What grade to place my son in?

[joyfulhomeschooler]

I have an eight year old son who turns nine July 31st. I just realized yesterday that if I keep him in grade 3 according to the state he will be 17 when he graduates. No big deal I know there are many kisd who do this. The thing that bothers me is that he is and always has been very young for his age. I assumed it was because he has been homeschooled, but upon being around other homeschooled children his age recently it seems he is young for his age around them too. He is very small for his age too, only weighing 40lbs and is two inches shorter than his 6 year old sister. I guess I am just worried I am pushing him through too fast. I know that according to the public school system he would be place in 3rd grade and going into 4th next year because of when his birthday falls, but do I have the right to keep him in the 3rd grade at his age? We would still keep going on his studies where we are at, but I wouldn't have to push him as hard and I really feel he would excell with a little more time to mature. .

 

What do you all think? Is this a good idea, or bad idea? Is it even legal? We live in Oregon if that makes a difference.

[Butter]

Why should his age or size matter? I'd place him in the grade level he is and not worry about age and what grade he'd be in in public school.

[ktgrok]

I waited a year before my son started kindergarten for this very reason. He is thin and small and would have been an easy target. Plus he needed more time before reading. I've always been very pleased with that decision.

[joyfulhomeschooler]

Why should his age or size matter? I'd place him in the grade level he is and not worry about age and what grade he'd be in in public school.

 

It matters because of the state laws on the age. As for the size, that is really just an afterthought. It is mainly because of his maturity level that I am worried. When at vacation Bible school for instance, they placed him with his correct aged peers and what the grade level would be for that age and he pretty much hid in a corner or was off by himself the whole time. So the teachers requested he be placed a grade lower and the result was perffect. He played with the other kids and fit in great. This happened two years in a row btw. His size is really just me being protective thinking that if he was put in public school ( if something happened to my husband or myself) he would be an easy target like the other poster said.

[romeacademy]

I can't comment on what is legal or even typical in Oregon, but here in Minnesota it's rather common among public schoolers for boys with summer and even late spring birthdays to stay home an extra year and start in kindergarten when they are 6.

 

I have 2 kids with summer birthdays. The oldest started school when she was 5, and I was never entirely comfortable with it. So about the end of what would have been 8th grade, we added a "bonus" year. One thing that bothered me was sending her off to college just a week or so after she turned 18. Also, even though she's very bright, she's dyslexic and has to work just that much harder to keep up. In college I know she will have to advocate for herself, and think that having that extra year of maturing will help her. She's finishing up her junior year at a classical school this year and doing very well.

 

One of our boys also has a summer b-day, and I just waited to start kindergarten until he was 6. He was so full of wiggles and immature in many ways and I was still so tired, what with twin toddlers that I didn't have the energy to work with him if he wasn't interested. It's been a very good choice for both of them.

 

I would say that if you are concerned, you probably can keep an eye on the situation and forego a firm decision for a while. I guess if I were thinking about doing it, I'd do it sooner rather than later. Right now he probably doesn't think much about what grade he's in, but later it might bother him to be "held back". Worst case, if you keep him in 3rd grade another year now and he really excels later, you can bump him a grade then.

 

Sorry, this was longer than I intended it to be. Hope it helps in some way.

Edited April 15, 2012 by romeacademy
correct sentence

[jennynd]

I have an eight year old son who turns nine July 31st. I just realized yesterday that if I keep him in grade 3 according to the state he will be 17 when he graduates. No big deal I know there are many kisd who do this. The thing that bothers me is that he is and always has been very young for his age. I assumed it was because he has been homeschooled, but upon being around other homeschooled children his age recently it seems he is young for his age around them too. He is very small for his age too, only weighing 40lbs and is two inches shorter than his 6 year old sister. I guess I am just worried I am pushing him through too fast. I know that according to the public school system he would be place in 3rd grade and going into 4th next year because of when his birthday falls, but do I have the right to keep him in the 3rd grade at his age? We would still keep going on his studies where we are at, but I wouldn't have to push him as hard and I really feel he would excell with a little more time to mature. .

 

What do you all think? Is this a good idea, or bad idea? Is it even legal? We live in Oregon if that makes a difference.

 

in NY , and i supposed many other states, the cutoff is Dec 1st. So, your son might be a younger 3rd in your state but will be fine in other state.. Don't know if that will make you feel better

[Lolly]

Just guessing randomly, but I would think that around 50% of July birthdays are held a grade behind where ps placement would put them. Yes, it is legal. Good or bad idea? Honestly, I don't think it is either or really makes any difference in the long run for most kids! I think it helps some; it probably doesn't hurt any unless the parents or other kids use it in a derogatory manner somehow. If you are going to hold him a year, you want to do it as early as possible. It makes a whole lot more difference to a teenager to repeat a grade. You can always bump him back up later if you want.

[Butter]

It matters because of the state laws on the age.

 

What laws? Just because you report a certain grade level to the state doesn't mean you have to be teaching that grade level at home. We used to live in VA and the prevailing opinion was to report the grade they'd be in based on age-mates and test at that level even if the kid was ahead. In MD we don't have to prove progress (just prove we're teaching something in the different required subjects) so most people report what the actual instructional level is. I have a 12 year old two grade levels ahead, a 10 year old 1/2 grade level behind (he's actually reported as 3rd AND 4th grade this year because he moved up to 4th in February), and a 5 year old one grade level ahead. Many homeschoolers don't actually say they have a specific grade level at all.

[angela in ohio]

I held my little guy with a late June birthday back a few years ago. Many of my friends do the same, even up to May birthdays, so it isn't uncommon in my circle.

 

He wasn't even with his grade level academically anyway in some subjects, as I have dc work at their ability not their grade level, so that didn't matter. It was more about when he would graduate and his position among his peers. He will go to school in 7th grade or so, so it does matter to use what grade he is in.

[Lolly]

in NY , and i supposed many other states, the cutoff is Dec 1st. So, your son might be a younger 3rd in your state but will be fine in other state.. Don't know if that will make you feel better

 

Most states go with Sept. or Aug. There aren't many Dec. cutoff holdouts!

[Crimson Wife]

It is very common for boys who have birthdays close to the cutoff (and some girls as well) to do a "transition" year at some point. It's not exactly repeating a grade but more like a hybrid between the two grades. In my neck of the woods, many public and private schools have a "transition" class between K & 1st, 5th & 6th, or 8th & 9th.

 

My DS has a November birthday (CA's cutoff was 12/2 last year when he started K, though they have since changed it) and he wasn't quite ready to move on to 1st grade work in August when we started our new school year. He actually would've been ready to start 1st semester of 1st grade in January if we ran our school year on a Jan-Dec calendar rather than Aug-Jul. But we don't so he won't officially start 1st for a few more months.

[Kathleen in VA]

As a former first grade teacher, I highly recommend that you teach him and test him at the second grade level. I am also in Virginia and parents here have option of keeping their 5yo out of kindergarten until they are 6yo if they feel their child needs more time to mature. (that's for public school kids). If you think your son would benefit from another year at a lower grade level, I don't know why anyone would have a problem with that. Boys especially need time to mature at that age. If he were in ps it would be much better to have one more year under his belt during the high school years. He'd have a better chance to be a leader and he'd be more ready to go to college at 18yo than 17yo.

[ssavings]

How aware of what grade he's in is your DS? If he is aware, is he likely upset or feel like he did something wrong if you hold him a year?

[Ellie]

My birthday is July 18. I was 17 when I graduated. I had never in my life heard that a summer birthday was somehow "late," until I started posting on *this* homeschool forum. :001_huh:

 

IMHO, when you need to put a grade-level label on him, it should be the one according to his date of birth and the cut off in your state. So yes, the year he is 8, he would be a third grader.

 

I would certainly not hold him back a year on paper because right now he seems to be "younger" than some other children. That doesn't make sense to me at all.

 

Children should be graduated from school when they have completed a course of study, regardless of their age or maturity or physical size.

[Kathleen in VA]

My birthday is July 18. I was 17 when I graduated. I had never in my life heard that a summer birthday was somehow "late," until I started posting on *this* homeschool forum. :001_huh:

 

IMHO, when you need to put a grade-level label on him, it should be the one according to his date of birth and the cut off in your state. So yes, the year he is 8, he would be a third grader.

 

I would certainly not hold him back a year on paper because right now he seems to be "younger" than some other children. That doesn't make sense to me at all.

 

Children should be graduated from school when they have completed a course of study, regardless of their age or maturity or physical size.

 

Ellie, it's possible you had never heard of it because it's usually something associated with boys with summer birthdays. If the OP's son is on the late end of the cut-off time and she is required to test him at a certain grade level, it might reflect poorly on him if he is not ready for 3rd grade work. I taught first grade at a small Christian school in the 80s and this was common topic of discussion.

[Butter]

Ellie, it's possible you had never heard of it because it's usually something associated with boys with summer birthdays. If the OP's son is on the late end of the cut-off time and she is required to test him at a certain grade level, it might reflect poorly on him if he is not ready for 3rd grade work. I taught first grade at a small Christian school in the 80s and this was common topic of discussion.

 

I had never heard of it until very recently, too. My 5 year old was born in July and there was a huge discussion about holding the July 06 kids back or not since they were set to start kindergarten this past fall. In the end, out of about 3 dozen kids only 2 were held back (or red-shirted some called it). Interestingly, both are considering homeschooling at some point. The public school all the way crowd were adamant that their kids start school on time. I can say with absolute certainty that holding back July/August/early Sept (we have a mid-Sept cut off) kids is NOT common around here among people I associate with.

 

I still say go with whatever level his instructional level is for educating him. If he'd struggle to be a 3rd grader, by all means put him in second. But do it based on his academic level, not based on his age or size.

[angela in ohio]

Ellie, it's possible you had never heard of it because it's usually something associated with boys with summer birthdays. If the OP's son is on the late end of the cut-off time and she is required to test him at a certain grade level, it might reflect poorly on him if he is not ready for 3rd grade work. I taught first grade at a small Christian school in the 80s and this was common topic of discussion.

 

My brother was held back for a second year of preschool, though he was academically talented, because he had a summer birthday. That was 35 years ago. So it's not new. :001_smile: My mom always said it was the best thing she ever did, and that greatly influenced my own decision.

 

There are entire programs for these dc in local schools, too. They do a year of early-kindergarten and then a year of kindergarten.

[ssavings]

My brother was held back for a second year of preschool, though he was academically talented, because he had a summer birthday. That was 35 years ago. So it's not new. :001_smile: My mom always said it was the best thing she ever did, and that greatly influenced my own decision.

 

There are entire programs for these dc in local schools, too. They do a year of early-kindergarten and then a year of kindergarten.

 

My inlaws held back all their boys who had Spring/summer/fall birthdays. They lived in a sports-driven area, and the hope was by letting them wait a year, they'd be older, bigger, and more likely to get sports scholarships their senior year of high school. This would be in the '80s, private CA schools. (My DH hated it, but that's another story.)

[Kathleen in VA]

My brother was held back for a second year of preschool, though he was academically talented, because he had a summer birthday. That was 35 years ago. So it's not new. :001_smile: My mom always said it was the best thing she ever did, and that greatly influenced my own decision.

 

There are entire programs for these dc in local schools, too. They do a year of early-kindergarten and then a year of kindergarten.

 

I always think of it as a gift - a gift of time. A child in 2nd or 3rd grade will hardly notice it at all, but the extra year of maturity will be a great asset in the high school years. I graduated at 17 (my birthday is 12/12) and I wish my parents had held me back. I was not ready for algebra when my classmates were, I had a very literal way of understanding the world and found abstract thought very challenging. One more year might have helped.

[wapiti]

I still say go with whatever level his instructional level is for educating him. If he'd struggle to be a 3rd grader, by all means put him in second. But do it based on his academic level, not based on his age or size.

 

:iagree:

 

I always think of it as a gift - a gift of time. A child in 2nd or 3rd grade will hardly notice it at all, but the extra year of maturity will be a great asset in the high school years. I graduated at 17 (my birthday is 12/12) and I wish my parents had held me back. I was not ready for algebra when my classmates were, I had a very literal way of understanding the world and found abstract thought very challenging. One more year might have helped.

 

For some contrast (lol), I think of it as a theft - a theft of time - a whole year extra that he'd have to spend in high school when he could be off in college or doing something more interesting. If he were held back, he'd turn 18 before his senior year even starts. (Also, you were several months younger for grade than the kiddo in question.)

[joyfulhomeschooler]

As a parent, you have the choice of placing your 7 year old in 1st grade or higher. OAR 581-021-0026 (6) Once you choose a grade level placement, you should use it consistently.

 

Quoted off the Oregon State Homeschooling laws website. So I guess I could legally do it.

I want to thank all of you for your advice and experience with this. I am really leaning towards having him be 9 in 3rd. Especially after reading all your posts. I think too many times we get in a rush to push them through school instead of just enjoying these years that we have them and letting them learn at a pace that is comfortable for their maturity level.

 

On the other hand I have a daughter who is going to be 7 the beginning of June and she is definately going to be ready to be in 2nd grade. I think much of it just depends on the child. Who knows I may decide she needs an extra year for maturity too. I mean, what is the rush.

[luvnlattes]

The thing that bothers me is that he is and always has been very young for his age.

 

We would still keep going on his studies where we are at, but I wouldn't have to push him as hard and I really feel he would excell with a little more time to mature.

 

My oldest also has a July birthday. About 4th grade I began to question if I should have started K for him at age 6 instead of 5 for similar reasons to those you stated above. We plugged along but each year it became more obvious to me that he would have benefitted from a later start. Finally, at the end of 7th grade, we knew it would be in his best interest to have another year to mature. It was tough having him "stay" in 7th grade. We continued moving forward academically, but at church and in our co-op yearbook, he stayed in 7th grade. This was tough for him. I wish I would have followed my instincts and made the change when he was younger.

 

He has definitely benefitted from having the extra time before high school, which he'll start next year. I also believe he will be more successful at college being an older freshman rather than a younger one.

 

You know what you are seeing. You know where he stands academically. I would suggest you talk to your dh about it and go with what you both know will be best for your son.

[Susan C.]

It is mainly because of his maturity level that I am worried. When at vacation Bible school for instance, they placed him with his correct aged peers and what the grade level would be for that age and he pretty much hid in a corner or was off by himself the whole time. So the teachers requested he be placed a grade lower and the result was perffect. .

 

This. Put him where he fits. Academics aren't the only thing that matters. Emotional readiness is very important. My ds (grown now) has a birthday near your son's. I homeschooled him K-12. He was always slow slow slow, then a year before he was supposed to graduate, he said he wasn't ready to go to college in a year. It didn't help that he hit a wall with chemistry and algebra 2. People told me when he was younger to hold him back and I listened to grandparents (our grandson has read since he was 3...:tongue_smilie:). I reset grades (made the current 11th grade 10th, and so on), and his new 11th grade year he said it was the first year of his whole school career that his subjects fit and he didn't have to struggle all the time.

 

Much better to catch now. I wouldn't call it holding back either.

[Jan in SC]

My oldest son was given an extra year of kindergarten. It was a wonderful decision for our family. If he gets to high school and is capable of college courses at an early age, we will happily send him early.

[Shellydon]

I have an August birthday child. Academically, she was in 4th grade this year at age 9. For some social things, like AWANAS, we put her in 3rd grade. For other things, we bump her up to 4th grade. We move her around as we see fit for the situation. I do not want her mixed in with junior high aged kids when she is technically 6th grade, but only 11 (when the rest are easily 12 turning 13), so I suspect we will be putting her a grade down as she ages.

[Soror]

Our cut-off here is July 31st and is around the same time for every school in this area. Most everyone I know of holds boys back with Summer b-days for maturity, sports, size etc (and have always done so). My son was born July 30th so I technically classify him as First grade this year, he turned 7 right before starting 1st grade. Academically he is on 2nd in Math and content area comprehension but on 1st grade level in Reading and Writing. I teach him on his level for each subject of course. His hs friends seem to mostly follow this as well although there is a wider variation.

[Ellie]

Ellie, it's possible you had never heard of it because it's usually something associated with boys with summer birthdays. If the OP's son is on the late end of the cut-off time and she is required to test him at a certain grade level, it might reflect poorly on him if he is not ready for 3rd grade work. I taught first grade at a small Christian school in the 80s and this was common topic of discussion.

Maybe we just hang out with different people. I really do know many people who boys with summer birthdays. :D And Mr. Ellie's bday is September 7; he started first grade when he was 5, and lived to tell about it. :D

 

I still feel the same way, though. Regardless of when the cut-off is for one's state, some children will be old for their grades, some will be young for their grades. It's just how life is. And so I still feel the same way: when required to put a child's grade level on paper, it should be the one he'd be in if he were in school, which in the OP's case means if he's 8 this summer, he'll be a 3rd grader in the fall.

[joyfulhomeschooler]

I am so glad I posted here! You all are helping me to feel more confident about something that has been on my mind for a while now. Thanks!

[SKL]

I'm sure it's legal and not uncommon, but personally I'd do it only if the child was at risk of failing or struggling academically to the point of frequent frustration. I'm not a big believer in the "gift of time." Kids change a lot as they mature, and experience unscheduled growth spurts in all areas. I also believe that the sustained challenge of having to actually work for one's grades has lifelong benefits compared to having school "easy."

 

I have two brothers with summer/fall birthdays who started school "young." One was a standout student until he was a teen, when he lost focus due to social stuff. The other just "got by" through most of elementary school, but got focused around age 12 and became a very good student. (Then there is my 3rd brother, who was on the older side, highly intelligent, and a terrible student all the way through.) So you never know how it will play out, even for boys.

[kitten18]

My oldest also has a July birthday. About 4th grade I began to question if I should have started K for him at age 6 instead of 5 for similar reasons to those you stated above. We plugged along but each year it became more obvious to me that he would have benefitted from a later start. Finally, at the end of 7th grade, we knew it would be in his best interest to have another year to mature. It was tough having him "stay" in 7th grade. We continued moving forward academically, but at church and in our co-op yearbook, he stayed in 7th grade. This was tough for him. I wish I would have followed my instincts and made the change when he was younger.

 

He has definitely benefitted from having the extra time before high school, which he'll start next year. I also believe he will be more successful at college being an older freshman rather than a younger one.

 

You know what you are seeing. You know where he stands academically. I would suggest you talk to your dh about it and go with what you both know will be best for your son.

I completely agree!!!

 

 

My oldest son was given an extra year of kindergarten. It was a wonderful decision for our family. If he gets to high school and is capable of college courses at an early age, we will happily send him early.

I agree with this too. If he's ready in HS, he can take some college courses.

[joyfulhomeschooler]

I'm sure it's legal and not uncommon, but personally I'd do it only if the child was at risk of failing or struggling academically to the point of frequent frustration. I'm not a big believer in the "gift of time." Kids change a lot as they mature, and experience unscheduled growth spurts in all areas. I also believe that the sustained challenge of having to actually work for one's grades has lifelong benefits compared to having school "easy."

 

I have two brothers with summer/fall birthdays who started school "young." One was a standout student until he was a teen, when he lost focus due to social stuff. The other just "got by" through most of elementary school, but got focused around age 12 and became a very good student. (Then there is my 3rd brother, who was on the older side, highly intelligent, and a terrible student all the way through.) So you never know how it will play out, even for boys.

We would still continue to do the same work he has been doing academically. It's just that if he wasn't quite grasping something do to maturity level we could take it at his pace. Also this way for things that he would need to be placed in a grade for (church,Bible school, etc.) he would be able to do that. It's not so much that he is struggling in his 3rd grade studies this year, it's just that I feel he wuold be better suited to going at his own pace instead of rushing through.

 

And I know some of you didn't think the social area was a concern.. but for me it is. I would rather him be comfortable around his peers than to feel like he has to go off and play by himself instead of interacting with the other children because they are more mature and intimidating in size (the older children).

Edited April 15, 2012 by joyfulhomeschooler

[catz]

It matters because of the state laws on the age. As for the size, that is really just an afterthought. It is mainly because of his maturity level that I am worried. When at vacation Bible school for instance, they placed him with his correct aged peers and what the grade level would be for that age and he pretty much hid in a corner or was off by himself the whole time. So the teachers requested he be placed a grade lower and the result was perffect. He played with the other kids and fit in great. This happened two years in a row btw. His size is really just me being protective thinking that if he was put in public school ( if something happened to my husband or myself) he would be an easy target like the other poster said.

 

 

If this is the case, I would call him the younger grade. It's much easier to do it now than later. And it's also easier to bump him ahead a year later if you need to.

 

I have an older for age son with an October birthday and he's old for grade and he's accelerated academically. There are still many good reasons at this point to keep him at grade level. I have no regrets about it and I think it's unlikely we'll bump him up unless he really wants to go to college early. Hard to imagine from him. The vast majority of July and August birthday (and some earlier) boys here are held back.

[Tarreymere]

I have a daughter who is eight with an October birthday. She would be in second grade according to our state. This would mean that she would graduate when she is eighteen. I'm okay with that.

 

She is currently doing fourth grade level math with a sixth grade math concepts score, and reading at an eighth grade comprehension level, according to our latest achievement test. I'm not calling her either a fourth grader OR a sixth grader OR an eighth grader......

 

I am providing her with challenging material at whatever level she is in whatever subject. Her official grade level according to the state doesn't mean anything to me.

 

I am keeping her officially as a second grader. My rationale for this is that I've raised four adult daughters and two adult sons so far and they are all little whacky in their teens. A few have been really whacky. All but one were gifted intellectually but somewhat handicapped in the common sense department. Okay, they were ALL really handicapped in the common sense department, intellect aside.

 

I think they still need adult guidance at that time, at least until age eighteen. I would prefer to keep this one and my other children at home until they are at least eighteen, and one way to do that is to keep them in high school. We aren't in a race, after all. I think the older the better when it comes time to fly the nest. Well, the older the better up to a point (not planning to educate this lot until they are forty, after all......:001_smile:)

Edited April 15, 2012 by Rainefox

[Soror]

If you feel it is right for your child then just do it and don't worry about about what other's think. One of the points of hs'ing is so we can meet our children's needs. Just because customs might be different in other places has no bearing on your child. Here my son would be the odd man out if I didn't "hold him back"(the whole term seems insane when we are talking about a few days- in the case of my son it is 1 day). Btw fwiw the date is not a maximum date but a minimum.

[joyfulhomeschooler]

I have a daughter who is eight with an October birthday. She would be in second grade according to our state. This would mean that she would graduate when she is eighteen. I'm okay with that.

 

She is currently doing fourth grade level math with a sixth grade math concepts score, and reading at an eighth grade comprehension level, according to our latest achievement test. I'm not calling her either a fourth grader OR a sixth grader OR an eighth grader......

 

I am providing her with challenging material at whatever level she is in whatever subject. Her official grade level according to the state doesn't mean anything to me.

 

I am keeping her officially as a second grader. My rationale for this is that I've raised four adult daughters and two adult sons so far and they are all little whacky in their teens. A few have been really whacky. All but one were gifted intellectually but somewhat handicapped in the common sense department. Okay, they were ALL really handicapped in the common sense department, intellect aside.

 

I think they still need adult guidance at that time, at least until age eighteen. I would prefer to keep this one and my other children at home until they are at least eighteen, and one way to do that is to keep them in high school. We aren't in a race, after all. I think the older the better when it comes time to fly the nest. Well, the older the better up to a point (not planning to educate this lot until they are forty, after all......:001_smile:)

This is exactly how I feel and what I am thinking of doing. Even if he is able to do 3rd grade work doesn't mean I need to have him placed as a 3rd grader with the state. The longer I can let him mature at home the better... to a point ;)

[Mom0012]

My oldest son was given an extra year of kindergarten. It was a wonderful decision for our family. If he gets to high school and is capable of college courses at an early age, we will happily send him early.

 

I did the same with my son and have not regretted it for a second. His birthday is 2 weeks before the cut-off and he is a late bloomer. Throw in the fact that many, many children with summer or fall birthdays are held back a year, and it was really a no-brainer for me.

 

Lisa

[kalanamak]

It matters because of the state laws on the age. As for the size, that is really just an afterthought.

 

Not everyone homeschools the whole way through.

Smallness in boys has an effect in the teen years, and would not be just an afterthought to me.

 

I would "hold him back". (And I'm usually not on the rah-rah side for holding back, because if I'd been held back (I was one day too young to start, but was started anyway because, I suspect, of either my mother's mien or how well my older brothers had done) I would have been WILD to leave school.)

[kalanamak]

Maybe we just hang out with different people. I really do know many people who boys with summer birthdays. :D And Mr. Ellie's bday is September 7; he started first grade when he was 5, and lived to tell about it. :D

 

 

Back then, K was K and not "learn to read and be pressured" pre-1st grade.

We didn't even CRACK a book in K. I went in 1963. Around here, there is a big push for reading before 1st, not "ready to read". Times have changed.

[joyfulhomeschooler]

Not everyone homeschools the whole way through.

Smallness in boys has an effect in the teen years, and would not be just an afterthought to me.

 

I would "hold him back". (And I'm usually not on the rah-rah side for holding back, because if I'd been held back (I was one day too young to start, but was started anyway because, I suspect, of either my mother's mien or how well my older brothers had done) I would have been WILD to leave school.)

 

This is a good point.

[taffnus]

My dd will be 9 on Aug. 15 and she's much smaller than every other 8yo we know. I've struggled with the same question in the past and I even spoke with someone at the public school about it. Well, she wasn't the brightest star in the sky and just said to go with the cut off for the schools which places her in 3rd grade this year and 4th next. I've done that figuring that she's working at her level and, if the time ever comes that she has to go to school, we'll decide what grade she should join.

 

Concerning other group activities, I let her choose. If she wants to go down a grade, I let her. She's done this in Sunday School and it's been good for her. We stopped Awana but have discussed returning and, if we did, she'd go down a grade. So, I think you can do a combination. In Va, it really doesn't matter what I list her as. That would make no difference if she's enrolling in school. I just place her based on age and then follow her abilities for schoolwork and her inclination / desire for social groups.

[Ellie]

Maybe so, but we're talking about homeschoolers, who don't have to do that kind of stuff. We just have to play the game. Go with the grade level according to the birthday and cut-off date, teach the dc as much as possible, and move on.

[love2read]

Wait. Register him for the lower grade please.

-The majority of people placing their kids in ps K wait now. The average age of graduation for many kids is closer to 19 now. I only recently learned this while talking to ps teachers at a book fair.

-There is no advantage to registering him early. Go ahead and teach him at whatever level he is able to handle regardless of his grade with the school district.

-There are disadvantages to his being on the young side. He'll be taking the PSAT and SAT at a younger age and won't be as competitive. He'll have fewer life experiences, less time to read and learn with your guidance; he may look and act younger.

-It is extremely difficult to put a child back a year or give him a bonus year when he is older. He will feel like he failed, he'll worry that his friends will realize what happened and they'll think he's dumb. He will greatly resist (btdt) and the school district may give you trouble.

 

I registered two of my summer/fall children for K when they were old enough to be registered. Even though they were bright enough, I later regretted it. In college they too regretted that decision despite not having study or social difficulties. They felt younger and wished they had that extra year to learn more deeply at home. I made a similar mistake by registering a gifted child as 5/6th grade one year so that she could skip a grade. She did outstanding, scored very high on the SAT and started college classes at just 17. All A's. A year later when she was almost 18, she helped her younger brother study for the SAT and at that point something clicked when it came to the critical reading passages. She saw a pattern that she hadn't noticed before. We both realized that if she had taken the test when she was a little older she would have qualified for that merit scholarship that she just missed, which would have meant a full ride to her preferred ivy league. It's hard to see that far down the road when your children are young, but give him that freedom now. If he is advanced academically, you can use the more challenging material now available to homeschoolers and in 8th or 9th grade you can always decide to blend two years together.

Edited April 16, 2012 by love2read

[Farrar]

Maybe so, but we're talking about homeschoolers, who don't have to do that kind of stuff. We just have to play the game. Go with the grade level according to the birthday and cut-off date, teach the dc as much as possible, and move on.

 

:iagree:

 

If you're going to homeschool all the way through, stop overthinking this stuff, people. And even if you're not, cross that bridge when you come to it.

[kalanamak]

Maybe so, but we're talking about homeschoolers,

 

I thought we were talking about your husband. ;)

 

My state plops you in a grade. So far it is the grade I want my summer-birthday boy, but if he were immature and small, I'd be declaring him a year behind. Most homeschoolers don't go all the way through.

[khall]

It matters because of the state laws on the age. As for the size, that is really just an afterthought. It is mainly because of his maturity level that I am worried. When at vacation Bible school for instance, they placed him with his correct aged peers and what the grade level would be for that age and he pretty much hid in a corner or was off by himself the whole time. So the teachers requested he be placed a grade lower and the result was perffect. He played with the other kids and fit in great. This happened two years in a row btw. His size is really just me being protective thinking that if he was put in public school ( if something happened to my husband or myself) he would be an easy target like the other poster said.

 

Based on this, it sounds like he is a better fit in the lower grade. You're going to hear lots of opinions that go either way, but you need to make a decision based on your child, not on what other people think.

 

For what it's worth, I was in your position this time last year. DD9, will be 10 on June 23, and is very young for her age. We did decide to keep her in the younger grade, so she'll be 4th grade next fall. Based on what I've seen this year, it was the perfect decision for her.

[Unicorn.]

It matters because of the state laws on the age. As for the size, that is really just an afterthought. It is mainly because of his maturity level that I am worried. When at vacation Bible school for instance, they placed him with his correct aged peers and what the grade level would be for that age and he pretty much hid in a corner or was off by himself the whole time. So the teachers requested he be placed a grade lower and the result was perffect. He played with the other kids and fit in great. This happened two years in a row btw. His size is really just me being protective thinking that if he was put in public school ( if something happened to my husband or myself) he would be an easy target like the other poster said.

 

Place him according to maturity level.

[abacus2]

Have you talked to him about it? The VBS experience makes me think he might prefer to be in the lower grade.

[NASDAQ]

The cutoff in BC is December 31st.

 

I would be hesitant to hold him back unless there was a pressing need to, which it doesn't sound like there is right now. An awful lot gets shaken up between here and 17.

[Lolly]

Maybe so, but we're talking about homeschoolers, who don't have to do that kind of stuff. We just have to play the game. Go with the grade level according to the birthday and cut-off date, teach the dc as much as possible, and move on.

 

Actually, many of us do have to do that kind of stuff. If our children do not pass standardized tests at a certain level, these decisions are taken out of our hands and our dc are put into ps. Having to meet a lower grade requirement takes that pressure off. Official grade levels are also often used for grouping in church and coops. Sometimes children who are not comfortable because they are not as mature as the others can easily be made more comfortable by just going down one grade level. Plus, when you are talking about a state with a Dec. cutoff, a dc who has a July birthday isn't all that young. When the cutoff is in August, July birthdays are amongst the youngest. If you have a dc who is immature for his/her age, the difference can be quite astounding. No, not every dc who has a birthday close to the cutoff date needs to be held back. In fact, some who are under it should probably be put forward. The thing is that it isn't a hard line that you aren't allowed to cross. You should always look at the individual and make the decision, not just the line drawn in the sand.

[MrsBear]

I think it comes down to is he ready for 4th grade work as he's nearing the end of 3rd grade work?

 

Cut-off dates vary widely across the US, some as late as turning 5 before December, others turning 5 before end of June for a K start that year.

 

My DS is a young second grader. In our school district, with cut-off dates what they are, he'd be first grade. I don't homeschool by what our district policy is, I homeschool where my child is...and he's all over the place, mostly second, but some first, and some third grade things. I think that's fine. He'll be 17 when he graduates high school, but will turn 18 before he heads off to college (unless he graduates early, which is a possibility too).

 

Basically, what is working for your child? Would he know you're holding him back? Are you holding him back for you or for him in the now, not the future, but the now?