How much driving do you do for your children's activities??

[Gingerbread Mama]

I'm really tired of living in a rural area. It's just suburban enough that we don't really have any "land" to speak of (decent sized yard, but not big enough or far enough out of town for the kids to have chickens or goats or anything..), but the area is so rural that venues for enrichment are limited. For instance, we are:

 

1 hour from a strip mall, 1.5 hours from what I would consider a "decent" mall

 

2 hours from a zoo, botanical garden, childrens museum

 

4 hours from an aquarium

 

30 minutes from a decent library (there is one less than a mile from our house, but the selection for kids is pitiful) I had to pay for a membership to this library as it is out of state (small fee, though, totally worth it)

 

30 minutes from anything besides a Walmart for shopping of any kind (big CVS/Walgreens type pharmacy, Kmart, "nice" Walmart - we have one, it stinks)

 

1 hour from a Target :glare: That one really hacks me off LOL

 

We are 30 min from a bowling alley/skate rink. So to even do "active" things we have to drive.

 

Even just "everyday" lesson/group type things:

 

Horse riding lessons - the closest I've found is 30-45 minutes away

 

Karate - again 30 minutes

 

Piano/Guitar - 20 miuntes for the nearest teacher, but only one of my children would do well with this woman. To find someone a bit more "current" in their music selections (as in, something my kids might want to actually PLAY, would be closer to 30 minutes)

 

Gymnastics - 30 minutes

 

Boy/Girl Scouts or similar groups - minimum of 30 minutes, up to 1.5 hours We do *have* a group of each here, but I've tried them out and we don't fit in. The GS are far too liberal a group for us, the BS had many problem kids in the troop - I have a kid that is a follower, I don't need kids modeling BAD behavior for him. So, I could try another troop but would have the drive time above.

 

Sports - 30 minutes away. We have kept trying our Parks and Rec for the kids to play sports. It is very poorly organized by the director and many seasons (the soccer we are *trying* to play now, don't really have enough kids to play) just never really get pulled off. I could take them to a big Sportsplex, that's 30 min away.

 

Even a church that I feel comfortable in would be about 30 minutes away. The church I grew up in is 5 min from my house, my kids would be the ONLY youth there, though. There is another church 5 min in the other direction that is "the" church for youth, but I find it very difficult to feel at home there. It's too "commerical" or something, can't explain it. I just know most people moved church homes to this church from the last "in" church. I don't like that at all.

 

I don't know. I just feel very out of sorts being here. I would like my children to be able to take lessons and participate in groups/sports that are well run. I'd like to take them to museums and the zoo without it being an ordeal.

 

If I put them in everything I want them to do/they'd like to do - we would have to live out of our car. I know we could move even 2 hours from here and be much closer to what I'm looking for. DH doesn't want to move. We both grew up here. He hasn't been here regularly in almost 5 years, since the kids were basically babies, due to his job. I think he has built it up to be this romantic small town in his mind. I also think he is remembering how it was when we were small, and it wasn't quite so behind most of the other areas around us. It's like time has stood still in this town, all around us are these areas that are blooming and growing. Even our own mayor admits that something has got to happen here, the town is just falling by the wayside. Everytime DH and I talk about it, we both end up angry. He says I'm not proud of where I'm from (big whoop), I say he isn't giving our kids a fair chance at growing up with important childhood experiences. My parents did A TON of schleping me to other places so I never grew up thinking this was *it*, DH's family rarely went anywhere when he was growing up. Honestly, a big part of my dislike for living here is that DH's family all lives here and, while HE doesn't mind them dropping by unannounced or popping up everywhere *I* do. I think he would mind it more if he had to deal with it all the time, it's hard to understand how annoying it is when you are only "home" a handful of days a year.... My uncle moved to Phoenix and he did tell me that while they have all these things - it is still a drive for him to go everywhere. Sometimes comparable to the drives I'd be making now....the only upside is they have mass transit and he can sometimes get a "locals" deal on membership/admission. So that got me thinking, how far do other people drive for their children's activities? Maybe what I'm looking at isn't SO bad, perhaps I'm letting my other feelings influence how I feel about the driving.

Edited April 23, 2012 by Gingerbread Mama

[ThisIsTheDay]

We moved to a new state and chose to live in the country. We were 20 mins. from the nearest town/grocery store. Our church, all of my kids' activities, and decent shopping were an hour away. We were driving into "town" (the hour away) four to six times a week. In the meantime, I also began to hate how far we were from any emergency services.

 

We moved back into the suburbs. Now I'm driving an hour each way to work three times a week, but it's just me in the car instead of dragging along dh and dc. I am so happy being close to the grocery store, the gas station, the highway, LIFE, and right around the corner from my kids' game field.

 

We've been here for two years. Even today, I said to dh how glad I am that we are close to everything.

 

:auto:

[Ellie]

I'm really tired of living in a rural area. It's just suburban enough that we don't really have any "land" to speak of (decent sized yard, but not big enough or far enough out of town for the kids to have chickens or goats or anything..), but the area is so rural that venues for enrichment are limited. For instance, we are:

 

1 hour from a strip mall, 1.5 hours from what I would consider a "decent" mall

 

2 hours from a zoo, botanical garden, childrens museum

 

4 hours from an aquarium

 

30 minutes from a decent library (there is one less than a mile from our house, but the selection for kids is pitiful) I had to pay for a membership to this library as it is out of state (small fee, though, totally worth it)

 

30 minutes from anything besides a Walmart for shopping of any kind (big CVS/Walgreens type pharmacy, Kmart, "nice" Walmart - we have one, it stinks)

 

1 hour from a Target :glare: That one really hacks me off LOL

 

We are 30 min from a bowling alley/skate rink. So to even do "active" things we have to drive.

 

Even just "everyday" lesson/group type things:

 

Horse riding lessons - the closest I've found is 30-45 minutes away

 

Karate - again 30 minutes

 

Piano/Guitar - 20 miuntes for the nearest teacher, but only one of my children would do well with this woman. To find someone a bit more "current" in their music selections (as in, something my kids might want to actually PLAY, would be closer to 30 minutes)

 

Gymnastics - 30 minutes

 

Boy/Girl Scouts or similar groups - minimum of 30 minutes, up to 1.5 hours We do *have* a group of each here, but I've tried them out and we don't fit in. The GS are far too liberal a group for us, the BS had many problem kids in the troop - I have a kid that is a follower, I don't need kids modeling BAD behavior for him. So, I could try another troop but would have the drive time above.

 

Sports - 30 minutes away. We have kept trying our Parks and Rec for the kids to play sports. It is very poorly organized by the director and many seasons (the soccer we are *trying* to play now, don't really have enough kids to play) just never really get pulled off. I could take them to a big Sportsplex, that's 30 min away.

 

Even a church that I feel comfortable in would be about 30 minutes away. The church I grew up in is 5 min from my house, my kids would be the ONLY youth there, though. There is another church 5 min in the other direction that is "the" church for youth, but I find it very difficult to feel at home there. It's too "commerical" or something, can't explain it. I just know most people moved church homes to this church from the last "in" church. I don't like that at all.

 

I don't know. I just feel very out of sorts being here. I would like my children to be able to take lessons and participate in groups/sports that are well run. I'd like to take them to museums and the zoo without it being an ordeal.

 

If I put them in everything I want them to do/they'd like to do - we would have to live out of our car. I know we could move even 2 hours from here and be much closer to what I'm looking for. DH doesn't want to move. We both grew up here. He hasn't been here regularly in almost 5 years, since the kids were basically babies, due to his job. I think he has built it up to be this romantic small town in his mind. I also think he is remembering how it was when we were small, and it wasn't quite so behind most of the other areas around us. It's like time has stood still in this town, all around us are these areas that are blooming and growing. Even our own mayor admits that something has got to happen here, the town is just falling by the wayside. Everytime DH and I talk about it, we both end up angry. He says I'm not proud of where I'm from (big whoop), I say he isn't giving our kids a fair chance at growing up with important childhood experiences. My parents did A TON of schleping me to other places so I never grew up thinking this was *it*, DH's family rarely went anywhere when he was growing up. Honestly, a big part of my dislike for living here is that DH's family all lives here and, while HE doesn't mind them dropping by unannounced or popping up everywhere *I* do. I think he would mind it more if he had to deal with it all the time, it's hard to understand how annoying it is when you are only "home" a handful of days a year.... My uncle moved to Phoenix and he did tell me that while they have all these things - it is still a drive for him to go everywhere. Sometimes comparable to the drives I'd be making now....the only upside is they have mass transit and he can sometimes get a "locals" deal on membership/admission. So that got me thinking, how far do other people drive for their children's activities? Maybe what I'm looking at isn't SO bad, perhaps I'm letting my other feelings influence how I feel about the driving.

Well, I have almost always driven at least half an hour to get to most things, and I've always lived in the city. :-)

 

However, I won't drive every day for activities; and I won't drive to enrichment activities that take place before, oh, 4 in the afternoon. I want to be *home* during the day, or doing something with just my dc, not trying to fit into other people's plans.

 

For example, for many years we went to the library every Wednesday, and we went in the morning; I almost always went to the library in a near-by town because of its size, and it took at least half an hour to get there. But it was just us, and it was all I had planned for that day. We didn't have any real outside activities (sports, classes of some kind, etc.) until we left for church in the evening.

 

We left the house every Thursday for a field trip, and you bet we usually drove much longer than half an hour...but again, it was just us, on our own schedule, and I didn't plan anything else that day.

 

Dance or sports were community activities, so they were always in the late afternoon or early evening when most children were out of school. We could stay home all day, and we were finished with whatever we were doing, with no pressure, by the time we needed to leave the house.

 

I would definitely not leave the house every day to go do someone else's activities/classes/whatnot.

[FairProspects]

Well, I have almost always driven at least half an hour to get to most things, and I've always lived in the city. :-)

 

:iagree:Just with traffic nearly everything is 20-30 min away. I do get the jist of what you are saying though and limiting the drive time during the day is very important. We just don't plan activities before 4 pm, except for the piano teacher's house which is 5 min. away.

[KungFuPanda]

Well I can't have chickens either, but here are our stats

 

Nice mall - 5 min.

 

zoo, botanical garden, childrens museum - 20 min to one major city, 45 min to another

 

aquarium -20 min

 

Library - we're between branches. 5 minutes either direction. It's a ten minute drive to the newly renovated one with a rooftop garden.

 

We have ALL the chains

 

8 minutes to Target

 

5 minutes to bowling alley and we can walk to the ice rink

 

Even just "everyday" lesson/group type things:

 

Horse riding lessons - I would have to drive 20 minutes for horses

 

Karate - there must be 10 martial arts schools in a 10 mile radius. However, we can just go downstairs because DH teaches Aikido in our home studio.

 

Piano/Guitar - we have a friendwho runs a School of Rock (ducking)

 

Gymnastics - 3 in less than 10 minutes

 

Boy/Girl Scouts or similar groups - 15 minutes

 

Sports - to many to count in a 5 mile radius

 

We can walk to church. We like the 6 pm Saturday service so we don't have to get up early on weekends :D

 

 

Can your family move closer to dhs work? That sounds like a bigger strain than driving to activities. Why does he want you to live there if he isn't?

 

Now, I know I sounded cocky with all of my answers up there, but we can't even use the local sports. Dd isn't sporty and ds is in a wheelchair. We're more grateful to live near quality medical facilities. We also appreciate all of the sidewalks and paved bike paths.

 

I grew up in the country, so I get the advantages, but things have gone so downhill in my hometown (let's call it a town) that moving back there would not give my kids the experience I had. I have nieces and nephews living there and it's nothing like it was 25 years ago.

Edited April 23, 2012 by KungFuPanda

[Gingerbread Mama]

Can your family move closer to dhs work? That sounds like a bigger strain than driving to activities. Why does he want you to live there if he isn't?

 

Now, I know I sounded cocky with all of my answers up there, but we can't even use the local sports. Dd isn't sporty and ds is in a wheelchair. We're more grateful to live near quality medical facilities. We also appreciate all of the sidewalks and paved bike paths.

 

I grew up in the country, so I get the advantages, but things have gone so downhill in my hometown (let's call it a town) that moving back there would not give my kids the experience I had. I have nieces and nephews living there and it's nothing like it was 25 years ago.

 

 

Well, DH's job isn't really in one place. His company goes in to a city for 9-18 months (typically) and does some work, then moves on to the next city. So for us to be "with" him, we'd have to move an entire household really often. It would also probably necessitate us living in an apartment in each city, something my kids are not well designed to do. They are loud, they are boisterous...we'd probably be getting hate mail from the neighbors. I'd LOVE that sort of thing, but I don't know that it would be good for the kids really. The reason he wants us *here* is that he reasons that this is where WE grew up, it must be good enough for them. That, and he keeps on about how he wants to retire here...he's 36 and hasn't made the kind of money needed to retire early, so I think that's ridiculous. Do what you want in 30 years.

 

The bolded: that is also a reason I want to move. We have nothing here, medically speaking. We have one hospital that our dr won't even admit to if he can help it...one group practice of GP's and a DO. That's it. Any specialist we have 2 hours to travel usually, sometimes 1 if we can find them in that town. YDS is going to need vision therapy - that will be an hour to the dr's office, then an hour home each week. When he needed to see a pediatric orthopedic doctor, that was 2 hours. When he and my daughter broke bones (at different times, LOL, we aren't THAT unfortunate) that was an hour to the bone clinic. You want a real orthodontist, and we do because DD has major issues with her teeth....? That's an hour away...

 

I keep telling him this isn't the Mayberry where he grew up LOL I don't honestly know why he considers his memories so wonderful ... his family was dirt poor, his parents were negligent, bordering on abusive. He was every teacher's worst nightmare... it isn't like he has rosey memories to look back on. I think he's just afraid of admitting that this ISN'T the most wonderful place in the world, he thinks that says something about HIM for some reason. I don't get it, never will.

 

Oh, FWIW, I don't want chickens ;) I just meant that this is like to suburban to be truly rural (therefore, none of those benefits) and too rural to be urban.

[ma23peas]

Thankful for our Prius!

 

I drive 15 hours a week...just for their activities, not including groceries and such.

[Lily_Grace]

We are lucky that everything is 10-20 minutes away, but on the same note there is nothing any closer, either. It means when we head in that direction we don't come home until all errands are done, too.

[LibraryLover]

Quite a bit, but I love where I live and don't plan to move. I bike and walk some places when possible.

Edited April 23, 2012 by LibraryLover

[lewelma]

For weekly activities:

Swimming: 15 minutes

Music lessons: 15 minutes

Martial Arts: ds walks

Mandarin tutor comes to our house

Art class in holidays: walk

Shop/home ec: ds walks to train, and takes 30min train trip

Other music lessons: ds walks

homeschool group: 5 to 20 min drive depending on playground

 

For field trips: We are lucky. The following are a 10 to 30 minute walk or 5 to 10 minute drive:

library, museums, movies, botanical garden, zoo, shops, closer pool, beach, train

 

However, all the homeschoolers live out in the burbs. There are just 2 families within 10 minutes drive of me. :tongue_smilie:

 

Ruth in NZ

Edited April 23, 2012 by lewelma

[iquilt]

It depends quite a bit on the activity and how long the activity is scheduled. We live in the middle of everything but the closest weekly activity is still 30 minutes away with traffic conditions. We often travel 60-90 minutes one way for museums and great homeschool day activities offered once or twice a year. We also travel 60-90 minutes once or twice monthly for classes at a science museum; these classes are 2 hours and I can get a lot done during that time so it does work out.

[DawnM]

TOOOOOO MUCH!

 

I am trying to convince DH to agree to move closer to our activities if we can sell this house next year. We would also be closer to his work if we move that way. It is about 15 miles from us, so 30 miles round trip and we make the trek at least 4 times per week, sometimes up to 7 days per week.

 

Dawn

[Gentlemommy]

We live in the suburbs and I can't wait to move further out and have land...

 

For us-

Grocery store-2 minutes, it's at the entrance to our neighborhood

Target/B and N/Marshall's/petsmart/lowes/and a TON of other stores at an outside mall type thing-5 minutes

Restaurants-5 minutes

Horse back riding lesson-20 minutes

Gymnastics-20 minutes

Dance-15 minutes

Science center-20 minutes

Sea world-30 min

Disney-15 min

HS coop-15 min

Church-15 min

[Donna]

We live in the country, too. There have been times when I have wished to live in the suburbs to be closer to all the kids' activities but then after a long day in a city, I appreciate coming home to our quiet, traffic-less area and our land where we can garden and keep animals.

 

Last year I put over 32,000 miles on a brand new car and, while I do drive a bit for work, most of that was taking kids to their activities.

 

40 min. to violin lessons

2 hours 40 min to fiddle lessons

75 min to orchestra

45 min to wrestling twice a week

30 min to guitar and piano (both at same location at the same time)

40 min to an hour to Irish music sessions or performances depending on which we go to.

[kroe1]

Approximately 300 miles a week. :)

[Jenny in Florida]

The funny thing is that we moved "downtown" a year ago, specifically so that we could be closer to the kids' activities, only to have plans change and have me in the car just as much as I used to be.

 

My son's choir rehearses just five minutes from home, but they sing all over the area. About once a month, we drive them to a venue 45 - 60 minutes from home.

 

He takes a weekly dance class that is 30 minutes from the house.

 

His voice teacher, who has been doing lessons out of his home that is 20 minutes from here is moving into a new studio that will have us driving 30-ish minutes each way.

 

My daughter's voice teacher works from the same venue as my son's choir, which is close.

 

However, it's the theatre stuff that kill us.

 

In the last year, my daughter has done shows in Cocoa Beach (about an hour each way), Sanford (45 minutes each way) and Winter Garden (40 minutes each way). Another show had its performances right here in town, but rehearsed at another venue 30 minutes from here.

 

Meanwhile, my son is working on his fourth show this academic year. One of them was a youth production that is close to home. Two of the others rehearesed and performed at a theatre close to the one where my daughter's show rehearsed. The current one is now rehearsing at yet another theatre, this one about 45 minutes on toll roads.

 

The most "fun" is when one or both of them have things "stacked" on the same day or when they have to be in different places at the same time. For example, today my son has a couple of hours of choir rehearsal (local), followed by a dance class (30 minutes in one direction), followed by a show rehearsal (40 minutes in another direction), after which we get to come home (45 minutes from the theatre). It's a big triangle.

 

This coming Saturday, my son has an extra choir rehearsal in the morning, during which I need to run my daughter to a place about 20 minutes away for an audition, then come back and collect my son to take him home. That evening, my son has what will likely be a long show rehearsal at the theatre 45 minutes from the house, but my daughter and I are scheduled to usher for a production locally. So, I'll take him to rehearsal, come back to usher the show, then go back and get him.

 

So, the answer is I drive a LOT. I'm out most weekday evenings, often at more than one location, plus assorted times during the day and on weekends.

 

My husband commutes about 45 minutes each way to work, but I easily put twice the miles on my car as he does on his.

 

For what it's worth, he thinks I'm crazy.

 

But we have kids who are happier and healthier (emotionally and physically) when they are busy and engaged. So, it's worth it to me.

[MrsBear]

For weekly stuff:

 

Grocery store 15-30 min

Target 20 min

Mall 20 min

Library 20 min

Swim Team 30 min

Martial Arts 30 min

Scouts 10-30 min (depending on where we're meeting)

Art class 20 min

Piano lessons 20 min

Theater 20-30 min (depending on which one)

Movies 15 min

Archeology museum 30 min

Anthropology museum 30 min

Small planetarium 20 min

Historical society 30 min

Historical village 30 min

Parks 15-30 min

 

Field trips - we're between two cities, each with a good variety of things to do:

 

Science center 1.5-2 hr

Children's museum 1.5-2 hr

Botanical gardens 1.5-2 hr

Nature Center 45 min

Better malls 1.5-2 hr

Big planetarium 1.5hr

IMAX theater 2 hr

Bigger museums 45min to 2 hr

[Tarreymere]

When I lived in a large city (I'm rural now) it was always at least a twenty to thirty minute drive to get to anywhere and sometimes more. It wasn't the distance that was the problem, it was the traffic and finding parking. Mass transit took just as long or longer since you had to walk to it and from it plus waiting around for it. If I have to spend thirty minutes to get somewhere I'd rather spend it driving down a road in my own car with little traffic and no frustrations.

[Ferdie]

We live in suburb of DFW so most activities are in our town - dance, karate, music, Target, Walmart, AMC theatre and outdoor mall.

 

I travel 15 minutes into next town to visit indoor mall, Joanns, Half Price Books and our children's charter school.

 

We live between Dallas and Fort Worth which both have zoos and museums. Takes 30 min to 60 to get there depending on traffic. Six Flags is 35 minutes away.

 

We live close to the airport too. We don't travel much, but it is nice for out of town visitors. We can park at the airport for free and meet them at baggage area. From baggage area to our house in about 30 minutes. Love it!

 

Part of our town is rural with horses and chickens. We live in a neighborhood with an HOA so no chickens for us.

[datgh]

I know how you feel. We live about 25 minutes for most things. I am tired of living in the car. It is not as bad now that my kids are teenagers but when they where younger, I hated it. Trying to work around naps, car seats, packing snacks and changes of clothes. A lot of days it wasn't worth the effort. The biggest part was I felt isolated. Like you my husband is gone a lot for work. I felt lonely and vulnerable. Who wouldn't be, when at night you are by yourself with a couple of young children. We belonged to a church that was 30 minutes away. I met a lot of nice ladies there who had kids the same age as mine but they all lived 20 minutes in the opposite direction. I begged my husband to move over toward them but he couldn't see the reason. He just didn't get how where we lived was impacting me. Your hubby probably feels his family is around so you are all set. It doesn't work that way if you don't relate to them. I don't relate to my sister-in-law at all.

 

I would continue to look around for another church even if it is not in town. You may find a new church with members who actually live by you. This is what eventually happened to us and it has helped so much. As your kids get older, it does get easier too.

[DaffodilDreams]

 

However, I won't drive every day for activities; and I won't drive to enrichment activities that take place before, oh, 4 in the afternoon. I want to be *home* during the day, or doing something with just my dc, not trying to fit into other people's plans.

 

 

 

I am so happy to see someone else who likes to be home! I've been thinking I'm a party pooper among my circle because I rarely plan to be somewhere before 2 in the afternoon. Honestly, I like your 4pm rule even better! If we're not home, nothing gets done and I feel so discombobulated! I also like taking field trips on our own vs with a group. We can then linger over what dd wants to see rather than rush through something she might find interesting just because we're in with a pack of people.

 

P.S. OP, we live in the suburbs, but we still have to drive almost an hour - and at times more than an hour - to get to the good stuff in our area. We do at least live very close to Target, a decent hospital, a great theatre, and an "okay" library - my preferred library is about 25 minutes away. Because I don't like to be away from home everyday and because gas has gotten pricey, I really have to think ahead and plan our outings. It can be frustrating and I sometimes find myself wishing we lived smack in the middle of the city, but then I stop and remind myself I would just be taking on a whole new set of pros and cons.

Edited April 23, 2012 by kimmie38017

[AngelaNYC]

Any of my kids' regular activities (gymanastics, dance, sports, scouts, music, etc) are/were no more than 15 minutes away by car.

 

We also do a lot of homeschool group trips where I drive 10 minutes to the subway then the train ride is anywhere from 15-30 minutes to Manhattan or Brooklyn for most activities.

 

We live in NYC, but in a residential area of Queens. We can walk to places like the supermarket, the library, church, several playgrounds, a few delis, the haircutter, 7-11, etc. Many NYC'ers don't even bother owning a car - buses and trains are everywhere.

[Julie Smith]

Eldest doesn't like to go anywhere or do anything. He also influences Youngest in this thinking.

 

We are withing crawling distance (1/2 a K) of:

Convince store

Recreation center with pool and skating rink

Car repair shop. (We are so close I could open the window beside my computer desk and spit on the shop. We get wonderful service, when they change our tires winter/summer they take the tires out of the garage and put the other ones back in then knock on the door to come let us know they are done.)

 

We are within short walking distance (1/2K to 1.5K) of:

Grocery Store

Pharmacy

Restaurants, many restaurants

Bank

Various other shops (clothing, running room)

Library

Clay and Glass Museum

Homeschool support group that meets once a month at a church. It's really active and has a homeschool library you can borrow from

Mini zoo farm

Bike trails

 

A longer walking distance (1.5K to 3K)

Many more bike trails

Numerous other shops (used sports, magic, music stores, comic book store...)

Husbands work

Thrift store

Martial Arts

Bowling Alley

Movie Theater

Magic shop

Numerous play structures

Piano lessons

Art classes

Universities, and I did make that plural - and the fancy things that come with them

 

We are within biking distance (8K) of:

Splash pads

Bike trails

Children's museum (With mini planetarium)

Provincial park

 

We can drive to these activities, but they are 15 minute drive away, give or take a few minutes.

Indoor Rock climbing

Gymnastics

Soccer (Indoor during winter)

Home depot with free wood building activities one weekend a month

 

We did go down hill skiing last winter, but that was a little over 20 minute drive away. We could also go to the Butterfly museum, but that is also about 20 minutes away. Same for the local small airport (We went up in a plane for a scenic tour two years ago)

 

We rarely get into the car, my husband bikes or walks to work. Sometimes the car is only used once a week for one thing or another. Last summer my kids would bike on average 30K+ a week just getting around. In that fashion we toured 36 different parks and play structures.

Edited April 23, 2012 by Julie Smith

[Gingerbread Mama]

Hmm, so I'm not the only one making long drives to things. I'm still at the outer reaches of drive time, though. What really irks me, I think, is that I don't consider those venues to be the *best*, either. They are better than what we have here, because we have nothing here. It's just that I've been to a lot of bigger cities with DH's job (St Louis - that was the best and we actually lived there almost 9 years ago, moving was the WORST thing we did, Chicago, Cincinnati...) and I've seen what THEY have to offer. So then driving 2 hours to get to something so much *less* is sort of a let down.

 

Yes, to the person who said DH assumes that having his family near is a plus. He doesn't get that we will never be close. It isn't a one way street, his brother hates everything I do (He's one of those if you are for it, I'm against it kind of people. So even when it's something GOOD like taking the kids to church, making them eat healthy, etc.. he runs it down in front of them.) He thinks that is just how his brother is and I should overlook it because he is "family". His mother is just, I don't know, we don't click. At all. I don't dislike her really, I just don't want to be around her very often. Funny thing is, DH can't stand her. So....? Now, I'm not totally alone, my mom is here. I have no other family in this area, grandparents are dead and my uncle moved years ago to get his kids into a bigger/better area. I'm starting to realize that my mom is getting older, when she is gone I will really be alone...alone with DH's family :tongue_smilie:That's getting to me.

 

Unless your boy is in band (and must be in PS to do band) or plays a sport like baseball or football (and, after age 12, must be in PS to do football here) then they don't have anything else to offer them. ODS isn't athletic. He's creative, he could do sculpture or woodworking... he's good with technology. He is good at things like skateboarding/roller blading, but we don't have any skate parks or anything. The roller rink 30 min away is the closest we have to anything like that. So basically we don't have anything to build his interests on here, and even if he WERE into the couple of things open to boys here, he couldn't take part because we homeschool. No HS group here, either. There is one fairly inactive one 40 min one direction, and an active one 30 min in another direction. The problem with the active one is that they do a lot of "for credit" stuff but that is in another state so I don't know that they'd want us taking a spot when we can't use their credit, KWIM? Also, they go on trips to other places. Where it would be an hour drive, or and hour and a half, for them...add 30 min or more for us. So that's kind of a disadvantage.

Edited April 23, 2012 by Gingerbread Mama

[amy g.]

Way, way, way too much.

[Aelwydd]

We live in the DFW metroplex.

 

ice hockey--5 minutes to the closest rink (there are at least 10 rinks within 45 minutes)

 

swimming--1 minute walk to our community pool, 5 minutes to public pools

 

Six Flags-- 10 minutes

 

water park-- 10 minutes, 10 minutes, 20 minutes, 25 minutes, and 25 minutes (there are lots of those around here)

 

martial arts -- take your pick. There are at least 50 within a 15 minute drive.

 

malls -- LOL. Which one? We have so many. The largest is an outlet mall 20 minutes from here, and has a Lego Discovery Center and an aquarium.

 

acquarium -- three within 45 minutes

 

zoos -- two large ones, one of which we can reach by train in a half hour, the other is a 30 minute drive

 

medical facilities and professionals-- again, take your pick.

 

art venues -- one within 15 minutes. We went to a large art festival yesterday by train (we live within walking distance of a train station).

 

Major League baseball-- 10 minutes

 

NFL football -- 10 minutes (but bleh on the local team)

 

NHL hockey, NBA basketball -- 20 minute train ride

 

Target -- 1 regular store, 2 super targets within 15 minutes

 

Walmart -- at least 4 super walmarts within 30 minutes driving

 

farmer's markets -- 2 within 20 minutes

 

 

We have so much to do here, it's more like Orlando or maybe Southern California. The problem isn't distance, it's picking what you like, because no one has time to do even half the stuff that's offered here.

[Kim in Appalachia]

We live in a rural area, the only thing close is Walmart (20 minutes) and Save-a-lot (in town). Everything else is an hour: music (lessons and orchestra), sports, church, and any other shopping apart from Wally World.

 

Honestly, I hate it. I really hate it. My dh loves, I mean loves his job, so we are here.

 

The driving has caused us to compromise a lot of things, including school. We have to stick to a bare-bones, get it done approach in order to do anything else. I work hard to make sure my kids get the extras (education wise), but it's hard.

[Gingerbread Mama]

We live in a rural area, the only thing close is Walmart (20 minutes) and Save-a-lot (in town). Everything else is an hour: music (lessons and orchestra), sports, church, and any other shopping apart from Wally World.

 

Honestly, I hate it. I really hate it. My dh loves, I mean loves his job, so we are here.

 

The driving has caused us to compromise a lot of things, including school. We have to stick to a bare-bones, get it done approach in order to do anything else. I work hard to make sure my kids get the extras (education wise), but it's hard.

 

Ooh you are in TN too. Maybe it is TN, honestly no place I've looked in our state has has been able to compete with places like St Louis or Chicago.

[Jan in SC]

We have malls, targets, walmarts, restaurants within 5 minutes.

 

Parks, ball fields, playgrounds are also no more than 5 minutes away.

 

The zoo, a very good one, with an aquarium, is 10 minutes from door to door.

 

In 15 minutes, or less, I can be at a state museum, a children's museum, an art museum, the state house grounds, great restaurants, better grocery stores, three good theatres(plays), and our church.

 

There is a large university within 15 minutes that offers sports, art classes, music classes, plays, etc...

 

If we want MLB, we drive 3 hours. NFL is an hour and a half. The world's largest aquarium is only about 3 hours, maybe 4, if you stop!

 

I drive between 5 minutes and 30 minutes several times a day for three boys to participate in various activities.

[catz]

We live in an urban area. And just for the record, it is not at all uncommon for people to have chickens in my neighborhood! :D I rarely drive more than 10-12 miles for anything (including a zoo, major museums and theaters, major music school where my kids take lessons, etc). Now time varies depending on route or traffic. One of my kids favorite activities is 6.8 miles from here (Circus Arts School) and google maps says it should take 16 minutes. It can take up to 40 minutes in bad traffic. But that is my only regular really annoying drive. It's all back roads and neighborhoods through some busy shopping area. My kids do many activities, and if we didn't, homeschooling probably wouldn't work for us. We like to be busy. I do intentionally try to book things so they aren't right at rush hour.

 

I think it's a little unfair for your husband to not allow you to have more say given you're home alone with your kids so much. Hope you can come to some sort of a compromise!

Edited April 23, 2012 by kck

[Gingerbread Mama]

I think it's a little unfair for your husband to not allow you to have more say given you're home alone with your kids so much. Hope you can come to some sort of a compromise!

 

I do, too. I'm kind of at the end of my tether with this situation. I also don't think he "gets" it because he is somewhere where there is a lot going on, so when he comes "home" he views it as a break and a welcome one. It isn't the same as stagnating here day in and day out. Also, he isn't a "go and do" person. He doesn't ever check out the local museums, parks, zoos, etc.. until I come with the kids and my list of must sees. He admits when we go that they are fun and good for the kids, but he is just too L-A-Z-Y to go do stuff like that on his own. I love him, anyway :D, but I just don't understand that. I would be a member of EVERYthing! LOL

 

Another thing, is that his family is so against anything outside their hometown that it is almost a mental disorder. They hate going anywhere, they view other places with either disinterest or outright distrust. DH is in Chicago right now and we went to stay for a month at Christmas. MIL called me in tears one day begging me not to take the children out of the apartment, that I didn't understand what "@$$-----" people in big cities were. She was sure that at the very least the police would take my children from me if they found out that we homeschooled, at the worst someone was going to kidnap and molest them. :001_huh: I think being raised in that kind of whackadoodle mindset colored how DH sees the rest of the world. Much of her family is that way, even a sister who moved to Chicago for many years (she told me at Christmas not to wave at people or say hello, they'd think I was trying to mug them :lol:) They (MIL and siblings) grew up in an isolated rural location and their parents left them unattended for months at a time. I think it pushed some of them around the bend. Anyway, all that to say that while DH isn't as paranoid as his mother, I do think her dislike of anything outside the countyline has impacted him.

[datgh]

I do, too. I'm kind of at the end of my tether with this situation. I also don't think he "gets" it because he is somewhere where there is a lot going on, so when he comes "home" he views it as a break and a welcome one. It isn't the same as stagnating here day in and day out. Also, he isn't a "go and do" person. He doesn't ever check out the local museums, parks, zoos, etc.. until I come with the kids and my list of must sees. He admits when we go that they are fun and good for the kids, but he is just too L-A-Z-Y to go do stuff like that on his own. I love him, anyway :D, but I just don't understand that. I would be a member of EVERYthing! LOL

 

 

Your hubby sounds just like mine. Mine is not a "go and do" person either. Now that the kids are older we "go and do" by ourselves. Because my husband travels so much, when he is home he doesn't want to go anywhere. He is just happy to be home. I can't say I blame him. He takes up residence on the comfy couch for the weekend and gives a sigh of relief. Of course nothing then changes for me except that the hamper is now overflowing with his suitcase worth of dirty laundry. If we go anywhere and stay in a hotel, it is just another hotel. A meal out is just another meal out. Nothing special. Get on a plane again??? Needless to say the only way I get to go anywhere is with someone else (but honey I haven't seen you all week) or we go camping because at least it is not another hotel room. I feel your pain. Home gets boring when you only have your kids to talk to day in and day out and you never get away from the same old chores day after day. I have learned how to tow our pop up camper and will take it to where hubby is for the week and set up temporary residence. While he see's customers during the day, the kids and I explore. He is at least happy to come back to us at night and I am happy to be away from home for a break.

[Kim in Appalachia]

Ooh you are in TN too. Maybe it is TN, honestly no place I've looked in our state has has been able to compete with places like St Louis or Chicago.

 

Do you get the News Sentinel? It's Knoxville's paper. On the front page today there is a story, "Money, schooling tied to lifespan Study: Some Tenn counties like third world"

 

I can tell you this is true.

 

Knoxville is very nice. I would love to live there. I also like Johnson City. I'm sure it's nice to live close to Nashville or even Memphis. Chattanooga is also very nice. But once you are away from those areas gets very rural very fast.

[Gingerbread Mama]

Do you get the News Sentinel? It's Knoxville's paper. On the front page today there is a story, "Money, schooling tied to lifespan Study: Some Tenn counties like third world"

 

I can tell you this is true.

 

Knoxville is very nice. I would love to live there. I also like Johnson City. I'm sure it's nice to live close to Nashville or even Memphis. Chattanooga is also very nice. But once you are away from those areas gets very rural very fast.

 

 

Well, the city that is 2 hours from us is Memphis. It's impressive until you've spent time somewhere that really seems to value educational/cultural experiences (like STL or Chicago)... :tongue_smilie: I don't know, maybe I haven't spent enough time over there trying to find stuff. It just seems like Pink Palace, Botanical Garden, Zoo...done. I will say that the Memphis Zoo has it all over the Nashville Zoo (I thought.) We've talked about moving to Chattanooga, or near to it. By we I mean me and my mom. She is retiring and helps me with the kids while DH is away. I've talked about it to DH but he says his vote is, and always will be no matter where the place might be, NO. Because he doesn't want to leave his hometown.

 

Our other option would be to go waaay far away to Arizona where my uncle is. He would love us to come out there. I'd love to be closer to the little smidgen of family that I have. The only thing is that, like he said Phoenix is so spread out that it can be like driving to Memphis or Nashville just to go somewhere in the same town. Also, I wish we could move somewhere closer to an ocean, which isn't the BIG thing, but I hate being landlocked. To me, AZ is not only landlocked but barren. At least TN has grass LOL We've talked about moving back to STL, and DH might be able to get a job based out of STL that would have him home more often. FWIW, DH respects my mother and appreciates the help she gives us with the kids. She's the polar opposite from his family so I think he struggles with feeling like he's betraying them by liking her, but he does see that she is invaluable to me. I don't think he'd mind her moving with us (not necessarily into our home but to the same area) for that reason.

 

I don't get that paper, but I've noticed that in the events section of the Tennessee magazine West TN has very few "events" compared to Middle TN and even East TN. It's like West TN can't be bothered, most everyone I know counts going to a football game as their "get out and do" :D That's so not us. Sigh. I feel like when I've tried to talk about what I want for my kids I get the "just grew another head" stare.

Edited April 23, 2012 by Gingerbread Mama

[lailasmum]

I get the frustration. We live in a small town in a very rural area. Most stuff is at least an hour away or doesn't exist at all. This area is also low population/ low income so everything is run down and under funded.

 

Proper small shopping mall/big shops are 1 hr away.

 

1 1/2hr to a big zoo in two directions. (Well I lie there is a very small zoo 1/2 an hour away but it's a wierd erratic place that always seems like it's going bankrupt and has had a whole number of animal welfare issues so we avoid it. It's the place they based the 'We Bought a Zoo' film on.)

 

1hr to Aquarium/Cinema

 

Small pool is about 20mins, bigger sports centre with many pools and facilities is an hour away.

 

There are a very basic range of kids activities like football swimming, tennis, very basic gymnastics club in our town about 20mins away. All other activities are about 1hr plus.

 

There is a small museum and hour away which seems to mostly be filled with things thrown away by other museums.

 

Small and rubbish Library in our town. Bigger library about an hour away but it appears we can't join because it is under a different council even though it's in the same county.

 

On the plus side we have miles and miles of open countryside to use and we are about an hour to a beach.

 

It is beautiful here and people tend to move here from towns and cities and don't realise they are giving up access to good local services and becoming hugely dependent on their car.

 

Some stuff doesn't bother me but I wish there was more in the way of casual kids clubs and places to go. We basically do the same few things endlessly.

Edited April 23, 2012 by lailasmum

[kewb]

I drive way more than I want to be driving.

I am fortunate that the majority of the things I do are within 30 minutes. What takes its wear and tear on me is swim practice. 4-5 days a week and it is just far enough to not make it worthwhile to come home during practice.

[Gingerbread Mama]

I drive way more than I want to be driving.

I am fortunate that the majority of the things I do are within 30 minutes. What takes its wear and tear on me is swim practice. 4-5 days a week and it is just far enough to not make it worthwhile to come home during practice.

 

Yeah. I can see that. That's another point, it's hard to find activities that a 12 yo boy, 9 year old girl, and 8 year old boy could all do at the same time. If I put them in sports the next town over, we'd be driving to separate games and practices for each one. That could easily turn into me driving every day of the week, just for the ONE activity. Bleh.

[Farrar]

We're walking distance from a number of the things mentioned - the zoo, a mall, grocery store, Target, playgrounds, libraries... We're walking distance to the subway for other things - museums, botanic gardens, cruddy aquarium, various city stuff...

 

We're probably 45 mins away from Wal-Mart, but I never go. I'm not even sure where it is exactly. We don't have a real children's museum - that's an hour away, but I'm hardly griping (anymore... ship has sailed). But we're ten minutes from nice hiking (and horses, if we were so inclined to ride) and a nature center... It's nice to have a large National Park in the middle of your city sometimes - even if it is a traffic nightmare.

 

However, as nice as city life is, we're not close to any other homeschoolers hardly. :( So we drive a great deal for playmates, park days, classes, and other homeschool stuff.

[TrixieB]

I drive at least 100 miles per week for my kids' activities. I live in the city, but the majority of my kids' activities are in neighboring cities.

[KungFuPanda]

I thought of you guys today as I drove my son into the city for a drs appt. My car hit 123000 miles. It's 14 years old and I go somewhere almost every day. The car's not even limping yet and I think it's lasted because my trips are so short and I live in a flat area.

[m0mmaBuck]

I grew up in an area like the one you describe. Our farm is 2.5 miles out of town, a town of 500. The closest grocery stores is 20 miles from the farm. The closest movie theater or fast food restaurant is 55 miles from the farm. As kids, we were busy with school activities (sports, clubs, drama, music, etc) and chores BUT that would have been very different had we been HS'ers.

 

Now we live within city limits on a 0.5 acre lot. That said, the "city" isn't metropolitan at all and we could have chickens if we wanted. Heck, no one would say anything if I had a goat. That said, we are:

 

1/2 mile from a strip mall with Walgreens, Barnes and Noble, PetCo, Trader Joes, etc

 

1 mile from a decent mall (and the area also has JoAnns and Target)

 

45 miles from a zoo/aquarium and their are larger zoos and aquariums within 90 miles

 

5 miles from a Japanese garden, 45 mile botanical garden

 

5 miles from a childrens museum with 2 more within 90 miles

 

5-10 miles from 3 decent libraries (same library system)

 

1.5-8 mile from 3 different bowling alleys and a skate rink

 

"Everyday" lesson/group type things:

 

Scottish Highland Dance - 5 miles

 

AWANAS - 3 miles

 

Scouts and AHG- 10 miles (there are Packs that meet closer but we like ours)

 

Rock climbing - 5 miles

 

Sports - 10 miles from the park where a homeschool dad puts on baseball and football seasonally. Park and Rec programs are available at different schools 5-15 miles from us.

 

Church - 5 miles.

[Mommy22alyns]

Let's see. Right now the girls' gymnastics is about 10 minutes away, as is the (small town) library. Soon Rebecca's gymnastics will switch to 45+ minutes away because we want her to join a competitive team and that's not available at the one gym in town. Co-op is 40 minutes one way and that will end in May. We won't return because they're raising the prices (and gymnastics will soon cost more). Choir and AHG are 15 minutes away. They used to do soccer about 20 minutes away but they didn't have a season this year.

 

Anything besides Wal-Mart or a drugstore or Kroger is 45+ minutes away. Target, shopping mall, anything. There's a zoo in Nashville, but it stinks. Aquarium is over 4 hours away. Oh, we can go bowling in town, about 10 minutes away.

[Gingerbread Mama]

I drive at least 100 miles per week for my kids' activities. I live in the city, but the majority of my kids' activities are in neighboring cities.

 

See? LOL That's what I'm afraid of. I'll manage to get everyone on board with a move to some major city, and then still have to drive all over creation for the kids to do the stuff they chose! :lol:

 

I thought of you guys today as I drove my son into the city for a drs appt. My car hit 123000 miles. It's 14 years old and I go somewhere almost every day. The car's not even limping yet and I think it's lasted because my trips are so short and I live in a flat area.

 

 

My DH would say there is something to your theory of why your car has lasted. He does more long haul driving than I do, so he would probably be one to know.

 

I love that someone thought of my plight, makes me happy! :)

 

There's a zoo in Nashville, but it stinks.

 

Yeah, it does. What is up with that? DD asked to go on her 6th birthday. We happened to be in the area anyway, so we took her. O.M.Gosh! I was thinking "Are you kidding me?! This is it?" Now, IIRC, it does have a rather impressive wooden castle/play area type thing? The rest of the zoo, though, just wow.