purplejackmama Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 My friend posted on facebook this morning about her high school daughter. Her daughter, a varsity cheerleader, skipped school yesterday and drove to a fast food restaurant. While there she was smoking. Someone took a pic of this and sent it to the school administrators. She was suspended for 3 days and kicked off the cheerleading squad. The cheerleaders sign a no smoking "contract" so I'm guessing that's why she was kicked off. The skipping school must be what warranted the school suspension. I'm not sure exactly how all the punishment works. Whatever. Bottom line kid screwed up. There are currently 54 comments on this post and 90% of them, are telling the mom to "hire an attorney!!" "Go to the school board!!" "Fight this ridiculous punishment!!" Really? Seriously, hire an attorney? Am I just too old fashioned? None of these thoughts would enter my mind. I would be sad for my child, but I can't fathom hiring an attorney or appealing to the superintendent. Ok, I'm done :) 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umsami Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 If it was my DD, I'd want her to accept the punishment with grace, rather than fighting it. She messed up and got caught. End of story. 45 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 If my kid did that, they would have earned their punishment. I would be disappointed in them, but not really sad for them. That is crazy talk. 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 She knew the rules. She agreed to the rules. She broke the rules. Unfortunately, we now seem to live in a society which holds the prevailing thought that no one should accept responsibility for their decisions and actions. 24 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 My friend posted on facebook this morning about her high school daughter. Her daughter, a varsity cheerleader, skipped school yesterday and drove to a fast food restaurant. While there she was smoking. Someone took a pic of this and sent it to the school administrators. She was suspended for 3 days and kicked off the cheerleading squad. The cheerleaders sign a no smoking "contract" so I'm guessing that's why she was kicked off. The skipping school must be what warranted the school suspension. I'm not sure exactly how all the punishment works. Whatever. Bottom line kid screwed up. There are currently 54 comments on this post and 90% of them, are telling the mom to "hire an attorney!!" "Go to the school board!!" "Fight this ridiculous punishment!!" Really? Seriously, hire an attorney? Am I just too old fashioned? None of these thoughts would enter my mind. I would be sad for my child, but I can't fathom hiring an attorney or appealing to the superintendent. Ok, I'm done :) If this were my kid, he would be grateful if that is all that happened. This kind of behavior would not bode well here and result loss of privileges such as driving for an extended period of time and such. Good grief! Hire an attorney???? :banghead: 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JBJones Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Totally crazy. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Some people cannot stand for their kids to have any consequences to their actions. It is becoming a problem with society in general. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Because being kicked off the cheerleading squad is a worse punishment than death. :/ She knowingly broke two very clear rules. It seems pretty black and white to me. A 3-day suspension doesn't sound ridiculous to me. I assume it won't stop her from graduation / promotion / important stuff next year? I have relatives who protested a 6-month expulsion that would have kept their kid out of the international baccalaureate program for the next 4 years. Now that was worth it. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Am I the only person who would never have posted that on facebook in the first place? I would have given my kid the "oh well, look what you did to yourself" look and moved on. Yes, I would have been sad, just like I was sad to have to tell my kid off last week for saying unhelpful things to her soccer teammate. It sucks, but it's part of parenting and part of life. I am glad the school discipline policies can sometimes make it easier for us. 23 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplejackmama Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 Am I the only person who would never have posted that on facebook in the first place? Well the facebook post was a follow up to the mom's rant on Twitter!! So there's that. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 She broke the rules AND got caught. I'm sure other cheerleaders have smoked. I'm sure other cheerleaders have skipped school. However, she was the one caught. She knew the rules when she took the risk of breaking them. Rules were laid out before trying out for cheer. The school probably also have a code of conduct that students must sign each year that covers skipping. She got caught she must face consequences. I have an older brother who never got caught. He might as well have been Ferris Bueller. I, on the other hand, knew I had trouble covering my tracks. I never broke a rule for that reason. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 You are not old fashioned. Cheerleaders are role models (as are all student leaders and athletes). Smoking is seriously addictive and harmful and there should be serious consequences. If she didn't want to face the consequences she shouldn't have engaged in the behavior. I don't think the consequences were light, though. Getting kicked off a varsity sport is a huge deal, plus the suspension. To me, that is a fair, reasonable consequence and I wouldn't add to it. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thessa516 Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 The thing that seems weird to me is that she skipped school and the school's response is to suspend her for 3 days. Ha! She didn't want to be there in the first place and now she gets three days off. What happened to detention? That'd make more sense. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 I also think that in the case of smoking, my upset would be over my kid getting addicted to those nasty things. Skipping school? I did it. I also got suspended. I lived through it. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 If she had any sense, she would have skipped school but not smoked. Oh, well, nobody's perfect. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplejackmama Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 The thing that seems weird to me is that she skipped school and the school's response is to suspend her for 3 days. Ha! She didn't want to be there in the first place and now she gets three days off. What happened to detention? That'd make more sense. I think it's in-school suspension. Not sure how that works? Sit in a room for 3 days? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 I think it's in-school suspension. Not sure how that works? Sit in a room for 3 days? In school suspension (otherwise known as detention in some places) sometimes means doing all your school work in one room for however many days you have suspension (including lunch). For other in-school suspensions it can mean sitting in a room while someone gives you busy work. Or lectures on behavior. Sometimes you just sit. Depends on the school policy. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 I think it's in-school suspension. Not sure how that works? Sit in a room for 3 days? ISS. You report to school at the regular time and go to the ISS room. Your teachers are to have sent assignments for you to complete there. You cannot leave the room all day, including lunch (cafeteria lunch is brought to the classroom for those who purchase it). I'm sure some provision is made for toilet breaks, but in some schools the ISS room is a room that has a small bathroom in the room. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luuknam Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 ISS. You report to school at the regular time and go to the ISS room. Your teachers are to have sent assignments for you to complete there. You cannot leave the room all day, including lunch (cafeteria lunch is brought to the classroom for those who purchase it). I'm sure some provision is made for toilet breaks, but in some schools the ISS room is a room that has a small bathroom in the room. My wife has mentioned that there were kids in her gifted & talented elementary school who tried to get ISS as often as possible, so they could quickly get their assignments done and then just read or w/e. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cottonwood Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 And that's what's wrong with,.....a lot of things these days. Kids should feel the full consequences of their choices. And moms shouldnt air their kids' transgressions on social media. An attorney? What's to fight? Ridiculous. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 If she signed the contract and it stated she'd be removed from the team, then she knew the consequences before she did it. I DO think getting kicked off the team for the first infraction is too harsh. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Crazy is right. Please let us know if there is any followup information, like a lawsuit! ETA: I guess in years past people could easily get away with something like this. No photo = no proof = no punishment. Maybe everyone having a camera in their pocket isn't such a good thing. At least, I bet this girl is thinking that right now. Maybe they'll sue the person who took the pic. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 My wife has mentioned that there were kids in her gifted & talented elementary school who tried to get ISS as often as possible, so they could quickly get their assignments done and then just read or w/e. I've never heard of ISS in elementary. One my kids would have enjoyed being locked in a room with books for 6hours at that age. In high school ISS is a pretty big punishment for kids who feed on the social life of school Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Some people cannot stand for their kids to have any consequences to their actions. It is becoming a problem with society in general. yup... I've seen it over and over again.... and then we get stories like this: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/12/affluenza-defense-probation-for-deadly-dwi_n_4430807.html Add me to the old-fashioned list. It never would have crossed my mind to hire an attorney. My kids break the rules, they live with the consequences. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlsdMama Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 She made an agreement. She broke her word. There are consequences. The end. Sigh. Hopefully Mom has some sense to advocate for the greater good, her daughter's character. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clementine Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 We had to sign a no smoking contract in our high school too - and we had a fellow athlete kicked off the team for breaking the contract. Follow-through is less enforced bu parents nowadays, IMO. So, they can't handle it when others DO follow through with punishment. I would love to know of updates too!! :) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 My cousin was telling me the story of a kid in her son's school. He is a junior and a football player expected to go to college on athletic scholarship. In class his buddy, a boy walked by and this kid pants him. Not all the way down, but to where it showed his underware a bit. Buddy didn't complain, wasn't upset....but teacher saw it and the kid was expelled long enough that it will run Into his senior year and screw up his senior year of football. If that story is true that is ridiculous. But the cheerleader? Yeah she broke the rules and is paying the price. A lawyer is just crazy talk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 If she signed the contract and it stated she'd be removed from the team, then she knew the consequences before she did it. I DO think getting kicked off the team for the first infraction is too harsh. I wonder if this is a rampant problem and this girl - being found guilty with evidence - is being made an example. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 If it had been my child there would have been extra consequences. Like spending those three days of suspension cleaning the basement because she would have also broken my rules. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butter Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 I've never heard of ISS in elementary. One my kids would have enjoyed being locked in a room with books for 6hours at that age. My 6 year old got ISS while he was in kindergarten last year. He *loved* it. He got done with his work super fast and then was thoroughly entertained by some administrators the rest of the day. The principal (who he was very, very acquainted with from his many trips to the principal's office) just loved him and spent some time that day teaching him to read. I don't think it ended up being much of a punishment. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 She made an agreement. She broke her word. There are consequences. The end. Sigh. Hopefully Mom has some sense to advocate for the greater good, her daughter's character. I agree, but I doubt she will. Thanks to the mom's actions, the daughter will walk away from this thinking she was the victim here. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 I would assume the suspension is enough to get her kicked off the cheerleading squad without the smoking. Unless she's being charged with truancy or some crime, an attorney is a ridiculous suggestion! (And I am one!) 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 I kind of favor regular suspension because the way that used to work was any assignments missed during the suspension resulted in automatic grades of zero. So it could really hurt your grade, which made sense to me since they were trying to get across the point that you need to be IN school. I don't like ISS so much partly because it puts additional work on teachers who have to come up with work for the student, and sometimes that involves some effort because the class might have been planning a lecture or an experiment or something that's not easily done while in ISS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsWeasley Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 The in-school suspension sounds a bit harsh, as someone who skipped school and only ever got detention, but whatever. I have to say that I strongly disagree with the policy of removing students from athletic teams due to smoking. Cigarettes are extremely addictive, much more so than meth, alcohol, coke, etc... and addicts generally don't respond to consequences. This should be dealt with as a health issue, not a discipline issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplejackmama Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 The in-school suspension sounds a bit harsh, as someone who skipped school and only ever got detention, but whatever. I have to say that I strongly disagree with the policy of removing students from athletic teams due to smoking. Cigarettes are extremely addictive, much more so than meth, alcohol, coke, etc... and addicts generally don't respond to consequences. This should be dealt with as a health issue, not a discipline issue. Mrs. Weasley, do you think she should "hire an attorney" though? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsWeasley Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Mrs. Weasley, do you think she should "hire an attorney" though? No, though I don't think it'd be inappropriate for the mom to talk to the school AFTER her daughter has recovered from her nicotine addiction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Ah the age of Anthony Weiner. Got caught skippin' and smokin by modern technology. A beautiful thing. Why it's all supposed to be all right and go away--ridiculous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 My cousin was telling me the story of a kid in her son's school. He is a junior and a football player expected to go to college on athletic scholarship. In class his buddy, a boy walked by and this kid pants him. Not all the way down, but to where it showed his underware a bit. Buddy didn't complain, wasn't upset....but teacher saw it and the kid was expelled long enough that it will run Into his senior year and screw up his senior year of football. If that story is true that is ridiculous. But the cheerleader? Yeah she broke the rules and is paying the price. A lawyer is just crazy talk. The boy who pulled down the pants was expelled? Sorry, I think violating someone's personal space in this way at school is pretty serious whether or not it was meant to be funny. Suppose he had done this to a girl walking by he didn't know? I think the school NEEDS to put a hard line down on something like that. I think it is extremely short sighted for parents to immediately try to rescue their poor victimized children that are suffering consequences of their own actions. Girls that are cheerleaders and kids in sports in general are often looked up to by kids in the community. To me the contract is understandable and I'm glad the school is actually enforcing. If you don't want to be subject to a school's or a particular activities rules, don't send your child there or let your child participate. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsWeasley Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 My cousin was telling me the story of a kid in her son's school. He is a junior and a football player expected to go to college on athletic scholarship. In class his buddy, a boy walked by and this kid pants him. Not all the way down, but to where it showed his underware a bit. Buddy didn't complain, wasn't upset....but teacher saw it and the kid was expelled long enough that it will run Into his senior year and screw up his senior year of football. If that story is true that is ridiculous. But the cheerleader? Yeah she broke the rules and is paying the price. A lawyer is just crazy talk. I think punishing the cheerleader for smoking is wrong, but I have no sympathy for a kid facing serious consequences for pants-ing another kid. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto10blessings Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 She knew the rules. She agreed to the rules. She broke the rules. Unfortunately, we now seem to live in a society which holds the prevailing thought that no one should accept responsibility for their decisions and actions. Exactly. Own up to your mistakes and learn from them. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Well the facebook post was a follow up to the mom's rant on Twitter!! So there's that. :confused1: How does one manage to rant on Twitter? Aren't all of the posts very short? Just to explain my lack of knowledge: I don't twit/tweet/whatever they do on Twitter. But I agree that: the punishments fit it's ridiculous to contact a lawyer over this Mom should never have posted all of that in the first place (because what she posts about her kids will come back to bite the kids for decades into the future) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Mom should never have posted all of that in the first place (because what she posts about her kids will come back to bite the kids for decades into the future) :iagree: That is the child and family's private information. Nothing you'd want to future employer of your child to see should be posted on social media. That part is totally crazy too. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 And that's what's wrong with,.....a lot of things these days. Kids should feel the full consequences of their choices. And moms shouldnt air their kids' transgressions on social media. An attorney? What's to fight? Ridiculous. Actually, I'm sure sooner or later we will have a court case of someone suing his/her parents over what the parents posted about him/her when he/she was a minor. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinivanMom Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 The boy who pulled down the pants was expelled? Sorry, I think violating someone's personal space in this way at school is pretty serious whether or not it was meant to be funny. Suppose he had done this to a girl walking by he didn't know? I think the school NEEDS to put a hard line down on something like that. I think it is extremely short sighted for parents to immediately try to rescue their poor victimized children that are suffering consequences of their own actions. Girls that are cheerleaders and kids in sports in general are often looked up to by kids in the community. To me the contract is understandable and I'm glad the school is actually enforcing. If you don't want to be subject to a school's or a particular activities rules, don't send your child there or let your child participate. I agree. To me this sounds like it was possibly a bullying incident. If the star of the football team pants you, of course you're going to shrug it off. You don't want to be blamed for ruining his scholarship chances or put yourself in a position where you could be ostracized or bullied further for complaining. I knew many bullying victims back-in-the-day who laughed along with the crowd, because they thought that was the safest way to handle the situation. It's still bullying. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathmarm Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 My cousin was telling me the story of a kid in her son's school. He is a junior and a football player expected to go to college on athletic scholarship. In class his buddy, a boy walked by and this kid pants him. Not all the way down, but to where it showed his underware a bit. Buddy didn't complain, wasn't upset....but teacher saw it and the kid was expelled long enough that it will run Into his senior year and screw up his senior year of football. If that story is true that is ridiculous. But the cheerleader? Yeah she broke the rules and is paying the price. A lawyer is just crazy talk. It sounds like both of those young adults got just punishment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 The in-school suspension sounds a bit harsh, as someone who skipped school and only ever got detention, but whatever. I have to say that I strongly disagree with the policy of removing students from athletic teams due to smoking. Cigarettes are extremely addictive, much more so than meth, alcohol, coke, etc... and addicts generally don't respond to consequences. This should be dealt with as a health issue, not a discipline issue. I agree nicotine is extremely addictive, but nobody forced her to be a cheerleader. I would agree with you if she was being kicked out of school, because she is required to be there or be a truant, despite her addiction. But cheerleading is optional. If an addict signs a contract in which they agree to not do what they're addicted to already, it shouldn't be surprising when it doesn't work out. Or if she started smoking after she signed and that's on her too. I can even give her a bit of a pass if she's young and is not used to being held responsible for her actions. Kids gotta learn sometime. But her mom, nope. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplejackmama Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 I'd be upset with a random person taking a pic of my dd and posting it on social media. Still not sure the purpose of an attorney, though. In this instance, there was no posting of a pic to social media. The photographer took it to the school administration, according to the mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 purplejackmama, I'm curious what, if anything, you posted in reply on FB. I'm usually of the "just stay out of it" mindset, but I was wondering if you were more brave than I am. :D The mom wasn't doing her daughter any favors by making a public spectacle of this issue. But in a much bigger way, the mom isn't doing her daughter any favors by wanting to protect her from the natural results of her choices either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplejackmama Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 purplejackmama, I'm curious what, if anything, you posted in reply on FB. I'm usually of the "just stay out of it" mindset, but I was wondering if you were more brave than I am. :D The mom wasn't doing her daughter any favors by making a public spectacle of this issue. But in a much bigger way, the mom isn't doing her daughter any favors by wanting to protect her from the natural results of her choices either. Oh gretalynne, I didn't touch those comments with a 10 ft pole. Nope. Life's too short for me to jump in there! ;) 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Oh gretalynne, I didn't touch those comments with a 10 ft pole. Nope. Life's too short for me to jump in there! ;) :lol: I completely understand! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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