Women with backbone..let's talk about it..

[Bang!Zoom!]

Grow up with some great examples of women with backbone? Steely determination, single-minded, goal achieving, take no**** from anyone and total respect?

 

Share stories of strong women.

 

I was lucky to grow up with a bunch of examples.

[Mrs Mungo]

My grandmother sued the US government in the Supreme Court and won.

[Unicorn.]

My grandmother sued the US government in the Supreme Court and won.

 

Nice! :D

[Bang!Zoom!]

Tremendous!

[Moxie]

My grandmother sued the US government in the Supreme Court and won.

 

Story please!

[Farrar]

My mother was (and still is) a strong woman. As a teenager, I remember she had this Marge Piercy poem and I always found it really backbone inspiring:

 

A strong woman is a woman who is straining

A strong woman is a woman standing

on tiptoe and lifting a barbell

while trying to sing "Boris Godunov."

A strong woman is a woman at work

cleaning out the cesspool of the ages,

and while she shovels, she talks about

how she doesn't mind crying, it opens

the ducts of the eyes, and throwing up

develops the stomach muscles, and

she goes on shoveling with tears in her nose.

A strong woman is a woman in whose head

a voice is repeating, I told you so,

ugly, bad girl, b****, nag, shrill, witch,

ballbuster, nobody will ever love you back,

why aren't you feminine, why aren't

you soft, why aren't you quiet, why aren't you dead?

A strong woman is a woman determined

to do something others are determined

not be done. She is pushing up on the bottom

of a lead coffin lid. She is trying to raise

a manhole cover with her head, she is trying

to butt her way through a steel wall.

Her head hurts. People waiting for the hole

to be made say, hurry, you're so strong.

A strong woman is a woman bleeding

inside. A strong woman is a woman making

herself strong every morning while her teeth

loosen and her back throbs. Every baby,

a tooth, midwives used to say, and now

every battle a scar. A strong woman

is a mass of scar tissue that aches

when it rains and wounds that bleed

when you bump them and memories that get up

in the night and pace in boots to and fro.

A strong woman is a woman who craves love

like oxygen or she turns blue choking.

A strong woman is a woman who loves

strongly and weeps strongly and is strongly

terrified and has strong needs. A strong woman is strong

in words, in action, in connection, in feeling;

she is not strong as a stone but as a wolf

suckling her young. Strength is not in her, but she

enacts it as the wind fills a sail.

What comforts her is others loving

her equally for the strength and for the weakness

from which it issues, lightning from a cloud.

Lightning stuns. In rain, the clouds disperse.

Only water of connection remains,

flowing through us. Strong is what we make

each other. Until we are all strong together,

a strong woman is a woman strongly afraid.

[Anne in CA]

My great grandmother left an alcoholic, abusive husband in the 30's and still attended Catholic church every day even though she wasn't welcomed by the other women. She went on to have a good career and raise three children by herself.

 

My grandmother was a teacher and told she couldn't teach children to read by phonics anymore. She had all the children who were going to be in her first grade class the next year come to her house every day for an hour in the summer to teach them to read correctly. She was a home schooler :D.

[Karen in CO]

My grandparents made moonshine in the deep, deep South during Prohibition. Grandpa made the moonshine, and Grandma carried the money and the gun. She was made of stronger stuff than just about anyone I've ever met.

[mommaduck]

Yeah, I knew some, but it seemed that they had major flaws in other areas. Eventually, I did finally run into some that were well balanced.

 

My experience as a child is that those that had a backbone, were tough, cold, anti-family/children, etc. The opposite end were complete doormats. I can say that I had three female teachers and a female principal that had a bit of balance...kind, caring, but won't take squat from anyone and had high expectations out of us. The principle probably came off as cold and tough to others, but then she was 6', wore 3" spiked heels, was abt 60yrs, and a retired Naval officer. I'm used to the military and I also got to experience some of her kindness. The boys that had started wearing their pants around their rear ends though, well, they got the military kick-butt side of her when she would walk up behind them (how she could do that so silently was amazing!) and yanked their pants up by the belt loop with a low warning to fix the issue.

 

One grandmother was tough, but cold. You were nothing to her without a degree. Motherhood was something to be tolerated, not enjoyed.

 

Another grandmother was a sweetheart. However, I hear my grandfather decided to get WAY out of line one time. A smack to the head with a hot iron and he never got out of line again...and she continued as the sweet grandmother.

Edited January 4, 2012 by mommaduck

[Mrs Mungo]

She sued for money owed to our tribe. She incorporated in order to find and enroll members of the tribe.

[Carol in Cal.]

My great-grandmother. I never met her, but the stories about her made her a towering figure in our family. She was orphaned in her teens, cheated out of her inheritance, separated from her brothers and sisters (no one took in all 8 of them), and emigrated to the US with another girl when they were still quite young. She worked as a domestic for many years, until she got married. She is known in the family for being completely determined, generous, a strong Lutheran, an advocate for what she believed in, and a tremendously loving friend, parishioner, and relative.

There are so many stories about her!

 

The hobos would always knock on HER door, and she would come out on the porch, say, wait here, and fix them a big hot meal--bacon, eggs, toast, the works--and bring it out to them on a tray. They knew that this was the generous house, out of all the ones on the street.

 

When she got up in the morning she would open the windows and start singing hymns.

 

She baked weekly--bread, coffee cakes, pies, cookies--and enjoyed having friends over to share.

 

When her only daughter married, the young family lived in the flat above hers in the building she owned. She and her husband were never wealthy, but they were both frugal and generous. They were both very hard workers and also known for being of good character. GGF had a ship's chandlery and was known as 'Honest John' because he didn't cheat on weights and such as most did.

 

If a JW came to her door asking whether she knew about the truth of the Scriptures as exposited in the Watchtower, she would invite them in to hear about the truth of the Scriptures as taught by Dr. Luther, and they would debate for hours, pulling out their Bibles. (Everyone else I have ever heard of simply failed to answer the door.)

 

When my GF died and we cleaned out the house, I found, deep in a tablet, a draft of a handwritten letter that GGM wrote to her relatives in Germany. I had to hunt down an old German man who could still read the script to even puzzle out the words, and then get them translated. In it, characteristically, she told all the family news, described aspects of life in America to those who were unfamiliar with it, and talked about her faith and how things should be.

 

She was never afraid to speak her mind, but did it so lovingly that everyone adored her. She epitomized, "Speak the Truth in love." I am fortunate to have grown up with her as a role model and with her only daughter, my GM, as my beloved example. It is unusual to find strong women who stayed home and who were loving as well as strong--being neither a doormat nor a hardshell. I am so glad that I actually saw how to 'disagree without being disagreeable' played out in real life, although I don't always emulate that like I should.

Edited January 4, 2012 by Carol in Cal.

[mommaduck]

My grandparents made moonshine in the deep, deep South during Prohibition. Grandpa made the moonshine, and Grandma carried the money and the gun. She was made of stronger stuff than just about anyone I've ever met.

:lol: My family also! One cousin was near 7ft and the fastest runner in the county. They eventually made him Game Warden and thus began the political careers of the Hellhole Gang!

[Negin]

My grandmother sued the US government in the Supreme Court and won.

Wow! :D

[butterflymommy]

My paternal grandmother would kill bugs with her bare hands.... big bugs.

[Heather in Neverland]

My grandmother raised 12 children in the deep woods of Alabama by herself after my grandfather died of black lung when the 12th child was only a year old.

 

12 children. 9 boys, 3 girls. By herself.

 

They had no electricity and no indoor plumbing.

 

2 of the boys became pastors. 6 of them began a very lucrative logging company.

 

That 12th child became the first person in our family's history to graduate from college.

 

2 of the girls became nurses. 1 of them is my mom. :D

 

In addition, my grandmother read the bible all the way through every year for the last 15 years of her life. She is in heaven now sitting at the feet of the Almighty.

 

Not too shabby for someone who never made it past the 8th grade.

 

 

 

.

[Bang!Zoom!]

When I was coming up in the early '70's, it was *THE* era of the divorced woman with a family, and all the social upheaval that went with it.

 

One of my favorite role models...her first name was Jean...would come home, put on her LP's, play Helen Reddy..."I am Woman, Hear Me Roar"....lol..we'd dance around her living room acting up, it was our fun-time as kids, but for her, it was her refilling and renewing and closure of the day all at once.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmifO2sKT7g

 

Even though in the above Reddy is performing it all Holly Hobbie sweet...this is *not* the emotive presentation I heard Jean sing when she came home from her job. It was, for all intent and purpose, a genuine war-cry at the end of the day.

 

I can remember her, hands on her hips, "A woman can do for herself."

 

And she did. Never compromised. Not once.

 

Carried herself with such utter self-respect and dignity, called BS BS to it's face; she was awesome in confrontation if required.

 

Lady was fierce.

[J-rap]

My grandmother raised 12 children in the deep woods of Alabama by herself after my grandfather died of black lung when the 12th child was only a year old.

 

12 children. 9 boys, 3 girls. By herself.

 

They had no electricity and no indoor plumbing.

 

2 of the boys became pastors. 6 of them began a very lucrative logging company.

 

That 12th child became the first person in our family's history to graduate from college.

 

2 of the girls became nurses. 1 of them is my mom. :D

 

In addition, my grandmother read the bible all the way through every year for the last 15 years of her life. She is in heaven now sitting at the feet of the Almighty.

 

Not too shabby for someone who never made it past the 8th grade.

 

 

 

.

 

That story gave me shivers!! :)

[*********]

My grandmother sued the US government in the Supreme Court and won.

 

Story please!

 

She sued for money owed to our tribe. She incorporated in order to find and enroll members of the tribe.

 

Rock on with your bad self, granny! :D

 

My grandmother raised 12 children in the deep woods of Alabama by herself after my grandfather died of black lung when the 12th child was only a year old.

 

12 children. 9 boys, 3 girls. By herself.

 

They had no electricity and no indoor plumbing.

 

2 of the boys became pastors. 6 of them began a very lucrative logging company.

 

That 12th child became the first person in our family's history to graduate from college.

 

2 of the girls became nurses. 1 of them is my mom. :D

 

In addition, my grandmother read the bible all the way through every year for the last 15 years of her life. She is in heaven now sitting at the feet of the Almighty.

 

Not too shabby for someone who never made it past the 8th grade.

 

 

 

.

 

That story gave me shivers!! :)

 

Me too! Thank you for sharing that, Heather. That's the 'type' of strong woman I aspire to be.

[Bang!Zoom!]

Heather, if you post a picture of her, I would cherish that viewing very much.

 

I'll see if I can find one of my GG Grandmother, that chick was packin' a story...

[BigMamaBird]

My Grandma was that way.

 

After my Grandpa died, she planted a shrub at his grave site. She received a very rude phone call from the cemetery, not simply telling her she couldn't plant it, but pretty much scolding her and chewing her out. She said "forget that!" and had him dug up and moved to another cemetery where she could plant any darn thing she wished!

 

The siblings had a second grave side service and my Dad wrote a poem for Grandma.

 

"Red is the rose,

Green is the grass,

If you don't like my bushes

You can all kiss my ___"

 

Grandma doesn't put up with much nonsense.

[Bang!Zoom!]

Historic!

[TeacherZee]

Two more strong grandmothers here.

 

Both my grandmothers are/were college graduates. My paternal grandmother in a time and place where women didn't even go to high school. She went on to get her Masters with 6 kids. Her house was always open and she and my grandfather always invited students at the local college to Thanksgiving if they couldn't get home. In addition to that she was someone we grandchildren could ALWAYS talk to. Despite being 86 when she died she was our FRIEND. She listened and made us feel like the most important people in the world.

 

My maternal grandmother grew up in a working class family where formal education, especially for women, wasn't valued. She insisted on going to high school and to teacher college. She also single handedly organised a "summer family"* for herself when she was a kid. She was included in a book about teachers that meant something. She had a student who had a mother with severe mental health problems. The girl was severely bullied because she smelled as the mother didn't provide clean clothes or soap to wash with. My grandmother made sure that the girl was able to wash at school and bought her new clothes. She also did her very best to protect her from the bullies and got the family help from social services. That girl grew up to become an author who has written several books about bullying and she always sites my grandmother as the woman who saved her life.

 

My grandmothers are my heroes.

 

(*sort of like Fresh Air Kids)

[Shelly in IL]

She has her moments, but this is what she did...

At age 14 and in the middle of the depression, her mother was put in a mental institution, her elder sister married to get out, but she still had a little brother.

 

Mom raised that boy, cooked, cleaned and was the mother/housekeeper/farm overseer while her father worked - they were very poor. While all this was going on, she stayed in highschool and got the very highest marks in her "city" class - in with Dr. and Lawyers kids - they were bussed. She still can't talk about what happened with her mother - she pushes it down and will never talk about any of that.

 

When I whine, I sometimes think of her life...

 

Using my mom's smarts (add that to the part I wrote on edited)

Edited January 4, 2012 by Shelly in IL
Edited to add: she married my dad and the two of them have built up a multi million dollar estate. My dad's labor, my mom's

[Caribbean Queen]

My Grandma was that way.

 

After my Grandpa died, she planted a shrub at his grave site. She received a very rude phone call from the cemetery, not simply telling her she couldn't plant it, but pretty much scolding her and chewing her out. She said "forget that!" and had him dug up and moved to another cemetery where she could plant any darn thing she wished!

 

The siblings had a second grave side service and my Dad wrote a poem for Grandma.

 

"Red is the rose,

Green is the grass,

If you don't like my bushes

You can all kiss my ___"

 

Grandma doesn't put up with much nonsense.

:lol:

[Jennifer3141]

My Grandma was that way.

 

After my Grandpa died, she planted a shrub at his grave site. She received a very rude phone call from the cemetery, not simply telling her she couldn't plant it, but pretty much scolding her and chewing her out. She said "forget that!" and had him dug up and moved to another cemetery where she could plant any darn thing she wished!

 

The siblings had a second grave side service and my Dad wrote a poem for Grandma.

 

"Red is the rose,

Green is the grass,

If you don't like my bushes

You can all kiss my ___"

 

Grandma doesn't put up with much nonsense.

 

 

I want to be your grandma someday!!!

[Aurelia]

My Grandma was that way.

 

After my Grandpa died, she planted a shrub at his grave site. She received a very rude phone call from the cemetery, not simply telling her she couldn't plant it, but pretty much scolding her and chewing her out. She said "forget that!" and had him dug up and moved to another cemetery where she could plant any darn thing she wished!

 

The siblings had a second grave side service and my Dad wrote a poem for Grandma.

 

"Red is the rose,

Green is the grass,

If you don't like my bushes

You can all kiss my ___"

 

Grandma doesn't put up with much nonsense.

 

Love it!

[elegantlion]

My mother has the backbone of a T-rex. If you need to deal with a customer service issues, she's the woman. She grew up in the poor country. She had to leave home, move to town, live on her and work just to finish high school.

 

My MIL is strong as well. She was widowed with 5 children at a young age. She went to college, rose to national recognition in her chosen field, then retired and writes murder mystery novels. She does most her own promotion work.

 

My great grandmother was a doctor in Germany before immigrating to the US. I don't know if it was the time or the area but she didn't get her doctor's license in the states. She acted as midwife and doctor for my mom's family and more.

Edited January 4, 2012 by elegantlion

[*Inna*]

My grandma. She raised 5 kids, working 2-3 jobs, while caring for a disabled husband. Then, after his passing, marrying an alcoholic and taking care of him.

 

She drank, cursed like a sailor, had tattoos. She was hard as flint.

I remember her chasing her second husband, holding a huge cast iron skillet. :glare:

 

Not very sweet memories, but I learned to admire her strength and courage.

[hillfarm]

Grandma Harriet raised two children as a deaf and "dumb" woman during the depression. In her free time, she earned prize money as a champion Charleston dancer! She could "hear" the beat through the vibration in the floor.

 

Granny Nora stood (usually physically) between her abusive, alcoholic husband and her 4 daughters. She paid a heavy price. She somehow remained a wonderful, warm and loving person and was called "Granny" by every resident of her small town.

 

Grandma Garnet was widowed at 40 with 4 children. She worked her way up from being a file clerk in a bank to being the first woman vice president in banking in the entire region.

 

GGG...Grandma Rhoda married a white man and left her beloved North Carolina mountains when she perceived politics turning dirty. They narrowly escaped being forced to join the forced Trail of Tears march. She gathered her family in Kentucky, and changed her reported "race" on various legal documents 3 times, from colored to non-white to indian in an attempt to lessen persecution. She eventually moved her whole extended family to Missouri to be closer to relatives who had been relocated.

 

Ms. Donna was the first woman to receive a farm loan from the Farm Bureau in our state in her own name, independent of a husband. She had 12 children and 4 husbands. Even though now advanced in age, she is the person most likely to call me from jail to come bail her out. Her most recent legal troubles stemmed from her participation in the fight to legally sell raw milk from her farm.

 

Ms. Eleanor raised her own 2 sons and in her 60's continued to work as a maid. Then, in order to keep 2 infant girls from being abandoned, she adopted them and raised them herself.

 

I guess I have a bit of a reverse "Tiger Mom" attitude about women. We are not weak, with only a few rising up to be strong. We all have the capacity for incredible strength within us.

 

As for me, not much to report. However, as a 50+yo homeschool mom, I am training in a serious form of combat/street fighting and am currently training toward my certification to teach women's self defense. We all have IT in us!

[sparrow]

My mom.

 

Lived with an alcoholic, abusive father that held the family at gunpoint, more than once. Dropped out of high school to help my grandma pay the bills after her dad died of cirrhosis. Widowed at 21. Remarried my dad. Built two businesses with him, that included her clearing property with a back-hoe and a bulldozer. Raised me to understand *I* knew best for my kids and completely supported homeschooling.

 

She could also rock a pair of leather pants :D. She has dementia now, so I hope she remembers how cool she is.

[*Lulu*]

I had several women with backbone in my life.

 

My adopted grandmother became an AF nurse during WWII. Before her retirement she rose to the rank of Lt. Col., lived all over the world, and ran the nursing department at a military hospital on a mid-sized air base. She was married, but left by her husband when their child was stillborn. She was tough. She was loving. She was one of the most supportive people in my life growing up. She showed me that you do the right thing even when it is the hard thing, and that most of the time the right thing will be the hard thing.

 

My great grandmother was orphaned during the great Mississippi flood, and the yellow fever that followed it. She and her surviving siblings were parceled out to relatives hundreds of miles away. She studied to become a school teacher, and taught until she married. She was widowed in her early 50's, and returned to the work force until her first pacemaker was put in. She outlasted cancer, back surgery, and two pacemakers, she mowed her yard until she was in her 80's, and kept her own home until hr death at age 97. She tought me frugality. She tought me that it is possible to tell someone to go to hell so nicely that they take it as well as offering another cookie.

 

I was blessed by thier influence throughout my childhood and early adulthood. Thier passing still hurts, but thier legacy is strong. When I contemplate my life I first wonder if God would be pleased, then I wonder if these two women would be proud. When I am able to answer yes to both questions I feel all is well.

[Parrothead]

My mom has a backbone. She passed it on to me.

[swellmomma]

I don't know much about the stories of my grandparents or great grandparents, though my gramma Joyce seemed to be a tough old bird. She was married to an alcoholic abusive man and left when he tried to kill her after the death of one of her sons. She continued to raise my mom on her own for years living in a 1 bedroom apt, sharing 1 bed until she met her second husband. In the end of her life she fought cancer hard and never gave up her faith that what happens happens for a reason. SHe never ever had a why me attitude about anything.

 

My mom moved out and away from her province to come to this one alone at 16. She was working and living on her own until she met my dad. She went back to high school when I was 9 years old and that is how she got her current job. She was hired to type letters and stuff envelopes. While working there she went to night school to get her college certificate. And now runs the office for the entire province.

 

The examples I have are not as amazing as the stories listed here but I think they had backbones. I like to think I do too.

[QuirkyKapers]

My Grandma was that way.

 

After my Grandpa died, she planted a shrub at his grave site. She received a very rude phone call from the cemetery, not simply telling her she couldn't plant it, but pretty much scolding her and chewing her out. She said "forget that!" and had him dug up and moved to another cemetery where she could plant any darn thing she wished!

 

The siblings had a second grave side service and my Dad wrote a poem for Grandma.

 

"Red is the rose,

Green is the grass,

If you don't like my bushes

You can all kiss my ___"

 

Grandma doesn't put up with much nonsense.

:lol:

[TheHomeScientist]

My grandmother sued the US government in the Supreme Court and won.

 

Good on her.

 

I'll bet she never used an apostrophe to pluralize, either.

[TheHomeScientist]

My father's mother trained to become a nurse when that was still frowned upon in polite society, and then immediately turned around and joined the US Army and served as a nurse in France. She was as tough a woman as I have ever known.

 

My other grandmother's grandmother was active in the abolition movement before the Civil War. The home where she and her parents lived was a stop on the Underground Railroad, and she actively participated in transporting escaped slaves to Canada.

[Bang!Zoom!]

On the way to change buses today, I was thinking about your stories.

 

I saw this woman. And I was absolutely thrilled by what she represented to the point I needed (I mean *breathlessly needed*) and scrambled to catch the image/moment.

 

This woman, the artful epitome' of a warrior-ess in training. :)

 

http://twitpic.com/8359dc

[meggie]

The toughest lady I know is my MIL. Pregnant at 14, had DH at 15. Went to live with her father and stepmother, but became self sufficient as soon as possible. Lived in a trailer with DH without running water or electricity, went to college to become a head start teacher so she could be self sufficient. It's not much compared to a lot of people, but it was tough for her and she beat a lot of odds to provide a good home for her and her son.

[Mama Geek]

I met an 80+ year old lady who ran a fishing cabin in Alaska. You could either boat or fly in, but there were no roads to get you there. She talked about in her younger days having a good for nothing husband and taking her 2 young children out on a fishing boat in Alaska by herself in order to make money to survive. She also spent time with her next husband living on a sailboat in Mexico.

[Audrey]

I come from a long line of trouble-making women. My great-grandmother was deeply involved in the Temperance and Suffragette movements. My great aunt was a famous (infamous?) Anarchist in the early part of the last century. My grandmother was an Army nurse during WWII and later a union organizer stateside. My mother organized refugee assistance for illegal Cuban refugees before the boat lift in the 70's.

 

We not only don't take any s**t, we make a point of stirring up the stink of other people's s**t.

[Holly IN]

In answer to the OP...I am one of those women....:D and I do not have many friends. :001_huh: So I am enjoying this thread. LOL!

I got my backbone from my dad not my mother. However his grandmother was the one with the mean streak of a backbone. Still love her very much!! She lived to be 98 years old. :)

I am very blunt and I like people that are blunt back to me. It is a joke in our family that I have a lot of testosterone and should have been male. hee hee!

 

Anyway I am enjoying this thread. To top my post off....I am a staunch conservative politically but not conservative like the ladies against feminism. However I am not a fan of the sufferage movement. I do agree in part of it but not whole. kwim??

 

Holly

Edited January 5, 2012 by Holly IN

[Joker]

My mom.

 

She married her high school sweetheart and he proceeded to beat the snot out of her. She was able to get out of there by the end of the first year. I'm very proud of her for that.

 

She then married my dad and had four children. Twelve years ago my dad and brother were in an accident and both died as a result. I thought my mom would break but she walked in the hospital and gathered us up and told us we would be ok. We were all adults (except the brother who died) but she was still taking care of us. She also worked very hard on us not losing our faith through it. She even took us to see the boy who caused the accident and she told him it was ok and that she didn't want this to ruin his life. I still don't know how she did it but she's a huge part of the reason I came through it ok.