DD will be getting her license soon - mace for protection?

[sheryl]

DD will be getting her license soon.  She will be going out a bit more independent of dh and I.  It will not be a lot but still she will go here and there to enter the driving world - driving solo.

 

Is it legal to possess mace?  I know it was the buzz several years ago.  I bought one for me but never had to use it (walking at night, etc). 

 

Where would I buy it?  I'd like it to be sized right to carry from purse to car.  

Edited May 17, 2016 by sheryl

[Bluegoat]

I am not sure learning to drive means needing mace?

[Prairie~Phlox]

You can buy it with the auto stuff at any store, at least that's where I've seen it.  My dd 18 does not carry it and she is out quite a bit, I've thought of it off and on.  Probably wouldn't be a bad idea as she is out and about quite often on her own and works/attends community college.

[MegP]

You can get pepper spray anywhere-Amazon has it and probably Walmart, too. I am not sure what the difference is between mace and pepper spray. You can get pepper spray that goes on your keychain.

[fairfarmhand]

Be aware that it may be illegal for her to carry anything like that on some college campuses. It's illegal on the campus where my dd will be attending.

[Guest]

Get her a nice sturdy maglite for the car. I honestly wouldn't worry about the pepper spray/mace as fumbling through a purse for it isn't really going to help much.

[sunflowerlady]

Yes, I was told that you can get it at Walmart. There is one that clips to the keychain . My teen daughter has a part time job and is often working until late at night. I think I am going to get one for her and one for myself. 

[HeWillSoar]

Also just teach her simple things like always locking car doors, being aware of surroundings and maybe get AAA or have a plan for break downs/accidents.

[G5052]

I'd frankly look into a personal defense course as a more multi-faceted approach. I took one some years ago when I was working in an urban, crime-ridden setting, and at that time they actually recommended a personal alarm that you put into your hand every time you are in a vulnerable position. Mace can be hard to use and even used against you.

 

IMHO that's useful for any young person. Both of mine have been doing martial arts since they were in grade school and are actually instructors at their dojo, and I still made them take a personal defense course. We are very fortunate in our area that there is a former homeschool mom who is a cop that has made this sort of thing into a business. She does courses at the colleges, private schools, and various other places.

 

I'd recommend having her read The Gift of Fear as well. So much is about situational awareness.

[Carol in Cal.]

Mace or pepper spray would kill me.  I have asthma.  Just saying.

[Ravin]

She's going to have a motor vehicle. Mace should not be a necessary item to add to her self defense ability. How is she going to be in any situation more dangerous because she's driving than she would when walking or riding a bicycle? Most new situations will involve driving, in which case she will be behind the wheel of a potentially deadly weapon, so why would she need mace?

[Sarah CB]

If you're that worried about her personal safety, how about some martial arts training? By the time my dd was 13 she could take down a 40 year old black belt man.  After watching the intensive self-defence portion of her black belt test I realized she was capable of handling just about anything that came at her. She's fast and strong and skilled. 

 

I think it's more useful to equip someone with a huge toolbox of self-defence rather than make her reliant on the ability to access a can of mace at the exact moment she's threatened. 

[Carol in Cal.]

Let me make a couple of suggestions for the crucial 'in and out of the car' issue.

 

One is to have a clicker hooked up to the car alarm, and be prepared to set it off as you approach your car.  At a minimum the car alarm will attract people's attention to the car if someone is accosted.

 

Park in an area that will be well lit at night, be aware of this during the day.

 

Keep the doors locked while driving, and the windows pretty far up.  Have AC.

 

Don't open the trunk at night in isolation--put things in the passenger seat instead so you won't be bending into the trunk or the back seat.

 

Don't wear earphones walking to and from the car.

 

Face accosters fearlessly.

[JustEm]

Mace can be helpful but it can also be used against you or even effect you if you are in close proximity to the person you are using it on. Plus, if you aren't trained in self defense most people don't instinctively fight back or think of the tools they have available to help them safely get out of a situation. So she could have mace but never think to use it if she needs it.

 

If your concerned about her safety get her in a self defense class. Not only will it teach her how to get out of a situation if it arises but it will also teach her the best strategies to avoid finding herself in a situation.

[KungFuPanda]

Where the heck is she going that she needs mace?

[Ravin]

People get jumped and robbed in broad daylight quite often. It being dark doesn't make that much of a difference.

[sunflowerlady]

People get jumped and robbed in broad daylight quite often. It being dark doesn't make that much of a difference.

 

 

I do agree with you on this. Plenty dangerous during the day also, unfortunately.

[Ravin]

As someone who started letting my DD use public transit at the age of 10, I have to say, there is no substitute for situational awareness and learning to avoid sketchy situations in the first place.

[lllll]

DD will be getting her license soon.  She will be going out a bit more independent of dh and I.  It will not be a lot but still she will go here and there to enter the driving world - driving solo.

 

Is it legal to possess mace?  I know it was the buzz several years ago.  I bought one for me but never had to use it (walking at night, etc). 

 

Where would I buy it?  I'd like it to be sized right to carry from purse to car.  

 

I have several things of mace which I have in the house, the car, and my purse.  I ordered it from Amazon.  Even the 'bear mace'.  lol

 

I do realize that it would be difficult to get to in a sudden attack.  But I still like having it.  I sometimes have it ready, in my hand, when I know I'll be walking where there are unleashed, big dogs. 

 

I also understand the apprehension about young dd's beginning to drive alone.  I have 3 dd's and I did my best to train them to lock doors, keep windows up or slightly cracked when driving slowly, etc.  (Same with ds's, of course.)  Some of them are better at doing those things than others are.  So I bought them small things of mace.  But they mostly take it when they're walking around the many apartments where they live - for the many dogs, some big ones, unleashed.  Mostly, I told them to use it if they have to, but it's better to be super alert in the first place.  They've had everything from drug dealers to gangs in their apartment complex.  Along with the occasional nutjob, s3x offenders, etc.  They try to be inside well before dark, or, at the very least, not to be outside alone at night.

 

Congratulations to your dd getting her license, btw!!  One of the milestones, eh?  :)  

[HeWillSoar]

I've seen pepper spray at sporting goods stores.

[teachermom2834]

Amazon sells pepper spray.

[Guest]

Be aware that it may be illegal for her to carry anything like that on some college campuses. It's illegal on the campus where my dd will be attending.

Which makes total sense. I mean, crime on a college campus isn't a thing, right?!? Pepper spray on campus, now that could be dangerous!! 🙄🙄🙄

[SparklyUnicorn]

As someone who started letting my DD use public transit at the age of 10, I have to say, there is no substitute for situational awareness and learning to avoid sketchy situations in the first place.

 

I agree.  Pepper spray wouldn't feel like real protection to me.  I'd be more concerned about someone using it on me than me managing to use it on them.

[Haiku]

I would never carry something that could be used against me.

[Mom22ns]

Dd carries pepper spray. We got it on Amazon and she keeps it on her key ring. 

 

After this thread, I'm off to see if she can take it to college with her.

[chiguirre]

When I went to college in a high crime area, we got whistle key chains at move in. They also told us to hold our keys between our fingers because it makes a good weapon in a pinch. It also looks menacing and probably deters muggers. I never needed to use the whistle or the keys although they may have deterred someone without me knowing. Just having your remote control in your hand and ready to activate the panic alarm every time you go to the car is probably enough deterrent.

[plansrme]

I had pepper spray once for a nasty dog, and what I found when I tried to use it was that it sprayed a very small, precise stream, not the big cloud I would have expected. The one I had would have been very difficult to aim at anyone's face. So, that being said, if you are going with a spray, I would get her two and let her practice with one so she knows what to expect.

[SparklyUnicorn]

When I went to college in a high crime area, we got whistle key chains at move in. They also told us to hold our keys between our fingers because it makes a good weapon in a pinch. It also looks menacing and probably deters muggers. I never needed to use the whistle or the keys although they may have deterred someone without me knowing. Just having your remote control in your hand and ready to activate the panic alarm every time you go to the car is probably enough deterrent.

 

I love the whistle idea.

[Joyofsixreboot]

My suggestion instead is a woman's defense class. Ours stressed how to avoid problems to start. They also addressed what to do if that fails. A weapon of any kind without training is often worthless.

[Xahm]

Agreement with those who say pepper spray can work to defend against mean dogs. DH is a police officer and has never effectively used or seen anyone use pepper spray or mace on a human (partly because those physically attacking police officers or random bystanders tend to be drug addled), but it's his go to when a dog is attacking. This may sound cruel to dog lovers, but his choice is that, a taser, or a gun. Against humans good situational awareness, avoiding sketchy activities, and a confident demeanor can be more helpful.

[poppy]

Where on earth is this kid driving? Is she going to be working in a convenience store in Detroit at night?  Bartending in a seedy area of Memphis?

[Guest]

I took a gun safety class a couple of years ago. The instructors recommended that the next class--which was men and women--be a Personal Self Defense class. It included both physical and chemical response. The instructor said he wouldn't give mace/pepper spray to someone without training in its use, and that he wouldn't advise another gun class until one had taken this Self Defense class.

 

Ymmv.

[Guest]

Where on earth is this kid driving? Is she going to be working in a convenience store in Detroit at night? Bartending in a seedy area of Memphis?

Well, I can see the point. I don't live in a seedy area at all. I live in a affluent rural isolated area but bad people are aware it is affluent so it doesn't mean we are immune......so I would be concerned with my daughter driving simply due to that. I would worry more though about making sure she was equipped if the car breaks down- flash light, emergency cell phone charger, pocket knife etc than pepper spray.

[sheryl]

ok folks.  I've read all of your replies.  too many to respond to each one.

 

I have in the past and continue to "teach" awareness of surroundings.  I've taught her that people with bad intentions come in all colors, sizes, genders, etc.  TexasMom33 brought up the point I was trying to make.   Why do you all think she's going to be in a questionable part of the city.  And, I know I'll be jumped on for saying this, but crime also comes in all colors, genders, etc.  Yes, there is high crime in some "mostly" black neighborhoods, but there is high crime in all areas whether they are black, white, wealthy or poor.  Sure the percentage may be higher in one area than in another but in today's world, my opinion is that a person needs to be alert sure but protected.  Protection comes in the form of: air in tires, enough gas in the car and oil and all of the maintenance and mechanics that would render a safe driving vehicle 

 

My Dad (her Grandpa) gave her a whistle when she was a little girl.  She's had this on her bed post for maybe a decade.  She used to wear a whistle around her neck when she was riding her bike outside (as a little girl). 

 

My sister suggested onstar but dh and I talked last week and agreed to add her on AAA.  We've had that for years and now she'll be added.  Yes, park under lights.  Also, experts say to be aware of people hiding on the far side of the vehicle you are parked next to.  And, to the pp that suggested not to hover over an open trunk - thanks!  Excellent tip for anyone, especially at night.

 

But, crimes occur in daylight and night hours. 

As many of you suggested about a self defense class - dh and I talked about that last week too. 

 

Do I expect her to get mugged or heaven forbid worse?  NO.  But, I also want to equip her to the max, not halfway.  I've had mace or pepper spray (I thought they were the same thing) for years.  I've never used it, BUT I have it IF I need it.  And, I was referring to more of one that would slide onto a key ring.

 

My friend's dh is a police officer and I may ask him too!

 

 

[J-rap]

My dd goes to an inner-city college that is sometimes "iffy" at night.  She carries pepper-spray in a lipstick container, like this:

 

http://www.amazon.com/SABRE-RED-Pepper-Spray-Strength/dp/B01EPX5MV4

 

It's legal in our state.  We actually heard a couple of stories in the news here about a some girls in that area who were taking buses in the early evening and were accosted while waiting for the bus.  They pulled out their pepper spray and scared them off!  (These were two, individual cases of girls traveling alone.)  I got my dd the pepper spray right after that!  

[lllll]

Another thing I did with our dc regarding self-defense was watch some DVD's showing situations and possible strategies to defend yourself.  We found some at the library.  It was helpful to see things when we couldn't find classes.

Edited May 18, 2016 by _ ?^..

[Pawz4me]

This is my key ring.  I hope I never need it.  I'm small and getting older every day, so even with it I probably wouldn't stand much of a chance against a man or even a larger woman.  But it makes me feel empowered to have it.  When I was younger I carried pepper spray, but I've never trusted it to be effective.  It definitely wouldn't be my weapon of choice against an aggressive dog.  I agree with others that situational awareness is the most important thing.

 

(ETA:  I'm really not too concerned about personal safety.  I live in a pretty darn safe area.  I bought that key ring a few months ago when I started walking early in the morning at a nearly deserted (of stores) mall.  I didn't know what to expect before I went and I wanted to be prepared.  Turns out the mall is well populated with active senior citizens and early birds getting their walking in before going to work.)

Edited May 18, 2016 by Pawz4me

[poppy]

My point was that there are risks to teaching young women to fear the world.  Just like there are risks to raising young women to be oblivious to dangers.

 

When I went to college, my parents told me so many people suggested they get me some mace or pepper spray, and several said things like "I would never be OK with my daughter in the city, I'd be worried sick all the time".  I went to a woman's college in an affluent area.  Risk of personal safety was fairly low compared to the poor town I grew up in...... but there is this perception that girls alone live in constant risk. (When my brother went to college? Nothing like that.  He's pudgy and has Asperger's.  More of a target than me in almost every way, really.  But....... nothing.)  

 

I used common sense, took a self defense class and had lots of wonderful adventures.  I had friends who wouldn't go out after dark or, if they did, kept their key between two fingers as if they'd use it as a knife if someone suddenly attacked.  It's just silly. Having a weapon you don't really know how to use won't help in an emergency.   Teach adventurousness and smarts, not fear! Is my advice.

 

 

 

 

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

 

I would not buy the mace.

 

Personal experience says it's not much help and many places don't allow mace.

[chiguirre]

My point was that there are risks to teaching young women to fear the world.  Just like there are risks to raising young women to be oblivious to dangers.

 

When I went to college, my parents told me so many people suggested they get me some mace or pepper spray, and several said things like "I would never be OK with my daughter in the city, I'd be worried sick all the time".  I went to a woman's college in an affluent area.  Risk of personal safety was fairly low compared to the poor town I grew up in...... but there is this perception that girls alone live in constant risk. (When my brother went to college? Nothing like that.  He's pudgy and has Asperger's.  More of a target than me in almost every way, really.  But....... nothing.)  

 

I used common sense, took a self defense class and had lots of wonderful adventures.  I had friends who wouldn't go out after dark or, if they did, kept their key between two fingers as if they'd use it as a knife if someone suddenly attacked.  It's just silly. Having a weapon you don't really know how to use won't help in an emergency.   Teach adventurousness and smarts, not fear! Is my advice.

I thoroughly agree about living your life. However, if you have to walk in West Philly late at night, the keys between the fingers signals that you are aware and prepared. It's not meant to be used as a knife, it's to attack someone's eyes or rake their cheeks and cause as much pain as possible. Pawz' key chain is even better but in a pinch your keys will do. I've never had to use them but I lived in West Philly for 5 years and Caracas for 10 and I've never been mugged. I'm not afraid, but it's better to both visually signal your preparedness and actually have some sort of weapon at hand if you need to walk in a dangerous area at night. It's also best to not have anything valuable visible. Hide your jewelry and your phone.

[LucyStoner]

The biggest issue with mace is that in any sort of enclosed or partially enclosed small space you could easily end up macing YOURSELF. Also, if the wind isn't in your favor, same deal. My SIL's sister maced my brother during a custody dispute while she was trying to get my SIL away from my abusive brother. The person who got it worst? Her. Granted my brother ran off (thank goodness) but she ended up in the hospital that night.

I think that physical self defense and deescalation techniques are important. I'm not at all convinced mace is the way to go. I have gotten out of many a hairy moment, including very recently, just by stepping into the person's space with my hands in front of me (which almost always results in them stepping back) and a firm "leave me alone" voice. That has probably been the most helpful take away from my Home Alive trainings 20 odd years ago. I have rarely needed more.

Edited May 18, 2016 by LucyStoner

[Pawz4me]

The biggest issue with mace is that in any sort of enclosed or partially enclosed small space you could easily end up macing YOURSELF. Also, if the wind isn't in your favor, same deal. My SIL's sister maced my brother during a custody dispute while she was trying to get her my SIL away from my abusive brother. The person who got it worst? Her. Granted my brother ran off (thank goodness) but she ended up in the hospital that night.

 

I think that physical self defense and deescalation techniques are important. I'm not at all convinced mace is the way to go. I have gotten out of many a hairy moment, including very recently, just by stepping into the person's space with my hands in front of me (which almost always results in them stapling back) and a firm "leave me alone" voice. That has probably been the most helpful take away from my Home Alive trainings 20 odd years ago. I have rarely needed more.

 

The bolded is one of the main reasons I wouldn't choose mace or pepper spray as a defense against an aggressive dog.  I'm not the type to become panicked by a charging dog, yet at the same time I doubt I'd have enough wits about me (let alone enough time) to be able to consider wind speed and direction before firing off a blast.

[Xahm]

The bolded is one of the main reasons I wouldn't choose mace or pepper spray as a defense against an aggressive dog. I'm not the type to become panicked by a charging dog, yet at the same time I doubt I'd have enough wits about me (let alone enough time) to be able to consider wind speed and direction before firing off a blast.

I haven't seen this scientifically studied, but anecdotally, my husband says that one reason it works better against dogs than humans is because a tiny spritz that only barely affects a person is terrifically painful for a dog due to it's enhanced nasal sensitivity. So if the wind it bad, at least you won't be incapacitated by a full dose like you would if you were using it against a person. Of course, he has had real training, so that helps him quickly think of these things in the moment.

[Danestress]

I used to carry it on my keychain. I don't anymore. I felt the odds of it helping were outweighed by risks. It isn't effective enough to incapacitate, it might just enrage a guy who only wanted my hand bag, it's not likely to help much against someone carrying a gun, it might hurt me more than him. Also, it was embarrassing that one time I left it on the table at the library when I went for a bathroom break and another student picked it up and sprayed it. He was an exchange student who had no idea what it was! They had to clear the area.

Edited May 19, 2016 by Danestress