Do you babysit for your sibling's kids some Saturday nights?

[Guest]

I'm not exactly feeling resentful, just maybe...unsure! He never offers to watch my kids (as my friends do if they ever ask me to watch their kids). And I kind of don't think he would (or it would be pretty reluctantly) if I asked, though I never have asked since he's been married. As I said, he's asked me at some rather odd times in the past (his wife is sick and he wants to go to a football game), twice in one weekend when my husband had taken the kids out of town so I could have a break. So that is where I'm not sure what is really expected in most cases of family.

 

And this is at their house on a Saturday night, not mine. That's a completely different situation than having them come to my house. I see lots of people responding that it would be no problem, but the kids would come to their house. But that is not what they are asking or what they want. And it really wouldn't work anyway as we don't have cribs and they wouldn't go to bed. Our house is not at all childproofed for little ones, and I know they'd worry about that, too.

 

I see. If I were babysitting during bedtime hours, I wouldn't have a problem going there if the child/children would not sleep at my house. My other niece and nephew (SIL's children) would sleep at our house so that wasn't ever a problem. They just slept in a playpen. I would try that and see if it would work, and if not, then just babysit at their house.

 

Now if your brother doesn't watch your kids in return, I think you should tell him this needs to be a two-way street.

[jujsky]

OP, I somehow missed the part about the time your brother asked you to watch the kids twice in one weekend when your DH took the kids out of town so you could have a break. I hope you said no to that one. Homeschooling moms get precious little alone time and we NEED it! If my DH took my kids out of town and someone asked me to baby-sit, he'd be ticked if I did it. I'd do it for a family member or close friend in an emergency situation, but that's it. I guard my alone time.

[HeidiKC]

I would, personally, baby-proof my house if it wasn't so I could do it at home, but I would also be willing to babysit over there sometimes. If they aren't willing to let you do it at your house sometimes, that seems odd. You say it won't work, but I don't see how it wouldn't. Most people just baby-proof certain areas and keep the kids out of any areas that aren't safe. I think this situation is being made more difficult than it has to be, in all honesty.

 

Anyway, I think it's wonderful when siblings trade babysitting duties.

 

I guess I should at least ask them next time if they want to bring them here. I am not that worried about childproofing, but it does mean a lot more work here than over there (my boys have 8 million tiny lego pieces all over the place!). They say the girls won't sleep here when I suggested it for daytime, and they were definitely right! I spent an hour trying to get them to sleep (we don't have cribs so they slept on cots), and they cried and cried because they were so tired! But I suppose we should give it a whirl at night - maybe it would be different.

 

I'm just anticipating that they'll say they'd rather not (which I do understand, having to get the kids up and all), so that's why I asked if it's out of the ordinary for people to babysit AT their siblings home Saturday nights. Yes, it would be inconvenient for me, but I also just want to do the right thing. I have no experience with family babysitting, so don't really know where (or if) the line is drawn in cases like this. I do want to help out, and know it won't always be convenient for me. But if that is what families do, that's fine. I don't have any framework for this and haven't heard of any of my friends going to siblings houses without their kids on a Saturday night to babysit.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I don't think it's weird to ask. But I also think that if you're not available, it's ok to say no.

 

I have been blessed with incredible friends, neighbors and even a babysitting coop. I've had family members (including a SIL) who flew across the country and even to other countries to watch my kids when I needed to travel without them.

 

What about making more specific swaps? He calls to ask if you can watch the twins. You say, "Oh, a date night sounds great. How about if Dh and I watch your kids this week and you guys can watch ours next week?"

 

Back when Artichoke was really little, I used to sit for the next door neighbors in base housing. Dh would put our kids down. I would put theirs to bed. Then he'd set up the baby monitor in the older boys' room and bring the receiver and baby Artichoke to the neighbors townhouse. We'd sit and watch DVDs on their couch and have our little couples time. :lol: Got through most of the Hornblower series that way back before we owned a DVD player.

[snickelfritz]

I think you should ask him to watch your kids sometime. They would still probably need to be at their house (I do understand that part.). But I think their answer and reluctance/enthusiasm would help you decide what to do in the future.

 

I would have also said no while dh had my kids out of town. But the occasional evening is a perk of having family close (both in going out AND in watching the kids and developing a relationship with them.

 

ETA: Our SIL often came to our house when ours were infants. It WAS easier for her to have the baby in her own environment. That was her choice, though. Now....she still comes to our house, unless it's going to be late. We let her pick and she has a smaller apartment. So, she brings her son and all the kids enjoy the gameroom.

Edited December 9, 2011 by snickelfritz

[Unicorn.]

All of my nieces and nephews are grown, but sure, I would do it. Not all the time, but occasionally. I might also have my kids help me pick up anything dangerous to littles, and babysit at my house. It doesn't have to be "babyproof", and you don't need cribs. Throw a blanket on the floor if they need to go to sleep. We sometimes babysit for dh's cousin who has a 7 yo and a 1 yo. I don't babyproof, I just pick up and vacuum.

[jennsmile]

I still stand by my advice that the kids can come to my house. Yes you don't see that as an option but really kids will sleep places other than their cribs, they can stay up late one night while mom and dad are out to a reasonable hour (in my mind that is 10ish) and fall asleep on the way home. Yes they may be a little cranky the next day or sleep in but it isn't the end of the world.

 

My SIL's house is not 100% babyproof but she still manages when my kids go over, even little ones. Often her teens can redirect them to activities they can play. She has antiques, a wood stove and many breakables so I do know that even a non childproof house can be invaded for a time without ill effect.

[Guest]

I guess I should at least ask them next time if they want to bring them here. I am not that worried about childproofing, but it does mean a lot more work here than over there (my boys have 8 million tiny lego pieces all over the place!). They say the girls won't sleep here when I suggested it for daytime, and they were definitely right! I spent an hour trying to get them to sleep (we don't have cribs so they slept on cots), and they cried and cried because they were so tired! But I suppose we should give it a whirl at night - maybe it would be different.

 

I'm just anticipating that they'll say they'd rather not (which I do understand, having to get the kids up and all), so that's why I asked if it's out of the ordinary for people to babysit AT their siblings home Saturday nights. Yes, it would be inconvenient for me, but I also just want to do the right thing. I have no experience with family babysitting, so don't really know where (or if) the line is drawn in cases like this. I do want to help out, and know it won't always be convenient for me. But if that is what families do, that's fine. I don't have any framework for this and haven't heard of any of my friends going to siblings houses without their kids on a Saturday night to babysit.

 

I think it depends on the relationship with the siblings. I feel like it's completely normal to swap babysitting. I was the first to have children and my siblings were obsessed with my kids. They WANTED to babysit. I never really went anywhere, though, so they just came over and stayed. My brother would come for the weekend and stay over (he lived an hour away) and my sister would do the same (she lived 20 minutes away). We loved it. Now that we are a plane ride away, they will just fly out and stay here. As you can see we are pretty close. My dh actually just bought my mom a plane ticket (it's our Christmas presents, lol). She will be here a week. Anwyay, I am getting off track. My siblings would mostly just come over and stay. I never really left, although when I was stuck in the hospital on bedrest with my second child, my sister came and stayed with my son. She and my mom did it in shifts until dad got home.

 

I used to babysit my other niece and nephew (SIL's kids) everyday for awhile. She did pay me for that since it was all day while she worked (five days a week). After my sister had a baby, she needed me to babysit while she worked also. This was not at the same time I babysat other niece and nephew. I did that until she moved. She also paid for that.

 

If it's everyday for work, we decided that should be paid. If it's just once in awhile or an emergency, that is free. I do think this is how most people do it.

 

I do understand not wanting to wake up children and take them home. For me, I would just train the kids to sleep at my house so sometimes it could be at my house, other times I would do it at their house. I would be willing to watch the my nieces and nephews overnight, though. As they get a little older, they will probably want to. My kids love it when we visit and we get to stay at our relatives homes, and vice versa.

Edited December 9, 2011 by Jinnah

[5kidsforME]

I would on occasion when it worked out.

 

As far as them not coming to your house, for me that would severly limit my availability. If they and you want it to happen more I would invest in a couple of pack n plays, and childproof a small area of your home. OR Just be on top of them while they're there.

 

To me it is silly not to have them come to your house. Make it work so it is more convenient for you. Tell them you would love to but they have to come to your home if they want the free sitting.

 

The one thing odd about this whole situation is the refusal on their part to bring their kids to you and your reluctance to have them in your home.

 

I find it odd BUT I guess if you're fine with it....:confused:

[Guest]

Just wanted to add that I would not want to do it the one weekend I had to myself!

[Coffeetime]

ETA: I really appreciate all the replies, but most of them have included that they'd be glad to do it but the kids would come to their home. That is not an option and not what I'm asking. We don't have cribs, the girls wouldn't sleep here, our house is not childproofed, etc. and I am pretty sure they wouldn't like that option. This past summer they needed someone to watch the girls during the day (my SIL was sick) and I offered to do it two days/week, but said they'd need to come here. They said that would really just be too hard with all their gear, carseats, etc., me having to childproof for two 14-month-olds. Understandable.

 

So my question only refers to Saturday nights at their house (without my kids). Not doctor appts. during the day, or that kind of thing. Saturday nights, their house. Not my house. Thanks! Sorry I didn't make it more clear.

-----------------------------------------

 

My brother and his wife have 19-month old twins and he'll call me once in a while to babysit. Today he e-mailed to see if I could babysit Saturday night so they could go to a party (I already have plans so told him that). I feel kind of weird about this, but as my kids are the oldest in the family and I don't have experience with asking married (with kids) siblings to babysit for me Saturday night, I'm not sure if it is unusual or not.

 

When the babies were newborns I offered to babysit several times. I guess mainly because I wanted to help at that stressful time, spend time with the babies, and because I didn't think they'd be comfortable hiring babysitters for babies so young. But now it feels a bit odd to me. I know it's because they are short on money, and probably don't feel like a sitter is in the budget. Last fall my brother called me one Saturday morning saying his wife had strep throat and wondered if I could babysit for the day while he went to the football game! Ok, that seemed kind of crazy to me. Skip the game, dude. So I have that sort of history with him on my mind and so don't feel like I'm looking at this situation completely objectively. He also asked me to come watch the girls all day Saturday (after I'd done it Friday night) when my husband had taken my kids out of town for the weekend (YEAH!!!).

 

I am feeling a bit put upon by (pretty infrequent) requests now to babysit for his kids at his house (it wouldn't work to have them come here) on a Saturday night, but I'm not sure if I'm being a bit selfish and if many people do this for family. Do some of you occasionally babysit for siblings kids at their house on a Saturday night (no pay) or is this a somewhat out of the ordinary (presumptuous?) request?

 

I feel comfortable telling him soon that, NO - I have my own kids and will not likely ever be available on a Saturday night for him. But I guess if lots of people do babysit Saturday nights for family, maybe I should re-think things and try to help out family? I don't really have older family members or cousins with kids to know if this is done or not done! I don't really think he means to take advantage of me, because when the girls were little I offered to come over on Saturday nights if they wanted to go out. But I meant for the first 3 months, not the first 10 years!

 

Thanks for any insight into this.

 

Yes, absolutely! My siblings and I trade babysitting back and forth all the time. Non of us can afford to pay babysitters all the time- and honestly, we all feel that that's what family is for! :) We are all close, though, so maybe that changes things? I wouldn't even hesitate to do that for my brother so he and his wife could go out.

[SKL]

As for my house or their house - I have always babysat for babies/tots at their house. Seems easier all around. Now that I have kids of my own, I'd bring mine along (I'm single, and I'm obviously not going to hire a sitter so I can babysit.) That said, I haven't been asked since I've been a mom. I've been on standby, but my sister has a medically fragile baby, and my daycare-germ-ridden brats could expose her to something. Hopefully someday . . . .

 

My own kids have been watched outside my house (by family) only once, during the day. I really can't imagine that they would want me to drop my kids off and leave all the baby logistics up to them. Everything is set up here. Why, it took until my kids were about 3yo before I could trust them not to touch something they shouldn't touch at the grandparents' house. Watching two tots like a hawk for hours in a non-childproofed environment sounds intense.

[Starr]

Pack up a movie and take your family to their house. Enjoy the babes and watch a movie together once they are in bed.

[Mommyof4ks]

I do not have sibs with kids, but yes I would go there to babysit their kids if I was free that night. Dh, the kids, and myself would pile in the van and spend our Sat. over there playing with the kids. I do remember how hard it was to take my kids to a sitter's house when they were little with all their gear lol.

 

I am confused about the football game situation. When I have strep the day goes on as normal, and I deal with it, no sitters needed, but dh would stay home if need be.

[Leav97]

I would but, my older sister lives to far away and my younger sister has in-laws and parents that happily cover nights/weekends.

[Guest]

As for my house or their house - I have always babysat for babies/tots at their house. Seems easier all around. Now that I have kids of my own, I'd bring mine along (I'm single, and I'm obviously not going to hire a sitter so I can babysit.) That said, I haven't been asked since I've been a mom. I've been on standby, but my sister has a medically fragile baby, and my daycare-germ-ridden brats could expose her to something. Hopefully someday . . . .

 

My own kids have been watched outside my house (by family) only once, during the day. I really can't imagine that they would want me to drop my kids off and leave all the baby logistics up to them. Everything is set up here. Why, it took until my kids were about 3yo before I could trust them not to touch something they shouldn't touch at the grandparents' house. Watching two tots like a hawk for hours in a non-childproofed environment sounds intense.

 

Oh, that's nice of you to be on standby, and I completely agree that care should be taken to avoid exposing a medically fragile baby to germs. I just don't understand why your kids are brats.

[Aubrey]

ETA: I really appreciate all the replies, but most of them have included that they'd be glad to do it but the kids would come to their home. That is not an option and not what I'm asking. We don't have cribs, the girls wouldn't sleep here, our house is not childproofed, etc. and I am pretty sure they wouldn't like that option. This past summer they needed someone to watch the girls during the day (my SIL was sick) and I offered to do it two days/week, but said they'd need to come here. They said that would really just be too hard with all their gear, carseats, etc., me having to childproof for two 14-month-olds. Understandable.

 

So my question only refers to Saturday nights at their house (without my kids). Not doctor appts. during the day, or that kind of thing. Saturday nights, their house. Not my house. Thanks! Sorry I didn't make it more clear.

-----------------------------------------

 

I don't want to say I'd be glad to do it, because it depends on the kids & the situation. I do think it's normal & part of being a family.

 

As far as whose house...I'd generally prefer to do the sitting at my own house, & that would be a factor, but I've been really grateful, too, when my ils would sometimes sit at our house.

 

For a couple of hrs on a Sat night, I'd think 14mos should be ok at someone else's house, but I know that's not the question. Would I go to my sister's house to sit for her kids? Honestly...if I couldn't take mine w/ me, I wouldn't want to, but that speaks more (I think) to where I am in life than the overarching question you're asking.

 

Can you swap babysitting? Why can't your dc go w/ you? Is your bro's house comfortable for you? These are all factors imo.

 

So my answer to your specific question? It depends. :D

 

ETA: Our bro's don't have dc, & my sis hasn't lived w/in four hrs of me since having dc, so this is all theoretical, based more on grandparents watching dc than sibs.

[eternalknot]

Short answer: it's normal in my family. It's how my parents and their siblings did things, and also how myself and my own siblings do things. I have about a million aunts and uncles, and half-a-million siblings of my own; we spend a lot of time together, and it's not unusual for one or two siblings to offer to (or need to) stay home, watching everyone's kids. It usually ends up being the home of the youngest kids, because that's easier logistically. Nobody in my family uses a swing or crib, but the diapers, extra clothes, and baby toys are always a pain to haul around!

 

Long answer: keep reading. Maybe grab a coffee first, and put up your feet :tongue_smilie:.

 

I live with my kids plus three nephews; the youngest is 6, and the rest are all over 10. Our house is semi-babyproofed, but the older kids usually have "important" projects and whatnot scattered around (and Legos. Lots of Legos, sigh) so it's usually a bigger hassle to fully babyproof the house than it is to just babysit somewhere else.

 

I have one nephew who is 23 months, and another set of nephews who are 10 months and 30 months. It's always easier for me to just babysit them at their own homes (or each other's home LOL). It means I don't always get around to doing things at my own house, but ... eh. I like to watch the kids, and honestly sometimes it IS a break (for me) to watch someone else's kids and get away from my own house! Harder, but different, if that makes any sense. I'm very close to my neices and nephews; I'm not a "babysitter" so much as I'm an extention of their mom or dad -- and that affects how they behave for me, IMO. That probably makes it easier.

 

My family dynamic seems to be different than many people's here. I have keys to all of my siblings homes, and it's not unusual for me to ask Brother er A (of the 23m old) if I can come over and babysit Sister B's kids at his house. This is normal for us because it's a carryover of our experiences as children.

 

My brother often calls at the last minute looking for a babysitter, as in 2-3 hours before he's hoping to go out. If I can do it, I will, but if I can't because he didn't give enough notice ... I say so, without guilt. When he rolls the dice that way, sometimes he wins and sometimes he loses. I don't sweat it. He used to get annoyed, but ... he knows better than to bite the hand that feeds him, so he gets over it LOL. He's allowed to be annoyed with me, and I with him, without it hanging over our relationship; the love is always there, even when the "like" isn't!

 

I don't think any person needs to be a martyr to another. I wouldn't begrudge my brother a pre-planned gathering (football), and if I could help out with watching his kids while his wife was sick - I would. I, personally, would stay home with my kids if our roles were reversed, but he's not me and I don't hold that against him. Honestly, it'd probably be better for my SIL to get my brother/her husband out of the house for a few hours LOL.

 

I am feeling a bit put upon by (pretty infrequent) requests now to babysit for his kids at his house (it wouldn't work to have them come here) on a Saturday night, but I'm not sure if I'm being a bit selfish and if many people do this for family. Do some of you occasionally babysit for siblings kids at their house on a Saturday night (no pay) or is this a somewhat out of the ordinary (presumptuous?) request?

 

In my family, it's always assumed there is no pay involved. It's generally assumed that you will accommodate each other's requests to the best of your ability. It's assumed to be a two-way street, but there are always those who feel more free to ask more frequently :D it's no different than any other aspect of the sibling relationship, really.

 

That said, if one feels put upon that needs to be addressed. I imagine part of that is just a difference of priorities (e.g., football game with sick spouse) and ascribing yours to him. There's nothing he can do about that on his end. On your end, you can either accept him as he is (priorities, included!) or you can decide to make yourself available within certain parameters (x-times per month, x-day only, etc. -- and you can share these with him, or not, they're YOUR parameters) or you can open up the two-way street and ask him to babysit your kids, too. Even on Saturdays.

 

My son is sandwiched by live-in cousins 10 months older and 8 months younger than he is. It wasn't twins, but it was three kids superclose in age together, and it was super overwhelming. It was definitely more overwhelming from 2-4 than it is now that they're 10-12. The need can feel greater to get a few hours away, you know? Moreso now that they're mobile than it was when they were newborns.

 

The point of family is to be there for one another (IMO). Why not pool your resources together, and help each other out? If it's lopsided, fix that - if only so the feeling put upon doesn't turn into resentment that carries into and spoils the other aspects of your sibling relationship. Is there something you'd like to do, or dates you and your husband can take, that would allow your brother to return the babysitting favor?

[T'smom]

We live about an hour away from dh's fam, so we don't babysit each other's kids very often.....but certainly would more often if we were closer. To me, there isn't a difference between Sat. night and a weekday afternoon. Why is there a difference to you? I do everything I can to develop relationships with all my nieces and nephews and among all the cousins. The more time we spend together, the better! My family lives many, many hours away and I really, really wish I could babysit my sister's son on a regular basis.

 

I agree with previous posters that said take your family to their house. The VAST majority of family babysitting here is done at the sitter's house. But we all have pack-n-plays for naptime!

[learningmama]

I think you should ask him to watch your kids sometime. They would still probably need to be at their house (I do understand that part.). But I think their answer and reluctance/enthusiasm would help you decide what to do in the future.

.

 

:iagree: You should be able to go out sometime too! I totally get your comment about offeriong to help for the first few months, not the first 10 years! Occasional helping is very good, but if they start to take advantage of it and/or you never get your kids watched, then I think the line has been crossed.

[chepyl]

I guess I should at least ask them next time if they want to bring them here. I am not that worried about childproofing, but it does mean a lot more work here than over there (my boys have 8 million tiny lego pieces all over the place!). They say the girls won't sleep here when I suggested it for daytime, and they were definitely right! I spent an hour trying to get them to sleep (we don't have cribs so they slept on cots), and they cried and cried because they were so tired! But I suppose we should give it a whirl at night - maybe it would be different.

 

I'm just anticipating that they'll say they'd rather not (which I do understand, having to get the kids up and all), so that's why I asked if it's out of the ordinary for people to babysit AT their siblings home Saturday nights. Yes, it would be inconvenient for me, but I also just want to do the right thing. I have no experience with family babysitting, so don't really know where (or if) the line is drawn in cases like this. I do want to help out, and know it won't always be convenient for me. But if that is what families do, that's fine. I don't have any framework for this and haven't heard of any of my friends going to siblings houses without their kids on a Saturday night to babysit.

 

I would try it again at your house. If they have never slept somewhere else, it will take some training. And for their parents sanity, they need to be able to sleep elsewhere. Otherwise, say yes, but ypur kids are coming to and DH if he wants. You should not have to give up your family time to babysit.

 

Ask him to watch your kids sometime. If you have never asked, you don't know what he will say.

 

We babysit on Sat nights. We trade out. They generally come to us, or we take the kids to them. I do disagree that if you can't afford a babysitter you should not go out. Every couple needs time alone regardless of financial situation. Dinner and a movie can be cheap if you do a dollar movie, we can do that for less than $30, add a sitter and the night totals closer to $60. If you have family willing to help each other out...why not?

[SKL]

...I just don't understand why your kids are brats.

 

Oh, that's just family jargon. Is that term considered offensive here?

[----]

.

[Tap]

My family isn't close by so a random Saturday has never came up.

 

I have traveled 90minutes each way to pick up my niece, and watched her for weekends and even weeks at a time when she was a baby to help my sister. She had another child who required extensive medical care.

 

I have kept a 3 week old nephew for a week, when an emergency overnight trip turned into a week for my brother.

 

I have watched a friends daughter for random days, when things came up with daycare and I was home for the day. ( I work outside the home also, so this would be on my day off from work).

 

DD5, is my great-neice that we have raised since she was 5mo.

 

 

So, while I don't exactly fit the situation exactly......I think I would help out if given the chance to.

 

Why not try to build bridges between your families, instead of walls. If you are not available....say so. But, if you are, and can help out.....why not? You never know if you will need a favor from them someday!

[georgialee]

If my sister was old enough to have kids and she infrequently asked me to watch the kids on Saturday nights, I would have DH watch my kids and go watch hers. Anything to help her out and to let her have a date night.

 

Now, if she was the type that asked for me to sit all the time, I'd probably think twice.

 

Hope that helps :)

[Lisa in the UP of MI]

I watch my 2yo niece occasionally at my house during the day when my BIL and SIL have appointments on their days off, but other than an emergency or something really special it wouldn't work for us to go to their house. We have our own young kids to care for and we need to be at our home with them, especially in the evening. If our kids were older and more independent, it *might* work for one of us to stay home with our kids and one of us to take care of nieces/nephews, but we wouldn't do it very often. We want to be home together as a family. On the rare occasion that dh and I go out together, it is almost always during the daytime, when things are less hectic and it is easier to have someone else watch the kids.

[happyhomemaker]

I have 2 sisters with kids and I babysit on occasion. They do the same for me (my sister is actually watching the kids tomorrow). As for where I watch them, I have older kids at my house (out of a crib) and I go to my sister's house if there is a baby who will need to be put to sleep. I grew up being babysat by aunts and older cousins so this kind of thing seems fairly normal to me.

 

I think you should ask your brother to sit for you. I know it wouldn't occur to my brother to ask me if I need him to watch the kids (like it would with my sisters), but if I ask, he would be happy to oblige. He probably just thinks you will ask them when you need them to sit. If you ask and it seems like he wants the babysitting to be all one-sided, then I would start helping out a little less.

 

As for asking you to come over when his wife is sick, that is out of line. I love my family but there is no way I am watching a child who most likely has been exposed to strep and then bring that back home to my family. Nope, not gonna do it.

 

Dont feel bad for saying no sometimes. Asking you to babysit multiple times in a weekend is a little excessive. Just say no to that one. I don't feel bad saying no if I can't do it. It's something I am happy to do for my siblings, but it's not an obligation and my schedule doesn't revolve around it.

 

One last thing: when you do go over to babysit, is your family welcome to come? I don't always bring my kids and dh with me, but sometimes it is nice for us to spend time together once we get the littles settled.

[In2why]

My brothers and I are really close, and so are our kids. When I first read this my first thought is that I would have child proofed part my house when they were born so that they could come and hang out with and without their parents. My brother's baby is less than a year old, and I block off the hallway so that she can only crawl in the family room and kitchen. I pick up the dog's dishes, sweep and vaccum and pull out a few pans and a wooden spoon. As for sleeping a pallet of blankets on the floor and some cousins to cuddle with while they watch TV should do the trick.

 

 

So that would be my solution. "I would be happy to watch the twins, and I am really excited because I set things up so they can hang out here. When are you bringing them?"

[In2why]

If you don't want to set up your house, or they don't want to bring the kids to you, then no I wouldn't babysit or feel bad about it, my life is too busy for me to go there, unless it was a real emergency like a middle of the night medical situation. That way the ball is in their court.

[Rosy]

I didn't read the whole thread, but I would be over the moon at the opportunity to babysit my nephew at his house. I would limit it if I felt like I was being taken advantage of. If I had the option, I would always ask family before a paid sitter--not because of the money, but just to provide an opportunity for family bonding. I wouldn't do it every Saturday night, but I would do it if I could without hesitating, and my sister would be the first person I asked if she lived in town.

 

If the kids were out of the needing-a-ton-of-gear phase, I probably would ask them to come to my house and have a sleepover. It is hard to babysit at someone else's house. I'd do it for my sister if I could, though.

[2_girls_mommy]

I would do it (have done it) and would ask my sisters to do it. My sisters ask my mom to do it, and usually at their house if it is a baby, but the 2 yr old can now stay the night with my mom now that she is almost 3 and pottytrained.

 

In my personal case, if I had to go to their house, I would take my kids with me. They would love to spend time with the toddlers. We could take movies and make a night of it. At home, we would all be doing our own thing. This would actually be a night out for us to play games and watch movies after the kiddos were in bed.

 

It especially wouldn't bother me as you said it is infrequent. I don't charge my sister $ to keep her kids, and I never did . She doesn't charge me. We aren't babysitters, we are family. I do however pay my teenage nieces. It is work for them when they watch my kiddos.

[AdventureMoms]

I don't live close to my siblings, but when we've travelled my SIL has taken my then-toddler daughter so we could have a date night. I do consider babysitting a pretty typical thing to do for family, but I wouldn't have any problem with someone saying no if they couldn't or didn't want to. My mom lives about 5 hours away but often babysits our three when she visits us so she can get out for a night.

 

I have 13mo twins, and I promise it is almost certainly more convenient for the sitter to come here than to try to host them elsewhere. Most people don't have two highchairs or two cribs, and lots of people aren't baby proofed, and that makes it REALLY HARD to deal with them. With my oldest we went everywhere and just kept an eye on her, but you can't keep an eye on both boys at the same time, and if you chase after the one who is scaling the bookcase, the other one will run the other way and knock over your end table. So you have to be babyproofed. With my singleton we could just sit her in a lap and feed her, but that doesn't work with the twins (and they have a fit if one gets fed without the other). My singleton could just sleep in my lap or on a spare bed or couch or whatever, but the twins will crawl over all obstacles to get to each other, then start ripping each others' hair out instead of going to sleep.

 

Twins, IME, are about 1000x harder to transport than a singleton. Managing young twins is just much easier with certain extra equipment.

 

However, to the OP, I'm guessing that in the next couple of years it's going to be a lot easier for you to babysit them at your house. They'll be more able to stay up late (or sleep in a spare bed), sit in a chair, know not to eat the electrical cords, etc. It will also become easier for your brother to hire a sitter at that point (I have a HARD time finding paid sitters who can handle my trio. Which means we depend on the kindness of family or we don't go out. Ever.)

[dsmith]

I used to go to my brother's house to babysit his kids, but I was a teenager and was paid for it. My sister has stayed at my house to watch my son, but she brings her daughter so they can play, and we have more fun stuff here.:001_smile: I have never babysat for her at her house, only at my house, but her daughter prefers to come here. If it was an occasional thing it wouldn't bother me, but if it was frequent I would start to feel taken advantage of. I would have said no for the strep throat/game thing out of spite. I don't get to lay about in bed all day when I'm sick. :glare: In general, I think family should help family if possible, but it should go both ways.

[higginszoo]

My s-i-l's girls don't sleep well anywhere but in their own beds (especially the 4 year old), so while I have a portable crib and a mattress that could be made into a pallet, I'd be willing to go to their tiny apartment, but I would be bringing all or some of my own dc, and probably a video for them once their cousins went to bed. Really, though, it's a moot point, as they're in Chicago and we're in Austin. There's also the concern of the busy 15 mo old who is in to everything.

 

My other niece (brother's dd) is more flexible, and I'd probably bed her down at my house. She's also at a point where she is better about not putting things in her mouth, etc. anymore (she's 2). But they're at least as far away, so it doesn't come up.

[Rosy]

I'm not exactly feeling resentful, just maybe...unsure! He never offers to watch my kids (as my friends do if they ever ask me to watch their kids). And I kind of don't think he would (or it would be pretty reluctantly) if I asked, though I never have asked since he's been married. As I said, he's asked me at some rather odd times in the past (his wife is sick and he wants to go to a football game), twice in one weekend when my husband had taken the kids out of town so I could have a break. So that is where I'm not sure what is really expected in most cases of family.

 

And this is at their house on a Saturday night, not mine. That's a completely different situation than having them come to my house. I see lots of people responding that it would be no problem, but the kids would come to their house. But that is not what they are asking or what they want. And it really wouldn't work anyway as we don't have cribs and they wouldn't go to bed. Our house is not at all childproofed for little ones, and I know they'd worry about that, too.

 

Ok, now that I've read a little more...the football thing doesn't seem that weird to me, esp if he bought the tickets in advance. There is no way I'd give up time with no kids to watch someone else's kids.

 

I wouldn't mind going to their house for the occasional party. If it was becoming too frequent, I'd probably ask them to make their plans earlier in the evening so the kids could come to my house and then go home at bedtime. Also, I think you should make yourself ask him to reciprocate, whether you "need" him to or not. It's important for relationships to be mutual whenever possible.

[Grover]

As a now and again thing I wouldn't have a problem. I'd be happy to look after my niece from time to time, but my mother doesn't allow my sister to ask <insert eye roll>

[Guest]

Oh, that's just family jargon. Is that term considered offensive here?

 

No, I was just wondering if someone was making you feel like they thought they were brats. :tongue_smilie: Did that even make sense?

[DawnM]

Can you take your children over there?

 

If I had to leave MY family to go over to their house to watch their kids, I would not do it.

 

For a football game because mom is sick, I would not do it.

 

However, if they were to come to my house (can you yard sale to find necessary pack n plays you can put up when finished?) I might consider if it is necessary or I wanted to offer to give them a break.

 

They are taking advantage of you.

 

I would suddenly have PLANS when called upon "just because."

 

Dawn

[Harriet Vane]

I guess I don't see what is presumptuous about this? The requests are infrequent, right?

 

If I were available, I'd do it. I might bring along my kids, or not, depending on whether or not they were available.

 

I have done this, btw, for a relative of mine, very frequently. That situation is slightly different, though, because he is a single father, and the kids really need the family who loves them to be there.

[Mommyfaithe]

My brother doesn't have kids, but I have no problem at all babysitting my sil's kids. I actually love to spend time with my nieces and now nephews( nieces are all grown up.). It gave me a chance to get to know them...and they love me the best!

 

Faithe

[Hikin' Mama]

so, yes, if he had kids, I would definitely do that. And since they are so young, I would go over to his house. It would be easier that way. I'd probably also take my kids, so we could all enjoy the fun. My brother has been an awesome uncle and has done some pretty cool stuff with and for my kids.