lovinmyboys Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I always hear about people being excited for evenings and weekends for relaxing. People who like to stay home. I honestly have a hard time staying home. I much prefer busy days. My kids have been up for all of four hours and they are driving me crazy and I can't get anything done. I don't think I have had a relaxing day at home since I had a child 9 years ago. They have already colored, painted, played games, done stamps, oil pastels, played with legos, jumped on the trampoline, made bracelets on the rainbow loom, and made dough for cookies for us to cut out later. I am tired and I have a million things to do. It is so much easier on weekends when we have 4 baseball games. All the stuff they have done has been creative, but I have to supervise, or get things out, or help them clean up. My house is messier than when we started the day. So how does this getting caught up on stuff or relaxing work. What are your kids doing while you get out winter clothes or read a book? It is a cold rainy day here, so I am starting to feel anxious that the next 5 months are going to be crazy since the kids won't be able to be outside as much. School days are ok to stay home because we have a schedule. But these free days always leave me stressed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 Don't have free days. Have a specific activity that they are allowed to do from 10:00-10:45, then another activity from 10:45-11:30 and so on. I only have one but there is no way he's allowed to go from mess to mess, activity to activity willy nilly. Also institute quiet times, once in the morning and once in the afternoon if needed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kristie in Florida Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 Hah. I sit on the couch and try to ignore the fact that the toddler is pulling out every toy he owns. That I just cleaned up. I'm all ears. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjzimmer1 Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 We have no TV and movies are a rare treat (a couple of times a month at most) so when I really need to get something done in peace, I pull out the movies and my house is silent for hours as they sit there transfixed. Otherwise, I involve them with what I'm doing. One child will be assigned to specifically watch the toddler (as well as clean up the messes) and then I work with the rest on cleaning/sorting. Othertimes, they will all vamoose and be as silent as possible because they know if they are loud they will get put to work and they do their best not to let that happen. On occasion I have sent my husband with some of the little people to visit his relatives or run some easy errands. I don't have just little anymore but when I did, I usually just ended up staying up late at night to finish projects. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyS Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I always hear about people being excited for evenings and weekends for relaxing. People who like to stay home. I honestly have a hard time staying home. I much prefer busy days. My kids have been up for all of four hours and they are driving me crazy and I can't get anything done. I don't think I have had a relaxing day at home since I had a child 9 years ago. They have already colored, painted, played games, done stamps, oil pastels, played with legos, jumped on the trampoline, made bracelets on the rainbow loom, and made dough for cookies for us to cut out later. I am tired and I have a million things to do. It is so much easier on weekends when we have 4 baseball games. All the stuff they have done has been creative, but I have to supervise, or get things out, or help them clean up. My house is messier than when we started the day. So how does this getting caught up on stuff or relaxing work. What are your kids doing while you get out winter clothes or read a book? It is a cold rainy day here, so I am starting to feel anxious that the next 5 months are going to be crazy since the kids won't be able to be outside as much. School days are ok to stay home because we have a schedule. But these free days always leave me stressed. Looking at what your kids have been doing all day, I would say that your problem is that your kids need work. I mean good, hard physical labor. My kids spend at least an hour per day on regular chores, plus various things that I ask them to do through the day. Part of what your kids should be doing is cleaning up behind themselves. No reason for your house to be wrecked just because they are doing things. If necessary, lock everything up and don't allow them to have anything until they've cleaned up the last thing they had. Also, have in your mind, all the time (or write down), a good half dozen things that your kids are capable of doing, and assign one when you hear anything resembling "I'm bored" (the answer to which should be, excellent, go clean the fridge!). Also, my kids go to bed at 8pm, (even the 16 year old, who then reads). Evenings are for me. We also have quiet time from 2-4 every afternoon, where they are not allowed to be heard, or bother me, unless they are on fire or bleeding to death. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I agree with the PP. Make them help with the mess and institute quiet time. My kids did age appropriate chores from the time they could walk. We also had mandatory quiet time. When they were very small, it was nap time. As they got older they were just required to do something quietly in their room (read, play with dolls, etc.). It gave me a much needed break during the day. And for us, rainy, stuck-inside days were perfect for popcorn and a movie (or two). 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 We play video games, go shopping, clean the house, go to church, do homework, watch movies or tv shows, and at least once a month we do stuff with extended family. And we just hang out. My kids are teens but I also have a 1 year old who just hangs out and plays. We play with her, read her books, take her outside to play, let her draw. She requires a certain amount of entertaining but we encourage her to play alone as well. My kids aren't in sports so we don't have any weekend games. We need some down time, I would find that stressful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamaraby Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 My oldest is 5yo and the three of them are pretty good at entertaining themselves. I have art supplies that they can help themselves to provided they clean up after themselves. Ditto games or books or whatever. Pick up after yourself is our family rule - goes for the adults too. ;) If I were getting out winter clothes they'd be helping. If I were cleaning house they'd be helping. Otherwise, I can quilt or read while they do their thing. If they're bored? Well, I have plenty of chores they can do. Somehow no one ever takes me up on that offer. If they're having an off day or it's icky or they can't seem to get along then I might find a movie for us to all watch together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan in SC Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 We would go to the zoo, a museum, or a bounce place to play. We only stayed home if the weather was horrible, or if someone was sick. Sometimes we'd hire a sitter and run errands and grab a movie. Our main babysitter was a wonderful girl with tons of energy, so she could keep up with three boys. Even when mine were infants and toddlers, we traveled a lot. We'd go on several hour car trips to visit people and interesting places. ETA- if I had to get winter clothes out or do other chores, I'd let them play in the playroom, or with their dad. He was always home on weekends when they were little. (We have to divide and conquer with out of town commitments now.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aiden Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I feel like a horrible mom even saying this, but ... weekends are "Daddy time" for my daughter. Either we do things as a family, or she does things with Daddy while I decompress. I'm very introverted and I'm exhausted after a whole week of no alone time. It isn't that way ALL weekend necessarily, but it is for a significant chunk of it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 Hmmm. My kids are in bed by 7:30 so I get plenty of time to do my own thing. I also don't supervise when they are doing many of the things you listed. My almost 7 year old and 5.5 year old can get almost anything out, set up, and cleaned up without my help. My 2.5 year old can get many things out but doesn't put things away. We clean up as a family everyday before dinner so any remaining messes are handled. I also instated a one hour relax time after lunch in which everyone has to find something to do by themselves. This allows me time to read and all of us decompress. There are fewer sibling arguments since instating this rule. The first day of instating it was the worst because my 6 year old didn't know what to do, he's not good at playing by himself. He spent the first half testing if I'd really make him not play with his sister. When he realized I was serious he spent 15 minutes crying because he didn't know what to do. I just cuddled him while reading to myself. After 15 minutes he got a book and Sat down next to me and read to himself. All that to say. I also find going out and doing things on the weekends relaxing. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pehp Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 Weekends tend to be more relaxing for me b/c my schedule is so much looser (no getting up at 6am!) but the REAL reason is b/c my husband is home and can run interference for me with the children. BUT I have to keep some kind of a cleaning routine and working out, or I turn into a she-monster at the end of the day. so for me, it's the husband. He takes care of the children (mostly, not completely) and I can be off-duty with the parenting, which is a blessed help after 5 days ON. :) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeAgain Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 We have a rule of no children in the living room after 8pm. Even the teen is in his bedroom. We also take turns going out, each of us one night a week to do something just for ourselves and help us recharge. Sometimes I'll just sit in the library for two hours. :) It's relaxing and quiet and I get to come home to a tidied home that's already ready for bedtime. It's very nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 My guys all played together, without me. We have a playroom, and when they were too little to pick up after themselves, that's where all the toys stayed and where they played. If it made more work for me, we didn't do it. Until my youngest hit around 4, I needed to do everything I could to preserve my sanity.Also, we did an hour or two of quiet time/day. We still do. When they were little, the did Quiet Time in their rooms, and as they got older it morphed into them making their lunches and taking their food to the rec room to eat and do what they want. They aren't allowed to play video games, talk to me, or come upstairs (unless there's injury). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommysanders Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I have kids tables with paper and pencils/crayons/markers. They often play there just drawing or cutting paper. I make everyone do a 5-minute cleanup time twice a day. Once before nap and once before bed. They're also not allowed to get out another game or big activity before putting away the first thing they got out. So we don't end up having lots of stuff to clean up all at once. Other than that, they tend to play well on their own. If I need to do something, but they want me to help them do a bigger/messier activity, I just say they have to wait until I'm done with what I'm doing. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 When my children were young Saturday was the day that daddy took them all out. Somewhere. Anywhere. On bad whether days he used to pack up the stroller and three children and walk around the mall for two hours even though he hates the mall and didn't need anything. He understood that I needed a few hours in my own house alone. So yeah you better believe I look forward to the weekend! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinmyboys Posted October 3, 2015 Author Share Posted October 3, 2015 Maybe evenings and weekends haven't seemed magical to me because Dh is rarely home. Evenings and weekends are the same as M-F daytime. These days we rarely have no where we are planning to go. I try to have one day a month that we stay home and chill. It just doesn't seem that I get to chill on those days. I think when these days come up I give the kids too much freedom. I have always wondered why SAHMs of babies and toddlers would be so excited for the weekend and I could never see how a weekend day was any different. My babies and toddlers were every bit as needy (and woke up just as early) on the weekends. Now my kids are past that stage (ages 9, 7, 5, 3) but I still wonder if parents really ever get to relax at home. It seems like I work just as hard every day no matter if we stay home or are gone all day or part of the day or if it is a Monday or a Saturday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Btervet Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 My kids are in their rooms by 8pm at night, and I don't go to sleep until 1, so that's 5 hours of child free time in the evenings, and I love it. Sometimes DH is home, sometimes he isn't, but I'm not watching kids, which relaxes me. Weekends are when projects get done. Which can be tiring, but also relaxing when the job is finished! The boys either help as they are able, or play. I don't supervise DS1 playing, so he is super easy on weekends. DS2 requires supervision constantly, but I can often be working in the same room he is playing. Things just take twice as long, but still get done. The boys have to clean up any messes they make, DS2 with some help from me, so that's not a big issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 When my kids were little, we went hiking on weekends. One day was an all-day trip to a state park or wilderness area. The other day, we just did a shorter outing to a local park; after a full day of hiking, the kids were quite content to stay home and play. Evenings: we spent afternoons at the park playing for several hours. Then home, dinner, bed time story, bed. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 DS has always just done whatever it is we are doing. Hiking or other activities, yard work, house work, computer stuff...whatever. Nothing was different just because he was little or just because it was the weekend. He has never had a day in his life where he just played alone while we did something else. I cannot even imagine! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 They have already colored, painted, played games, done stamps, oil pastels, played with legos, jumped on the trampoline, made bracelets on the rainbow loom, and made dough for cookies for us to cut out later. I am tired and I have a million things to do. It is so much easier on weekends when we have 4 baseball games. All the stuff they have done has been creative, but I have to supervise, or get things out, or help them clean up. My house is messier than when we started the day. If I need free time to get things done, my child just doesn't do activities that need a lot of clean up or supervision. I wouldn't be getting out paints, oil pastels, cookie dough ingredients, and things like that. Those are wonderful activities, but I save them for a time when I'm available to help. My daughter knows that if she wants to get out a toy or activity, she needs to clean it up before getting out something else. Make it a hard and fast rule! It seems like I work just as hard every day no matter if we stay home or are gone all day or part of the day or if it is a Monday or a Saturday. I hear and understand that! I second (or fourth or fifth!) the recommendations to institute one or two quiet times every day. The kids need to be in their rooms resting or reading or playing *quietly*. Quiet time saved my sanity. :) If your 9- and 7-year-olds are good readers, try to find some book series they enjoy. I'm also not (too) ashamed to say that good quality TV shows can be a huge help. 20 or 40 minutes of free time is a beautiful thing. :) Hope you are able to get some rest and time for yourself. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 Can you get the majority of the housecleaning done through the week, so you can sit and rest or just quietly play with the kids? There's got to be a way for you to figure this out. I think: Spend one evening a week doing some "chores" to free up the weekend for rest. Quiet time. Spend two or three afternoons per week getting out the "messy" projects and banning them for the weekend when you don't want the mess happening. Make a list of what you need done each weekend. Only list enough that you can get done Saturday or Sunday morning. Saturday morning, let the kids watch TV while you tackle 2-3 "I can't do this while kids are in my face jobs" then turn off the TV and let them help you with some work too. After lunch, quiet time. You read a book, take a bath, whatever. After quiet time, you and the kids play games or have some fun together. Then kids play together while you make supper. After supper, clean up time, bath time, bedtime (early is good) and you get some time to yourself again. I think if you figure out a good weekend routine instead of a free for all, you will find that you can relax some too. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abba12 Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 hands on activities like cooking and messy art are schoolday afternoon activities, not weekend activities. I don't let them do anything that requires supervision on the weekend unless I plan it (though, having said that, I wouldn't be supervising for most of the things you mentioned) I've also tried to teach and encourage the kids to play independently, and learn to get things out and away by themselves, we spend a lot of time on the latter. And having DH home makes all the difference. The three kids are currently outside, alone, making chalk drawings, and have been for half an hour. After that they will probably move to the trampoline and swings, alone. I will probably go and call them in in an hour for an activity I planned, then they will be left to free-play until lunchtime in their toy-room. I refuse to deal with 'I'm bored' complaints, so they will likely find something to amuse themselves in that room full of toys. This afternoon will probably be quiet time, a little TV, and then more outside/toyroom time. Having DH here to deal with issues means I get a break. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2squared Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I enjoy evenings and weekends we are home because that's when I get stuff done. Days that we are gone = no stuff done. I wonder how people get things done when they aren't home? I don't entertain my kids. Our time together is spent relaxing/having fun (games, reading, movies, biking, etc) or productive (laundry, cooking, yard work, etc). I enjoy just being with my kids, so I have always had them join me in whatever I am doing. My dh had a different approach, and he doesn't have the kids join him. I think they wear him out a lot and he has the "never get things done" feelings. I often think he would be happier if he adopts my approach. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 My kids just tag along with whatever we are doing on weekends. We usually have a lazy morning they might "help" my husband fix something around the house, clean, play outside while we do yard work. Afternoons are the usual rest time unless we go somewhere. My husband handles maintenance for our church building so they might go play in the church nursery or on the playground while he works. They are pretty good at entertaining themselves and when they aren't, I separate them and suggest a quiet activity. Legos or reading usually work well for that. Messy things like crafts don't happen if I'm busy with a project. When I went through clothes last weekend they played in the room and tried things on when I wasn't sure if something would fit. A couple weekends ago while my husband and I painted bunk beds in the garage, my 7 year old worked at his tool bench. My 5 and 3 year old ran around the yard all day mostly playing pirates. Our evenings are mostly fixing then eating supper, getting the kids to bed about 8, then my husband and I have freetime. He travels a lot and I don't vary my routine much whether he's home or not. Eta: on Sundays between church and life group, we just putter around the house. I usually read, sew, or catch a quick nap. The kids have their rest time but really only the 3 year old still naps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I don't know who those people are. Weekends are never relaxing here. They are the 2-3 most exhausting days of my week and then comes Monday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dulce Domem Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 Just wanted to say I feel your pain. Our oldest is 9, and our youngest is 2, with two others in between, and the only way I manage to keep on top of life at all is with lots of structure. But I am starting to feel like I am imprisoned by all of the routines & procedures & schedules. I look forward to another couple of years where they can all be more independent and for once I can spend a Saturday at home and relax. For now Saturday is just like Monday which is just like Tuesday which is just like....you know. Except Sundays - those are for worship which can go either way and be better or worse than the average day. But yeah - not relaxing in the least. Unless my husband takes them all outside or to a park and I get sweet blissful quiet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blondeviolin Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 My kids play outside nearly all Saturday. In the winter, they toss on snow gear and troll the neighborhood with their friends. My little boys and the baby are usually home with me and we turn on music and dance and play and clean. It's recharging for my little ones and reminds me they're still so little and to treasure it. Kids are in bed at 8:30 or so so I do me stuff then. My husband's work hours are long and inconsistent so I'm learning to never assume he'll be home. Sunday's are spent together at church and then making yummy food, watching a movie, and playing games together. Often my husband is home on that day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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