FloridaLisa Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 We've begun to hit the age where friends' dc are getting married. We're not there yet, but I have a feeling we may only a few years away. So, s/o of Georgianna's thread, what are some of the best ways you know to save money in giving a wedding? Also, share cost estimates if you are aware. I have a short list, as I'm just beginning to prepare: *buy several dresses online very inexpensively, bride decides which she likes and sells the others *order fresh flowers and arrange them yourself *coffee bar at reception *candy bar at reception *ask friends/relatives to sing, play during ceremony and reception *shop photography -- costs vary widely here from what I hear *ask a friend/relative to video *small wedding party *drive away in a nice loaned car, rather than a limo *Christmas weddings! Usually the church and often the reception area are well decorated and need little additional decoration. That's all I got. But I :bigear:. Thanks! Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delaney Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 I only know of doing them at places that do banquets and weddings but I do know that Friday night weddings are the cheapest in terms of catered/full service places. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hmvaughan4 Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 We had a Christmas wedding. Since we planned for over a year, we bought a lot of fake Christmas trees the year before for very cheap. We used those to decorate the reception hall. We also bought candles for centerpieces the Christmas before on clearance. Same with ribbon and other decor. Check the after Christmas sales. The ribbons and candles that we used were not Christmas-y, but sold with Christmas items. So they were included in after season clearance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Michelle* Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 Morning wedding with a brunch reception: omelet station, waffle station, lots of fruit, muffins, etc. Mimosas, fresh juice, and coffee to drink. (This is what I wanted, but my mom kind of took over. My parents were paying for it, so I just shrugged it off.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 (edited) February is a cheaper month, as long as it's not Valentine's day. Lunch buffets are much cheaper than dinner buffets. Instead of a large cake, have a small cake on each table as the centerpiece. Put a little sign with the flavor and your guests will mingle as they try the different flavors. We did this and it was a huge hit. The cakes looked nice, but not "wedding quality," but they actually tasted good. Fake flowers are much cheaper than real ones. We paid $300 to have a charicature artist at the reception. People that didn't like to dance had great fun watching draw their relatives. My most important point, is to make sure that people get enough to eat and have fun. We moved from the northeast where weddings are a big deal to a state where many people think a small salad and one slice of meatless lasagna is enough food. Dancing is also seen as optional. To me, not enough food (and these families could afford it) and no dancing equals boring, and I'm a pretty cheap person myself. eta: The wedding where I went home hungry wasn't advertised as a "light lunch." If it was, We would've eaten ahead of time. We were expecting a full meal, at least a buffet with meat and potatoes. DH also wore a tux was way overdressed. Even the groom was only in a suit. I don't understand weddings around here, at least in that social circle. Edited April 23, 2012 by HoppyTheToad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BMW Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 Knowing ahead of time to shop clearance is a great way to go!!! So, I second that. Looking up online at ideas and browsing a magazine on weddings and coming up with ideas to personalize it on your own... For example, my daughter and I painted our already owned wooden clothes pins a nice green and hot glued daisies on the end and clipped these onto name tags for place settings! We chose to keep it casual dress (shirt and tie, dresses in similar color) and put the money into food and ceremony costs. It was a destination wedding with just close family, so that kept costs way down and what we did spend was on the makings of a very memorable weekend away! But, it depends on the expectations and preferences. My other daughter and her fiance want a "full sha-bang" wedding, but they will save up and both sets of parents will "help". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lailasmum Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 (edited) Rather than expensive cut flower table centres and decorations try buying cheap pots of pretty seasonal plants from a garden centre and dressing the pot to disguise it. Would work really well with herbs like lavender and works particularly well in spring and summer with pots of bulbs. The plants can then be given as gifts to people who helped out. Another idea for centre pieces is shabby chic looking jam jars with ribbon tied around and filled with handful of sweet peas or cornflowers or similar. Edited April 23, 2012 by lailasmum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 In some areas you can rent a wedding dress like you do a tux. I borrowed a friend's wedding dress so the only cost to me was the dry cleaning afterwards. Limit the number of attendants. Dh and I each had 1--our sibling. My sister wore her dress from prom and his brother wore a suit he had from a different wedding. Since they didnt' have to match anyone else it was easy to have them wear what they already owned. I have not done it but could see it being done in more casual settings---a potluck reception. My friend (who is in her early 40s and never married) said that if she ever got married she would do that. She would ask several friends to make 2-3 bathches of certain items and that would be their gift. This obviously would work better in casual settings with close friends/family than in more formal settings. A valentines wedding could be cheaply decorated with clearance Christmas lights in white and/or red strands, the red ribbons, etc. Have a very casual reception. Instead of a formal sit down dinner, invite guests to wear (or bring) more casual clothes and have a pig roast or picnic type reception. Another recption I really liked was more of a table with snacks and everyone was just free to mingle and the bride and groom went around and mingled with various groups. As we are Baptists, most weddings we go to have no alcohol and no dancing so that again saves quite a bit of money. Very few people in our circles had limos (actually can't think of any) and most just drove away in their own cars. Most weddings are held at our church with the reception in the church gym. Rental costs are very minimal and guests dont' have to drive to another location for the reception. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FLDebbie Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 We got married at the beach, had a local BBQ place do the catering, my neice did the photography, and had only family and very close friends there for a total of about 40 people including kids. After the ceremony the entertainment for many people was changing into their bathing suits and going swimming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 It worked for us, but wouldn't for the vast majority of people (to put it mildly) Have a double wedding, more people paying for it. :) I suppose you could always get married at McDonals. :p http://news.nationalpost.com/2010/10/19/a-mcdonalds-wedding-the-mchappily-ever-after-meal/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 (edited) My sister LOVES flowers & wanted lots & lots of flowers at her ceremony (in a church). Of course, lots of flowers = lots of $$. Her wedding was later in the day & the church had an earlier wedding booked. My sister contacted the other bride to see if she had chosen a florist yet (she hadn't) & what type of flowers she was planning to have. My sister did have a particular florist she wanted to use & she asked the bride if she might be willing to use the same florist & they could both save $ that way. The other gal agreed. So, the florist decorated initially for the other wedding (w/ fewer flowers because that bride didn't want a lot of floral decoration), then just 'added on' floral decorations for my sister's wedding. Since it was the same florist, she coordinated flowers for both weddings so it looked good for each of them but didn't require separate decorating, rather just adding additional pieces for my sister. Both brides saved $ this way. Other ideas to save $$: - Don't do personalized things (like napkins, special cake cutting set, engraved glasses, etc...) - Don't do wedding favors - Don't let wedding magazines & everyone pressure you into thinking you must have 'xyz' if it's not something that's truly important to you - Decide what is important to you & spend most of your $ there (for me, it was the invitations & photography; for my sister, it was flowers) - Book either far in advance or last minute for the best savings on rental places - Consider getting married on a day other than a Saturday - Make your own centerpieces (stick to something simple like a candle in a hurricane lamp) or skip them altogether - If you do things yourself, make sure it's stuff you can prep in advance (seriously, the bride & her mom probably will have so many things to take care of last minute that you don't need the stress of 'fixing/doing' things); if friends step in, make sure they're reliable & will do what they say - If you're sharing a venue w/ another bride on the same day, get her # & see if there's anything you guys have in common as far as plans so you can share/split costs (like I explained above; this type of arrangement could also work for places where you need to rent tables & chairs; if you decorate using potted plants or strings of lights, etc... -- basically where one basic set-up can just stay up through the day & evening for both events) Edited April 23, 2012 by Stacia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 We had a Christmas wedding. Since we planned for over a year, we bought a lot of fake Christmas trees the year before for very cheap. We used those to decorate the reception hall. We also bought candles for centerpieces the Christmas before on clearance. Same with ribbon and other decor. Check the after Christmas sales. The ribbons and candles that we used were not Christmas-y, but sold with Christmas items. So they were included in after season clearance. We got married in February. Our colors were forrest green and neutrals. So, we, too, did really well at after-Christmas sales. We bought ribbon and all kinds of green stuff on clearance and used that to decorate. Our 1994 wedding came in at just about $3,000, including a two-night stay in Atlantic City. We had a small wedding and had the ceremony in a chapel-sized space, rather than the sactuary. The smaller room cost less to rent and was the right size for our event. We asked the choir with which I sang to do the music for us, in return for a small donation to the church. I bought a dress from the bridesmaid collection, rather than bridal, for under $200. (And it was exactly what I wanted!) We mail ordered my husband's tux, which was cheaper than renting. We designed and printed our own invitations, as well as the program and all of the other paper stuff. With the exception of a few corsages and boutoneires, we bought fake flowers, and I did all of the arrangements for the ceremony space. We had the reception at our apartment, rather than renting a space for that. We did rent tables, chairs and linen tableclothes, but it was still significantly less expensive than a hall. We rented large potted ivy to use for centerpieces, instead of buying flower arrangements. We strung fake ive (again purchased at the after-holiday sales) all over the living room and hung Christmas twinkle lights with it. We actually still have most of the ivy and use it to decorate the house for Christmas most years. We did desserts and beverages, not a meal. I made most of the food, even the cake. The one thing we purchased was a plate of really nice pastries from our favorite coffee house. We bought a Christmas ornament after the holidays to use as a cake topper. It now hangs on our tree every year. We gave little two-piece boxes of Godiva chocolates as favors. For Christmas the December before, they had offered the boxes in a lovely dark green. We asked them to set aside any extras after the season (for a discounted price) and had those filled at the time of the wedding. My husband made a bunch of tapes of music we loved to play during the reception. So, no DJ or band. That's all I can think of at the moment. As I've mentioned before, my one serious regret is not hiring a photographer. We went with handing out disposable cameras to guests, instead, and got not a single picture that can be called "good." A few years later, I took the best of them to a photo store and had them fixed up as best they could be (removing shadows, fixing color, cropping, etc.), but I'm still sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 We used a grocery store florist for our flowers. They were so beautiful that the priest even asked who our florist was. Church wedding reception at my aunts backyard. Dh traded her by putting in out door lights in all of her gardens, and repairing her deck. My mom and aunts made all of the food. We really spent very little money, which how I like it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 Early afternoon wedding, which only requires yummy wedding cake and very light refreshments, not to mention that you wouldn't need seating for all the guests, as they will be milling around talking with each other instead of sitting at a table only talking with the people there--a two-fer (no expense to rent many tables and chairs, guests get to enjoy the company of everyone there). Guests don't need "favors." Really. ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 We had our wedding at a local park with trees, vines, flowers, old stone arches, and so on for $45 an hour. No decorations needed! My MIL made the grooms cake, our church family cooked lunch for everyone, and we used fake flowers. David's bridal has dresses for $99, so I found one I loved for that price. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tess in the Burbs Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 Well we had a cheap wedding by most standards. We found a new golf club that opened a month before our wedding. they weren't booked and we got a good deal on the rooms and catering. My other find was due to my mom messing up, lol. We had picked a cake out but she forgot to place the order. We went to a grocery store(gasp!) the day before the wedding. We had no choice. It was $99. But my gosh, it was the most amazing cake! Tasted better than the bakery I had in mind. And it was larger than we had planned. So for the money consider the cheap option, you may be surprised :-) Obviously making your own centerpieces/flowers can save money. Most craft stores have plenty of ideas and coupons to get stuff on sale. I got cheap shoes to wear since it wouldn't be seen under the dress. Plain white shoes I only wore that day, lol. For jewelry gifts for the girls in the wedding Charming Charlies is cheap and has cute stuff! When my mom remarried she did her own food. froze it all before the wedding and paid a teen to set up and serve it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 We got married in a private ceremony, just the two of us, overseas as part of the honeymoon. But we had a reception when we got back (where we had a slide show of our wedding pictures, and later showed the wedding video). We did all the food ourselves, and did it at our house. We moved all the living room and most of the family room furniture out to the garage to make room for rented tables and chairs, and we had two tables outside as well, on the patio, for smokers. Because we were married in scotland I did Scottish food...I made ahead and froze all sorts of appetizers, and then did big trays of shepherds pie, homemade oatmeal bread, and potato leek soup. We bought the liquor at costco I think, and had soda and lemonade and coffee. We rented a big coffee thing when we rented the tables and linens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristineW Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 Choose things based on personal memories of the bride and groom. We had a cheesecake wedding cake that cost less than a regular cake but which fit us b/c our first date was at the Cheesecake Factory. DH proposed on the beach so our decorations were votives candles with sand and seashells (that we collected from where we were engaged over the course of two weeks). Bouquets can be much cheaper if you don't need roses or calla lilies or flowers that are out of season. I bought my gown at a sample sale. I found my veil and shoes on ebay. Its been 8 years but the book Bridal Bargains and its website as well as local boards on The Knot were extremely helpful in helping us stay on budget. Most of my family had church weddings and receptions in the hall. The family made the food the night before or ordered it from a favorite restaurant rather than through a catering company and used the church chafing ware. The more family can pitch in, the less it will cost. Hope this helps someone. Christine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Marple Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 (edited) We were married Easter weekend. I only added a couple of green ferns to the lilies already decorating the sanctuary. We used fake flowers - which are so dramatically improved in appearance today from that time :) - for the bridesmaids. We are having a wedding this June. To save money we are: *allowing the bridesmaids to purchase any dress (subject to bridal approval) but in a certain color *having it at my home (home of groom) - we have a large property with lots of pasture and oak trees. *the reception will be a dessert bar and coffee bar: pies, cupcakes, scones, brownies, and cookies (all *homemade by various family members) *no limo here - they will leave in my son's Tahoe :) *no special seating - we will use folding chairs from church and square hay bales. We are borrowing as many easily transported patio sets as we can find but we are not going to have table seating for all. *beverages will be: tea, lemonade, water, coffee *For decorations we are using stuff we have around the house: antique crocks and other antique/old kitchen things, an antique typewriter (for a table where attendees can write helpful advice for the newlyweds), 1950's style table cloths, picnic baskets, etc. *instead of individual programs we are making 2 large blackboards placed on easels on each side of the seating area. We will paint some large cheap frames purchased at Goodwill. *borrowing shepherd's hooks to hang a couple of flower baskets near the "altar" area (which is under a big oak tree) We went to a wedding this weekend that was very similar to what we have planned. One cute thing they did was to cut logs about 10 inches tall (about 10-12 inches in diameter). They placed one of these about every 5 rows of chairs on the ground in the aisle. On top they placed a large canning jar with wild flowers. They didn't have a wedding or grooms cake. Instead they opted for a bridal pie with a ceramic bride and groom in the center. It was really cute and tasty. And purchasing flowers from Sam's Club a day before the wedding is also a great $$ saver. My niece did that. She had a friend who made the corsages, etc. the day or two before the wedding. Edited April 23, 2012 by CynthiaOK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen in NS Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 Things we did, because we had very little money. I think we spent around $350 total. * Found my dress (not a gown) on a Jordan Marsh clearance rack, $35. Off-white, lace over a plain sheath. * I wore a faux-pearl necklace and earrings that a former teacher had given me for my high school graduation. * Made my own veil with materials found in discount surplus store. * Made my own bouquet, bridesmaids' bouquets, and flower-pins for the men from fake flowers from the discount surplus store. * My aunt and uncle made a gorgeous carrot cake as a gift to us. * A local pastor let us use his church and small reception hall, for free. * Another pastor agreed to perform the wedding when another ordained friend of mine couldn't do it. * A friend did photography for us, as a gift. * Another friend coordinated a potluck reception for us. Since it was a 1 p.m. wedding, that was easy. Anytime anyone asked us if there was something they could do to help, we referred them to the potluck coordinator. She had people bring cut up veggies and fruit, chocolates, cheese and deli meat, breads, soda, fruit juice, and I can't remember what else. She arranged everything on buffet tables. * I bought inexpensive but pretty paper plates, napkins, cups from a local surplus discount store. * My husband's mother found a tux for him for $10 in a thrift store. * The groomsmen (just three) wore dark suits - whatever they had in their closets. * The bridesmaids wore dresses (from their closets) that had similar colours in them (colours that I had put into the bouquets and that the disposable dishes had in them - all in fashion at the time, so easy to find in dresses). I couldn't see the point in making them buy a pricey dress they would only wear once. * I bought some decorations from that surplus discount store - I think I had paper streamers and maybe a few other things...friends helped decorate the reception area the night before, and made it look nice. I also bought off-white ribbon and fashioned bows for the church pews. * Found my off-white shoes (Nine West, even!) for $10 at the surplus store. * My mother bought take-out pizza for people to eat after the rehearsal It was very simple - simple ceremony, simple reception; and even after all that we were still exhausted when we left the reception at 5 p.m. or so. But I got so many compliments afterwards about the simplicity and practicality of it all. And like Ellie described above, people had a great time just milling about at the reception - thankfully it was sunny because they could go outside and mill about on the lawn, too. It was like a big picnic. People really seemed relaxed. I remember back in 1984 when my cousin got married - I was a bridesmaid and my grandparents paid for my outfit because my mother couldn't afford it. Anyway, I remember sitting in my cousin's house, listening to my aunt and uncle talking about the wedding, and how it had cost them $10,000 and they'd taken out a loan for it. I was bowled over. This was almost 30 years ago! I can't believe that so many regular (as in, not rich) people pay so much for a one-day event. Anyway, Lisa, hope this inspires you, too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen in NS Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 We are having a wedding this June. To save money we are: *allowing the bridesmaids to purchase any dress (subject to bridal approval) but in a certain color *having it at my home (home of groom) - we have a large property with lots of pasture and oak trees. *the reception will be a dessert bar and coffee bar: pies, cupcakes, scones, brownies, and cookies (all *homemade by various family members) *no limo here - they will leave in my son's Tahoe :) *no special seating - we will use folding chairs from church and square hay bales. We are borrowing as many easily transported patio sets as we can find but we are not going to have table seating for all. *beverages will be: tea, lemonade, water, coffee *For decorations we are using stuff we have around the house: antique crocks and other antique/old kitchen things, an antique typewriter (for a table where attendees can write helpful advice for the newlyweds), 1950's style table cloths, picnic baskets, etc. *instead of individual programs we are making 2 large blackboards placed on easels on each side of the seating area. We will paint some large cheap frames purchased at Goodwill. *borrowing shepherd's hooks to hang a couple of flower baskets near the "altar" area (which is under a big oak tree) I love it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scuff Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 To modify your first idea, rather than buy a bunch of dresses that you now have to sell (who wants that hastle), go try some on at a bridal shop and then buy the one you like on line cheaply. I sold my sil's dress on ebay when she canceled her wedding. The woman who bought it got it for half price and it had all the extras (bag, veil, netting underthing). She had tried it on and went looking and was thrilled to find the exact dress that she wanted. My frugal advice from my wedding: we did the food ourselves and served it buffet style. If you go this route, still have someone there to serve. Otherwise the first guests can over serve themselves and the food doesn't go as far as you thought. Also, if you're having a spring or summer wedding, the drinks aren't going to go very far. We had 1 1/2 xs what GFS estimates said we needed, but it was gone before we even got to the reception. My aunt had to do an emergency run to the store for more punch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m0mmaBuck Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 Here are a few things we did: We bought the flowers (at cost) from a friend who is a florist and she did the arrangements as her gift to us. Other variations of this are to plant the flowers yourself and then pick them for the bouquet or buy the flowers and arrange them yourself. Another friend who does cakes did our cake as our wedding gift. The Altar Society at my parent's Church cooked the food. We just paid cost for the chicken, potatoes, and so on, and then tipped the ladies after it was done. It came out to about $3/plate with tip (back in '97). I borrowed the wedding gown. I know that doesn't work for everyone, but my friend and I were the same size and she wasn't planning to use the dress again. The bridesmaids chose and paid for their own dresses. They decided they would all buy the same one, but they didn't have to. I just wanted them to be the same color. Limit drink selections. Punch, water, coffee... We had beer as well but for many that is not wanted/necessary. We rented decorations (glass bowls with mirrors) and floated candles in them for centerpieces. I remember the rental was 25cents/bowl and 25cents/mirror and I bought the candles when they were 4/$1. DON'T skimp on the photographer. Once the day is done, what the bride and groom have to remember it by is the pictures. Shop around, but don't pick one based entirely on price. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scuff Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 We found a great photographer that worked for himself out o his house. He charged quite a bit less than the studio places we went to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 The only thing people will remember about a wedding is whether or not the food/booze was good and if the entertainment was good. Everything else you can skimp on. No one will remember your flowers, your centerpieces, your bridesmaid dresses, your wedding favors, etc. but if the food or the DJ/band is terrible that will stand out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenangelcat Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 We did ours really cheaply. At the time, hubby worked retail so we drove to the warehouses in T.O and bought everything we needed for decor including very convincing fake flowers. We decorated the hall ourselves and took it down after the reception. Food was buffet style. Very small wedding party. Rented a classic car and hired an amateur photographer. We splurged on the cake and the dress. I originally bought a cheap slinky dress but changed my mind and bought an expensive poofy one instead. Went camping for the honeymoon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 The only thing people will remember about a wedding is whether or not the food/booze was good and if the entertainment was good. Everything else you can skimp on. No one will remember your flowers, your centerpieces, your bridesmaid dresses, your wedding favors, etc. but if the food or the DJ/band is terrible that will stand out. Hee Hee you reminded me of my wedding. The carter made a mistake and replaced all vegetarian items with meat something. So I got bread and water for my wedding. It was good bread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Marple Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 if the entertainment was good. Totally off topic from the OP, but these are 2 weddings that we and our friends still discuss years after the fact. The groom hired an interpretive dancer to dance to a special song for his bride. He was well over 50 years old, long graying hair with a large bald spot, dressed in white pj looking attire, barefoot. I know it was supposed to be a thoughtful, serious aspect of the ceremony, but everyone around us got tickled and we could hardly suppress the chuckles. Everyone in our circle of friends still talks about it years later. Definitely worth the attendance just for the show :) Another standout is the one where the mother of the groom was a part of a duet. The other part of the duet was a male who played the piano. This lady started singing and was so off key I thought it was a joke at first (in my defense, the pastor had made a few jokes already). The bridesmaids just in front of her were looking sick trying to contain their laughter, my husband snorted and I had to pinch him to keep him from doing it again. After the ceremony we gently and quietly asked a friend of the bride if the song was a joke. She said it was not and that everyone had been worried about how it would come off. But the mother was insistent that she sing for her son. It was a sweet gesture, but really didn't come off well. I have informed my son and his bride to be that I will not sing nor dance for them at their wedding. I will make desserts and coffee because I know I can do that and I know that people like my cooking :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjzimmer1 Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 We had a summer wedding. I bought silk flowers (with coupons) and made my own bouquets. Since it was summer, I used cut flowers from my parents yard for the front of the church and decorating the cake. Our wedding was at 1:00 and so we didn't have a full meal. I just served cheese and crackers and fresh veggies (that I bought in bulk from the farmer's market a couple of days before), cake and punch. We had a small tiered cake for pictures but served most of the guests from sheet cakes we had in the kitchen. Reception was held in the church so no separate reception hall and we didn't have a dance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeninok Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 Cross posted from the other wedding thread, We got married 11/09, it was a second wedding for both of us, and we had been living together for 5 years before the wedding. It was fully an affirmation of our already established committed life together. Our wedding was about 2000, for 50 people, including photography and the officiant. Who was willing to customize the ceremony to fit exactly what we wanted. We included DS in part of it, and had a reading by Madeleine L'engle. I actually did it at my parent's house in their backyard, they have a big beautiful but comfortable home, so I just didn't see the need to rent out a place. We had a big tent, with lights and flowers, and did the food and music ourselves. Our flowers came from Sam's, a lot of the food came from Sam's and was prepped that week by me and my best friend. We did order chicken and beef from a local restaurant. Sam's will let you order what you want from a list and have it ready to pick up on the day you choose. We also had wine and beer, that I ordered at wholesale prices through a friend. My dress came from Dillard's, it was an adorable tea length white dress with a heart neckline...it cost all of 45 dollars on sale. Originally it had been closer to 200. I also made all of the invitations myself, and the favor bags, and wrapped silverware in napkins and ribbons etc etc. It really helped to be crafty, and to have a really great best friend to help with it all. Our favors were just jellybeans in our wedding colors, but they looked super cute on the tables. It was a lot of work, for such a small wedding, but I cherish it, it was exactly the wedding we both wanted. The combination of a big tent, and tiny white lights was beautiful, the tent was a big blow to the budget, but totally worth it in case it drizzled, and also for the ambiance it created. My mom had a couple of people she knew drive by their house that night who commented it looked like a fairyland :) DH spent weeks making CDs and arranging the songs in the right order, everyone loved the music and had a great time dancing. We could have done it for less had we not had alcohol or done less food, but I wanted plenty of both, we did stick to only beer and wine though. I just feel like if I am going to have a party of any kind, I am going to feed people, so especially on our wedding I wanted them full and happy. What didn't get used that night, was used through the holidays for the rest of the year. :) Let me see if I can get these links to a couple of the pictures working. I'd be happy to show more, or give links to the entire albums if anyone wants to see them. http://i728.photobucket.com/albums/w...s/IMG_1253.jpg http://i728.photobucket.com/albums/w...s/IMG_1260.jpg http://i728.photobucket.com/albums/w...oklahoma37.jpg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arghmatey Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 Get married at the courthouse. Save all money you intended to spend on a wedding for pre-marital and post-marital counseling. Shift the focus and the money from the wedding to the marriage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arghmatey Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 Totally off topic from the OP, but these are 2 weddings that we and our friends still discuss years after the fact. The groom hired an interpretive dancer to dance to a special song for his bride. He was well over 50 years old, long graying hair with a large bald spot, dressed in white pj looking attire, barefoot. I know it was supposed to be a thoughtful, serious aspect of the ceremony, but everyone around us got tickled and we could hardly suppress the chuckles. Everyone in our circle of friends still talks about it years later. Definitely worth the attendance just for the show :) Another standout is the one where the mother of the groom was a part of a duet. The other part of the duet was a male who played the piano. This lady started singing and was so off key I thought it was a joke at first (in my defense, the pastor had made a few jokes already). The bridesmaids just in front of her were looking sick trying to contain their laughter, my husband snorted and I had to pinch him to keep him from doing it again. After the ceremony we gently and quietly asked a friend of the bride if the song was a joke. She said it was not and that everyone had been worried about how it would come off. But the mother was insistent that she sing for her son. It was a sweet gesture, but really didn't come off well. I have informed my son and his bride to be that I will not sing nor dance for them at their wedding. I will make desserts and coffee because I know I can do that and I know that people like my cooking :) I have never literally choked to death laughing out loud over anything I've read on the Internet. Until I read about the interpretive dancing man. Ha! Hilarious! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeninok Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 Get married at the courthouse. Save all money you intended to spend on a wedding for pre-marital and post-marital counseling. Shift the focus and the money from the wedding to the marriage. We had considered this long and hard, and also considered just eloping and having a small honeymoon. But we ultimately decided that for us, we wanted to share our joy with our family and friends and celebrate our decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 Loving this thread and taking notes! It's never too early to gather good ideas. If anyone had told me a year ago we'd be at this stage I'd have fainted. DD never dated through high school, then BOOM. True love can, evidently, zap that quickly! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 Get married at the courthouse. Save all money you intended to spend on a wedding for pre-marital and post-marital counseling. Shift the focus and the money from the wedding to the marriage. This is exactly what I told the kids (to me they're kids, LOL!) Take the time to plan your life, not just the wedding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaz Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 A big hit at our wedding - fruit and cheese trays as centerpieces instead of flowers! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FloridaLisa Posted April 24, 2012 Author Share Posted April 24, 2012 Wow! I just popped back on to see what you all came up with and there are some great ideas! I love many of these ideas. This isn't a frugal idea, but a great idea for friends asking how they can help. My very good friend asked me to make lunch, drinks and healthy snacks for the bridal party to eat before the wedding. Many of times, the bridal party shows up hours before the wedding to take pictures and get ready and they are *starving* before getting to the reception. I loved doing this for her and especially liked getting a sneak peek on this special day as they were setting up and getting ready. Keep the suggestions coming. :001_smile: Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tearose Posted April 24, 2012 Share Posted April 24, 2012 Some of these things have been mentioned, but here are a few things I did to save money: --lunch reception (we wanted a full meal, since he had many guests who traveled from afar) --cupcakes and small cake to cut from local co-op grocery store. they had a great bakery, and it was significantly cheaper than wedding-specific options. I got some reasonably priced tiers from Wilton to arrange them. --print your own invitations from Target. Keep an eye on the clearance items--I see them there every few months. They're normally about $30-some for 50, but I have definitely seen them at 75% off (and if you can't get enough matching ones, your guests will never know that they didn't receive identical invitations). --got married the Saturday after Easter so the church was overflowing with lilies and other flowers --flowers from Costco (a friend had done bouquets and boutonierres for for her sister's wedding and still had all the supplies, so she did it for me as a wedding present) --photographer who was photo editor of the student newspaper at the local university--he did not charge much for his time, and we got CDs with all the pictures (pros often charge a lot for that) In my case, a local boutique hotel with a well-regarded restaurant was the best value. The food was much better than your average reception location, and the price was very reasonable for what we got. They also included a simple flower centerpiece, which meant one less thing I had to worry about. I found that cheap/free locations were often more expensive once I factored in catering costs and renting tables, chairs, linens, etc. It was important to DH and I that we have a nice meal, so the bulk of our budget went towards that, and we didn't bother with a lot of things like limousine/car, band, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jpoy85 Posted April 24, 2012 Share Posted April 24, 2012 We made our wedding cake, my wedding dress was a white prom dress, a friend did my hair for free, my flowers were fake and came from the $ store, hubby wore a dress shirt and pants rather than a tux, hubbys grandma did the reception at her house and made the food (no music or anything), We stayed at a themed hotel for 1 night for our honey moon, the church was my dads church and we were married by my dad. Hubbys ring came from K mart and mine came from Walmart. It was cheap CHEAP cheap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momof3littles Posted April 24, 2012 Share Posted April 24, 2012 We got married in early December. -A year in advance I purchased a lot of decor for 75% off or more during Michaels and AC Moore's Christmas clearance. We didn't have an obvious "Christmas" theme, but used blue and silver and did more of a wintery type of theme. There were lots of deals that could be useful year-round, like the lovely, nice, wired ribbon in colors like burgundy and gold, or silver and white. They didn't all scream "Christmas." -I was on a wedding planning website and made friends with someone there who was a graphic designer. She was really sweet and did the text for our wedding program for me. We printed them on heavy card stock, I used ribbon to thread through them, and they turned out very lovely IMO. -Because we were getting married in Dec, the reception site already had several large trees up, which filled the space with some nice decor. We purchased glass ornaments for 75 and 90 percent off in silver and blue, used a paint pen to write our names and the date on them, and used those as our favors. (fwiw, I think favors are totally unnecessary but if that's important to them there are lots of inexpensive ideas). We hung them on a tree and our guests took them on their way out. -we spent on food, and had a nice sit-down dinner. We did not have a true open bar, but did have beer, wine, and champagne available all night. No mixed drinks (no open bar or cash bar). If they plan to do alcohol, another idea would be just to serve a signature drink, wine, and beer. Or skip it altogether to save money, or if you are morally opposed to alcohol. -I ordered my own flowers and then did simple ribbon wrapped stems on the roses. They turned out lovely. The downside is they were supposed to arrive two days prior, and they were stuck in transit because there was a blizzard in the midwest. So I was left scrambling. That's the not so good side. Some flowers like calla lillies look elegant with just 3-5 w/ the stems wrapped, or a single large calla carried by each bridesmaid -my flower girl dresses were 6.99 each at the JC Penney outlet. Confirmation dresses I think, but they were fine :) My flower girl's family was on a budget, so I just picked it up and sent it to them, and then they bought or had shoes that worked. -We paid for our limo by the hour. Just mentioning wedding meant a markup that was substantial. So we paid by the hour and had a (gasp!) black limo instead of white. Totally fine with me. -at the church we had some simple arrangements, some ivy I think, and then we filled in with pointsettias, which are quite inexpensive. -I found a swarovski necklace I wanted, but it was almost as much as my dress. I saw it in a magazine, and it was $300+. I ended up finding it on ebay for 70 dollars, and still have it. It was something I really wanted, and I found a way to make it work into my budget. -I wore gloves and had a small purse for my lipstick and a few other items. Both of those were white and from the "prom" section of a store vs. a wedding shop. Same thing for significantly less money. We had considered eloping, had also considered courthouse plus a sit down dinner at a really elegant restaurant with just a few close friends and family, but ultimately ended up with a full wedding and reception. My parents always said elope if you can manage it, and save the money. Until their only daughter considered it. Then they didn't want me to go that route ;) In retrospect, I'm glad we didn't overspend, I think we made compromises and still have a lovely and elegant wedding, and I'm happy we got to celebrate with our friends and family. There are sooo many more sources out there now-Pinterest for DIY ideas, etsy for invites, decor, cake decorations, accessories, jewelry, headpieces, etc. A blessing and a curse I suppose! Many more choices, but there is some great DIY info out there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted April 24, 2012 Share Posted April 24, 2012 Elope. Get married with two witnesses. Have a dinner for the immediate family (parents, siblings and grandparents of the couple) at some later point. Throw an informal garden party for friends and acquaintances at a different time. That's what we did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted April 24, 2012 Share Posted April 24, 2012 We were paying for the wedding ourselves so this is what we did: * Got married in December. The church was already beautifully decorated with lights, greenery, and poinsettas. * Colors were red, black, and white. The bridesmaids wore red tops with black skirts. I wore a red dress. The men wore rented traditional black tuxes. Looking back, I would change it to black dresses, their choice. * My flower girl wore a traditional red Christmas dress. * My sister and her friends sang during the ceremony. The best wedding present we received. * I printed out the programs on nice paper and then hole-punched and threaded red ribbon through the holes. A boring task I worked on in the weeks before the wedding. * Bought two boxes of roses from Sam's (400 total) and used it for decorations. My hubby and I have a huge family so we put them to work making the bouquets and the table decorations. The flowers were cut to the same length and wrapped with wide satin ribbon. The bridesmaids had white flowers with red ribbon and I had red flowers with white ribbon. * Extra rose petals were tossed at the end of the night. * My aunt brought many bags of greenery cut from her holly bushes. * We opted to have a night wedding with a buffet. Greenery and roses were tucked amongst the dishes and the tables had red roses and greenery as the centerpiece. I bought tall shot glasses and placed a couple roses in the glasses with some greenery. The reception hall provided mirrors, but they can also be purchased fairly cheap from an online or a big box craft store. I also placed a few tea lights around the table. * The cake was simple with red roses decorating the layers and a wedding Lladro figurine as the cake topper. The cake topper was gift from my grandmother. If you have a good friend who is a trusted baker, making 2-3 levels and decorating them with simple white icing isn't hard, just time consuming. I recommend the Cake Bible by Rose Levy Beranbaum for tips on baking wedding cakes. * If serving alcohol, serve a heavy beer. Although more expensive, it sits heavier and lasts longer than lighter beers. This saved us so much money. Things I would have changed: * Don't spend so much money on the wedding dress. A friend got married in $100 dress and got it tailored. In wedding photos, you can't tell a difference between my dress and hers. I wouldn't purchase a bunch of dresses and sell them. Buy dresses from a store with a lenient return policy. * Don't have a relative videotape! We asked someone we trusted and we never received the tape. If you want video, hire someone. * Be careful about the photographer. My husband is a photographer and very particular. He found someone who he considered to be "the best" in the area and we paid accordingly. The day of the wedding, we found out the photographer had already done two weddings that day. The quality of the pictures was VERY poor. Ask the photographer about his or her booking policy. Frugal wedding tips I've seen and enjoyed: * Couple got married on a resort stay and then hosted a reception for family when they got back. * Afternoon weddings (2-3 pm) are cheaper with light snack foods acceptable for the reception. * Create a wedding music playlist and forget about the DJ. Most of the time, they add nothing to reception and can make easily make it very bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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