In the modern era of no land line phones...

[kirstenhill]

This is one of those "common" or "no, that's weird" questions...LOL

 

We don't have a land line phone and neither does most anyone we know.  Let's say kids friends are at your house without their parents (kids young enough not to have a cell phone, and they live farther away than shouting distance).  They need to ask their parents something -- May I stay later? Am I allowed to play video games? May I eat dinner here?  Or whatever.    So, kids have now more than once asked me, "Will you please call my parents and ask if I can...."   vs. what I would have done as a kid which is asked my host, "May I use your phone to ask my parents if I can..."  

 

Is this normal in the cell phone age because kids think they won't be allowed to use someone else's personal phone? Or do most kids still ask "may I use your phone?"  

 

Should I just tell them "no" and hand them my phone to use? (Except then I have to show them how to use it because it isn't a common model, and make sure they don't drop my expensive phone, I guess? Or I could let them use my DD's super old phone...assuming I can find it and the battery is charged...)  Just to be clear I have no trouble with these friends hanging out at my house...I just can't figure out if it should be bugging me or not that they are asking me to call parents on their behalf... :lol:

 

 

[FriedClams]

I just hand them my phone.

[Acorn]

My phone is password protected, so I'd have to get it set up for the guest.

 

If my child called me, for some things like staying later, I'd want to talk with parent myself to make sure parent agrees.

[happypamama]

I have a cheap dumb phone, so I'm not worried about it getting broken. I'd hand it to a kid, no problem. I might let the kid call his or her parent first, and then I'd probably take the phone back to talk to the parent myself to confirm.

[Amy in NH]

I would dial the number and then hand it to them.

 

But we have a land-line because there is no cell service where we live - it is spotty in most of this area of the state.

[Pawz4me]

I don't know, but I can think of several reasons a child might not think it was appropriate to use another person's device and so might think that asking the person to call was the better option.  The password issue, lack of familiarity with the particular model of phone, the fact that a cell phone may contain personal information, and because since almost everyone has some form of caller ID their parents would probably assume it was you calling anyway.

[SquirrellyMama]

We still have a land line so when I'm asked this question I usually just hand them the phone :) If we didn't have a land line I would probably send a text on behalf of the child, or I'd possibly hand them my phone. I would be afraid of kids dropping my cell phone and breaking it.

 

Is this normal in the cell phone age because kids think they won't be allowed to use someone else's personal phone? Or do most kids still ask "may I use your phone?"

 

I think this is probably a big reason kids ask. Maybe their parents won't let them use their phones so they assume they are not allowed to use yours.

 

Kelly

[kewb]

Yes, I think it is the new normal.

[kirstenhill]

Ok, that reasoning makes a lot of sense!

 

The one time I think it was maybe borderline of reasonable was when a neighborhood friend came biking up as I was leaving out the door with little DS to pick up the other boys at an event.  DD was around the corner playing with another friend.  I honestly had no idea if the other friend's parents were home or not where DD was, because DD is old enough to stay home for the short amount of time I would be gone, and she knew I was leaving for a few minutes.  Friend on the bike asks to play with DD, and I say "She is around the corner with _____".  The friend yells as she bikes off around the corner, "Please text my mom and tell her I'll be at ____'s house!".   I was like what?? Why do I have to do that when I am already running late to leave? But I did it...LOL.  We are good friends with the family and I didn't want them to be worried about where their kid was if they came looking.

[SquirrellyMama]

Ok, that reasoning makes a lot of sense!

 

The one time I think it was maybe borderline of reasonable was when a neighborhood friend came biking up as I was leaving out the door with little DS to pick up the other boys at an event.  DD was around the corner playing with another friend.  I honestly had no idea if the other friend's parents were home or not where DD was, because DD is old enough to stay home for the short amount of time I would be gone, and she knew I was leaving for a few minutes.  Friend on the bike asks to play with DD, and I say "She is around the corner with _____".  The friend yells as she bikes off around the corner, "Please text my mom and tell her I'll be at ____'s house!".   I was like what?? Why do I have to do that when I am already running late to leave? But I did it...LOL.  We are good friends with the family and I didn't want them to be worried about where their kid was if they came looking.

 

I would have thought the same thing, done the same thing, for the same reason :)

 

Kelly

 

 

 

[Orthodox6]

If the child did not have a cell phone, and asked me to make a call to parents, I would do so.  I can see how this lands in the "quasi-non-rational"; however, a landline phone is an all-purpose phone, whereas a cell phone is personal property.  The scenario described shows good manners on the part of the visiting child.  If an older teen were visiting and did not have a cell phone, he or she would be asking to borrow that of whichever child of mine he/she was visiting. 

 

We have a landline because my father refuses to use a cell phone.  The rest of us have individual cell phones as well. 

[redsquirrel]

It depends on the kid. I know some kids who politely ask to use my phone and some who would think it impolite to ask to use a personal phone. Neither bothers me and I don't think either is impolite. I also know some adults who would think a kid was being presumptuous if the kid asked to use a personal phone. It's still a big fraught and hasn't been all worked out yet.

 

Part of the reason I still have a land line is that I don't want the kids' friends calling me on my phone to talk to the boys. Just...no!  And you notice how it is always the mom's phone that gets used as the defacto phone for friends? Why not dh's phone? Grrrr....

 

 

[RegGuheert]

And you notice how it is always the mom's phone that gets used as the defacto phone for friends?

 

That's how it is here, too. ;)

 

We use DW's phone as our home phone AND we have an "extra" cellular phone for our kids to call out on (or us to call IN on) when we are both out.  DW's phone, my phone and the "extra" phone are all connected to this device which allows us to call out or to receive calls to any of those phones using the standard cordless phones.

 

The telephone number of the "extra" cellular phone is *never* given out so that we do not receive unsolicited calls on it.  The kids also verify using caller ID who is calling BEFORE they answer calls to that number when we are away.

 

At $10/month, the "extra" cellular phone is quite a bit cheaper than a land line and the quality is much better.  It also eliminates having two separate bills each month.

 

So there is no need to "share" our cell phones if a guest wants to make a call.  We simply hand them one of our cordless phones.  I doubt they even know they are not calling on a land line.

[MomtoCandJ]

I would hand them the cheap prepaid "house" cell phone. But dd1's friends are on the under 8 side for the most part so I just text their parents. We bought the prepaid phone for the teen sitters I had for math class and will use that as the emergency house phone and for the girls as they get older.

Crap that reminds me that I need to start looking for a sitter for dd2 starting in January. I prefer one to be at our home because dd2 doesn't handle being at daycare well.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I have a land line.

 

 

[Orthodox6]

At least party lines are a thing of the past!

[Debbi in Texas]

I have a land line also. Would love to get rid of that bill.

[rebbyribs]

I'd place the call and tell the parent "Hi, [your kid] wanted to ask you something," and then pass the phone over to the kid.  My kids are used to talking on the phone but don't have much experience making calls.

[katilac]

Ok, that reasoning makes a lot of sense!

 

The one time I think it was maybe borderline of reasonable was when a neighborhood friend came biking up as I was leaving out the door with little DS to pick up the other boys at an event.  DD was around the corner playing with another friend.  I honestly had no idea if the other friend's parents were home or not where DD was, because DD is old enough to stay home for the short amount of time I would be gone, and she knew I was leaving for a few minutes.  Friend on the bike asks to play with DD, and I say "She is around the corner with _____".  The friend yells as she bikes off around the corner, "Please text my mom and tell her I'll be at ____'s house!".   I was like what?? Why do I have to do that when I am already running late to leave? But I did it...LOL.  We are good friends with the family and I didn't want them to be worried about where their kid was if they came looking.

 

Yeah, that's completely different. 

 

A bit rude, in that 'kids can be clueless' way, but I would have done it as well. And then told the kid next time I saw them to ask, not tell, lol. 

[gardenmom5]

hmm, millennials problems.  I have landlines. (1dd has a landline in her house too, and her cell phone. 2dd only has a cell - but she has an apartment and dudeling has only been there once.)

 

dial the number for the kid - and hand them the phone.  the child should do the talking to their parents.  dudeling hasn't called me from other people's houses - so I'm not sure what he'd do if there wasn't a landline.  I won't get him a cell phone until he's older and does a lot more with out me on a regular basis.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

At least party lines are a thing of the past!

 

My grandparents used to have one of these, long past when they were phased out. Rural living.

 

 

 

 

 

I hand kids my cell phone if they need to call home if necessary, most have phones with them though.

[HSMWB]

Hmmm, I would be a bit upset if some other child thought it was ok to take my phone and start using it without asking. Never mind that it is password protected and while my own kids know the password, they are still expected to ask as well before using it.

 

I think asking if you could call, or asking to use it to make the call are both fine and polite. We no longer have a land line.

[Arcadia]

My iPhone is in an otterbox case because of my kids.  I had handed my phone over to neighbor's kids that wanted to ask their mom/dad something.  My neighbor has my phone number in the first place since we don't have land lines. 

If a parent leaves their kid(s) at my home to play, the parent and spouse definitely have my cell phone number already.  So I would have just let their kids place the call to their parent directly. So far every kid that comes over is more proficient at my iPhone than me.

[Tanaqui]

At least party lines are a thing of the past!

 

On the other hand, I miss the ability to have one person on the phone in the kitchen and the other on the phone in the living room and both of you talking to Grandma at the SAME TIME.

 

Wikipedia says that some party lines still exist, but I doubt you can get a new one. At least you can still get multiple outlets for a landline if so inclined.

[SKL]

When I've been in a situation of a child needing to use my phone to call, I have opened it to the dialing screen and handed it over.

[katilac]

On the other hand, I miss the ability to have one person on the phone in the kitchen and the other on the phone in the living room and both of you talking to Grandma at the SAME TIME.

 

Wikipedia says that some party lines still exist, but I doubt you can get a new one. At least you can still get multiple outlets for a landline if so inclined.

 

You can do that with a regular landline, we do it all the time. 

 

Or do you mean you miss not being able to do that bc you only have cell phones? 

[J-rap]

I think cell phones are considered more personal.  They're so much more than phones now, too.  They contain all sorts of important information.  They're little computers! 

 

But I think if someone asked me to use my cell phone, I'd unlock it and get it set up to make a call, and then hand it to them.

 

[RegGuheert]

On the other hand, I miss the ability to have one person on the phone in the kitchen and the other on the phone in the living room and both of you talking to Grandma at the SAME TIME.

 

We still do that all the time with our cordless phones using this device.  But we do not have a landline and the call is still being handled wirelessly through a cell phone.

[redsquirrel]

On the other hand, I miss the ability to have one person on the phone in the kitchen and the other on the phone in the living room and both of you talking to Grandma at the SAME TIME.

 

Wikipedia says that some party lines still exist, but I doubt you can get a new one. At least you can still get multiple outlets for a landline if so inclined.

 

That is what skype and facetime are for, lol

[poppy]

I have seen too many people using cell phones in restrooms...  I think a cell is very personal. I had a  store clerk take my phone from my hand once to enlarge a coupon and I was taken aback. I didn't mind, but I was truly surprised she'd touch someone else's phone.

[Guest]

Nobody has landlines? Almost everyone I know does, we may be weird. I don't even use my cell for calls except long distance.

 

I'd fully expect children to not have a phone with them and if they needed to call and I didn't have a landline I'd hand them my cell.

[Guest]

I don't know, but I can think of several reasons a child might not think it was appropriate to use another person's device and so might think that asking the person to call was the better option. The password issue, lack of familiarity with the particular model of phone, the fact that a cell phone may contain personal information, and because since almost everyone has some form of caller ID their parents would probably assume it was you calling anyway.

Oh yes, I think it goes without saying that it's a courtesy to at least get it to the number pad for the person, especially since every phone is different and any phone with an iota of personal data needs password protection.

[Tanaqui]

I mean I miss doing it on landlines :)

 

We haven't had a landline in over 10 years, and I don't know anybody whose landline number I know, so it's possible most people I know don't have one either. Even my grandmother is exclusively on a cell phone nowadays!

[poppy]

Nobody has landlines? Almost everyone I know does, we may be weird. I don't even use my cell for calls except long distance.

 

I'd fully expect children to not have a phone with them and if they needed to call and I didn't have a landline I'd hand them my cell.

 

Does your area have good cell coverage? I know many, many, many people without landlines here in Boston where we have several carriers with great coverage.  But I think it's less true the more rural you are.

[mommaduck]

We have a landline ONLY for emergencies and to be able to have internet (the phone co-op refuses to give you just internet).

[kirstenhill]

I'd place the call and tell the parent "Hi, [your kid] wanted to ask you something," and then pass the phone over to the kid.  My kids are used to talking on the phone but don't have much experience making calls.

 

I really like this!  I guess part of what made me slightly uncomfortable with the, "Will you call my mom..." situation is that I felt a little bit like when older boy sends younger boy to ask, "Can [older brother] play minecraft right now?"  Or something like that.  It feels like I'm getting in the middle of what could be a conversation fraught with expectations.  I don't know what parent told visiting child previously about how long to stay, if it was okay to play video games, etc, and sometimes I feel like I might be opening a can of worms to be the one doing the asking...LOL!

 

When it happened last night it was like "no big deal" -- I just called my friend (visiting kids' mom) and said, "hey, I know your girls just biked down here to drop off a note, but they are wondering if it is also okay to stay an extra 15 minutes to play."  It wasn't too weird.  But when it was a neighbor kid I didn't know as well, and they asked me to call to see if they could have permission to play minecraft with my kid, I felt....strange to be the one asking because I didn't know them well enough to know how their family handles stuff like that.

 

[Guest]

Does your area have good cell coverage? I know many, many, many people without landlines here in Boston where we have several carriers with great coverage. But I think it's less true the more rural you are.

Yes, pretty good coverage. I live on the north side of a hill in the far northern hemisphere and mine is spottier than most people in a fifty mile radius of me, but I can still get good reception even here. There are parts of Alaska that have no cell coverage, just satellite, but I'm not in one of them. I think it's more w function of me and a bunch of my friends all being homeschoolers, so we are home all day to answer landlines compared with working friends. I don't want people able to call me when I'm in the car, so I just never give out my cell. The home phone is SO much more convenient for call screening :D

[edelweiss]

Nobody has landlines? Almost everyone I know does, we may be weird. I don't even use my cell for calls except long distance.

 

I'd fully expect children to not have a phone with them and if they needed to call and I didn't have a landline I'd hand them my cell.

I have a landline. Actually most of the people I know still have landlines. Our cell service is just fine, but I love having a landline. I don't like talking on cell phones and I don't want everyone to be able to reach me at any time, so I only give my cell phone number to people I don't mind hearing from when I am out. I don't ever plan to get rid of my landline!

[RegGuheert]

Does your area have good cell coverage? I know many, many, many people without landlines here in Boston where we have several carriers with great coverage.  But I think it's less true the more rural you are.

 

It's true that cell coverage is worse in the rural area where I live.  But what is MORE true is that the land lines have deteriorated to the point that they often do not work when it rains.  IMO, the phone company is really not maintaining that system but rather is simply milking existing land line customers for all they can get until the system completely fails.

[mommaduck]

It's true that cell coverage is worse in the rural area where I live.  But what is MORE true is that the land lines have deteriorated to the point that they often do not work when it rains.  IMO, the phone company is really not maintaining that system but rather is simply milking existing land line customers for all they can get.

 

 

Internet even stinks.

[Amy in NH]

It's true that cell coverage is worse in the rural area where I live.  But what is MORE true is that the land lines have deteriorated to the point that they often do not work when it rains.  IMO, the phone company is really not maintaining that system but rather is simply milking existing land line customers for all they can get until the system completely fails.

 

Perhaps that will be the impetus to finally get good cell coverage over the entire continent AND take down all the ugly telephone poles and wires.

 

Oh yeah, but electricity.  I guess that'll be next, huh?

[Pawz4me]

Nobody has landlines? Almost everyone I know does, we may be weird. I don't even use my cell for calls except long distance.

 

Very few of our family or friends do.  Even my 80 yo MIL gave up her land line a few years ago.  We haven't had one in about 12-15 years.

[kirstenhill]

I have a landline. Actually most of the people I know still have landlines. Our cell service is just fine, but I love having a landline. I don't like talking on cell phones and I don't want everyone to be able to reach me at any time, so I only give my cell phone number to people I don't mind hearing from when I am out. I don't ever plan to get rid of my landline!

 

Here's my "no landline" secret -- I have a google voice number that actually used to be our landline number.  It goes right to voice mail and I get an email if there is a voice mail.  Any place I think I might get "telemarketing" calls from (Bank, credit card, political party, automated reminder calls from various places, etc) gets that "home" number as well as anyone I think I need to give a number to but don't want to talk to very often.   I get a voice mail if there is an actual need for bank, etc to speak to someone...otherwise all the telemarketers don't leave a message, so I never get bothered.  It has been a great solution for us.  I can still screen calls on my cell phone if someone calls that I am not in the mood to talk to. It's pretty easy to send those to voice mail.

[poppy]

Yes, pretty good coverage. I live on the north side of a hill in the far northern hemisphere and mine is spottier than most people in a fifty mile radius of me, but I can still get good reception even here. There are parts of Alaska that have no cell coverage, just satellite, but I'm not in one of them. I think it's more w function of me and a bunch of my friends all being homeschoolers, so we are home all day to answer landlines compared with working friends. I don't want people able to call me when I'm in the car, so I just never give out my cell. The home phone is SO much more convenient for call screening :D

 

Everyone is home all day - not at activities and clubs and outings and so on?

 

I get the "I don't want other people to be able to reach me when I'm out" thing, that's how me & most of my circle were 6-8 years ago, but it's so much easier now.  I have my email, calendar, phone with me all day so I am free to go anywhere, anytime without missing a beat.   Of course I can and DO ignore it all when I want to.  My phone is muted most of the time.

[Farrar]

I haven't read all the responses, but this is definitely one of the ways that technology is handicapping kids these days. It's just awkward, I find.

 

My kids often take my phone and text their friends' parents things for the friends. So it'll be like, "Tell friend blah blah blah. By the way, this is not Farrar." Argh. I know we all find it weird. But I'm not sure what the remedy is.

 

One of the soccer parents on our team set up the refs a couple of seasons ago. The refs are all young teens - some as young as 13 or so. She had the most hilarious impression of a phone call with them. Basically, her phone would show a random number. She'd answer. The person on the other end would just say, "Hello." She'd have to  slowly elicit all the information from them. Are you maybe calling because you want to ref a game? Is it maybe this weekend's game? Can you maybe tell me your name? She said they were all like that too. And I wish I could say that my kids would be so much better... but they probably wouldn't! Kids and cell phones. It's just awkward.

[RegGuheert]

Perhaps that will be the impetus to finally get good cell coverage over the entire continent AND take down all the ugly telephone poles and wires.

 

People switch because they have better and/or cheaper cell service than their land lines provided.  Yeah, I'd LOVE to see all those telephone poles taken down.  Their are both ugly and dangerous.

 

Oh yeah, but electricity.  I guess that'll be next, huh?

 

That's the next big battleground.  We already produce 100% of the electricity that we consume (>18MWh/year).  We receive that energy wirelessly from the Sun.  However, we do not produce it at the times when we need it, so we still use the grid as a super-cheap battery.  But there are areas of the world today where grid electricity prices are at the point where it is not competitive with renewable solutions which include batteries.  Hawaii is one example.  As a result of customers leaving the grid, the tension between the utilities and their existing customers will grow since the remaining grid customers will be forced to pay more to maintain what is left.  It will be a quite similar situation, IME.

 

But so far we have not yet had any guests feel they had to ask if they could use our electricity! ;)

[Guest]

Everyone is home all day - not at activities and clubs and outings and so on?

 

I get the "I don't want other people to be able to reach me when I'm out" thing, that's how me & most of my circle were 6-8 years ago, but it's so much easier now. I have my email, calendar, phone with me all day so I am free to go anywhere, anytime without missing a beat. Of course I can and DO ignore it all when I want to. My phone is muted most of the time.

Eh, one of us is almost always home, and when we are out we don't want to talk to people anyway. This year we are definitely gone more, but in previous years we were home all but maybe eight hours a week. It was nice, I'm kind of dreading this year's schedule - being home is so much better than being gone.

[katilac]

I've thought about it a bit, and I think that "would you call my mom?" is actually a bit more on the polite side than "can I use your phone?" 

 

If they ask if you can call their mom, and you'd prefer that they call, it's easy and polite to say "You may use my phone, I'll get it to the number pad for you." 

 

If they ask to use your phone, and you'd prefer they didn't, it's more awkward to say no, but I'll call for you. 

[SporkUK]

We have our landline and so do all the family and friends to my knowledge (and as a 3 adult house with mainly home based hobbies and one being a night worker, it is very rare for no one to be at our house -- our answering machine is usually for when the toddler has turned off the ringer while playing with it...) but it has happened when they are out elsewhere. My eldest has asked to use others phones and they've all seen us ask for when our mobiles have died or we forget it (we're very bad with mobile phones, mine still has most of the £10 on it from when I bought it years back as I just don't think to have a phone out with me as I dislike using the phone and we're either in town with easy access to phones or out where there is little coverage - I do like having it sit in my room for emergencies though). I've considered getting my kids those uber walkie talkies when their older to deal with the access issue. 

 

I have had issues here with their friends claiming they don't know their home or their parents numbers (when it is obvious they do but don't want to call). This has resulted in my partner checking their parents' numbers in his phone in front of them before their parents leave and me more than once commenting that I can just message them on facebook. They always seem to prefer calling on their own than us doing so after knowing we can without them though we always check what was said anyways.