Heartbreaking news in my area

[*Michelle*]

Last night, around 7 o'clock, a mother and her three children were befriended by an older man at a local store. Later that evening, he accompanied them to WalMart and offered to take the woman's 8 year-old daughter to the store McDonald's for a snack. He walked right out the door with her. They found her body this morning. The man is in custody. He's a repeat sex offender who was just released from prison last month.

 

http://jacksonville.com/news/crime/2013-06-22/story/charish-perriwinkle-found-dead-morning-loved-water-watching-disney

 

It's hard to understand.

[Mommy22alyns]

WHAT?!?!??! She let a random dude take her daughter out for a snack???? Very sad and incredibly disturbing on many levels.

[Word Nerd]

How awful. :(

[Lilaclady]

Oh my. This is so sad on so many levels. Oh why!!!!!!!!!!!

[Slartibartfast]

I cannot imagine.

[kwg]

That is awful.

[*Michelle*]

His arrest record goes back to 1977. He tried to lure a 13 year-old girl into his van and chased her when she ran. He tried to use pornographic magazines to lure two other girls into his van. The last time he was arrested, he was impersonating a Department of Children and Families worker, telling a girl's grandmother over the phone that she was a suspected victim of child abuse and she needed to drop her off at a local McDonald's so he could examine her.

[Slartibartfast]

His arrest record goes back to 1977. He tried to lure a 13 year-old girl into his van and chased her when she ran. He tried to use pornographic magazines to lure two other girls into his van. The last time he was arrested, he was impersonating a Department of Children and Families worker, telling a girl's grandmother over the phone that she was a suspected victim of child abuse and she needed to drop her off at a local McDonald's so he could examine her.

 

How was he not classified as a predator? That is shocking.

[PrincessMommy]

horrifying! So sad on so many levels.

[*Michelle*]

He was. He is a registered sex offender. He literally has only been out of prison for three weeks from his last arrest in 2009.

[unfrumpable.]

I moved from Jacksonville to Houston just over a year ago. I've seen a few of my old friends posting about this. Very, very sad.

 

And why the **** would the mother let her daughter go off with some stranger? She is just as much to blame as this sicko.

[SKL]

Why was he out of prison? I am sorry, I do not understand sympathy for people who would mess with children, and I don't understand why we give them multiple chances to do it again. :( Please don't say hurtful things about that poor mother. I'm sure she's said them all to herself already. Most people in this world are good and would fight to protect a child. She was unlucky enough to meet up with one of the extremely rare devils. Who should not have been on the streets in the first place IMO.

[unfrumpable.]

The mother should not have let her child go off with a stranger. Period. I would hope she is feeling pretty bad right now.

[Word Nerd]

Very sad. =(

 

If you have not read Protecting the Gift by Gavin de Becker, I recommend it.These guys follow a pattern, just like those who prey on the elderly and take all their money.

 

When I read that book, I remembered a time when I was shopping at Walmart and walked by a man who immediately set off my inner alarms. I couldn't even say why exactly he made me feel so creeped out, but I hustled out of that area to another part of the store. A few minutes later I saw him following at a distance and looking at my daughter. I spotted a military man and stayed near him until I checked out, and even though I lost the guy I stayed with a group when we left the store to go to our van.

 

It's too bad this mom didn't have that icky feeling about the killer. So sad.

[Slartibartfast]

He was. He is a registered sex offender. He literally has only been out of prison for three weeks from his last arrest in 2009.

 

Police said they made contact Friday morning with Donald James Smith, 56, who is a registered sex offender, at the home on Segovia Avenue, where he is registered. It was a routine address verification, according to Detective Mike Williams.

Smith lived about a half a mile from Dupont Middle School. Police said there was no restriction on him living that close to a school because he was a registered sexual offender, not sexual predator.

 

What is the distinction and why was he not classified as the latter?

[ktgrok]

The mother should not have let her child go off with a stranger. Period. I would hope she is feeling pretty bad right now.

 

I can't imagine that she isn't devestated, and do not understand wanting to heap more pain upon her than she already has. I do not feel it my place to judge another like that....perhaps she had no parenting role models, didn't understand the dangers, etc. She certainly didn't wish her daughter to end up like that, and I feel your comment is beyond unkind.

[SKL]

The mother should not have let her child go off with a stranger. Period. I would hope she is feeling pretty bad right now.

Wow, I hope nothing preventable ever happens to your child. And if it does, I hope people are kinder to you.

[*Michelle*]

http://www.sheriff.org/faqs/displayfaq.cfm?id=54934ef5-c69b-4771-9035-cd5d75b5554d

 

According to Florida statutes, a sexual offender is a person convicted of (or who has pled no contest or guilty to) a sex offense involving a minor and who is released on or after October 1, 1997 from the sanction (e.g., fine, incarceration, probation, etc.) imposed as a result of the offense. Offenses include, but aren’t limited to, child pornography, sexual performance by a child under 18 and procuring a person under 18 for purposes of prostitution. Consult the Florida statutes for a complete listing of offenses.

 

A predator designation requires that a person be convicted of a first-degree felony sex crime, or two second-degree felony sex crimes (with offenses, convictions or release from court sanctions occurring within 10 years) and which occurred after October 1, 1993. In addition, the court must issue a written order finding for predator status.

[Word Nerd]

The mother should not have let her child go off with a stranger. Period. I would hope she is feeling pretty bad right now.

 

:huh: How could anyone doubt that? It was a terrible, thoughtless decision on her part, but implying she might not even care that her daughter was murdered is ridiculous and cruel.

[unfrumpable.]

Wow, I hope nothing preventable ever happens to your child. And if it does, I hope people are kinder to you.

 

I don't let my son walk off with strangers. You may think that is unkind or mean that I am almost as upset with the mother as I am with the man who did this, but that is the way I feel. Would you let your child go off with a stranger in Walmart?

 

I won't even post what I think about this sick **** that did this.

[Guest submarines]

 

I can't imagine that she isn't devestated, and do not understand wanting to heap more pain upon her than she already has. I do not feel it my place to judge another like that....perhaps she had no parenting role models, didn't understand the dangers, etc. She certainly didn't wish her daughter to end up like that, and I feel your comment is beyond unkind.

 

:iagree:

 

Sexual predators can be extremely charismatic. Who knows what transpired between them. Blaming the mother at this situation isn't helping anyone.

[unfrumpable.]

:huh: How could anyone doubt that? It was a terrible, thoughtless decision on her part, but implying she might not even care that her daughter was murdered is ridiculous and cruel.

 

 

I did not imply she didn't care. I would have to assume she does, but I don't know either way.

[GinaPagnato]

The article says the man bought food and clothing items for the woman and her kids. So he buttered her up, and she, in her financial desperation, agreed to receive his unsolicited help. Then she felt she owed him enough trust and kindness to let him take her daughter into the McDonald's without her. Unbelievably sad. And yet, there are many other single moms who are financially strapped and they find a man who will pay the bills, while abusing their children. I'm sick for all these children and their moms.

[TracyP]

I don't think there is any need to say hurtful things, but GOOD LORD, SHE LET A STRANGER TAKE HER 8yo TO MCDONALDS! I'm sure she feels awful and I feel awful for her. But let's keep it real... she was completely negligent in what she did and there is no excuse for that. I imagine that poor girl didn't even think to cry for help as they walked out because her MOM had trusted him. UGH! This is horribly sad in so many ways. :(

[Joker]

I'm in the area too and it is heartbreaking. I am beyond tired of the comments everywhere bashing the mom, though. She must already feel terrible and for others to go out of their way to say how horrible she is and how she is also to blame is just too much.

[Mrs Mungo]

 

 

When I read that book, I remembered a time when I was shopping at Walmart and walked by a man who immediately set off my inner alarms. I couldn't even say why exactly he made me feel so creeped out, but I hustled out of that area to another part of the store. A few minutes later I saw him following at a distance and looking at my daughter. I spotted a military man and stayed near him until I checked out, and even though I lost the guy I stayed with a group when we left the store to go to our van.

 

It's too bad this mom didn't have that icky feeling about the killer. So sad.

 

 

My mom was once shopping at a mall on a Sunday afternoon when her inner alarm bells started going off. She tried to talk herself out of it, but couldn't and wound up leaving. A woman was kidnapped from the mall that day.

[*Michelle*]

It's disturbing. His neighbors say he was working as a painter. How many people's homes has he been in?

[SKL]

There are sick, evil people in the world, but I take comfort from the fact that child sex predators are very few and far between. In contrast, unfortunately there is no shortage of people who will kick folks when they are down - even a mother who is grieving her child's dying in the most horrific imaginable way. Each is sad and sick in its own way IMO.

[SKL]

It's important to remember that mothers who are poor and desperate and alone often have to make choices that never present themselves to the rest of us. I'm a single mom so I know how hard it can be to deal with the unexpected, but at least I've never been unable to pay for what my kids need.

[SarahW]

When I read that book, I remembered a time when I was shopping at Walmart and walked by a man who immediately set off my inner alarms. I couldn't even say why exactly he made me feel so creeped out, but I hustled out of that area to another part of the store. A few minutes later I saw him following at a distance and looking at my daughter. I spotted a military man and stayed near him until I checked out, and even though I lost the guy I stayed with a group when we left the store to go to our van.

 

It's too bad this mom didn't have that icky feeling about the killer. So sad.

 

 

Don't ever underestimate your sixth sense.

 

I had an interesting online discussion years ago with some people about the idea that women are conditioned to turn off their sixth sense, especially around men. The theory was that since women were more intuitive/sensitive they can see the foibles of men better, and men respond by denigrating this ability in women in order to protect themselves. The result is women who are completely open to being harmed by men (with the possible correlation that women developed a sharper sixth sense in the first place as an evolutionary means of self-protection to make up for them being physically weaker than men).

 

This is highly theoretical sociology, obviously. But I think there is an element of truth there. I know some rather independent ladies, and after meeting someone socially for a few hours they will say to me, "there's a problem with that guy" and I know for a fact that they are right (it's not an illegal problem, ftr, but a smile-through-your-teeth problem). Lots of men find them annoying. I try my best to encourage them, because hardly anyone does. And it's not something that's talked about with young women either, which leads to disasters like this one.

[Shahrazad]

The article says the man bought food and clothing items for the woman and her kids. So he buttered her up, and she, in her financial desperation, agreed to receive his unsolicited help. Then she felt she owed him enough trust and kindness to let him take her daughter into the McDonald's without her. Unbelievably sad. And yet, there are many other single moms who are financially strapped and they find a man who will pay the bills, while abusing their children. I'm sick for all these children and their moms.

 

 

^This. He clearly looked for someone who was vulnerable. A single mom with multiple children at Dollar General, perhaps he was listening to her talking to her kids and could tell she was in a rough financial place. Once she took him up on his offer to buy her children necessities at Wal-Mart, coming across as a older good samaritan, he basically had her trust and since he was shopping for them, the idea for her to then tell him, 'no, you can't take her with you to get the kids food from McDonalds' probably seemed rude.

 

Definitely not something I would've done but it really seemed like he knew he could manipulate her with the nice guy act and looked for that type of person to prey upon. I really think Wal-Mart is a weirdo haven. I had an experience there once and I could swear that guy was some sort of psycho....not just the look, smell, and general weirdness and some of the 'double-meaning' things he said, and his big ol serial killer van, but the items he was buying....WEIRD.

[Shahrazad]

 

Don't ever underestimate your sixth sense.

 

I had an interesting online discussion years ago with some people about the idea that women are conditioned to turn off their sixth sense, especially around men. The theory was that since women were more intuitive/sensitive they can see the foibles of men better, and men respond by denigrating this ability in women in order to protect themselves. The result is women who are completely open to being harmed by men (with the possible correlation that women developed a sharper sixth sense in the first place as an evolutionary means of self-protection to make up for them being physically weaker than men).

 

This is highly theoretical sociology, obviously. But I think there is an element of truth there. I know some rather independent ladies, and after meeting someone socially for a few hours they will say to me, "there's a problem with that guy" and I know for a fact that they are right (it's not an illegal problem, ftr, but a smile-through-your-teeth problem). Lots of men find them annoying. I try my best to encourage them, because hardly anyone does. And it's not something that's talked about with young women either, which leads to disasters like this one.

 

 

This actually makes plenty of sense to me. I'm one of those people who tend to read people well. My mother ALWAYS used to ask me about her boyfriends and after getting to know them a while, I'd give her the run down, my opinion of what seems wrong with them and why they are a bad choice. She would assure me that I was wrong about him, totally wrong and that she loved him. They'd end up breaking up because of the issues coming up later and she would tell me 'You were completely right, how did you know? How did you see that? I won't ever doubt you again.' till the next one and it would be lather, rinse, repeat LOL.

[SKL]

This actually makes plenty of sense to me. I'm one of those people who tend to read people well. My mother ALWAYS used to ask me about her boyfriends and after getting to know them a while, I'd give her the run down, my opinion of what seems wrong with them and why they are a bad choice. She would assure me that I was wrong about him, totally wrong and that she loved him. They'd end up breaking up because of the issues coming up later and she would tell me 'You were completely right, how did you know? How did you see that? I won't ever doubt you again.' till the next one and it would be lather, rinse, repeat LOL.

 

I have a business partner like that. She's a poster child for "you sure know how to pick 'em." When I warn her, she thinks I'm just a mean, negative person (even though I am positive on lots of people she works with). And I just sit back and watch the show, because inevitably within about a year - sometimes less - there is a big fallout over the very things I warned about. Does she learn to trust my gut - or develop one of her own? Nope.

[sassenach]

The mother should not have let her child go off with a stranger. Period. I would hope she is feeling pretty bad right now.

 

 

You would hope? I think that is pretty much guaranteed.

[unsinkable]

Oh, that poor little girl.

 

I have no words.

[Orthodox6]

Nightmare on all levels.

 

I'm unable to understand why it happened. The more desperate I become in a situation, the more protective of my children I become. Thus this scenario outright "does not compute" for me.

 

Lord have mercy on the soul of the innocent child, and Lord have mercy on the distraught, suffering mother! Grant that someone may step forward to provide her with counseling support as she struggles to deal with the aftermath.

 

P.S. I just looked this up on news websites. The McDonalds was one of those "in store" units. That gives me a micrometer (but no more than that) of understanding why the already deceived mother may have thought it would be ok.

Edited June 22, 2013 by Orthodox6

[unfrumpable.]

You would hope? I think that is pretty much guaranteed.

 

 

Unfortunately, mothers and fathers do abuse and murder their own children without feeling badly about it. Yes, I would hope, but no, it is not a guarantee.

 

I'll admit my first few posts were harsh. I was livid when I read about this and what the mother did. A couple of my friends that still live in that area are thinking there may be something fishy going on about the mother. Some articles say this man bought her stuff, other articles just say he offered.

 

We obviously only have part of this story. No one is fully to blame for this crime except for the man who did it. I can't think of any nice way to say that the mother appears to have been negligent and, perhaps, not very smart. I dunno. Maybe it will come out that she wasn't involved at all. My sympathies lie with this young girl who had a tragic end for no good reason. I can't even think about what this man did before he killed her without wanting to throat punch him. And that is being mild.

[Angie in VA]

If you have not read Protecting the Gift by Gavin de Becker, I recommend it.These guys follow a pattern, just like those who prey on the elderly and take all their money.

 

 

This. He wrote The Gift of Fear first. I also like Child Lures by Kenneth Wooden.

[SKL]

Today I was in the AT&T phone store, and a mom was in there with a daughter who looked about 6. The mom was stuck on the phone with some remote service guy who was talking her through something. The little girl needed the restroom. Mom sent daughter to the back room with a male service rep so he could show her the restroom. I don't think the mom did anything wrong. ... Of course in the abduction case, I wasn't there and there's always the possibility that she was not a caring mom, but I could definitely see sending an 8yo to the McD's counter in a WalMart. I send my 6yos to fast food counters etc. in some situations. And the mom did call 911 fairly soon after the guy walked off with her daughter, thus making it rather unlikely that she was prostituting the child (which unfortunately does happen :( ).What I don't understand is how that guy was able to avoid both mom's and daughter's creep meters. Who knows what all he told them to make them think he was really a nice guy? Whatever, I really wish someone would chop his stuff off the next time he goes to prison. And as far as I'm concerned, he never needs to see the light of day again.

[unfrumpable.]

Today I was in the AT&T phone store, and a mom was in there with a daughter who looked about 6. The mom was stuck on the phone with some remote service guy who was talking her through something. The little girl needed the restroom. Mom sent daughter to the back room with a male service rep so he could show her the restroom. I don't think the mom did anything wrong. ... Of course in the abduction case, I wasn't there and there's always the possibility that she was not a caring mom, but I could definitely see sending an 8yo to the McD's counter in a WalMart. I send my 6yos to fast food counters etc. in some situations. And the mom did call 911 fairly soon after the guy walked off with her daughter, thus making it rather unlikely that she was prostituting the child (which unfortunately does happen :( ).What I don't understand is how that guy was able to avoid both mom's and daughter's creep meters. Who knows what all he told them to make them think he was really a nice guy? Whatever, I really wish someone would chop his stuff off the next time he goes to prison. And as far as I'm concerned, he never needs to see the light of day again.

 

 

 

The thought of someone prostituting their child out makes me want to throw up.

 

Was the mom within sight of the McDs though? I thought they were still out shopping. I let my son go to the counter too, as long as I can see what he is doing. I let him use the mens bathroom as long as I am right outside the door waiting for him, not we both go into separate bathrooms. The Att store (I assume from the one's I've been in) is a smaller store where the mom should have been able to see both the bathrooms and the front door from where she was standing. I don't think I am overly protective, but I am protective and it is because of stuff like this.

[*Michelle*]

Florida has the death penalty, something I struggle with especially in cases like this. I think he should be sentenced to life with no chance of parole. I think most sex offenders, especially those who prey on children, should be sentenced to life with no chance of parole. There is something fundamentally wrong with people who are attracted to prepubescent children.

[MomtoCandJ]

:( that's all

[TracyP]

What I don't understand is how that guy was able to avoid both mom's and daughter's creep meters. Who knows what all he told them to make them think he was really a nice guy? Whatever, I really wish someone would chop his stuff off the next time he goes to prison. And as far as I'm concerned, he never needs to see the light of day again.

This. The bolded is what makes me angry. By the time they were walking off, I bet this guy was on the daughter's creep meter. But her mom had (presumably) told her to go, had said she could trust him. She was probably struggling with whether she should stop and yell/say something or trust this man. Her mother left her in the care of this man.

 

Of course, this is this pervert's fault. But it didn't have to happen. I'm heartbroken and hate to think of what that little girl went through.

[SKL]

 

The Att store (I assume from the one's I've been in) is a smaller store where the mom should have been able to see both the bathrooms and the front door from where she was standing.

No, the bathroom was back in the employee-only section which was separated from the storefront by a closed door. I guess the mom trusted her creep-meter and all was fine. As it usually is. Fact is, there is always going to be some risk, but we can't stop living. Not long ago there was a 10yo girl who was with her mom, and a creep murdered the mom in order to abduct the girl. We aren't even completely safe at home - little Dylan Groene wasn't. :( Demonizing the mom just isn't right. Moms can't prevent all harm from befalling their kids, as much as we'd like to.

[swellmomma]

I feel horribly for the mother. Clearly she put her trust in the wrong person, but the alternative is to never trust anyone. The fact is most mothers have left their children with virtual strangers all the time. You don't know the daycare worker, teacher, babysitter etc when you first meet them beyond their actions, smile and the vibe you get from them. This guy clearly has charisma and knows how to read people better than the mother did. Would it be a choice I made? No. But I can see how she played right into her hands. I do not think she needs anyone else to blame her, she will forever blame herself. I can see how she thought this was just a nice grampa type man. I have had complete strangers step up and help me out. And I can see how she likely felt it was safe, the man had already spent a good chunk of the day with the family, bought them things they needed, McD's was likely a rare treat and it was right there in the store. She likely felt she would be rude to him, her dd would think she was mean, and that everything would be just fine because it is right there in the store. What a horrific ending to what she likely first considered a huge blessing of a day. May that little girl rest in peace, and her mother find enough peace one day to not be closed off from trusting others again. And may that monster get gangrene in his junk and die a slow painful death

[Shahrazad]

And may that monster get gangrene in his junk and die a slow painful death

 

Amen to that!

[gardenmom5]

This is highly theoretical sociology, obviously. But I think there is an element of truth there. I know some rather independent ladies, and after meeting someone socially for a few hours they will say to me, "there's a problem with that guy" and I know for a fact that they are right (it's not an illegal problem, ftr, but a smile-through-your-teeth problem). Lots of men find them annoying. I try my best to encourage them, because hardly anyone does. And it's not something that's talked about with young women either, which leads to disasters like this one.

 

I recall having a very innocuous discussion with a man who had just married a woman of my acquaintence. I hardly knew him. we were discussing sheep of all things. I knew he was trying to con me - couldn't understand why I felt that - we were only discussing sheep - but I *KNEW* he was not to be trusted. three months later his wife got a phone call that he had been arrested for fraud. (he was convicted)

 

however, I think both men and woman have a "sixth sense". I also believe the more we pay attention to it, the more it will help us.

 

some women do very stupid things because they don't want to be alone. I won't go into the things my mother did, but as I've gotten older, and my children are now adults, my opinions of the positions into the middle of which she placed her children are even more unbending.

 

I've also had the "this guy is a dud, dump him" talk with her. I could even walk her through everything, she could see it, she agreed with it and then . . .. "but I love him". (but he doesn't give a flying fig about you as anything but a . . . )

[ktgrok]

As to why he didn't set off the creep o meter, from what I understand this family led a pretty awful, desperate life and there may not have been enough "good" people in their lives to give a measuring stick against which to measure the "bad" people. You know a creep because you know they are different somehow from good people. If you have been surrounded by various shades of loser that may be harder to discern. Just a thought.

 

prayers to that poor woman and her children.

[DawnM]

That poor family. I watched the broadcast of the announcement earlier today.

[trulycrabby]

Absolutely heartbreaking. :(