How should I tactfully ask for tips?

[poppy]

Really? I was under the impression teachers were not allowed to accept money?

I am not sure I'd like it if they were; that would seem very problematic.

 

 

Gifts, yes...... Tips, no. At least no where that my kids have gone to school, or where I've taught. We could accept gifts but not money.

 

I don't think anyone gives teachers cash, but it's common-- in my experience -- to give small gifts, including gift cards, to teachers, especially in younger grades.   $20 or less per person usually, not some great sum.  

[Elfknitter.#]

I understand about restaurant wages. Not having grown up in this culture, I am curious about those tipping rules:

how do you know who relies on tips because wages are pitiful, and why would it be customary to tip postal workers and garbage collectors, who do not earn such low wages?

Why the garbage collector and not a school teacher, seeing both are employed by the municipality?

Why the postal worker and not the librarian?

 

ETA: In my home culture, it is considered insulting to tip the owner of the business. So, if the self-employed owner of the hair salon cuts your hair himself, he should not be tipped - if an employed hair dresser does, she would be. You tip the waiter, but you don't tip the chef who owns the restaurant. Are there similar considerations in the US?

I would not consider it appropriate to tip any self-employed private teacher/tutor my children had; I would give them a Christmas gift (gift card, so almost like money - but handing them a check or cash would seem wrong). I would give a monetary tip if the private teacher was employed by some school or organization.

Why not librarians usually falls under government employees not being able to accept cash tips. It varies by municipalities and counties, but generally there are policies that prevent one from accepting cash. Like postal workers, small, non-cash items under $20 or $25 are ok.

[Lanny]

If someone gives me the impression that they feel they have a "right" to receive a tip, and/or that we are "obligated"  to tip them, they receive a lower tip than we would otherwise give them, or, in some cases, nothing.

 

Sometimes we go to restaurants and the restaurant adds on a percentage, for our tip. Often, it is lower than what we would give the waiter/waitress, had they not added that percentage onto our bill.

 

RegentDude mentioned not tipping owners of businessess and I was brought up that way (in the USA), but I did tip the woman who cut my hair, after she opened her own shop, because I had tipped her, when she worked for someone else, and she took her time, cutting my hair, which I appreciated.

[QueenCat]

I don't think anyone gives teachers cash, but it's common-- in my experience -- to give small gifts, including gift cards, to teachers, especially in younger grades.   $20 or less per person usually, not some great sum.  

 

Gifts, yes, I've received many as a teacher. I would NEVER consider such gifts to be a bonus or a tip. Just a sweet gift of thanks and gratitude from a student & their family.

[poppy]

Gifts, yes, I've received many as a teacher. I would NEVER consider such gifts to be a bonus or a tip. Just a sweet gift of thanks and gratitude from a student & their family.

 

I'd say the Christmas gestures to garbage collectors, mailmen, newspaper delivery workers, etc are the exact same thing - a gesture of thanks.

[poppy]

If someone gives me the impression that they feel they have a "right" to receive a tip, and/or that we are "obligated"  to tip them, they receive a lower tip than we would otherwise give them, or, in some cases, nothing.

 

Sometimes we go to restaurants and the restaurant adds on a percentage, for our tip. Often, it is lower than what we would give the waiter/waitress, had they not added that percentage onto our bill.

 

RegentDude mentioned not tipping owners of businessess and I was brought up that way (in the USA), but I did tip the woman who cut my hair, after she opened her own shop, because I had tipped her, when she worked for someone else, and she took her time, cutting my hair, which I appreciated.

 

Do you really leave no tip at all if someone implies that they expect a tip in a setting where tips are customary? I don't get that. 

 

I guess my attitude is, we are receiving a discounted service because the workers are underpaid. Most people agree (I'm sure) that if you can't afford the tip, you can't afford the meal.  So we are "obligated" to tip. There are certainly reasons not to, but, I don't think acknowledging the existence of tips is so terrible  that it warrants stiffing a server or hairdresser.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Do you really leave no tip at all if someone implies that they expect a tip in a setting where tips are customary? I don't get that. 

 

I guess my attitude is, we are receiving a discounted service because the workers are underpaid. Most people agree (I'm sure) that if you can't afford the tip, you can't afford the meal.  So we are "obligated" to tip. There are certainly reasons not to, but, I don't think acknowledging the existence of tips is so terrible  that it warrants stiffing a server or hairdresser.

OK - here's my reality and my struggle.  It is so expensive for everything.  Eating out is expensive.  We've cut out 99% of eating out but when we do eat out it takes a big hit on our wallet.  Adding a tip makes it even worse.  (I do tip.)  Paying the utilities is expensive.  I consider garbage service a utility.  Adding a tip on to that at Christmas time (an especially tight time financially for many families) is a hardship.  I am grateful for what I get from the US postal service.  But I pay big bucks on postage now esp. compared to years past as every year they increase the price.  I haven't had a haircut in years.  I can't afford it.  I have very fine straight hair that doesn't need any special styling but to hire someone to cut it straight across (or curved or whatever) at the ends costs (for my wallet anyway) big bucks.  And then I'm supposed to tip on top of that?  So I don't give them any money at all and stay home instead.  

[MooCow]

When my oldest was in private school, the headmaster would do a monetary collection for the teachers.

 

Eta: the tuition was very reasonable.

[Maus]

How do you even go about tipping a newspaper delivery person? Ours throws the paper from a van at 5 am and moves on.

It's usually possible to add a tip to your monthly bill. I have one customer who adds a $2.00 tip each month.

 

We've been having an interesting conversation while we wait for the truck to bring us the papers. One of our carriers is married to a Postal Carrier, so we've discussed the differences. Her husband, as a postal carrier, is an employee of the Federal Government. He gets a salary or wage (I forget which), and some benefits, etc. He doesn't expect tips, but is allowed to take them if offered.

 

We are independent contractors, working for a company that isn't the newspaper, either. They contract for delivery.

 

We don't get benefits. We are paid piece rate, $0.10 a paper, gross (more for the Sunday, half that for the Nationals.) We have to pay for our own rubber bands or bags. We are not reimbursed for gas. We are really only paid for "throwing"/delivering the paper, and not for picking up and folding the paper.

 

Testing out the math skills I'm passing on to my kids!

 

I make $16.20 on an average day, gross. It costs me $3.24 for that day's bags, and about $4.50 for that day's gas (ten miles round trip to the depot to get the papers, 11 miles for my first route, and 18 for my second = 39 miles at 25 mpg, and gas at 2.89 locally, for a cost of $4.46), for a net pay of $8.46 per day. For that amount, I leave the house at 2:15 am, and return about 7:45 (if the weather is good), so 5 1/2 hours. That comes out $1.50 an hour.

 

Do you know who my fellow carriers are? Not teenage kids. They do better flipping burgers. Two groups: 1) Foreign language speakers, who never stop working. They do the paper in the wee hours of the morning, then go on to their day jobs, followed by their evening jobs. 2) Moms, trying to find any kind of a job that lets them still be there for their kids (three of us are home school moms), but still needing more money in their household. Many of them, like us, are in that awkward financial range where the household income is a little too much to qualify for any aid, but a little too little to actual pay for things out of pocket. I took mine to pay my husband's medical bills. We have insurance, but no place out of which to squeeze our co-pays and deductibles. (He spent five days in the hospital. Insurance paid 80%. The out-of-pocket maximum kicked in, which limited our share to $2500. We didn't have $2500. Had to do something. Because of several years in a row of such expenses, we've already eliminated the categories in our budget for fun money/vacations; clothing; curriculum, etc., and you can only squeeze the grocery budget so far, you know.)

 

There are also a few retirees, students, one single mom, and one entire family with six routes between them.

[Alicia64]

I love the "blessings from your paper carrier" one.

 

Should we be tipping our mail carrier? It's a Federal job. . . it just seems like her salary is covered. If I'm wrong, just say.

 

Alley

[Alicia64]

OK - here's my reality and my struggle.  It is so expensive for everything.  Eating out is expensive.  We've cut out 99% of eating out but when we do eat out it takes a big hit on our wallet.  Adding a tip makes it even worse. 

 

Before kids we ate out -- inexpensively -- about twice a week. Now? Super-duper rarely. We consider getting a $1 cone or a .50 cone at fast food eating out. Or getting donuts on a Sunday morning.

 

Even getting slurpies at Target thrills the boys. Mine are 10 -- this is "eating out" for them.

 

:lol:

 

Alley

[poppy]

OK - here's my reality and my struggle.  It is so expensive for everything.  Eating out is expensive.  We've cut out 99% of eating out but when we do eat out it takes a big hit on our wallet.  Adding a tip makes it even worse.  (I do tip.)  Paying the utilities is expensive.  I consider garbage service a utility.  Adding a tip on to that at Christmas time (an especially tight time financially for many families) is a hardship.  I am grateful for what I get from the US postal service.  But I pay big bucks on postage now esp. compared to years past as every year they increase the price.  I haven't had a haircut in years.  I can't afford it.  I have very fine straight hair that doesn't need any special styling but to hire someone to cut it straight across (or curved or whatever) at the ends costs (for my wallet anyway) big bucks.  And then I'm supposed to tip on top of that?  So I don't give them any money at all and stay home instead.  

 

Right there with you.

 

I had my HUSBAND cut my hair this morning, using this tutorial: http://www.monkeysee.com/play/13108-women-s-haircut-simple-cut-and-bangs. It turned out OK! I have the same kind of hair as you.  It looks a bit cleaned up and feels much better.  I lost a few inches and it feels like I lost five pounds. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

Right there with you.

 

I had my HUSBAND cut my hair this morning, using this tutorial: http://www.monkeysee.com/play/13108-women-s-haircut-simple-cut-and-bangs. It turned out OK! I have the same kind of hair as you.  It looks a bit cleaned up and feels much better.  I lost a few inches and it feels like I lost five pounds. 

That tutorial is great!  Thank you.  

[stripe]

How do you even go about tipping a newspaper delivery person? Ours throws the paper from a van at 5 am and moves on.

Mine gave me a homemade heart-shaped card with a candy cane on it last year, with her address. I was already quite irritated with her because she was late all the time and, although I wanted to continue to receive the newspaper, ended up cancelling just to avoid her. 

[DawnM]

Is it worth it?  I would not find that worth the effort.

 

I am surprised at this pay.  My cousin and his wife both do paper routes for extra money.  They said they bring home about $1,400 per month each.  Now, that may be gross pay and they may have to buy gas and rubber bands and bags, I don't know.....but they work pretty much the same hours you do, about 5 per day.  They absolutely think it is worth it for their needs.  

 

 

It's usually possible to add a tip to your monthly bill. I have one customer who adds a $2.00 tip each month.

We've been having an interesting conversation while we wait for the truck to bring us the papers. One of our carriers is married to a Postal Carrier, so we've discussed the differences. Her husband, as a postal carrier, is an employee of the Federal Government. He gets a salary or wage (I forget which), and some benefits, etc. He doesn't expect tips, but is allowed to take them if offered.

We are independent contractors, working for a company that isn't the newspaper, either. They contract for delivery.

We don't get benefits. We are paid piece rate, $0.10 a paper, gross (more for the Sunday, half that for the Nationals.) We have to pay for our own rubber bands or bags. We are not reimbursed for gas. We are really only paid for "throwing"/delivering the paper, and not for picking up and folding the paper.

Testing out the math skills I'm passing on to my kids!

I make $16.20 on an average day, gross. It costs me $3.24 for that day's bags, and about $4.50 for that day's gas (ten miles round trip to the depot to get the papers, 11 miles for my first route, and 18 for my second = 39 miles at 25 mpg, and gas at 2.89 locally, for a cost of $4.46), for a net pay of $8.46 per day. For that amount, I leave the house at 2:15 am, and return about 7:45 (if the weather is good), so 5 1/2 hours. That comes out $1.50 an hour.

Do you know who my fellow carriers are? Not teenage kids. They do better flipping burgers. Two groups: 1) Foreign language speakers, who never stop working. They do the paper in the wee hours of the morning, then go on to their day jobs, followed by their evening jobs. 2) Moms, trying to find any kind of a job that lets them still be there for their kids (three of us are home school moms), but still needing more money in their household. Many of them, like us, are in that awkward financial range where the household income is a little too much to qualify for any aid, but a little too little to actual pay for things out of pocket. I took mine to pay my husband's medical bills. We have insurance, but no place out of which to squeeze our co-pays and deductibles. (He spent five days in the hospital. Insurance paid 80%. The out-of-pocket maximum kicked in, which limited our share to $2500. We didn't have $2500. Had to do something. Because of several years in a row of such expenses, we've already eliminated the categories in our budget for fun money/vacations; clothing; curriculum, etc., and you can only squeeze the grocery budget so far, you know.)

There are also a few retirees, students, one single mom, and one entire family with six routes between them.

 

[DawnM]

I do not get the paper.

 

I don't tip the garbage men or the postal worker either.  

 

 

[Amy in NH]

I had a newspaper route for three years.  I delivered a daily newspaper to 25 businesses (stores), 20 coin boxes, and 100 homes in a wealthy community.  It was an afternoon paper during the week, and a morning paper on the weekends.  That meant I delivered from 1-5pm Monday through Friday, and from 1-5am on Saturday and Sunday.  It was a 365 day job with no vacation unless I could find someone to train, and pay out of my pocket to do so, to take my place.  It was brutal.  I had my second son while I was working that job.  I hired someone to work for me for six weeks after he was born, but the guy split after two weeks, so I dragged my newborn (and preschooler) around for 5 hours per day in the car.  Poor baby screamed his fool head off being in the carseat so long.  What was I going to do?  I changed his diapers on the hood of my car in the winter.  On the weekends I got home at 6 am and got two hours of sleep before getting up at 8 to take care of my kids (that's when they got up).  

 

Yeah, I got some tips during the holidays.  Some people left them in the newspaper delivery box (tube).  Others called them into the newspaper company with a credit card.  Some sent a check directed to me, care of the newspaper company.  Some customers tipped that way when they paid their annual subscription, too.  Only a couple of customers were nasty and condescending.  I suppose I might have gotten more tips if I had left a card, but honestly I couldn't afford it. 

 

I made ~$300 per week gross, minus gas and car expenses.  They paid bags.  But I could bring my kids. 

[milovany]

...I suppose I might have gotten more tips if I had left a card, but honestly I couldn't afford it ...

 

We just do photocopied notes on green paper, four per sheet.  It cost $1.00-$1.50 total and so far we've had one $10 tip come in the mail (presumably from the note because we put our address on it). It doesn't have to be an actual card. 

 

I know you're not doing this job anymore, just posting that info. for anyone interested. 

[Catwoman]

I'd say the Christmas gestures to garbage collectors, mailmen, newspaper delivery workers, etc are the exact same thing - a gesture of thanks.

In some cases, tipping is absolutely expected, and BIG tips are the norm. If you live in Manhattan and you don't give a very generous tip to people like your doorman, you may never see another package that's delivered or get another taxi again... ;)

[swellmomma]

Is it worth it?  I would not find that worth the effort.

 

I am surprised at this pay.  My cousin and his wife both do paper routes for extra money.  They said they bring home about $1,400 per month each.  Now, that may be gross pay and they may have to buy gas and rubber bands and bags, I don't know.....but they work pretty much the same hours you do, about 5 per day.  They absolutely think it is worth it for their needs.  

When I delivered my 3 routes I made about $1200 a month, no cost to me for bags etc.  I paid for gas for sure, but honestly it was decent money for the number of hours I worked.  I make about that at the diner now and I work a lot there and it is a lot harder than delivering papers in the middle of the night was.  When I lived in the city I found it was worth it enough to go back to doing it a few times over the years when my family needed the extra income.  They don't do newspaper delivery in my small town (mail is also not delivered, we pick it up at the post office), so I do other jobs, but really I worked 4.5 hours a day and made decent money imo for the kind of job it was.

[momto10blessings]

It's usually possible to add a tip to your monthly bill. I have one customer who adds a $2.00 tip each month.

 

We've been having an interesting conversation while we wait for the truck to bring us the papers. One of our carriers is married to a Postal Carrier, so we've discussed the differences. Her husband, as a postal carrier, is an employee of the Federal Government. He gets a salary or wage (I forget which), and some benefits, etc. He doesn't expect tips, but is allowed to take them if offered.

 

We are independent contractors, working for a company that isn't the newspaper, either. They contract for delivery.

 

We don't get benefits. We are paid piece rate, $0.10 a paper, gross (more for the Sunday, half that for the Nationals.) We have to pay for our own rubber bands or bags. We are not reimbursed for gas. We are really only paid for "throwing"/delivering the paper, and not for picking up and folding the paper.

 

Testing out the math skills I'm passing on to my kids!

 

I make $16.20 on an average day, gross. It costs me $3.24 for that day's bags, and about $4.50 for that day's gas (ten miles round trip to the depot to get the papers, 11 miles for my first route, and 18 for my second = 39 miles at 25 mpg, and gas at 2.89 locally, for a cost of $4.46), for a net pay of $8.46 per day. For that amount, I leave the house at 2:15 am, and return about 7:45 (if the weather is good), so 5 1/2 hours. That comes out $1.50 an hour.

 

Do you know who my fellow carriers are? Not teenage kids. They do better flipping burgers. Two groups: 1) Foreign language speakers, who never stop working. They do the paper in the wee hours of the morning, then go on to their day jobs, followed by their evening jobs. 2) Moms, trying to find any kind of a job that lets them still be there for their kids (three of us are home school moms), but still needing more money in their household. Many of them, like us, are in that awkward financial range where the household income is a little too much to qualify for any aid, but a little too little to actual pay for things out of pocket. I took mine to pay my husband's medical bills. We have insurance, but no place out of which to squeeze our co-pays and deductibles. (He spent five days in the hospital. Insurance paid 80%. The out-of-pocket maximum kicked in, which limited our share to $2500. We didn't have $2500. Had to do something. Because of several years in a row of such expenses, we've already eliminated the categories in our budget for fun money/vacations; clothing; curriculum, etc., and you can only squeeze the grocery budget so far, you know.)

 

There are also a few retirees, students, one single mom, and one entire family with six routes between them.

Thanks for all this info. I'm going to go over this with my kids today so they'll appreciate reading the paper in the morning

[Prairie~Phlox]

I would find ways to cut expenses and give up the job. How much wear & tear does that add to your car? It just doesn't seem worth it in the long run.

[Mama Geek]

It's usually possible to add a tip to your monthly bill. I have one customer who adds a $2.00 tip each month.

 

We've been having an interesting conversation while we wait for the truck to bring us the papers. One of our carriers is married to a Postal Carrier, so we've discussed the differences. Her husband, as a postal carrier, is an employee of the Federal Government. He gets a salary or wage (I forget which), and some benefits, etc. He doesn't expect tips, but is allowed to take them if offered.

 

We are independent contractors, working for a company that isn't the newspaper, either. They contract for delivery.

 

We don't get benefits. We are paid piece rate, $0.10 a paper, gross (more for the Sunday, half that for the Nationals.) We have to pay for our own rubber bands or bags. We are not reimbursed for gas. We are really only paid for "throwing"/delivering the paper, and not for picking up and folding the paper.

 

Testing out the math skills I'm passing on to my kids!

 

I make $16.20 on an average day, gross. It costs me $3.24 for that day's bags, and about $4.50 for that day's gas (ten miles round trip to the depot to get the papers, 11 miles for my first route, and 18 for my second = 39 miles at 25 mpg, and gas at 2.89 locally, for a cost of $4.46), for a net pay of $8.46 per day. For that amount, I leave the house at 2:15 am, and return about 7:45 (if the weather is good), so 5 1/2 hours. That comes out $1.50 an hour.

 

Do you know who my fellow carriers are? Not teenage kids. They do better flipping burgers. Two groups: 1) Foreign language speakers, who never stop working. They do the paper in the wee hours of the morning, then go on to their day jobs, followed by their evening jobs. 2) Moms, trying to find any kind of a job that lets them still be there for their kids (three of us are home school moms), but still needing more money in their household. Many of them, like us, are in that awkward financial range where the household income is a little too much to qualify for any aid, but a little too little to actual pay for things out of pocket. I took mine to pay my husband's medical bills. We have insurance, but no place out of which to squeeze our co-pays and deductibles. (He spent five days in the hospital. Insurance paid 80%. The out-of-pocket maximum kicked in, which limited our share to $2500. We didn't have $2500. Had to do something. Because of several years in a row of such expenses, we've already eliminated the categories in our budget for fun money/vacations; clothing; curriculum, etc., and you can only squeeze the grocery budget so far, you know.)

 

There are also a few retirees, students, one single mom, and one entire family with six routes between them.

Maus, there is one thing that you haven't taken into account here and that is wear and tear on a vehicle.  You are loosing money by having a paper route.  55 cents per mile is the government per diem rate.  That includes insurance, wear and tear and fuel, if you have a super efficient car it might do better than that, but stopping and starting that a route requires is extra hard on a car as well.  55 cents x 39 miles = $21.45  You will have more maintenance on your car than what you make.  You are loosing money.

[Moxie]

Maus, there is one thing that you haven't taken into account here and that is wear and tear on a vehicle. You are loosing money by having a paper route. 55 cents per mile is the government per diem rate. That includes insurance, wear and tear and fuel, if you have a super efficient car it might do better than that, but stopping and starting that a route requires is extra hard on a car as well. 55 cents x 39 miles = $21.45 You will have more maintenance on your car than what you make. You are loosing money.

She seems pretty bright so I assume she knows this. Right now, she needs cash in hand. Saving money on the car won't pay the bills.

[Maus]

She seems pretty bright so I assume she knows this. Right now, she needs cash in hand. Saving money on the car won't pay the bills.

Yep. Exactly the situation. I started the route when my mentally ill husband decided he would quit therapy and tried to use our financial situation as an excuse.

 

I needed to be able to say, "Here's the cash for your co-pay. You can't have that excuse." I kept at it longer than I originally intended, because, first, he was hospitalized for five days and I needed to pay the deductible, and then our roof started to leak, and I needed cash to pay for that.

 

I gave 30 days notice two weeks ago, specifically timing it so I could take advantage of the Christmas card/tip deal. I am counting down. I have 17 days to go. I quit, though, not because of the lousy pay (because I still need cash in hand), but because the lousy hours make sleep a rare deal, and my kids need one sane parent. I'm beginning to have some semi-psychotic moments due to lack of sleep.

 

I know one married couple there doing it to start the Dave Ramsey program, to get their emergency fund together.

[Julie in CA]

Ridiculously low as in below the federally mandated minimum wage. 

 

When I was a waitress, I made $2.25/hour. That was fairly generous as restaurant jobs go.  The minimum wage at the time was, I believe, $8/hour.  Restaurant dining would be MUCH more expensive if it weren't for the custom of tips.   If newspaper delivery folks were paid minimum wage, the paper would be much more expensive too.

 

I am not a fan of the system. But, it is what it is, so I tip.

 

Hmm...not here in California. Servers get minimum wage + tips.

[DawnM]

But you aren't the one saying you make $1.50 per hour.

 

I have a HS mom friend who delivers papers and makes about $1,400 month after taxes.  I don't know how much her gas is.

 

 

When I delivered my 3 routes I made about $1200 a month, no cost to me for bags etc.  I paid for gas for sure, but honestly it was decent money for the number of hours I worked.  I make about that at the diner now and I work a lot there and it is a lot harder than delivering papers in the middle of the night was.  When I lived in the city I found it was worth it enough to go back to doing it a few times over the years when my family needed the extra income.  They don't do newspaper delivery in my small town (mail is also not delivered, we pick it up at the post office), so I do other jobs, but really I worked 4.5 hours a day and made decent money imo for the kind of job it was.

 

[Cosmos]

RegentDude mentioned not tipping owners of businessess and I was brought up that way (in the USA), but I did tip the woman who cut my hair, after she opened her own shop, because I had tipped her, when she worked for someone else, and she took her time, cutting my hair, which I appreciated.

 

It's regentrude, Lanny. Pretty sure she's not a dude. ;)

 

I believe that it used to be the custom in the U.S. not to tip the owner of a salon. This was back in the mythic past when apparently everybody understood and followed all of these unspoken rules. But over time, the rule has relaxed, or we have all forgotten it or something.

 

I avoid the issue by rarely getting my hair cut. :blush:

 

Even as a native U.S. American, I find tipping culture confusing and foreign and always fear I'm doing it dreadfully wrong. I wish we could get rid of tipping altogether.

[Hoot]

I would prefer that the newspaper pay the carrier a little more and then stop encouraging them to solicit for tips.  If the price of the paper needs to be raised, do it. But stop paying less than a fair wage and encouraging carriers to beg. 

 

But I feel that way about MANY jobs, starting with the barista at Starbucks. 

 

Yes!  This, exactly this!

[Plateau Mama]

It's regentrude, Lanny. Pretty sure she's not a dude. ;)

 

I believe that it used to be the custom in the U.S. not to tip the owner of a salon. This was back in the mythic past when apparently everybody understood and followed all of these unspoken rules. But over time, the rule has relaxed, or we have all forgotten it or something.

 

I avoid the issue by rarely getting my hair cut. :blush:

 

Even as a native U.S. American, I find tipping culture confusing and foreign and always fear I'm doing it dreadfully wrong. I wish we could get rid of tipping altogether.

My hairdresser comes to my house. She is cheaper (by $5) than going to the salon. I pay her what I paid at the salon. I figured I'm saving on gas and finding someone to watch my kids, so I'm still saving money.

[elfgivas]

this has been an eye-opening thread! 

thanks to all who have contributed their experiences, expectations and hopes. 

 

i'll be thinking about this for a while.

ann

[Lisbeth]

The more the middle class especially, but even the rich, get squeezed from health care increases, tax increases, job losses from this economy, adult kids coming back home, college increases, etc, the less they will tip, and the less they will use services that require tips in the first place. They will give less to charities, and hunker at home. There will be more DIY. Wearing clothes longer, learning to repair shoes. Etc. Some out of necessity, some on principle. The effect magnifies, and the service job workers and poor suffer the most. 

[poppy]

The more the middle class especially, but even the rich, get squeezed from health care increases, tax increases, job losses from this economy, adult kids coming back home, college increases, etc, the less they will tip, and the less they will use services that require tips in the first place. They will give less to charities, and hunker at home. There will be more DIY. Wearing clothes longer, learning to repair shoes. Etc. Some out of necessity, some on principle. The effect magnifies, and the service job workers and poor suffer the most.

 

I agree with most of this, except I think you are not casting the blame net widely enough.

[Mama Geek]

Yep. Exactly the situation. I started the route when my mentally ill husband decided he would quit therapy and tried to use our financial situation as an excuse.

 

I needed to be able to say, "Here's the cash for your co-pay. You can't have that excuse." I kept at it longer than I originally intended, because, first, he was hospitalized for five days and I needed to pay the deductible, and then our roof started to leak, and I needed cash to pay for that.

 

I gave 30 days notice two weeks ago, specifically timing it so I could take advantage of the Christmas card/tip deal. I am counting down. I have 17 days to go. I quit, though, not because of the lousy pay (because I still need cash in hand), but because the lousy hours make sleep a rare deal, and my kids need one sane parent. I'm beginning to have some semi-psychotic moments due to lack of sleep.

 

I know one married couple there doing it to start the Dave Ramsey program, to get their emergency fund together.

Your first post didn't make it clear that you recognized that you really aren't making money, that you are really borrowing stuff from tomorrow to have cash today.  It really isn't a whole lot different from when my dh paid his first semester of grad school with a credit card.  It was a fairly big risk but has paid off in the long run.