Seeking parenting advice re road trip -- UPDATED: THE RV IS HERE!!!

[SeaConquest]

I'm looking for input from the experienced parents of older kids. I have two boys, both extremely extroverted and social, currently ages 7.5 and almost 3 (going into 2nd grade and PK3). My husband and I would like to buy a 5th wheel and take two years to travel around the U.S. and Canada, to see the National Parks, sites of historical/cultural interest, museums, etc.

 

We are trying to decide the best time to go on the trip, or whether we should go at all, given our kids' personalities. When we asked our oldest about leaving on the trip, his biggest concern is being lonely and away from his friends. Both kids are very involved in extracurriculars -- soccer, music, theatre, camps, etc. -- and are used to being very "scheduled." Given that we live in an urban area, they are not used to being free range (unfortunately, they can't even do things like ride bikes in the neighborhood), which is one of the things we would really like for them to experience.

 

We already took off a year, when my oldest was 4-5, to live in Mexico for a year (where little brother was born), and my oldest was frequently bored and lonely. He also barely remembers living there, which is one of our concerns about leaving when youngest is too little. What's the point if they don't even remember it?

 

On the other hand, oldest is currently at least two years accelerated in most subjects (with science and programming being the outliers, where he is working at a higher level). My concern is that, if we wait too long, oldest will be taking higher level online classes that will have more rigorous workloads (he is already taking 4 online classes next year -- his choice), and I am concerned that he will become even more attached to his friends and ECs.

 

So, experienced parents, do we go on this trip with these kids, and if so, when? I would love to hear your thoughts, especially if you are the parent of a very social kid who enjoys being involved in a lot of activities.

 

Thanks so much for any input!

 

UPDATE:

So, thank you all for the feedback in this thread. It gave my DH and I a lot to chew on the past few days.

We are meeting with our CPA on Friday to go over everything, but I think that we are going to take the plunge! We have been looking at trucks, which has been a hilarious process in San Diego. They look at you like you have three heads if you ask to see an enormous dually truck. :)

It looks like we are either going to Boise (can visit my Dad) or to Texas (can watch USC beat up Alabama in our season opener) to buy the truck/trailer. We currently have a couple of dealerships that are competing against each other. The current plan is to go pick it up and bring it back to CA around Labor Day. We have a reservation at an RV park near us from September through January, and will play it by ear after that.

I am both excited and nervous!!

UPDATE TWO ON 8/12:

We bought a 5th wheel and a truck!!!

Before getting detailed:

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10153886818838261&set=p.10153886818838261&type=3&theater&viewas=100000686899395

Driving home from the dealership at 11pm:

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10153887635888261&set=p.10153887635888261&type=3&theater&viewas=100000686899395

The 5th wheel:

http://www.heartlandrvs.com/brands/fifthwheels/gateway/gw-3700-ptb

We decided to get a smaller bunkhouse (41 feet) versus a toy hauler (44 feet), which enabled us to stick with a single rear wheel truck vs. the dually:

It is a brand new 2017 model, going on the assembly line at the end of August, and scheduled to be shipped to us in mid-September (it is coming from Michigan, so we decided to have it shipped). We are taking a week's vacation with the kids out to the Anza-Borrego State Park (a Dark Sky site) and Joshua Tree National Park as a shakedown trip before arriving at Campland in late September. Our reservation at Campland is through Memorial Day, so we will be in San Diego at least until then, taking weekend and holiday trips to see how we like it.

Worst case, we sell it and buy a house. The kids are very excited, as are we. :)

UPDATE THREE ON 9/15:

Our new home on wheels arrived at the dealership today. She is scheduled to arrive in San Diego by the end of next week! I can't believe that we are actually doing this!

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10154001289778261&set=a.10150168523243261.307010.585033260&type=3&theater

Edited September 23, 2016 by SeaConquest

[justasque]

Question - why does it have to be all-or-nothing?  Could you compromise and take long trips on a regular basis?  Perhaps start by visiting areas within a day's drive from home?  You could rent an RV, which would help you get an idea of what features you like and what you don't need in a future purchase.  And the kids could get a feel for the lifestyle, and begin to learn ways to entertain themselves and otherwise get something out of the trips.  Just something to consider, before going all-in.

[MerryAtHope]

I think I'd make plans to go sooner rather than later.

 

You don't know what the future holds--putting it off until a "perfect time" may mean there is no perfect time.

 

I have memories back to age 2. Just because your oldest isn't able to voice a lot of memories, doesn't mean he doesn't have them (they may be vague or difficult to put into words, for example)--and if he really doesn't have them, it also doesn't mean that your youngest's memory will be the same way. 

 

Kids' activities tend to increase as they age--it's not going to get "easier." 

 

I personally wouldn't care about "boredom." I think boredom is good for kids--it fosters creativity and thinking and exploration, and helps them learn how to occupy themselves rather than always having to have activities, people, or electronics to occupy them. But I would come up with boredom buster ideas of things they CAN do--and I'd also offer chores for really bored kids. (LOL, my kids always found something to do if I had chore suggestions!)

 

Sounds like a great thing to do, anyway! Hope you can!

 

[SeaConquest]

Question - why does it have to be all-or-nothing?  Could you compromise and take long trips on a regular basis?  Perhaps start by visiting areas within a day's drive from home?  You could rent an RV, which would help you get an idea of what features you like and what you don't need in a future purchase.  And the kids could get a feel for the lifestyle, and begin to learn ways to entertain themselves and otherwise get something out of the trips.  Just something to consider, before going all-in.

 

Good point. Yes, this is what we are planning to do this year. We wanted to wait until youngest was solidly potty trained, which he is. We've been looking at RVs for the past year, and have been experienced boaters for the last 10 years, so we have a pretty good idea of what we want.

 

That reminds me: DH would also like to buy a barge or sail our boat to experience the canals of Europe for a year. I am down with the idea, but want the boys to be much older, if we do that trip. So, my thought is to do the RV thing first, then do the canals when they are older and can help crew/will appreciate Europe more/are old enough for me to let wander while we drink wine. ;)

Edited July 14, 2016 by SeaConquest

[Rebel Yell]

Other.

 

Why not give it a trial run of 2-3 months in between sport seasons or theatre shows? OR plan to stay in one location for a show that has a short rehearsal schedule (meaning all rehearsals/shows are done in the span of 6-8 weeks, he could do a distance or video audition before you head off?)

 

I would not take kids that age who are heavily involved and loving their activities away from all of that for 2 years unless I could incorporate their activities into the trip.

[SeaConquest]

Other.

 

Why not give it a trial run of 2-3 months in between sport seasons or theatre shows? OR plan to stay in one location for a show that has a short rehearsal schedule (meaning all rehearsals/shows are done in the span of 6-8 weeks, he could do a distance or video audition before you head off?)

 

I would not take kids that age who are heavily involved and loving their activities away from all of that for 2 years unless I could incorporate their activities into the trip.

 

Interesting. I hadn't thought of that.

 

To be honest, they still seem so young to me. So, they haven't really settled on activities that they love. I think of them as still being in the dabbling stage at this age. That's part of why I think it is better to go sooner. Neither one is old enough to really be competitive in any of these activities yet. What I notice about my oldest is that it isn't that he loves soccer because of soccer; he just loves being with other kids on a regular basis. I am concerned that the hello-goodbye nature of friendships made on the road will not be satisfying to him.

Edited July 14, 2016 by SeaConquest

[SeaConquest]

From a practical perspective, we can't really do a trial run with an enormous truck and rig. We really have to commit to going if we are going to spend that kind of money. And, I won't be happy going full-time in anything too claustrophobic and without modern conveniences. A weekend is one thing, full time living is another.

[ktgrok]

I could do it now with my current 3 year old. I couldn't have done it when my oldest was 3. It depends on the nature of the child. And how helpful the older ones are. My 6 yr old is a little mother and is fine supervising her little brother for brief periods of time, say while we set up a tent camping or whatever. She knows to stay where we can see her, and will yell if he takes off. That kind of thing. Or can help him brush teeth and get ready for bed. 

[3 ladybugs]

I have been looking at RV's for the better part of a year and I am SURE that there are ones that would work for you on a short basis. There is one out there that I can think of that has everything we would need (my boys are the same age as yours) and has WAY more storage then is needed for a weekend. So that might be a good fit for you. You could store an RV at a storage facility an hour or 2 from your house when you are not using it. You would still need the truck to pull whatever, but that would be it. 

 

I personally would jump at doing this sooner rather then later. Yeah the youngest may not get everything out of it, but your oldest should be able to make friends in most campgrounds. We have, and we just tent camp right now. 

 

If you want to see MANY RV's in person, there is a HUGE RV show in September in Hershey, PA. They say it is the largest in the country, but I am not sure about that. We went to it last year, and we are going again this year. We will not buy right now, but it does get us thinking about things every time we go. Not to mention it is all LOW pressure as people go there just to look around. 

 

Good luck!

 

ETA be careful about how big of a rig you get if you go to a national park. Many can't take the really large rigs. They just can't fit with the trees and what not... at least that is what I have been told. 

Edited July 14, 2016 by 3 ladybugs

[katilac]

I think an extended road trip like that sounds great for adults with wanderlust, but lonely and unsettling for many kids. And yours are pretty far apart in age, so it's not like they will have a built-in friend traveling with them. 

 

Like justasque, I wonder if it has to be all or nothing? It does get harder to take extended trips as they older, but does it have to be two years of travel all at once? I'd look hard at breaking it up over the next several years. You can still do long trips as opposed to a week or two of vacation, but 2-3-4 months would probably be much easier for the kids to handle, particularly if they get to come back to "home base" in between. 

 

 

 

 

[Tap]

If you want to do, it just do it now.  The youngest won't remember much but he won't really benefit any more, from being home.   Maybe when he is older, you can do a trip that is more age appropriate for him at that time.

 

We lived in 6 states in 6 years when I was 10yo to 16yo. We spent time traveling and moving from state to state.  I liked traveling at the time, but I can see that it also had negative consequences to how I relate to people.  I don't get attached, and consider friendships transient.  

 

Dh has 3 best friends that he has had since middle school or shortly after. He has a Facebook list, full of school friends.  I don't even remember the names of people I went to middle school with.   I only know a few people from high school. I didn't really try to find good friends, because I always figured I would be moving away and not staying in touch. This is pretty common in military brats too. 

 

I would suggest having a home base to come back to.  Some place permanent that you visit on occasion, or for a sports season.  

Edited July 14, 2016 by Tap

[SeaConquest]

I have been looking at RV's for the better part of a year and I am SURE that there are ones that would work for you on a short basis. There is one out there that I can think of that has everything we would need (my boys are the same age as yours) and has WAY more storage then is needed for a weekend. So that might be a good fit for you. You could store an RV at a storage facility an hour or 2 from your house when you are not using it. You would still need the truck to pull whatever, but that would be it. 

 

I personally would jump at doing this sooner rather then later. Yeah the youngest may not get everything out of it, but your oldest should be able to make friends in most campgrounds. We have, and we just tent camp right now. 

 

If you want to see MANY RV's in person, there is a HUGE RV show in September in Hershey, PA. They say it is the largest in the country, but I am not sure about that. We went to it last year, and we are going again this year. We will not buy right now, but it does get us thinking about things every time we go. Not to mention it is all LOW pressure as people go there just to look around. 

 

Good luck!

 

We have been to several RV shows, and the kids love it. They are so fun. We really have been researching rigs for over a year and are pretty sold on what we want. For anyone curious, it is this: 

 

The video seems to be starting in the middle for me, not sure why. So, you might need to back it up.

 

Let me just say that I am not a camper; BTDT in the Army, it is not for me. You can convince me to go glamping in a modern RV, with all the amenities, but I refuse to rough it. Our boat is pretty much a floating condo as well. So, while I am used to living in tight spaces, I fully realize that I am quite the princess about it. (Please don't throw internet tomatoes!) :) So, getting something small is not really an option; we either go big or go home, so to speak. 

Edited July 14, 2016 by SeaConquest

[MinivanMom]

I voted for when the youngest is 6-7 just based on the logistics of that kind of travel and the likelihood of memories.

 

I also don't think it has to be all or nothing. We have friends who did the same thing, and they timed their trip for Jan-Aug. That way their boys were only taking the spring and summer seasons off from activities. They were not normally homeschoolers, but homeschooled that spring semester. Some other ideas:

-What if you only did a single year? I would vote for 1st/5th before the intensity of middle school activities.

-What if you did two seasons traveling followed by a season at home with their regular friends and activities? You could do that 2 years in a row, and it could be the balance between stability and adventure.

-What if you thought of the online classes as a way to maintain connection during the years traveling? From that perspective, the online classes could be social connection for your sons during the months away.

 

I would try very hard to do this before the oldest hits middle school age. That's when it might get very hard.

[ktgrok]

I realized I didn't clarify, but if you can manage the youngest and he won't be awful, I'd go now. You can always re-evaluate after a year. As for friends, can he set up an email account, and maybe a blog or something, the oldest? With your help? Maybe even make up some kind of business card to hand out or flyer, to new friends. Without his full name, obviously, but just his nick name and email or something, which you would monitor, so he can keep up with the people he meets on the road? 

[SeaConquest]

I voted for when the youngest is 6-7 just based on the logistics of that kind of travel and the likelihood of memories.

 

I also don't think it has to be all or nothing. We have friends who did the same thing, and they timed their trip for Jan-Aug. That way their boys were only taking the spring and summer seasons off from activities. They were not normally homeschoolers, but homeschooled that spring semester. Some other ideas:

-What if you only did a single year? I would vote for 1st/5th before the intensity of middle school activities.

-What if you did two seasons traveling followed by a season at home with their regular friends and activities? You could do that 2 years in a row, and it could be the balance between stability and adventure.

-What if you thought of the online classes as a way to maintain connection during the years traveling? From that perspective, the online classes could be social connection for your sons during the months away.

 

I would try very hard to do this before the oldest hits middle school age. That's when it might get very hard.

 

This is actually why he is loving his Athena's classes, and asked for more this year. It's the social aspect of it that he loves. He would maintain his classes at AAA/OG3, WTMA, AOPS, etc. while on the road. Oldest is very technologically savvy, so could see him skyping with friends back home, playing online videos games with them, etc. Youngest is a more kinesthetic adrenaline junkie, like his father. I see him really loving this.

[3 ladybugs]

Do you need a toy hauler? You didn't say anything about that that read... did I miss something?

 

This is what I was thinking of: 

 

 

[SeaConquest]

I realized I didn't clarify, but if you can manage the youngest and he won't be awful, I'd go now. You can always re-evaluate after a year. As for friends, can he set up an email account, and maybe a blog or something, the oldest? With your help? Maybe even make up some kind of business card to hand out or flyer, to new friends. Without his full name, obviously, but just his nick name and email or something, which you would monitor, so he can keep up with the people he meets on the road? 

 

Youngest is definitely a spirited handful, but not because he is a dependent baby. He is quite the opposite -- just such a fearless explorer and adventurer, like his father. Having said that, both of them can be easily amused by videos and games, if we need the electronic babysitters to entertain them while we get things done. Youngest is actually amazingly good at playing older brother's WiiU games and was riding a regular pedal bike without training wheels at age 2.5. Our biggest issue with him is keeping him from killing himself because he is so fearless. Older brother is much more cautious, and is good about watching out for the little one. 

Edited July 14, 2016 by SeaConquest

[SeaConquest]

Do you need a toy hauler? You didn't say anything about that that read... did I miss something?

 

This is what I was thinking of: 

 

We don't need a toy hauler. We started out looking at travel trailers (which are harder to pull) and 5th wheel bunkhouses. But, after researching RVs, and following along on the full-time families FB group, we came to like toy haulers better because of their versatility. People can turn them into anything. We love the back and side patios. They give so much light and make boondocking easier. Also, I can imagine my husband eventually wanting to get some toys -- whether jet skis or something else fun. I put my foot down on motorcycles, though.

Edited July 14, 2016 by SeaConquest

[3 ladybugs]

Yes 5th wheels are easier to pull. We have had both in my family. My grandparents had RV's from the 40's to the 90's so I have been around them most of my life. My mom also had a 5th wheel and then a motor home at one point. 

 

Some bumper pull trailers, I am thinking of Jayco, have systems in them to make them pull better. There is a video talking about the trade offs of 5th wheel vs bumper pull... 

 

I would imagine that there is a learning curve in what ever you haul though. 

 

 

[Spryte]

I can't help with logistics, which rig etc - but I think it sounds like a blast.

 

If you haven't already, read aloud the Wright on Time series - homeschoolers traveling in their RV. Might make your oldest more interested. :)

[SKL]

Good question.  My kids remember some of the things we did on our travels, but not all of them.  I don't think they remember any of the travels we did when they were preschool age.  I would want to do the kind of travel you plan at an age when they would be able to learn and retain some of the local history, geology, etc. of each place we visited.  So I would probably wait at least another couple of years.

 

I would also probably break it up into several shorter trips.

 

My kids are also very active in extracurriculars and with friends.  However, when we travel, it's generally such a whirlwind that they don't miss their everyday activities much.  We work in physical activities on the trips, so they continue to learn and stay fit.  As far as friends, if you are gone a long time, perhaps you could keep up correspondence via facebook / email / snail mail.

[regentrude]

We have traveled extensively, but never for such a long period of time. After a few weeks, kids were missing friends and routine. Two months was beyond that limit, and it got worse the older they got.

We did have routine when we lived overseas for seven months, but it took DD (12 at that time) several months to find friends, and DS (10) never found any; he still talks about this being a miserable experience.

 

I could have done this with my kids in preschool and early elementary age; 10 and 12 was not ideal. And later age requires definite buy-in from the kids.

 

Edited July 14, 2016 by regentrude

[SeaConquest]

We have traveled extensively, but never for such a long period of time. After a few weeks, kids were missing friends and routine. Two months was beyond that limit, and it got worse the older they got.

We did have routine when we lived overseas for seven months, but it took DD (12 at that time) several months to find friends, and DS (10) never found any; he still talks about this being a miserable experience.

 

I could have done this with my kids in preschool and early elementary age; 10 and 12 was not ideal. And later age requires definite buy-in from the kids.

 

This is a real concern for me. It feels like sooner rather than later is going to be easier.

 

The issue that we have with doing short trips throughout the year vs. leaving for a year or two is that we would have to maintain a residence in San Diego to come back to. That is currently a $2100/month proposition, and we only live in a two bedroom apartment. We have tried to buy a home with my VA loan, but the market is currently so hot, that no one wants to deal with VA loans -- not when you have 10 offers over list price, several paying all cash, and can close quickly without the hassles of all the VA requirements. Even if we did buy, there is no guarantee that you can AirBnB the thing every time you want to leave.  

 

So, this is a plan we are thinking about for tax purposes as well -- a huge dually we can write off as equipment for my husband's marine business and the 5th wheel interest is a second home mortgage deduction. If we don't get something in place by the end of 2016, we are going to get killed by taxes.  

[whitestavern]

How active do you plan to be? We did this when our kids were 11 and 13. We spent somewhat long days hiking and exploring national parks and museums, etc. Do your kids have a lot of stamina and energy? I'd also want to be sure they were good on long car drives, done with naps, well behaved at restaurants, etc.

 

ETA: just saw the length of your trip. We only did six weeks. I don't think I could do two years. I could definitely do several long trips over a two year period but not all at once.

Edited July 14, 2016 by whitestavern

[ktgrok]

Instead of maintaining a residence, could you come back to a nearby RV park to visit friends and family every 4 months or so?

[J-rap]

I'd do it when your kids are in 5th and 6th grades, and I'd only do it for one year, not two.

 

They'll actually remember it if you wait till 5th grade or so, yet they'll be home by 7th grade which is when so many extra-curricular type activities for kids really kick into gear.

 

 

[SeaConquest]

How active do you plan to be? We did this when our kids were 11 and 13. We spent somewhat long days hiking and exploring national parks and museums, etc. Do your kids have a lot of stamina and energy? I'd also want to be sure they were good on long car drives, done with naps, well behaved at restaurants, etc.

 

ETA: just saw the length of your trip. We only did six weeks. I don't think I could do two years. I could definitely do several long trips over a two year period but not all at once.

 

The kids and my DH are very active; I am more content to just sit and read. But, I will go along. It's good for me. Nobody naps or tires. The youngest sometimes would have so much energy, we would turn off all the lights and he would still be buzzing around the house in the dark. We'd find him the next morning passed out on the balcony. Thankfully, San Diego is a temperate place.

 

They are fine on drives as long as there are electronics or audiobooks. Restaurants are a normal thing for us as well.

 

Re giving up the apartment and just renting a place in SD when we return, that may or may not work with a vehicle of that size. Campland on the Bay is within spitting distance of us in Mission Bay, but they generally book up over a year out. Same with the other nice place in Santee Lakes. SD is a major travel destination for snowbirds and tourists pretty much year-round. 

Edited July 14, 2016 by SeaConquest

[luuknam]

If you want the youngest to have memories, you're going to have to wait a few years (the older they are, the better, wrt memories). That said, it doesn't sound like this would be your once-in-a-lifetime kind of trip, since you're also planning on going to boat around Europe, and have done a year in Mexico, and all that. So, I wouldn't necessarily care that much about whether the youngest remembers much, in which case, go whenever works best for you.

 

And going sooner rather than later has the advantage of not risking stuff happening to you or your husband that ruins your plans. Most people are fine throughout their 30s-40s, but for example my best friend's mom got breast cancer around 40yo, and then it recurred at 42 or so and she died when she was 43, and my aunt (luckily not a blood relative of mine) got diagnosed with Parkinson's when she was 40yo (and had been symptomatic for a while before they figured that out). Her youngest was born when she was 22 or so, so she didn't have to worry about little kids, but she'd planned on traveling after the kids were grown, and that never happened. And, there are a million other things that can happen to people that make travel hard or less fun or impossible.

 

I think most kids are adaptable, and will get used to any living conditions, so I'm not too worried about the kids not liking it.

[Tap]

I realized I didn't clarify, but if you can manage the youngest and he won't be awful, I'd go now. You can always re-evaluate after a year. As for friends, can he set up an email account, and maybe a blog or something, the oldest? With your help? Maybe even make up some kind of business card to hand out or flyer, to new friends. Without his full name, obviously, but just his nick name and email or something, which you would monitor, so he can keep up with the people he meets on the road? 

Not to disagree with you, but just to add to this line of thought...

 

When we traveled, I found it really hard to keep up with old friends.  My parents gave me a long distance phone allowance so I could call my friends and keep in touch.  The problem is that your friends continue their life and make new friends.  They still have the sports and regular lives.  When you call them (or text, or Instagram, etc), it can make the one who is away, feel really homesick and left out.  Your get to hear about amazing birthday parties you missed, and backyard water balloon fights.  While you can tell them about seeing the Grand Canyon, and miles and miles of rows of corn.  

Even now, with all the tech available, my dd17 still had this same issue when she changed schools.  It is amazing how fast friendships fade without having the common activities that brought them together in the first place.

 

I loved the time we spent traveling, but just trying to keep in touch with people, can make it harder, not easier sometimes.  

 

With phones, tablets and so many ways to keep in touch now, it does make it easier, but the one traveling is still the odd many out.  Over time, most relationships fade and slowly dissolve because what made you friends in the first place, isn't there any longer. Time zones get in the way of keeping up with friends sometimes too.  

 

If a family does decide to do this, I would encourage them to try to keep a couple of friends who can play online video games together or to find some way for them to actually interact and spend time together doing something online, other than just chatting on Facetime.  

[HSmomof2]

I think an extended road trip like that sounds great for adults with wanderlust, but lonely and unsettling for many kids. And yours are pretty far apart in age, so it's not like they will have a built-in friend traveling with them.

 

Like justasque, I wonder if it has to be all or nothing? It does get harder to take extended trips as they older, but does it have to be two years of travel all at once? I'd look hard at breaking it up over the next several years. You can still do long trips as opposed to a week or two of vacation, but 2-3-4 months would probably be much easier for the kids to handle, particularly if they get to come back to "home base" in between.

ITA^^^

[Seasider]

I would go ASAP. Especially once kids hit middle school (and definitely high school!), their peer relationships and need to be part of a larger social group is a bigger factor. They develop specific interests (and different ones for each kid) that are best pursued from a home base.

 

I wouldn't pass on the opportunity, but I wouldn't wait til they get older to do it. Take lots of pictures, order photo books as you go and then journal in them with sharpie markers. The kids will always have those memories and then will also have a rooted spot in the ms/hs years.

 

That's my pair o'pennies.

[luuknam]

This email list (Families on the Road) seems to be pretty much dead, but you could probably read the archives, and maybe find something similar on facebook or wherever:

 

https://beta.groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/fotr/info

 

Maybe the oldest could find some other kids who are being homeschooled while traveling and be penpals (Skype, or w/e) with them.

[regentrude]

When we traveled, I found it really hard to keep up with old friends.  My parents gave me a long distance phone allowance so I could call my friends and keep in touch.  The problem is that your friends continue their life and make new friends.  They still have the sports and regular lives.  When you call them (or text, or Instagram, etc), it can make the one who is away, feel really homesick and left out.  Your get to hear about amazing birthday parties you missed, and backyard water balloon fights.  While you can tell them about seeing the Grand Canyon, and miles and miles of rows of corn.  

Even now, with all the tech available, my dd17 still had this same issue when she changed schools.  It is amazing how fast friendships fade without having the common activities that brought them together in the first place.

 

 

That has been my experience as well. The one who went away is the one who is forgotten - the  others just carry on as usual.

It can be very lonely.

For middle grades children, I highly doubt they can maintain a friendship via occasional email or text. That is hard for grownups, and usually does not work very well even for them.

Edited July 14, 2016 by regentrude

[JumpyTheFrog]

Are you doing this largely to save on taxes and rent?

[Ravin]

I would do it when the youngest is old enough that he might remember, and old enough that he and your older one will be able to have fun together--he's still a bit young for that, but you don't want your older one to be too deep in his teens.

 

Also, if your older is accelerated, a couple of years of largely unschooling with less structure may do him some good academically--he will be at an age to start really sinking his teeth into interesting things in the world around him. Also, it will give him some time to mature before hitting high school if it slows him down (some kids won't be slowed down at all by such an excursion).

[Seasider]

We have been to several RV shows, and the kids love it. They are so fun. We really have been researching rigs for over a year and are pretty sold on what we want. For anyone curious, it is this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vPNI56a3e4

 

The video seems to be starting in the middle for me, not sure why. So, you might need to back it up.

 

Let me just say that I am not a camper; BTDT in the Army, it is not for me. You can convince me to go glamping in a modern RV, with all the amenities, but I refuse to rough it. Our boat is pretty much a floating condo as well. So, while I am used to living in tight spaces, I fully realize that I am quite the princess about it. (Please don't throw internet tomatoes!) :) So, getting something small is not really an option; we either go big or go home, so to speak.

That's it. I'm putting the house on the market.

 

Seriously, I am excited for you!

[SeaConquest]

Are you doing this largely to save on taxes and rent?

 

Not at all. It's been on the back burner as an idea for awhile. I am just saying that we will be using the truck and RV as a writeoff for this year. We were thinking that we would just buy something in SD, but that doesn't seem to be playing out in this market. My husband is from Canada, so he thinks the real estate market here is pure insanity, which I suppose it is. I have just seen it this way many times before, so it doesn't phase me.

 

If we aren't going to buy a house, though, we need to do something tax-wise for 2016. So, we were thinking that this might be the right time (financially-speaking) to put the plan in action. My question was: is this the best time for the kids? The consensus seems to be, if you are going to go, go sooner rather than later. 

Edited July 14, 2016 by SeaConquest

[luuknam]

We have been to several RV shows, and the kids love it. They are so fun. We really have been researching rigs for over a year and are pretty sold on what we want. For anyone curious, it is this: 

 

Btw, you'll need a special driver's license to pull that in some states (incl. California). I know a lot of people don't bother, but anyway.

 

http://changingears.com/rv-sec-state-rv-license.shtml

[SeaConquest]

Btw, you'll need a special driver's license to pull that in some states (incl. California). I know a lot of people don't bother, but anyway.

 

http://changingears.com/rv-sec-state-rv-license.shtml

 

Yes, it is a noncommercial class A. Not a big deal. I have to learn to drive the thing anyway. 

[Ottakee]

Hopefully Kinsa will chime in. She has done this. I would ask her about her experience with size...length and height of rigs and pulling them through national parks. Many roads are tight and narrow and twisty.

[Ausmumof3]

It depends a little why you are going. I think either of the first two ages are great. I do think they need to be around five to form memories of trips (just based on personal experience) so it's worth waiting for that. Not that trips with younger kids are worthless as I think they form something else in the same way all early life experiences shape kids even when they don't actually remember.

 

After 12 or so it gets harder with classes, jobs and kids having their own busy lives. As far as being extroverted travelling is a great chance to meet new people and make new friends.

[ktgrok]

Not to disagree with you, but just to add to this line of thought...

 

When we traveled, I found it really hard to keep up with old friends.  My parents gave me a long distance phone allowance so I could call my friends and keep in touch.  The problem is that your friends continue their life and make new friends.  They still have the sports and regular lives.  When you call them (or text, or Instagram, etc), it can make the one who is away, feel really homesick and left out.  Your get to hear about amazing birthday parties you missed, and backyard water balloon fights.  While you can tell them about seeing the Grand Canyon, and miles and miles of rows of corn.  

Even now, with all the tech available, my dd17 still had this same issue when she changed schools.  It is amazing how fast friendships fade without having the common activities that brought them together in the first place.

 

I loved the time we spent traveling, but just trying to keep in touch with people, can make it harder, not easier sometimes.  

 

 

 

I actually meant as a way to keep in touch with new friends, made while camping. But I see your point. 

[Janie Grace]

I voted don't go -- sorry if that's wet blanket-ish of me. I think two years is a LONG time to not be settled. It just doesn't seem intrinsically *good* for kids/families to be on the go for that long. I am sure there are many people with wonderful memories of being itinerant for 2+ years but in my experience, a stable home place (with plenty of shorter-term adventures) is the way to go. Just from your siggy, your 7.5 year-old does more activities than most 12yos I know. Will he/you really be happy without them? I think his friends will "move on" and he will be lonely and restless.

 

I think long family trips are great. But I think two years of being on the move is too much (for social, involved kids -- if they were super introverted and weren't connected to your current community, I might feel differently). Just my two cents.

[SeaConquest]

I voted don't go -- sorry if that's wet blanket-ish of me. I think two years is a LONG time to not be settled. It just doesn't seem intrinsically *good* for kids/families to be on the go for that long. I am sure there are many people with wonderful memories of being itinerant for 2+ years but in my experience, a stable home place (with plenty of shorter-term adventures) is the way to go. Just from your siggy, your 7.5 year-old does more activities than most 12yos I know. Will he/you really be happy without them? I think his friends will "move on" and he will be lonely and restless.

 

I think long family trips are great. But I think two years of being on the move is too much (for social, involved kids -- if they were super introverted and weren't connected to your current community, I might feel differently). Just my two cents.

 

Wet blanket lives matter! 

 

Ok, bad joke. I really do appreciate all the input.

 

I asked oldest about it again today, and he was equally wet blankety about leaving SD. He said that he really loves his life here.

[mommyoffive]

Such a hard choice. 

 

I have a 2nd grader and we have been talking about moving to another state.  And that child doesn't want to at all.  Which I am surprised by.  We have traveled and I thought they would want to go live some place else, since they have seen some amazing places.  Nope.  They don't want to.  I know they would be fine.  I think as homeschool kids it would be easier to do than if they were in school and so engrossed with their friends. 

 

I don't know what my advice is.  As with everything, I don't think there is a perfect solution. If you go now, your youngest probably wont remember much after a few years.  That doesn't mean you shouldn't go though. 

The older your oldest is, I would think would be harder to tear away from friends, classes, and activities.  

 

I hope you go at some point, because it is such a cool thing to do.

[Guest]

Hopefully Kinsa will chime in. She has done this. I would ask her about her experience with size...length and height of rigs and pulling them through national parks. Many roads are tight and narrow and twisty.

 

I'm here!

 

First of all, lemme say that you will encounter a huge number of naysayers, as this thread has already proven.  (LOL)

 

Secondly, you already know that we did this for 15 months.  We had four teenagers at the time (plus two younger kids).  It was a spectacular experience for our family!  However, I will say that we had total buy-in from our kids.  They are adventurers at heart (much like Mom and Dad), so it didn't take much for us to convince them.  With social media the way it is today, the kids were able to keep in touch with friends every day, and their friends were very excited and interested in where they were and what they were doing that day.  One downside is that my athletic son (now 18 years old) missed an entire season of football.  However, in the long run that didn't really matter all that much.  Also, my kids who were seniors that year (now 20 years old) weren't able to do dual credit, but again, that didn't really matter in the long run.  Overall, I feel there were small trade-offs that we made for a big pay-out.

 

About the RV itself, it is true that many national and state parks can't accommodate larger rigs.  However, almost without exception there is a commercial campground right outside the park entrances that can take the big rigs.  We didn't feel that having a big rig limited us too much in where we were able to go.  We just had to think ahead a little bit and plan accordingly.

 

(And just as an aside, Big Bend National Park, where I now live, can take large rigs at the campground down by the Rio Grande, but only VERY small campers can go up to the campground in the Chisos Mountains.)

 

Now, all that said, keep in mind that I was raised as a military brat, DH has no long-time friends, and our kids have moved every 2 years or so their entire lives.  An important life lesson that we've instilled in our kids is that friends come and go your entire lives, but family stays forever.  So, with that frame of reference, you can see how easy it is for our family to be vagabond-ish.  (LOL)  If that doesn't hold true to you, then of course you would approach this travel scenario differently.  Everyone is different in those regards.

Edited July 15, 2016 by Kinsa

[theelfqueen]

I wanna go!! You're all giving me the wanderlust.

[Pawz4me]

We have a Class A motor home and are currently spending a few days in it on the Outer Banks. The video you posted of the toy hauler you want reminds me of a sign I saw this morning in front of a campsite that read:

 

"RV'ing -- Where you spend a small fortune to live like a homeless person."

 

:lol:

 

I don't think I can give much helpful advice, though. DH loves the idea of full timing for at least a few years. I'm a home body who likes to keep my roots right where they've been planted all my life. The longest trip we took when the boys were younger was three weeks, and all of us enjoyed it but were happy to get back home. The boys were about 11 and 14 at the time.

 

Good luck making your decision!

[mommyoffive]

I just want to say that I do want to do this too.

[SeaConquest]

So, it looks like "go in a year" is tied with "go in four years," with a sizable chunk who think we shouldn't go at all.

 

Parenting is so hard.