At what point do you stop returning mail?

[Farrar]

We've owned and lived in our home for well over a decade now.  We STILL receive mail - important looking mail sometimes - for former residents of the house.  We've spent YEARS now putting return to sender and sending it back, but it keeps coming.  Things like medical bills and court summons and so forth even.  A couple of years ago, a physical person came to the door from one place - I think it was some sort of government benefits thing? - looking for the woman on one of the things and she yelled at us for not having done a return to sender for something.

 

At what point is it okay to just throw this stuff away instead of sending it back with return to sender each and every time?  Dh says that clearly once the decade was up, we had zero obligation to any of these idiots (the idiots being all three parties - the postal service, the former occupants, and the organizations still sending them mail here).  I sort of agree, but then sometimes it looks important and I think about the yelling woman.

 

And do other people have this issue?  Like, does everyone just get mail (and I mean, mail, not just catalogs and junk mail) addressed to the former inhabitants of your home for many years after?

[AK_Mom4]

We did one year of Returns, then we started just throwing everything in the trash.

[trinchick]

The former inhabitants of our home were deadbeats who didn't pay their bills. We've been in the house for 10 years now and still get dunning notices and calls from collection agencies on a monthly basis. I don't make any effort to forward them. As a naturally curious person (AKA nosy), I open some of them only to be shocked to find that they owe $25,000 to some credit cards (note more than one) and haven't paid their student loans for their daughter (at Tufts no less).

 

Most recently, I got a bill addressed to the former resident. It was from a new creditor, so I opened it to find that the deadbeat is still using our address to gain credit and order things (as recently as April). I called the creditor to let them know and I ended up having to jump through hoops to prove I wasn't the person who borrowed the money. It was ridiculous.

[OneStepAtATime]

We still get mail for other people.  We have lived here about 8 years.  If it looks like something REALLY important or a personal letter I still try to do a return to sender or if it is one of the previous owners that I know the location for I contact them.  But I don't feel obligated.  I just do it because I want to.  When I don't really have time the stuff sometimes sits on my desk for weeks or months, but I do eventually send it back out.  Honestly, though, I have been wondering this same thing.  Personally,  I say that no you are not under any obligation.  If you have the time and the desire and it looks really important, then do a return to sender.  Otherwise, no I don't think you should be obligated after 10 years....

[amyco]

I think writing "not at this address" might be more helpful because it gives a little more explanation.  The piece will still be returned to the sender.  Also you could leave a sticky note in your box saying "so and so is not at this address" or "Smith family only" or something.  I would never open anyone else's mail regardless of how long it's been. 

[Belacqua]

We still get mail for other people.  We have lived here about 8 years.  If it looks like something REALLY important or a personal letter I still try to do a return to sender or if it is one of the previous owners that I know the location for I contact them.  But I don't feel obligated.  I just do it because I want to.  When I don't really have time the stuff sometimes sits on my desk for weeks or months, but I do eventually send it back out.  Honestly, though, I have been wondering this same thing.  Personally,  I say that no you are not under any obligation.  If you have the time and the desire and it looks really important, then do a return to sender.  Otherwise, no I don't think you should be obligated after 10 years....

 

This makes sense. I'll try to pass on anything official-looking, but only because I feel like it, it rarely happens, and the former owner is a nice guy. I'll chuck the junk and trade magazines (though they're pretty interesting, as he was apparently part of a bomb squad). I hardly think you're obligated after ten years, though.

 

What was really sad was getting Christmas cards addressed to the former owner and his wife, as she died before we bought this house. 

[Ottakee]

On a positive story, last week we got an invitation to a graduation open house from our former foster son...............he was with us from age 4 1/2-5 1/2.........and is now 18 1/2, so it has been 13 years since he lived with us.  To make it even more special, the invitation was addressed to our FORMER address, where we moved from 2 1/2 years ago............and that house was torn down for a highway project.  The mail carrier on that route took it upon themselves to notice this invitation and get it to our current carrier even though our change of address thing expired 1 1/2 years ago.

[Katy]

If you write "addressee unknown" and "return to sender" and give it to your letter carrier they can return all mail for you for a period of time.  One year perhaps?

[marbel]

I still write "return to sender" and note the number of years since the addressee could have lived at the address.   It has been 7 years for us.   I get that it is a federal offense to tamper with mail but honestly if the people don't care that they are not getting mail from their investment company after 7 years, why should I? 

 

[PuddleJumper1]

When we had this issue we spoke to the post office. They had a form we filled out showing the names of people who should/might receive mail at our address. Once that was filed we stopped getting mail for other people. We spent way too much time writing 'not at this address' for several years.

[bettyandbob]

we never got anything from the family we bought the house from 16 years ago. However, prior to their ownership this house was a rental. One resident of this rental lives on our street still. That family rented this house about 23 years ago. It's only in the last couple years we stopped getting Christmas cards for them. We do get bill collection stuff from someone who rented the house like 25 years ago. I used to write "not at this address" and put it back in the mailbox. However, around 5 years ago I decided we'd done that enough and I throw anything like that away. 

[Mama Geek]

We asked the post office and they said to put a note in the mailbox that said to only deliver mail for the names of the people in our family.  That has greatly improved things for us.

[Cosmos]

I continue to send it back after seven years. It happens infrequently, though. Maybe once or twice a year. And I don't do it for catalogs or junk like that. As others have mentioned, I write "Not at this address" or "Addressee unknown" or something as well. Maybe that helps.

[Mrs. Tharp]

I agree with your dh. We get mail every once in a while, but nothing of any import. If you've been returning mail up until now, I'd say your obligation is pretty much done.

[*Lulu*]

We have been here almost 8 years and STILL get mail addressed to the previous owners and the owner prior to that at least once every few months.

 

The first 3 years I made a WEEKLY trip to the post office to return mail and remind the post office that we lived there now.

 

I cannot count how many times I filled out those little forms. *sigh*

 

Now......I toss any junk mail/magazine type mail and set aside official and personal mail. Every other month I make a trip to the post office and hand it over.

[StephanieZ]

It is really not that much more difficult to put a note/stamp on it and back in the box than to throw it out. It may be an irritant, but I'd continue to do it. Buy a stamp from Office Depot that says Not at This Address. Or print up a few sheets of labels/stickers.

 

I personally would feel find throwing out obvious junk mail or even magazines (after a year), but for anything that might be legal/important, I'd keep returning it. If I were printing labels, I might put "Not at This Address FOR OVER 10 YEARS" in bold red . . . Might get some attention. Printing up a little sign for the inside of your mail box door is a great idea. You could list the names of residents, and request no mail for anyone else. 

 

FWIW, I have recently taken charge of my mom's affairs. She has Alzheimer's. One of the messes I am cleaning up is her mail, which is now coming to my house since she's moved in with us. What a mess! She had been taken advantage of with charities/junk mail/catalogs galore, and I literally get 20-30 piece of crap mail for her daily. I feel your pain, and it is a slow laborious process to try to slow down the torrent. If she had, say, moved to a NH and didn't have family taking care of all this, I could see a huge problem with her mail accumulating horribly. Some people in my shoes don't even have the person's address officially changed because they wish to avoid getting all the junk. Instead, they just contact important companies, etc, and change addresses one by one. I didn't want to risk losing important mail, so I didn't do that, but I can totally see the temptation . . . 

 

Perhaps you could google up the person(s) and see if they are dead? Or, if you bought the house from them, maybe you can contact them and find out? If they are dead, then you can add 'deceased" to the return to sender, and that will end the mail much faster. (It only took me a year or two to end 99% of my dad's mail once he passed away.)

 

Good luck!

[katilac]

We are pushing TWO decades at this address, and we still get mail for the old occupants!  Some of it is clearly bills or checks, which I really don't get. Did they not fill out a change of address form? Or let at least certain companies know? Do you not notice you aren't getting bills or checks in a timely manner? 

 

We also get the occasional phone call, even though the number is different. 

[RebeccaS]

I'm just happy that after having our phone number for over 7 years we finally don't get calls from bill collectors for whoever had this number previously.

When we first moved in we got calls for a woman for a couple years. All collections agencies. They finally stopped. They started again last year and dh looked her up. Guess she filed for bankruptcy again. :P

 

We still get the odd piece of mail for the previous owner. We've been in our house for 11 years. I just return it.

[Butter]

After about 6 months I just started throwing everything away.  Actually the mail we still get is for, I believe, the ex-husband who had moved out many months before the house was sold.  The mail carrier has a note in our box to not leave mail for his last name, but she persists.  We've written not at this address and put it in the out box and it comes right back to us in a day or two.  So we decided to just put it in the trash.  No point in doing anything and just having it come back (with our not at this address note on it!).

[Miss Mousie]

I will do as PPs have said (not at this address) for everything but obvious junk mail.  If a piece is re-delivered to me, I will black out the street address.

 

I can't imagine ever, ever opening someone else's mail. 

[KRG]

We have lived in our house 10 years.  A couple of years ago we started getting mail from someone that had never lived here and wasn't a neighbor.  I kept putting return to sender, not at this address on the mail.  It stopped for awhile but started up again this week.  Weird.

[marbel]

After about 6 months I just started throwing everything away.  Actually the mail we still get is for, I believe, the ex-husband who had moved out many months before the house was sold.  The mail carrier has a note in our box to not leave mail for his last name, but she persists.  We've written not at this address and put it in the out box and it comes right back to us in a day or two.  So we decided to just put it in the trash.  No point in doing anything and just having it come back (with our not at this address note on it!).

 

Black out the bar code (if there is one).  The bar code is what's bringing it back to you. 

 

[Butter]

Black out the bar code (if there is one).  The bar code is what's bringing it back to you. 

 

 

Yup, tried that.  Didn't work.

 

[marbel]

Yup, tried that.  Didn't work.

 

 

Really?  Wow.  Bummer. 

[Kathryn]

We get mail not for the person who lived here before us, but the person before that. Over twenty years ago. I only send back stuff that looks important.

[Farrar]

We've done the only deliver for these people thing years ago.  I don't think it really helped much.  Maybe for awhile?

 

It's such an odd thing.  I also think about the legal issues, but a decade!  It's such a long period of time.  And most of them aren't even for the people who lived here before us, they're for people before them, so it's been at least fifteen years.  How is it possible they're still getting things about medical benefits and bills here?

[Farrar]

Btw, the one that inspired this got left on the entry chest and I think dh already threw it out.  So that solved that.  :tongue_smilie:

 

I know it's just writing "return to sender" and "addressee unknown" and all, but it feels like our work should be done.

[ChristyB in TN]

Btw, the one that inspired this got left on the entry chest and I think dh already threw it out. So that solved that. :tongue_smilie:

 

I know it's just writing "return to sender" and "addressee unknown" and all, but it feels like our work should be done.

I know this isn't the same but it reminded me of it anyway. Two houses ago, we lived in a cul-de-sac with no other houses, the neighborhood was new. We didn't have an alarm system. Several times over several years we would get middle of the night visits from the local police saying that our alarm company had notified them that our alarm was going off. One night, the police officer didn't trust my sleepy word that we were sleeping, no burglars were present and that we had no alarm anyway and came in and questioned my also sleepy husband about who he was and did he live in the house. Ummmmm yes. It was crazy and there wasn't a darn thing we could do about it.

 

Anyway, carry on. I think you should be free from the mail. Put it in someone else's mailbox. ;)

[marbel]

<snip>

 

Anyway, carry on. I think you should be free from the mail. Put it in someone else's mailbox. ;)

 

I think that's illegal. :-)

 

Your alarm story blew my mind.  Also not the same but similar - first winter we lived here we got a call at 6 am one snowy day.  It was the local high school's automated "school's closed because of snow" alert.   Ugh.  I didn't have any kids in that school.  Still don't.   Apparently the call was meant for the folks who had the phone # before us.

 

During office hours I called the school. The receptionist said they could not remove the phone number from the list.  What?!  I said you've got to be kidding me.  She stood her ground and I kept challenging her.  No one ever changes phone number?  Once you've had a kid in that school system you or whoever gets your phone number when you give it up gets the calls FOREVER?    Finally she sighed angrily and put me on hold.  When she came back she was quite meek and assured me that our phone number could and would be removed.   She couldn't hang up the phone fast enough.  :lol: :lol:

 

We still get Christmas cards for a few people who've lived here before us.  I feel kind of bad for the senders.  Like, hey, they really aren't your friends since they didn't tell you they moved 7+ years ago.  Stop wasting your money. 

[ChristyB in TN]

 

 

During office hours I called the school. The receptionist said they could not remove the phone number from the list. What?! I said you've got to be kidding me. She stood her ground and I kept challenging her. No one ever changes phone number? Once you've had a kid in that school system you or whoever gets your phone number when you give it up gets the calls FOREVER? Finally she sighed angrily and put me on hold. When she came back she was quite meek and assured me that our phone number could and would be removed. She couldn't hang up the phone fast enough. :lol: :lol:

 

That's hilarious, by the way. Had she not found a way to remove your number from the list, it would have been fun to call HER and say hello every time you got one of those calls. ;)

[Delirium]

I took it to the Post Office after a year and was stunned by the worker that told me to just throw it away if it bothered me that much.

[Cosmos]

We still get Christmas cards for a few people who've lived here before us.  I feel kind of bad for the senders.  Like, hey, they really aren't your friends since they didn't tell you they moved 7+ years ago.  Stop wasting your money. 

 

Oh, that reminds me. In a library book I checked out recently, I found a "Save the Date" card for an upcoming wedding. What's my responsibility here? I have no way of knowing who it was sent *to*, though I do have the couple's names and their website. So I suppose I could contact them and ask who they invited from my town (it's from across the country). On the other hand, it's only a Save the Date card, so they should be getting an actual invitation as well, right? And surely they put it on their calendar before sticking it in a library book as a bookmark. I could do something, I guess, but there's no action as clear-cut as "return to sender", so I probably won't.

[Guest]

We stopped about a month after we moved in. Now we rip it up and toss it no matter what. Change your address, previous owners!

[Evergreen State Sue]

We bought this house 24 years ago, and we still occasionally get something for the previous owners.  One thing in particular is generic retirement info from the company he probably worked for.  I've put "return to sender" on the envelope, I've indicated how long ago they moved, and I've even sent an email to the company.  At some point, you have to just give up and toss it. 

[Guest]

We have been in our house less than a year, but it is the oddest transition...the house is about 20 years old, but it must have had a bunch of owners, because I get mail for many different names.  The ODD part is that the people we bought the house from didn't leave any information behind about where they were going or anything.  Just POOF--they're gone.  Weird.  At least it is to me.  

 

[PrairieSong]

Wow, I am amazed at all the people receiving mail from previous owners 10 or 20 years later. We got a few things when we first moved here, but only for a short while.

[marbel]

We have been in our house less than a year, but it is the oddest transition...the house is about 20 years old, but it must have had a bunch of owners, because I get mail for many different names.  The ODD part is that the people we bought the house from didn't leave any information behind about where they were going or anything.  Just POOF--they're gone.  Weird.  At least it is to me.  

 

Is that unusual?    We've never known anything about previous owners of our houses.  Well, except the one we bought from my Mom.  :D    And when we've sold houses, we've never left any information behind for them.  I can't think of a reason to.  (Since I always fill out change of address cards when I move.) 

[Liz CA]

Been here for 3 years now and still get mail for several different names. If it looks important, I write the usual "not at this address" on it and let them sort it out at the post office. If it's obvious junk mail, I toss it.

[TammyinTN]

I figure three months, after that you're on your own.  

 

PS..I've moved 15 times and 2 internationally in 27 years.  :)

[ThisIsTheDay]

Thank you for this thread and the responses that make me feel free to finally toss out mail for the former resident!  I've written "Not at This Address" and returned to the same bank? at least a dozen times in the past four years.

 

I've just felt guilty about throwing it out; I'm not too concerned at this point about any "tampering with mail" charges from the feds.  lol

[Reefgazer]

5 years at our current house and we still receive mail for the previous occupants also.  I toss it all, unless it looks like some official bank-type statement, then I scribble on the envelope "no longer at this address" and toss it in the post office box.

[Hoot]

We have lived in our home for 16 yrs and not a week goes by without getting mail for the previous owners. I still write "wrong address" on the outside of things occasionally but am also known to just trash it.

[Hoot]

We still get Christmas cards for a few people who've lived here before us. I feel kind of bad for the senders. Like, hey, they really aren't your friends since they didn't tell you they moved 7+ years ago. Stop wasting your money.

We got a wedding invitation for the previous owners 12 yrs after moving in here. Even worse, it was addressed as Mr. & Mrs. but the sole reason they sold the house was because they were getting divorced.