cin Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 Dh got 'the' call this morning. He went to his mom's bedside and will remain there until she goes home. Please pray for him, as he is there by himself. He wanted me to stay home with the girls. I know I'm doing what is right, but I still feel like I am not doing what I should be doing. KWIM? TIA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 Praying for comfort for your husband, peace for you, and a painless passing for your mil. God bless you all. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 I'm so sorry. :grouphug: Praying for your husband and for you and your family. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbabe Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cin Posted February 18, 2012 Author Share Posted February 18, 2012 thank you all so much. I am feeling SO ALONE right now. He's with her, and I'm home with the kids, who have no idea, and are outside playing and running around like crazy. I am alone in my grief right now. And it is SO. HARD. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 Praying. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 I'm sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BamaTanya Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 :grouphug: Praying for you all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 I'm so sorry. I sat with my dear aunt a year ago as she lay dying (brain tumor). I'm sorry for how heavy and sad you feel. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denise in IN Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 :grouphug: Praying for your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 thank you all so much. I am feeling SO ALONE right now. He's with her, and I'm home with the kids, who have no idea, and are outside playing and running around like crazy. I am alone in my grief right now. And it is SO. HARD. Being alone is horrible, isn't it? We were doing this last week. And you know what? I think you should find a babysitter if at all possible and go sit with them. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WillametteMom Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 I'm so sorry. Praying for your family! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addicted2Coffee Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 I keep thinking about you and your family today. I'm so sorry for everything your going through. I wish there was something I could do to help. :grouphug: Too bad you don't live closer, I'd be happy to have your girls over to play with Little Librarian for the afternoon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyndie Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 Being alone is horrible, isn't it? We were doing this last week. And you know what? I think you should find a babysitter if at all possible and go sit with them. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Rosie I agree. Went through this last month. When it was over, DH said he was so grateful I moved heaven and earth to be there with him. Praying for your family. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:I am so sorry. You are honoring your husband's request. That may be hard, but try to take peace in knowing that you are doing what he wants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 Being alone is horrible, isn't it? We were doing this last week. And you know what? I think you should find a babysitter if at all possible and go sit with them. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Rosie I agree. Went through this last month. When it was over, DH said he was so grateful I moved heaven and earth to be there with him. Praying for your family. :grouphug: spoken from two people in the know. Is there anyone who cold sit with the girls? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma23peas Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 thank you all so much. I am feeling SO ALONE right now. He's with her, and I'm home with the kids, who have no idea, and are outside playing and running around like crazy. I am alone in my grief right now. And it is SO. HARD. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Praying or all of you, a special thing for him to be with her! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 :iagree: w/ Rosie. Is there any way you could go sit w/ him, even for a few hours? :grouphug: I'm sorry you are having to go through this. It's so hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peaceful Isle Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 :( I'm so sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjzimmer1 Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 A few years ago when my grandpa was dying, my sister brought her daughter along as she had no where else to leave her. My niece was 8 at the time. My sister told her they were there because grandpa was dying but we had no idea how long it would be. Mostly niece stayed out of the room he was in because it was so emotionally draining to be in there. However, as the rest of us drifted in and out of the room grandpa was in, Niece provided a wonderful diversion to the heaviness we all felt. Niece was very happy she has a chance to say goodbye and we were thankful she was there because she went and got us drinks snacks, kleenex, more kleenex, and even more kleenex as the night progressed. My sister hadn't wanted to bring her daughter but afterward everyone was very glad she did. While your husband might think he doesn't want them there, I would probably drop in and at least give him that temporary diversion. Somehow it made the waiting so much easier. :grouphug: for this difficult time no matter what you decide. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I agree, get a sitter if you can. You have my condolences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 Poor guy :( and you and the rest of your family :( hugs.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheApprentice Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cin Posted February 19, 2012 Author Share Posted February 19, 2012 Thank you all so much. Part of our problem with me not going, is that we don't want to tell our girls yet. They know that grandma is sick and dying, but my oldest has horrible anxiety and depression (yeah, at age 10). We would prefer not to tell her until we are pretty much leaving for the memorial service, but I know we have to tell her before then. He actually took his backpack with him this morning and left a note for them that he had to go to work. I had thought about somehow sneaking out to go over, but DH pointedly did not tell MIL's dear friend about the phone call, so he could have time with mom. I was rather surprised by that, but he told me he wanted to be alone. I also realized that I have a horrific cold, and probably shouldn't even walk into the building. I know it wouldn't affect his mom, but the other residents don't need my germs. After spending almost 9 hours there today, he did leave. His mom actually sort of stabilized. She didn't come back, but she stabilized, as he put it, near death's door. We aren't surprised by this. She was always healthy as a horse, constantly exercising, walking 2-3 miles a day AND doing aerobics, mowing the neighbors' lawns in the summer, etc. Her heart is probably healthier than that of a 25 yr old. The hospice nurse actually told him it was ok to go home. He's had time to say whatever he needed to say. His children (and wife) need him. They are incredible. I could SO not do that job. The only job harder than that, would be to work for a pediatric hospice. DH plans to go back tomorrow, if she is still with us. Again, thank you all so much. I so appreciate the hugs and prayers. It has kept me going today. You guys are the bestest! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Praying for your dh and your MIL, Cin, as well as for you and your kids. And please don't beat yourself up for not being able to be there. I know others have suggested that you should get a babysitter and go, but I was in the same situation you're in when my MIL was dying, and I felt awful that my dh was there alone with her, but it turned out that he felt better that I was home with our ds, rather than being at the hospital, because it kept things "normal" for ds for as long as possible. He truly never resented it that I wasn't there -- although I felt terribly guilty about it at the time, and even for quite a while afterward. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trailofsparks Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 :grouphug: prayers for you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 Prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 thank you all so much. I am feeling SO ALONE right now. He's with her, and I'm home with the kids, who have no idea, and are outside playing and running around like crazy. I am alone in my grief right now. And it is SO. HARD. :grouphug::grouphug: Praying. It is so hard to be the waiter......and alone. Do you have a girlfriend who can come sit with you...and distract you, or make you tea?? Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pie Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 so sorry... my prayers are with you :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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