Why is our culture so AFRAID all the time?

[cathmom]

 

 

LOL! I had no idea. Kids aren't allowed alone in the liquor shops around here. Back in CT we called those places package stores.

 

 

Convenience store, I call it.

 

I was not a free range child in the 70s. Not all children were. My mom took what I consider to be reasonable precautions. I do the same. We live in the country and there's no where to walk to. I don't think I should let my 7 yo twins walk 5.5 miles to school on rural two lane roads with no sidewalks and logging trucks lumbering past at 65 mph!

[shinyhappypeople]

Convenience store, I call it.

 

I was not a free range child in the 70s. Not all children were. My mom took what I consider to be reasonable precautions. I do the same. We live in the country and there's no where to walk to. I don't think I should let my 7 yo twins walk 5.5 miles to school on rural two lane roads with no sidewalks and logging trucks lumbering past at 65 mph!

 

Does it snow where you live? If so, they'd have awesome stories to tell their own children when the time comes. Bonus points if they could walk that far "uphill both ways" :)

[KungFuPanda]

Statistically speaking, if EVERYONE is too hyper-paranoid to let their 9-year-olds walk alone, but you allow it, wouldn't that increase your child's actual risk since the pool of snatchable kids has shrunken so drastically in a generation? Also, remember that this walking alone is a regular, predictable behavior for the OP's child. There IS a middle ground between 9-year-olds walking alone and college kids never making a decision or themselves.

 

I grew up in the middle of nowhere, and someone once tried to pick me up when I was walking along the road alone at 13. I had walked to the tiny produce market half a mile from my house on 'the main road.' I have no idea who that guy was, and I KNEW everyone else around. I ran and wasn't pursued, but it was creepy and I wouldn't want to put a little kid in that position. Maybe it's just human nature to not feel at risk until something happens to you or someone you know?

[Parrothead]

Convenience store, I call it.

 

I was not a free range child in the 70s. Not all children were. My mom took what I consider to be reasonable precautions. I do the same. We live in the country and there's no where to walk to. I don't think I should let my 7 yo twins walk 5.5 miles to school on rural two lane roads with no sidewalks and logging trucks lumbering past at 65 mph!

 

 

I was thinking about this yesterday. What about country kids? All this talk of not letting kids in town walk places unescorted for fear of stunting their emotional growth. What about kids that have no place to walk to? Where the neighbors are few and far between. Where it is prohibitive to walk to town?

[Orthodox6]

Convenience store, I call it.

 

 

 

I love the regional vocabulary discussions we have around here!

 

Although I generally heard mention of "liquor stores", I was familiar with the term "package store" as well.

 

A "convenience store", in contrast, referred to a "7-11" (the most prevalent chain back then), or similar type. At that time, they were not attached to gas stations, as they are today.

[MedicMom]

 

 

I was thinking about this yesterday. What about country kids? All this talk of not letting kids in town walk places unescorted for fear of stunting their emotional growth. What about kids that have no place to walk to? Where the neighbors are few and far between. Where it is prohibitive to walk to town?

 

 

I grew up in the middle of nowhere--like ten miles from a grocery store. We didn't have neighbors until I was in my teens and there weren't kids to play with. Maybe we were free range in that we went anywhere on our 17 acres, but I was in my mid to late teens before my mom would consider letting me unsupervised at, say, the mall. She was overprotective in many ways, but I still managed to be a functioning adult.

 

I now live in a village where potentially my kids could have other kids nearby. You do see middle schoolers walking and playing and riding their bikes here, but they are honestly few and far between. I'm not sure its overprotection as much as nobody is home. Moms are at work till late and kids are at scheduled activities. During summer months, most of the kids here seem to be at day camp, summer school or other structured activities. These kids, at least in my area and personal experience, don't have free time to just hang around the neighborhood.

[Julie Smith]

 

I love the regional vocabulary discussions we have around here!

 

Although I generally heard mention of "liquor stores", I was familiar with the term "package store" as well.

 

A "convenience store", in contrast, referred to a "7-11" (the most prevalent chain back then), or similar type. At that time, they were not attached to gas stations, as they are today.

 

 

Well yesterday dh worked from home. He was feeling tired and offered to take us all the depayant (spelling?). It is french for something close to "help you out of a breakdown" in other words the local convenience store.

[Orthodox6]

 

Well yesterday dh worked from home. He was feeling tired and offered to take us all the depayant (spelling?). It is french for something close to "help you out of a breakdown" in other words the local convenience store.

 

 

Ah! . . . but which kind of "convenience store" ?! :tongue_smilie:

[Jean in Newcastle]

 

I love the regional vocabulary discussions we have around here!

 

Although I generally heard mention of "liquor stores", I was familiar with the term "package store" as well.

 

A "convenience store", in contrast, referred to a "7-11" (the most prevalent chain back then), or similar type. At that time, they were not attached to gas stations, as they are today.

 

 

We call it a "Mom and Pop store". Even if they aren't owned by a Mom and Pop.

[2squared]

 

I was thinking about this yesterday. What about country kids? All this talk of not letting kids in town walk places unescorted for fear of stunting their emotional growth. What about kids that have no place to walk to? Where the neighbors are few and far between. Where it is prohibitive to walk to town?

 

 

I grew up in the country 10 miles from the nearest town. We walked on our country roads all the time, and I rode my bike a mile to a friend's house. A couple times I rode my bike the 10 miles to town. We roamed far and wide on our farm, and we also had far more responsibility at an early age than any town kid. I was driving tractors as soon as I could reach the pedals, and milking our herd by myself by the time I was a teen. Before I was legally able to drive I was scheduling hired hands on our farm and milking for other farmers too.

 

I live rurally now where most kids can't walk anywhere. The farm kids are just like I was - they are driving tractors and working on the farm at early ages. They get their farm driving permits and snowmobile permits as soon as they can. Yesterday I saw a student at the high school driving his snowmobile home. In the fall the 15yos drive grain trucks to the elevator. These kids are far from sheltered, but their parents probably would have stricter rules in an urban area since the kids aren't used to that environment.

 

My own 10yo & 8yo walk 1.5 miles into town and ride their bikes that far too. They also drive the lawnmower and mopeds around our acreage. We lived in an urban area when my oldest two were toddlers, and they knew about sidewalks, curbs, traffic, etc. Now we live rurally, and my current toddlers have no clue about safety in an urban area. They know how to avoid grain trucks rumbling down the gravel road, but they have never been exposed to the dangers that come along with urban traffic (as an example).

 

The town I live in is a scene from my childhood.

[Orthodox6]

 

We call it a "Mom and Pop store". Even if they aren't owned by a Mom and Pop.

 

 

I'm old enough to remember when "Mom and Pop" were real people! . . . esp. in smaller communities

[Word Nerd]

Our little corner store had the same name since it was built in the early 1900s until a couple of years ago when the new owner changed it. I doubt that anyone will ever stop calling it by its original name, though.

[nmoira]

I'm old enough to remember when "Mom and Pop" were real people! . . . esp. in smaller communities

 

I grew up with the best variety store ever down the street. There were nooks and crannies, homemade baked goods, a carousel of matchbox cars, good penny candies, fascinating bits and baubles, sweet smelling tobacco for pipes (it really did smell sweet to me back then), and every Hallowe'en they brought in the most amazing masks... expensive but high quality. The store was like the Tardis... larger inside than out... what didn't they have behind the counter? And... it only just hit me, DD the Younger shares its name. Whoah.

[Juniper]

I grew up in the country 10 miles from the nearest town. We walked on our country roads all the time, and I rode my bike a mile to a friend's house. A couple times I rode my bike the 10 miles to town. We roamed far and wide on our farm, and we also had far more responsibility at an early age than any town kid. I was driving tractors as soon as I could reach the pedals, and milking our herd by myself by the time I was a teen. Before I was legally able to drive I was scheduling hired hands on our farm and milking for other farmers too.

 

I live rurally now where most kids can't walk anywhere. The farm kids are just like I was - they are driving tractors and working on the farm at early ages. They get their farm driving permits and snowmobile permits as soon as they can. Yesterday I saw a student at the high school driving his snowmobile home. In the fall the 15yos drive grain trucks to the elevator. These kids are far from sheltered, but their parents probably would have stricter rules in an urban area since the kids aren't used to that environment.

 

My own 10yo & 8yo walk 1.5 miles into town and ride their bikes that far too. They also drive the lawnmower and mopeds around our acreage. We lived in an urban area when my oldest two were toddlers, and they knew about sidewalks, curbs, traffic, etc. Now we live rurally, and my current toddlers have no clue about safety in an urban area. They know how to avoid grain trucks rumbling down the gravel road, but they have never been exposed to the dangers that come along with urban traffic (as an example).

 

The town I live in is a scene from my childhood.

 

 

We have just moved from "Texas rural" to "Northern Michigan rural" and they are very different. In Texas rural we were less than a 1/2 hour from the incident where the father killed the man who was trying to drag off his little girl. I would not have felt comfortable letting them walk the half mile to the gas station in our small town. The towns are just different. Texas was small, but a major thoroughfare for trains, semis and illegal immigration issues. Michigan, is small, but a touristy village. Our biggest issues are drunk snowmobiling and the occasional meth house.

 

Here my kids are having to learn a whole different set of dangers. When is the ice to thin to fish on? Have there been any bears? Is it hunting season? My 12yr old daughter has had to learn to drive a 4 wheeler when working at the barn, snow mobile safety, avoiding snow plows and various other things. Oh, how to work the snow blower is another fun one. ;)

 

In a month, when we move into our new house we will be 1.5 miles from our little village. They will be allowed to walk to the village and buy penny candy from the little gift shop where their grandmother works. I am more scared by the fact that we will be living on a lake than I am of violent crime.

 

I do watch the kids at the bus stop right now, especially since I found out there is a pedophile down the street, but for the most part they are allowed to play and sled outside with only the occasional glance out the window from myself. When we are at the barn/farm they are allowed to roam completely unsupervised.

 

The one thing I cannot convince my twins is that those giant icicles are dangerous!!!! They think they are the greatest swords ever! ;)

 

 

 

Edited to add: I am very aware about the prospect of rural crime. We were youth pastors when a young girl from our church (from a farming town in rural Mo) was brutally assaulted and murdered in the woods not far from her home. The perpetrator was a boy from her school, who got off at her stop and followed her home. It was devastating and it can happen anywhere. I do think about it, it does concern me, but it is not going to control how I parent my children.

[Joker]

So, after saying how I let my 13 yr dd walk to the store and school there was a sting operation (news reported it all today) and a neighbor was picked up for trying to solicit a 13 yr old girl. :( When dd asked to go on a walk today, I said no. I'll let her go again but it will take me some time to be comfortable with it. It will also probably not be until I know the sicko won't be returning to his home.

[Luanne]

You soundly judge people for making a logical parenting choice to allow dc age appropriate independence to help them develop decision making skills. You say you are protecting your dc. And now you say you teen dd has sleepovers supervised by a single adult male who is a close family friend. Because close family friends are trusted. Isn't that a common refrain in sex abuse cases. So I will suggest your parenting decisions are highly suspect as well.

 

It sounds to me like you are even more judgmental that the person you were responding to.

[Catwoman]

So, after saying how I let my 13 yr dd walk to the store and school there was a sting operation (news reported it all today) and a neighbor was picked up for trying to solicit a 13 yr old girl. :( When dd asked to go on a walk today, I said no. I'll let her go again but it will take me some time to be comfortable with it. It will also probably not be until I know the sicko won't be returning to his home.

 

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

[Luanne]

I think it just depends on where you live, I feel safe letting my four year old play by herself in my yard (really don't think some one is going to hike through a swamp to get into my yard, it's the only way to get in besides the drive way). But I wouldn't at dbil's (Flint) or my uncle Jerry's (Saginaw).

 

 

I think this depends on the child as well. My daughter would have wandered off until she was at least 5. That is just how she is and she didn't understand stranger danger at all for a long time.

[bettyandbob]

It sounds to me like you are even more judgmental that the person you were responding to.

 

 

I merely pointing out the problems with her multiple posts in this topic. Her tone was to come off as being almost untouchable in safety while a large number us apparently endanger our dc recklessly. I used her own facts and a similar tone would get her attention.

[misty.warden]

 

I love the regional vocabulary discussions we have around here!

 

Although I generally heard mention of "liquor stores", I was familiar with the term "package store" as well.

 

A "convenience store", in contrast, referred to a "7-11" (the most prevalent chain back then), or similar type. At that time, they were not attached to gas stations, as they are today.

 

"Liquor store" confused me a lot in the original context since here in OR they are for selling liquor and beer specifically, maybe mixers and matches depending on the store, since all liquor sales are regulated by OLCC. Convenience stores like 7-11 can't legally stock hard liquor.

 

In other news, I really want a cupcake.

[Catwoman]

"Liquor store" confused me a lot in the original context since here in OR they are for selling liquor and beer specifically, maybe mixers and matches depending on the store, since all liquor sales are regulated by OLCC. Convenience stores like 7-11 can't legally stock hard liquor.

 

In other news, I really want a cupcake.

 

Maybe someone in Luanne's thread has one in her purse. ;)

 

(As far as I know, Luanne only has a banana, and while that's a fine snack, it's no cupcake. :D)

[*Michelle*]

So, after saying how I let my 13 yr dd walk to the store and school there was a sting operation (news reported it all today) and a neighbor was picked up for trying to solicit a 13 yr old girl. :( When dd asked to go on a walk today, I said no. I'll let her go again but it will take me some time to be comfortable with it. It will also probably not be until I know the sicko won't be returning to his home.

 

 

I don't know if we're in the same area, but our news covered a big sting today, too. I saw one of those caught listed his profession as "tutor." :sad: Another was a bus driver.

[Joker]

I don't know if we're in the same area, but our news covered a big sting today, too. I saw one of those caught listed his profession as "tutor." :sad: Another was a bus driver.

 

Yes, we must be in the same area as those are the same guys that I saw today in the news. I was glad they posted the addresses but shocked one lived in my neighborhood. Its tripped me up a bit.

[cathmom]

 

 

Does it snow where you live? If so, they'd have awesome stories to tell their own children when the time comes. Bonus points if they could walk that far "uphill both ways" :)

 

 

Not enough to make a good story, and it's pretty flat too LOL!

[caroljenn]

Statistically speaking, if EVERYONE is too hyper-paranoid to let their 9-year-olds walk alone, but you allow it, wouldn't that increase your child's actual risk since the pool of snatchable kids has shrunken so drastically in a generation? Also, remember that this walking alone is a regular, predictable behavior for the OP's child. There IS a middle ground between 9-year-olds walking alone and college kids never making a decision or themselves.

 

I grew up in the middle of nowhere, and someone once tried to pick me up when I was walking along the road alone at 13. I had walked to the tiny produce market half a mile from my house on 'the main road.' I have no idea who that guy was, and I KNEW everyone else around. I ran and wasn't pursued, but it was creepy and I wouldn't want to put a little kid in that position. Maybe it's just human nature to not feel at risk until something happens to you or someone you know?

 

 

This is my experience where I live and where I am coming from. When I said I have seen 2 kids walking to school in the 12 years I've lived here, I am not exaggerating. There are just no kids walking around by themselves. If you put your kid out there, alone, you'd be endangering them much more than you think, just because they would be the only ones to snatch.

[Arcadia]

Statistically speaking, if EVERYONE is too hyper-paranoid to let their 9-year-olds walk alone, but you allow it, wouldn't that increase your child's actual risk since the pool of snatchable kids has shrunken so drastically in a generation?

 

 

That is why it feels scary to me now to walk the 300 feet to the supermarket alone in the day because there is no one on the sidewalks most of the time. In the 70s, I could safely walk a few kilometers from school to home pass plenty of mom and pop stores where I could run in for help. There were also plenty of people of all ages walking day or night.

[Rebecca VA]

Tragically, I've seen or heard of many instances of beautifully-protected homeschool children who rebelled when they reached the age of 18. Some ran away (often with boys), some lost their religious faith, and others chose an immoral lifestyle. In every case, the parents were WONDERFUL people who loved their children deeply and wanted the very best for them. I'm no longer shocked when I hear these stories because I've heard so many. I just feel heartbroken for the crushed dreams of the parents and the compromised future of the children involved.

 

Human beings crave danger and challenge, to a greater or lesser extent, Some people WANT to live their lives on the edge. If you cocoon your child and never let him feel fear, and experience a controlled amount of danger, and learn to handle himself in risky circumstances, you could very well end up frustrating him to the point where he takes matters into his own hands and strikes out on his own.

[FaithManor]

Well, the thread got a little ugly. Wow!

 

Parents have to make the best choice they can for each of their children and each child is unique. Some have great instincts and common sense young, others really can't be safely on their own until far later, and then all manner in between. There isn't any absolute right or wrong way for the most part, though within any extreme, lies danger - children unprepared to be adults or suffering paranoia from being too scared (knew a girl like this in college...her mother's paranoia lead to such extreme helicopter parenting that when she turned 18, she had still never been alone ever nor had she ever been in a store and been out of her mother's sight for even a second - she was 14 before she was not required to hold her mother's hand in a parking lot! Then her father wanted to send her to college - as in - go live on campus :huh:. She lasted one week and went home in tears. Decision making was overwhelming to her! ) and the other nutsy extreme, the parent whose four year old plays in the front yard that borders a very busy road for two hours without being checked on even once because his mother says "He's learning life skills!" (Met that mom too and it was quite normal for the elderly neighbors to retrieve him from the street. They never called CPS and should have.)

 

Plus, we all live in a huge variety of communities with uniquenesses that affect our decisions. Bethany and I know Michigan and make our choices based on our knowledge of the area. Where I live now, giving my kids a lot of freedom to build their confidence and decision making skills is not a scary or irresponsible thing to do. However, Flint is a cesspool of every kind of crime you can imagine and every time the city has budget cuts, the media thinks nothing of announcing to the criminals over the airways that "more police are being laid off". It's like advertising for more crime! :glare: Parents in Flint and the communities immediately surrounding the city have a very real, non-paranoid reason to expect that something bad happening to their kids is a statistically probable possibility. As a general rule, most adults try not to go wandering around that city alone. Grown women won't shop on the more "decent" side of town alone in broad daylight if they can help it and those that do, well, this may not be popular here but they may be packing a piece. Female licenses to carry have skyrocketed in that county due to the brazen daytime assaults.

 

Saginaw is no better though it doesn't get much press for how badly it has gone downhill. I won't give dd's location within the mid-Michigan EMS company she works except to say that due to the incredible "meltdowns" in that city, she is often called in from her county to help cover that county. Sometimes she wears a bullet-proof vest. As she put it one night when she called while on shift, "EMT partner and I are at station X hiding behind a building, hoping the rig isn't noticed. Pray mom!" If I had to live in that city, my kid would be tethered to me permanently until I could move!!! I still sometimes lay awake at night when she as to work there. She was not supposed to be on shift there last night, but was called in from her other county to cover it. The city "exploded with tragedy" would be a good way of stating it. She's now three hours late getting home from a 12 hr. shift. Sigh.... Don't start me on Detroit. There are places in Wayne County in which EMS is not allowed to respond until dispatch confirms that police have cleared the scene. Many people die of treatable gun wounds, stabbing wounds, heart attacks, seizures, etc. due to the fact that the medic two blocks down isn't allowed out of the vehicle for half an hour while police have a shoot-out with the gang. Can you imagine living anywhere near that and letting your child out of the house????

 

We need to lay off each other and stop laying blame. We make the best decision we can for our kids, period and like every decent parent that has ever lived in human history, we hope to heaven, we made the right choice. Indecent parents don't give a flip. However, my sense of this board is that we haven't all congregated here as a group of flippant, self-centered, couldn't care less, parents. We are all swimming against the current in an effort to do the best we possibly can for our kids and we haven't accepted the status quo. Therefore, I think we can all safely assume, we are all doing the best we can to navigate the messy world in which our kids dwell.

 

That said, I think we can also all agree that the goal is to grow our kids to be mature adults with good instincts and decision making skills and we know they need to be capable of independent thought and action at 18 when they, here is a scary thought, gain the right to vote, and to make life changing decisions without our imput. So, we all KNOW what the happy ending is that we'd like to have! Some of us, myself included, live in communities where this is probably easier to facilitate than others.

 

For what it's worth, though dh and I allow a fair amount of free-ranging now, we have been MIGHTY careful of sleep-overs.

 

Faith

[Heather in Neverland]

 

 

We call it a "Mom and Pop store". Even if they aren't owned by a Mom and Pop.

 

Growing up in SE Michigan, we called them "party stores."

 

 

[MomtoCandJ]

Ugh just heard there was a shooting near dbil's house in Flint (dns go to Swartz Creek schools) soooo glad I live where I do.

[Jane in NC]

You know, I feel there is an element of serendipity that enters every life. "Nice" kids go off to college, have not so nice roommate. Troublesome roommate is an irritant at one phase of life, a bad influence another. We know kids who left school after a semester or a year because they had to regroup, they had to find their inner strength. Sometimes it takes years or decades for those "kids" to find themselves again.

 

I don't have the answers. Again, I believe that we need to help our kids make good decisions by our own modeling but also by having trust in them. We also need to recognize that some kids have more common sense than others.

 

As many have noted, parenting is not for sissies.

[justamouse]

nebbermind

[Hoot]

Ha. We had friends who wouldn't let their teenage daughter take the trash to or from the curb without adult supervision. Because "you just never know".

 

 

My step-mother was like this with her two daughters. It was kind of nauseating. As adults, those two girls are STILL scared to death of everything and one, at nearly 30, has never been to school or a job and still lives at home.

[I.Dup.]

This is disgusting victim blaming. The fault of a crime is with the person who committed it, not the victim or the parent of the victim. Ever.

 

Of course the fault lies with the criminal. But I agree with the others who have said that many parents just don't watch their kids very closely, IMO. I see SMALL children, 5 or 6, running along busy roads here in our town, in not so great areas. Just groups of 2 or 3, they can't be older than kindergartners. They are walking to and from school, running across the road, going into convenience stores, etc. I see them every day. We have heard stories here on the board of people asking complete strangers to watch their infant grandchildren or children. That is not uncommon. Sadly, I did that once myself when we were in the Marines, I had another military wife come over to watch my dd after she had gone to bed. I did not know her other than through an online message board. I was young and it was a STUPID decision. I know when we were in the military moms would let their kids run all over while they were passed out on the couch, we'd all have to pretty much watch each other's kids. That was part of the culture and it was hard being a single mom so much of the time, but the fact was, they weren't watching their kids. Period. Anything could have happened. It doesn't take much to scar or harm a child, I'm not just thinking of sensationalized kidnapping stories.

 

I'm certainly not going to get hysterical about a parent letting their child walk a block or two alone, or run into the store while the parents are outside, etc, etc, but I do think parents are partially to blame when they are not supervising their children closely enough. JMO.

[Joanne]

My step-mother was like this with her two daughters. It was kind of nauseating. As adults, those two girls are STILL scared to death of everything and one, at nearly 30, has never been to school or a job and still lives at home.

 

 

Reminds me of Kelly Clarkson:

 

 

 

http://www.metrolyrics.com/because-of-you-lyrics-kelly-clarkson.html

[cathmom]

 

 

My step-mother was like this with her two daughters. It was kind of nauseating. As adults, those two girls are STILL scared to death of everything and one, at nearly 30, has never been to school or a job and still lives at home.

 

 

You don't happen to be Cinderella, do you?

[hillfarm]

I think the problem is, as usual, both extremes are problematic. I have seen bad, sad situations where the parents were downright negligent and paid no attention whatsoever, while the poor little unkempt, hungry, unsupervised kids roamed aimlessly. Easy pickings for those with ill intent. I have also seen bad, sad situations where some poor kid was never given a single unsupervised minute alone, where they could begin to develop their own personality or sense of self responsibility. Clearly going to need a big dose of counseling to overcome this background later on in life. I don't feel that either approach is based on an accurate assessment of the environmental risk factors or what is best for the child.

 

Each of our locations present differing risks, our children have different temperaments and abilities to take care of themselves, and we have different parenting styles. What works for me probably won't work for you, so it would be ridiculous for me to try to tell you what you should be doing. I can share what works for me and suggest that it might work for others. But name-calling and cyber-snark is a waste of typing and reading time.

 

That said, we live in the country. In terms of wandering around large tracts of land on her own, dd is VERY free range. In terms of her walking along our dirt road and out onto the very winding paved road where the local "toughs" make a competitive sport of drinking and driving, I am very much a helicopter parent. I won't wander along that road by myself. I definitely wouldn't allow my 14yo dd to do so.

 

As my dd has gotten older, I have had to often grit my teeth, whisper a prayer, and let her go off on some adventure that scares me. Because in the long run, I think the benefit of developing independence from having an adventure outweighs the risk of the adventure. However, there have still been some instances where I have determined that the risks are very present and real, and have decided to veto her request for a particular activity. When she was younger, I think I vetoed a lot more than I do now. But she is older nowand needs some freedom to find herself.

 

There are no guarantees. Yes, things could happen to her when I am not there. But the truth is that things could also happen to her (and me) if she was here alone at the end of a dead end road with me. Based on both my religious beliefs and my own life experiences, I think that it is an illusion to believe that my mere presence can guarantee her safety. And certainly, the day will come when I can't be with her 24/7. I need to train her to be able to take care of herself when that time comes. And how could she ever reach that point if I never let her practice? IMO, it's the same as so many of the things we homeschoolers do - protect them when they are little, allow age appropriate amounts of experience as their maturity and the situation warrants, groom them to be able to someday take the reins themselves, and pray hard.

[Catwoman]

Each of our locations present differing risks, our children have different temperaments and abilities to take care of themselves, and we have different parenting styles. What works for me probably won't work for you, so it would be ridiculous for me to try to tell you what you should be doing. I can share what works for me and suggest that it might work for others. But name-calling and cyber-snark is a waste of typing and reading time.

 

:iagree:

 

And the name-calling and snarkiness can lead to a lot of animosity and hurt feelings.

 

People get very emotional over certain issues, and this is certainly one of them. I have to say, though, that while I know what works for my family, I would not assume that my way is the best way, or the right way, or even a pretty good way, for anyone else's family.

 

I have the utmost confidence that everyone who has posted here is doing their very best to keep their children safe, healthy, and happy. If they do things differently than I do, so what? If it works for them, I am going to respect their choices, and assume that they are acting in the best interest of their family, and not try to second-guess their actions.

[Luanne]

It would be nice if that was the case, but sadly, being very protective and watching your child every second still can't protect them from everything. Kids have been taken from their bedrooms ten feet from the parents. You just have to find a happy medium, and learn to accept that bad things are going to happen and so it's important to enjoy the good parts of life. I don't know about you, but when parents suffocate their kid trying to keep him safe, no one's enjoying much of anything.

 

I know there is no way you can totally keep your children safe, but that doesn't mean you just go the entire opposite direction and not watch them at all. That is how a toddler in Denver was hit by a car. He was out in the yard alone and wandered in the street to get his ball. Why can't there be a middle ground here? And no matter what people think these days, 10 and 11 year olds are NOT adults.

[Luanne]

I think middle ground is what is needed here. I doubt anyone here wants to raise children who are afraid of everything, but we also need to realize that the world is not a safe place and you can't trust every person you meet walking down the street.

[Hoot]

You don't happen to be Cinderella, do you?

 

Hahaha! The humorous part is that I was still allowed to walk 1/2 mile to school by myself, at one point through a busy town and another when we lived down a back country road. Nobody thought anything of it, but those girls weren't allowed to do a single thing on their own.

[Joanne]

I know there is no way you can totally keep your children safe, but that doesn't mean you just go the entire opposite direction and not watch them at all. That is how a toddler in Denver was hit by a car. He was out in the yard alone and wandered in the street to get his ball. Why can't there be a middle ground here? And no matter what people think these days, 10 and 11 year olds are NOT adults.

 

Who, in THIS THREAD, is advocating complete lack of age appropriate supervision?

 

The leap to the other extreme is not supported by evidence. The unsupervised toddler is the *exception* to parenting norms, not the norm.

 

Where did the jump to 10 and 11 year olds come from??