Would you do this?

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

My sister works at Barnes & Noble, and tomorrow afternoon they are having some kind of Lego event between 4-6 PM. I was going to take my boys (8 & 9) and my niece (8), because I'm watching her tomorrow. I'll also have the 6 month baby that I watch with us. Her dad picks her up around 7 PM.

 

Tomorrow is payday. It is the day I usually go to Trader Joe's in the evening after the baby leaves. The thing is, Trader Joe's is right next door to Barnes & Noble. My sister said I should just leave the older kids there and go shopping with the baby while the kids are doing the Lego thing at her store.

 

Should I do that? One part of my brain says, "Yes, it's much more convenient." The other part says, "Should you really leave two 8 year olds and a 9 year old at a store, even if your sister is there, because she is working and can't really be responsible for them?"

[melissad2]

I wouldn't.

[Annie G]

I'd probably get there, spend a half hour or so watching how the kids behave at the event, and if everything looks ok, go ahead. But warn the kids if they aren't picture perfect for the first 45 minutes, they have to leave the event and come shop with you instead.

 

Be totally hands off and out of sight of the kids during the observation time so you get a good feel for how they're handling it.

 

Could your sister call you if they need you? I'm guessing you won't be at Trader Joe's for that long- like 45 minutes at the most, right?

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I wouldn't. It's a very good point that sister will be working and not able to be responsible for them.

[Mommyof4ks]

I would leave them if your sister will be there and the kids know to stay together, never leave the Lego thing to go to the bathroom without a buddy and your sister knowing. It is a relatively safe way to give them a bit of independence and build self confidence IMO. Of course there are never many people just hanging out at our B&N, so the traffic level might change my answer.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

I wouldn't. It's a very good point that sister will be working and not able to be responsible for them.

 

:iagree: A big group of kids at a (possibly) advertised event? My paranoid mommy genes starts thinking about pedophiles and kiddnapers. If the group is big they/your sister can't keep track of all of them. Can't you go afterwards?

[Wheres Toto]

It would depend on where your sister would be working. Will she be in the area where the lego activity is? wandering around the store and can check in every so often? or stuck up at a cash register unable to get away?

 

If it was one of the first two, I'd probably take Annie's suggestion to watch a bit and see how they do and then if they are okay, go ahead.

 

If your sister is stuck at a register and won't be able to check on them, I probably wouldn't do it.

[gabbymom]

I wouldn't...

[zimom]

Nope.

[Ruby Rose]

I would not. It only takes a second for someone to walk off with your kid.

[QuirkyKapers]

Is your sister working in the area where the kids will be?

[2cents]

Nooooo! Don't leave them. I was good friends with a gal who worked at B & N. She used to tell me that the employees would get so angry when people would drop off. They called the police a few times. The bookseller programs are NOT drop off and an adult must be present to have care and control of the children at all times.

[catz]

Nooooo! Don't leave them. I was good friends with a gal who worked at B & N. She used to tell me that the employees would get so angry when people would drop off. They called the police a few times. The bookseller programs are NOT drop off and an adult must be present to have care and control of the children at all times.

 

Well it makes perfect sense to me that a parent should not drop their kids off. I'd go and get a feel for it and talk to my sister. Obviously if she could not be watching the kids at all times, I wouldn't do it. But if she cleared it with her boss and was back at the kids area watching the kids, I'd have no problem with it.

[Rebel Yell]

I wouldn't- mostly because they aren;t usually "drop-off" events.

 

If your main issue with shopping is time, can the extra kid's dad meet you later- give him time to run a quick errand? Or can you somehow change the drop-off time or location?

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I'd probably get there, spend a half hour or so watching how the kids behave at the event, and if everything looks ok, go ahead. But warn the kids if they aren't picture perfect for the first 45 minutes, they have to leave the event and come shop with you instead.

 

Be totally hands off and out of sight of the kids during the observation time so you get a good feel for how they're handling it.

 

Could your sister call you if they need you? I'm guessing you won't be at Trader Joe's for that long- like 45 minutes at the most, right?

 

It would depend on where your sister would be working. Will she be in the area where the lego activity is? wandering around the store and can check in every so often? or stuck up at a cash register unable to get away?

 

If it was one of the first two, I'd probably take Annie's suggestion to watch a bit and see how they do and then if they are okay, go ahead.

 

If your sister is stuck at a register and won't be able to check on them, I probably wouldn't do it.

 

 

Maybe I'll do that. I'll scope it out for a while to see what the set up is. My sister is scheduled to help with the event. But that could easily change if someone calls off or something. She almost never works cash register and is mostly working the Nook counter, Customer Service, or shelving/customer assistance. This sister lives with us, so my kids hang out at B&N a lot. We stop in to visit her if she's working and we go to T J's. She will take them up there to pick out a book on her days off, and a few of her friends from work have been to our house. So, most of the staff knows who they are, and I trust my niece to stay with the boys and I trust my eldest to make sure everyone stays together. And, yes my sister could call me. She could even come and get me. You walk out of B&N's door, take about 20 steps and you're at Trader Joe's door.

 

It's not terribly far from my house to go up there, bring the baby back home for her dad to pick her up, and then turn around and go back to Trader Joes, but the traffic on a Friday afternoon/evening is horrible. It's a really congested area. They built up a bunch of shopping without adding lanes to the road.

 

Anyway, I guess we'll see how it goes tomorrow.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Nooooo! Don't leave them. I was good friends with a gal who worked at B & N. She used to tell me that the employees would get so angry when people would drop off. They called the police a few times. The bookseller programs are NOT drop off and an adult must be present to have care and control of the children at all times.

 

I know! My sister complains about this all the time. And about how people treat the bookstore like a library or a playland. They don't seem to understand that the books and toys are merchandise to be purchased- not read and played with at the store! I would never have even considered dropping them off, but she suggested it. She knows my kids are well behaved and wouldn't destroy anything or wander off without telling her where they are going. And she is supposed to be directly at the activity with them.

 

I don't know. I'll just go, and if it seems like she can handle it, I'll go shopping. If not, I'll just go back up there again.

[TranquilMind]

My sister works at Barnes & Noble, and tomorrow afternoon they are having some kind of Lego event between 4-6 PM. I was going to take my boys (8 & 9) and my niece (8), because I'm watching her tomorrow. I'll also have the 6 month baby that I watch with us. Her dad picks her up around 7 PM.

 

Tomorrow is payday. It is the day I usually go to Trader Joe's in the evening after the baby leaves. The thing is, Trader Joe's is right next door to Barnes & Noble. My sister said I should just leave the older kids there and go shopping with the baby while the kids are doing the Lego thing at her store.

 

Should I do that? One part of my brain says, "Yes, it's much more convenient." The other part says, "Should you really leave two 8 year olds and a 9 year old at a store, even if your sister is there, because she is working and can't really be responsible for them?"

No, they are too young, in my opinion. I wouldn't leave them alone in a store without me.

 

Young teens, or at least mature 12, yes.

[DaffodilDreams]

No, I wouldn't.

[2squared]

I would. Your sister will be at the store. Your kids are very familiar with the store and know how to behave while there. Presumably the other employees know your kids as well. You will assess the situation for a little bit and then be next door for under an hour. You are obviously comfortable enough with situation to seriously consider this option, and your sister is clearly comfortable with it.

[clarkacademy]

No way! What if something happened and it caused your sister to lose her job? What if someone walked off with your kid? No too many things could happen.

[Guest submarines]

I would. Your sister will be at the store. Your kids are very familiar with the store and know how to behave while there. Presumably the other employees know your kids as well. You will assess the situation for a little bit and then be next door for under an hour. You are obviously comfortable enough with situation to seriously consider this option, and your sister is clearly comfortable with it.

 

:iagree:I would.

[DesertDweller]

Only if you would do it if your sister wasn't there. She's working. She shouldn't be keeping an eye on your kids while on the clock.

 

If she wasn't working, I wouldn't leave them either. Unless it's a drop event, they are too young.

[In the Rain]

I would only leave them if my sister was directly responsible for them.

[BlessedMom]

No, I would not leave them there.

[Peaceful Isle]

Sounds like fun, :) but I would definitely be there with your kiddos. Maybe you can shop afterwards?

[Kirch]

Maybe I'll do that. I'll scope it out for a while to see what the set up is. My sister is scheduled to help with the event. But that could easily change if someone calls off or something. She almost never works cash register and is mostly working the Nook counter, Customer Service, or shelving/customer assistance. This sister lives with us, so my kids hang out at B&N a lot. We stop in to visit her if she's working and we go to T J's. She will take them up there to pick out a book on her days off, and a few of her friends from work have been to our house. So, most of the staff knows who they are, and I trust my niece to stay with the boys and I trust my eldest to make sure everyone stays together. And, yes my sister could call me. She could even come and get me. You walk out of B&N's door, take about 20 steps and you're at Trader Joe's door.

 

It's not terribly far from my house to go up there, bring the baby back home for her dad to pick her up, and then turn around and go back to Trader Joes, but the traffic on a Friday afternoon/evening is horrible. It's a really congested area. They built up a bunch of shopping without adding lanes to the road.

 

Anyway, I guess we'll see how it goes tomorrow.

 

I'd see if the baby's dad could meet you at B&N/T J's if it's that close.

[kalanamak]

I would leave them if your sister will be there and the kids know to stay together, never leave the Lego thing to go to the bathroom without a buddy and your sister knowing. It is a relatively safe way to give them a bit of independence and build self confidence IMO. Of course there are never many people just hanging out at our B&N, so the traffic level might change my answer.

 

:iagree:Our B and N is far less creepy than the library.

[2_girls_mommy]

I don't think your sister would have offered if it was a problem. I am sure she knows the atmosphere of the store as far as her boss and job is concerned. I am sure she is able to supervise and knows they will behave if she offered. I am sure she has a cell phone to call you if things get crazy and she needs you back ASAP.

 

I trust my sister with my kids at her work, just as I trust my dh at his. Neither would do anything to risk their jobs or the children's safety.

 

The other option is to take all of them after, but I am sure that is not ideal.

[catz]

I don't think your sister would have offered if it was a problem. I am sure she knows the atmosphere of the store as far as her boss and job is concerned. I am sure she is able to supervise and knows they will behave if she offered. I am sure she has a cell phone to call you if things get crazy and she needs you back ASAP.

 

I trust my sister with my kids at her work, just as I trust my dh at his. Neither would do anything to risk their jobs or the children's safety.

 

The other option is to take all of them after, but I am sure that is not ideal.

 

:iagree: I consider all these activities calculated risks. Hopping in a vehicle or taking 4 kids to a busy grocery store alone isn't without some risk either. I'm assuming you trust and have a good relationship with your sister here and you both have cell phones. I'm also assuming these are reasonably well behaved kids for age (my youngest just turned 8 too). If these kids were 6 and under or special needs, I might feel differently. I'd verify the situation with sister and her whereabouts during the event for sure, but I'd likely be ok with it.

[kalanamak]

I And she is supposed to be directly at the activity with them.

 

If she is directly there and she suggested it, barring a completely nutty sister, I definitely would do it. Our B and N has only one exit, and surely an 8 year old has a very low chance of 1) meeting a child napper and 2) getting out the door without making a scene.

[justasque]

What are you buying at TJ's? If it's not frozen, can you go before the event instead of after? Could you bring a cooler along with some ice, to put any milk etc. into? That way, you'd only have to go once, the kids could go play LEGO, the baby would be home on time, and you don't have to leave the kids alone.

[Soror]

If she is directly there and she suggested it, barring a completely nutty sister, I definitely would do it. Our B and N has only one exit, and surely an 8 year old has a very low chance of 1) meeting a child napper and 2) getting out the door without making a scene.

 

:iagree:

[Kelly1730]

I have two words: Jerry Sandusky. I know longer trust anyone that I do not know personally around my children. Not until I know that they can physically stand up for themselves. It's sad, but that's how I feel.

[ThisIsTheDay]

If she is directly there and she suggested it, barring a completely nutty sister, I definitely would do it. Our B and N has only one exit, and surely an 8 year old has a very low chance of 1) meeting a child napper and 2) getting out the door without making a scene.

 

:iagree:

 

No one except your sister and kids will know that you are not there. Because I'm yukked out by bathrooms even if I'm in them, I'd make sure the kids wouldn't have to go while I am gone.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

What are you buying at TJ's? If it's not frozen, can you go before the event instead of after? Could you bring a cooler along with some ice, to put any milk etc. into? That way, you'd only have to go once, the kids could go play LEGO, the baby would be home on time, and you don't have to leave the kids alone.

 

4 kids at Trader Joe's!!! :boxing_smiley::willy_nilly::svengo::smilielol5:

 

It's 80 degrees already. I don't think the cooler would hold all the cold/frozen stuff for two hours.

 

I'll probably go later. We shall see.

[marbel]

How mature are your kids? Do they know to stick together? Do they behave well when you are out and about? Can you trust them not to be disruptive, treat the merchandise badly, etc?

 

I think it would be very hard for someone to kidnap them from a store. If someone tried, the children would put up a huge fuss, wouldn't they? They are old enough not to walk off with someone they don't know, aren't they?

 

My main worry would be that your niece would have to use the bathroom and would have to go alone.

 

You could ask your sister how close she would be to the event, how available she would be if needed. Maybe she is overestimating your kids' ability to be in the store on their own, or maybe she can be flexible during that time.

[coralloyd]

If the kids are well behaved enough to stay at B&N without you, they are well behaved enough to go to TJ's with you. The stuff should be fine in a cooler for 2 hrs. Don't make this decision based on convenience. It probably won't be as bad as you think.

8 and 9 is too young IMO. They would probably freeze or freak out if something bad happened. They probably would not be level headed and calm. Until they can be, I would not leave them.

 

4 kids at Trader Joe's!!! :boxing_smiley::willy_nilly::svengo::smilielol5:

 

It's 80 degrees already. I don't think the cooler would hold all the cold/frozen stuff for two hours.

 

I'll probably go later. We shall see.

[clarkacademy]

If the kids are well behaved enough to stay at B&N without you, they are well behaved enough to go to TJ's with you. The stuff should be fine in a cooler for 2 hrs. Don't make this decision based on convenience. It probably won't be as bad as you think.

8 and 9 is too young IMO. They would probably freeze or freak out if something bad happened. They probably would not be level headed and calm. Until they can be, I would not leave them.

 

:iagree:If they can be trusted at the book store alone then why couldn't they go to a store? I have 4 kids they go everywhere with me!

[dirty ethel rackham]

I wouldn't. If it is not a drop off activity that will be supervised, then it is unfair to the people running the event.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

If the kids are well behaved enough to stay at B&N without you, they are well behaved enough to go to TJ's with you. The stuff should be fine in a cooler for 2 hrs. Don't make this decision based on convenience. It probably won't be as bad as you think.

8 and 9 is too young IMO. They would probably freeze or freak out if something bad happened. They probably would not be level headed and calm. Until they can be, I would not leave them.

 

It's not the kids I'm worried about at Trader Joe's! They actually are very good there. When I go with the boys, they get their own little carts and go off together and fill up their little carts with the stuff they know I'll let them get. Our Trader Joe's is a madhouse unless you go right when they open on Sunday mornings. Navigating the aisles is like playing Frogger. I just think it would be too congested. I buy milk, yogurt, lots of frozen stuff, Applegate Farms deli meats, etc. I don't think it would all fit in my cooler anyway if I did decide to take all the kids earlier. I need to stock up on things, too. We are pretty Mother-Hubbardy around here. Normally, I'd leave the kids home with dh and go later, but he's going to a baseball game this evening and is staying downtown after work until the game. I've sworn never to go to TJ's on a Saturday again in my life! And we can't wait until Sunday for food! I'm not sure what time SIL is picking up my niece. She hasn't called or texted. Ugh! I wish Trader Joe's had a delivery service.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

P.S. I love having my niece here! She is keeping the baby occupied, and I get to sit here kvetch with you guys! :)

[Alpac]

I would have to say that I would not. I went to a Books-a-Million going out of business sale and was really creeped out by a man who came up to talk to my 7 y/o who was standing right beside me. The man would talk to "us" but would end up looking at my ds. He was very strange! And I wondered what he would have done had I not been there. This particular ds does not have a good built-in radar so I had instructed him to stay close to me. My older dss felt creeped out as well and even asked to leave.

 

I realize your sister will be there, but as others have said, she will be on the clock working. I wouldn't rely on her to watch my children. Not that she is not trustworthy, but she might be put in a situation to have to choose between watching your children and a work duty that might take her away from them/the event area.

 

I do tend to be overly cautious at times, but I would not be comfortable with this.

 

I do understand your dilemma, though. I am trying to find a sitter so that I can go to a used bookstore with a friend. I would like to have an afternoon of adult conversation and be able to actually look/browse at the bookstore, but will have to take my kiddos with me if I cannot find one, and it is not looking good in the babysitter department, so....I do understand, but sometimes convenience and time alone for whatever activity has to be sacrificed. One day it won't be like that, though, and I suspect we will miss these days.

 

I would try to find another solution.