What is your biggest gripe about homeschooling?

[Parrothead]

We, homeschoolers as a group, tend to talk about all the wonderful advantages of homeschooling. I never really hear anything negative about the overall aspects of it. We all have the day-to-day complaints such as, "My kid is dawdling today" or "My school plans for the day fell apart."

 

So overall what is one thing that just bugs you to no end about homeschooling?

 

For me it is a lack of IRL adult conversation during the day.

[Cheryl in NM]

The dawddling and sometimes lack of respect from ds. Today he had to do 70 push ups. I guess he'll have a strong upper body!

 

I do miss MY social time though, but I could just make more time for it.

[Rhonda in WA]

I guess for me it is no alone time. I feel I give to everyone else and sometimes neglect myself. Hopefully no one bashes me for saying that. But I would love to have more time to myself and not have to get up an hour earlier to have time. To shop or better yet to use the bathroom alone would be so grand.

 

Oh to dream!

[Happy]

The being responsible for ds's education. Scary sometimes to think I might not be covering all the bases, or I am and he is not getting it.

 

Living life so transparently...little alone time, etc. I told my husband not too long ago that I was tired of being a good example. I wanted to sit on the couch, eat junk food and watch TV all day. ;)

[elegantlion]

For me I think it is an underlying attitude from ds. "No one but you is going to check my work, so why do I have to ...(be neat, write it all out, finish it, really pay attention, etc..)" I don't think he means it to be disrespectful, but perhaps underdeveloped discipline.

[Dayle in Guatemala]

1) Lack of adult time for me away from the dc.

 

2) Trying not to feel guilty when it doesn't all get done when I want it to.

 

3) This is kind of hard to explain, but, trying to be real to those who have bad examples of homeschooling in front of them and are really watching you to see if you are yet another person they know who shouldn't be doing this. I just want to only present to them the good side, but, if I'm going to be honest with them, there's the times when it doesn't work out so well, or when things are hard to work through with one child.

[Mom-ninja.]

I agree with others and say the lack of time for me is so hard. Not just the "I have no time to relax" but it's so hard to schedule things for myself. If I need to go to the Dr I have to take the kids along. Get a hiarcut? Kids are with me. Forget about getting a prenatal massage (which I would love love love right now) cause I have no one to watch the kids. Yes, I did have a massage once with the kids with me. It was not very relaxing!

[Rosy]

I'd have to say the lack of time to pursue my interests. I'd love to finish college and do some kind of interesting work, but it'll be at least 5 years before I could even go back part-time and at least another 8 after that before I'll be my days will be my own again. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mom and I know this is what God has for me. But there's a whole huge part of my brain that I really look forward to using again someday. :)

[Mrs Mungo]

1. Lack of time alone/with other adults and no kids.

 

2. Compalcency from my kids in their behavior and work standards. I feel like I have to be *on them* all the time to get good results and it's exhausting.

[Guest]

I think, being a newbie to hs, the most shocking thing I've encountered is how discouraging other people can be. It's not YOUR kids I'm raising, so why are you so concerned about it?

[Happy]

2. Compalcency from my kids in their behavior and work standards. I feel like I have to be *on them* all the time to get good results and it's exhausting.

 

Wears a body out, doesn't it?

[sleepy]

I've been on the job for 9 years, and I'm still waiting on my first paycheck!

[katalaska]

My biggest gripe is that I have NO time to do the things I want to do. My entire day is filled with the "shoulds" and the "musts."

 

When was the last time I read a book (NOT magazine) for fun? When the last Harry Potter came out.

 

When was the last time I sewed anything? Last year--American Indian Halloween costumes for the kids (doubles as dress-up).

 

When was the last time I sat and watched a movie by myself because I wanted to? A few months ago--but it was a movie about autism (dd has some autistic characteristics and we once thought she had high-functioning autism). Also, I watched the movie while I was exercising...even when I exercise I have to multi-task or I can't fit everything in.

 

I have a HUGE list of things I want to do...I want to sew the quilts for my kids. I want to organize the pictures I've taken of the kids over the last seven years. I want to edit the family history I've been keeping for eleven years. I want to clean my house and have everything organized. I want to reorganize my file cabinet. I want to keep my computerized financial program completely up-to-date. I want to create a budget. I want to be able to throw things away without anyone following me around and saying "but I LOVE that" or "but we NEED that."

 

I'm an introvert who can't even find time alone in the bathroom or shower. The only time I am left almost entirely alone is at night when I'm asleep. And when I'm asleep I'm not very productive. :001_huh:

 

I'm at one of those times in my life right now where I am envious of the parents who are looking forward to school starting next week because of all the TIME they will have to DO things.:ack2:

[abbeyej]

That my faults are magnified. Lack of self-discipline, procrastination, disorganization... The stakes are so very high if I indulge any of those faults -- it's not just a company or a pay-check in jeopardy, it's my children's futures.

 

That, lol, and no alone time. ;)

[Mesa]

Knowing my children's education falls squarely on my shoulders. It can be very scary!

 

I wish I have a little more time to myself. I'd like to finish school.. heck I'd just like a few minutes all to my self once a day lol.

[sleepy]

That my faults are magnified. Lack of self-discipline, procrastination, disorganization... The stakes are so very high if I indulge any of those faults -- it's not just a company or a pay-check in jeopardy, it's my children's futures.

 

That, lol, and no alone time. ;)

 

La la la la la... fingers in my ears...I can't hear you

 

You are disciplined, on the ball, and organized... at least in my mind. :D

[Melissa in Australia]

frustration.

I find it extremely frustrating,

I remember trying to explain clauses to my son, and him sitting there quietly , and then tell me at the finish he wasn't listening. I actually jumped up and down. He said " what are You doing Mum???"

I now don't jump up and down, but I I still feel just as frustrated.

[Aubrey]

No days off.

[sweetbaby]

That my faults are magnified. Lack of self-discipline, procrastination, disorganization... The stakes are so very high if I indulge any of those faults -- it's not just a company or a pay-check in jeopardy, it's my children's futures.

 

That, lol, and no alone time. ;)

 

:iagree:

[Mrs Mungo]

Wears a body out, doesn't it?

 

It really does, I could cry thinking about it and I'm a strong soul.

[Heather in the Kootenays]

Lack of alone time for sure.

[Desert Rat]

For me it's the constant dialogue in my own head. Am I doing this right? Should it really only take 4 hours to cover everything in a day? Is it okay that I'm reading a book (or on the hive) while the kids are playing? On and on and on. I wonder if my kids were in school, if I would still be so self doubting.

[swellmomma]

My biggest issue is dealing with the nay-sayers. I feel enough pressure to be everything to my children I really don't need the added stress of their negativity. The lack of adult interaction is a big one too. I do not have a spouse coming home at the end of the night so I am with my children 24/7 which is very exhausting, and I lack that adult time. Which means I do have days where I lay on the couch eating junk food because I simply can not keep it up non-stop 24/7 365 days a year. Of course on those days is when someone who doesn't agree with hsing calls or shows up and it looks like I have proven them right, when in reality I decided to simply take a day off after 45 days going strong kwim

[Just a Jen in Mississippi]

The biggest complaint I have is that I have way too many shoes to fill! Wife, mom, teacher, cook, maid, part-time artist, and then I also feel pressure to serve at church or within our homeschool group. It can be very overwhelming. I have piles of pictures I would love sorted into scrapbooks and such, but there's just not a lot of free time for myself when school is in session. When school is out, I'm doing catch up work. I really, really miss my free time.

 

Another thing is the expense of curriculum. It's definitely not cheap to homeschool. Well, I guess there are money saving ways, but to get the programs I want can be expensive.

 

And lastly, I hate grading my kids independent work! That can consume the most of my time! But if I let it slide, I feel that they get too lax in their work.

[Emmy]

1) I never have time to do any projects. Pre-homeschool I got the day to day done and would usually find time each week for "something extra" - cleaning out a cabinet, organizing the pantry, etc. With homeschool I can only do school and the minimum day-to-day stuff (and sometimes not even that very well)

 

2) Nothing is ever settled with school. One thing is going well but I'm not sure another is - maybe I need to try something else, schedule is good but I don't have enough time so I'll tweak it, are we reading enough? I just read an article on XYZ that might apply to son #2 - need to put time to that, am I ignoring #3 too much? Need to make sure he's getting a real preschool year - oh my goodness have we done any crafts lately? ETC. ETC. ETC. There's always something I need to research, think about, decide on, or tweak. It exhausts me sometimes.

[Trivium Academy]

The day to day life stuff, no time alone, the many different hats to wear, no paycheck, no days off. I think that lessens as the kids get older, I doubt ds4 will be following me into the bathroom in another year or so.

 

I wish homeschooling didn't seem so cloak and dagger to the general public, even if its not the popular education choice. All these stories of murders, abuse and other horrible incidents involving homeschoolers do not help.

[8filltheheart]

My biggest regret with homeschooling is the loss of special "little ones" time. When my older kids were little, we did so much. We went to story hour at the library, park days when it was gorgeous outside, spent way more time wiggling our toes in the mud and just relishing in being alive and little.

 

Now that my older kids' school days take so much of my time and energy, my little ones are the ones that lose that mommy time. There is only so much of me to give.

 

I do honestly regret the loss.

[Sarah CB]

If I had about 6 extra hours a day things would run a lot more smoothly.

[iquilt]

No time off and no paycheck:confused:

[Plucky]

No time off and no paycheck:confused:

 

Every time I read your user name I see iguilt. I keep wondering what you're so guilty of. LOL I think my eyesight is getting worse.

[Guest Virginia Dawn]

That I have to worry about what other people think.

 

That includes not being able to let my kids play in the front yard during school hours.

[iquilt]

Every time I read your user name I see iguilt. I keep wondering what you're so guilty of. LOL I think my eyesight is getting worse.

 

See, the first time dh saw it he saw I quit, as in I quit school! It must be very confusing for everyone:tongue_smilie:

[Peela]

I get plenty of social time, adult time and alone time, so those aren't issues for me.

 

This week, my main issue is that my husband, on his non working days, wants to be with and around us, but it's not working and it's causing problems. He doesn't teach the kids, and is not involved much in the education side of things. For weeks now he has been doing jigsaw puzzles in the schoolroom,(the same 3 over and over and over- and he wont let the kids help) but its right where we do our read alouds, and he refuses to make space for us, for the kids to sit on the sofa, so I called him on it, and now he feels rejected. The truth is, it's easier when he is not around, while we are trying to get our work done. And I don't know how to deal with the fact that he wants to be around but is annoying to have around. In the past I have been very clear and direct about it, but even that doesn't seem to be working.

So, that is my issue this week.

[charlotteb]

My biggest problem is time management. We are not early risers and that often has us doing school until 4:00 in the afternoon. Then I'm rushing to get supper started, and start some housework, etc. By the end of the day I feel that I've not had any "me" time.

[Guest Katia]

My biggest gripe with homeschooling is that it goes by waayyyy toooo fast.

 

One day your dc are starting K and you think you'll never have time to yourself, you wonder if you are ruining them even though you are giving the best and you know it, everyone and his brother has a negative opinion that you have to deal with about your schooling options, and you just want to talk to an adult!

 

The next day, your dc has graduated from your hs, they are headed off to the college of their choice with academic scholarships and where life was crazy, crazy, nuts for so many years, you now only have one high schooler left at home, BUT

 

You have done your job so well that said high schooler is an independent learner and also takes classes at the community college. Only the cats are crazy now and you sit around wondering what to do.

 

This really happens girls. I'm there right now. After 14 years of homeschooling.

 

Remember with all the gripes: "This too shall pass" and believe me it's all too quickly. Enjoy those kiddos while you can.

[LaMere Academy]

Mine would be children who do not do as they are told AND me staying motivated. Um, I lost my motivation years ago and I don't think it's ever coming back. :confused:

[woolybear]

Hmm....I think having to be prepared at family holidays to deal with the comments, opinions, attitudes, etc, from some people who have NO clue what this is all about. And what's it to them anyway?! Also, said people have no clue what ps is like these days. Ughhh!

[dirty ethel rackham]

Wow, Abbey - I was going to post the exact same thing. I was dealing with a panic attack last night (on my last night of vacation) pondering this exact thing. I think I spent 2 hours in PMS-laden tears, trying not to wake my family, praying to God to give me what I need to give my children what they need.

[EKS]

My biggest issue with homeschooling is the constant arguing about schoolwork I get from my 12 yo. It's too much, it's too hard, I can't do it, I don't want to do it. Every little thing I ask him to do is the same response. It makes me nuts and I have to say that we are starting school on Monday and I am dreading it because of his attitude.

[Erica in PA]

Trying to be a mother, homemaker, and teacher all at once, throughout the day. I like each of the jobs themselves, but balancing the three is very difficult, not to mention tiring, and guilt inducing.

[Carpe Diem]

into a 401K. Even though I work a few hours each week for extra spending money it isn't enough to put any worthwhile amount away.

[Beebalm]

Sleepless nights when I worry about whether or not my kids have enough of.......challenges, wins, friends, activities, sports, happiness, free time, productivity, work ethic, spiritual food, fun, community involvement, etc.

 

The stereotypes really bug me too. A lot. Even though they're ridiculous, so few KNOW they're ridiculous. And I'm tired of educating those who cling to them.

[lovemyboys]

That my faults are magnified. Lack of self-discipline, procrastination, disorganization... The stakes are so very high if I indulge any of those faults -- it's not just a company or a pay-check in jeopardy, it's my children's futures.

 

That, lol, and no alone time. ;)

 

I felt like I got really off track in these areas last year and it really shows. Lots of good reasons for that but they're really just excuses, so that's what I have to work on.

[abbeyej]

I wish homeschooling didn't seem so cloak and dagger to the general public, even if its not the popular education choice.

 

Really? You think that's the impression? I never run into that. Occasional skepticism (of varying degrees) about a family's ability to provide adequate educational or social opportunities, but overall the public opinion of home schooling seems to be pretty positive.

[newlifemom]

I think the thing I hate the most is not knowing if I am doing the right thing for my son who has not been diagnosed but....different people in education circles from speech therapist and OT and teacher/sisters, special ed teaching friends all think he has PDD/NOS, Aspergers, ADHD, Sensory Integration Disorder and God knows what else. I mean always wondering if I really have the tools to deal with his issues(if he even has them) KWIM?

 

Oh and all the other things like no alone time, cleaning time, time to make money for family, relatives that think your insane etc. :D

[Jenny in Atl]

The lack of more hs friends. Just not too many secular classical homeschoolers about.

[abbeyej]

The lack of more hs friends. Just not too many secular classical homeschoolers about.

 

I know quite a few... ;) (LEAD party at Glenlake park next Thursday afternoon...)

[lovemyboys]

I doubt ds4 will be following me into the bathroom in another year or so.

 

 

 

don't get your hopes up! Ds are way past 4 here and they find it very social to visit with anyone there, especially me. :001_huh:

[Jenny in Atl]

I know quite a few... ;) (LEAD party at Glenlake park next Thursday afternoon...)

 

I know, but you all are too far. :001_unsure:

[Carol in Cal.]

into a 401K. Even though I work a few hours each week for extra spending money it isn't enough to put any worthwhile amount away.

 

Just a little every month adds up to a lot over time.