Heather in Neverland Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Let's say, hypothetically, that one or more of your elementary aged children attended a local public school. And let's say, hypothetically, that your child was very shy, or maybe you were insecure about their surroundings or maybe you just liked it, but for whatever reason you wanted to walk your child to their classroom. And let's say, hypothetically, that the principal of the building told you that you were not allowed into the building, you had to leave your child at the door to the building (no matter how hard they cry and regardless of whatever reason you have for wanting to walk them to class). And let's say, hypothetically, that when you protested that decision, the principal had you banned from the premises and you will be arrested for trespassing if you step onto school property again (but your child is still expected to attend). Â That's exactly what is going on in the district I work for. I am not a principal but I often sit in on their monthy meetings and this was the topic of discussion this week. Â So what does the hive think of this? I am very curious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Let's say, hypothetically, that one or more of your elementary aged children attended a local public school. And let's say, hypothetically, that your child was very shy, or maybe you were insecure about their surroundings or maybe you just liked it, but for whatever reason you wanted to walk your child to their classroom. And let's say, hypothetically, that the principal of the building told you that you were not allowed into the building, you had to leave your child at the door to the building (no matter how hard they cry and regardless of whatever reason you have for wanting to walk them to class). And let's say, hypothetically, that when you protested that decision, the principal had you banned from the premises and you will be arrested for trespassing if you step onto school property again (but your child is still expected to attend). That's exactly what is going on in the district I work for. I am not a principal but I often sit in on their monthy meetings and this was the topic of discussion this week.  So what does the hive think of this? I am very curious.  Um, let's see... I think I would hypothetically go ballistic!  The ps here requires sign ins and visitor passes, but I've never heard of anyone being denied access to their own child. It would be a Big. Deal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sleepy Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 No way, no how, would my child be attending that school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jail warden Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Red flags go up when I, as a parent, would not be allowed to come to see my child for any reason. I would think that schools should be parent-friendly. Whatever happened to parents being a classroom helper or having lunch with a child? This is a bit over the top, in my opinion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelaniePA Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Yea, I'd have to agree with the other posters. That'd be a big issue for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moxie Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 There has to be more to the story. It doesn't sound rational at all to ban a parent for walking their child to class. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwinMominTX Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 My child would no longer attend that particular school. I have many friends who say they aren't allowed into the child's classroom. I get the need for proper clearances and the requirement for security, but once I passed through those hoops I should be allowed to go to my child classroom at appropriate - non disruptive times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted September 11, 2008 Author Share Posted September 11, 2008 No doubt. When mine were in ps, you were always encouraged to ask to sit in on a class. I would be pissed. Â I think what was really aggravating me was how EXASPERATED these principals were toward the whole thing. They thought the parents who protested were being ridiculous and they were basically ridiculing parents who "do the whole hugsy, kissy thing, like they are leaving little junior forever." Â It just smacked of that "we know what's best for your kids" mentality that reminds me of why I homeschool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fshinkevich Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 My child would not go to the school any longer, but I am pretty sure there are laws in place here that allow parents to sit in on the classes whenever they want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted September 11, 2008 Author Share Posted September 11, 2008 There has to be more to the story. It doesn't sound rational at all to ban a parent for walking their child to class. Â Well, they say it is a security issue. In fact, one principal even said "I told the mom that she doesn't have to worry about leaving her child at the building door. Once she is in this building, she is safe." Oh really? Ask all those parents of students who have been injured or killed at school what they think of that. Â I get security and what-not but it is MY child and I should have access to MY child when I want it. Give me a visitor's pass if necessary, but let me in the door. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alenee Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Hmmm, there's a VERY popular preschool in town here that prefers you drop your child off at the curb to the waiting teacher. They also bring the children out to the cars at the end of the day. They do this to aid the child in separating from the parents and also to keep the crowds down. I never would've allowed my kids to go there even though it was said to be the "best". I was appalled at the attitude that was underneath this policy. Â Does this sound like the reason behind your school situation? Getting the kids to separate from parents at the door? Is it more about that than having parents on school grounds? Is it for possible crowding issues? Â Curious why this policy began...there's always an incident or two that spark these types of rules. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Actually, I'm not surprised. Parents are not allowed to even volunteer in their children's classes in our district above 3rd grade. And you are not allowed to go visit unless it is a specific invitation (given a couple of times a year). Â Do I think it is right? No. But that is one of many, many reasons I homeschool (though not the top one). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 If the child in question is in a special needs classroom, it may be due to privacy concerns for the other kids. I wasn't allowed to visit the class ds was assigned to in order to decide if we would accept that placement. In the end, we decided to hs because we were very uncomfortable with not seeing his placement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melmac Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 That's outrageous.   Let's say, hypothetically, that one or more of your elementary aged children attended a local public school. And let's say, hypothetically, that your child was very shy, or maybe you were insecure about their surroundings or maybe you just liked it, but for whatever reason you wanted to walk your child to their classroom. And let's say, hypothetically, that the principal of the building told you that you were not allowed into the building, you had to leave your child at the door to the building (no matter how hard they cry and regardless of whatever reason you have for wanting to walk them to class). And let's say, hypothetically, that when you protested that decision, the principal had you banned from the premises and you will be arrested for trespassing if you step onto school property again (but your child is still expected to attend). That's exactly what is going on in the district I work for. I am not a principal but I often sit in on their monthy meetings and this was the topic of discussion this week.  So what does the hive think of this? I am very curious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 My child would no longer attend that particular school. I have many friends who say they aren't allowed into the child's classroom. I get the need for proper clearances and the requirement for security, but once I passed through those hoops I should be allowed to go to my child classroom at appropriate - non disruptive times. Â Oh, and for the record on the whole security thing, our school put me through the wringer when trying to take ds out during the school day. They need ID, and we have different last names. It was at least a 15 minute process any time it happened. Â However, it took me 30 seconds and no ID to *withdraw* him from school, entirely. Go figure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcjlkplus3 Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Let's say, hypothetically, that one or more of your elementary aged children attended a local public school. And let's say, hypothetically, that your child was very shy, or maybe you were insecure about their surroundings or maybe you just liked it, but for whatever reason you wanted to walk your child to their classroom. And let's say, hypothetically, that the principal of the building told you that you were not allowed into the building, you had to leave your child at the door to the building (no matter how hard they cry and regardless of whatever reason you have for wanting to walk them to class). And let's say, hypothetically, that when you protested that decision, the principal had you banned from the premises and you will be arrested for trespassing if you step onto school property again (but your child is still expected to attend). That's exactly what is going on in the district I work for. I am not a principal but I often sit in on their monthy meetings and this was the topic of discussion this week.  So what does the hive think of this? I am very curious.  Absolutely unacceptable. The child would be withdrawn, if not that day, then the next (I MIGHT clam down enough to talk to my dh about it first) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 This is so extreme that I have to imagine there is more to the incident. Or perhaps there were a series of incidents that culminated in this, probably with negative issues from both parent and school. Â I have a child in elementary and now a child in high school and one at home. We have to sign in and were a visitor badge at all times. I believe it's ok for the school/teacher to say there are times when it's disruptive. We are encouraged to come during lunch period any time. Parents do not walk their children to the classroom in the morning. The kids are quicker with getting started with work if parents aren't hanging up coats and back packs. And if you are a little late the secretary walks the child to the room. I have been a frequent volunteer at ds's school. Again, I sign in and I where a badge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alenee Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 This just reminded me of a time a friend and I were having a discussion about p/s and I said something to the effect that when you send them there, you are giving them over to the p/s's control. She adamantly disagreed with me however, the results, such as this one only serve to prove my point and continually keep me focused on homeschooling for the long term. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom to Aly Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 I knew about this because this happened with my goddaughter 11 years ago, when she was 8. Her teacher basically called her a liar in front of the whole class. She went to the bathroom, cried so hard she threw up, went to the clinic and called her mom without her teacher's permission and asked her to pick her up. Her mom went to pick her up, but by then the teacher had figured it all out and told the principal the whole story. Â The principal was waiting at the door for me and her mom (she had called me too), and refused to let us in the building--he told us that if we stepped foot in the school, he would call the police and have us arrested for trespassing. As soon as that child walked into the building, she was in the custody of the school, until school was over. Â My friend started homeschooling her daughter the next day. Unbelievable, isn't it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clwcain Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 My response? "Let's play global thermonuclear war..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 I have done volunteer tutoring regularly in the public schools around here, and have typically tutored at the beginning of their school day so that I can get back in time to homeschool my own. The elementary schools do not prohibit parents from walking into the school with their kids. There are bunches in the lobby/office area every time I go in. If they go beyond the lobby/office area, they need to sign in and get a visitor's pass. It makes for a very friendly/comunity-oriented atmosphere. It's a nice blend of friendly with respect for the need for security. Â The policy you're describing is ridiculous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 I knew about this because this happened with my goddaughter 11 years ago, when she was 8. Her teacher basically called her a liar in front of the whole class. She went to the bathroom, cried so hard she threw up, went to the clinic and called her mom without her teacher's permission and asked her to pick her up. Her mom went to pick her up, but by then the teacher had figured it all out and told the principal the whole story. The principal was waiting at the door for me and her mom (she had called me too), and refused to let us in the building--he told us that if we stepped foot in the school, he would call the police and have us arrested for trespassing. As soon as that child walked into the building, she was in the custody of the school, until school was over.  My friend started homeschooling her daughter the next day. Unbelievable, isn't it?  I'm speechless. I think I might be inclined to call the police in that case. It sounds like a kidnapping.  I always had to sign in and wear a sticker (!) while in the school, but I was certainly welcomed. In fact, in those days (15 years ago with my oldest) parents were stilled begg-- uh, asked to volunteer in the classroom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jplain Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Yep, one of the elementary schools in the town we used to live in had very strongly worded signs posted at the main entrance, prohibiting parents from going in with their children. It was a very safe community, no violence to speak of, so I can't imagine it was a true security issue. Sounds more like a control issue to me. Â We were there for a parent/toddler class, and of course I was allowed to enter for that purpose, but I remember thinking "I don't believe I'm comfortable with that policy!!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fshinkevich Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Yep, one of the elementary schools in the town we used to live in had very strongly worded signs posted at the main entrance, prohibiting parents from going in with their children. It was a very safe community, no violence to speak of, so I can't imagine it was a true security issue. Sounds more like a control issue to me. Â We were there for a parent/toddler class, and of course I was allowed to enter for that purpose, but I remember thinking "I don't believe I'm comfortable with that policy!!!" Â Â Interesting since schools always send home letters stressing how important it is to support your child's teacher and be heavily involved in their schooling in order to achieve success. How could you possibly in a situation like that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaik76 Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Oh, boy!!! If someone did this to me...I would be the one calling the police...for them to pick up my child. I would never return. Grrrrrrrr.... I want access to my kid at all times. I wish this was illegal... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 I guess (hypothetically) I'd be arrested or my child would be educated elsewhere. Oh, and I'd hire an attorney either way. Â Btw, I'm all for parents and visitors following sign in rules for safety. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 I understand that they have to keep doors locked now to lock out bad people. I understand why you need to sign in, etc. I understand that they can't have people roaming aimlessly through the building, unsupervised. But I do not understand why on earth a parent can't walk to a child's classroom with them if they have explained the situation and signed in, etc. It's pretty scary to me to think that parents are being told that they may NOT have access to their own children while they are in that building. What if there's an emergency? Is the parent allowed in to their child then? Are parents not allowed to visit class to help with volunteering there? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Sounds a lot like jail to me. Stick them someplace without having access to their family so they will come around to our way of thinking without intervention from those that love and care about them most, because we know how to handle them better. :glare: Â Hypothetically, I'd well.... we'd start homeschooling the moment the told us we didn't have access to our child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiCO Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Let's say, hypothetically, that one or more of your elementary aged children attended a local public school. And let's say, hypothetically, that your child was very shy, or maybe you were insecure about their surroundings or maybe you just liked it, but for whatever reason you wanted to walk your child to their classroom. And let's say, hypothetically, that the principal of the building told you that you were not allowed into the building, you had to leave your child at the door to the building (no matter how hard they cry and regardless of whatever reason you have for wanting to walk them to class). And let's say, hypothetically, that when you protested that decision, the principal had you banned from the premises and you will be arrested for trespassing if you step onto school property again (but your child is still expected to attend). That's exactly what is going on in the district I work for. I am not a principal but I often sit in on their monthy meetings and this was the topic of discussion this week.  So what does the hive think of this? I am very curious.  I'm wondering what the rest of the story is. I can't believe they would ban a particular parent from the building because their child was shy. (But it wouldn't be the first time I was surprised by something a school did...)  If the parent really is being banned because the child was shy, I would be shopping around for a new school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 It probably does sound crazy to those who deal with kind-er schools, but we dealt with a school with such a policy, here in Orange County. Â I was doing after-school care for a friend's son (whom I homeschool now), he had several issues the biggie being an auditory processing disorder-which might have caused the other biggie- a pretty big sense of anxiety. He was in 2nd grade last year, and they allowed his mom to walk him to class the first week and then after that it was forbidden. In strong terms. They didn't threaten, but then again, she didn't push it..she's this nice red-head English lady-not a case of pushiness or security (the mom). When I would pick him up, I had to wait at a gate and his teacher would walk him out to me- because of the anxiety thing, the other kids walked themselves. Â It was like a prison. The school was painted gray, and if the kids arrived too early before school they had the choice of sitting on a bench outside their class reading or walking a square on the playground over and over. No playing, no running before school. During recess when the bell rang, the kids had to kneel on one knee until dismissed to get into line. Â I am so glad he is out of there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 If there is truly not more to the story then I'd be calling the media and causing a major uproar. Major. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Lynx Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 I'm wondering what the rest of the story is. I can't believe they would ban a particular parent from the building because their child was shy. (But it wouldn't be the first time I was surprised by something a school did...)Â If the parent really is being banned because the child was shy, I would be shopping around for a new school. Â This kind of skepticism is usually my reaction upon hearing a story like this. Â Unfortunately, I do know of other schools and other systems that have had very similar policies, and similar incidents. Â Some schools and some school systems fall very heavily into the attitude that when the kids are at school, they belong to the school, and having adults in is a security risk. It does not matter that the adults are parents - after all, sometimes parents abuse their kids. I have seen schools with the attitude that school should be a secure place for kids who are suffering abuse from their parents. Â It seems extreme and ridiculous, but it happens. Reason #8526 we homeschool. In no way would my child stay at a school that would not or could not give me access to my child at my discretion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 I knew about this because this happened with my goddaughter 11 years ago, when she was 8. Her teacher basically called her a liar in front of the whole class. She went to the bathroom, cried so hard she threw up, went to the clinic and called her mom without her teacher's permission and asked her to pick her up. Her mom went to pick her up, but by then the teacher had figured it all out and told the principal the whole story. The principal was waiting at the door for me and her mom (she had called me too), and refused to let us in the building--he told us that if we stepped foot in the school, he would call the police and have us arrested for trespassing. As soon as that child walked into the building, she was in the custody of the school, until school was over.  My friend started homeschooling her daughter the next day. Unbelievable, isn't it?  WOW  This is why it's a good thing I'm not dealing with schools. I would have had the principal arrested for kidnapping. They *cannot* keep my child from me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Let's say, hypothetically, that one or more of your elementary aged children attended a local public school. And let's say, hypothetically, that your child was very shy, or maybe you were insecure about their surroundings or maybe you just liked it, but for whatever reason you wanted to walk your child to their classroom. And let's say, hypothetically, that the principal of the building told you that you were not allowed into the building, you had to leave your child at the door to the building (no matter how hard they cry and regardless of whatever reason you have for wanting to walk them to class). And let's say, hypothetically, that when you protested that decision, the principal had you banned from the premises and you will be arrested for trespassing if you step onto school property again (but your child is still expected to attend). That's exactly what is going on in the district I work for. I am not a principal but I often sit in on their monthy meetings and this was the topic of discussion this week.  So what does the hive think of this? I am very curious.  Like hell!!   They would prevent me access to my child *over my dead body* well...over my uncles..who are lawyers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Well, they consider children the property of the state and the school is an extension of the state so once a child walks through the doors parents are, in essence, handing them over to the state - delegating their power as a parent to them. No, I do not agree with this notion, but that is the way they see it. It doesn't surprise me, but it certainly does exasperate me. Â My neighbor has sent her 9yo son to a private Montessori school until this year. They can no longer afford the gas/tuition to send him there so are sending him to the local public school. Earlier this year when my neighbor was trying to decide what to do she called the school to find out if she could observe a classroom to see if her son would be ok there. They denied her that privilege and said they never allowed parents to observe. Â It makes me wonder what the ding-dong is going on in there that they don't want parents to know about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Gee, I wonder if they no longer send that particular parent requests for money and other gimmie notices? Â Doubtful. Â So relieved we don't have to deal with that BS anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iquilt Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 When our oldest was in ps K she missed the bus once due to her siblings needing something and we all had to take her to the bus stop as it was so far away from our house. So we all loaded up and I fully intended on walking her to her classroom. Well, we were stopped at the office (I expected to sign in, sign out) and told that we were not allowed past the office - it was not during classtime, she was not late, yet I had to hand her over to a secretary who said she would take her to class. That was about it for me, too. They say they want the parents to be involved, but what they really mean is for you to hand over your children and stay the heck out of their way while they teach them whatever they want. No thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Oh you can't even imagine how fast I would trespass on their property so that I could get ARRESTED!?!?! for taking my child to the classroom!!!!!! I would just so much love to push that one to the logical end and see how it plays out. I would be arrested every stinking day of the week until they changed that ridiculous policy!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Even if you sign in and wear a visitor badge, they do not want you wandering around the school. Would you want adults, not known to you or your kids, not school employees, potentially roaming the hallways of a public school? Just because an adult signs in, does not mean they might not also be a child molester or kidnapper or ???? Some kids are apt to freak out if they see a stranger wandering the hallways. Also, the teachers do not want the shy or crying kids making bigger, disruptive scenes at the classroom door if a parent is there. Â Now- my kid's former elementary, we do have the sign-in sheet in the office BUT after years of different kids there the staff and teachers know me well. I can go upstairs to collect my dd from the speech therapist's room, and have a word or two with the therapist. But most parents are not was well known (pre-approved as the oddball homeschooler who actually knows her stuff ;)) so they have to stay in the office. Â It is all a security issue for the msot part. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Katia Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Well, legally, once you enroll your dc in a public school and they are on the public school grounds during school hours, your child is technically and legally a "ward of the state" and you have given up your rights to your child during those times. Â So, yes, legally, they can tell you, as a parent, that you can not have access to your child. Yes, they can arrest you. You can not call what the principal is doing "kidnapping" because you have given total power over your child to that school. During school hours. Â This is one of the MAIN reasons we, as a family, homeschool. We dealt with this same issue with my ds when he was in ps. We pulled him out when he was 11yo after dealing with this for several years. He is now 23yo, so this is not a new policy. Â Public schools just don't want you to know that you are giving up your rights to your child when you send them to ps. But, you are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 When you say that she "protested" the decision and he banned her, I am thinking her protest was more than a polite letter stating her objections. Â I would be really upset if I were her, though. I could. not. leave. a crying child that way. Â At the same time, I don't understand how a teacher can really get the class going if 15 parents insist they must go with their child to class everyday. I'm sure she thinks that she is special and that her child is special, but I can sort of understand why this is going to eventually be a problem. Schools have to have basic rules for operating, and most schools don't allow parents to walk their children to class after the first few days of kindergarten. Part of the problem is that when parents do, they often end up wanting to talk to the child or the teacher, and it's distracting. Â The banning seems totally over the top, though. Â But you know, this is one reason I homeschool. I accept that I don't get to make the rules where ever my child goes, and that I might really dislike some of the rules. And maybe I am controlling. I'd just rather not deal with schools and their policies and my child just being one anonymous child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura K (NC) Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 My oldest went to private school for a few years (pre-K and K). I always walked him in, chatted with the teacher, asked her if she needed anything, etc. I wasn't the only one, either. When I put my son in public school for 1st grade, I was told not to walk him in anymore. I didn't know my kid's teacher much at all. I met her at the beginning of school and didn't see her again until after Christmas. The one time I did come into school to talk to the principal (about another breach in security, this time involving the school's computers) I saw some very questionable artwork in the hallway -- collages of magazine pictures of movie stars, and some very suggestive. I wondered what else they were hiding. By Christmas I was counting the days until we were done with the place. I still didn't know about homeschooling, but I knew we were done with public school. Â So I understand about the security, what with bomb threats, shootings in schools, and so on. Some of our schools are a real mess. But I don't buy that this is all due to security. At my son's private school there was a pretty strict pick-up line that was heavily monitored by all the teachers. At this public school, any yahoo could drive up and my son could have gotten in the car with anybody. Â When I was in high school, I overheard my band director say "the only good parent is an invisible parent." I think this is the opinion of a majority of public school teachers. In my experience with my own kids and hearing other moms of private school students, private school teachers do not generally act this way. They want to communicate with parents. They want to see them, and are grateful for their assistance. I know some parents can be annoying, but I can't understand the total alienation of teacher from parent. Â I took my kid out of public school, not only for the serious lack of judgment on the part of the teacher and the principal, but also because of a serious lack of communication in general. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbie Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 My kid would be pulled, what exactly are they hiding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted September 12, 2008 Author Share Posted September 12, 2008 In answer to the "what is the whole story" questions... Â I'd love to say there is this big story but there isn't. There are 9 elementary buildings in our district. I have no idea what isolated incident spawned this district-wide policy but I am sure there was one. This particular incident was not it. It was just one principal complaining about one parent. And by "protest" I mean "argued her point" with the principal (principals do not generally like that). Â I understand that they are worried about disruptions, getting class started on time, etc. I think it was just the whole "these parents are nothing but a nuisance" attitude and the fact that their need to have a highly-controlled cookie-cutter environment trumped the need of a student or a parent. Â The "we are in control of your child" sentiment gave me the heebie-jeebies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In The Great White North Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Well, legally, once you enroll your dc in a public school and they are on the public school grounds during school hours, your child is technically and legally a "ward of the state" and you have given up your rights to your child during those times. Â Really? I don't think that is the way the courts have ruled (except in California). What law were you referring to? Â If the children were legally a "ward of the state" while in school, there would be no requirements to get parent's consent for movies, field trips, giving a child Tylenol, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PariSarah Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 . . . being turned into a weapon. Â I mean, when you're responsible for a thousand kids, you just can't let any random adult walk in and say, "I'm going to visit my kid." And in this age of blended families and custodial disputes, you can't just let a parent in and say, "My kid's coming home with me now." There is a legitimate need for order, for the safety of the kids, for making sure the right kid is going home with the right parent, that sort of thing. So I understand the reason for there to be some barriers between the kids and the perfect stranger walking up the front steps. Â But this example, and Mom to Aly's example below, are just ludicrous. There is absolutely no call for a custodial parent to be receiving threats like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Katia Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Really? I don't think that is the way the courts have ruled (except in California). What law were you referring to? If the children were legally a "ward of the state" while in school, there would be no requirements to get parent's consent for movies, field trips, giving a child Tylenol, etc.  At the time, we were living in Oklahoma. Our son was in 3rd grade and he would come home talking about riding in a van. What?? I drove him to school and picked him up. When did he ride in a van? Well, he knew the teacher took him to a van and he rode somewhere and had some kind of tests. That's all he knew. Whoaaa!  So, I called the school and asked what was going on. They said they didn't have to tell me. It was confidential. They didn't need my permission to send him anywhere in school vehicles for school purposes because when he stepped into the school building he was a "ward of the state" and if I had a problem with that, they would refer me to their lawyers. Yep.  Well, what they were doing really wasn't a big deal and if they had just communicated with me.......but they didn't and they let me know that I, as a parent, had no legal rights to my son when he was at school. Period.  They were just taking him to another building and giving him hearing tests as they noticed something seemed to be wrong. I could have saved them all the trouble since I had known this for years and years and I had been taking him to a hearing specialist. But....they just assumed that I was a stupid parent that didn't know my son had a problem and that they were the only knowledgeable ones and would 'help' him.  Sorry, but my children will never, if I can possibly help it, be "wards of the state" at any time for any reason.  I don't have a link to a law. This happened years and years ago, but we have been told my other administrators in other states that this is true across the board in any state. Your kids belong to the state when they are in public school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 I knew about this because this happened with my goddaughter 11 years ago, when she was 8. Her teacher basically called her a liar in front of the whole class. She went to the bathroom, cried so hard she threw up, went to the clinic and called her mom without her teacher's permission and asked her to pick her up. Her mom went to pick her up, but by then the teacher had figured it all out and told the principal the whole story. The principal was waiting at the door for me and her mom (she had called me too), and refused to let us in the building--he told us that if we stepped foot in the school, he would call the police and have us arrested for trespassing. As soon as that child walked into the building, she was in the custody of the school, until school was over.  My friend started homeschooling her daughter the next day. Unbelievable, isn't it? I do believe that would be kidnapping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CLHCO Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Really? I don't think that is the way the courts have ruled (except in California). What law were you referring to? If the children were legally a "ward of the state" while in school, there would be no requirements to get parent's consent for movies, field trips, giving a child Tylenol, etc. In loco parentis  I am not a lawyer, in fact, I'm rather law challenged, but if my limited memory serves me, this is sort of the basic legal framework they work from so in a sense, you are handing your kids over as wards of the state during the time the schools are to be in charge of them. There are some restrictions on this but in many areas it is taken to further extremes because it is a rather broad definition. Where it begins and ends can be rather, uh, fuzzy, which is why the limits of this are seen in court at times. Some cases are over a student's rights. In most cases regarding parent's rights, if memory serves, the court has favored the schools to act in what they consider the child's best interest whenever a child is in their care.  So, if this school thinks it is in the best interest of the children in their care to separate them from their parents, I tend to think the courts would side with the school unless it was shown the school was negligent in some way and harmed the child because of this, which I doubt could be found.  I do wonder about "permission slips" though when they can take kids where they wish for testing. Why not the movies? Like I said, I think it's "fuzzy" sometimes.  Not being a fan of giving my child over to any In loco parentis, I tend to be a die hard, helicopter hovering, homeschool mother. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tibbyl Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Let's say, hypothetically, that one or more of your elementary aged children attended a local public school. And let's say, hypothetically, that your child was very shy, or maybe you were insecure about their surroundings or maybe you just liked it, but for whatever reason you wanted to walk your child to their classroom. And let's say, hypothetically, that the principal of the building told you that you were not allowed into the building, you had to leave your child at the door to the building (no matter how hard they cry and regardless of whatever reason you have for wanting to walk them to class). And let's say, hypothetically, that when you protested that decision, the principal had you banned from the premises and you will be arrested for trespassing if you step onto school property again (but your child is still expected to attend). That's exactly what is going on in the district I work for. I am not a principal but I often sit in on their monthy meetings and this was the topic of discussion this week.  So what does the hive think of this? I am very curious.  At our local public schools, the parents are not allowed to walk child to classroom. Only time parents are allowed to roam freely in hallways is during events like an open house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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