BlsdMama Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Since NO ONE on this board knows me or my sister, I can open my BIG FAT MOUTH here safely! ;)So, my beautiful baby sister, praise God, is pregnant with TWINS after six YEARS of infertility. No one knows. They had their first ultrasound yesterday!!!!!!!!!! Two little sacs, two little heartbeats. Life is so good for them right now!! The catch? We are expecting. No one knows. I knew they were going through IVF and I didn't want to hurt her, so we were holding off as long as possible. So they are announcing Nov. 19th at 12 weeks. I am skeptical whether they will be able to hide this little secret. (This is her third pregnancy - a little miracle seven years ago before they knew she was a miracle ;) and then a miscarriage loss two years ago. This is our 13th child.... I have no idea how long I'll be able to hide it. Plus, bless my Dad, he already guessed the other night when I said no thank you to a beer on the weekend, so it on his radar now. I could avoid them for a bit, but for a month? No. Do I assume there is NO WAY they will be able to keep this a secret like they intend and wait patiently for them to tell?Do I hurry up and tell so there is a gap between our announcement and theirs? Do I just talk to her and ask when she would like us to share our news? I just DON'T want to steal their thunder!!!!! I don't think anyone will be blown away by our news, lol, but I also don't want her to perceive that any excitement was taken away from her. But the timing is really such that I don't know how long we can hold out.... Their due date is the first week of June whereas ours is mid June. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 I would ask your sister how she would like you to do it. 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedmom4 Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 I would talk to your sister. The new life inside you is no less special than the two in her. They should be equally celebrated. Congrats! 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aiden Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 You can do whatever you'd like here and not be doing anything wrong. However, it's very kind of you to think about their excitement and not want to steal their thunder. I'd talk to them about it and coordinate announcement dates however they wanted, as long as I was confident that it wouldn't end up with me stealing their thunder by trying to wait and being found out just before their announcement. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Is your relationship with your sister such that you can ask her what she'd like? 'Cause that's what I'd do. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 I might tell your sister first regardless what you decide to do so it isn't a surprise for her. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barnwife Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 I would announce my pregnancy to my sister in private and ask her how she'd like the public announcement to play out. As for whether she can hide it for 12 weeks...we never tell until then. But, then again, I've never had twins.ETA: How could I forget? Congrats to you and to her! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Presumably you are on good terms with your sister and she "shared early" with you, so I would "share early" with her. I'd suggest that your idea is to announce yours right away, and let hers be the great joy on top of the 'average joy' of your latest pregnancy. She may have another idea/preference, but I think you should go in with an idea to start from. Also, I guess I'm presuming that you feel pretty ok by being a touch overshadowed about this. If your own feelings are more complex, my advice may shift. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 I would ask the sister. How very exciting for them! And a huge comgratluations to you, I'm personally of the opinion that thirteen is a very lucky number :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 I'd probably tell your sister, and just be honest and ask her what she'd like you to do. Let her know you're happy handling it any way she'd like! Otherwise, I don't really see a big deal in announcing yours at any time. I think everyone will be just as thrilled and elated for your sister when they hear her announcement, whether they've already heard yours or not. In fact, you could do some kind of a joint announcement even, for fun, but giving her the spotlight. ETA: CONGRATULATIONS!! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 How exciting for both of you! I'd talk to your sister, too. Tell her first, privately, and brainstorm ways to tell the Big News. Congrats! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 I'd announce it now, like today! That would give her a five or six week gap for the excitement to die down. And, let's be honest. It's not right, every baby should be celebrated profusely, but baby 13, folks are going to smile, nod, give you a hug and move on. Now twins, after infertility, folks are going to come completely unglued! So don't worry about stealing her thunder. Congratulations for your sweet little one!! They are certainly going to be loved!! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 I'd ask the sister in private and just handle it the way she prefers. Congrats!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 I would tell sister asap and go by whatever she wants. Congrats to you both. Cousins so close in age will be fun! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brehon Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 I was in a similar position a few years ago. My cousin was expecting her first child and I was pregnant with my sixth. Dh and I told my mom and no one else. (Actually, my mom has had this weird psychic thing where she knows I'm pregnant almost as soon as I do...and she lives over 200 miles away from me. As I recall, she called and asked me if she needed to start another baby blanket.) Only after a couple of additional months had passed did we tell others in the family. My cousin's little girl and my little boy were born almost exactly 3 weeks apart. It turns out that my cousin was more excited than anyone that we were pregnant at the same time. She certainly didn't think I overshadowed her news or anything. So, that's my long winded way of saying ask your sister. CONGRATS TO YOU BOTH!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meriwether Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Congratulations! I think her pregnancy is going to generate a lot of excitement any way it is handled. I hope yours is, too, but even my fifth was just kind of "How nice." to most people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 You didn't put forward my favorite option of all - don't announce anything, and just get increasingly obviously pregnant. After about two babies I stopped announcing and kept it private. People eventually ask but it avoids the awkwardness of timing announcements. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 I would talk directly to my sister. Tell her you want to be sensitive to her feelings and let her mull it over first. ETA: Congrats to both of you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink and Green Mom Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Congratulations to you! I think that you are very kind to think of your sister. I am the infertile one, among some very fertile sisters in law. It is not easy. I would ask your sister first to see if she has a preference. Truth be told, if it were me, I'd prefer you to go first and then let me come in with my news at some later point. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocolatechip Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 I don't like the drama that always surrounds "announcements" of pretty much anything except graduations, lol. I would seriously just announce right NOW. It doesn't have to be dramatic either, if you don't want. You can just say something like, "Hey, just wanted to let everyone know know that we are expecting #13 to join us in x months!" But them, I'm a very matter-of-fact person, so ymmv. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RioSamba Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 I chose ask your sister. l think it's lovely that you are so considerate of her feelings. I'm emojiless on the iPad, so imagine hugs, balloons, etc. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! One for each baby. Same age cousins are so fun! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southern Ivy Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Congratulations to you! I think that you are very kind to think of your sister. I am the infertile one, among some very fertile sisters in law. It is not easy. I would ask your sister first to see if she has a preference. Truth be told, if it were me, I'd prefer you to go first and then let me come in with my news at some later point. This is what my friend did. It was her second baby and the 1st for her sister who had been dealing with infertility for many years. My friend found out first and told her sister. Then a few weeks later, the sister found out she was pregnant. Friend announced first, but a few weeks later, her sister announced. I don't think it took the excitement out of either announcement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strange_girl Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Awww, congrats to both of you! I would just ask her. I'm sure she already has an idea of how she would like it to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 I would tell your sister right away and ask her what she wants. As someone who has had many miscarriages...it could go either way. She might want to have a bit of the spotlight to herself or she might not want much 'just in case'. I didn't tell anyone beyond immediate family when I was pregnant with ds2, it was just too risky. But even then, I waited until almost 16 weeks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlsdMama Posted October 13, 2015 Author Share Posted October 13, 2015 Well, by announce for me, I mean let it be known. Here's the deal... the moment mom and dad know then it's going to be, "Sister is expecting and, of yeah, so is other sister." See what I mean? It's kind of shadowed. We're obviously tickled, but frankly, it is not remotely the same scenario. We've been CRAZY blessed whereas we've all been waiting years for my sister and her husband to have another very wanted baby and two is just awesome. I love the timing but one announcement will swallow the other one up. Our extended families are very big and I suspect the news of Baby 13 will be almost as exciting to them as my sister's news and I honestly don't want one word or moment taken from her.... We've not even told our children yet and won't as they are bad with secrets, lol. I'm five weeks so I suspect I have about 3-4 weeks until my jeans won't fit and I'm pretty thin so it will be noticed, especially as we'll be around everyone for the holidays. Ugh. Tricky. I think I'll let her bask in the glow until the end of the week and then ask her what she wants for timing... Thank you all for your help shooting through this!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 congratulations Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto10blessings Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Congrats to you and your sister! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Congratulations! My nephew is 3 weeks older than my DD. It was fun being pregnant at the same time as my sister. I'd probably see if she has a preference but don't think your news is any less worthy of celebration. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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