The boy won't put the books down -- summer time limit?

[RosieCotton]

The 8 yr old is reading the Warrior Books over the summer. He is blowing thru 1 every 2-3 days.

 

My question is, what time limit would you put on reading everyday? He will read non-fictions we have from the library too - but these Warrior books are becoming an obsession.

 

I make sure it's a balance of outside summer time, exploration in the woods and pond, and building with his siblings in their fort (last week they made a huge bridge out of pallets we had in the back of the shed, decorated it with various things, and made a Sumerian oven complete with a long paddle for the bread they were making - I smiled big when they told me :)

 

The thing is; he is hiding the books in his bed and trying to read in the dark in the morning before others are up. Stopped that one. The first thing he wants to do is read when he gets up, not even eat. (Which I don't allow of course. . .) Chores are getting behind.

 

I think If I let him he would read all day and not move off the couch or the deck chairs.

 

It will be blowing snow in a few months and probably 5 below zero, and then I won't mind as much truly. And it's great to see him really enjoying reading.

 

How would you handle and how much time would you give at this age for free reading?

 

 

[Alice]

I don't ever limit my kids free reading time as far as it's part of their free time. I make them stop reading to help around the house or to eat with us. I think it's reasonable to require/encourage a certain amount outside or physical activity but beyond that I wouldn't put a limit on reading. Why can't he read before he eats?  Or read before his sibs are awake, as long as he doesn't wake them up? 

[MiMi 4under3]

My question is, what time limit would you put on reading everyday? NONE!!!  He will read non-fictions we have from the library too - but these Warrior books are becoming an obsession. That's awesome, IMO.

 

 

The thing is; he is hiding the books in his bed and trying to read in the dark in the morning before others are up. Stopped that one. The first thing he wants to do is read when he gets up, not even eat. Again, super awesome!!

 

I think If I let him he would read all day and not move off the couch or the deck chairs. That's ok...

 

 

How would you handle and how much time would you give at this age for free reading? Impose a short break for chores, but other than that, I wouldn't give him any time limits for free reading.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

 

 

I don't limit reading time.

 

They do have to still do chores and eat meals.

[AmandaVT]

Can you suggest he read outside for part of the day? Fresh air and a good book - one of my favorite combinations. 

[My3girls]

As long as chores are done and meals are eaten, I wouldn't set any limits. I'm like that when I find a series I like. Eventually I read them all, and then I find something else to do.

[Lucy the Valiant]

Wait, my 8yo is at YOUR house?!

 

We're having the EXACT same situation here, but with Redwall. (His sister got him going - if he follows her path, Warrior books are next.)

 

My current efforts include: He can read in bed in the morning until everyone else is up; then he has to put the book down, come eat breakfast, and talk to us. (Not gaze longingly at the door where The Book is located.)

 

After breakfast we do 30 minutes of "summer school," and he has chores (they're not heavy-duty); if I catch him reading during chore time, he forfeits that book for 24 hours.

 

My kid (not speaking for all kids) *NEEDS* to go outside and wander around / throw sticks / dig / splash for a certain amount of time each day; otherwise we all pay the price (it's like a toddler and a nap, really). After he has done all those things, he is then allowed to read to his heart's content.

 

If I am talking to him, and he ignores me to read, BOOM. 24 hour forfeit.

[regentrude]

I  have never limited my kids' reading time if it is their free time. Chores, meals, and a minimum of outside exercise are required - other than that, they are free to read at all waking hours. My DD went through phases where she read all day long. (It paid off wonderfully in a stunning vocabulary and great writing abilities.) I don't see a problem. As a kid, reading was my favorite pastime; my parents never limited that in any way either.

 

ETA: I do not understand: why is he not allowed to read in the morning before the others are up???

[Alice]

Can you suggest he read outside for part of the day? Fresh air and a good book - one of my favorite combinations. 

 

I have one son who loves to read in a tree. It's like looking at myself at the same age everytime I see him do it. :) 

[Hunter]

You are not the only parent to choose to limit reading and especially light novel reading. Trust YOUR gut. Parent YOUR way.

 

Waldorf and Amish families are quick to limit reading to keep children in BALANCE.

[RosieCotton]

Thanks for all the great advice. I'll take it to heart.

 

Oh - and it's too dark in his room that he shares with his brother to actually read anything. Truly. Dark.

 

But am looking into a book light for him or I've told him he can come down and read in the LR before the others are awake. That's been working.

 

 

[zarabellesmom]

I love it! As long as the chores are done, I'd leave him to it!

[aggieamy]

I adore books as much as the next gal and was the biggest sneak reader in the world as a kid.  DH is a major reader also and was always reading as a kid.  We grounded DD off all books and audiobooks for today.  She's supposed to be getting dressed to go to mass and I catch her with a book.  She hides in the bathroom to read.  She walks around the house with headphones listening to audiobooks.  It's actually a problem.  She's kind of surly and unpleasant if she reads too long or too much.  The kid needs some human interaction!

[momacacia]

This is very similar to our house, only different light novel material. We put books down to do chores and I limit which books they get from the library by reserving and going to pick up by myself most of the time (in which case books are off the age-appropriate classics reading list). It's like food. Yeah, you can have something sugary when we go out to eat this weekend, but M-F we have broccoli, carrots, chicken and sweet potatoes. Yum! :)

 

And that's what I keep in the house. The light reading comes in and out quickly, the better books hand around and around until they're read, and will show up again if not read. We even do some force feeding (aka Daddy reads aloud at dinnertime) to whet the appetite and lots of times find the classics they turned a nose up to are being devoured that evening by book light until close of bedtime reading. I'm sneaky and mean that way. Lol.

[Arcadia]

My 9 year old can skip all meals and forgets to sleep. Then he gets hyper cranky. So sleep and meals are non- negotiable. As long as what needs to get done is getting done, he can read all he wants.

 

ETA:

Ran out of coffee and had an on-off daytime nap. Kid read from 9am to 4pm without food.

[jaderbee]

The 8 yr old is reading the Warrior Books over the summer. He is blowing thru 1 every 2-3 days.

 

My question is, what time limit would you put on reading everyday? He will read non-fictions we have from the library too - but these Warrior books are becoming an obsession.

 

I make sure it's a balance of outside summer time, exploration in the woods and pond, and building with his siblings in their fort (last week they made a huge bridge out of pallets we had in the back of the shed, decorated it with various things, and made a Sumerian oven complete with a long paddle for the bread they were making - I smiled big when they told me :)

 

The thing is; he is hiding the books in his bed and trying to read in the dark in the morning before others are up. Stopped that one. The first thing he wants to do is read when he gets up, not even eat. (Which I don't allow of course. . .) Chores are getting behind.

 

I think If I let him he would read all day and not move off the couch or the deck chairs.

 

It will be blowing snow in a few months and probably 5 below zero, and then I won't mind as much truly. And it's great to see him really enjoying reading.

 

How would you handle and how much time would you give at this age for free reading?

My mom put me on a limit one summer. It was the summer of Nancy Drew. I could not put them down! I think she made me play outside for an hour every day. Growing up, we did not have chores. Anyhow, in our home it's nothing fun until chores are done. I WISH all my kids wanted to do is read. :)

[...................]

I mean, it depends on your life and your parenting philosophy.  Considering that you seem to live in a very cold climate, I would personally limit INDOORS time, in general, not just reading time.  I would make sure they get outside as much as possible, take them to the county pool, etc. etc.  Save the Warrior books for the winter...just don't visit the library for July and August.  Easily solved.  Just nonchalantly say, "It's summer- time for fresh air and exercise and sunshine....I don't feel like going to the library.  When the fall comes, we will go get lots more books."

 

[MEmama]

My son is similar. He goes through long spells (like this entire summer so far) when he'd be perfectly content to sit on the couch or the deck and read all.day.long. He completed the library's 30 hour goal in a week. It's great in a way, but I totally understand that it can get in the way of real life sometimes too. He's another one that needs some movement and outside-his-brain-time to be balanced and sane.

 

I do try to make sure he's out of bed at a reasonable time, although sometimes that means 10am. He often reads for a few hours before getting up. I try to keep him busy for the bulk of the mid day, to varying success. We live in a cold climate too so I understand what you mean about getting outside time in the precious few warm months. But I don't actively limit what or how much he reads, I just try to make sure he's aware of his--and our--other needs.

[Lizzie in Ma]

My Mom used to boot us out of the house after breakfast for the day when we were kids.  I'd take a basket of books, my cat and some apples and head to my favorite tree and read all day.  Then I'd read under my covers at night.   If I was out of books, I'd ride my bike to the library for more.  Something my kids can't do where we live, which makes me sad.

 

We've never limited free reading except at the dinner table.  I have been known to stick a plate of food for breakfast or lunch under the noses of my kids when they've been caught up in a book or series.  Chores still get done between chapters.

There have been times they were on the swings for hours with a book in their hands.

[Ellie]

I cannot imagine putting a limit on how much time a child reads. :blink:

[Walking-Iris]

The 8 yr old is reading the Warrior Books over the summer. He is blowing thru 1 every 2-3 days.

 

My question is, what time limit would you put on reading everyday? He will read non-fictions we have from the library too - but these Warrior books are becoming an obsession.

 

I make sure it's a balance of outside summer time, exploration in the woods and pond, and building with his siblings in their fort (last week they made a huge bridge out of pallets we had in the back of the shed, decorated it with various things, and made a Sumerian oven complete with a long paddle for the bread they were making - I smiled big when they told me :)

 

The thing is; he is hiding the books in his bed and trying to read in the dark in the morning before others are up. Stopped that one. The first thing he wants to do is read when he gets up, not even eat. (Which I don't allow of course. . .) Chores are getting behind.

 

I think If I let him he would read all day and not move off the couch or the deck chairs.

 

It will be blowing snow in a few months and probably 5 below zero, and then I won't mind as much truly. And it's great to see him really enjoying reading.

 

How would you handle and how much time would you give at this age for free reading?

 

Um....who cares? Let him bring the books to the table. Read one aloud while you eat. Ask him to mark his spot whenever you need him to help around the house. Could be he is just really into the story and wants to finish them. Haven't you ever read a book that was hard to put down?

[Reefgazer]

The 8 yr old is reading the Warrior Books over the summer. He is blowing thru 1 every 2-3 days.

 

My question is, what time limit would you put on reading everyday? I wouldn't limit the time he reads.  He will read non-fictions we have from the library too - but these Warrior books are becoming an obsession.

 

I make sure it's a balance of outside summer time, exploration in the woods and pond, and building with his siblings in their fort (last week they made a huge bridge out of pallets we had in the back of the shed, decorated it with various things, and made a Sumerian oven complete with a long paddle for the bread they were making - I smiled big when they told me :)

 

The thing is; he is hiding the books in his bed and trying to read in the dark in the morning before others are up. Stopped that one. Why?  The first thing he wants to do is read when he gets up, not even eat. (Which I don't allow of course. . .) Chores are getting behind.  Make him do the chores first thing after breakfast.

 

I think If I let him he would read all day and not move off the couch or the deck chairs.

 

It will be blowing snow in a few months and probably 5 below zero, and then I won't mind as much truly. And it's great to see him really enjoying reading.

 

How would you handle and how much time would you give at this age for free reading?  With the exception of making him complete his chores first, I wouldn't do anything about it. 

 

[Heatherwith4]

I wish I had this problem. (Sorry, I know that's not helpful...)

[Eagle]

Let him read and get him a flashlight or book light for morning/evening reading. As a child I almost set fire to our house while trying to read under the covers at night. Other than that incident I don't regret any of the hours I spent with books as a child. I still remember lots of fun with friends, outdoor adventures, etc. But those summer days of endless reading felt like freedom and true down-time in a way that nothing else did.

[melmichigan]

I hate to use the words, "put down the book".  They make me cringe and I avoid them at all costs.  My kids are on a reading craze right now as part of the summer library reading program.  My limits are simple, no books at the dinner table because that is family meal time.  Chores need to be done each day, anytime before dinner.  Right now they go to day camp M-Th from 9-3 so I don't have to argue about outside time.  After camp finishes I just make sure we take some outside time as a family each day.  

[RosieCotton]

Thanks for your input everyone.

It's pretty stupid that we worry about getting them to read, and then want to pull the reigns back and say - hey not so much reading!! LOL

 

But I believe in what Hunter said too - that there should be a balance in his day.

 

I'll let him have at it as long as chores are getting done and he is getting enough exercise outside and not cranky.

 

 

 

[Maela]

We have the same "problem" here with DD (7 on Thursday!). She is loving the Goddess Girl series this summer and will sit in her bed reading all day if I let her. I can be the same way, but I force myself to do the housework and get us outside. We both like being outside, so we do a lot of outside reading.

 

DD is a bit behind in her gross motor development. Her coordination isn't that great. So we do put limits on reading and indoor activities in general. I also notice that her mood is not good after reading for hours at a time with no interaction with us. She's much more pleasant to be around when she has at least a couple hours of physical activity each day. She also has to complete chores - keeping her room clean, emptying the dishwasher, and cleaning the kitchen floor.

[SKL]

I would probably require chores etc. to come first.  Or I would put them in one or more physical activities that don't involve reading.  (Or both. :) )  I have been known to tell my bookworm that she may not read until she first finished a list of things, including an hour of outside play.  (Normally, this is not an issue for us since they are in camps most summer days.)

[Zebra]

I get where you are coming from, we went through this exact thing a couple of years ago with the Warrior Cats.

 

But honestly I think you need a little perspective here, without any snark honestly, you are worried your son is READING TOO MUCH.   He's not doing crystal meth, or punching his siblings, or feeding his veggies to the dog.   Again, there should be balance in life and I think you should make him do certain things before he reads (chores, play outside for an hour, whatever you think is best!) but then I would let him have at it.   Read his little brains out.   He is enjoying this series so much, and I guess I really understand enjoying a book series and not wanting to put it down....  :lol:!   Maybe summer is the time to charge his introvert battery up, I know it is for me.

 

I am not trying to diss anyone who decides to limit the reading their child does, or if you decide to limit his reading.  YMMV!  Do what you think is best, but I think you should just let him as long as he is doing other things you require of him  :grouphug:!

[Hunter]

Balance is critical: mind, body and soul. The mind cannot survive suspended upon a weak and soulless body. Anyone who works with seriously out of balance students knows how critical it is to help/insist the student find balance.

 

We are also crossing over into PARENTING choices here, and there is no one right way to parent all children in all environments.

[RootAnn]

I get this. Rosie - I think you are doing the right thing. Set your limits (Katie's are extreme, IMO, but she probably found out the hard way that she needs to be harsh in order to get attention & things done. I'd start gentler but be firm -- and stick to your guns). When my dd#1 was like that (who am I kidding - she still is whenever she has a good book/series going), we required some outside time, chores, and her attention when we talk to her.

 

Sit down & talk to him - tell him you like that he's reading - and set out the non-negotiables. Put it in writing. Refer to it often. Post them on his bathroom mirror or bedroom door or above his bed (or all three).

 

We all love to read at our house. But we all need to eat, work, and get outside for some exercise - especially in the cool early morning hours before it gets hot here.

(People give me the "What's the problem?" look when I wonder what I'm going to do with a kid who is studying Latin & Spanish and wants to add French. We don't have TIME for French right now unless she either gives up reading, sleeping, eating, or writing. She'll volunteer to give up writing in a flash - but that's her weak area so we need time for that. For those of you freaking out, don't worry; I told her we'll add French in a couple of years. She has plenty of years left.)

[Haiku]

My kids can read as much as they like as long as their other responsibilities are attended to. One of my kids hated (and still hates) to read and shows little intellectual curiosity. I count my blessings that my other two love books and are always seeking new info and stories to ponder.

 

My dd12 is addicted to Warriors, too, and has been for more than two years. She says that you should be glad he likes to read so much. Her advice to you is to set aside a certain time of day during which he has to complete his chores and responsibilities and then give him the rest of the day to read. She recommends morning because in the middle of the day he will be annoyed to be interrupted and in the evening he will be tired.  :)

 

Btw, I don't like to eat right when I wake up. I need 1-2 hours to feel hungry. Perhaps your son is the same way.

 

Ps. My dad used to nag me to "put down that book and go outside to play!" I would take my book outside, climb a tree, and read.

[Lucy the Valiant]

I get this. Rosie - I think you are doing the right thing. Set your limits (Katie's are extreme, IMO, but she probably found out the hard way that she needs to be harsh in order to get attention & things done. I'd start gentler but be firm -- and stick to your guns). When my dd#1 was like that (who am I kidding - she still is whenever she has a good book/series going), we required some outside time, chores, and her attention when we talk to her.

 

<snip>

 

Chuckling - yes, I did learn the hard way. :) And I did start out gentler, and - FWIW, I say it very gently (if I have to confiscate the book). He knows. He's in the middle of about 6 different books, too, so it probably isn't as harsh as it sounds. This dear little guy is in Empathy Boot Camp, learning to notice that - hey, there are other people living in this house! :) There is absolutely zero risk of him ever not loving to read.

 

I, too, fondly remember the days of my own childhood, finishing my last library book, and immediately hopping on my bike to go get more! Cheers to summer reading!

[Alicia64]

The 8 yr old is reading the Warrior Books over the summer. He is blowing thru 1 every 2-3 days.

 

My question is, what time limit would you put on reading everyday? He will read non-fictions we have from the library too - but these Warrior books are becoming an obsession.

 

I make sure it's a balance of outside summer time, exploration in the woods and pond, and building with his siblings in their fort (last week they made a huge bridge out of pallets we had in the back of the shed, decorated it with various things, and made a Sumerian oven complete with a long paddle for the bread they were making - I smiled big when they told me :)

 

The thing is; he is hiding the books in his bed and trying to read in the dark in the morning before others are up. Stopped that one. The first thing he wants to do is read when he gets up, not even eat. (Which I don't allow of course. . .) Chores are getting behind.

 

I think If I let him he would read all day and not move off the couch or the deck chairs.

 

It will be blowing snow in a few months and probably 5 below zero, and then I won't mind as much truly. And it's great to see him really enjoying reading.

 

How would you handle and how much time would you give at this age for free reading?

 

I would make a special trip to church and thank God.

 

 

 

[Chris in VA]

I would make a special trip to church and thank God.

 

 

 

:lol:

 

OP, I'd try to use his love of the books to spark conversation at the dinner table and during chores. It'll give him some social interaction, he'll be happy to share and feel affirmed that you show interest in his interests, and give him another layer of processing the content.

 

But yes, I think the limits you plan on imposing are reasonable and supportive.

 

[Walking-Iris]

Balance is critical: mind, body and soul. The mind cannot survive suspended upon a weak and soulless body. Anyone who works with seriously out of balance students knows how critical it is to help/insist the student find balance.

 

We are also crossing over into PARENTING choices here, and there is no one right way to parent all children in all environments.

 

Are we seriously equating enjoying a book series with "weak and soulless bodies?" Most kids will keep up doing the thing they love if we let them.---my 7 year old would stay outside all day long if I didn't say "hey come in for a bit and get some lunch, help pick up your room, it's going to rain...come in now." Whether they are building with Legos all day, reading, drawing, painting, playing a game, riding their bike....eventually a parent will have to say "can you pause, turn off, come in, take a break because now we need to xyz." I don't think there's a parent alive who hasn't had to do that with something. But I would rather keep a healthy perspective about it. 

 

I think there's a way to honor their interests and yet still get them fed and doing some chores without making it punitive, or turning it into something pathological. 

[Alice]

Balance is critical: mind, body and soul. The mind cannot survive suspended upon a weak and soulless body. Anyone who works with seriously out of balance students knows how critical it is to help/insist the student find balance.

 

We are also crossing over into PARENTING choices here, and there is no one right way to parent all children in all environments.

 

"Weak and soulless body"? Seriously? I'm all for balance but I also look at balance over seasons. It's fairly normal for kids to get really into a particular book series or other activity. Sure, as a parent we need to pull them back if it's becoming too much but I think it's also ok to let them have a season of immersion into whatever it is. Maybe this is the summer of the Warriors. 

 

Sure, there is no right way to parent all children. But the OP ASKED what other people would do. Clearly a lot of people wouldn't limit reading. I didn't see people jumping on her and saying she was terrible for considering, just people answering her question. "What would you do?" "I wouldn't limit it." She can take the advice or not, but the nature of her post was to ask for advice on a parenting choice. Advice given. 

[Alicia64]

 

 

Sure, there is no right way to parent all children. But the OP ASKED what other people would do. Clearly a lot of people wouldn't limit reading. I didn't see people jumping on her and saying she was terrible for considering, just people answering her question. "What would you do?" "I wouldn't limit it." She can take the advice or not, but the nature of her post was to ask for advice on a parenting choice. Advice given. 

 

I hope the OP knew I was just goofing around when I wrote "I'd go to church and thank God." What I really get annoyed by is when my boys read the read-aloud I'd planned on reading to them! (When my husband hears me grumbling about this he always remarks, "First world problem.")

 

Anyway, OP -- I didn't mean to be offensive. I understand wanting a balance for our kids vs. just reading all day long.

 

Alley

[Sandragood1]

I have observed in myself and others a tendency to "hide" from the real world inside of books. If you think that this is going on - then you need to talk about it and about balance.

 

Those who think that all reading is good are oversimplifying. Too much of a good thing IS too much of a good thing. Trust your mommy instinct here.

 

That said, the Warriors books seem to be really, really attractive to Tweens. My dd read them like they were candy. I did not limit per se but required that other books be read and that some balance between reading and other activities. The balance didn't need to be daily but rather over a few days.

[Korrale]

I never limit my son's reading time. But he does have some daily requirements to be met.

He needs adequate sleep.

He needs to eat his meals and snacks.

He needs to take care of person hygiene.

He needs to be active, outside time preferable.

And he needs to do his chores around the house.

Then he is free to do whatever he wants. Even if it means reading for 5 hours. Oh I do require him to take breaks to relieve his eyes.

[Walking-Iris]

I never limit my son's reading time. But he does have some daily requirements to be met.

He needs adequate sleep.

He needs to eat his meals and snacks.

He needs to take care of person hygiene.

He needs to be active, outside time preferable.

And he needs to do his chores around the house.

Then he is free to do whatever he wants. Even if it means reading for 5 hours. Oh I do require him to take breaks to relieve his eyes.

Exactly. That's just normal parenting. But if a child already feels like he needs to hide a book in his bed in the mornings, the parent has the problem,not the child. Just my personal opinion. 

 

Why teach a child that reading is bad on some level? 

 

There's a world of difference between "hey let's get ready to go to the park, eat lunch, clean up the backyard..." and "you can only read a book for x amount of time each day!!!!" One is just normal training a child to think about other things, and the other is just punitiv eand overly restrictive.