What age do you allow your dc to choose their hairstyle?

[elegantlion]

My ds is 10 and he likes his hair longer. It was getting shaggy and dh took him for a haircut yesterday. It is quite short, too short IMO. It's almost a buzz cut. He already looks young for his age and now he looks even younger. I think he would have been happier if it had been shaped better and left longer.

 

Ds is being a good sport about it all. DH said in a couple of years he'll let ds have more say.

 

My hair is never followed a hairstyle (see avatar) and dh has almost no hair. I say let the boy have his hair his way while he still has hair.

 

I know this is a petty issue, but I'm curious how others handle this situation.

[amy g.]

I allow my kids to choose their own hairstyles around 5 years of age.

 

My son has long shaggy hair. My girls have split ends, but that's how they want it.

 

I really try not to be controlling or disrespectful, and in return, they are respectful to others.

[Parrothead]

I look at is as it being just hair. I choose not to battle about it. Dd has always been able to pick what style she wants. Hopefully she won't want purple hair or Goth black, but it is her head.

[mo2]

My ds is 10 and he likes his hair longer. It was getting shaggy and dh took him for a haircut yesterday. It is quite short, too short IMO. It's almost a buzz cut. He already looks young for his age and now he looks even younger. I think he would have been happier if it had been shaped better and left longer.

 

Ds is being a good sport about it all. DH said in a couple of years he'll let ds have more say.

 

My hair is never followed a hairstyle (see avatar) and dh has almost no hair. I say let the boy have his hair his way while he still has hair.

 

I know this is a petty issue, but I'm curious how others handle this situation.

 

 

I think hair is not important enough to argue about. Dd is 6, gets her hair cut when she wants it cut, doesn't get it cut if she doesn't want to. Any color is fine with me as long as it washes out. She has been known to sport pink or red hair frequently.

[Amy in Orlando]

To me as long as they are old enough to keep their hair clean and basically brushed, they can wear it how they like. It's just hair. They're the ones who will cringe at pictures when they're older. ;) This is tougher for dh, but he agrees it's not a hill he wants to die on right now. Two of my sons have longer, shaggy hair. One son has an actual style that he likes and keeps cut. The other son inheirited my wild hair and keeps it short for simplicity.

[Mommieeeee]

I let them choose. I figure it is hair and it can be cut. In my kids case, usually 2 weeks later as it grows so fast.

 

I let my son wear a mohawk for about 6 months, last year when he was 8/9 years old. He loved the attention that it brought him. Not negative attention, but "Wow!"

 

At 10, I would let him choose.

[beansprouts]

My girl had an opinion about her hair by the time she was four.

 

I would let my ds grow his hair as long as it was kept clean and neat and out of his face. No sheepdogs.

[elizam]

To me as long as they are old enough to keep their hair clean and basically brushed, they can wear it how they like. It's just hair. They're the ones who will cringe at pictures when they're older. ;) This is tougher for dh, but he agrees it's not a hill he wants to die on right now. Two of my sons have longer, shaggy hair. One son has an actual style that he likes and keeps cut. The other son inheirited my wild hair and keeps it short for simplicity.

 

 

I emphasized the hill part...

 

Dh is having major fits about our oldest's hair, which is shaggy and too long in the bangs...except for the bangs, I kind of like the rest of his hair...he hates to have people make fun of his ears!

 

I just want dh to drop it...but he won't. Thus ds acts balky about it. Ugh!

[mommylaw]

Long shaggy hair doesn't bother me.

[Mrs Mungo]

I just bought turquoise hair dye for my 12 year old. What does that tell you? :lol:

 

I had 3 younger sisters and we did weird stuff to our hair all the time. I tell my husband-it's only hair. Let them "rebel" against "the man" instead of us.:D

[Sasharowan]

I let mine as soon as they voice an opinion on hair. I figure it will grow out and I do veto anything that will lead to ridicule or teasing. And no chemicals until they are much older.

[swellmomma]

The start from the time they can speak, so around 2ish telling the stylist/barber what to do. However, I am bless imo that both my boys love buzz cuts, and dd loves long pretty hair(she gets sparkle hairspray when she goes to the salon). So far no asking for hair dyes, no mohawks, no long hair on my boys. So it is not anything I have had to worry about too much.

[genie]

I would definitely let him decide, as long as it wouldn't become a huge issue for your dh. My dd's hair is curly so she is somewhat limited in how she can style it, but I let her have her say. She is toying with the idea of coloring it, but I would have no idea what product to use. (Mrs. Mungo? mo2?)

[Joanne]

Any age they can handle it.

 

My oldest has a mowhawk and my youngest has a tail.

[ChristusG]

As long as they are, for the most part, good kids....I say let them have it how they want it. As long as they care for it and they dont let it get oiley, matted, etc. However, I will try to steer my kids towards haircuts that I think look good on them. But if they are dead set against it, I will let them have their way.

[Mrs Mungo]

I would definitely let him decide, as long as it wouldn't become a huge issue for your dh. My dd's hair is curly so she is somewhat limited in how she can style it, but I let her have her say. She is toying with the idea of coloring it, but I would have no idea what product to use. (Mrs. Mungo? mo2?)

 

I actually went and asked about this on a beauty products board. The most highly recommended color product for this situation that is widely available was "color fiend." It doesn't have peroxide so it doesn't damage the hair and it lasts 4-6 weeks. You can buy it at Hot Topic. We haven't used it yet, I'll report back when we do. :)

[genie]

We haven't used it yet, I'll report back when we do. :)

 

Thanks! :001_smile:

[RoughCollie]

As long as their hair is clean, I don't bug the kids about it. They can have whatever style, color or length they prefer.

 

DH does not like this and I have to go to bat for the kids about their hair whenever DH gets the snatch the boys up and take them to the barber look in his eye.

 

Luckily one DS likes his hair cut short so that appeases DH somewhat.

 

RC

[momofkhm]

Of course with the girls this was a while ago. DS still gets "you need a haircut" and dh gives him one. We are a family of short hair for boys though.

[elegantlion]

Any age they can handle it.

 

My oldest has a mowhawk and my youngest has a tail.

 

Wow, thanks for all the replies. Y'all are awesome. I had short hair and a tail in high school, so I tend to be a hair rebel.

 

It's not like he wants a mullet or anything. :001_huh:

[JennifersLost]

This was so timely for me. My oldest two boys have nearly shoulder length hair. I am itching to cut it short, but I figure it's God's revenge on me for the conniptions I gave my mother when I started dyeing/shaving/doing weird things to my hair.

 

When I was little, my mother used to cut my hair short when I wanted it long. To this day I wear it nearly waist-length in revenge (okay, not really for revenge, but it sounds good). I figure if I don't comment on their hair, eventually they'll sort of become normal.

 

And anyway, long shaggy hair seems to be NORMAL for boys these days.

[Brindee]

I let mine as soon as they voice an opinion on hair. I figure it will grow out and I do veto anything that will lead to ridicule or teasing. And no chemicals until they are much older.

Wow, that is almost word for word what I was going to say!

 

My ds14's hair was getting quite shaggy, but he really didn't want to cut it. DH started to nag him about it, and I said (when dh and I were talking alone, certainly not in front of ds!), "I don't think that in the scheme of things this is really that important! There are other issues way more worth our time and effort!" He agreed and let it drop. Once ds14's older brother came home and said he wanted a hair cut, ds14 decided to get one too.

 

He's going on a mission trip in 1 month, so I told him he'd have to cut it before the trip, since they won't always (ever?) have showers to wash it in, and it'd get too dirty and be hard to take care of! He agreed, so this was the time he chose.

[Julie Herbster]

I really haven't thought a whole lot about this issue...My dc don't seem to have strong opinions about their hair. Anytime they start hankerin' for a change, we discuss it and then most often do it. Ds likes his hair buzzed, especially in summer; he's still all about ease and comfort. (I KNOW I'd buzz my hair if I were a man; I really hate fixing it.) Dd's seem to be like me: no fuss. The oldest one (age 9) cannot yet fix her own hair, so she is really not allowed to complain about how it looks when I fix it. (I do try to please her, but I'm not about to spend hours on it.) I have told her that she may choose to grow it out when she is able to care for it properly on her own (which includes shampooing, conditioning, combing out, and drying/styling).

 

All of my dc really hate to have tangles combed out; they're all tender-headed. So, it's easy to convince them that they really don't want long hair. :tongue_smilie:

[summer]

I definitely allow them to decide, unless it is way out there.

 

As a child, I wanted pretty hair. My mother always made me cut it off, short, very short. I hated it!!!!! To this day, I resent her for it, and I am almost 38 yrs old!! I look back at my pictures from gradeschool and hate them because I think I was so ugly with ugly hair. In reality, I did have a pretty face, just ugly ugly haor. Why should any person have to live their childhood feeling that way and look back on it, more than twice the years later, the way I have to look back on it? It was awful! Still is awful! I hated it!!!

 

So..short of my children wanting Mohawks, I let them decide.

[Night Elf]

Hair is hair. I've always let the kids decide how they want their hair to look, including color. My ds11 went for years wearing the bowl cut (not sure what else to call it). He now wears it past his ears. He has sensory issues though, and he has come to prefer his ears totally covered up. I help them see that neat works for any length and that a haircut does not always mean a drastic change.

 

That reminds me, my dd10 wants more fuscia for her hair and I forgot to buy it! Thanks for the reminder! :)

[Laurie4b]

As soon as they care, we let them have it the way they want to. I may encourage shaggy hair to be trimmed, but I don't insist on it. Hair is one of those things we want to give them freedom in so they don't feel a need to "bust out" in other more important ways.

[Kanga]

We let our dc choose their hairstyle at age 4. Ds wanted to look like dad. My dd wanted to look like Mowgly from the Junglebook, but she has always tended to sport the "raised by wolves" look no matter what the hair style.

[nmoira]

I've always let my kids choose: bangs or no bangs, length, when it's time for a haircut (as opposed to a trim), everything. My oldest wanted her hair pink, until I had her stylist explain to her what it would look like after a couple of weeks. I figure there's nothing they can do to their hair that will cause them irreparable harm in later life.

 

:)

[Laura Corin]

Whenever they express an interest. Hobbes is growing his hair long and Calvin has just started too.

 

Laura

[jmgconner]

I let them decide from an early age. But, I've noticed that I'm holding back with my DD. My oldest has had bleached hair, mohawks, green hair, you name it.

[amy g.]

This thread just reminded me.

 

When my 9 year old was a toddler, she would bring me a Disney movie box, and want me to fix her hair just like the princess in the picture.

 

Now, I'm talented, but not that talented.

 

I remember trying to explain, "That hair style is a drawing. It defies gravity." and finally, "Honey, Snow White is just made up."

 

Boy did that traumatize her.

 

My current toddler tries to control how I have MY hair. Tonight, she wanted my in pigtails to match her.

 

She isn't really big on respecting others yet.

[Stacia]

I've let them have it their way from the time they started expressing opinions about it.

 

Dd wants long hair (it's about mid-back, which is super-long in my book as I've had short hair most of my life) & I trim it once in awhile for her (to reduce knots or keep her bangs out of her eyes).

 

Ds has always been opinionated about his hair. I like short hair cuts on little boys, but for years, he's had a slightly shaggy look (kind of like the Beatles during their shaggy stage, lol). It's time for a trim soon because it's getting in his eyes, but he always asks the barber to leave it on the longer side.

 

So, my opinion pretty much agrees w/ many of the previous posters -- however the kids want it, for the most part.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Boy, am I going to stand out! (Tolerance for my conservative view please!)

 

I teach my children that people do make certain assumptions from our appearance. I want my children to be neat, and to "look respectful of mainstream establishment values". This means a neat haircut for my son - he gives styling tips and opinions and we have no problem with that. This means my dd's hair needs to be neat and out of her eyes. She can choose to grow her hair or to cut it but if long hair wasn't being cared for I would cut it. Having said that though, it has not been an issue for either of my children. My ds10 has noticed that many of his friends (boys) have shaggy "70's style" hair. He has said that he thinks it looks messy (he's said this in private - it isn't an issue in his relationships with his friends).

 

When they are in college or beyond they can style their hair any way they want! They have many ways to express themselves in their lives and many choices as well so we are not "controlling"! (And so far, that has been my dc's opinion as well as my own) :D

[Peela]

Ds had long hair for most of his 12 years- he had it cut short last year, his own choice. But when he was about 7, his father cut his hair with clippers himself, and ds was literally traumatised by the experience, which he felt he had no say in. His hair had been shoulder length, and now he felt "naked". I think it was that more than anything that made him grow his hair over the next few years, and I was happy that he did, and I allowed it, and told dh not to dare touch his boy's hair again. Dh ended up growing his too for a couple of years, so it was ok.

Basically, my choice would be to allow the kids right from the beginning to have their hair how they chose, within reason. If I was to force the issue, I would rather my son had long hair than short, anyway, but I think he went through a maturity spurt and wanted to look more boyish (he has very fine features) so he wanted it cut. Then a few month later, he wanted his blonde hair dyed black. I said no way for ages, then I talked to dh about it because ds kept hassling me and I wanted dh's support- dh thought it was a great idea! So I surrendered, bought the black dye from a health food store, and we did it. It looked great! It has taken 5 months to finally have it all be cut off. He looked strange for a while with blonde roots- made him look like an elderly person in a way, with grey coming through. But overall, it wasn't a bad experience.

[fivetails]

They can have pretty much whatever 'style' they want - dd11 currently has shoulder length & layered, with bangs kinda growing out, and ds9 just has the basic short cut....

 

dd11 *has* been asking for a perm though - she has stick straight hair and wants curly....I know *nothing* about perms, so I've vetoed that for the time being... I don't know, has hair-technology come far enough now that perms don't fry the hair and create poodle heads? :tongue_smilie: ...I just don't want her to damage her hair, y'know?

[lynn]

Well pretty much whenever. I have 3 boys and I always kept their hair short and neat and combed to the side but now. Well, dh wants it cut neatly. Oldest is ROTC so his is always cut neat. The other 2 have thick hair and look shaggy right now. my 13 year old likes the look and my 8 year old does not care. DD I guess she chooses her hair style at 2 she won't let me put it up often. We keep the bangs trimmed and the lady that cuts her hair takes time to cut it so it always looks cute.

[Janet in Toronto]

Cute memory after reading this...

 

This thread just reminded me.

 

When my 9 year old was a toddler, she would bring me a Disney movie box, and want me to fix her hair just like the princess in the picture.

 

Now, I'm talented, but not that talented.

 

I remember trying to explain, "That hair style is a drawing. It defies gravity." and finally, "Honey, Snow White is just made up."

 

 

 

One of my friends is a breast cancer survivor. Her daughters were about 6 and 4 when she was in treatment and she was explaining to them that she would lose her hair and need to get a wig. After the big explanation, one of the girls asked whether she could get a wig just like Snow White. My friend figured that the girls saw this as one big dress-up opportunity!

[Mom2legomaniacs]

Pretty young. I figure that I'll save my breath for the biggies. My older has longer hair and it looks good on him. He just turned 10. I will have him get cuts that clean it up -- tip the ends and thin it out -- that's all. I would prefer to pick battles carefully and fight on something big, you know. So far, no need, but I am sure the biggies day will come.

[Mrs Mungo]

We did dd's hair last night! She just wanted part of it green. It worked great even though I didn't bleach it first or anything.

 

[Jennifer in MI]

Wow, thanks for all the replies. Y'all are awesome. I had short hair and a tail in high school, so I tend to be a hair rebel.

 

It's not like he wants a mullet or anything. :001_huh:

 

OMgoodness!!! Heaven forbid!!! :lol:

 

We did dd's hair last night! She just wanted part of it green. It worked great even though I didn't bleach it first or anything.

 

 

 

That looks cute!!! Does she like it?

 

See - I'm the opposite. My boys all like their hair short. They are begging me to cut it when it starts to get a little long. I kinda' like the longer style on boys - especially the curly haired kids. My second son has curly hair that would look adorable a bit longer. But, nope!!! So, they all have short hair.

 

Dd is too young to care yet. But she does let me "do" her hair every morning.

[runningirl71]

I let them choose when they realize there really is different styles! For ds, this wasn't until he was 11 or so. Up to then, dh cut it the way he (dh) wanted. At 11 he started wanting to grow it out, so we let him. On one condition. He HAD to take care of it! That isn't always easy for a boy who doesn't really care what he looks like!:)

[Ashleen]

I thought you were going to say he wanted a mohawk or blue hair, in which case...gee, I don't know.

 

But just a matter of long or short? My kids have always had a say. My younger son still likes his longer, and it's still a fine, babysoft texture. My older son is getting thick curly hair like I have and he doesn't like curly hair on men and wants it cut very, very short all the time (like my brother, who also would have curly hair if his hair was ever long enough to curl).