I called the police on my neighbor

[gingersmom]

This happened last night but I am still shaking.

 

My dog ate a bird yesterday (gross) so she had to make an emergency visit to the front lawn at 10pm.

 

My neighbor is dragging his trash can down his driveway to the curb. Me and the dog are standing on the top steps (outside the door) waiting for him to finish. We can't see him because of bushes/tree that separate my lawn from his driveway.

 

The dog starts barking at him. She then pulls me to the lawn for her puppy emergency.

 

The neighbor appears around the bushes and starts screaming at me. I'm standing there in my pajamas dumbfounded. Then he starts cursing at me (profanities flying left and right) and starts approaching me (on my lawn) with his arm outstretched. I hightail it with the dog into the house and call 911. It took me several tries because my hands were shaking so.

 

I go back outside and he is dumping my trash (from the trash can at the curb) all over the sidewalk.

 

What the !!!????

 

Three police cars arrive and he starts screaming at the cop. The cop threatens to arrest him twice before he backed down.

 

They talked to me, they talked to him, they talked to me some more. About an hour later they left and now I have to go pick up my police report.

 

I'm still dumbfounded. I just don't understand how any man thinks its okay to talk to a women like that. He has a wife and a daughter. I just don't get it.

 

I'm thinking of a taking a self defense class. :001_smile:

[Bluegoat]

Weird. Sounds to me like he probably wasn't thinking at all. Either impaired, nuts, or he had a body in the trash can and lost his cool seeing you out there.

[Bensmom]

Yikes!!! Have you ever spoken with this neighbor before last night? Is he always crazy?

[Denisemomof4]

That's crazy!!!!! Why was he so upset? Barking dog? So throwing your trash around will quiet the dog?

 

Psycho neighbor!!! I am glad you weren't hurt!

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I can imagine my dh going psycho on that neighbor if that had happened here!

 

I'm also curious to know if your neighbor is always a crazy creep, or if last night was an exception?

[Tammyla]

You should take the self defense course and be very careful around him; he sounds dangerous.

[delaney]

Wow! I didn't realize we had the same neighbor!:tongue_smilie: I feel for you:grouphug:

I had to call on mine a week ago when they "accidentally" left the gate open and her 4 wiener dogs charged up my driveway and went for my 3 year old who was on the ground playing chalk. They have bitten twice already:glare:

[houseofkids&pets]

That is frightening! Honestly, I don't know what I would do. Pray that he moves!! I wonder how he treats his wife and child??

[LaxMom]

I don't think that falls under "treatment of women" heading. I think that falls under "civil behavior". Flying into a rage, acting aggressively toward somebody, then dumping their trash all over the sidewalk because they're letting their dog go potty in their own yard is a problem, no matter who is on the loop end of the leash. And more concerning because he obviously feels justified enough to assert himself to the police officers investigating his outburst.

 

Not cool.

[mommaduck]

It sounds like there was something wrong with him.

[mazakaal]

I don't think that falls under "treatment of women" heading. I think that falls under "civil behavior". Flying into a rage, acting aggressively toward somebody, then dumping their trash all over the sidewalk because they're letting their dog go potty in their own yard is a problem, no matter who is on the loop end of the leash. And more concerning because he obviously feels justified enough to assert himself to the police officers investigating his outburst.

 

Not cool.

 

:iagree: This guy sounds nuts. Have you ever spoken with him before. Maybe he was on drugs or something. I can't imagine anyone in their right mind acting that way.

[Cinder]

Very scary! I'd be worried about what he might do if my child was out there and did something to annoy the neighbor. Sounds like it doesn't take much to set him off.

[bkpan]

So, who had to clean up the trash??

[SKL]

What was he yelling?

 

I'm glad you called the police. Though, hopefully he was just having a really bad day.

 

This reminds me of when I took my girls to church on Easter morning. The parking lot was full so I parked (legally and properly) on the road. The guy who lived in the nearest house started hollering, yelling, pointing, etc., and this continued the entire time I was walking my girls to the church door. I still have no idea what he thinks I did wrong, nor do I care. Just glad he's not my neighbor. I was so tempted to smile and say, "Happy Easter," or better yet, "Jesus loves you," but I was afraid he'd do something to my kids.

[ThisIsTheDay]

You must live in my old house?

 

Very scary. Does he otherwise seem normal? We had a neighbor like this. He was a huge control freak. He was the neighborhood watch captain :confused:, and he was the only one who didn't have to live by the rules. After several discussions, we called zoning on him, he flipped out on us, and we had to call the police. There were other incidents.

 

While I still don't believe he would have done anything without being, in his mind, provoked, the incident totally freaked my kids out. They were scared of him after that, and they were scared he'd come into our house. That was the worst part about it, it undermined my kids' sense of security in our home. Dh and I believed we were in absolutely no physical danger at any time. He was just a big blowhard who wanted to feel important.

 

I'm sorry you had to experience it.:grouphug::grouphug:

[Kathryn]

Im also wondering what he's normally like. And who had to clean up the trash.

[arghmatey]

What a nut.

[Trish]

I'd get one of those "Bear" Pepper sprays just in case.

[Excelsior! Academy]

Weird. Sounds to me like he probably wasn't thinking at all. Either impaired, nuts, or he had a body in the trash can and lost his cool seeing you out there.

 

:iagree: you interrupted his planting of the body.

[Trish]

Sounds like everyone is overreacting a bit.

The guy most likely does not beat his wife nor his child.

He probbably isnt going to harm little kids.

He may need to take an anger managment class.

PUT YOURSELF IN HIS SHOES?

Maybe he was worried that he was going to lose his job because of something that happened at work. Maybe he found a family memeber died. Maybe he was on booze so yeah that doesnt work, but suppose he was taking his trash out to get some peace and the dogs started barking and he lost it?

 

I'd sooner overturn my own trash than the neighbor's.

 

If he had become apologetic when the police arrived, I might agree with "overreaction." But, since he screamed at the police, I think, no, NOT an overreaction. Put yourself in HER shoes.

[umsami]

How scary.

 

One thought is that he might be bipolar or have other issues going on.

 

 

I'm really sorry you had to go through this. In our old neighborhood, I had one neighbor stop his car, block my drive way, and start yelling at me. (I wear hijab.) It was really scary. I was just out there bringing in my trash cans. Every time after that I saw his Saab, I got a little nervous. Luckily, we moved about a year later. (And this guy lived in the neighborhood, not next door!)

[RoughCollie]

The only evidence that we have is the one that points that he has serious serious anger mangament issues

 

Yeah. Issues which he acts out verbally and physically, which is something wife beaters, killers, and child abusers do. Be glad you aren't a trash can that is in his presence.

 

Even though the police didn't do anything about it, the guy trespassed on Gingersmom's property and assaulted her. He also littered.

 

Face it, the guy's a common criminal, whether he was arrested or not. He's a scumbag, a lowlife.

Edited May 18, 2012 by RoughCollie

[Ferdie]

It sounds like everything is not okay with him. I am glad you have a police report on file. Good job!

[*********]

Sounds like everyone is overreacting a bit.

The guy most likely does not beat his wife nor his child.

He probbably isnt going to harm little kids.

He may need to take an anger managment class.

PUT YOURSELF IN HIS SHOES?

Maybe he was worried that he was going to lose his job because of something that happened at work. Maybe he found a family memeber died. Maybe he was on booze so yeah that doesnt work, but suppose he was taking his trash out to get some peace and the dogs started barking and he lost it?

 

Dude.

 

While I'm sure we can all empathize with having a bad day and wanting some peace, that's not an excuse to 'lose it' on the neighbor lady. :001_huh:

 

I do agree, however, that I just don't jump to the 'is this how he treats women?' thought. I mean, he was beligerent with the police officers too, right? Were they all women?

 

Sounds like the guy's not right in the head.

[JudoMom]

Dude.

 

While I'm sure we can all empathize with having a bad day and wanting some peace, that's not an excuse to 'lose it' on the neighbor lady. :001_huh:

 

I do agree, however, that I just don't jump to the 'is this how he treats women?' thought. I mean, he was beligerent with the police officers too, right? Were they all women?

 

Sounds like the guy's not right in the head.

 

:iagree: He sounds like an equal opportunity a$$.

[SKL]

i never said i condone it.

However, all i was saying was that everyone is jumping to crazy conclusions

 

I do think that dumping the neighbor's garbage out is more than just a personal problem. How would he like it if the OP - or some neighborhood pranksters - dumped HIS garbage all over his treelawn? He sounds like the type who would get physical over that - and yet he thinks it's OK for HIM to do that to his neighbor.

 

And yeah, yelling at the cops is kind of a red flag if you ask me.

 

I agree this is not proof that he'd do anything to his own blood. But I could understand being scared of him as a neighbor - and listening more closely when that family has its tiffs.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Just think i have a feeling everyone on here has gotten upset at someone yelled at someone and harmed anothers property. However again this guy does need some displine like community service and needs to offer an apology.

 

 

 

As you mature into adulthood, you will hopefully see that the reaction of the neighbor man was entirely out of control.

 

I have been extremely annoyed at my neighbor's dog barking late into the night, and may have fantasized about chucking bricks over the fence at the dog and his owner, but I haven't actually ACTED on that. That is what being an adult is all about. Moderating your emotions and behaving in a civil and appropriate manner. There is absolutely no excuse for him having dumped out her garbage.

[SKL]

And teenagers (including me) Oh! how terrible that all those kids are wife beaters at the age of 15:lol:

 

 

I think you might be missing the humor/sarcasm in some PPs' posts.

 

Since I just noticed you're 15, I'll just share a little life experience with you. Don't under any circumstances raise your voice to a cop. A grown man who does this is definitely out of control and someone to watch.

[FO4UR]

i never said i condone it.

However, all i was saying was that everyone is jumping to crazy conclusions

 

 

I don't think the conclusions are crazy.

 

The world looks different from the perspective of a woman. The man would probably not have had the same reaction to OP's husband, for ex.

 

 

Also, any person that cannot control their temper in front of their neighbors is a person that has even less control with his own family. That is basic people knowledge. Don't befriend/date a person who is mean to *anyone* b/c that mean streak will be directly aimed at you when the time is ripe. I've seen that play out over and over and over again...

 

 

When reasonable people have a bad day they destroy a pillow, go for a run, scream in a closet, eat chocolate, watch mindless TV, vent to other people, etc...they don't harass people.

[FO4UR]

Remember, when one is angry he contradicts everything that he believes

 

 

 

When one is in a state of high emotion, they are unable to cover up their true selves. He is a slave to everything that he believes, even if he knows that his actions will cost him.

 

He will be sorry for his own loss in the morning (his respect from neighbors, etc...), but I doubt he will be sorry for her loss (her security on her own property). In fact, it's likely that he would be offended that she mistrusts him from here on. (Pointing to his loss, disregarding hers.) Now I'm speculating about what he might feel...but I bet my lunch that I'm right.:tongue_smilie:

[mommaduck]

I think you might be missing the humor/sarcasm in some PPs' posts.

 

Since I just noticed you're 15, I'll just share a little life experience with you. Don't under any circumstances raise your voice to a cop. A grown man who does this is definitely out of control and someone to watch.

:iagree:Even my 15yr old is intelligent enough to know this. If you are continuing the issue by yelling at a cop, then something is either severely off in your attitude or something is seriously wrong with the entire situation. He may not be a wife beater, but something has gone wrong and he needs help of some sort, even if it's just some counseling.

 

My husband is one of the tamest people on earth, but the day after we lost our stillborn, he cussed out a guy at Walmart (he NEVER uses curse words!). He hung around afterwards though, till the man came back out, apologized, and told the man why he reacted as he did (that he had just lost a child and wasn't himself). He then came home and he and I attacked the overgrown bushes outside.

 

My guess is also that something went wrong in his head or his life. If he hasn't been a problem in the past, then this is probably a temporary issue and the OP just happened to be the wrong place, wrong time, and her dog just set off a spring that was already wound too tight.

 

OP, I'm sorry that this man scared you. It would have had me also. You did the right thing calling the cops. I hope he gets the help he needs.

[gardening momma]

PUT YOURSELF IN HIS SHOES?

Maybe he was worried that he was going to lose his job because of something that happened at work. Maybe he found a family memeber died. Maybe he was on booze so yeah that doesnt work, but suppose he was taking his trash out to get some peace and the dogs started barking and he lost it?

None of that is a valid excuse.

[mommaduck]

You implied that his actions were no big deal. They are a big deal. I agree that we cannot assume "wife beater", etc. However, it was still a serious situation.

Edited May 18, 2012 by mommaduck
poor grammar due to kid distraction

[gardening momma]

As you mature into adulthood, you will hopefully see that the reaction of the neighbor man was entirely out of control.

:iagree:

 

I think you might be missing the humor/sarcasm in some PPs' posts.

 

Since I just noticed you're 15, I'll just share a little life experience with you. Don't under any circumstances raise your voice to a cop. A grown man who does this is definitely out of control and someone to watch.

:iagree:

 

I didn't realize at first that you are 15. I can see that in the context of your posts. When you have another 15+ years experience under your belt, you'd interpret things differently. I find your responses very immature, but it's your age--lack of experience. Don't take it personally, it is what it is.

[sassenach]

I would get a restraining order. I don't think it really matters what brought the guy to that point. There was no excuse for that type of behavior and I would make it really clear that he is never allowed to interact with me on any level again. Period. A restraining order isn't a punishment, it's a boundary. Clearly, a boundary needs to be set.

[5kidsforME]

i never said i condone it.

However, all i was saying was that everyone is jumping to crazy conclusions

 

Are you a 15 year old boy or do you have a 15 year old boy?

[SKL]

When one is in a state of high emotion, they are unable to cover up their true selves. He is a slave to everything that he believes, even if he knows that his actions will cost him.

 

And, nobody can make a person more angry than the people he loves the most.

 

So if this guy loses it when he's angry about a neighbor's barking dog, it is not far-fetched to wonder if he loses it when angry at his wife and kids. Not at all.

[Moxie]

Um, am I the only one who thinks that this isn't the place for a 15 year old boy to hang out??

[SKL]

I didn't notice anyone saying he needed to go to jail over this incident. Just that the OP is scared and understandably so.

[5kidsforME]

Um, am I the only one who thinks that this isn't the place for a 15 year old boy to hang out??

 

Yeah. I seriously doubt it's a 15 year old boy anyway. What 15 year old boy would want to hang out on the WTM forums?

[gardening momma]

Oh and Gardenmom, I do have experience:

I appen to live across the street from a crime riddled, assault frenzy ghetto. To me this seems harmless to others this may seem terrible.

Gardenmom is someone else on this forum.

 

You do not have the experience of years. And why do you tell people not to jump to conclusions, and yet you assume that the guy was drinking?

[mommaduck]

Oh and Gardenmom, I do have experience:

I appen to live across the street from a crime riddled, assault frenzy ghetto. To me this seems harmless to others this may seem terrible.

I live IN a ghetto. It's not harmless. It's symptomatic of other issues or future issues.

[elegantlion]

It is a big deal. Its just not a extreme jail time involved deal. I said 2-3 times that the guy needs help.

 

Oh and Gardenmom, I do have experience:

I appen to live across the street from a crime riddled, assault frenzy ghetto. To me this seems harmless to others this may seem terrible.

 

I think the OP should get a restraining order and then have her kids stay away from their neighborhood's house. However, i do not think one should jump to conclusions that he is a wife beater and abuser because i have seen across the street people make those assumptions and blow the whole things into a massive fued and legal mess

 

I'm not going to say because you're 15 that you don't have enough life experience to comment. I also think it is somewhat admirable that you don't want to have this man condemned for one bad action. Obviously no on IRL is running over and accusing this man of beating his wife, but sometime it starts there. Welcome to a message board full of "opinions". Noting things on a board and proclaiming them IRL are two different things.

 

I've been around "angry" people, but there seems more to this individual than what transpired in this one incident. People having bad days don't just lash out at the neighbors and dump their trash and yell at the cops, especially the yell at cops.

 

Maybe he is mentally unstable and off his meds, maybe he got fired and his wife left him with his dog and his pick up all in one day. We don't know. All we have is the info in a post. I've seen a lot, but I've never had a neighbor go ballistic like that. It warrants further action, imo. I know my dh would be all over it somehow. I would not be dealing with said neighbor.

 

It doesn't slander a person to mention the possibility of an abuser. Many people on this board have real life experience with abusers in their lives or neighborhoods and it's worth mentioning. But no one is demanding the OP go stand in this driveway with cardboard signs announcing it. It is one of the possibilities, as is the fact he just had a no good awful day.

[Mimm]

I can understand her being scared. I might be too.

However, because of this incident he does not turn into a guy whoose an alcholic, wife beater, and child abuser like others on here are suggesting. The only evidence that we have is the one that points that he has serious serious anger mangament issues

 

Ok, and if someone who has serious anger management issues has to deal with an irritating child (and let's face it, when have you met a child who was NEVER irritating in their entire life?) or has a disagreement with his wife (which is normal in almost every marriage) and then what happens? They're lucky if screaming at them is the only thing he does. :( Sorry, but I'm not buying it. The guy sound unhinged. That it NOT at all normal behavior.

[sassenach]

People, stop feeding the troll!!

[gardening momma]

People, stop feeding the troll!!

He did start in the forums by asking a lot of curriculum questions. I'm not concerned that he's a troll. He just has no credibility in this thread.

[Teachin'Mine]

sorry gardening momma

did i put maybe? because i meant to do that if i didnt. Im not really that good at typing and when my blood rises i forget to put things that i am typing

 

If a thread like this causes you to become that angry, then it might be better not to read these types of threads. Curriculum choices and other academic matters are handled on the high school forum.

[Coffeetime]

Um, am I the only one who thinks that this isn't the place for a 15 year old boy to hang out??

 

:iagree:

[Teachin'Mine]

I guess I'm not the only one who's speechless. :tongue_smilie:

 

Just a heads up, it's against board rules to discuss politics here.

[gingersmom]

The police picked up the trash (I left it so they could see for themselves)

 

I rarely see my neighbors (mostly see/hear their children). I think the last time I saw crazy husband was at the bagel store 5 months ago (I know its been 5 months because I have been on Weight Watchers for that long and don't go to bagel store anymore :001_smile:) and the last time I saw wife was over 9 months ago (because she just had a baby and I didn't even know she was pregnant).

 

The weird thing is I was going out before and had parked my car across from my house. He backs out of his driveway and you can tell he is actively trying not to look in my direction (he was backing out his truck towards me so it was quite obvious)

 

I'm hoping he got a rude awakening last night and will save his temper tantrums for someone else.

 

I was actually thinking of getting a second dog before this happened and now I am thinking I should do it sooner rather than later. I have wanted another German Shepherd forever.