wendyroo Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Now that summer is upon us, it has become a nightmare to drive in zoo, park, ymca, grocery store, etc. parking lots around here. Most of the parents seem to hold the drivers completely responsible for keeping other people's kids safe and have completely abdicated their own responsibility to keep their own kids safe. I'm not talking about a toddler pulling away from his mother's hand as she fumbles with her keys. That is the reason that we all need to exercise extreme caution while driving in parking lots. I am talking about parents chatting while their 6 and 8 and 10 year olds play tag back and forth across the parking lot. I am talking about leaving young toddlers completely unattended in the driving lane of the parking lot while the parent spends long minutes rummaging in the front seat of the car. I am talking about 2 or 3 moms bringing a largish group of kids to the zoo and meandering their way across the parking lot while various kids dart between parked cars, stop to rummage in backpacks, lag far behind the group, etc. I understand that the kids are excited. I understand that they don't want to wait patiently. I just don't think that is any sort of excuse. If you are not ready to supervise them, then don't let them out of the car. If you don't have enough hands then maybe the toddler needs to be in a stroller or leash backpack to cross the parking lot. If older kids can't follow parking lot rules then they have to hold your hand or stay home with a babysitter. Parking lot safety, imo, has to be a join venture. If I am super cautious as I back out of a parking space, and you keep your kids close and don't let them monkey around, then we can virtually eliminate the risk of accidents. While any child getting hit in a parking lot is a tragedy, it seems a double tragedy if the driver was being as careful as humanly possible and still has to carry around that guilt for the rest of her life. That seems like two innocent victims let down by parental negligence. Wendy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Call it rude... but I think in those situations (unsupervised older children playing in the parking lot) a well-deserved "toot" on the horn should do the trick. Yes, the moms may cut you the evil eye... but who cares? :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Heh. I almost hit a kid the other day when he ran out from between parked cars. I slammed on my brakes and just missed him ... didn't even blow the horn ... and then his mother came out and stood in front of my car, screaming at me and giving me the finger. FTR, I was going under 10mph. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Anne Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Parking lot safety, imo, has to be a join venture. I am in a reporting mood today. Tell the Zoo. They will take note. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OH_Homeschooler Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Thank you for acknowledging that toddlers getting away from their parent is to be expected. Mine has done this twice in the last month and it scared the @!%& out of me. After the second time it happened, I started locking her up in the stroller before her feet even touch the ground. The others stay locked in the car with me until I am ready to exit as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 I agree, this has been really scary with kids being allowed to wander far from the parents. Happened to us yesterday. DD is about to start driving, and I told her that parking lots are the most dangerous areas EVER. Both for kids and other drivers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 I'm with you 100%! That said, we recently went to the Bronx Zoo and I was seriously ticked off by how many zoo vehicles drive along the same "roads" visitors are to walk along. I've never been in any other family amusement location that required so much traffic vigilance. :cursing: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Parking lots are really scary around here this time of year especially. People cut across lane, through other parked cars, it is crazy! We always try to park way away from the main entrance of anything and we've still seen some insanity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Sheesh. Why do people do that? It makes me crazy. :cursing: There are some things that I'm very fussy about (well, ok, y'all know that I'm fussy about lots of things, lol, but I haven't told y'all about my children-fussy things). I am *majorly* fussy about the children staying *with me* when we are in parking lots, or even when it comes to vehicles in general. My children did not run out from the house and get into the car. We went out together. They did not ever, NOT EVER get out of the car without me. They were absolutely never, ever allowed to run off when they got out of the car, and since I opened the doors for them, this was pretty easy to control. They held my hands when we were walking in a parking lot or crossing a street. I didn't use harnesses, but if I had a toddler who had trouble understanding that he must always, always stay with me, I'd have harnessed him *and* required him to hold my hand (because he needs to learn to stay with me, harness or not; the harness would be just a back-up). If I were going to chat with friends in a parking lot, I'd put the children in the car first, or I'd make them sit at my feet, or I'd suggest that we move the conversation to a location that is child-safe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrissySC Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Yes, I love to see kids under the age of six walking themselves to the car. :svengo: I think it is a great lesson for me! Let's see how well I can brake and if I can still breath after. People in general are not doing well with anticipating consequences to their behavior. It is just a fact. But yes, agree, It irks me too. Maybe I am just a control freak, but my kids hold my hand until they can write cursive, and even then they are not allowed to be far from me. That has been our marking point with all three girls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 This is one of my biggest pet peeves, too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerileanne99 Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Oh yeah, parking lots are by far the most dangerous thing we routinely encounter. I seriously have nightmares about them. I have an extremely high-energy, tendency to lose focus in surroundings dd4. Because I am in a wheelchair my biggest fear is that she will dart and I won't be able to catch her. So we have a truly over-cautious procedure every time we get out of the car beginning with 'okay, this is a parking lot, what do we do?' This week we were in Yellowstone and I was shocked at how many people never even noticed their kids dangerously playing in parking lots and in roadways as the parents were so focused on taking pictures. Hubby was drivin through a parking lot there and had two 8/9 year old boys tossing a football suddenly run in front of the car! One froze, the other tripped...literally a foot from where hubby had slammed on the brakes. My dd was in her car seat and I actually so glad she saw it. She has mentioned it several times in the past 2 days and we have had multiple conversations. Very frightening! By the way, the two boys just got up and ran off as though it didn't phase them:( One of the dads, Gil I think? in this forum posted about just how quickly one o his boys was run over by oversized wheels in a parking lot seeking a dollar bill...and he WAS right there. I have thought about that so many times when we see kids (or others!) not even aware of the danger. As for toddlers pulling away, mine was like that and I finally never let her out of the car until she could climb into my lap...and she still got away more than a few times. But MOST drivers expect that can happen with toddlers and are duly careful. It is the older ones that you expect to know better that get me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 That's one reason I usually park pretty far away from stores, etc... so I don't have to dodge kids and people. DS10 has always been very good about staying right by my side, but it's much easier with just one child. I was always able to keep my hand around his wrist in parking lots. :o Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandylubug Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 My 10 year old DS loses his brain in parking lots. I swear his goal is to die. He is usually safe and not impulsive but parking lots are beyond him currently. I've threatened to make him hold my hand lately. He was better younger and my younger girls do better than him. He's very spacey or daydreamy at this age...I don't get it. I get irritated with the people who walk down the center of the lane, as slow as possible, look at you and continue their slow slug pace with no sense of consideration for the car behind them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Upward Journey Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 We've always had a very strict hand holding, hand on the car, hand on the cart, policy in parking lots. My stb 10yo is only just now allowed to walk freely next to me, but usually he chooses to hold my hand anyway :) Sometimes the olders (13, 15, 17) will still hold hands. I guess I REALLY ingrained it in them.... When they were all little we had buddies and the non-compliant child (children on a bad day) was assigned to mom ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 I never did buy these, but can see them being handy: Parking Pal Magnets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 I never did buy these, but can see them being handy: Parking Pal Magnets. Those are awesome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarfoot Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 I was almost hit by a speeding truck cutting through the grocery store lot last week. I was walking back to my car after returning my cart. It was so close it felt like my heart stopped. A toddler in our area was killed a couple of weeks ago by a vehicle in the ball park lot. They all knew each other, and it was a tragic accident. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 I'm exactly the opposite. I do not trust drivers to be paying any attention at all. I don't let me almost 9 year old more than a few feet away from me and often still hold both my kids hands in parking lots. I definitely want them within arms reach so I can pull them back if I see some idiot driving crazy. I was pulling out of a spot a week or so ago, was out a few feet and saw a mom and two little kids coming toward my car. Kids were about 6 and 4, mom was walking about 10 feet ahead of them and not even looking back. I stopped even though I could have pulled out and the 4 year old ended up bending down and tying his shoe while right behind my car. If I hadn't already been looking, I would never have seen him there and could easily have pulled out and hit him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 I'm with you 100%! That said, we recently went to the Bronx Zoo and I was seriously ticked off by how many zoo vehicles drive along the same "roads" visitors are to walk along. I've never been in any other family amusement location that required so much traffic vigilance. :cursing: We went last month and felt the same way! We actually pissed off one of the tram drivers because he claimed he had to stop for us twice because my son wasn't staying far enough over to the side of the road when they passed (he was up against the fence so.....). That and the golf carts that make no noise whatsoever and they evidently don't like to use the horn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 My 10 year old DS loses his brain in parking lots. I swear his goal is to die. He is usually safe and not impulsive but parking lots are beyond him currently. I've threatened to make him hold my hand lately. He was better younger and my younger girls do better than him. He's very spacey or daydreamy at this age...I don't get it. I get irritated with the people who walk down the center of the lane, as slow as possible, look at you and continue their slow slug pace with no sense of consideration for the car behind them. My 10 yo DD is getting worse too! This is another reason why I wouldn't leave her in the car alone. She couldn't get to the store safely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheReader Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 We definitely train our boys in parking lot safety, training them to consider it a road. It's necessary, as the drivers around here are terrible --- just last week, we had a guy *reverse towards us* so he could get a spot he had missed. We were walking to the side of the lane, not down the center, all 5 of us, and DH & youngest DS still had to sidestep, quickly, to get out of the way of this guy. He never seemed to see us, until I was even with his window and did say something to him. He did not apologize or anything, and just continued backing up towards the spot, seemingly not caring that he'd nearly run over some of us. For safety I always did have the boys touch the car if they were out before I was done (for ex, when I had 2 in car seats at a time, and would get one out, have him stand, hand on the car, right next to me, while I got the other one out). Then I always have them hold my hand, or if hands are full with a baby, hold onto my elbow. And always we discuss how this part is really a road, where cars drive. I think the terminology helps them adjust their thinking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrissySC Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 The stories kill me ... I think that I don't mind my control-freaking attitude. My kids will just have to deal with it. Although my 13 yo would probably prefer to walk 50 feet from me, LOL. She doesn't get the chance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Hear, hear! We drive small cars, and in a parking lot, I've had DS walk up to a couple of parked SUVs to show him that he is shorter than their hoods, so he should not expect drivers to see him. He was surprised. We did the magnet thing when he was younger--and yes, the harness when he was a toddler. He needed it. I also have a designated spot for him to stand in the kitchen when I open a hot oven. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 I was pulling out of a spot a week or so ago, was out a few feet and saw a mom and two little kids coming toward my car. Kids were about 6 and 4, mom was walking about 10 feet ahead of them and not even looking back. I stopped even though I could have pulled out and the 4 year old ended up bending down and tying his shoe while right behind my car. If I hadn't already been looking, I would never have seen him there and could easily have pulled out and hit him. Oh, children lagging behind their parents is another of my pet peeves (yes, it really is a pet peeve :D ). It only takes a nanosecond for something unthinkable to happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Two neighbor boys make me crazy. They are both under 5 and like to race down their straight driveway to the street then just stop before going into the street. They sit there right where the curve of the driveway goes into the street, then, once your car passes they race out into the street. And not.a.parent.in.sight.an.y.where. Completely irresponsible. I'm about ready to start honking just to be sure they stay in their driveway as they pass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Dang, well the last unfortunate incident I witnessed in a parking lot involved a truck backing up into a woman's shopping cart in the grocery parking lot. He didn't see her because she was traveling too close to the backs of the vehicles to be clearly visible. She apparently didn't notice the truck was occupied, had back-up lights on, and had started to move. \ Anyway, he hit the cart, the cart hit her, she tumbled backward and hit her head on the asphalt. Ambulances were summoned. I gave my KIDS a big lecture on Parking Lot Awareness, but they didn't really need one as they had witnessed the whole thing. Just venting about adults in parking lots! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 We went last month and felt the same way! We actually pissed off one of the tram drivers because he claimed he had to stop for us twice because my son wasn't staying far enough over to the side of the road when they passed (he was up against the fence so.....). That and the golf carts that make no noise whatsoever and they evidently don't like to use the horn. I'm glad it wasn't just me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MysteryJen Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 We've always had a very strict hand holding, hand on the car, hand on the cart, policy in parking lots. My stb 10yo is only just now allowed to walk freely next to me, but usually he chooses to hold my hand anyway :) Sometimes the olders (13, 15, 17) will still hold hands. I guess I REALLY ingrained it in them.... When they were all little we had buddies and the non-compliant child (children on a bad day) was assigned to mom ;) That is exactly what I did. My kids (even now) grab the cart in the parking lot. My 12 yo is still very short and sticks right next to me in parking lots. There is no way a driver of a truck or SUV could see her. I almost stopped a woman walking in a parking lot with a preschooler and toddler, holding neither child's hand and talking on her phone. I was furious at her stupidity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
candicane Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 I recall one time my mom was backing out and this little girl at the car across the lane from us was dancing all around the sides of the car while her parents were loading the car. Thankfully, the dad told her to get in the car and he directed us in backing up so we wouldn't hit any of them. I've been that child that wanted to run into the road (It was for ice cream truck) but my dad quickly screamed at me so loud it made me cry, but he later told me why it wasn't a good idea. I learned. But, people aren't careful when it's adults either. My mom and I were walking up to a store and this car starts backing up right as we're behind it. Nearly hits my mom, well it would have if I hadn't pushed her out of the way in time. I pounded my fist so hard on that ladies car, she didn't care though. People just do not care! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 I'm a control freak too. I don't assume my kids are paying attention. I'm pretty sure that most of the time they are not. And I don't think they realize that they can't be seen by a driver. I once had a friend who kinda made fun of me for how hawkish I was with my young kids. We were once walking along some trail. My 2 year old kept going very close to the edge. It was steep. Not the sort of drop that would kill him, but enough to make him pretty miserable and filled with all kinds of prickly bushes. So I kept repeating don't walk so close to the edge. Don't walk so close to the edge. She then said, he isn't going to fall over, he'll be fine. A few minutes later he was about to fall and she caught him by the shirt just in time. I know how my kids are. They don't pay attention. Two year olds do not get it. Luckily he was fine, but I was mad. ??? I'm not sure who you were mad at but I hope it wasn't the 2 year old. You should have been holding his hand. A 2 year old on a hike that doesn't listen either shouldn't be on the hike or should be held onto by an adult. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 I haven't noticed anything terrible in parking lots lately, but the kids in our neighborhood drive me nuts by playing in the street. I guess it's not that they play in the street, because I'm glad they're out there, but they don't move to the side when they see cars or anything. Just stand there. The other day there were three girls LYING in the street at dusk. Scared me to death! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrissySC Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 ??? I'm not sure who you were mad at but I hope it wasn't the 2 year old. You should have been holding his hand. A 2 year old on a hike that doesn't listen either shouldn't be on the hike or should be held onto by an adult. I think you missed the point. The second adult was in charge of the child and mom kept speaking up and watching out to prove her point that the aforementioned adult was oblivious to the consequences. ; ) The Point = I want a magic pill too! I will need one to recover from the grocery parking lot shortly, LOL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 I've been wondering lately if parents no longer teach their kids to MOVE OUT OF THE ROAD when a car comes. I live in a neighborhood with narrow, winding roads. The kids have basketball hoops set up, lacrosse nets, ride bikes, scooters, whatever. Which is great. I don't mind kids playing in the road in a quiet neighborhood like ours. But when a car comes, they should move out of the way. Not stand there looking stupid until the car has to stop and wait for them to move. I sent a note to our neighborhood email list at the beginning of last summer. Someone had sent a note reminding everyone to drive carefully, schools out, etc. I added that people should remind their kids to watch for cars and move if they saw one coming. We had a lot of new drivers in the neighborhood at the time and there are a lot of blind spots in the roads. Everyone jumped on me but one of my daughters friends actually came to a full stop and had a kid on a bike ride right into her car instead of getting out of the way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrissySC Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Now that you all mention it ... You are right. It must be contagious. :-/ I have noticed that a lot in the neighborhoods. They don't use the walking trails or sidewalks. Odd. And no, the kids ride down the middle of the road and walk on the right side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 I think you missed the point. The second adult was in charge of the child and mom kept speaking up and watching out to prove her point that the aforementioned adult was oblivious to the consequences. ; ) The Point = I want a magic pill too! I will need one to recover from the grocery parking lot shortly, LOL. I didn't miss the point. I think a mom is responsible for her own 2 year old. The 2 year old wasn't listening to repeated verbal instructions. The mom should have had physical control of the child once she realized she didn't have verbal control. It is a safety issue. The child was on the edge of an incline and almost fell. If Wendy gave responsibility to her friend for Wendy's child and the friend wasn't respecting Wendy's wishes, it is still Wendy's responsibility to keep her own child safe. Although, in her post, she didn't say the friend was in charge of her child. If I had my dog on a hike and he didn't respond to my verbal command, back on the leash he goes. If my CHILD didn't, the hike might very well end at that moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Yes you truly missed the point. My point was I'm very cautious to the point I have people telling me to chill out, but I know my kids and did not feel like I was overdoing it. I didn't give responsibility to anyone. Apparently me constantly being on him was I dunno...annoying her, but the situation basically validated my concern. Seriously you are reading way too deeply into this. Again, why don't you just leave me alone? You are taking some dumb thing I say and turning it into an issue that it is not. I was responding to Chrissy telling me I missed the point. I wasn't aware I wasn't allowed to respond to posts on a message board. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrissySC Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 <giggles> I am being fought over. It's all good. :) If you were just being "icky" that's OK too. Back to the topic though ... It still is phenomena that the OP is absolutely correct about though, and I hold to the original lack of consequence of action consideration. Safety is something we practice and not something we should expect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luanne Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 I was driving out of Wal-Mart's parking lot the other day after dropping my daughter off so she could work. I had a boy about 10 years old come walking out between cars looking at the ground. I had to brake to avoid hitting him. He was alone and carrying an empty water jug. I did honk my horn at him and it was obvious he was totally oblivious to the fact that cars drive through parking lots. I have no idea where his parents were. Someone else might have hit him because people don't tend to pay attention when they are driving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrissySC Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Maybe you need to homeschool to learn the general rules of life? :huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wendyroo Posted June 17, 2014 Author Share Posted June 17, 2014 Maybe you need to homeschool to learn the general rules of life? :huh: It certainly give a kid more opportunity to learn the general rules of life when they are not spending a big chunk of their time operating under the artificial rules of a school. Wendy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MusicMama Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 Yeah, I'm the crazy lady in the parking yelling, "touch the car, everyone! TOUCH THE CAR, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?" Everyone has to have a hand on the van while we are loading/unloading. We don't get out much. It's not good for my blood pressure. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 My kids and I have seen child get hit by a car in a parking lot. Let me tell you, it made a huge impact on them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nd293 Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 A little girl was killed in her driveway one road over from our house last week. Her mother was driving. It got me thinking about how often you hear parents talking about the dangers of abductions etc and how seldom you hear about the dangers of reversing your car. It really should be something we talk about more often. I can think of three driveway deaths in our city in the past 5 years, all parents driving. It's unimaginable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 A little girl was killed in her driveway one road over from our house last week. Her mother was driving. It got me thinking about how often you hear parents talking about the dangers of abductions etc and how seldom you hear about the dangers of reversing your car. It really should be something we talk about more often. I can think of three driveway deaths in our city in the past 5 years, all parents driving. It's unimaginable. I backed over my daughter's bike about ten years ago. Thankfully she wasnt on it. We had a driveway that was both downhill to the garage (so we had to back out uphill) and curved. After the bike incident, I walked all the way around the car and lined everyone up inside the garage where I could see them before trying to get out of the driveway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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