Should I encourage/push right-handedness?

[Angiegal]

My first 3 children have automatically favored their right hands. My daughter, who is 2 1/2, now will do everything with her left - drawing, cutting and eating. I occasionally encourage her to try the right, but she will quickly switch back. Should I just let it go, or continue to encourage her to use her right hand?

 

This is probably a silly question, but I appreciate any input you all have.

 

Thanks!

[Mergath]

Let her use her preferred hand.

[unfrumpable.]

Well, as a lefty, I don't see any reason to encourage someone to use their other hand. If a person has a natural inclination towards one hand or the other, why try to switch them up? I thought the nuns stopped doing that 50+ years ago.

[Rosie_0801]

Don't make work if there is no good reason. There's enough work to do already. :p

[PeterPan]

Just give it time. At that age my ds was still mixed, going back and forth between left and right. Now, at age 4, it's settling down more toward right. I was told the only concern was indeterminate dominance. If she turns out to be lefty, it's not a problem. If she's flipping back and forth, you try to determine the dominance (our dev. optometrist did it for us) and nudge that way. But at least with ds it wasn't clear at that age. He still sometimes does things with his left.

[MeganW]

My kids have been in OT since birth. Two didn't have a natural preference. The OTs gave them plenty of time to decide, but when they hadn't picked one at age 5, the OTs went ahead and picked for them.

[PeterPan]

My kids have been in OT since birth. Two didn't have a natural preference. The OTs gave them plenty of time to decide, but when they hadn't picked one at age 5, the OTs went ahead and picked for them.

 

Ok, now you're killing me. Are the ones who didn't express dominance also the ones with apraxia? Just curious. And no, I don't remember dd being indeterminant at all. Ds went back and forth enough we really wondered. He just used his left for something yesterday in fact. But at this point there's enough indication the *more* dominant side is right, we're redirecting him that way. It is curious though.

[Farrar]

This question came up another time on the boards and I was just as surprised. Surely people know in this day and age that trying to change handedness doesn't really work? If someone is really left-handed, you're just giving them hardships that they have no reason to have to endure. Why would anyone do that to their child? I get that being right-handed makes life a little easier - the world is designed for righties. But this would be like punishing a child for having blond hair. The kid can't just change it.

[Loowit]

My DD is a lefty. I never tried to sway her either way. She is just naturally left handed. My dad growing up way back when was forced to use his right hand in school for everything. They tied his left hand to his desk if he tried to use it. It was not a good thing. He learned to use his right hand for writing and such, but it was never natural for him.

[Ravin]

Now I'm wondering why not being determinately one or the other is bad? I'm mostly right handed, but taught myself to write left handed in my late teens/early twenties and I've always brushed my teeth with my left hand and am equally inept at things like batting a ball with either hand--that likely has more to do with being very right-dominant in my visual processing because of a slightly crossed left eye that's left me without depth perception ("functionally monocular", except I have peripheral vision on the left).

[J9Mommy]

Well, as a lefty, I don't see any reason to encourage someone to use their other hand. If a person has a natural inclination towards one hand or the other, why try to switch them up? I thought the nuns stopped doing that 50+ years ago.

I have actually encountered left handed-ism. LOL. I am only 30, but was forced to cut with my right hand in school. Let me tell you, that messed up my cutting skills for life. Later I mispronounced the word island and the substitute teacher told me it was because I was 'left handed.' My grandfather also had his left arm tied behind his back as a child. It's crazy to think people are that afraid of a person being left handed ! I think it's awesome being left handed. I like to quote that joke about left handed people being the only ones in their 'right' mind. Haha. To the OP, I would just let your daughter use the hand she wants. Why force her to be something she is not ? ! P.S. I also have a left handed twin, who is equally as awesome :D

[GoVanGogh]

Now I'm wondering why not being determinately one or the other is bad? I'm mostly right handed, but taught myself to write left handed in my late teens/early twenties and I've always brushed my teeth with my left hand and am equally inept at things like batting a ball with either hand--that likely has more to do with being very right-dominant in my visual processing because of a slightly crossed left eye that's left me without depth perception ("functionally monocular", except I have peripheral vision on the left).

It can be a sign of midline brain issues and cause learning differences.

 

[Starr]

I can't imagine trying to switch a predominately left hand. Ds used both hands and switched back and forth. In the end, he's right handed but uses his left hand more than most people. I could not have made him left handed even if I had tried. At 7 I asked why he was doing his math with his left hand. He said, "oh, that's why I'm having trouble." He hadn't even noticed. lol it was too funny.

[Freckles]

I'm a lefty. DD14 is a lefty as well. I've adjusted to living in a right handed world, but coffee mugs with pics/words get me every time.

[Paige]

My kids have been in OT since birth. Two didn't have a natural preference. The OTs gave them plenty of time to decide, but when they hadn't picked one at age 5, the OTs went ahead and picked for them.

 

I think 5 is still young to force a hand preference. My DS's kindergarten teacher did that and really messed him up. He was still using both hands at the time but his PreK teacher and I thought he leaned towards his left hand. The K teacher told him he wasn't allowed to use his left in her room. She didn't tell me or we would have had a talk. He still struggles with writing and has expressed a desire to switch back to his left but it is hard because it is out of practice. He's 11 and does most other things left handed now.

 

We were told by the doctor that most kids will have an established hand dominance by 5/6 but it is still normal for some kids to switch back and forth until they are 8 or 9. And, of course, some people are naturally ambidextrous. My father will write with either hand and he is perfectly normal.

[WildLotus]

I am both handed and was trained to write with the right so it has more fine motor coordination. Its my sewing hand. I do most things like work a saw or ratchet with the left. I can throw a ball equally good with both hands. Hubby is pure lefty but can still do lots with his right hand. When we switch computers we switch mouse hands. I am using the left and he the right without problems. My oldest picked her hand, right, and has not wavered since. Woogie the youngest goes back and forth but seems to have most control and favors the left. My brother was very lefty and was forced to use his right and hes handwriting and fine motor coordination is horrible.

[Laura in STL]

My kids have been in OT since birth. Two didn't have a natural preference. The OTs gave them plenty of time to decide, but when they hadn't picked one at age 5, the OTs went ahead and picked for them.

 

I have to wonder what the best age to wait until is? I suppose 5 was due to learning to write, but I was a similar case and am fairly certain that they picked incorrectly. When I still switched hands in K, my right hand was chosen for me. I was always told to use it or redirected. Now, whenever I learn a new skill I learn it left-handed. This is true for both fine motor and gross motor skills. My grandfather and some of my first cousins are lefties as well as my daughter, and no one in my dh's family is a lefty. My only complaint is that neat handwriting always was a struggle for me. I don't really have a particular handwriting, actually. I have several styles that I use, but none of them are very pretty.

[Angiegal]

Thanks for the input. I'm sorry if I shocked any of you. I had heard of teachers encouraging the right hand before, but wasn't sure if that was correct to do. I thought not, but as I have no formal training in early education, I decided to ask. BTW, I would have never considered strapping down the left hand or any other extreme measures. We'll just wait and see what she decides.

[zoobie]

My husband (a lefty) was sad our DS is a righty because he had dreams of raising a left-handed baseball pitcher. He half-joked about tying his right hand behind his back... ;) My husband wishes that someone had encouraged him to learn to cut right handed because left handed scissors stink and aren't always readily available. He can do many things right-handed, but scissors baffle him.

[twoxcell]

Should I just let it go, or continue to encourage her to use her right hand?

You should let her use whatever hand she feels comfortable using. Do not force her to switch. Speaking as a wife and mother of a leftie. ;) There is nothing wrong with being left handed.

[Koerarmoca]

Dd14 is a lefty and the only hardship she has had is using can openers and one of these days I will buy her a lefty can opener. My older brother (he is 35) was going to be a lefty but my parents/school used to force him to use his right hand. He can use both now and was an amazing lefty batter...funny his batting didn't bother my parents but heaven forbid he write with his left hand lol.

 

My parents where not mean or abusive by any stretch they followed the advice of our family doctor and the school we attended. I do believe they tied his hand or tapped it up.

[Butter]

My dad was a lefty who was forced to switch. My MIL is one of 4 (out of 6) lefties. Her parents were both righties, but were so adamant that their daughters be allowed to remain lefties that we wonder if they were lefties forced to be righties. My MIL says the only problem is scissors. Everything else is no big deal. Our third is a lefty and will always be a lefty. Same with my brother's third. Since it is normal for a certain percentage of the people to favor their left hand I can't think of a good reason to mess with them.

 

Amusingly, a guy at church is a lefty and in high school he had a teacher who was a lefty and he said since lefties have a harder time and always have pencil smeared on their hands, they deserved breaks. All lefties got to sit in the best seats in the front row and got bonus points on tests for answering questions like "which hand do you write with."

[mathmarm]

Please don't try and alter the kids nature and instincts. Most of my family are Lefties and everyone has stories of how stupid various experiences in K-3 were because of teacher doing stupid and unnecessary things like insisting on using the right hand. (Uhm...why? You only know I'm writing with my left hand because you are watching me, the finished product can't be picked out of a line-up or anything.)

 

For what its worth, I am ambidextrious and didn't have any trouble confirming when asked to use my right hand but it still bothered me when Ms. 1st grade and Mrs. 2nd grade teacher made such a big deal about it.

[stripe]

My husband (a lefty) was sad our DS is a righty because he had dreams of raising a left-handed baseball pitcher. He half-joked about tying his right hand behind his back... ;) My husband wishes that someone had encouraged him to learn to cut right handed because left handed scissors stink and aren't always readily available. He can do many things right-handed, but scissors baffle him.

 

I have a left handed relative and I think she is able to do some of these tasks with her right hand, like scissors, but I should ask! I think another issue is the contortion some lefties use when writing, which definitely should be avoided.

 

I am right handed but used to get stuck with the lefties' softball glove in PE, so let me tell you, using the wrng equipment just doesn't make sense.

[boscopup]

My youngest is almost 4, and he hasn't quite settled on a hand yet. He can write equally well with either hand, and actually writes quite well for his age. He has the best fine motor skills of my 3 children! He sucks his left thumb (my right handed thumb sucker sucked his right thumb), and he tends to eat and do other things mostly with his left hand. He'll throw a ball with his right hand often, but he throws better with his left hand, so I'll sometimes say, "Try your left hand and see if that works better." Sure enough, it does. :D I'm 99% sure he'll end up left handed, but I'm not worrying about encouraging one or the other (unless I see him struggling with one hand when I know another one will work better for him). I make sure his pencil grip is good either way. He doesn't hook his hand either way. I haven't given him specifically left handed tools yet, such as left handed scissors. I'm waiting to see if he needs them first. If he can learn to use right handed scissors (which he can), that will be easier for him in the long run. And if I need to get him his own can opener later, that's fine too. But for now, I just let it be. He'll eventually decide which hand to settle on. My DH was ambidextrous until school age, when they forced him to pick a hand. He went right handed, and I think that probably is mostly accurate, though he can still do some things equally well with either hand.

 

My other two kids were clearly right handed from the start, so my youngest is the only one for whom this has been an issue, but really, it's a non-issue. I don't think being left handed makes it that much harder to write and do other fine motor skills. Perhaps being left handed and having idiot teachers makes those things harder, but not being left handed by itself. :tongue_smilie: So far, my likely left handed child has better handwriting than either of his right handed brothers had at this age. ;) My oldest couldn't even write his own name until he turned 5. My youngest has been writing his name (very legibly!) for a while, at age 3.

[JuanitaL]

My DD is a lefty. I never tried to sway her either way. She is just naturally left handed. My dad growing up way back when was forced to use his right hand in school for everything. They tied his left hand to his desk if he tried to use it. It was not a good thing. He learned to use his right hand for writing and such, but it was never natural for him.

 

I have a leftie son. His leftie great-grandmother told us that when she was a little girl she would get her hand smacked with a ruler when she tried to use her left hand in school. It never would have dawned on me to try to change my son's hand preference, I've just had to change the way I teach him certain things. The hardest thing right now is working with him on chopping food with a knife, instead of doing it at the counter we have to be on opposite sides of the table so we can see each other's hands.

[Kathryn]

My older son was switching back and forth but favoring the left at that age. He ended up right handed. My younger son has always used his right hand only.

 

As a lefty, the continued belief that there's something inherently wrong with being left-dominant makes me angry and sad.

 

My grandfather got his hand smacked with a ruler in a 1920s one-room schoolhouse. His mother gave the teacher an earful about what would happen to her if she ever disciplined her son for using his left hand again.

[Aslana]

To all those who said please don't change her--thank you. My brother was a left and my BIL is a lefty. Even though all the family are righties. I wish I could write left handed, sometimes it would be much easier on the pain in my hands. Sometimes it is more convenient when working (mouse in right, and writing with left. Yes, I've encountered work situations where being ambidextrous was ideal).

 

Please don't change her. All those things people believe about lefties are wrong. Just let her be. Let her decide.

[merry gardens]

Thanks for the input. I'm sorry if I shocked any of you. I had heard of teachers encouraging the right hand before, but wasn't sure if that was correct to do. I thought not, but as I have no formal training in early education, I decided to ask. BTW, I would have never considered strapping down the left hand or any other extreme measures. We'll just wait and see what she decides.

 

Way back when, when they wrote with old fashioned ink and quill, right handedness wasn't just encouraged, it was pretty much forced on students. We write English left to right, and left handers were more likely to smear the ink. It's not such a big deal today as our pens have changed and our ink dries faster. Now most of us "write" with two hands--because we mostly type. (As I type this reply, my mind is far more aware of my left hand is doing.)

[PeterPan]

Now I'm wondering why not being determinately one or the other is bad? I'm mostly right handed, but taught myself to write left handed in my late teens/early twenties and I've always brushed my teeth with my left hand and am equally inept at things like batting a ball with either hand--that likely has more to do with being very right-dominant in my visual processing because of a slightly crossed left eye that's left me without depth perception ("functionally monocular", except I have peripheral vision on the left).

 

 

Well what you're talking is a developmental vision issue, and it was our developmental optometrist who was concerned. They're very concerned about dominances. Actually they like to see mixed dominance (not all one side of the body). They don't change dominances, but they don't like indeterminant. Your issue is correctable with therapy btw. 3-6 months would probably do it.

[PeterPan]

Boscopup, when our VT doc checked, she did the more sudden, not thought out checks, like she said Give me 5! and looked at which hand he raised. Things like that where she's trying to dig into what's deeply wired vs. what is his ability to do with both hands and experimenting with both hands (scissors, thumb-sucking, etc.).

[Hunter]

My first 3 children have automatically favored their right hands. My daughter, who is 2 1/2, now will do everything with her left - drawing, cutting and eating. I occasionally encourage her to try the right, but she will quickly switch back. Should I just let it go, or continue to encourage her to use her right hand?

 

This is probably a silly question, but I appreciate any input you all have.

 

Thanks!

 

 

This is NOT a silly question!

 

What was done to left-handed students in the past was abusive, BUT we may have gone too far in the other direction. SOME left-handed students seem to profit by being given an OPPORTUNITY to learn to write with the right hand.

 

I'm no expert in this, but have been reading widely on the subject, and have been doing some intensive remediation of handwriting with lefty and learning disabled adults.

 

I don't feel qualified to say more, BUT this is NOT a silly question!

[unfrumpable.]

Really? Do some righties benefit from learning how to write with their left hand?

 

I can use right handed scissors with my right hand, but not for any fancy cutting. Fortunately, I have some very nice left handed scissors that I love.

[JuanitaL]

 

As a lefty, the continued belief that there's something inherently wrong with being left-dominant makes me angry and sad.

 

 

One of my son's favorite passages in the Bible is in Judges 3, Ehud the left-handed man (I think he may have had a left-handed army, I can't remember), one of the deliverers of Israel. So, apparently God doesn't find anything inherently wrong with lefties.

[albeto]

One of my son's favorite passages in the Bible is in Judges 3, Ehud the left-handed man (I think he may have had a left-handed army, I can't remember), one of the deliverers of Israel. So, apparently God doesn't find anything inherently wrong with lefties.

 

Left is synonymous with "wrong" and "bad" throughout the Jewish and Christian scriptures. Whether or not God finds anything inherently wrong with lefties one can never know, but the fact is, the christian community has a history of ostracizing south-paws for religious reasons (presumably because God does, or at least did, have a problem with lefties). Questions like the OP's simply reveal the tail end of that particular superstition.

[Freckles]

I write, eat, and brush my teeth with my left hand. I sew, use scissors, and throw a ball with my right. I chop with a knife with either hand. What does that make me? When I taught school. I wrote on the chalk board with my right, so I wasn't blocking the board while I wrote. Things to ponder. hmmm?

[PeterPan]

One of my son's favorite passages in the Bible is in Judges 3, Ehud the left-handed man (I think he may have had a left-handed army, I can't remember), one of the deliverers of Israel. So, apparently God doesn't find anything inherently wrong with lefties.

 

Or God uses mutants? I read somewhere leftie-ism is correlated to higher use of ultrasounds and considered a genetic mutation. I'm not sure how strapping someone's arm and forcing them to use the non-dominant side fits with the idea that it's a genetic occurrence. But then 100 years ago they didn't have genetics knowledge to know better.

[beaners]

Really? Do some righties benefit from learning how to write with their left hand?

 

I can use right handed scissors with my right hand, but not for any fancy cutting. Fortunately, I have some very nice left handed scissors that I love.

 

I think so.

[Butter]

 

Or God uses mutants? I read somewhere leftie-ism is correlated to higher use of ultrasounds and considered a genetic mutation. I'm not sure how strapping someone's arm and forcing them to use the non-dominant side fits with the idea that it's a genetic occurrence. But then 100 years ago they didn't have genetics knowledge to know better.

 

I've read that theory (about ultrasounds) and it makes me laugh. My lefty (and one of my righties) had no u/s at all during their pregnancies. My other two are righties and both had two u/s. My great-grandmother was a lefty and I am quite sure there were no u/s in 1895. Two of her children (no u/s) were lefties. Three of my cousins (her grandchildren) are lefties and not a single one had an u/s during their pregnancies. Now, my dad was a no u/s pregnancy, but my grandmother did have a couple x-rays while pregnant with him. My husband's mother's mother never had a single u/s and 4 of her 6 were lefties. I'm going to go with handedness is totally and completely genetic.

[J9Mommy]

My husband (a lefty) was sad our DS is a righty because he had dreams of raising a left-handed baseball pitcher. He half-joked about tying his right hand behind his back... ;) My husband wishes that someone had encouraged him to learn to cut right handed because left handed scissors stink and aren't always readily available. He can do many things right-handed, but scissors baffle him.

 

I don't know if you saw my reply above, but I was actually forced to cut with my right hand as a child. Tell him it would not have worked. Even though I was forced to cut that way, you can tell it's not my dominant hand. I just can't cut a straight line to save my life ! LOL. While I use my left hand for everything else, I still cut right handed. It really messed me up !

[LucyStoner]

Thanks for the input. I'm sorry if I shocked any of you. I had heard of teachers encouraging the right hand before, but wasn't sure if that was correct to do. I thought not, but as I have no formal training in early education, I decided to ask. BTW, I would have never considered strapping down the left hand or any other extreme measures. We'll just wait and see what she decides.

 

 

 

It is true that teacher used to encourage using the right hand before. Encourage, in both my parents case, with threats, smacking of the left hand and in the case of my dad, literally restraining his left hand. Like one might restrain a mental patient. All this accomplished was making their handwriting pretty bad. Anyhoo, all that right handed bias and pressure was stuff and nonsense. And very, very dated. If I sent a left handed child to school and they came home saying their teacher was encouraging them to switch, I would be livid. This is 2013, not 1953.

 

I am of "indeterminate dominance". Also called somewhat "ambidextrous". This is very helpful at times. This is not a problem in the long run and I learned to write well with my left hand which is what I seem to favor for writing (though I can do most everything else interchangeably).

 

My husband is a lefty. He has absolutely beautiful handwriting, to the extent that he could make a living hand writing wedding invitations if people still did that. He is accomplished at calligraphy and embellishment of all kinds. He does this all with his left hand.

[Soror]

I'm a mom of two lefties here, my 3yo seems to be preferring her right however. I've never tried to push one way or the other, although my dh did have these silly ideas at first that we could change him. My son does however prefer to do some things with his right hand, so I never know what to say when asked. He tries to write with his right hand some times because of the convenience but he cannot do it. I haven't noticed if my daughter does some things right handed or not, it doesn't really matter to me too much so I don't pay much attention. I have noticed that my son seems to shoot right handed as dh is teaching him and it took them a bit to get it sorted out. All of my children have shown a strong preference in writing though from the time they picked up a pencil.

[unfrumpable.]

 

I think so.

 

 

In the context that Hunter was talking about or just in general?

 

I mean, if something ever happened that rendered one's dominant side useless, being able to do basic things with your other hand will definitely be beneficial. I would say that the vast majority of lefties do a certain amount of tasks with their right hands simply because just about everything is set up for right handers.

[twoxcell]

Really? Do some righties benefit from learning how to write with their left hand?

 

I can use right handed scissors with my right hand, but not for any fancy cutting. Fortunately, I have some very nice left handed scissors that I love.

:iagree:

My leftie has the Opportunity to use any hand she likes for what ever task she likes. She prefers her left so what. I prefer my right and no one forces me to do things with my left. If I want to use my left I do. In fact I sweep and shovel left handed. I see no difference. My dh uses right handed scissors and cuts with his right hand I believe. There was no left handed scissors for him in school so he learned to do that. My dd cuts with her left perfectly fine and we own no left handed scissors. The kids scissors seem to work fine either way.

[El...]

I write, eat, and brush my teeth with my left hand. I sew, use scissors, and throw a ball with my right. I chop with a knife with either hand. What does that make me? When I taught school. I wrote on the chalk board with my right, so I wasn't blocking the board while I wrote. Things to ponder. hmmm?

What does that make you? Cool and skilled, I say! I wish I were more two-handed.

[J-rap]

I don't know why anyone would ever need to step in and help pick a side. Even if they grow up using both hands and switching back and forth, maybe that's an advantage! My father uses both his left hand and his right hand. He used to play tennis a lot, but he would always start out with his right side. Once his opponent thought he had him figured out, my dad would then switch hands and play with his left. That would really throw them!

 

One of my children is mostly a lefty but uses her right hand for random odd things.

 

My husband had a left-hemisphere stroke and is partially paralyzed now on his right side. I wish he had been ambidextrous.

[beaners]

In the context that Hunter was talking about or just in general?

 

I mean, if something ever happened that rendered one's dominant side useless, being able to do basic things with your other hand will definitely be beneficial. I would say that the vast majority of lefties do a certain amount of tasks with their right hands simply because just about everything is set up for right handers.

 

 

I know that doing something with your non-dominant hand or foot is beneficial in a spatial awareness of your body sort of way. Based on the very limited reading I've done on hemisphere dominance and coordination and tasks such as writing that require the use of both sides, I think it could also be useful for mental activities too.

 

Actually, based on the number of lefties that, as you said, already use their right for other things, there are probably a lot of right-handed people who would benefit for that knowledge of spatial awareness. When a person has one side as heavily dominant and their hemispheres aren't coordinating properly, I would imagine using the other side to remediate may have some use. I'm not sure if strengthening your ability to use your non-dominant side would also strengthen that hemisphere's ability to do other things. I know that "crossing the midline" activities that require the coordinated use of both sides of your body are useful for future reading.

 

I wouldn't suggest it for a child young enough to need to think about how letters are formed.

[JuanitaL]

(presumably because God does, or at least did, have a problem with lefties).

 

Really? Can you cite a reference for me? Apparently He didn't have a problem with Ehud, the left-handed man He raised up to deliver Israel - Judges 3:12-30.

[Forgiven]

My ds was also forced to use his right hand in Kindergarten. I was so mad, and it's one of the reasons we took our kids out. My son does EVERYTHING left handed--and footed-- but write. I told him that now that we homeschool, he can use either hand, whichever he preferred. His response was that "mrs. x told him he had to use his left hand." ugh! I'm stilled peeved about this. It hurts to know that he was treated this way. :(

[JuanitaL]

 

Or God uses mutants? I read somewhere leftie-ism is correlated to higher use of ultrasounds and considered a genetic mutation. I'm not sure how strapping someone's arm and forcing them to use the non-dominant side fits with the idea that it's a genetic occurrence. But then 100 years ago they didn't have genetics knowledge to know better.

 

Due to DOD policy at the time, my son didn't have an ultrasound until roughly 2 weeks before he was born, so I doubt that figured into his left-handedness, or his great-grandmother's, who was 80+ when he was born.