Does anyone else hate driving on busy highways and nervous about their kids driving on highways too?

[Only me]

I hate driving on busy highways. There was only a short time in my life that I didn't mind in my early 20's until I had kids. Now I despise it. I especially hate merging but crazy traffic makes me so nervous. I'm not talking LA traffic but I think Chicago/NW traffic is bad enough.

 

I have tried for years to get over this fear. I will drive on the interstate west or south of the city and to places like St Louis or Des Moines. The problem is I'm trying not to make my young adults have the same fear as me. My oldest will never like driving. She is 24 and has anxiety problems but my other two do fine. My 18 ds will pretty much drive on the highway any time he needs to. He hasn't driven downtown yet but doesn't avoid the highway like I do. I would much rather add 15-20 min to my trip and avoid the highway. My 21 dd is In between. She is a little nervous and would rather not take the highway but will do it to save time.

 

Today I am a nervous wreck. My daughters just left to go visit a friend NW Indiana and will have to take several busy toll roads. It is normally a 2 hour trip but due to construction and accidents the GPS says it will take 3. They couldn't leave until this afternoon so will have to deal with Friday afternoon/evening rush hour. Of course before they left I was very upbeat and told them I was confident they could do it but now that they have left I'm all nerves. I know that they are adults but this is their first trip like this alone. They have both been places with friends driving of course but this is their first time driving in this kind of traffic. The 21 year old is doing all the driving and I told her older sister to be a good co-pilot. Sometimes I wish they were little again.

[4everHis]

Me. :seeya:  :seeya:

[OH_Homeschooler]

I'm the same way. I make DH drive through big cities all the time now. 

 

If it's any consolation, I think it's actually good news that the trip is expected to take an hour longer than normal. That means everyone will be forced to drive slower. 

[Annie G]

I'm ok driving on highways...maybe a little overconfident about driving in downtown Chicago.  But I didn't like the kids driving on highways. I mean, these kids couldn't navigate a dirty dish from their bedroom into the dishwasher! But they all did fine...so far only one accident out of four kids, and that was minor.  I'm sure ds gets lost but just doesn't tell me. The kid is brilliant but scattered. 

 

:grouphug: I know it's hard-- you're doing great! 

[Jennay]

If it's any consolation, I think it's actually good news that the trip is expected to take an hour longer than normal. That means everyone will be forced to drive slower.

I was going to say the exact same thing!

I also hate driving on busy highways - but I do it. In the DC area, it's a must.

[Alicia64]

Me too. :(

[gardenmom5]

we have bad traffic. (4 - 5th worst overall depending upon study, and where exactly you're commuting to .)  there are times of day I'd be happy to not drive.  I can drive in heavy traffic, but there are some pretty rude people out there too.

 

I only worry about kids driving in it when they're newer drivers.  I have one with anxiety, who does NOT like to drive - even in light traffic.

 

eta: we've done a number of trips over the years where I just expect a freeway to be down to one-land due to construction.  after all, summer is road construction season.  had it in canada in june when we went to banff.  we even had mt. rainier down to one-lane for 12 miles on the busiest road in the park.

Edited August 5, 2016 by gardenmom5

[Only me]

They did it and she did great. Worst traffic she has ever seen but she got through it.

[Mbelle]

Yes, I hate it.  Had to do it today and travel to a very congested area.  Normally, I will just take the side roads, but today I just thought I'd do the quick thing.  I felt exhausted by the time I got home.  

I was sitting their thinking about my 16year driving in those conditions and I could not wrap my head around it.  I can hardly stand for her drive down the neighborhood street! LOL

[Amy in NH]

Nope, not a problem.

[Guest]

I don't mind it unless we are talking rush hour on the 5 and I have to get across four lanes in a quarter mile - that kind of traffic stresses me out, especially if I'm on a time crunch. My solution up here where traffic is moderate except in poor weather is that I just schedule a lot of extra road time and cruise to music. It is AMAZING what a difference in my sanity an extra 15 minutes over the required drive time gives me. My stress level is like a 1-2 instead of a 7 on the scale.

[3 ladybugs]

Can I just say, that if you are afraid to drive on them, PLEASE don't!! 

 

I had a wood shop class in middle school. It was fun for me, and it was a whole class thing so I wasn't the only girl in there. ;) Anyway, I remember few of my lessons from even that school that was at for 4 years, but I do remember that the instructor in wood shop said, "If you are afraid to operate something, DON'T do it!" His reasoning is you are just going to hurt yourself or others if you do try to do it. 

 

I think the same is with the highway. I have loved driving on the highway since I have been able to drive. It is easy for me. Yeah I was a bit intimidated when I started driving them in the northeast, but even there once you realize that you need to go with the flow of traffic, you are fine. I prefer highways to the surface streets as there is more predictability on a highway. However I can ALWAYS tell when people hate driving on the highway. I try my best to give you WIDE right's of way, but honestly you get in my way more often then not (and I am not just talking about your speed). 

 

So please, if at all possible, figure out another way to drive, or take mass transit if needed. Someone might thank you one day. 

[fraidycat]

Me driving: I don't like it, but I'm not anxious about doing it. I'll take a crowded freeway vs. downtown traffic, anyday. I don't "do" downtown.

 

My kids driving: They're not old enough yet, but the thought terrifies me! Too many distracted drivers to watch out for.

[kewb]

Me:no, it doesn't bother me.

My teen driver: If I am in the car I am a nervous wreck. In fairness, I am a lousy passenger. If I am not in the car it isn't of sight out of mind.

[ktgrok]

I actually prefer the highway around here as far as safety, compared to surface streets. People in Orlando think nothing of stopping or switching lanes in the middle of an intersection, and have no problem running red lights. At least on a highway everyone is going the same direction, rather than massive intersections with people going every which way, ignoring traffic rules entirely. 

[ktgrok]

Oh, and I find my anxiety is much better if I keep a safe following distance, and if I get over to the lane I need to be in WAY ahead of time. And I accept that if I miss my exit, I miss my exit, I'll just turn around and get back on. No stress. 

[Kassia]

I get nervous about getting lost or missing an exit or something like that when it's me driving.  

 

When it's my kids driving, I worry about their safety.  Two are great drivers, one is not and has no highway experience right now.  I'm nervous when the time comes that he has to drive on the highway.

 

 

[Sara in AZ]

There was that one time when I was 16 on a big road trip with my family and my dad let me drive the 12 passenger van towing a tent trailer on a 5 lane freeway through the middle of St. Louis. 😳😳😳 That was scary! But now I'm fine on freeways, unless I'm in LA. That is not fine!

 

I have a couple of sister in laws who hate freeway driving, though. They avoid it if at all possible and that is fine, too. One lives Manhatton, though, so not a problem. And the other lives in a not too big city where it's fairly easy to avoid. The third sister in law doesn't even drive, those GG it would make her life hugely more convenient. So everybody's different.

Edited August 6, 2016 by Sara in AZ

[kitten18]

No, I'm not bothered by busy roads and I live close to L.A.

 

DH and I both grew up in smallish towns in Nebraska then we lived in a large city for 9 years before we moved here. I think we're confident drivers because we started young.

We will have our children driving as soon as legally possible (I think it's 15.5 here for a learners' permit).

I encounter so many people here who are scared to drive and all of them didn't learn until they were 18+.

[poppy]

I frequently avoid the highway in Boston. Thank goodness for Garmins 'avoid highways ' option. There is always a way around , even to things like the airport.

 

Visiting family in the country I don't mind the highway. When I was young I was nervous about riding on interstates with lots of big rig traffic. Now I think those guys are much safer than random cars. They can see ahead , don't take foolish risks and don't text at 80mph!

[Jean in Newcastle]

I like to drive.  I like to drive on the highway.  In fact, I prefer driving many times because I know that I'm a good driver and I like being in control of the car.  I'm not always thrilled with traffic but I can deal or if it is local, I know all sorts of "shortcuts" (though they aren't necessarily quick).  If I have stress on the highway it is because I miscalculated on how long it would take me, so I know that I'm going to be late to my destination. 

 

Ds only has his permit at this point but he does pretty well on the highway. 

[Mabelen]

I don't mind the highway per se. Several people mentioned L.A. highways. I am fine navigating those. I don't get anxious, I get tired of getting stuck in traffic. What I don't like is driving in bad weather conditions, especially ice, but Southern California doesn't know much about that! I don't like narrow mountain roads either like we have in Europe. I am sure there are some like that in the U.S. but I have managed to avoid them so far.

 

As far as kids, only my 19 year old is of driving age. She is still fairly inexperienced so I would be a little anxious.

[frogger]

I don't worry about highways/ freeways. I worry more about teens running over my or other children in our neighborhood because they have to go 15-20 over the speed limit in a little residential area. I worry about their safety because the same type of drivers will pass a cyclist 1 or 2 feet from their shoulder while cycling. Even on the bike trail cars come flying off the highway smashing into the fence on the other side of the bike trail. I also worry about people passing on two way highways and having a head on with me when I come around a corner. Unsafe passing is a huge killer where I live. Perhaps I'm scarred from seeing the body bags lined up on the road when I was a teen. But a regular freeways with all people in vehicles going the same direction. No, I don't worry about that.

[regentrude]

I love driving on country highways and deserted interstates (think middle of Kansas), but I am very nervous about driving on highways in large cities - many lanes and lots of traffic make me anxious, because there I feel more at the mercy of other drivers.

I usually let DH drive those stretches. Over the past year, however, I have made a conscious effort to do more of those drives to get used to it, because I don't like how my anxiety is limiting me. I noticed that it gets better with exposure and that I feel empowered when I made a drive I was afraid of. I think that my coping mechanism of letting DH drive was not a suitable tool to actually overcome the anxiety, so I am trying to face the problem. Still a ways to go.

 

My kids know that I am nervous about driving in cities, but they also know that their dad isn't, and both are good, confident drivers. It is one of those quirks mom has, and does not rub off on them.

I was nervous the first time my kids drove in the city, but have gotten used to it.

Edited August 6, 2016 by regentrude

[Closeacademy]

I haven't driven on the interstate since 1995.  I find alternate routes or another driver if I need to go to the big city.  It does mean that we've missed out on big field trips to places a couple of hours away but I don't know that we've missed much.

 

As for my kids. They have their Dad as a role model and one will probably be OK.  The other doesn't want to learn to drive and would be suited to the life of a hermit.

[G5052]

I've lived in a major metropolitan area for 20+ years, and it doesn't bother me any more. We're more on the outskirts now, but city driving doesn't bother me because I've done so much of it. I know some in my area who will stay home rather than deal with it though. I seem to always get tapped for the city field trips and such.

 

When we went to the Bay Area on vacation, I did have one of the DC serve as navigator so that they could clue me on what was coming up beyond what Google gave.

 

My oldest has been driving for two years and is still isn't quite up to the really fast, packed freeways, but he can manage if he has to. He just needs more practice. Most of the time he's just dealing with highways and some traffic, but just moderate IMHO.

 

So no, it doesn't bother me. It's a must to learn to deal with it in our area.  

Edited August 6, 2016 by G5052

[catz]

I live in a city.  I have driven in LA, Bay Area, other major metros.  I'm fine with it.  If I know traffic will be stop and go I will often take side roads over just sitting on the freeway in traffic.  I swear while I'm driving on occasion but more out of habit than actual stress or anger.  LOL.  There are many self involved people on the roads.

 

My son just finished driver's ed and will test for his permit in the next few days.  I'm a little twitchy about him starting to drive at all, but he is kind of a conservative old man in a 15 year old body so I think it will be fine with enough practice. :D

 

If it really causes difficult anxiety for you, I'd look at treatment. (and I have been treated for anxiety and PPD)

Edited August 6, 2016 by WoolySocks

[SparklyUnicorn]

I used to not mind it when I did it regularly.  Now I just don't.  So yeah I don't relish the idea for sure. 

 

 

[Rachel]

I don't mind driving on the highway. I think it's like anything, you need practice to feel comfortable. I moved from South Dakota (no traffic anywhere) to a much more populated area. On the way we went through Cincinnati. I don't remember being stressed but my brother thought I was.

 

A few years later I was in Cincinnati with my brother again. He commented, "Wow, you are so much more relaxed now than the last time I was with you."

 

I know I will be nervous about my kids driving eventually but I have 7-8 years.