marbel Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Last night my daughter and a friend had a birthday party together. Their birthdays are one week apart, and they turned 16, so they asked for a party. It was an interesting experience because the other mother and I are so totally not on the same wavelength with regard to our involvement (as in: I wanted to let the girls do as much as possible on their own and had few opinions on things like colors, food, etc; she wanted a lot of involvement and had a lot of opinions). One of her nonnegotiables was a slide show. My daughter and I put one together - rather grudgingly - and it was OK. The kids (guests) seemed almost to expect it. A couple of other moms who hung around said something like "oh, sure, they have to have a slide show 'cause they'll have one at their wedding so might as well get used to it." I was just standing there going "huh?" (I am pretty clueless about social norms.) I don't see the appeal of looking at someone's old photos in that setting. We tried to stay away from the typical subjects, but our own show was boring to us, how boring must it have been to everyone else? So, just curious, are slide shows a thing? Is it maybe because "sweet sixteen" is a milestone type birthday? (Another aside: if it's a milestone, it's about entering the adult world. So why dwell on toothless baby photos?) I know I am pretty curmudgeonly in general. Maybe more so on this topic? Edited: The guests were all teens, friends of the girls. There were no aunts, grandparents, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I haven't encountered that, but eh if that is what the family does and they like it that's not a big deal to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 We've been out of the birthday party loop for about 5 years now (now that my kids are older), but I haven't ever seen this at a birthday party. At a high school graduation, a wedding reception, and a retirement party? Yes. But not a birthday party. But then again, when we had birthday parties with friends, we tried to do it a little differently. We did of course acknowledge that it was our child's birthday and they were the one who received that special recognition, but beyond that, we organized it so that it was more centered around the guests, because we wanted it to be fun for them, and I don't think a slide show is too much fun for kids... haha. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I've never heard of it, but I agree with you--how boring! I can't imagine anyone else caring about pictures of my DS; I mean, like everyone else I take a ton of them and I document them for our family, but I wouldn't expect anyone else to care. Not even his grandparents are interested for heavens sake! I wonder where the idea of a slide show at a birthday party (or wedding? Seriously?!) comes from (unless it's in an ironic, remember sitting through these in the 70's kind of way). Seems incredibly self centered. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicMom Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 All of the recent first birthdays and weddings I've been to have had a slideshow. But it wasn't something they made you sit and watch; it was running in the background on a computer screen or a projected screen during the birthday parties and being projected, usually to a song significant to the bridal couple, on the main screen as you entered the sanctuary for the weddings. It stopped when the wedding started. I never thought they were tacky or self centered in any way. If you wanted to view it you could; if not you didn't have too. Most of the funerals I've been to lately has had some sort of projected slideshow too. I thought they were nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted January 11, 2015 Author Share Posted January 11, 2015 All of the recent first birthdays and weddings I've been to have had a slideshow. But it wasn't something they made you sit and watch; it was running in the background on a computer screen or a projected screen during the birthday parties and being projected, usually to a song significant to the bridal couple, on the main screen as you entered the sanctuary for the weddings. It stopped when the wedding started. I never thought they were tacky or self centered in any way. If you wanted to view it you could; if not you didn't have too. Most of the funerals I've been to lately has had some sort of projected slideshow too. I thought they were nice. I've seen this before, at weddings and at a memorial service. I would have been up for this. But we had a "sit down and watch" slide show right after dinner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I think it can be fun to see friends when they are young. We had one for graduation but it was background and I tried to include different activities their different groups of friends remembered. Keeping it short is good too. haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicMom Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I've seen this before, at weddings and at a memorial service. I would have been up for this. But we had a "sit down and watch" slide show right after dinner. Ok, the sit down and watch thing pushes it into "weird" territory for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I'd stick photos on one of the poster board things with the three sides - unfolded, it can stand by itself, I am sure it has a name but if so it has slipped my mind - display board? - off to one side and partygoers can look at not, as they like, and be done with it. A slide show I think would stop a party cold. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcatmom Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I have seen it at graduation parties too and most often the pictures include lots of kids that graduate together so the pictures had meaning to more then just one kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 My parents made one for my surprise 16th birthday party. It was very sweet especially because they're not very sentimental! It lasted about 5 minutes. Some of my friends were teary. It was a smallish group of close friends, and they were in the photos too through the years. If they thought it weird, oh well! :) (This was many years ago. I don't even know how they made it as it was pre-digital age.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted January 11, 2015 Author Share Posted January 11, 2015 I added to the OP: the guests were all teens, friends of the birthday girls. There weren't any other family members or long-time family friends. Maybe that makes a difference in the way I perceive it. The birthday girls aren't friends from childhood, and the other mother and I are friendly acquaintances as best. Maybe it would have been more meaningful to me if we had been closer. But I have a hard time thinking teens are interested in seeing a bunch of photos of their casual friends - unless they are in some of them, maybe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I added to the OP: the guests were all teens, friends of the birthday girls. There weren't any other family members or long-time family friends. Maybe that makes a difference in the way I perceive it. The birthday girls aren't friends from childhood, and the other mother and I are friendly acquaintances as best. Maybe it would have been more meaningful to me if we had been closer. But I have a hard time thinking teens are interested in seeing a bunch of photos of their casual friends - unless they are in some of them, maybe. I'm with you, Margaret. It would have seemed odd to me, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I haven't seen anything like that; it does seem a bit weird to me. If anything, it seems like something more common for a 50th anniversary party, or Granny's 80th birthday. You know, encapsulating a long history. I would go along with it; it's not the worst idea I've ever heard of, but I wouldn't come up with that for sweet sixteen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I've seen this at like an 80th birthday party. For a 16 yo? Really? Meh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 We do one for graduating seniors at church--each kid contributes 7-8 photos from their growing up years. It's sweet. I could see a Sweet 16 birthday, but...not so much. They aren't common here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Not for birthday parties here, but for bat mitzvahs and bar mitzvahs - yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I think its sweet and as long as it didnt go on forever...I dont think boring. Since it was 16th birthday I'd give it a pass. I wouldn't do it myself though....reminds me too much of funerals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 *I* would personally hate the thing and have zero desire to ever see a slideshow of me at any age. Not that it's really an issue. I think all total there are maybe 10 pictures of me ever. So at least it would be a short slideshow! LOL If my kid really wanted one, then I'd suck it up and offer the pictures. I don't see that any time soon though. I don't like them. I think they are rather narcissist and boring. Also, I'm the worst mom ever about pictures. I don't have any on a thumb drive to put on the projector! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I think it was done because it is a milestone birthday. If it started popping up at every birthday I would probably raise an eyebrow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I think it was done because it is a milestone birthday. If it started popping up at every birthday I would probably raise an eyebrow. I don't think 16 is a milestone at all. 13? Yes. 18 or 21? Yes. 16? Nope. Not in this house anyways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Different cultures have different defining moments. When I was growing up sweet sixteen was a big deal for a lot of my friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali in OR Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Well, I don't go to birthday parties but have to say I see nothing wrong with this. My dh has done slide shows for end-of-season sports team parties and for VBS. He's an excellent photographer, picks meaningful music, and they aren't too long. They've always been very well-received with many parents asking for copies. I think even if the slide show doesn't have pictures of my family, I would enjoy watching someone else's story on their special day, particularly if the slide show is well-done. If you don't want to do it that's fine, but I don't really understand complaining if someone else finds it to be a special way to commemorate the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I've seen them at graduation parties, wedding receptions, and funerals. Maybe at a big event - 50th anniversary, 80th/90th birthday, whatever. 16th birthday is a new one to me, but *shrug*, meh, whatevs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plink Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 We did a slide show at DH's 40th, but only because it was a "random acts of kindness" party. The photos were ones that the partygoers had taken during their hour out-and-about town, because obviously we couldn't all go together and it was fun to see what the other teams chose to do (Cleaning a road, paying for someone's coffee at the drive thru, writing chalk thank you messages on the sidewalk of the firehouse) The photos were played while everyone chatted over dessert. There weren't any baby shots and it wasn't the center attraction I've only ever seen growing-up photos at funerals and one very awkward wedding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Different cultures have different defining moments. When I was growing up sweet sixteen was a big deal for a lot of my friends. I know various ages are milestones for other people. I was simply saying I don't think it is. I know in some circles either 16 or 18 is a common "debutante" age for lack of a better term. But not in my house/circles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bibiche Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 I went to a bat mitzvah recently that had a slideshow, but it was run on the wall during the (crazily extravagant) party, not something separate to be sat through. Which was good, even if she was a very cute baby. The people that knew the girl really seemed to enjoy the pictures, so that was kind of nice. :) When my friend died at a much too young age, his family asked for photos and had a slide show going during the reception after the service. They also later mailed discs to all of us. I still haven't been able to look at it, but one day I will and I will be happy to have it. So, in short, no problem with slide shows. As long as no one expects me to do one. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Well, I don't go to birthday parties but have to say I see nothing wrong with this. My dh has done slide shows for end-of-season sports team parties and for VBS. He's an excellent photographer, picks meaningful music, and they aren't too long. They've always been very well-received with many parents asking for copies. I think even if the slide show doesn't have pictures of my family, I would enjoy watching someone else's story on their special day, particularly if the slide show is well-done. If you don't want to do it that's fine, but I don't really understand complaining if someone else finds it to be a special way to commemorate the day. If I have to sit through it, I reserve the right to complain about it. Fair is fair. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2samlibby Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 I don't think 16 is a milestone at all. 13? Yes. 18 or 21? Yes. 16? Nope. Not in this house anyways. I thought 16 was more of a milestone than 13. Sweet 16 and being able to drive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 I think its sweet. I've been to parties (and even 2 funerals) where there was a slide show playing. But, in all cases it wasn't a 'let's sit down and watch a slide show' it was more of a 'hey, there is a laptop out in that corner and there is a slide show playing', or 'hey, they have a cute slide show playing on the television' sort of thing. It wasn't intrusive at all. No big deal. And, if some of the guests at a teen party have been friends for a while it might be fun to see pictures of them together over the years. I don't see the problem. It's not what I would do, but I do not judge it as tasteless or boring. It's just something someone else does. Maybe the mom is also one of those scrapbook people and has done a beautiful job collecting pictures? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 But we had a "sit down and watch" slide show right after dinner. :ack2: :ack2: :ack2: ...just shoot me now... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted January 12, 2015 Author Share Posted January 12, 2015 Yeah, I'm not really complaining about it - I mean, we didn't want to do it, but since it was a joint party we weren't going to refuse; it was important to the other family. So I guess we complained a bit inwardly. :-) But it sounds as if most people (responding here) who like them have mostly experienced them as things on the side, not a main part of the event. Or, the slideshows they have seen include at least some of the people watching it - such as a sports team which someone mentioned, or lifelong friends growing up together. This was not like that. They were just typical family photos, from birth to age 16. We tried to put some fun things in ours to make it more interesting, though I have no idea if it had that effect on the viewers. We also kept it quite short. :-) But I just don't understand the custom, which is why I asked about it. If I encounter one in the future, I will watch it politely. Or, if appropriate, wander over to the bar for a drink. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2scouts Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 I've seen them at graduation parties and other major life changing events. I've never heard of doing a slide show at a 16th birthday party and it does seem a little odd to do it then. ETA: I did do a display board with pictures when my son got Eagle Scout. It showed pictures of his Scouting experiences from age 6 to age 18. It was well received because it showed him going from a little boy to an Eagle Scout and many of the people attending were in the pictures or were part of the events pictured. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 There are worse movies shown at 16 year old birthday parties. :lol: Be glad it was just family photos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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