adding. I figured everyone had tired of playing with the new toy. Same here. I'd forgotten it existed. Now tags are another thing -- the tag feature brings out my inner library cataloger -- I feel a deep need to put a tag on every thread I read. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Okay' date=' I have to say I still don't understand this feature. Although I have friended and been befriended, what does that do? Can anyone enlighten me?[/quote'] It puts you in the popular club---of which I am not a member. :D And yes, Pam, I do get shy about it. I haven't asked a single person, but also haven't turned down the few that asked me. I am trying not to obsess about it. I recently set up a Facebook page and find that I am mildly obsessed with getting people to be my friend there. I hate the way it all makes me feel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Oh my! I just checked and Pam has 158 friends! So Pam I don't think you should worry that people won't like you. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 I backed off of the boards a bit when all the changes were happening. I received my very first friend request yesterday.:D I have been feeling a little lonely and self-conscious, but I know I'm not exactly an old-timer around here. Not to mention the fact that I'm a rambling fool most of the time and I don't usually fit in to neat little friend categories. That's okay. I like being weird. So, today I'm asking Pam to be my friend.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 (edited) Yes, I do. Online and IRL I'm paranoid that people just pretend to like me, and that on the inside they're wishing I would just go away. I try to be rational, but the paranoia is still there. ETA: Am I the only one who gets the VeggieTales " " song stuck in her head every time she sees the Friends Feature mentioned here? Edited October 14, 2008 by JudoMom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apiphobic Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Okay' date=' I have to say I still don't understand this feature. Although I have friended and been befriended, what does that do? Can anyone enlighten me?[/quote'] Adding friends is just for fun -- a new toy on these boards. I think someone mentioned it fostering more of a sense of community, and that makes sense. I've noticed people having fun posting on each other's visitor message boards. Little notes like, "Nice post!" or "Hope your dog's feeling better!" etc. It was a good idea on the part of SWB to add these functions, so people would find another source of enjoyment here at the WTM boards. It's quicker to send a friend a message or post on their visitor board by going to your friend/contact list than searching for a post by that person or searching the members list. I'd originally thought you could only post on a visitor message board if you were friends, but I guess you can post to someone's board even if they're not a friend. Unless they change their settings to allow only visitor messages from friends. (I have to wonder why they'd do that though. It's not anonymous, so it wouldn't be considered stalking, would it? Has anyone been suffering from hate mail?) Some people are taking advantage of the albums and adding pictures to them on their profile. You can set it to private so that only friends can view it. I had fun going through our pictures and trying to find some that showed our homeschool world. And the social groups are another way to foster a sense of community. Maybe they're also to ease the congestion on the GB, because you can see how busy it gets. I don't know what other little options are available, but I'm having fun finding out. For instance, I didn't know you could ask for a read receipt when you send a private message. What else am I missing? Learning something new can be such fun! Or maybe it just means Mr. Rogers is in the neighborhood again. Oh wait, is that the ice cream truck I hear? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted October 14, 2008 Author Share Posted October 14, 2008 (edited) Oh my! I just checked and Pam has 158 friends! So Pam I don't think you should worry that people won't like you. :D I don't worry it like that. I hope that didn't come across as the point of my post! LOL There are some people I think... Well, I bet it did come across like this, because I'm getting hugs and stuff. Point of message: There are some people here who I think would find it very weird that I was asking to be "friends" with. So I hesitate. The biggest point of the message was that if I am hesitating, maybe some other people are hesitating, too. So I'm going to try to be brave a little bit, and I hope other people will be, too. If they do this sort of thing, of course. If not, that's cool, too. Edited October 14, 2008 by Pam "SFSOM" in TN Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jill- OK Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 (edited) I haven't asked for a single friend, but I haven't turned down a single offer of a friend either. LOL...I hope no one is losing sleep thinking that I don't like them, since I haven't asked them to be 'friends', because...I don't think I've asked anyone. (Who knows what I do when I come here after a glass of wine, lol.) But some very cool people have asked me, and I've said 'yes'. Honestly, I'd worry that I was forgetting someone, and when I plop down here for my time on the board...I just have zipping through some threads on my mind. If it wasn't for the "Private Messages" alert thingy up in the corner...I'd probably miss out on messages or requests. I'm just not thinking that way. So, please, no one take it personal...I'm just not one to put myself out there that much, and I'm usually pretty focused on chitchat for the time that I'm here. Edited October 14, 2008 by Jill, OK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnotherE Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 I find this hard, being a newbie in registration but having lurked for a long time. I feel like I know everyone just from reading day after day, and then realize nobody knows me because I've been hiding. Pam, you especially match my thoughts so often I find myself not even posting because you've already said (and in a much better way than I could ever organize myself) what I'm thinking. I'm trying to put myself out there a bit more, but it is really hard! Especially since I managed to offend LilyK yesterday- but she was gracious and accepted my apology over the misunderstanding. But at the time I wanted to just crawl back to my little shadowed corner. :) Making new friends, even on an internet forum, is not as easy as it should be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heidi @ Mt Hope Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 I'm not all that paranoid that they specifically won't want to be friends with me. I just don't think most people would know who I am, LOL. Maybe I'll be bold and try to bump my friend count from 1 to 2 today. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Me too. Honestly, I don't really know what to do with the friends feature. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 I don't understand what it all means. Our names appear on someone's home page and theirs are on our homepage. So? What does that accomplish? I'm *such* a dinosaur that I simply can't wrap my mind around all this. And what happened to our ability to click on our names on the main panel, go to our control page, and pull up all our posts to review those? Now the only thing I can figure out to do is do a search..... And what about pming folks? I loved to do that. Now it seems that when you pm, your messages are listed for all to see. How is that a "private" message? It seems dumb (to me) to have private messages posted on your public homepage..... Acccckkkkkk!!!!! I've tried looking at what I thought would be some busier homepages, like yours, Pam, but I still can't figure out why these changes are any good/fun/beneficial...... So I've sorta stopped trying to even use them..... I wonder if others have, also.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GailV Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 And what about pming folks? I loved to do that. Now it seems that when you pm, your messages are listed for all to see. How is that a "private" message? It seems dumb (to me) to have private messages posted on your public homepage..... Hmm, when I look at a user control panel for someone else (I randomly chose Mama Lynx) I see visitor messages that are public for all to see. I don't see the private messages. To me it looks as though the private messages are still private. Then again, I haven't sent or received a pm for a couple of weeks, so maybe the new ones land in a new spot. But, really, I have 44 pms (yes, I know, I really need to tidy up and delete some of those), and I don't think you can see any of them. But you can see the handful of visitor messages on my user control panel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janna Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Yeah, I'm kinda in a hunkered down state, I guess you would say. With all of the changes, it *does* seem rather cliquish and a popularity game of sorts. So I'm finding myself more and more on the curriculum board, which, LOL, is where I probably should be. I feel like, in a sense, I've lost my "voice", if I even really had one on here to begin with. It's no big deal - I'm a secure enough person to deal with it. But I do find myself wishing for the "old board" every now and again. Anyway, I still lurk here now and then, but my posting has gone way down, and not without reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clwcain Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 I haven't made much use of the Friends feature. Usually, I'm indifferent to what others think of me (since I'm pretty sure they don't think of me much). But around here it strikes me that some might find it odd or uncomfortable to receive a friend request from a guy. So I don't offer. As I said, this is not how I am in real life. Quite the opposite. I hadn't given it much thought until I read your post, Pam. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VaKim Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Hmm, when I look at a user control panel for someone else (I randomly chose Mama Lynx) I see visitor messages that are public for all to see. I don't see the private messages. To me it looks as though the private messages are still private. Then again, I haven't sent or received a pm for a couple of weeks, so maybe the new ones land in a new spot. But, really, I have 44 pms (yes, I know, I really need to tidy up and delete some of those), and I don't think you can see any of them. But you can see the handful of visitor messages on my user control panel. Private messages are still exactly the same - private. The visitor message is a new and completely separate feature. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAMom Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 I'm shy about it because I haven't really felt much like I fit in here and didn't figure anyone would want to be my "friend." I do have two friends, though. One person knows me from another board and one kind sould reached out to me only knowing me here.;) I'll try to think of someone I wouldn't think would turn me down.:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 I've given up on the friends thing--so just everyone know I think you ALL have something valuable to contribute, and I read EVERYONE's posts, even if we don't seem to inhabit the same planet some days--not a problem; I've always thought it would be fun to live on Mars. Ok, like, totally kidding--I don't think of anyone as totally out there. Not...totally. Gotta go put my hands up a chicken now and make dinner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RebeccaC Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 I just don't get the friends thing either..... I haven't turned anyone down but why? If it is just for pming convenience I guess it is OK but I seldom pm. IRL I am a introvert and on the boards I post but I reckon I am still an introvert :001_smile: I sort of view this like a yearbook thing, lots of folks like their yearbook filled up with sigs and nice comments by lots and lots of folks who are really mostly acquaintances and others like a few sigs with nice comments from folks who they really know well. Neither is better than the other just differences in personality and how folks view the world. I was wondering if the friends thing would replace the green square thing. In other words folks no longer have tons of green square but now have tons of friends that are really acquaintances....... Just wondering...... Maybe I am just too much an introvert to get it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apiphobic Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Y'all think too much. :D:D:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 I haven't yet sent any Friends requests as I also don't really "get" it. But I have to admit it made me feel all warm and fuzzy when I got two from other people. :) So I just sent two to share those warm and fuzzies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Yeah, Apiphobic and I are friends and I don't think we have anything in common except we're both weird and sarcastic. People don't have to think alike to be friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 hey I made my first ever friend request today and I was accepted!:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Here is the truth of the matter for me....I want everyone to be my friend. But, I don't ask anyone. I love friends and I want everybody here to feel like someone wants them as a friend. Yet, I don't ever remember to ask anyone. So, if anyone doesn't have enough friends, will you please request me to be your friend, because I REALLY want to be your friend!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenn in Mo Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Here's how I see it: Yes, I am naturally shy. Yes, I am constantly assuming that people have better things to do than listen to me. BUT, I am also aware that I am NOT the only one who feels this way. I am not the only one afraid of pushing myself in someone's path. So now, I go out of my way to approach others, just in case they are feeling the same way. I've only been brushed off once IRL. The rest seem genuinely relieved to be approached. It is WAY out of my comfort zone, but I'm approaching it as if it is a mission from God. :D Anyone else get the Blues Bros. stuck in their head when they hear that phrase? I have requested friends at those moments when I would have given positive rep to someone. I've basically used it as a high five. I must admit, it was an ego boost to be asked by several. Since I visit in spurts and not always very often, I figured I was more of a wall-flower board member and wouldn't have many know I existed. But "THEY LIKE ME! THEY REALLY LIKE ME!!!":lol::lol: Yeah, it feels good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted October 15, 2008 Author Share Posted October 15, 2008 Y'all think too much. :D:D:D You're RIGHT. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 I just tried to befriend you, Pam. Please, please, please don't reject me! I will be heartbroken if you do! :svengo:Oh, be my friend. PLEEEEAAAAAAASE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted October 15, 2008 Author Share Posted October 15, 2008 I just tried to befriend you, Pam. Please, please, please don't reject me! I will be heartbroken if you do! :svengo:Oh, be my friend. PLEEEEAAAAAAASE! You're so funny. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CLHCO Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 Honestly, I'm not really shy about asking people to be my friend, but I so often forget! I don't always post enough for other to know me and ask, but I think it's a fun feature and kind of just a game. In fact, it kind of floors me that you, Pam, would worry about it. You're so... friendly. You have to ask? I do sometimes like to look at other people's friends because it gives me an idea of everything from what they're schooling style to political direction often leans. Not always, but it's funny to watch the clicks form. :D It kind of makes sense because the few times I've remembered to ask someone to be my friend it was when they posted something I really liked. It's almost like a "rep". Despite what I've said above, I have found myself appreciative of opposite views to my own very often when I feel the person has been polite and added something to a conversation so I really need to diversify more. I should remember to ask when something strikes me more often. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn E Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 I have a total of three friends here. Should I be sad? :001_smile: Seriously, one kind person befriended me, and then I sent out a couple of friend requests. Then I lost interest. I like you all, and hope that more than three of you like me, but I haven't yet seen the point of the friend thingy. Now, if you wanna be my facebook friend, then by all means PM me and I'll hook you up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSMP Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 I haven't been very good at submitting friend requests. I have had requests and assumed if one was asked it went on both. I have 7 friends so far ...I guess I am not being so friendly....sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apiphobic Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 You're RIGHT. LOL Hey, I'm still bopping to White & Nerdy here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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