kalanamak Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 It would not be anything I would even think about. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 It would not be anything I would even think about. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 It would not be anything I would even think about. Ditto. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momofkhm Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 to be the same sex as the student if they would be driving alone together for 2 hours? No, but around here, everyone has a partner. Oldest dd had a male teacher and a female partner. Middle dd had a female teacher and a male partner. I haven't talked with others to see how it has ended up for their kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 No. I wouldn't care what gender the instructor was - only that they were good at their job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 Second, because living life is a risk worth taking. Living in fear is not much of a life even when the fears valid. It's just a waste when the fear isn't valid. My reason has nothing to do with fear. It's inappropriate, not dangerous (in addition to being risky for the instructor). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FeFe Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 No, I wouldn't. I have to say that the thought of having other teens in the car with a very new driver scares me more than an opposite sex instructor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 No. Though I would prefer it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wabi Sabi Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 No, I wouldn't. I have to say that the thought of having other teens in the car with a very new driver scares me more than an opposite sex instructor. Yes! I was just going to post the same thing and I'm surprised it took this long for anyone else to say the same thing. I certainly wouldn't want my kid sitting in the backseat while some other teen drives for the very first time. As others have also pointed out, I don't see how gender matters at all. Keeping it all same sex didn't make Sandusky's kids immune to abuse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennyD Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 No, I wouldn't. I have to say that the thought of having other teens in the car with a very new driver scares me more than an opposite sex instructor. :iagree: I have been reading the thread and thinking the same thing. Unless perhaps these cars have dual controls? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marylou Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 My reason has nothing to do with fear. It's inappropriate, not dangerous (in addition to being risky for the instructor). I agree. I am not paranoid or living in fear. By Sandusky world I also mean there are many children who have inappropriate things happen to them and they are threatened to keep silent about it. And many times they stay silent for years. I might let my daughter have Drivers' Ed with a man if there were other students in the car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tntgoodwin Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 I took driver's ed in North Carolina. I was homeschooled, but took it with the public schoolers. Our teacher was a male. There were always two students riding with the driving instructor. I think the other student with me was probably female. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 My reason has nothing to do with fear. It's inappropriate, not dangerous (in addition to being risky for the instructor). What exactly is inappropriate about someone doing their job? I cannot imagine going to work and being told it is inappropriate for me to be alone with someone I work with or a customer. In fact, MANY jobs require this. I used to work in a boutique that only had one person staffed at a time except for crossing shifts. As a teen I often worked until 2 am with onky a male coworker on the ahift with me. Not to mention all the times i babysat for a dad whose wife was out kf town or whatever. Was it inappropriate for me to sell decor to men without someone else present? Is it inappropriate for a plumber to enter the home if the lady of the house is home alone? I can think of any other number of situations that illustrate how ridiculously sexist and paranoid this is. However it does illustrate how hostile work environments are for men in these days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 It would not be anything I would even think about. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 No. That would never occur to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted July 10, 2012 Author Share Posted July 10, 2012 Thanks for all the responses. I do appreciate reading them. I really am not a paranoid parent at all but something about this guy made my insides scream. That doesn't happen often, but I usually know better than to go against my intuition. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 No. But, around here. A driving instructor is almost never alone with a student. At the local high school and at the driving schools around here, the students are usually paired up for behind-the-wheel. One is a passenger while the other is driving and then they switch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 (edited) NO, but many have a policy of more than one student or passenger per session to avoid stuff. Edited July 10, 2012 by Tammyla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 Thanks for all the responses. I do appreciate reading them. I really am not a paranoid parent at all but something about this guy made my insides scream. That doesn't happen often, but I usually know better than to go against my intuition. See now that is different and really not about the what gender the driver is anyways. If the driver just bothers you, then call and have him replaced with someone else. If he made my momma radar go off, I wouldn't want my kid with him at all. So again, the whole let's put two or more other kids in contact with someone making my radar alarm makes no sense whatsoever to me. confused: NO, but many have a policy of more than one student or passenger per session to avoid stuff. None of them here do and I wouldn't pay for them if they did. My sons have used their entire 1.5 hour sessions to be behind the wheel themselves. No distracting other teen in the backseat. No cutting time in half or more sharing the driving with another. There should be no stuff to avoid. They aren't parking in the woods. They are driving about the city.:confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 What exactly is inappropriate about someone doing their job? I cannot imagine going to work and being told it is inappropriate for me to be alone with someone I work with or a customer. In fact, MANY jobs require this. I used to work in a boutique that only had one person staffed at a time except for crossing shifts. As a teen I often worked until 2 am with onky a male coworker on the ahift with me. Not to mention all the times i babysat for a dad whose wife was out kf town or whatever. Was it inappropriate for me to sell decor to men without someone else present? Is it inappropriate for a plumber to enter the home if the lady of the house is home alone? I can think of any other number of situations that illustrate how ridiculously sexist and paranoid this is. However it does illustrate how hostile work environments are for men in these days. No one said anything about it being "inappropriate" for "someone doing their job." For the most part, the examples you provided are not the same--a child with an unknown adult in an authoritative position. Yes, work environments are hostile toward men these days. That is a sad fact of life, and it would serve any man well to consider this and protect himself accordingly. As in (almost?) any other instructor situation, it is inappropriate for a young girl to be alone with an adult male instructor. Call me ridiculously sexist and paranoid, I don't care. I'm not. In this country, at this time, a man who places himself in a situation with a young girl alone is foolish. For the same reasons I would never put my ds in a babysitting situation, my husband would not jeopardize himself in any way by being alone with a teen girl in an authority position. Company policy prohibited it in his managerial position. I'm not sure if my county job prohibits it, but my boss follows the same precautions. I've been around enough to know it's not worth the risk to my family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 I wonder if this is just another symptom of public education. In a school setting teachers are not allowed to hugs students or be alone with them and that school policy spills over to coaches and other stuff. I guess if your only experience is with drivers education at the schools, then you would expect it to be handled in that manner. I have never had drivers education at a school and neither has my dh. In fact, our sons went to the same private business as dh did the summer he turned 16. The class time is a true classroom setting with other students of any age. For about 10 hours. Then they each schedule their personal drive sessions. 4 sessions of 1.5 hours each. The instructor comes to the house (or wherever) to pick them up and they practice driving and parking and such for the entire 1.5 hours and then are returned home. The last driving session is scheduled closer to when they can get their graduated license and is a mock driving test. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 I agree. I am not paranoid or living in fear. By Sandusky world I also mean there are many children who have inappropriate things happen to them and they are threatened to keep silent about it. And many times they stay silent for years. . But Sandusky was about molestation of BOYS by a MAN. So why is a same sex driving instructor better?:confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 But Sandusky was about molestation of BOYS by a MAN. So why is a same sex driving instructor better?:confused: That's exactly why I voted for a female instructor in my earlier post. Men molest children/teens of either sex with a much higher frequency than women, so, I think, if one is concerned about molestation, it's better to have a woman. I have heard about some issues with safety involving having a (male) taxi driver -- they are in control of the destination. So safety should be considered. Molestation is pretty common. I am not sure it's higher with driving instructors, but any situation where someone can take one off to wherever they want and the other person has no control, doesn't strike me as safe. I would certainly want the person learning to drive to have a phone with them. I am not saying learning to drive is a dangerous activity in terms of abuse, but such situations are not always safe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiCO Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 Yes, work environments are hostile toward men these days. That is a sad fact of life, and it would serve any man well to consider this and protect himself accordingly. As in (almost?) any other instructor situation, it is inappropriate for a young girl to be alone with an adult male instructor. Call me ridiculously sexist and paranoid, I don't care. I'm not. In this country, at this time, a man who places himself in a situation with a young girl alone is foolish. Unfortunately, I have to agree with this. My company policy is for no one to ever be alone in a private situation (i.e.- office with no windows) with a student. I would recommend any driving instructor have a third person in the car at all times, for his (or her) own protection. However, I sent my dd off for two hours at a time with a male driving instructor without a second thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 I really am not a paranoid parent at all but something about this guy made my insides scream. That's a whole nother deal. Run the other way, even if someone else is in the car! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 It would not ever occur to me. But I wouldn't think one kid and one instructor would be in the car. I suppose I always thought it would be a class type situation with one instructor and three students. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 It would never have crossed my mind. I was generally alone with my driving instructor-a male. He was there to teach driving, most instructors tend to be male and nothing untoward would be going on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 No. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 I never gave it any thought even though my hubby makes sure that he is never alone with someone else's child for his own protection. It just never crossed my mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 to be the same sex as the student if they would be driving alone together for 2 hours? No. There are only 2 driving instructors in town, and both are men. If I lived in a larger city, I'd specifically request a female instructor if I wanted one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 No. My dd's driving instructor was male. I think almost all of them are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaAkins Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 No, but in our area, the driving instructor is NEVER alone with a student. Students always drive in pairs or trios, with one instructor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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