So I found a toddler wondering around a parking lot yesterday

[ErinE]

I find that people are reluctant to touch other people's kids. 

 

My middle dd was a runner, and at times she took off and I couldn't catch her - I had a baby in arms or was pregnant.  She would run by people who easily could have stopped her, but they didn't - they sometimes looked like they were thinking about it, but then they refrained.  Once even when she bolted out a door.

 

I really wished a few times that someone would just grab her arm or something, but I don't blame them really, some people get upset by that sort of thing.

 

If I see an obvious runner, I stoop down and spread my arms, saying "Be careful! Don't run too fast." Two of my kids thus far have been runners and I wish people would just head them off. They don't need to grab them, just get on their level and spread out.

[unsinkable]

Well, I *think* I'm the only one who has done anything close to a blow-by-blow so I'm pretty sure you're talking about me.

 

I think you're misunderstanding me, but I don't think that actually matters, because you seem to follow me everywhere making these statements. But in the off-chance that you are actually misunderstanding...

 

I don't think the OP did anything wrong overall. I think she in part reacted without fully thinking-through when she spoke to the mother - which is understandable under the circumstances but after giving it some time, maybe she can also see why the mother reacted how she did & have some understanding there. I am glad that she did what she did. She seemed unsure of how things had played-out and I was trying to figure out what she thought should have happened. Just trying, apparently badly, to add some clarity.

I was speaking about all the critical posts as a whole...it's pretty ugly that someone RESCUED A BABY and is criticized for it...if I wanted to address someone in particular, I would have done so.

 

You can be assured that I'm not "following you everywhere making these statements."

[mommymilkies]

Some people are just oblivious.  We were at the Ren Faire last month and there were two very little kids hanging out in the walking area.  I thought they were children of the vendor's as the vendor was standing outside close to them.  I was keeping an eye on my own little one and a friend with me stopped and knelt down to the kids. I hadn't paid much attention but he said he KNEW they were lost and could just see it in their eyes.  Indeed, they were.  We stopped and asked a security guard, vendors, passers by, waved around, asked the kids who their parents were, what they looked like...turns out the dad was about 15 feet away watching us the entire time and unconcerned by the crowd of worried people around his 1-4 year old kids that were crying.  The mom came out of a shop and looked for them and they came over and acted like no big deal.  We were all very upset by it.  I was mad I hadn't noticed at first, as a mother, and even more upset that the father was unconcerned.  Some people just are entirely clueless.

[Tsuga]

How fortunate you found him!

 

My second was like that. I wasn't prepared because my first, though a runner and a climber, was not as... stealthy.  My guess is that this mom was not used to the little one getting so fast and just couldn't imagine him getting out of the store, just like you couldn't. Well, now she knows what kind of little Houdini she has on her hands! I wish her good luck.

[SKL]

Some people are just oblivious.  We were at the Ren Faire last month and there were two very little kids hanging out in the walking area.  I thought they were children of the vendor's as the vendor was standing outside close to them.  I was keeping an eye on my own little one and a friend with me stopped and knelt down to the kids. I hadn't paid much attention but he said he KNEW they were lost and could just see it in their eyes.  Indeed, they were.  We stopped and asked a security guard, vendors, passers by, waved around, asked the kids who their parents were, what they looked like...turns out the dad was about 15 feet away watching us the entire time and unconcerned by the crowd of worried people around his 1-4 year old kids that were crying.  The mom came out of a shop and looked for them and they came over and acted like no big deal.  We were all very upset by it.  I was mad I hadn't noticed at first, as a mother, and even more upset that the father was unconcerned.  Some people just are entirely clueless.

 

If the dad was 15 feet away, maybe the kids weren't lost.  Maybe they were just mad about something and needed to get over themselves.  I've been that parent of a sulky 3yo, and the tongue-lashing I received did nobody any good.

 

[mamiof5]

You people who would call 911 before even looking for the parents, or calling CPS when you saw that she was on her phone because of your snap judgment that she is a negligent mother, you are the reason that normal people are being regulated beyond belief and left feeling isolated in their own communities.

 

"It takes a village" is better. It just is. Look around for the mommy, tell her what her negligence nearly cost her, say a prayer and move on with your life (which is what the OP actually did).

 

The OP has no further responsibility. The restaurant owner has no further responsibility. The mother of the child is hopefully awakened to her responsibility -- for all we know, she's been freaking out all day and has enrolled in a parenting class --

 

once you've helplessly had a child come down with a life-threatening illness, or known of a dear child whose parents loved him more than anything but he died in an accident anyway, you become very aware of the ease with which tragedy can settle upon any house. It really only takes a moment.

Mmm....yeah, it takes a village. But I'd have probably called 911 as well. He was in the parking lot!! Why would I guess or know the mom is still inside? What if he's lost? What if they forgot him? What if they purposely left him? It is not very common to find a toddler wandering... honestly, probably I wouldn't have checked the restaurant. I mean, he's not an object to go return as a "lost and found". If I found a purse, car keys, a wallet... I'd have taken it in right away. But a toddler??? Not sure. It has nothing to ndo with being judgmental or " mommy shaming"

[mamiof5]

So glad you found him!!! They are very lucky. Good idea going in, but knowing me I'd have probably called 911. Not to shame the mom orget her in trouble, but the idea of her still being in the restaurant wouldn't have crossed my mind right away. When I see toddlers/little kids wandering or heading out to the door I kind of look around, just to make sure he/she is followed or is following someone.

[katilac]

If the dad was 15 feet away, maybe the kids weren't lost.  Maybe they were just mad about something and needed to get over themselves.  I've been that parent of a sulky 3yo, and the tongue-lashing I received did nobody any good.

 

 

In that case, the sensible parent walks over to the kids when they see a small crowd forming around them and talking to them, yes? 

[Kathryn]

I would have called police as well unless I knew for sure where the child had come from.

 

Last year at a local park, a man found a toddler wandering near the restrooms. They're pretty far from the playground, around a corner where there's no line of sight to the playground, and near a steep embankment heading down to a creek. They're also the backside of a county office building. Instead of alerting police or taking the child inside, he took the child by the hand back to the playground to look for his mother. On the way, he encountered a woman who said that that was her friend's child and took him. The man left and probably thought that was his good deed for the day. Until he saw his face plastered all over the news and social media accused of attempted kidnapping. The mom and her friends had called police and said the man had tried to kidnap her child. Security camera footage from the playground was pulled and aired of the woman taking the child from him. Luckily for him, once he came forward, there was another camera where he found the child that proved his story.

[SKL]

In that case, the sensible parent walks over to the kids when they see a small crowd forming around them and talking to them, yes?

[SKL]

Not necessarily. People coming and talking to my kids is not a reason for me to intervene. If it was a cop in uniform, yeah, only because of the current anti-parent trends.

[Dmmetler]

My DD slipped out of the back door at about that age. I didn't realize she'd gotten out-or that she could open the door. One of the moms waiting in the car line for the school across the street saw her slip out, realized there was no adult, and intercepted her before she got to the street (she was making a beeline for the playground at the school) and brought her to the front door. I'm very glad she did that! We put a lock that required a key from both directions on the door that day :).

[SKL]

Realistically the most likely scenario is that the kid escaped from a nearby location. To me it seems obvious that you chech the nearby locations first. The little boy needs to be with his mom asap. It can take hours or even days for the cops to decide to hand wandering kids back to their moms. In the mean time they may check how clean her house is etc etc. how many of us feels ready for a house inspection every time we take our kids out? Remember that this could happen to anyone. If your tot slipped out and another mom found him nearby, would you really rather he came back via the cops after they have vetted you as a parent and housekeeper?

[Arcadia]

For what the restaurant can do, some have signage next to the play area's entrance to remind people to watch out for kids when opening and closing doors and not to leave the door opened. It is not failsafe but it is a useful reminder.

 

A few In-N-Out we used to frequent usually have a staff near the door. Useful for forestalling sprinters while their parents catch up. These staff also helped me with the doors in the days when I had a double stroller. My kids like their fries and milkshakes as toddlers.

[Mimm]

Sometimes kids get away faster than you might think. My little brother, when he was 18 months old, was send away from the dinner table early because he didn't want to eat. We sat around chatting and finishing our meal and about ten minutes maybe passed and we heard a knock on the door. Our neighbor from the very end of our dead end street was bringing him back. We were stunned. We should have heard the front door opening from the dining room, but somehow we didn't. We didn't even realize till then he could open the front door! Thank goodness he went in that direction instead of the main road. Thank goodness our neighbor was outside working in his yard. Thank goodness we lived in a very safe and friendly neighborhood and our neighbor knew us and knew him and brought him right home to us. 

 

[goldberry]

 

I know someone who found a toddler-age child wandering in the playground of her apartment complex. After waiting for 20 min or so, she took the child into her apartment, which was only 10 feet away and faced the playground . . . and then called the police. Well, the mother of the toddler came back outside to find her child was gone and immediately called the police to report a kidnapping. It was a huge mess, and this mother was adamant that her child had been kidnapped by the good Samaritan. It all got sorted out eventually, but the good Samaritan was told that she should not have taken the child inside her apartment.

 

 

This is a good story to share.  I think in general, stay in place where you found the child.  If parent doesn't appear within several minutes, call authorities.  Not to be mean, but to protect both yourself and the child.

 

I don't think it's good (in general) to go looking for the parent, unless you find a child right outside the door of something.

[mamiof5]

I would have called police as well unless I knew for sure where the child had come from.

 

Last year at a local park, a man found a toddler wandering near the restrooms. They're pretty far from the playground, around a corner where there's no line of sight to the playground, and near a steep embankment heading down to a creek. They're also the backside of a county office building. Instead of alerting police or taking the child inside, he took the child by the hand back to the playground to look for his mother. On the way, he encountered a woman who said that that was her friend's child and took him. The man left and probably thought that was his good deed for the day. Until he saw his face plastered all over the news and social media accused of attempted kidnapping. The mom and her friends had called police and said the man had tried to kidnap her child. Security camera footage from the playground was pulled and aired of the woman taking the child from him. Luckily for him, once he came forward, there was another camera where he found the child that proved his story.

No way! Yes, it stinks for the parents and I'd feel horrible if it ends up being a huge ordeal and getting house inspections and such, but, at the same time, the person finding the little kid and doing a good deed needs to protect him/herself? Who wants to be accused of kidnapping??

[idnib]

OP,  thank you so much for helping that little one. I shudder to think about what could have happened.

 

You people who would call 911 before even looking for the parents, or calling CPS when you saw that she was on her phone because of your snap judgment that she is a negligent mother, you are the reason that normal people are being regulated beyond belief and left feeling isolated in their own communities.

 

"It takes a village" is better. It just is. Look around for the mommy, tell her what her negligence nearly cost her, say a prayer and move on with your life (which is what the OP actually did).

 

The OP has no further responsibility. The restaurant owner has no further responsibility. The mother of the child is hopefully awakened to her responsibility -- for all we know, she's been freaking out all day and has enrolled in a parenting class --

 

I agree. 

 

Who wants to be accused of kidnapping??

 

I'm wondering if there's still a McDonalds parking lot in the U.S. without cameras on it. Or any parking lot where there are lots of stores.   :)

[FaithManor]

Though I would not like turning in a parent for something that can easily happen to anyone as some toddlers are simply little monkeys and go everywhere, I would have stayed in the vicinity of the area I found the child and called the police. This is because car jackings are just all too common in Detroit, Saginaw, and Flint, areas that I am unfortunately too versed with and whom remain at the absolute top of violent crime statistics for cities of their sizes. My first thought with the buildings being so far away from the parking lot was that the mother was carjacked and the perp, not thankfully of a mind to murder the child, dumped him or her in a parking lot and sped off. It is not even close to farfetched if you know the crime particulars of these three cities. I would not want to take the child far from the crime scene, and would want police notified immediately so they could identify what was happening.

 

It is unfortunate, but in these three areas, areas that I unfortunately have to spend a great deal of time in throughout the year, it would actually be MORE likely that something nefarious happened to the child than that he or she just wandered out of mom's line of vision and especially so given the distance. Just having to type that speaks volumes about the condition of my area of the state. Very, very sad.

 

If the OP lives in a very low crime, non-carjack type area, then I can see looking for the parent before informing police, but still even in those circumstances I would definitely not look long before reporting it in case it was an instance of attempted/bungled child abduction. Again, the distance between the restaurant and where the child was found would enter into that and especially in heavy crime laden areas.

[kwg]

I would have called police as well unless I knew for sure where the child had come from.

 

Last year at a local park, a man found a toddler wandering near the restrooms. They're pretty far from the playground, around a corner where there's no line of sight to the playground, and near a steep embankment heading down to a creek. They're also the backside of a county office building. Instead of alerting police or taking the child inside, he took the child by the hand back to the playground to look for his mother. On the way, he encountered a woman who said that that was her friend's child and took him. The man left and probably thought that was his good deed for the day. Until he saw his face plastered all over the news and social media accused of attempted kidnapping. The mom and her friends had called police and said the man had tried to kidnap her child. Security camera footage from the playground was pulled and aired of the woman taking the child from him. Luckily for him, once he came forward, there was another camera where he found the child that proved his story.

 

 

Did they not realize what happened?  What in the world?

[PeterPan]

nt 

 

[Kathryn]

Did they not realize what happened? What in the world?

It was bizarre. That afternoon, they posted on all sorts of local boards to watch out for this "creep" who tried to abduct one of their kids. Then it was on the news that evening. By the next morning, the guy came forward and was pretty understandably outraged and blasted them for the whole situation (letting the kid wander that far off while they all talked, not talking to him when he brought the child back, and then the whole aftermath). Public opinion shifted pretty quickly from "OMG, pervs at the playground!!" to "catty moms should have been watching their kids and thanking a helpful person."

[SKL]

Though I would not like turning in a parent for something that can easily happen to anyone as some toddlers are simply little monkeys and go everywhere, I would have stayed in the vicinity of the area I found the child and called the police. This is because car jackings are just all too common in Detroit, Saginaw, and Flint, areas that I am unfortunately too versed with and whom remain at the absolute top of violent crime statistics for cities of their sizes. My first thought with the buildings being so far away from the parking lot was that the mother was carjacked and the perp, not thankfully of a mind to murder the child, dumped him or her in a parking lot and sped off. It is not even close to farfetched if you know the crime particulars of these three cities. I would not want to take the child far from the crime scene, and would want police notified immediately so they could identify what was happening.

 

It is unfortunate, but in these three areas, areas that I unfortunately have to spend a great deal of time in throughout the year, it would actually be MORE likely that something nefarious happened to the child than that he or she just wandered out of mom's line of vision and especially so given the distance. Just having to type that speaks volumes about the condition of my area of the state. Very, very sad.

 

If the OP lives in a very low crime, non-carjack type area, then I can see looking for the parent before informing police, but still even in those circumstances I would definitely not look long before reporting it in case it was an instance of attempted/bungled child abduction. Again, the distance between the restaurant and where the child was found would enter into that and especially in heavy crime laden areas.

 

This may be the case in your area, but it would be a rare situation where asking at the nearest place of business would create a bigger problem for the child than calling 911.  If you ask around and nobody claims the kid, you can always call 911 then and tell the cops where you found the kid.  It would only be a matter of minutes.  In most locations, wandering tots are far more common than carjack-kidnappings.

 

[EmseB]

This may be the case in your area, but it would be a rare situation where asking at the nearest place of business would create a bigger problem for the child than calling 911.  If you ask around and nobody claims the kid, you can always call 911 then and tell the cops where you found the kid.  It would only be a matter of minutes.  In most locations, wandering tots are far more common than carjack-kidnappings.

 

 

 

I know you weren't responding to me, but I guess the way I feel about this is that I wouldn't take the kid very far (if anywhere!) away from where I found them.  If a child is at the far end of a medium size parking lot, I'm not going to move them into a building, where, if an adult was looking for them, they wouldn't be able to see them.  I still think the best idea is to keep the child where are found, make sure they are safe and remain where you found them, give the parents 5-10 minutes to show up looking (which is a loooong time to be missing a child in a parking lot) and then call the police.  I don't view this as an indictment on the parents at all.  And maybe they will feel ashamed or get a talking to from a cop (I would expect both if I found myself in that situation), but when I find a toddler wandering in a parking lot my concern is that someone else besides me (I am a non-expert with a lot of my own kids) conduct a search for the people responsible for them.  I don't want to find myself accosted by people who I was trying to help, I don't want to remove the child from the place they were found in case someone does come looking, I just want them safe.  The police are not enemies here, if they are called in a situation like this.

[SKL]

Well I understand the concern with taking the child inside.  I would probably wait around and look around for a minute in case people were looking for the child around where I found him.  It wouldn't be difficult to figure out whether someone was looking for the child in the parking lot.  Then if nobody came looking / calling, I would probably take the child out of the parking lot to the area in front of the nearest businesses (or homes or park) - usually there will be a sidewalk or something without vehicle traffic.  Again, I'd look around and see if someone is looking for the child.  If nobody, then I'd briefly step inside and ask if this might be anyone's child.  If nobody claimed the child right away, the people in the store could maybe do an announcement or whatever, and I'd take the child back outside of the store to wait for the parent to notice and come looking.

 

In this case, the OP did similar and found the mom right away in the first storefront she entered.  Sounds like a win-win to me.  I would not recommend keeping the child inside if the parent was not found in the place (unless there was some safety issue with taking the child back outside).  I would assume it was just a short matter of time before the mom started looking around herself and finally outside for her child.

 

The concern about being accused of being a kidapper is minimal for a mom.  I know it is sexist, but it's rare for people to go there when a woman is involved.  (It's more common for a guy, but I'm still not sure it is common enough to justify never touching a child in danger etc.)  And as some have mentioned, there would generally be camera evidence in favor of the good samaritan.

[SKL]

As for those people who smeared the good samaritan on their facebook etc., I think there should be a penalty for such people.  For starters, there should be a post made on their facebook page (or whatever other social media was used), setting the record straight and maybe shaming them for libeling someone.  Maybe it should go out to everyone on facebook (we all know facebook is able to post on all of our news feeds whenever they want).  I would think the guy could sue the original poster for libel if she posted his photo and accused him of doing (or trying to do) something of which he was innocent.  People need to learn to think twice before they post crap about other people.

[Bluegoat]

I don't think it's possible to say taking the child into the restaurant was bad choice.  I would not want to cl 9, but sure, if I got stuck without being able to find any parent, I would.  But I think when you are actually in  place, you can have  very intuitive sense of - I bet that kid came from that direction. and often it will be correct.  If I felt that way bout the restaurant, I would go there first.

[EmseB]

I'm not saying it's a bad choice, but was responding to the posts that seemed to think calling 911 was an extreme choice and a horrible thing to do to the parents. I don't think it is either.

[Carrie12345]

Have you ever had the police or CPS show up at your door to investigate you? It's not a small thing. Guilty until proven innocent. It feels horrible. And, I am not paranoid about police. My whole extended family is LAPD. But the cop that berated me a few weeks ago was not acting like a public servant seeking to assist an overwhelmed mother. He laid into me about how I needed to do a better job as a mother. I really hope that people will stop calling the authorities in cases like this. Show some empathy and try to help.

 

I have.

And I probably would have called 911 in the given scenario.

The child's safety and MY safety come before protecting a hypothetical stranger from being questioned about their toddlers extremely dangerous escape.  I'm guessing this particular mother learned a lesson that was embarrassing and scary for her but, without a way to know that in advance, you bet your rear I would worry more that the child was genuinely abandoned or that some nut job would accuse me of attempted kidnapping.

[Guest]

You people who would call 911 before even looking for the parents, or calling CPS when you saw that she was on her phone because of your snap judgment that she is a negligent mother, you are the reason that normal people are being regulated beyond belief and left feeling isolated in their own communities.

 

"It takes a village" is better. It just is. Look around for the mommy, tell her what her negligence nearly cost her, say a prayer and move on with your life (which is what the OP actually did).

 

The OP has no further responsibility. The restaurant owner has no further responsibility. The mother of the child is hopefully awakened to her responsibility -- for all we know, she's been freaking out all day and has enrolled in a parenting class --

 

once you've helplessly had a child come down with a life-threatening illness, or known of a dear child whose parents loved him more than anything but he died in an accident anyway, you become very aware of the ease with which tragedy can settle upon any house. It really only takes a moment.

I disagree. My neighbors have a toddler who was constantly getting out of the house. My kids and I would all go out walking the neighborhood to find him about once a week. It wasn't until someone found him in the street and called 911 that Mom took the situation seriously and put locks higher on the doors even though I had suggested it many times. It took police in her house to wake her up to the situation. I would have called 911 with no guilt.

[Hikin' Mama]

OP, I think you did the right thing in this situation. Good job for seeing a child in need (in need of safety and his mom) and responding. I think it's wonderful that you emphasized to the mom just how far away her child had been. If this child is a "runner" and capable of getting far away fast, she needs to know that so she can keep a better eye on him. This is not mom shaming, this is trying to keep a child safe.

[KungFuPanda]

I would have reacted the same way as the OP. I can't imagine calling the cops without looking for the parents first. If you find an unattended kid in a McDonalds parking lot, inside the McDonalds IS a logical place to look. I also would have clarified what happened to the mother. Her initial reaction seemed like she thought the kid had only escaped the play place, but not the building.

[December]

I would have called police as well unless I knew for sure where the child had come from.

 

Last year at a local park, a man found a toddler wandering near the restrooms. They're pretty far from the playground, around a corner where there's no line of sight to the playground, and near a steep embankment heading down to a creek. They're also the backside of a county office building. Instead of alerting police or taking the child inside, he took the child by the hand back to the playground to look for his mother. On the way, he encountered a woman who said that that was her friend's child and took him. The man left and probably thought that was his good deed for the day. Until he saw his face plastered all over the news and social media accused of attempted kidnapping. The mom and her friends had called police and said the man had tried to kidnap her child. Security camera footage from the playground was pulled and aired of the woman taking the child from him. Luckily for him, once he came forward, there was another camera where he found the child that proved his story.

 

 

I wonder what the guy was supposed to do if he didn't have a working cell phone on him.

[EmseB]

I would have reacted the same way as the OP. I can't imagine calling the cops without looking for the parents first. If you find an unattended kid in a McDonalds parking lot, inside the McDonalds IS a logical place to look. I also would have clarified what happened to the mother. Her initial reaction seemed like she thought the kid had only escaped the play place, but not the building.

 

I think maybe it depends on how far from the actual restaurant it is.  I'm also not trying to say it isn't a logical place to look, but I would feel some limitations and discomfort with taking the child anywhere if they were abandoned in the parking lot for more than 5 minutes.  The OP made it sound like the child was quite aways (my grandma's vernacular!) away from a double set of doors and on the other side of the parking lot.  I would feel really uncomfortable taking the child into a restaurant and asking an employee to help me find the child's parent in that case, because I wouldn't assume the kid started from inside the restaurant.  Maybe we are just picturing different things.

[Catherine]

Without reading other responses, I will out myself as someone who had an incident similar to what happened to this mom.  I was in a small local children's bookstore many years ago with my 3 year old.  I was looking for a book and left my son out of my sight around the corner of the store sitting on the floor looking at books.  It's a very small place, much smaller even than a McDonalds.  When I went to retrieve him, 5 minutes later maybe?  he was GONE.  I thought I was watching the wall around which he was sitting, but clearly, I missed something.  

 

He had gotten out the door (which, similar to this case, would have required an adult to open it and allow him through), crossed the street, and was standing in the parking garage looking around!!!!  I have never been so panicked in my life. So many things might have happened.  

 

Then again, I do not think of myself as neglectful, and all of my three kids had a tendency to run away in public places.  Here in our culture, parents are often overwhelmed IMO and can let down their guard, given the isolation most at home parents experience.  Cut her some slack.  If someone had found my son, I hope they would have cut me some.

[Bluegoat]

I'm not saying it's a bad choice, but was responding to the posts that seemed to think calling 911 was an extreme choice and a horrible thing to do to the parents. I don't think it is either.

 

I think there is a difference between calling 911 because that is all you can think to do, or you can't find the parents, and calling because you think that there is some sense in which the parent deserves it or even just that it is the most ideal solution.  I agree that if it just seems the most sensible solution to people that is fine.  But a few people in their comments seemed to indicate that they thought that was the best solution for other reasons.

[Bluegoat]

I wonder what the guy was supposed to do if he didn't have a working cell phone on him.

 

I wondered that too.  i don't have a cell phone, and I know plenty of other people who don't either.  Presumably we don't really want a society where people are afraid even to take care of a lost toddler because they are scared they will be accused of kidnapping.

[fdrinca]

I'm frankly so nervous of touching other people's children (thanks, many years of "safe environment" training as a Sunday school teacher!) that I'd probably have called 911 just to protect myself, which I see as the flip side of "it takes a village" - we have to trust that the mother welcomes her lost son back with gratitude, not with hostility and blame-shifting.

 

Personally, I'd like someone to return my child to me, but I start to feel wary if I think of scenarios such as: my child is in a parking lot, and the mother who finds him walks to a different store or places him in her car as she waits for help to arrive. 

[K&Rs Mom]

I wondered that too.  i don't have a cell phone, and I know plenty of other people who don't either.  Presumably we don't really want a society where people are afraid even to take care of a lost toddler because they are scared they will be accused of kidnapping.

 

I think we're there.  Several years ago, when my middle dd was about 4-5yo, we were at a school tennis event with lots of kids running all over and she got separated from us.  A man walked her back to me, she was on the verge of tears, and he was careful to say, "I'm a teacher" before he explained anything else - I think because he was worried what I'd think.  I was just glad they found us!  I'm not sure how him being a teacher would make him more trustworthy, and I already knew that because I used to sub in this district, but somehow he felt he had to lead off with that.  I think it's worse for men than for women.

 

On the OP, I'd be concerned about being sure I was leaving the child with the right person: many 13-15mo aren't very verbal, and the person saying she's mom may not be.  Hopefully it was obvious, the child was glad to see mom, but between a nonverbal age and the custody issues some people have, that's another layer to consider.

[Tsuga]

I disagree. My neighbors have a toddler who was constantly getting out of the house. My kids and I would all go out walking the neighborhood to find him about once a week. It wasn't until someone found him in the street and called 911 that Mom took the situation seriously and put locks higher on the doors even though I had suggested it many times. It took police in her house to wake her up to the situation. I would have called 911 with no guilt.

 

But in that case, you knew that she wouldn't respond to normal human kindness.

 

Why immediately jump to the thought that the authorities must get involved?

 

Sure, 1/10 or 1/20 needs a kick in the pants.

 

What about the other 9 or 19? Can they get a break?

 

I think OP did the right thing and I understand her shock after bringing the child back in, even if I don't share it since I have a little escape artist. I don't see any drama here.

[SKL]

Actually I've heard of more dads getting in trouble for being with their own kids.  Especially men with daughters who don't look biologically related.  The way to address that problem is not for dads to avoid being seen with their daughters.  It's a crazy world, but conforming to the crazy isn't what's best for kids.

[katilac]

 

I think OP did the right thing and I understand her shock after bringing the child back in, even if I don't share it since I have a little escape artist. I don't see any drama here.

 

I'm not shocked at the idea of a young one getting away from mom/dad, but isn't it a bit shocking that she wasn't even looking for him yet? Didn't even know he was gone? 

 

Toddlers can be fast, but not so fast that they should be able to escape the play area, leave the restaurant, and walk across the parking lot before the parent is even glancing around because they don't see them on the slide or in the ball pit. 

 

I guess I don't get the mindset that it's okay to not check on 1-, 2-, 3-yr olds pretty constantly in a public area. 

[Bluegoat]

Actually I've heard of more dads getting in trouble for being with their own kids.  Especially men with daughters who don't look biologically related.  The way to address that problem is not for dads to avoid being seen with their daughters.  It's a crazy world, but conforming to the crazy isn't what's best for kids.

 

This happened to someone I know when they had stopped to buy some beer.  He hadn't had occasion to take his daughter in the liquor store for a while, and they thought he was trying to buy her beer or was an older boyfriend.

 

[SKL]

I'm not shocked at the idea of a young one getting away from mom/dad, but isn't it a bit shocking that she wasn't even looking for him yet? Didn't even know he was gone? 

 

Toddlers can be fast, but not so fast that they should be able to escape the play area, leave the restaurant, and walk across the parking lot before the parent is even glancing around because they don't see them on the slide or in the ball pit. 

 

I guess I don't get the mindset that it's okay to not check on 1-, 2-, 3-yr olds pretty constantly in a public area. 

 

I have had times when I wasn't sure where my kids were in those play places.  They go climb up into the pretend fire engine up above along with a couple other tots etc.  They hang around out of eyesight for a while.  I could understand a mom thinking her kid was up there for a while.  And you can't actually check, especially if you have other kids to keep track of.

 

As for kids can't run off that fast, sure they can, and there's always a first time for everything.  A kid at that age might have gone from crawling to running in a couple of weeks.

 

My sister went for a walk across town when she was a similar age.  She had gotten up early on a Saturday morning - everyone else was still asleep.  Who knew she even knew how to get out the door, or that it would ever occur to her?  My own kids never thought to do such a thing, even when they were much older.  A cop found her getting ready to cross the street.  Thankfully, as a father himself, he understood that kids do these things sometimes, regardless of how great their parents may be.

[Bluegoat]

I think kids can confound parents at the best of times.  My mom had a heck of a time keeping my sister in her room - she could climb out of the crib, and one morning she found her standing on top of the stove playing with the knobs.  After that she got a sort of thing that goes over the top of the crib - my sister promptly got her head stuck in it. 

 

My cousin's daughter got out of the house in the middle of the night.  They found her standing on the yellow line in the road.  She tries to escape at night a lot.  They ended up getting a lock for the bedroom, but a social worker told them that was unsafe an illegal.  So - now they just sleep in the living room.

[Word Nerd]

I would have reacted the same way as the OP. I can't imagine calling the cops without looking for the parents first. If you find an unattended kid in a McDonalds parking lot, inside the McDonalds IS a logical place to look. I also would have clarified what happened to the mother. Her initial reaction seemed like she thought the kid had only escaped the play place, but not the building.

I agree and think it's illogical to instead wonder if the child may have been left there following a carjacking or some other scenario that is theoretically possible but unlikely.