Ginevra Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 It must be nice to be the teenaged child or souse of a clean freak perfectionist. Because then, you can totally fail to realize that the kitchen is left a hot mess. I'm mostly just angry that I am not well yet. I have several things that must be addressed today and I still feel quite miserable in any position but horizontl. DD stepped up and made dinner last night, for which I am grateful. BUT the part that makes me angry is, having made dinner, she feels absolved of any responsibility to clean up. In one sense, she has a right to feel this way; our pattern has been that the cook does not have to clean up. Everyone normally has post-dinner jobs, so clearly she didn't do hers. Okay. But that still leaves DH and two sons who can recognize that the stove and counter is covered in grease and crumbs, condiments and ingredients still sitting out, cleaned dishes still sitting on the counter, sink dirty, etc. Smeary fingerprints on every appliance. I ranted to them all this morning and told them to fix their own lunches. Mostly I'm just mad that I am not well yet. I have to take a shower and change out of my three-day sweats, but I haven't got the will ATM. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 :grouphug: Whining justified, IMHO. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Sick mom here too and everyone is dropping like flies, thankfully I seem to be on the upswing myself! I feel your pain. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimberly in IN Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Yes, whining is completely justified. Hope you are feeling better soon! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valley Girl Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Sorry they were so thoughtless. How frustrating! I'd have ranted, too. I hope you feel better soon. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GailV Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 :grouphug: I'm not even a clean freak perfectionist, and I get upset about things like that. Something about being sick makes messes seem more annoying. Hope you feel better soon. :grouphug: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 I'm sorry. I had a similar rant a while back. I was sick from November until February, and started back to school full time the last half of January. I have grown children, and they still did not lift a finger to help unless I specifically told them to do something. My house was a disaster. :cursing: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 It must be nice to be the teenaged child or souse of a clean freak perfectionist. Because then, you can totally fail to realize that the kitchen is left a hot mess. I'm mostly just angry that I am not well yet. I have several things that must be addressed today and I still feel quite miserable in any position but horizontl. DD stepped up and made dinner last night, for which I am grateful. BUT the part that makes me angry is, having made dinner, she feels absolved of any responsibility to clean up. In one sense, she has a right to feel this way; our pattern has been that the cook does not have to clean up. Everyone normally has post-dinner jobs, so clearly she didn't do hers. Okay. But that still leaves DH and two sons who can recognize that the stove and counter is covered in grease and crumbs, condiments and ingredients still sitting out, cleaned dishes still sitting on the counter, sink dirty, etc. Smeary fingerprints on every appliance. I ranted to them all this morning and told them to fix their own lunches. Mostly I'm just mad that I am not well yet. I have to take a shower and change out of my three-day sweats, but I haven't got the will ATM. I get it. If I'm not on top of it then it doesn't get done or only gets half done. I'm sorry you're still sick, that is a bummer.... and I know that being sick it makes stuff like that worse. It often makes me wonder if my family will survive if I died... ;) Feel better soon,. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth S Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 At least get out the paper plates & cups this morning. :) . . . And make them eat the leftover Sweet Potatoes as punishment. :) 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hikin' Mama Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Whining justified. I always marvel at the fact that I have to request help when I'm sick, as I always seem to know that others need help when they are sick. Certain male family members are the most clueless. : / And I also keep a pretty clean house. Why does no one realize that, no, this isn't what the house usually looks like? Maybe we should pick up some stuff. I think instead they are wondering why I've been in bed all day. Hope you get feeling better soon! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FloridaLisa Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Oh man. On my best days, when I come in from a meeting or working out of the house and come home to their dishes in the sink, I think "Stink. Oh well. Job security" as I clean up the kitchen. But other days, I am like seriously? You can do calculus, go overseas on a missions trip and you're a cook to order at that restaurant but you cannot for the life rinse your plate and put it in the dishwasher? Life as mom. One day -- not this day for sure Quill -- I'm sure we'll wish for a sink of dishes. Hoping a shower and some hot tea helps you feel better. Lisa 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 I get it. If I'm not on top of it then it doesn't get done or only gets half done. I'm sorry you're still sick, that is a bummer.... and I know that being sick it makes stuff like that worse. It often makes me wonder if my family will survive if I died... ;) Feel better soon,. I seriously wonder that, too. Before I came downstairs, DH had gone down and made coffee. I don't understand that one bit. Should it not occur to him that things were left a mess? Might he not glance around and say to himself, "wow, my woman is not going to like this at all." 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Do not clean the kitchen. Order yourself whatever you want to eat and have it delivered. Just enough for you. Or if you can make it to the kitchen. just get whatever you want - and go back to bed/couch. Mom is sick. Mom doesn't have to clean. Or cook. Mom does get to be pampered a bit - and if no one else will do it, do it for yourself. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostSurprise Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 The unfortunate truth is that most of them do not care that the kitchen is dirty and would not care for a long time. Since this is the unfortunate but very real truth of the matter, you can either dictate to them more specifically or you can totally ignore it. I vote ignore it, stay out of the kitchen as much as possible, and then make them all clean it up when you feel a bit better. It also drives me crazy, but even more I hate that dh takes it personally that I am sick by the second day. It's as if I'm not allowed to be sick more than 6-12 hours. I know in my head he's just annoyed at sickness itself but the big baby can go take his feelings elsewhere. It's not fair to express them to or around me when I'm sick. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 It also drives me crazy, but even more I hate that dh takes it personally that I am sick by the second day. It's as if I'm not allowed to be sick more than 6-12 hours. I know in my head he's just annoyed at sickness itself but the big baby can go take his feelings elsewhere. It's not fair to express them to or around me when I'm sick. Same here. DH is a solution-oriented guy and I know his tendency is to just want to fix the problem. Well, I'm sorry man; sometimes illness has to run its course. FWIW, he acts the same way when the kids are sick, as if there is some medicine I can give them that will instantly heal them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 (Hugs) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 I seriously wonder that, too. Before I came downstairs, DH had gone down and made coffee. I don't understand that one bit. Should it not occur to him that things were left a mess? Might he not glance around and say to himself, "wow, my woman is not going to like this at all." oh yeah... the stories I could tell. I honestly think that meltdowns are the only way to get through...... and then they complain that we are naggy. :glare: We cannot win. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Do not clean the kitchen. Order yourself whatever you want to eat and have it delivered. Just enough for you. Or if you can make it to the kitchen. just get whatever you want - and go back to bed/couch. Mom is sick. Mom doesn't have to clean. Or cook. Mom does get to be pampered a bit - and if no one else will do it, do it for yourself. This. And then I'd tell them I'm going back to bed and that I expect the kitchen to be spotless (maybe not quite my version of spotless, but close) by the time I came down at X:00, or heads would roll. And after heads rolled, they'd STILL have to clean up! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Do not clean the kitchen. Order the kids in there to clean everything up. Grab a Nerf gun & shoot darts from the couch at anyone who tries to avoid the duty. (Of course, they also have to fetch the darts for you so you can reload as needed.) It will make it fun for them, help you vent your frustration, & (hopefully) get the kitchen back in shape. :grouphug: :grouphug: Hope you feel better soon! ETA: And I second the idea of ordering something for you & pampering yourself. I wonder if you can get a big pile of chocolate delivered? 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 I'm sorry you're sick!! I agree with having them clean it up. You rest! Would they like to play some upbeat music while they clean? Or play beat the clock? Put 20 minutes on a timer and work fast. It's amazing how much you can get done, especially with a few people working together. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 :grouphug: Don't lift a finger. They should clean up. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Order the kids in there to clean everything up. Grab a Nerf gun & shoot darts from the couch at anyone who tries to avoid the duty. (Of course, they also have to fetch the darts for you so you can reload as needed.) My son was on a naked streak and after a few days of no clothing touching his body I was done and wanted him dressed. When he refused I declared a rubber band war. Kid's never dressed quicker! Lol. We did go on to have a 45 minute war, but it was fully clothed! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Your kids should be more considerate -- and there is no excuse for your dd leaving ingredients out after she did the cooking. But ultimately, I blame your dh for not taking up the slack while you are sick. He should be behaving more responsibly, and if he knows you like a clean kitchen, he should make sure it stays that way. Period. As it is, it's like he is leaving the work for you to do when you feel better, and that is a rotten thing to do. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 I would just pay her to do it for me at that point. Give her $20 and ask her to make the kitchen Sparkling clean for the rest of the day. Clean up the existing mess and what ever happens between then and the following morning. Easily $10 an hour, as I can't imagine that level of mess taking any more than that to clean up. Then, once you are better, start working on helping everyone to identify that when you are down, they all need to chip in a little bit more. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Your kids should be more considerate -- and there is no excuse for your dd leaving ingredients out after she did the cooking. But ultimately, I blame your dh for not taking up the slack while you are sick. He should be behaving more responsibly, and if he knows you like a clean kitchen, he should make sure it stays that way. Period. As it is, it's like he is leaving the work for you to do when you feel better, and that is a rotten thing to do. Yeah, I do blame DH more or most. He's very ADHD and pays no attention to details. On Sunday, he came into the room, where I was lying at death's door (not really, but just for visual effect) and said, "Are you about ready to go (to dinner at SIL's)?" Yeah, honey, don't I just look like I'm about to leap up any second and go to dinner?! Come on man, try and keep up! I'm not making diddly for dinner tonight. I'm just going to lie here and see how long it takes before someone realizes I'm not moving. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 I hope you feel better very soon! :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Yeah, I do blame DH more or most. He's very ADHD and pays no attention to details. On Sunday, he came into the room, where I was lying at death's door (not really, but just for visual effect) and said, "Are you about ready to go (to dinner at SIL's)?" Yeah, honey, don't I just look like I'm about to leap up any second and go to dinner?! Come on man, try and keep up! I'm not making diddly for dinner tonight. I'm just going to lie here and see how long it takes before someone realizes I'm not moving. Do they at least check occasionally to make sure you're still breathing? ;) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Do they at least check occasionally to make sure you're still breathing? ;) Only if they need something. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbecueMom Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 If you scroll really fast, the title to this thread reads, "Mom is trashed!" Hope you feel better soon. We went straight from puke fest to man cold, and I don't know whether to clean the house up or open all the windows and hope for a tornado. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blondeviolin Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Ugh. I feel your pain, but I don't have teens to help out. So my older kids help themselves and leave a mess. My husband may cook, but leaves out ingredients or supplies (and he's a grown man!) and I walk into the kitchen and just shake my head. He will eventually clean it, but them wants a huge pat-on-the-back. So today, while I'm exhausted and sick and my olders are outside, I didn't even bother when I heard the toddler get in the cat food and stick it all in the cat water. That's my husband's job. Take that! (Also, I just don't move that fast at this point and I'm completely out of commission.) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 He will eventually clean it, but them wants a huge pat-on-the-back. Same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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