"Are you sure you have the patience to homeschool?"

[MiniBlondes]

If ONE more person looks at me dubiously and repeats this question, I just MIGHT lose my patience... on THEM!!! :cursing:

 

For some reason it seems like I've heard this question at least a dozen times since we made the decision to homeschool. What in the world? I'll admit that I've been known to lose my patience in the past. Patience has never been my strongest virtue. But seriously? I shouldn't have to tell you 545267 times to put your shoes on. Who wouldn't lose patience after awhile? It's not like I turn into a screaming lunatic. Usually. :lol: The worst is my mother. She repeats this to me constantly. Meanwhile, she loses her temper with my kids all.the.time.

 

I've come to the conclusion that God has led me to homeschooling for a reason. I've been praying for a patient spirit. Maybe this is His way of helping me get over the hump.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I just say, "It takes as much patience as it does just to be a mother. I'm not perfect but I haven't strangled anyone . . . (hard look at them). . . yet."

[Entropymama]

Patience is like a muscle, the more you use it, the stronger it gets. In a year you'll be more patient than any of them!

[MiniBlondes]

I just say, "It takes as much patience as it does just to be a mother. I'm not perfect but I haven't strangled anyone . . . (hard look at them). . . yet."

 

 

:lol:

[MiniBlondes]

Patience is like a muscle, the more you use it, the stronger it gets. In a year you'll be more patient than any of them!

 

I believe that there is a lot of truth in this.

[NotSoObvious]

I do NOT have the patience to homeschool!!!!

 

And yet I do. And I struggle. And I learn.

 

I have more patience to homeschool than I do to deal with public school right now. :) That's usually what I tell people.

[Kathryn]

Homeschooling is teaching me patience. It's not something I started with. Same as motherhood.

[MamaSheep]

I am certain I don't have the patience to homeschool. I don't have patience for laundry or dishes either, quite honestly, and the vaccum? Puh-lease. Yes, some days are a struggle. But it's still a good thing and worth doing.

[Dmmetler]

I find that HSing takes less patience than trying to get a child who very clearly inherited her father's night owl gene up at 6:00 each morning so she could nibble breakfast, get into a school uniform (including shoes and socks-each of which I SWEAR could take DD 15 minutes) and do something with her hair so we could get her to school by 8:00, then dealing with that same kid at 3:00 when we need to do homework, eat dinner, get dressed, and go to dance class, come home, take a bath, and get into bed by 8:00-which was about the time she was really awake, cheerful, and bouncy and had no desire to sleep!

 

I'd rather teach handwriting or math any day than get my kid out of bed before 8:00 AM!

[freesia]

If ONE more person looks at me dubiously and repeats this question, I just MIGHT lose my patience... on THEM!!! :cursing:

 

For some reason it seems like I've heard this question at least a dozen times since we made the decision to homeschool. What in the world? I'll admit that I've been known to lose my patience in the past. Patience has never been my strongest virtue. But seriously? I shouldn't have to tell you 545267 times to put your shoes on. Who wouldn't lose patience after awhile? It's not like I turn into a screaming lunatic. Usually. :lol: The worst is my mother. She repeats this to me constantly. Meanwhile, she loses her temper with my kids all.the.time.

 

I've come to the conclusion that God has led me to homeschooling for a reason. I've been praying for a patient spirit. Maybe this is His way of helping me get over the hump.

Some people think you either have patience or don't. I believe patience is developed and you need to experience the need to BE patient in order to learn it.

[EKS]

I do NOT have the patience to homeschool!!!!

 

And yet I do. And I struggle. And I learn.

 

I have more patience to homeschool than I do to deal with public school right now. :) That's usually what I tell people.

 

Exactly!

[Alte Veste Academy]

OK, I don't know you from Adam and I am not saying that it is true in your case and I am NOT a patient person, but I had a friend who is not patient enough to homeschool. She is harsh and hard and jumps down her kids' throats over nothing. She says things to her kids when they are struggling with a concept, horrible things like, "I know you're not stupid so you need to figure it out because I can't explain it any better than I already did." She asks her youngest all the time why she can't do things the way oldest does them and she is constantly "losing patience with this nonsense!" She knows when she is losing it that she needs to calm down but she's right that she doesn't have the patience, not to mention a boatload of parenting skills and no small amount of compassion and common sense, but I digress. Her kids have been in and out of school because she has "run out of patience" but then she is "working on being more patient." No. That is not reasonable. Someone who isn't going to make cutting remarks about the kids' intellect should be teaching them. She should be making cookies after an afternoon of yoga and greeting them with hugs. And even then her DH should be the one helping them with their homework.

 

I say I HAD a friend. The final straw for me was one day when I let DD play at her house and when I went back to pick her up, my DD was petting her little crying friend's hair saying, "You are not either a rotten kid." DD says she got in trouble for peeing on the bathroom floor and then lying about it. She was three, maybe newly four at the time, but mom was "out of patience." Again. :crying:

 

So, again, I don't know you and I promise I am NOT holier than thou, because I fight my own battles with patience. Only you can know if you are up to it but sometimes our loved ones see what we don't and reflect it back to us. Some of the most painful but helpful conversations of my life have consisted of people who know me well telling me uncomfortable truths. I could dismiss them or recognize and rectify.

 

Now, all that said, some people wonder if HS moms have enough patience because they can't imagine they ever would. In fact, my new neighbor has told me that 10x in less than 3 months. It is probably that. I just really, super-super needed to vent today. Sorry! I thought about deleting the rant but will leave it in case anyone else needs to hear it. You never know!

Edited July 26, 2012 by Alte Veste Academy

[Jean in Newcastle]

OK, I don't know you from Adam and I am not saying that it is true in your case and I am NOT a patient person, but I had a friend who is not patient enough to homeschool. She is harsh and hard and jumps down her kids' throats over nothing. She says things to her kids when they are struggling with a concept, horrible things like, "I know you're not stupid so you need to figure it out because I can't explain it any better than I already did." She asks her youngest all the time why she can't do things the way oldest does them and she is constantly "losing patience with this nonsense!" She knows when she is losing it that she needs to calm down but she's right that she doesn't have the patience, not to mention a boatload of parenting skills and no small amount of compassion and common sense, but I digress. Her kids have been in and out of school because she has "run out of patience" but then she is "working on being more patient." No. That is not reasonable. Someone who isn't going to make cutting remarks about the kids' intellect should be teaching them. She should be making cookies after an afternoon of yoga and greeting them with hugs. And even then her DH should be the one helping them with their homework.

 

I say I HAD a friend. The final straw for me was one day when I let DD play at her house and when I went back to pick her up, my DD was petting her little crying friend's hair saying, "You are not either a rotten kid." DD says she got in trouble for peeing on the bathroom floor and then lying about it. She was three, maybe newly four at the time, but mom was "out of patience." Again. :crying:

 

So, again, I don't know you and I promise I am NOT holier than thou, because I fight my own battles with patience. Only you can know if you are up to it but sometimes our loved ones see what we don't and reflect it back to us. Some of the most painful but helpful conversations of my life have consisted of people who know me well telling me uncomfortable truths. I could dismiss them or recognize and rectify.

 

Now, all that said, some people wonder if HS moms have enough patience because they can't imagine they ever would. In fact, my new neighbor has told me that 10x in less than 3 months. It is probably that. I just really, super-super needed to vent today. Sorry! I thought about deleting the rant but will leave it in case anyone else needs to hear it. You never know!

 

That mom doesn't have enough patience to be a good mom.

[Ruby Rose]

Girl! Don't you know when you pray for patience your patience gets tried on a minute by minute basis!?! Remember, what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger.

[Delirium]

I get this ALL the time but it a different form. "I wouldn't have the patience to home school!" I always reply "Sometimes, I don't either."

[ktgrok]

You could say "well, I manage not to kill them over summer vacation, I guess I can keep it up during the school year too."

[Alte Veste Academy]

That mom doesn't have enough patience to be a good mom.

 

I totally agree. Totally. But in her case, I think she would have been a better mom if she was not a homeschooling mom.

[Delirium]

That mom doesn't have enough patience to be a good mom.

 

What's with the Judgy McJudgerson? Its hard to know anything about a person.

Its possible she was raised that way and doesn't know any better.

Its possible no one has ever told her that talking to a kid that hurts more than she realizes.

The amazing thing about ignorance is its a temporary state.

 

I could be wrong, but its still not my place to say she's incapable of being a good mother.

Edited July 26, 2012 by Delirium
Poor wording

[justLisa]

No one has ever said that to me. However, I am surprised that almost every single person that knows I HS says "oh I could never have the patience for that."

[LaxMom]

I do NOT have the patience to homeschool!!!!

 

And yet I do. And I struggle. And I learn.

 

 

 

Yes.

 

I am not a fixed being; I struggle, I learn, I grow. My way of being changes in the process. I am a much different mother - and person - than I was when my eldest daughter (now 23) was young.

 

As I often tell my children: achievement is when you come to something difficult, and do it anyway.

[Alte Veste Academy]

That's kind of Judgy McJudgerson there! Its hard to know anything about a person.

Its possible she was raised that way and doesn't know any better.

Its possible no one has ever told her that talking to a kid that hurts more than she realizes.

The amazing thing about ignorance is its a temporary state.

 

I could be wrong, but its still not my place to say she's incapable of being a good mother.

 

 

Well, I get where you are coming from. Correcting my own ignorance and having some degree of humility are both big factors that allow me to homeschool, despite my many flaws (patience being but one of my failings :tongue_smilie:). But I think at the point where you are having a daily struggle about whether or not to call CPS because the "lack of patience" is approaching emotional abuse...

 

She knew better, for sure. We had many, many talks. She had major problems with motherhood, but patience certainly topped the list.

Edited July 26, 2012 by Alte Veste Academy

[Zebra]

I don't have the patience to put up with the BS at the public schools. I'm not trying to be funny or snarky, I'm being totally honest here. My personality and the schools...not a good combo ;)!

 

Honestly, it's pretty trying to have to get your kid ready at a certain time, and pick them up at a certain time, and remember NOT to pack peanut butter for lunch, and make a fairy costume for Friday and make them do testing that you find pointless. Then there's the whole 3 pm drama, and homework every day....oy.

 

I think no matter how your children are educated, it always takes patience. Being a mother takes patience, period.

[laundrycrisis]

:iagree: I'm with MeAmy. When I get the patience question, it gets an immediate response that what I don't have the patience for is the school district and everything that would go along with it ! I truly don't know how others deal with that; I wouldn't have the patience ;)

[Jean in Newcastle]

What's with the Judgy McJudgerson? Its hard to know anything about a person.

Its possible she was raised that way and doesn't know any better.

Its possible no one has ever told her that talking to a kid that hurts more than she realizes.

The amazing thing about ignorance is its a temporary state.

 

I could be wrong, but its still not my place to say she's incapable of being a good mother.

 

Who said that she's incapable of being a good mother? Putting your child down about developmentally appropriate behavior is not being a good mother. I am capable of having discernment and standards of what is good parenting without saying that I've never made parenting mistakes or at times even not been a good mother.

[Ghee]

The worst is my mother. She repeats this to me constantly. Meanwhile, she loses her temper with my kids all.the.time.

 

 

Oooh, I thought I was an only child, but we seem to have the same mother :glare:

[dangermom]

I have learned a lot of patience through homeschooling. Patience is not something that you have, or don't have--as above, it's like a muscle.

 

That said, never pray for patience!! The way God answers that prayer is by giving you something really aggravating to practice on!! :scared:

[GoVanGogh]

I don't have the patience to put up with the BS at the public schools. I'm not trying to be funny or snarky, I'm being totally honest here. My personality and the schools...not a good combo ;)!

 

Honestly, it's pretty trying to have to get your kid ready at a certain time, and pick them up at a certain time, and remember NOT to pack peanut butter for lunch, and make a fairy costume for Friday and make them do testing that you find pointless. Then there's the whole 3 pm drama, and homework every day....oy.

 

I think no matter how your children are educated, it always takes patience. Being a mother takes patience, period.

:iagree:

My child was in preschool two days a week for a few months before we pulled him to homeschool. I still remember how stressful it was to get him up and going in the morning and out the door. :tongue_smilie:

My MIL still complains about how awful my husband was as a child. I think he must have been really bad, because MIL gets animated and annoyed talking about it, 40+ years later! :lol: I just tell her, "I know. I've been married to him 25 years..." Good thing the man has never had a job that he has to be to work at a set time in the morning. Like father, like son.

 

I generally tell people that you eliminate a lot of stress when you set and follow your own schedule. Amazing when you are not time-stressed how you have more patience.

[SorrelZG]

 

That said, never pray for patience!! The way God answers that prayer is by giving you something really aggravating to practice on!! :scared:

 

I regularly have the feeling that someone is praying patience for me. Thankfully I desire sanctification or else .. what is the solution for that? Sending out an anti-prayer request? :tongue_smilie:

[MiniBlondes]

OK, I don't know you from Adam and I am not saying that it is true in your case and I am NOT a patient person, but I had a friend who is not patient enough to homeschool. She is harsh and hard and jumps down her kids' throats over nothing. She says things to her kids when they are struggling with a concept, horrible things like, "I know you're not stupid so you need to figure it out because I can't explain it any better than I already did." She asks her youngest all the time why she can't do things the way oldest does them and she is constantly "losing patience with this nonsense!" She knows when she is losing it that she needs to calm down but she's right that she doesn't have the patience, not to mention a boatload of parenting skills and no small amount of compassion and common sense, but I digress. Her kids have been in and out of school because she has "run out of patience" but then she is "working on being more patient." No. That is not reasonable. Someone who isn't going to make cutting remarks about the kids' intellect should be teaching them. She should be making cookies after an afternoon of yoga and greeting them with hugs. And even then her DH should be the one helping them with their homework.

 

I say I HAD a friend. The final straw for me was one day when I let DD play at her house and when I went back to pick her up, my DD was petting her little crying friend's hair saying, "You are not either a rotten kid." DD says she got in trouble for peeing on the bathroom floor and then lying about it. She was three, maybe newly four at the time, but mom was "out of patience." Again. :crying:

 

So, again, I don't know you and I promise I am NOT holier than thou, because I fight my own battles with patience. Only you can know if you are up to it but sometimes our loved ones see what we don't and reflect it back to us. Some of the most painful but helpful conversations of my life have consisted of people who know me well telling me uncomfortable truths. I could dismiss them or recognize and rectify.

 

Now, all that said, some people wonder if HS moms have enough patience because they can't imagine they ever would. In fact, my new neighbor has told me that 10x in less than 3 months. It is probably that. I just really, super-super needed to vent today. Sorry! I thought about deleting the rant but will leave it in case anyone else needs to hear it. You never know!

 

:001_huh: Good heavens. Those poor kids. And that poor lady.

 

No, I'm not that bad!

[MiniBlondes]

You could say "well, I manage not to kill them over summer vacation, I guess I can keep it up during the school year too."

 

:lol: Right!!

[MiniBlondes]

That said, never pray for patience!! The way God answers that prayer is by giving you something really aggravating to practice on!! :scared:

 

That explains a lot! Maybe that's why He's lead me to homeschool! :lol:

 

Honestly, I really don't think I'm that bad. I see/hear other moms saying things sometimes that make me breathe a sigh of relief. Then I have this internal dialogue of, "Oh... I just said that exact same sentence 20 minutes ago. At least I'm not the only one."

 

The problem is mainly my mother. She has no patience. She raised me having little patience herself. So as an adult I have struggled with the same issue. But it's never been as bad as hers. I think she projects it on me or something.

[dangermom]

Well, what do you do when you're about to tear your hair out? Here's what I've done:

 

Deliberately lower my voice and speak quietly and slowly. Lets the kids know I'm serious but helps me not blow my top.

 

Give myself a time-out. I did this quite a lot when my oldest was about 6 and we were still getting used to homeschooling. I'd say something like "I think we both need to take a little break. I'm going to go into my room for a few minutes."

 

Mentally count to 10 (or 50!) before saying anything.

 

Walk away!

 

More recently, I've practiced not getting too wrapped up in things by telling myself beforehand that I'm going to be Zen. For example, I went on a trip with my brother, SIL, and their kids. They tend to take a long time to get ready to go anywhere and it can drive you nuts. I told myself quite a lot beforehand that they were going to do this, and the point of going on the trip was to spend time with them, not to go to the beach (or whatever), so I was not going to worry about the late thing and just enjoy being with them. It really helped!

[Alte Veste Academy]

Good tips, dangermom! You made me think of something I do when I find myself focusing on the negative too much. For every negative thing I say to my child, I make myself say 5 positives before I allow myself to utter another negative. This has put me in the habit of turning lots of things into positives in the first place.

 

When all else fails and everyone is being ridiculously naughty and you think you're going to lose it, you can try my DEFCON 4 trick! Just pretend that there is a hidden video camera in your house wired to a live feed and everyone can see you! :lol: I quickly become Mother of the Year! :tongue_smilie:

[Mom22ns]

I have more patience to homeschool than I do to deal with public school right now. :) That's usually what I tell people.

 

:iagree:

 

When we started homeschooling I was fed up with ps. It was just too much work and it was still a miserable place for my kids. Does homeschooling require patience? Yes. Do I ever lose mine? Yes. Is it better than public school? For us, YES!

[Aspasia]

 

When all else fails and everyone is being ridiculously naughty and you think you're going to lose it, you can try my DEFCON 4 trick! Just pretend that there is a hidden video camera in your house wired to a live feed and everyone can see you! :lol: I quickly become Mother of the Year! :tongue_smilie:

 

So awesome! I believe I will be trying this. :thumbup:

[LibraryLover]

I have only been asked that a couple of times, and more in line with, "I would never have the patience." I chuckle and say, "Lots of times I don't. But it's been a great experience so far." Nobody has ever pushed further (that I can recall). I have met families where I think hsing isn't working in the best interests of all in a family. So yeah, I really *dont* think some folks don't have what it takes (or the interest) to hs. Since I do, I am not often bothererd by chit-chatty comments. You do what you do, I do what I do. That's how it is.

 

At any rate, who knows what folks have seen, you know? Everyone is entitled to their questions, although it is illegal to start smacking around an adult asking 'stupid' questions. lol

[Forget-Me-Not]

If ONE more person looks at me dubiously and repeats this question, I just MIGHT lose my patience... on THEM!!! :cursing:

 

For some reason it seems like I've heard this question at least a dozen times since we made the decision to homeschool. What in the world? I'll admit that I've been known to lose my patience in the past. Patience has never been my strongest virtue. But seriously? I shouldn't have to tell you 545267 times to put your shoes on. Who wouldn't lose patience after awhile? It's not like I turn into a screaming lunatic. Usually. :lol: The worst is my mother. She repeats this to me constantly. Meanwhile, she loses her temper with my kids all.the.time.

 

I've come to the conclusion that God has led me to homeschooling for a reason. I've been praying for a patient spirit. Maybe this is His way of helping me get over the hump.

 

I could have written this post 2 yrs ago. My mother brought it up too, not constantly, but definitely more than once. And I have friends who can't wait to send their kids back to school (seems like my FB feed is full of that lately) who sort of look at me like I have two heads and ask how I can stand to have them home all day.

 

What I didn't realize in the beginning is that homeschooling allows me to have my kids at their best. They can sleep when they need to, eat when they need, go to the bathroom when they need to. I'm available always to help and answer questions. They haven't been in class all day performing at the top of their game and coming home mentally and physically tired and hungry.

 

That's not to say that I don't lose my patience, especially in the last oh. . . several weeks (see the siggy, I'm blaming hormones :D) but it wasn't as big of an issue as I thought it would be.

 

We felt very led to homeschool as well. Keep praying. God will get you through it! If He calls you, He will qualify you.

[Jean in Newcastle]

.

 

When all else fails and everyone is being ridiculously naughty and you think you're going to lose it, you can try my DEFCON 4 trick! Just pretend that there is a hidden video camera in your house wired to a live feed and everyone can see you! :lol: I quickly become Mother of the Year! :tongue_smilie:

 

My kids know when they've really crossed the line because I start to use my professional public school teacher voice. It is very even and measured and they hate it because they know that inside I'm about ready to scream! But that still isn't the voice I use when I'm about to really lose it and go postal. That's when I whisper. If I do that, Dh will warn them, "Watch out! She's going to blow!"

[Rebel Yell]

Oh dear friend, do not ever pray for patience. Our loving Father, with His infinite sense of humor, will just send you situations in order to practice being patient. :grouphug: :D

 

I can be a bit of a crank. I try very very hard not to be, and when it doesn't work, I admit & apologize. My girls know they are very well loved.

[MiniBlondes]

Haha. I do the whisper thing too.

 

I'm naturally a loud person. My 'normal voice' is loud anyway. So when I yell, my kids don't even notice. Haha. It's when I whisper that they get really scared. My sister says that I have a 'look' that I give them. She says it gets their attention immediately. I'm not sure what this 'look' is but it must be somewhat effective if other people notice. :tongue_smilie:

[kricau]

:iagree:

I do NOT have the patience to homeschool!!!!

 

And yet I do. And I struggle. And I learn.

 

I have more patience to homeschool than I do to deal with public school right now. :) That's usually what I tell people.

[SorrelZG]

Something else I find helpful is to try to imagine my child as a young man/woman looking me (at least) eye to eye and I consider what image of me will be reflected in their eyes. If I can hold that thought it helps me to more humbly and lovingly respond to each moment that is building that person and that relationship and to be the mom I want to be.

[awisha.]

Thankyou for this thread, I have been struggling with my patience and if how I am doing things is okay or not. I have improved so much in my moods and the way I interact with my children since starting homeschooling last year, but I still have my doubts. Thankyou :)

[jackson'smama]

 

I've come to the conclusion that God has led me to homeschooling for a reason. I've been praying for a patient spirit. Maybe this is His way of helping me get over the hump.

 

your quote above is what i tell myself. somewhere i heard the quote "your children are the embodiment of all the lessons you are meant to learn in your lifetime" and for me, patience is near the top of the list.

[Coffeemama]

 

I have more patience to homeschool than I do to deal with public school right now. :) That's usually what I tell people.

 

:iagree:Exactly!

[MommyK]

I may or may not have found some extra patience in Zoloft..

 

But seriously, I really really try to check in with myself when I feel like I'm going to loose it. I look at what's going on around us. Is everything a mess? Go outside for a bit. Is music/tv on? Turn it off. Kids constantly bickering? Spread everyone out for a reset.. I think in our worst moments, tunnel vision kicks in, and that's when you need to step out of it to see it all. That's how I best find my patience.

[Alphabetika]

I am certain I don't have the patience to homeschool. I don't have patience for laundry or dishes either, quite honestly, and the vaccum? Puh-lease. Yes, some days are a struggle. But it's still a good thing and worth doing.

 

:iagree:Well said! If someone asked me that, I'd probably say, "No, but I do it anyway."