5LittleMonkeys Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 My recent thread on tithing has made something that I was trying to suppress come into full light. I admire so much those of you who are confident in where you are with your faith and can speak so intelligently about your religion. It has made it painfully obvious to me how empty I feel knowing that I don't have what you have. I struggle though in how to learn about God and grow in my faith if I can't handle religion? Maybe it's just that I haven't found the right religion? And by religion I guess I mean more denomination since I firmly believe in Christianity. I've never attended church regularly but those times that I have I always left with a bad taste in my mouth either due to what a specific denomination believed or because the people of the church were such a huge disappointment to me. I haven't tried them all but because of my experiences from my youth and from talking to those of certain denominations I just have gotten this wrong opinion that none of them are going to fit with what I'm looking for. I've been okay with having no religion for a long time but lately I'm feeling removed from God and have questions no one seems to be able to answer. In fact sometimes when I've brought up questions or doubts that I have I feel like I'm looked upon as not being a true Christian. Maybe I'm not though because right now I don't feel saved. Does that make sense? I believe in God and in Jesus but I don't feel them walking with me. I feel something is missing....lost. I think I used to feel their presence, especially at one point in my life where I was praying hard and often because of a crises. I remember feeling completely enveloped in God's arms one night when I was at my most desperate and remember all at once feeling completely at peace and knew everything was going to work out alright. I miss that feeling...somehow I've lost it and I feel empty not having it. I believe in God as a supreme being and that he created everything. I tend toward an old earth but I don't disbelieve that a young earth is possible. I tend to believe in creation but I don't disbelieve that God could have put evolution in motion. Neither has any bearing on my belief in God or in my belief that Jesus is the Son of God and that he died on the cross to atone for my sins. I believe God has granted me salvation and that I have only to accept it, however, I'm not sure how to go about doing that. I'm not sure how I feel about the Bible at this point as far as whether it is the literal word of God. I'm not opposed to that idea, but it was written down by man who was given free will. ((Not looking to debate that here...just putting my beliefs at this time out there.) One thing about this is that I'm not well educated in the Bible so people quoting scripture to me doesn't help. I'm not a stupid person but passages taken out of context don't make sense to me. I just got a study Bible from my dad and am going to start reading through it after Christmas so hopefully some of my questions regarding it will become answered.) Dh has a very strong faith and says that he feels God walk beside him daily. He talks to God throughout the day and says that he feels\hears Him. He doesn't feel church is necessary to his faith or his understanding. He identifies himself as Catholic and said that growing up he had many priests tell him things that really solidified his faith and what he believed. (I know there are those who will argue that attending church is something the Bible tells us we must do but he doesn't interpret it that way. ) I've never had what he had in his youth. I feel like I'm babbling. I don't even know what I'm asking here. I just know that I'm hurting in my heart and I need someone to tell me that they get it. PM me if you feel more inclined to share in private but don't worry that posting anything here will offend or upset me. I've pretty much just shared with all of you the most private thing I could ever share...I'm an open book at this point. Okay, hitting submit with my heart in my mouth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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