texasmama Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 If this happened, I would email the parents directly and simply tell them what had happened. If I were these parents, I would be embarrassed that someone I didn't even know had paid not an insignificant amount of money due to what I would consider an oversight on my part of not making sure my dd's baggage was paid for or under the limit. I would repay the other parents right away. I think it confounds the issue to just let it go because at some point, it is not inconceivable that the girl will mention how nice you were to pay the $75 charge, and some time may have passed, making this situation more awkward. If I had bought the girl a $10 lunch, I would not expect that to be repaid, but $75 is significant in most people's books. I don't mind being direct, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amira Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 I think nearly everyone in this situation has made reasonable choices and assumptions. I think it's fine for the op to have driven the girl to the airport, and for the girl to have assumed the op was paying for the fee, not loaning the money. Adults are supposed to help kids out in a pinch. If I had been the adult, I'd likely not have been clear enough either and would have learned a lesson. But the parents should have made sure their daughter had more than $40 on her when she flew. Maybe they had a reason for not wanting to add more to her debit card, but there is no.way. I'd put my child on a plane with just forty electronic dollars and no cash. We've flown often and know there are way too many things that can come up. If the girl was supposed to have more money than that and didn't, the parents need to know. If they thought forty dollars on a debit card was fine, then they need to know it isn't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 You said you have a directory with contract information for the parents? If it hasn't been too long, I would drop a casual email to the parents "Hi, I just wanted to check if your daughter remembered to mention the $75 I covered for her oversize luggage when I dropped her at the airport. I hope you all have a fun summer!" and see what happens. I think most parents would want to cover something like this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Really? You'd let someone you hardly know pay your expenses? I wouldn't actually let them do it, but that wording might make me think that's what they intended. And, while my kids would definitely view $75 as a lot of money and a big deal, I'm sure not all teens would. I think most of us are just saying that, with that wording, it's not that weird for a young person to not think about it beyond being really happy and grateful at the time, especially because she was flustered and about to step on a plane. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 As an adult if you told me, "I'll take care of that," I would NOT think that it was a loan. That phrase to me indicates, "I'm paying for it. Don't worry about it." If you wanted me to pay you back you would say something like, "You can pay me back when you get home. I don't mind helping out." :iagree: Only as an adult I would've said, "Oh no, I'll pay your later", if someone was trying to loan me $75. A 15 year old might not realize that $75 is a lot of money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 If I were the parent of the girl, I would want to know. Inevitably, it would come up in conversation years later and I'd be mortified that I never knew or paid you back. A call just letting them know that they underestimated the luggage fees would be considerate so this girl doesn't end up in that position when you're not around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 I wouldn't worry about what the child thought, I would contact her parents or have the person that was in charge of the whole trip contact them. Next time I would have the traveler call her parents from the airport. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Really? You'd let someone you hardly know pay your expenses? I can understand having a relative step in and help, or even a best friend, but we hardly know this family. I kind of have faith the family will pay back the favor in one way or another. I don't think they're the type to shun responsibility. I don't want to jeopardize this friendship between our girls -- they texted each other all day yesterday, and they're so sweet together. As an adult, I would have taken the comment as offering a gift but would not have accepted it as one. As a 15 yo, I don't know that I would think twice about it. I've used the same phrase and taken care of many of my kids' friends expenses that have totaled as much or more. (The kids are close friends, but the families are not.) In some instances, the parents have offered to reimburse me (if kid didn't have the money at the time) for covering when the child said something to them. To me, "I'll take care of that" means that you are taking care of the situation for me. Her very enthusiastic response thank you, to me, indicates that this is what she understood it to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngieC Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 If that were my daughter, I would want to know. That said, if you decide not to say anything to the parents, they might figure it out when she flies back to school and they have to pay the fee then. Hopefully, she will let them know that you paid the fee on her flight home at that time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippen Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 I think nearly everyone in this situation has made reasonable choices and assumptions. I think it's fine for the op to have driven the girl to the airport, and for the girl to have assumed the op was paying for the fee, not loaning the money. Adults are supposed to help kids out in a pinch. If I had been the adult, I'd likely not have been clear enough either and would have learned a lesson. But the parents should have made sure their daughter had more than $40 on her when she flew. Maybe they had a reason for not wanting to add more to her debit card, but there is no.way. I'd put my child on a plane with just forty electronic dollars and no cash. We've flown often and know there are way too many things that can come up. If the girl was supposed to have more money than that and didn't, the parents need to know. If they thought forty dollars on a debit card was fine, then they need to know it isn't. I agree most parents--especially those accustomed to a child flying alone--would have made sure she had some surplus funds just in case. It's quite possible that the girl was supposed to have had more than $40 on her debit card for the trip home and didn't leave herself enough to make it home on. Either way, as a parent whose child will be making the trip again, I would want to be informed and be given the chance to pay you back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelli Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Really? You'd let someone you hardly know pay your expenses? I can understand having a relative step in and help, or even a best friend, but we hardly know this family. I kind of have faith the family will pay back the favor in one way or another. I don't think they're the type to shun responsibility. I don't want to jeopardize this friendship between our girls -- they texted each other all day yesterday, and they're so sweet together. I would still ask for reimbursement from the parents. The parents probably don't even know there were any expenses. I was only addressing the fact that your phrasing does not clearly indicate that you expected to be paid back. It sounded like a gift, which is why the girl was so profuse in her thanks and why her parents probably don't know anything about it. She didn't mention it to them because she thought it was a gift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Personally I would have never at any age thought that anyone (other than my mother) would give me $75. But than I have always known that $75 is a lot of money, maybe she doesn't. Or maybe she just plans to pay you back next time she sees you. As a general rule I would say you accept hospitality from a friends parents not travel costs. But why did you pay the whole amount instead of the difference between the cost and what she had on the debit card? That makes no difference I just wondered. My guess why she covered the whole $75? She wanted to make sure the child still had travelling money in case she got caught in another problem for the end. If I was taking a kid to the airport and discovered they had no money, I'd scrounge $20 out of my purse if necessary to make sure they had SOMETHING. It's just dangerous to travel without any money at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 You said you have a directory with contract information for the parents? If it hasn't been too long, I would drop a casual email to the parents "Hi, I just wanted to check if your daughter remembered to mention the $75 I covered for her oversize luggage when I dropped her at the airport. I hope you all have a fun summer!" and see what happens. I think most parents would want to cover something like this. :iagree: Absolutely. I would personally die of embarrassment if this were my kid and I found out later some other parent covered $75 for them without telling me. If you can drop a casual e-mail, it's in their hands. I wouldn't stalk them for the money, but I would certainly let them know what happened in some way so they'll know for next time and have an opportunity to repay you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 As are a few others, I am surprised that you would have been driving this child to the airport. Info is absent, so I don't know if one of her parents (a) directly or indirectly asked you to do this for whatever reason, ( b ) did not know who was driving the child, ( c ) has any idea of who you are in the first place. (All three are odd scenarios for me, I admit.) You said that you are not acquainted, but they may or may not have heard of you. Also as others have noted, the phrase, "I'll take care of that" means, nowadays, that you offered to absorb the cost without any thought of repayment. The girl displayed gratitude, which is right. She did not, however, display common sense and assure you that she would have her parents reimburse you. Immature at worst, out-to-lunch at best. I would call the parents directly. If the girl no longer has the receipt, and/or denies the event, you are "stuck." If she corroborates your account, then one hopes the parents will reimburse you without hesitating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 If I were the parent of the girl, I would want to know. Inevitably, it would come up in conversation years later and I'd be mortified that I never knew or paid you back. A call just letting them know that they underestimated the luggage fees would be considerate so this girl doesn't end up in that position when you're not around. This is how I feel about it. There is a greater issue at stake than just this particular money. If the young lady attends a boarding school and therefore, flies a lot, then there is a risk if she is chronically underfunded. So many things can go wrong when one flies, extended delays, sitting around an airport buying expensive fast food, unexpected fees, etc. The child may have overspent her budget thus only $40.00 on her debit card. If that is the case, the parents need to be aware so they can counsel her about that or only put additional funds in her debit card account before her flight. If the parents grossly underestimated how much the fees were, then they need to know that so they don't make the same mistake again. I wouldn't count on the 15 year old to relate the story because she is likely to be very excited to see mom and dad and the "catching up" part of the conversation may stretch out enough that she just honestly forgets to say, "By the way, I didn't have enough money to pay for my bag." Whether or not I was paid back would be a far less important issue than letting the parents know that their teen was underfunded for travel. If she had arrived at the airport with a family that could not have afforded to pay the fees - the morning of dd's wedding, I only had $95.00 left in my checkbook and would not have been able to do something like that since DTW is a 3 hr. drive from the bank with my savings account - she would have had to leave her luggage behind. If the bag weighed 50-60 lbs. and had to go cross country, the UPS or FedEx bill would not have been pretty either and without funds, that family would have to hold the bag until they received money from the parents or had it personally to give. Either way, it's awkward and not the best situation for the girl to have so little emergency money when that far from home. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten18 Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Did her parents pick her up at the airport? I would have thought they would notice that her bag weighed 70lbs. and questioned her about it. I'm imagining my questioning going something like: "This bag is heavy, wasn't it over the weight limit?" "Didn't you have to pay extra?" "Somebody else had to pay for your bag?" :001_huh: Then making arrangements to repay the other parent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca VA Posted June 5, 2013 Author Share Posted June 5, 2013 I volunteered to take her. The school was running busses up to the airport that day, but I didn't want her to have to take a bus when we could so easily take her and spend a few extra hours with her before the girls were parted for the summer. The parents know about the girls' friendship, and they know we live close by, so I'm sure they were perfectly fine with our taking her. At one point in the car she called her dad to tell him she had left our house and was on the way to the airport. She mentioned about the $40 in her debit account to him. From what I heard of the conversation, and what she has told me, the parents strongly encourage their children to be as self-sufficient as possible. (And the kids are turning out extremely well, in my opinion.) Maybe in this case he was a little too hands-off, but in no way do the parents seem uncaring or uninvolved. If I had met the parents even *one* time and had any relationship with them, I might mention about the money to them, but I don't feel I can do it in this situation. Again, I think they will reciprocate in some fashion down the road. The girl told me a story one time about how her parents sent the admissions office at the school a professionally-baked cake as a thank-you after she was accepted. (The mom is a chef, with her own restaurant.) So they're not habitual moochers or anything. I'd love it if they'd send me a cake!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 I've read through the thread, and still think the parents should be contacted for repayment. They need to know $40 isn't enough money for their dd next time, and ultimately parents are responsible for their children. Now as a parent, I would expect my kid to tell me too. And I would never expect another parent to pick up a big $tab like that and just eat the cost. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Kate Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 I've read through the thread, and still think the parents should be contacted for repayment. They need to know $40 isn't enough money for their dd next time, and ultimately parents are responsible for their children. Now as a parent, I would expect my kid to tell me too. And I would never expect another parent to pick up a big $tab like that and just eat the cost. This is a good point. I think I would try to find a way to tell the parents - not for repayment necessarily, but instead so the daughter is better prepared in the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aspasia Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 I'd bet the girl thinks you offered to pay for it, which is why she thanked you profusely. Yep, unless you said, "No problem, you or your parents can just pay me back later", I don't think there would be any reason for her to assume it was a loan (I mean, as an adult, *I* would assume it was a loan, but a 15-year-old? I don't know). At this point, I would maybe ask your dd for the girl's cell number so you can just send her a casual little "reminder" text. That way, she won't be face to face with you, possibly feeling awkward. She can process the possible surprise that it was a loan, not a gift, and then she can approach her parents about it. Painless for everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Honestly, if you hadn't been there, the situation would have probably been handled with kindness by the airline. The girl would have said something to the effect of, "But I don't have $75. Do I have to take some things out? What should I do with them? I'm just here alone." And, if there was no adult in evidence, the personnel would have said something to the effect of, "Well, OK just this once. Next time, weigh your bag or plan to pay the, young lady." (Or, "We'll attach the charge to your ticket number, and your parents can make the extra payment when they pick you up. You won't be able to get your bag until it's paid." Or something similar. People help kids. It's not just you... others would have done something other than letting her stand there too.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara in Colo Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 I guess (after reading these great posts) I would email the parents, explain that the child was underfunded, how you made up the difference, and how you are glad that it was you that took her to the airport and COULD help her, but in the future, she needs more money for all the unexpected things that come up. Explain that as a parent you realize that children don't always explain what goes on in detail and that their child may have left this out. That as a parent you would want to know that your child was sent off into the world unprepared. Oh and don't sound as preachy as I just did!! LOL. Lara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Honestly, if you hadn't been there, the situation would have probably been handled with kindness by the airline. The girl would have said something to the effect of, "But I don't have $75. Do I have to take some things out? What should I do with them? I'm just here alone." And, if there was no adult in evidence, the personnel would have said something to the effect of, "Well, OK just this once. Next time, weigh your bag or plan to pay the, young lady." (Or, "We'll attach the charge to your ticket number, and your parents can make the extra payment when they pick you up. You won't be able to get your bag until it's paid." Or something similar. People help kids. It's not just you... others would have done something other than letting her stand there too.) really? She was meeting a school group at the airport. Some adult in the was going to end up being on the hook for the cash. I have never heard of "just this once". Your bag is overweight, you pay. everytime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 I am surprised so many of you think it is reasonable for a 15 year old to believe she would not have to reimburse $75. $20 maybe, but $75? Do you regularly cover expenses over $50 for friends of kids. If that happens, I guess a kid could get the impression that she didn't have to pay back. My child would have called from the airport upset that she was not prepared. She would have told me who helped her and how I could track the person down. Isn't teaching your child to be independent also include teaching them to be responsible. My dd would recognize that she was responsible for the $75. We don't run in circles where adults freely hand over large amounts of money to cover the shortfalls of other peoples children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunnyDays Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 I'd also not ask for reimbursement at this point... Yes it's a lot of money, but Rebecca you're right that it will probably even out in the end. I would, however, mention either to the teen or her parents that they probably want to double check the weight and have extra money in the traveling account next time, merely out of concern for her welfare. They sound like a lovely family, and I'm all for self sufficiency in teens where practical, but these make good guiding and learning moments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lanny Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Ask the girl or her parents to repay the money you paid to send her overweight luggage. The worst case on that is that you are out the money and your daughter has one less friend. The strange thing about this is why you took her to the airport, and, apparently went to the ticket counter with her. Her parents should have taken her to the airport, or, arranged with you directly. And, if you had just dropped her and her luggage off at the curb and gone on your way, what would she have done, since she didn't have the $ to pay the airline for the hugely overweight luggage? Consider yourself very lucky that nothing bad happened... GL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beaners Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 I am surprised so many of you think it is reasonable for a 15 year old to believe she would not have to reimburse $75. $20 maybe, but $75? Do you regularly cover expenses over $50 for friends of kids. If that happens, I guess a kid could get the impression that she didn't have to pay back. My child would have called from the airport upset that she was not prepared. She would have told me who helped her and how I could track the person down. Isn't teaching your child to be independent also include teaching them to be responsible. My dd would recognize that she was responsible for the $75. We don't run in circles where adults freely hand over large amounts of money to cover the shortfalls of other peoples children. Eh. The OP made a point of saying she *thinks* the girl heard the charge and took the receipt. She wasn't even sure the girl knew how much it was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 The strange thing about this is why you took her to the airport, and, apparently went to the ticket counter with her. Her parents should have taken her to the airport, or, arranged with you directly. And, if you had just dropped her and her luggage off at the curb and gone on your way, what would she have done, since she didn't have the $ to pay the airline for the hugely overweight luggage? Consider yourself very lucky that nothing bad happened... GL The girls was at boarding school. Her parents lived nowhere nearby. She was flying home. My dh attended boarding school for high school. Some of the students were from other countries. I don't really get why people are so surprised about this. It is not that unusual in my circles. Most of our friends are military. Some have kids at boarding school or in college. They bring home friends (boyfriends and girlfriends even) for Christmas that their parents have never met. It just doesn't seem that crazy to me to drive a teenager to the airport. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Ask the girl or her parents to repay the money you paid to send her overweight luggage. The worst case on that is that you are out the money and your daughter has one less friend. The strange thing about this is why you took her to the airport, and, apparently went to the ticket counter with her. Her parents should have taken her to the airport, or, arranged with you directly. And, if you had just dropped her and her luggage off at the curb and gone on your way, what would she have done, since she didn't have the $ to pay the airline for the hugely overweight luggage? Consider yourself very lucky that nothing bad happened... GL Are you being sarcastic? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted June 6, 2013 Share Posted June 6, 2013 really? She was meeting a school group at the airport. Some adult in the was going to end up being on the hook for the cash. I have never heard of "just this once". Your bag is overweight, you pay. everytime. If there was a "group" or an adult, yes, they would have insisted on payment. If there was *only* a teenage girl with an overweight bag and tears in her eyes wondering which of her belongings she was going to unpack and throw in the trash before her flight... Chances are (in my opinion) that exceptions can be made. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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