S/O: Paying for college for our kids- POLL

[DawnM]

I would like to see a more clear picture of what people intend to help pay for their kids.

 

While the other thread/poll is interesting, I really didn't get an idea of who is paying for what other than an all or nothing approach.

 

So, new poll if you don't mind too much.

[DawnM]

I voted "as much as we can" but realistically we can cover the local 4 year college if they live at home. Anything beyond that and they will have to cover the difference.

 

Dawn

[twoforjoy]

I said both "other" and "yes, as much as we can."

 

We both work at a university. If we are working at this or another university when our kids are old enough for college, and they can go for free or for very reduced tuition, then that's what we'll pay for. Unless we happen to come into lots of money, which is unlikely, or our kids have a really, really pressing reason to go somewhere else, we won't be paying for them to go college when they could go for free or very little at the school where we work. If they insisted on going somewhere else, we'd help (we'd kick in at least what we'd have to kick in for then to go where we work), but it's not likely we could cover it all.

 

O/T, but we've been watching The Cosby Show, and on one of the first season episodes (back in 1984), Cliff is talking about his daughter who is at Princeton, and is apparently paying a little more than $10K/year for her to go there. To Princeton. I have no idea what it costs today, but I'm assuming it's way more than that. It's really shocking how much faster college costs have risen compared to wages in the last 25 years. (We also learned that, in 1984, apartments in Manhattan went for about $400/month. I'm pretty sure it's more like $4000/month today. DH and I can't help but feel like we were born at the wrong time. ;))

[DawnM]

Where did you learn that apt in Manhattan were that low in '84? I am not arguing at all. I just would have thought they would have been at least over $1,000.

 

Are you both professors or what capacity do you work in the Univ?

 

Dawn

 

I said both "other" and "yes, as much as we can."

 

We both work at a university. If we are working at this or another university when our kids are old enough for college, and they can go for free or for very reduced tuition, then that's what we'll pay for. Unless we happen to come into lots of money, which is unlikely, or our kids have a really, really pressing reason to go somewhere else, we won't be paying for them to go college when they could go for free or very little at the school where we work. If they insisted on going somewhere else, we'd help (we'd kick in at least what we'd have to kick in for then to go where we work), but it's not likely we could cover it all.

 

O/T, but we've been watching The Cosby Show, and on one of the first season episodes (back in 1984), Cliff is talking about his daughter who is at Princeton, and is apparently paying a little more than $10K/year for her to go there. To Princeton. I have no idea what it costs today, but I'm assuming it's way more than that. It's really shocking how much faster college costs have risen compared to wages in the last 25 years. (We also learned that, in 1984, apartments in Manhattan went for about $400/month. I'm pretty sure it's more like $4000/month today. DH and I can't help but feel like we were born at the wrong time. ;))

[Cricket]

Currently dh and I are unable to put any money towards college savings. It is all we can do to pay our monthly bills and feed the family. When the kids are college age we will help all we can but they better intend on working. I'm hoping for the first year or two they go to a community college and then if they want they can transfer to a big name school. Our oldest would love to get a scholarship for baseball and his pitching coach has been able to secure scholarships for almost all of his clients. I graduated in 1995 and I'm still paying off my student loans. I don't want my kids to have to borrow money.

[Dolphin]

We are planning on our kids getting loans, and then helping them with the payments on those. (I hope they get some grants and scholarships too)

[Laura Corin]

However, if they go to university in Scotland they won't pay tuition fees (under the current scheme) so that same pot of money will go towards living expenses.

 

Laura

[Mom in High Heels]

We're in a different situation. We started a college fund for Indy back when he was a baby that now has several thousand dollars in it and my parents each buy him a $100 savings bond every month to be used for college, but the biggest thing we have is that James Bond can now sign over all or part of his GI Bill to the kids. James Bond has never used any of his GI Bill, so the amount is pretty high. Before Han Solo came along, it was all going to Indy, but now we will be splitting it between the boys 50/50. It also comes with a small monthly living stipend and a book allowance. Anything all that doesn't cover, we will likely cover. I graduated with a bucket load of student loans (and I had some scholarships and did work-study) that took me years to pay off. I'd rather they not start their adult life off in the hole. If for some reason we can't afford it, they will have to get loans, but I'm hoping they don't.

We will provide a car, but probably not a new one. Likely we'll pass down either my or JB's car at the time and then buy us a new one.

[mommaduck]

I put room and board, but I'm not sure that is even accurate as we've told them they would have to contribute towards the house in some manner after highschool, if they stayed for college (still cheaper than being on their own).

[Crimson Wife]

We have some saved already. How far that would go depends on the specific school attended. We're within commuting distance of some good universities (UC Berkeley, UC Davis, and Stanford). My parents live within commuting distance of the Boston area schools and would probably allow one child to stay in their guest bedroom with just paying the added cost in utilities & food (they did that for us when DH was in grad school).

[Momof3littles]

We will contribute what we can. We will have an honest and open discussion about the various options on the table at that point. For example, if DC want to attend more expensive schools, we will spell out what taking on additional loans will mean for them for the long haul. We will openly discuss how realistic it is to take on extensive loans for certain (non high paying) professions.

[kewb]

It's really shocking how much faster college costs have risen compared to wages in the last 25 years. (We also learned that, in 1984, apartments in Manhattan went for about $400/month. I'm pretty sure it's more like $4000/month today. DH and I can't help but feel like we were born at the wrong time. ;))

 

 

I went to college in the city from 1984-1988. I can tell you that if rents were only $400 a month I would not have been living at home.

[chepyl]

My oldest is only in first grade, so we have a while. I would like to pay for anything not covered by scholarships and grants. If we had a kid in college right now, we would not be paying anything....

 

I would want them to have at least a small part time job to help with some of their basic expenses, but I also don't want them stressed about bills when they should be studying...KWIM?

[higginszoo]

We'll cover as much as we can, but will also expect them get scholarships. They'll probably have to work, too.

 

Living at home is probably not realistic for the majors that they are going toward right now. They can get part done at the local community college (hopefully while in high school), but after that, admissions rules will work against them because they're homeschooled at the main local state school (the big one, since we're in the capital), and it's not necessarily the best school in the state for the majors they're likely to go for.

[FaithManor]

Okay, we intend to help as much as possible and since we don't have foresight as to the economy, state of savings, or anything else given the current state of the economic pit that is called Michigan, we can't say for certain what that will be.

 

For dd, we have paid about $15,000.00 of costs that her scholarships didn't cover and now that well has run dry since we lost a HUGE portion of her college money when we had to cash out her 529 plan to pay for school during the year of the infamous "housing crisis" crash. We could have opted not to cash out the whole thing, but at the time the economists said this was going to last a long time and the kinds of things we were invested in were going to continue to lose money or hold steady but not earn anything. The college offered us, probably out of pity, a 20% discount for paying cash ahead on the following years' expenses. So, that's what we did. At the end of this semester, she will have to take a break or get student loans as we'll only be able to contribute books, fees, and gas money...she's commuting currently. They wouldn't be big student loans because she has a lot of scholarship money, but still, loans and she's decided she'd prefer not to have them if possible. She's going to work as a paramedic for two years and then go back and finish. She is an excellent saver.

 

Ds, well, we will be in a better position to do more and yet still not be writing huge checks. We will become debt free right before he graduates from homeschool so I think dh is pledging something like $6500.00 per year to him and hoping that by the time the last boy matriculates (first ds will be a college senior, second ds a junior), his income will be high enough to somehow manage this for all three of them at once...excuse me while I barf in nervousness!!!!:001_huh:

 

We have friends who invested in specific college plans. Their children's college educations were paid for long before they got to high school because their parents made payments directly to a state school through some program that guaranteed tuition at the rate at the time that the parent signed the deal. So, their oldest's tuition and fees are the same as this college's rates 11 years ago. Room and board rates were not guaranteed though. Of course the downside is that it isn't refundable. Their child had to meet the minimum to get into that school and has no choice of attending anywhere else unless he pays it all himself, but his parents would likely kill him because they can't get the money back.:tongue_smilie: It's not a risky plan I would have ever considered, but that's what they did.

 

We require the kids to work hard for decent ACT scores (not expecting them to get 34-36...not that kind of pressure but we do like to see 28 or higher and will pay for them to take it more than once plus prep books, etc.), maintan a minimum 3.25 in college, they have to authorize the college to send a copy of grades directly to us or NO CHECK, and no disciplinary proceedings, and they have to major in something at least somewhat useful. Though in a perfect world it would be wonderful to pay for a major in Medieval Poetry with a minor in Interpretive Yoga, the reality is we expect them to some day be independent of us and that combo just doesn't seem to have a lot of potential for career path. Also, if one wants to go to the University of Hawaii...mom and dad living in Michigan, one cannot expect to be flown home for every college break. We'll see you in four years!!!

 

Clear as mud????

 

Faith

[melissel]

Where did you learn that apt in Manhattan were that low in '84? I am not arguing at all. I just would have thought they would have been at least over $1,000.

 

Are you both professors or what capacity do you work in the Univ?

 

Dawn

 

I'm sure there were parts of the city where rents were only $400 in 1984. At that time, the East Village, the East Side above 96th street, and the Lower East Side come to mind. When I met DH in 1996, his mom was only paying something like $800 a month for rent in Washington Heights, and that was during the height of the boom. When I lived there in the late 90s, my rent on a teeny 1BR on the UES was around $925.

 

He might also have been talking about an apartment in Brooklyn (if the Cosby Show is the source of this info).

 

As for college, I voted that we'll cover what we're able to for both girls. How much that will be? I have no idea! Right now, the 529 that we have is doing as well as if I'd just put that money in my sock drawer for the past 8 years. I'm so upset about that. If we're able to provide more than the $47 left in the 529 account by the time the girls are ready for college, then we will. If we can't, we'll all have some tough decisions to make. There will also be enforced college saving as well. All my parents ever did for me was to say things like, "Shouldn't you be saving some of that money for college?" Really not helpful, considering I'd worked since I was 14 and had nothing at all to show for it when college started!

Edited September 19, 2011 by melissel

[DawnM]

I don't know much at all about areas of NYC.

 

I do know that when I graduated from college in 1988 in Seattle, I was shocked to find apartments for somewhat lower end apartments, were around $400. Then I moved to Los Angeles and those $400 apartments seemed quite reasonable! :tongue_smilie:

 

So, it would greatly surprise me if NYC had those prices.

 

Dawn

 

I'm sure there were parts of the city where rents were only $400 in 1984. At that time, the East Village, the East Side above 96th street, and the Lower East Side come to mind. When I met DH in 1996, his mom was only paying something like $800 a month for rent in Washington Heights, and that was during the height of the boom. When I lived there in the late 90s, my rent on a teeny 1BR on the UES was around $925.

 

He might also have been talking about an apartment in Brooklyn (if the Cosby Show is the source of this info).

[Momof3littles]

Has anyone compared the cost of their own college education with the current costs lately?

 

I have followed the stories about the sharp rise in tuition, but I was shocked when I checked my alma mater.

 

I graduated (undergrad) in 2000, and my tuition plus room and board was about 25K/yr. I had scholarships that covered part of that, my parents paid most of it, and I took out some loans for about 25K (but I was in a 5 year combined bachelor's/master's program, so that included my graduate degree)

 

My alma mater with room and board is now 42K/yr. Totally unattainable without massive loans IMO. This was a private university, and I realize there are less expensive options. I still find it shocking, as I graduated undergrad 11 years ago (10 years since my master's graduation).

 

My parents paid a huge amount toward my tuition on my dad's union/blue collar salary. They were very frugal, but paying that today, as a one-income family...there is no way we could do it.

[jdarling]

We are pay for our daughter tuitituon. She has to buy all her own books and any other extra costs.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Dh's goal is to be able to cover half of what they need towards tuition, room, board, books, fees, etc. I suppose we would help with a car or other big expense if it was necessary to the schooling process.

[melissel]

I don't know much at all about areas of NYC.

 

I do know that when I graduated from college in 1988 in Seattle, I was shocked to find apartments for somewhat lower end apartments, were around $400. Then I moved to Los Angeles and those $400 apartments seemed quite reasonable! :tongue_smilie:

 

So, it would greatly surprise me if NYC had those prices.

 

Dawn

 

I'm reasonably sure there were parts of Manhattan where apartments could be found that cheaply. You wouldn't want to live there, though, most likely! There was no real renaissance happening yet in NYC at that point--it was still the kind of city where you wore your purse inside your coat and avoided the subway if you possibly could. Also, rent control was MUCH more prominent. Now, even the "bad" areas are pretty good and relatively safe--and priced accordingly. And rent control is all but done away with.

[Puma Mom]

Other.

 

We pay half of our kids' college costs. Scholarships that they get are applied to their half. Ds21 paid all of his freshman year half, but now he's behind a bit. The reality is that we are essentially allowing them to take out loans from us when they can not pay their half, when we think it is in their best interest to continue with school vs. taking time off to work. Last fall, ds21 took a semester off to work, so that happens sometimes too.

 

We are fortunate to have the funds to do this. If we didn't, they would be working their way through school. As it is, we feel like this is a good balance, especially considering how fortunate dh and I were to come out of college with very little ($2500 between the two of us) debt. The boys are going to the same school we did, so it's not even like they picked expensive schools. Out of state tuition has been tough, but that will remedy itself in May since we moved to VA last spring.

 

By the time dd is in college, the boys will have repaid or will be repaying us, so we'll be sitting pretty then!

[Running the race]

My husband teaches at a university. Most of my kids should qualify for free tuition. We will be able to help a little toward college expenses, but they will be expected to find a way to use the free tuition (either there or through a tuition exchange program).

[Ali in OR]

Our parents paid for our college education (well, I paid for the 5th year for my masters), and we intend to do the same for our kids. I should say that we intend for them to get a bachelor's degree from a decent university with no student loans. We do hope they will get some scholarship money, especially if they are interested in private schools. Hopefully we will be able to cover tuition and room and board. They can cover books and any other living expenses from summer earnings or a part-time job while schooling. I hashed and did some paper grading--it was easy to keep up with my own studies with little jobs like these. We want to give our kids the best start possible in life, and I'm pretty convinced that means a college degree and no massive student loan debt. Our public universities are still reasonably priced (I was shocked that CA's are so high now), so I would think we would be able to at least do that.

[Ria]

We have put money aside for each of our six children; that said, at $50K per year for private schools (ds 17's schools of choice) we will not have anywhere near enough for each child. So, we have money saved for each child.

 

It's up to each of our kids how to handle the cost of school (we are actively involved in helping them figure this out). They could go to a state school and have fewer loans. They can excel academically in high school and apply for scholarships and grants (dd had a full-tuition scholarship). They can enter the service (another ds), they can take out loans...there are many options.

 

We do what we can, but the kids know that we can't cover the full cost for each one of them.

[lisamarie]

I voted "as much as we can" but realistically we can cover the local 4 year college if they live at home. Anything beyond that and they will have to cover the difference.

 

Dawn

 

:iagree: Our plan is to cover all college, books, room and board with R&B being at home or else in a situation we are happy with. And it will have strings attached--I honestly would have a very hard time paying for a degree that was useless for getting a job. It would only apply to 3 specific state colleges unless those schools didn't offer their program. And if they were blowing their college days on partying vs doing school, the funding would be cut off. I'm not paying for my kids to flunk classes because they were too busy partying. I would hope that my kids wouldn't do that, but I've known way too many kids who have to not be realistic about it.

[Ria]

And it will have strings attached--I honestly would have a very hard time paying for a degree that was useless for getting a job.

 

Yep. We have this understanding with our children as well. Want to be a dance or music major? You pay. Want to major in something that gives you a decent chance of employment? We'll help pay.

[Laura Corin]

Yep. We have this understanding with our children as well. Want to be a dance or music major? You pay. Want to major in something that gives you a decent chance of employment? We'll help pay.

 

The money is in a college savings plan - it can't be used for anything else. If that's what they want to study, then that's their choice. We'll advise but not veto.

 

Laura

[Laura Corin]

Has anyone compared the cost of their own college education with the current costs lately?

 

My fees were paid by the government. I also received a free grant (no repayments) which supported me at a very basic level during term time.

 

The highest tuition at universities here for Calvin is likely to be 9,000 pounds a year for three years in England. Currently Scotland has no tuition fees for residents, but I can't see that lasting. There is no longer a living expense grant for most people.

 

Laura

[Pretty in Pink]

I just voted 'other'.

 

I said in the other thread that we would provide room and board if they choose to attend a local school. I am sure that we'll help them with miscellaneous expenses, if necessary, though we do expect them to work part-time to help offset the cost of schooling. We also expect them to utilize grants/scholarships to fund most of their schooling.

 

We will buy them each a reliable vehicle when they are of driving age. If they want to purchase those vehicles from us when they move out then they may; if not, we will pass the vehicle along to the next child. They are welcome to use the vehicle as long as they live with us and cover their own insurance/gas. We will cover maintenance.

 

My dh will use up most, if not all, of his military GI Bill, so we won't be able to pass that along to the boys. If there happens to be a little bit left over and I have not finished school yet then he'll assign the remaining benefits to me.

[Laura Corin]

We will do what we can. At this point money is going towards our retirement before anything else. I think it would be worse to be a financial burden to our children than not be able to contribute much towards their education.

 

We have money in the bank that we could use to pay all the costs of their education, however having enough not to be a burden to them in our old age is our priority.

 

Laura

[ChemMommy]

We work at a college so we get 90% off the tuition, but no R&B. We were honest with the kids. They can live at home and have cheap tuition and that's the option. We'll cover the tuition, they cover the books and any associated expenses.

 

Going elsewhere and getting a pile of debt just isn't an option for them or us!! College is still a good investment, but acquiring a huge debt load to get that degree isn't a super smart idea, IMHO!

[QuirkyKapers]

We will cover tuition. We want them to help pay for the other stuff. However, we will see what acutally happens when that time comes. I know we want them to have some responsibility in regards to paying.

[creekland]

I voted that we'll help the best that we can and that's what we're doing. Right now, it isn't much due to our personal economy. We bought oldest's books and that's it for this semester. Last year we helped a bit more.

 

The best thing I did (in hindsight) was an education that assisted them in testing high on the ACT. It brought in nice merit aid for oldest and should bring in excellent merit aid for middle son. We'll have to see how youngest does when the time comes. We'll have an inkling after he takes the PSAT this Oct (get results in Dec).

 

The merit aid coupled with some need based aid has helped oldest go to his first choice school with adding summer employment and work study.

 

Middle might get by on merit aid alone by choosing the "right" college. If not merit aid alone, it'll at least be significant. We're dropping "no-merit aid" schools from his list as I don't want our finances to change and end up having to pay a ton when need based aid disappears. I am hopeful our economy will change!

 

And I'm already scouting for youngest...

 

So, we're helping as we can, but part of that is seeing to it that they have a good education overall as well as aimed at those all important test scores. Then it's helping them find the right colleges for them considering the finances and what they want to do.

[mommymilkies]

Yes-with conditions. Dh's work covers the first two years here. Then if they have a good plan and keep up good grades, we will pay for the rest, within reason.

[Chris in VA]

We pay 3/4 of all college expenses. Ds works in the summer and during winter break to make the approximately 4K he needs. We count his scholarship $ as part of his contribution (he got 1K last year and 1200 this year from our church's national women's group). We may cut him a small break next year and the year after, b/c he has to spend 2 summers in a film production program and won't have as much time to work.

 

Hopefully, dd will get more scholarships. Ds had an abysmal SAT, unfortunately.

[JennifersLost]

We will pay half the cost up to $20,000. After that they are on their own. They can live at home as long as they need to (they can easily do two years at the CC here and two years at the nearest provincial University and the total cost for four years will be $40,000.

 

We are helping them translate good grades into scholarships. Our hope is for all our kids to graduate debt-free. We will encourage them to work and save and not necessarily do all four years in a row. In other words, if they need to take a year off and live at home and work, that's fine.

 

We also charge rent to anyone over 18 not enrolled full time in school. We start at $500 per month for a kid taking no classes and deduct a hundred for each class they take. If they take five classes, they get free room and board and keep anything they earn working part time.

[nono]

Dawn,

 

I can't answer. We save every pay period (heck, even every non-pay period now that my dh is unemployed) for our kids' future. That money they will direct.

 

For us to kick in more, yeah, we'll have a say. So, we're kind of a hybrid model.

[YLVD]

I will be paying as much as I can.

 

I put myself through university as a single mom. It was rough.

 

Because I can't work full time right now and my DD is nearing college age, I will have to rely a lot on grants and such but will cover as much of the rest as possible.

 

I would never in a million years choose her course of study. It is her life and her education. The only conditions are that she work hard and do the best she can.

 

I will encourage two years at CC first. Now, my DD has an LD that will make standard university difficult. If she chooses to go that route, CC would be necessary either way.

[melissel]

Dawn,

 

I can't answer. We save every pay period (heck, even every non-pay period now that my dh is unemployed) for our kids' future. That money they will direct.

 

For us to kick in more, yeah, we'll have a say. So, we're kind of a hybrid model.

 

Perhaps a FlexSchuel model :D :tongue_smilie:

[DawnM]

I am trying right now to get my child with some LD "labeled" so that he can get the help he needs in college.

 

Dawn

 

I will be paying as much as I can.

 

I put myself through university as a single mom. It was rough.

 

Because I can't work full time right now and my DD is nearing college age, I will have to rely a lot on grants and such but will cover as much of the rest as possible.

 

I would never in a million years choose her course of study. It is her life and her education. The only conditions are that she work hard and do the best she can.

 

I will encourage two years at CC first. Now, my DD has an LD that will make standard university difficult. If she chooses to go that route, CC would be necessary either way.

[LucyStoner]

I voted with conditions. The conditions will be that they have to do meaningful volunteer or research work and also make some sort of financial contribution of their own- summer savings, work-study or something like that. I worked like a dog to pay for college and while I think that has it's benefits, I want them to have time to do more interesting work that will expand their opportunities during and post college (vs. what I did which was work the highest paying yet dullest jobs I could find and work pretty much full-time, sometimes more)

[Melissa in Australia]

We have paid tuition and books for the 4 units that DS17 is doing this year. Next year he will have to leave home and shift to Melbourne to attend uni for his engineering degree. He will basically be on his own , and have to get a student loan for tuition, and a job to pay for board and books.

[kalanamak]

I picked "other". Because we are older parents, and kiddo has only rather distant half-sibs, I felt I needed to put something aside. When my mother died I took the money her mother left her when she died (so it has grown tax free since 1963), and put half of it in a fund that kiddo can direct (which will pay tuition), and half I can direct. With a bit of luck and some decent, frugal choices, he will have enough for college without having to work except summers. I feel that my son's great grandmother is paying for his college. I think she'd be pleased. She was a fan of eugenics and phrenology, and I think kiddo's physique and the shape of his head would please her. :001_smile:

 

So, there are SOME strings on some of it, and some has to do with how we do financially, as well as the investments. Clear as mud, I know.

[SKL]

I said "I don't know." My kids are 4 and I have some cash at this moment, saved from when I was a childless high-power professional. As a single 45yo mom, I can't really say where I'll be financially when the kids finish high school.

 

Besides that, I feel I benefited from having to pay my own way. In my case, it was because my parents could not afford to pay for any higher education. They helped me to learn about financial aid and that took care of my costs, but I had to bust my butt to pay the loans off after graduation - which was very stressful at times, but all in all a good thing.

 

I don't know if my kids will qualify for enough financial aid to get through college. I don't know if they will have job opportunities to bridge the gaps. I don't know what college will cost. So I really can't say what I'll do at this point. But I really want them to have to take some responsibility for their educational costs. The more the better, so long as it doesn't prevent them from attending.

[YLVD]

I am trying right now to get my child with some LD "labeled" so that he can get the help he needs in college.

 

Dawn

 

Good luck! My DD does have the label, she's actually back at high school right now but it's one geared towards kids with learning differences.

[Rosie_0801]

Our student loan system is far friendlier than the system in the US, so our kids can use that if they haven't saved enough to pay upfront. Who is to say we'll have even finished paying off ours by then? :rolleyes:

 

If they stay home, we won't charge rent, but will probably expect them to buy their own food. Separate food reduces arguments, in my experience! If they move out, they are responsible for the lot. If we have the money to spare, we'd probably contribute to costs surrounding the health of themselves and their vehicles. Things like chiropractic visits and car maintenance tend not to make it into a uni student's budget.

 

Rosie