If you are prospering financially, to what do you attribute this?

[Lisa R.]

I heard (was it Dave Ramsey?) that the five friends closest to you have an income relatively close to yours. (Someone correct me if I've misquoted this.)

 

While exceptions abound, I think we generally gravitate toward those that are similar to us. Because of this, sometimes it's hard for us to understand what it's like to be in an entirely different economic situation because we simply don't see it.

 

For instance, if one lives in relative affluence, it's easy to share financial advice that may not be helpful to someone that can't afford to buy healthy food at the grocery store. Also, if one is surrounded by people struggling financially, it's hard to understand how some families can afford to enroll their kids in multiple activities, buy new clothing, driver newer cars, etc.

 

I think this board has been great about educating everyone on financial struggles. While these threads get contentious, I really think they've changed perceptions by hearing honest, raw stories and examples about struggles.

 

We haven't had a lot of threads on financial prosperity, though. Can we do this in a way that would inform and still stay pleasant?

 

For the purposes of this thread, prospering financially means you have enough to pay all bills each month, have some savings, live in a house you consider comfortable, have access to good medical care, and can afford to purchase healthy food. Also, if you had an unexpected bill, such as a car repair, it wouldn't cause financial hardship for the month.

 

So, if you are prospering financially, do you attribute this to your education, background, genetics, good health, work ethic, geographic area in which you reside, luck, family inheritance, or other?

[DawnM]

I am hesitant to be the first one to answer this but I think DH and I are in a very good place financially.

 

We are not what some would consider wealthy or anything (although compared to about 95% of the world we are rich and I don't take that for granted for one minute!)

 

It isn't geographical. We did well in CA and are still doing well in NC.

 

We both came from very hard work ethic driven families. It was expected of both of us (DH and me) to go to college. We both have advanced degrees and went into careers that just happen to offer job security. I am not saying that it would never happen, but neither of us has ever had a problem finding a job or keeping a job.

 

However, we were not always good with what we had. It has only been in the last few years that we have realized that we never want to be in debt again. We also have over 6 months of living expenses saved and only owe on our house. It was NOT EASY saving that $$. But we started with Crown Financial in our church and it changed our lives.

 

We also do have good health insurance (although we do pay some) and retirement options. Who knows what that retirement will cover in 30 years though.

 

Dawn

 

PS: And I can tell you right now that one mistake we made was buying our current house. We bought it 6.5 years ago and it was more than we should have spent. We have now gotten a 15 year loan but it is tighter than I would like. I would sell it tomorrow and downsize if we could get even what we put into it, but the market stinks right now.

 

 

So, if you are prospering financially, do you attribute this to your education, background, genetics, good health, work ethic, geographic area in which you reside, luck, family inheritance, or other?

Edited August 27, 2011 by DawnM

[Georgiana Daniels]

:bigear:

[Tap]

We are not affluent.

 

We do meet the criteria you mentioned.

 

Or 5 closest friends have varied income from living on assistance to wealthy enough to pay $45,000 in tuition costs a year..out of pocket. Dh and I make 1/2 of what most of our friends make yearly. We also have more money set aside and less debt than most of them. On paper, we are worth more (debt/income/assests) than most of our friends who make much, much more than we do. They are more comfortable having the debt than we are.

 

We live with the philosophy that you live within your means by about 80%. We have saved 20% or more of our income every year since we were 30yo or so. Before that it was about 10%. We do not spend that savings, it is our retirement or desperate emergency fund. We both work and work hard. We don't strive for 'getting by', we want to have a savings, so we work harder/longer/faster to make sure it happens. Even when I was homeschooling full time, I still worked 20-40 hours a week. There were many months when dh and I only saw each other in passing, to make this work. We did not want the kids raised in daycare, so we moved our schedules to work around them.

 

We do not expect others to have our work ethic or priorities, it just who we are. To some people, our minimal time together has too high of a cost, but it works for us. We are two, very, very independent people....I think that is why we are still together, and like each other 20 years later. LOL It speaks to our personalities more than anything. We do not have educations, and we know that it would take very little to topple our little world. We have nothing and no one to fall back on if we ever hit hard times.

Edited August 27, 2011 by Tap, tap, tap

[weaver_67579]

and:

-luck

-good choices

-graduating college - both of us

-great work ethics

-no debt other than the farm (we own older paid for cars)

-have emergency fund so daily living expenses are not a problem when

a problem comes up

-neither of us are big spenders and do not feel the need to keep up

with the Jones

-thrifty shoppers- most clothes come from Goodwill (we go weekly)

I use coupons and cook from scratch most of the time. I do not buy

junk as a general rule-food or other stuff. I will buy quality stuff that

that will last (often used)

-willingness to work places we don't like if it benefits our family - both of

us have done this

-willing to sacrifice wants now for a better future I think this is the biggest help It is not that I don't like nice stuff-I sure do, but I am willing to wait for it and save for it.

 

We both have family that is not in as good a situation as we are and a lot of it has to do with the I want it now syndrome.

 

btw- I would not consider us very wealthy, but comfortable. Our house isn't fancy and needs a lot of work (original part is log-too old to be recorded at the county) and the farm buildings are in disrepair (working on that only purchased it 2 years ago-DH is tearing down a shed as we speak-lol) We are able to pay our bills, have money saved and don't want for anything. Reading Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover changed our lives a few years ago and we are currently taking Financial Peace University at church-love it and would recommend it to anyone.

Edited August 27, 2011 by weaver_67579

[CarolfromIL]

My pastor taught the Dave Ramsey program. The pastor also has a financial background and has helped us with saving, spending and tithe.

[Jennifer3141]

Almost everything we have in life can be directly attributed to DH's medical education.

 

I bought the stuff while he was pursuing it but after 15 years, most of my stuff is broken. :D

 

So in our case, it's DH's education.

[Punks in Ontario]

Off the top of my head, I'd say the best thing we've done is to keep away from debt. If we don't have the money, don't spend it. It's helped us to decide what is really important and what is fluff. Neither of us like to spend money on frivolous things as a result.

 

Getting out of debt has allowed me to stay home even thought dh doesn't have an amazing income.

 

Another thing that has helped has been keeping careful track of what we spend and where. This helps us to be more intentional about what we buy and where we invest. It's a bit time consuming, but the money I've saved by doing this has made it just about the best paying job I've ever had.

[desiree77]

For most of my married life, I would have said we were prospering financially. Recently my dh underwent a career change that has set us back a little. We aren't able to save as much or buy many extras. We still pay all our bills and buy quality food, while living in a nice area and driving two cars.

 

What do I attribute our good fortune to? Honestly, I hadn't really thought about it!

 

education - nope. Dh has a high school education and the jobs he's worked haven't required a degree. I have a degree, but the loans from that have been a drain on our finances rather than a help. I've never worked.

 

background - maybe. Both our parents are hard-working people. Dh's father was a good example of a man willing to go to the job day after day to earn a living for his family. Even though he didn't like that job. Dh did the same job and we prospered. Unlike his dad, dh decided to change careers and take a paycut in order to do something more fulfilling.

 

genetics - no clue. I don't think in terms of genetics. I probably attribute life situation to our choices rather than our genes.

 

good health - this certainly plays a part! Without good health, we cannot work or earn money. We have both enjoyed good health. We have never had medical bills pile up.

 

work ethic - this one ties in with background. Dh was raised with a strong work ethic.

 

I mostly answered for dh, since he works for money. If the money-making was left to me, I'm afraid that we'd be sunk! I don't have a strong work ethic or good mental health. My physical health is good, but the lethargy that comes from mental issues isn't conducive to getting much work done.

 

geographic area in which you reside - we live in a great area for jobs, but my dh is a firefighter and doesn't have to worry about job security as much as he would in a different field. We also aren't part of a culture of poverty. If anything, we have to fight against a culture of materialism that tells us we need the newest and best of everything.

 

luck - uh, no

 

family inheritance - I wish!

 

We also know the right way to budget and spend our money. We did read Dave Ramsey a while back. We don't treat his advice as gospel, but we've done our best with what we've been given. His saving advice is what enabled dh to change careers and take the paycut without going broke. It's what keeps us solvent now that we don't make as much.

[UnsinkableKristen]

 

So, if you are prospering financially, do you attribute this to your education, background, genetics, good health, work ethic, geographic area in which you reside, luck, family inheritance, or other?

 

I'm trying to figure out a way to answer this without sounding like we have always made perfect decisions, but also to not sweep away hard work by calling it "luck". :)

 

I would have to attribute it to a combination of the above factors (except the inheritance).

 

DH has a good education, an incredibly strong work ethic, a family back ground that prizes always finding a solution, and he is particularly good at what he does (which is also what his father does). The work he does has not been impacted by the current economy as much as others, and we live in an area that hasn't been hit as hard. I don't want to undermine DH in this regard, though, because even when he was laid off during the recession he found another job (his current one) in under a week.

 

We went through a time where we didn't handle our money as well, though, even with those factors being present. After we took a Dave Ramsey class, we took much more responsibility for how we used our money (I began paying MUCH closer attention to how I manged the financial part of our household) and changed how we viewed DH's ability to earn (the more he makes, the more we can help other people). Learning those lessons was the key for us being successful at this point.

 

That all said, we are not above struggling again at some point, I am sure. There are things that are simply out of one's control. We've been blessed both by circumstances, health, and hard work.

[Stacy in NJ]

So, if you are prospering financially, do you attribute this to your education, background, genetics, good health, work ethic, geographic area in which you reside, luck, family inheritance, or other?

 

The two most important, I think, are my dh's work ethic and brain power, and our frugal lifestyle.

 

We've always been savers. Even as newly married and almost broke, we choose to live in a studio apartment and save towards purchasing a house rather than spend more in rent. We've always lived below our income level - saving a good portion of our earnings. We're also investors; we've invested cautiously and well in the stock market and bonds and now in real estate.

 

We now own outright the original studio apartment we initially rented when newly married, our 3 bedroom/2 bath "starter" home (we lived in it for 15 years, and the larger new home we just purchased. We have no debt. We'll be easily able to send both of our kids to college with no loans or debt. Retirement for dh won't be a problem either.

 

My advice is to spend much less than you make. Don't attempt to keep up with the Jones (the Jones are underwater on the mortgage).

[Ginevra]

I heard (was it Dave Ramsey?) that the five friends closest to you have an income relatively close to yours. (Someone correct me if I've misquoted this.)

 

While exceptions abound, I think we generally gravitate toward those that are similar to us. Because of this, sometimes it's hard for us to understand what it's like to be in an entirely different economic situation because we simply don't see it.

 

For instance, if one lives in relative affluence, it's easy to share financial advice that may not be helpful to someone that can't afford to buy healthy food at the grocery store. Also, if one is surrounded by people struggling financially, it's hard to understand how some families can afford to enroll their kids in multiple activities, buy new clothing, driver newer cars, etc.

 

I think this board has been great about educating everyone on financial struggles. While these threads get contentious, I really think they've changed perceptions by hearing honest, raw stories and examples about struggles.

 

We haven't had a lot of threads on financial prosperity, though. Can we do this in a way that would inform and still stay pleasant?

 

For the purposes of this thread, prospering financially means you have enough to pay all bills each month, have some savings, live in a house you consider comfortable, have access to good medical care, and can afford to purchase healthy food. Also, if you had an unexpected bill, such as a car repair, it wouldn't cause financial hardship for the month.

 

So, if you are prospering financially, do you attribute this to your education, background, genetics, good health, work ethic, geographic area in which you reside, luck, family inheritance, or other?

 

I do think you're right that you tend to gravitate to people who are in approximately your situation.

 

By your definition, we are prospering financially. We did suffer a severe downturn for a while in 2008-9, but we've gotten back to a decent spot.

 

I attribute it to several factors, which I'll try to keep simple.

 

1) Hard work. Both of us, but DH developed this early, before he was out of his teens.

 

2) Choice to avoid debt and build assets. Again, dh really was on the ball with this much earlier than most. In his early 20's, he bought a lot (property), for a future house, while living at home with parents. He bought nothing frivolous; his truck was basic; he incurred no credit debt. When we paired up, I was on board with this idea, too, so we are a good match in that way.

 

3) Genetics. I do think that the preference for frugality, self-discipline, ability to delay gratification, and just plain having good skills to earn are genetic traits. Dh's parents provided a very good living with factors 1 and 2 and I meshed in with the same ideals.

 

4) Good planning. Avoidance of debt and living below our means helped us build up a good, strong safety net, which we have needed. We lived with no income at times during the current recession; if we were living paycheck-to-paycheck, we would not have made it through those rough spots.

 

5) Dumb luck. I have to give some props to plain old "right place, right time" luck. With his hard work and asset-building, he bought property, paid it off and hand-built a home. The "lucky" part was that property values quintupled (early 2000's), while we owned a home worth far more than owed. Dh is also in home building and we got lucky with property that we bought for pennies that went crazy in value.

 

I do hope that nobody ends up pointing at my post as though it's a put-down if they are not in a good spot financially. I know there are people who work hard, plan, attempt to avoid debt, etc., but life goes wrong. I'm sure my "luck" entry could be much longer, since I have been lucky that dh has not become disabled, lucky that we didn't get a horrid customer that sued us into bankruptcy, and on and on and on. But I do think that making good choices over a long period of time makes financial stability way more probable.

[mommaduck]

Wow, by everyone's definition, we shouldn't be in the spot we're in nor should we ever have been in any of the situations we've been in. Guess we lost out on the luck factor. Congrats to ya'll.

[Barb_]

We are not as well off as we were 2-5 years ago, but ironically we're happier. Even though we don't have money for extras like a car for the kids to drive or music and dance lessons, etc, we cover the basics plus some discretionary funds, and we don't have to worry where the next grocery money will come from.

 

My parents helped my husband finish college. He worked full time and attended school full time at night while I was holding down the household and having kids #2 and #3. So a strong family to back up lots of energy, a good work ethic, perseverence, and the ability to delay gratification.

 

Then 10 years later Rich went back for his MBA. See above. Also, business and healthcare are lucrative. We are lucky he went into that instead of say, music.

 

He's lost his job...let's see...four times now. It's not something I like to advertise. CFO's are the first to go whenever the CEO or the shareholders aren't getting their bonus or whatever. The job is unreliable and precarious. But whenever it happens, he jumps in, uses his contacts and hits the phones for 6-8 hours a day until he secures something else. We try not to get discouraged.

 

Flexibility and the willingness to go where the jobs are. At his level, you can't stay in one place and move up the ladder. You have to be willing to move for a promotion or to get another job when one suddenly vanishes. The job market is a lot better when you are willing to travel to any of the 50 states.

 

I'm good with navigating corporate politics. He's good with financial strategies. We communicate a lot about his job and he trusts me when I say to read this book or listen to this lecture. He has learned a lot about people from me which makes him unusual for a financial guy.

 

As far as managing money, we spend money only on those things that bring us joy. We bought a used hot tub but I don't pay for piano lessons. Every purchase is carefully weighed, then we don't feel guilty about what we've spent or what we fail to spend on. We don't have cable because I'd rather that $75 a month go toward the food budget or books. We don't go out to eat often at all, but I always have wine in the house and I get crab legs every so often if I really want them.

 

Barb

[Amy1k]

We do fairly well financially, but right now we are doing extremely well income-wise because my husband works in a field that is apparently lacking in qualified workers. We are doing poorly life-style wise, because my husband is working a LOT of hours. He's only had a handful of days off this year. Any time he wants a day off (even most holidays) another employee on another shift has to cover for him.

 

He has a college education, but it's a rarity in his field. He's a hard-working and loyal employee. Also, we are fairly frugal. We have a modest home and inexpensive cars. We avoid debt.

[Lisa R.]

Wow, by everyone's definition, we shouldn't be in the spot we're in nor should we ever have been in any of the situations we've been in. Guess we lost out on the luck factor. Congrats to ya'll.

 

It's hard to tell tone over the internet. Are you being sarcastic? Are you sincerely congratulating people on having a good life? When I read the posts, I don't see anyone putting anyone down. As I'm reading, I see them simply sharing their backgrounds, choices, and results they've seen in *their* lives.

[Veritaserum]

1. Dh's field/work. He is a principal software engineer. He has gotten steady and substantial salary increases over the past 12 years since college. He is good at what he does and we are fortunate to live in an area with a high demand for his skill set.

 

2. Dh participated in a start-up company that is doing extremely well. It got purchased by another company and we were able to liquidate a substantial amount of money by selling our stock. Doing the start-up was rather miserable because I literally did not see my husband for six days a week. He slept at the office so that he could work later at night and earlier in the morning (we lived 40 min. away). But it paid off and we are grateful. More than anything, cashing out our stock put us ahead.

 

3. Budgets.

 

I don't know about the friends making a similar amount of money thing. I'm friends with people with whom I share common interests. Financially, their situations vary quite a bit.

[ChiMomNP]

So, if you are prospering financially, do you attribute this to your education, background, genetics, good health, work ethic, geographic area in which you reside, luck, family inheritance, or other?

 

In our case it has been related to educational and investment choices.

[Sharon H in IL]

So, if you are prospering financially, do you attribute this to your education, background, genetics, good health, work ethic, geographic area in which you reside, luck, family inheritance, or other?

Yes. :D

 

I am the saver in the family, DH is the spender. But he's also the primary (now solo) wage earner for most of our married life. And since you can't go around smacking your beloved's hand every time he buys useless stuff or buys stock on margin (GAHH!!), or otherwise makes foolish financial decisions you have to bite your tongue and keep cutting coupons. I can definitely say we are NOT on the same wavelength when it comes to money issues.

 

We'd be wealthy if I got to make all the financial decisions. :lol: We're fine as it is, though way underfunded on our regular savings and retirement imo.

 

I'm going to have to stop homeschooling and go back to work if I want to have somewhere to lay my head once I'm old.

 

So, having a good income and little debt (just the house) can all be undone by issues having to do with unresolved anger and worthlessness installed by poor parenting 50 years ago.

 

That said, DH had a truly excellent public school education through high school. He finished a hard science major at an excellent public university in just three years. (Hard work, helped along by a desire NOT to go home during the summers.) A fabulous, retentive memory helped him get through medical school. Drive and ambition to do well helped too.

 

He's brilliant, imo. That helps. He won awards for research and has published nearly everything he's written in respected scientific journals. Those help when you're job hunting. He chose a speciality that is in demand, though not particularly well-paid, and the market changed 180 degrees from where it was when he began med school. No job security, and high expenses. Income has been up, down, and nonexistent when a clinic he participated in tanked. We've rebuilt from a deep hole several times.

 

He made a good decision in marrying a smart cookie who's a help rather than a hindrance. :thumbup: heh heh.

 

I'm much more frugal than DH is, no matter what our income has been. I do research before buying, and cast a jaundiced eye at advertising come-ons. I favor a long-range investment strategy.

[Barb_]

It's hard to tell tone over the internet. Are you being sarcastic? Are you sincerely congratulating people on having a good life? When I read the posts, I don't see anyone putting anyone down. As I'm reading, I see them simply sharing their backgrounds, choices, and results they've seen in *their* lives.

 

I *think* Mommaduck is being serious. She's not the snarky type. Luck is a factor that can't be controlled (obviously).

[Amy1k]

One thing that has really helped us financially was a decision several (6?) years ago to NOT accept a management position (promotion) with a well-known national newspaper. The position would have required a transfer to a state with a much lower cost of living than where we are now. At the time it made a lot of sense, but the places that we would have chosen from now have much higher unemployment rates. When my husband decided to turn down the position, he also decided to find work with another company. I believe it was a HUGE stroke of luck that he got out of that sinking ship when he did.

[Barb_]

My advice is to spend much less than you make. Don't attempt to keep up with the Jones (the Jones are underwater on the mortgage).

 

Stacy, a lot of people are caught in underwater mortgages simply because they happened to relocate to the wrong area (Las Vegas, Phoenix, Miami) at the wrong time (circa 2005-2008).

 

Barb

[twoforjoy]

Any financial success we've had--and we're doing much better now than we were doing a few years ago--is due to luck. We have good educations and good work histories, but we know that it's really just a matter of being in the right place at the right time that has allowed us to do at all well.

[DianeW88]

We meet all of your criteria, but I wouldn't consider us wealthy compared to some of those around us, including many of my neighbors. I do consider us very blessed.

 

I think the main factor has been that both myself and my dh have college degrees. That has absolutely meant better and more lucrative employment opportunities. It's why we have great health insurance, vacation time, bonus pay, a company car and many other things we never would have had otherwise. It's also why I can stay at home and not struggle to make it on my dh's income. I am so grateful for that...I can't even express how much.

 

I also think we are somewhat careful about our money (although probably not as careful as we should be). I do buy fun things on a whim sometime, I don't worry too much about our food budget, although I DO have a serious budget for groceries...it's not a disaster if I go over it, and we do take a vacation every year, usually to Disney World. However, I am careful to plan and save for things that we want. I am not getting new furniture or hard wood floors on my first floor....we'll just keep cleaning the 13 year old carpet until it disintegrates. :lol: I have friends and neighbors who do both....get lovely things for their home and vacation. I have no idea if they go into debt for it.

 

My kids have been blessed to be involved in whatever extra-curricular activities they choose. However, that is important to me and I will sacrifice things for myself (new clothes, etc.) so that they can participate in activities they love. We are also a family that tends to choose experiences over things, so we may look "thing poor" to others, but we are "experience and memory rich". Also, I can't seem to cure my Amazon addiction and a frightening amount of my disposable income goes straight into Jeff Bezos's pocket. :glare:

 

So ultimately, I'd say that the decision to obtain college degrees, combined with the fact that we live in an area of the country with a relatively low cost of living and the addition of a multitude of blessings from above, is what enables us to live very comfortably. I am very aware that this is not the case for others, especially with our terrible economy at the moment, and I am so very grateful for all that we have.

[regentrude]

some things within our control, some without.

Something we can not take credit for: being healthy. We are thankful for that.

 

Some things which have been conscious choices:

 

Working hard to get a good education (we both have PhDs in physics)

Completing our education before having children

Moving to get a job - even if that meant leaving home country and family

Financial discipline and living below our means (smaller house than we could afford, no credit card debt, saving)

oh, and of course both of us working hard and being good at our jobs

Edited August 27, 2011 by regentrude

[Stacy in NJ]

:001_smile:

 

 

Stacy, a lot of people are caught in underwater mortgages simply because they happened to relocate to the wrong area (Las Vegas, Phoenix, Miami) at the wrong time (circa 2005-2008).

 

Barb

[Ginevra]

Stacy, a lot of people are caught in underwater mortgages simply because they happened to relocate to the wrong area (Las Vegas, Phoenix, Miami) at the wrong time (circa 2005-2008).

 

Barb

 

I'm not Stacy, but I don't think she meant it like that. She was making a joke about people who prop up their *appearances* at the expense of their actual financial health. The seem like they have all the great stuff, but they are in debt up to their eyeballs.

[G5052]

We don't feel like we have to take vacations, drive newer vehicles, have the kids in lots of activities, etc. etc.

 

Both of us work in fields that we love, and that helps too. We're always seeking to improve our skills, and we are in demand in terms of employment.

[catz]

So, if you are prospering financially, do you attribute this to your education, background, genetics, good health, work ethic, geographic area in which you reside, luck, family inheritance, or other?

 

 

We are very comfortable financially. I attribute it to a few different things. Both of us have degrees that lead to good paying job opportunities, so education is a big one. 2nd, we married fairly late (I was 29, he was 37) and each had our own home and hefty savings when we married. We were able to sell one of the houses for a huge gain during the housing boom. We are both fairly conservative spenders overall. When we shop for something, we do our research and look far and wide for good prices. We have some indulgences/luxuries but not nearly as many as one would expect for our income. And lastly, we stopped our family with 2 kids (I really would have gone with 3, but DH was DONE!). We have college savings for each kid and are planning to have our mortgage paid off before they hit college. Our mortgage is our only debt. DH has made some wise investments over the years.

 

So I do think there is a some luck involved there. Neither of us has ever been laid off, although I frantically searched for a job after a threat of that once and DH has been through a few companies. But both of us are planners and fairly conservative. We are both pretty healthy too after one rough pregnancy/recovery. Our lifestyle looks more conservative than my brother's, and I suspect their income is about half of ours. They send money out of their house as soon as they get it in (they have a huge house, require both adults full time working to maintain this lifestyle - it was definitely a choice for them). Education is a big one too.

 

Edited to say - I am also extremely grateful for all we have and our lifestyle. I know many people are struggling right now and I'm glad there are resources available.

Edited August 27, 2011 by kck

[Barb_]

I'm not Stacy, but I don't think she meant it like that. She was making a joke about people who prop up their *appearances* at the expense of their actual financial health. The seem like they have all the great stuff, but they are in debt up to their eyeballs.

 

I'm probably just overly sensitive. Some days I feel like such a chump hanging onto this house and dumping money into it every month while my husband lives 2k away. Kinda sucks, but I don't really see an alternative. We're in our 40's and I don't want to start over. So we wait and see a while longer.

[Scarlett]

I would say my XH and I thrived financially.

 

We did a few things that helped us stay afloat

 

Putting off having children until mid 30s.

 

Working hard

 

Staying out of debt

 

But then his mom put him through school---she made it possible for us to have no school loans when he finished.

 

If we had stayed married we would still be thriving financially. As it is now we are both struggling. He will recover though because he has the good job.

[Ginevra]

I'm probably just overly sensitive. Some days I feel like such a chump hanging onto this house and dumping money into it every month while my husband lives 2k away. Kinda sucks, but I don't really see an alternative. We're in our 40's and I don't want to start over. So we wait and see a while longer.

 

 

I agree, that suc*s.

 

One of answers was "luck". I really do think this accounts for a lot.

[Wheres Toto]

For the purposes of this thread, prospering financially means you have enough to pay all bills each month, have some savings, live in a house you consider comfortable, have access to good medical care, and can afford to purchase healthy food. Also, if you had an unexpected bill, such as a car repair, it wouldn't cause financial hardship for the month.

 

 

 

By all your criteria except the comfortable house, we are prospering and we are getting ready to tear down and rebuild. I definitely attribute it to DH's job which he has because of his work ethic and his education. He was the first person in his family to go to college, he worked hard all his life, he is extremely intelligent and it has paid off. There was also some luck involved in finding the right job, in choosing a major and following a career path that leads to decent income. I have two degrees and would make less than 1/2 of what dh does.

 

I have quite a few friends, including my closest ones, who are definitely not as prosperous, who are struggling financially. But, I was there until very recently so I can definitely relate to them. I grew up extremely poor (food stamps, welfare assistance), then while married to ex it was always a struggle to keep up with things (although some of that was poor management) and while I was a single parent I literally did not make enough to cover the bills and things were heading downhill fast.

[PiCO]

So, if you are prospering financially, do you attribute this to your education, background, genetics, good health, work ethic, geographic area in which you reside, luck, family inheritance, or other?

 

I'm more a Millionaire Next Door type than a Dave Ramsey type.

 

I own my own business, and I would not have needed a college education to do what I do. I do have good health, good luck, and a good work ethic.

 

The advise I give young people is-

1. Do what you love- many people work at jobs they don't like. Why spend half your waking hours doing something you don't enjoy? Try to make what you love to do into a business.

2. Live well below your means. (Buy used everything!)

3. Don't have debt unless you are making money due to the debt. (i.e.- take out a loan for a business, business covers loan payments.)

[AvasMom]

I attribute it to 1)titheing 2)Dave Ramsey 3)relative job security (dh is active military). I consider us to be prospering because we are able to put food on the table without worrying about having enough, we can pay our bills, and we have savings. That doesn't mean we don't have super tight pay periods sometimes.

[Stacy in NJ]

:001_smile:

[Stacy in NJ]

I'm not Stacy, but I don't think she meant it like that. She was making a joke about people who prop up their *appearances* at the expense of their actual financial health. The seem like they have all the great stuff, but they are in debt up to their eyeballs.

 

We live in the burbs of NYC and there is tremendous pressure to cultivate the appearance of wealth. Indulging in that sport makes you a slave to your mortgage payment and to your job because you cannot afford to lose it.

 

One of the reasons dh has done so well in his profession, I think, is because we've always had FU money (pardon the vulgarity). He's been able to take risks professionally that other might not because we've had a lot of savings as cushion. It's easier to take risks when you're not living paycheck to paycheck.

[desiree77]

Well, I said earlier that I didn't think luck had anything to do with it, but I guess that's because I tend to attribute good luck to God. Bad luck is just life, and we've been fortunate not to have much. We've sold two houses. One took 8 months to sell, and we were fortunate that our lifestyle choices enabled us to keep making two mortgage payments that long without really hurting. The second house sold for a higher-than-expected amount the month before the stock market crashed in '08. I always praised God for that, but I suppose some people would just see it as luck.

[mommaduck]

It's hard to tell tone over the internet. Are you being sarcastic? Are you sincerely congratulating people on having a good life? When I read the posts, I don't see anyone putting anyone down. As I'm reading, I see them simply sharing their backgrounds, choices, and results they've seen in *their* lives.

 

The congrats is sincere. But yes, there is a ring of bitterness. That bitterness is when you've had people throughout your life asking if you've done this and that and wrote books on being a success financially, and yet, doing everything in your power, you still can't win. It hurts. It hurts when you have many financially stable people, you try to work a business, everyone is supportive to your face, but none of them are supportive in practicality (but you go their businesses and give them business).

[Stacy in NJ]

I know many, many good folks got stuck in the real estate trap.

 

There is an element to luck to everything.

 

Best wishes.

 

:grouphug:

 

I'm probably just overly sensitive. Some days I feel like such a chump hanging onto this house and dumping money into it every month while my husband lives 2k away. Kinda sucks, but I don't really see an alternative. We're in our 40's and I don't want to start over. So we wait and see a while longer.

[AvasMom]

It's hard to tell tone over the internet. Are you being sarcastic? Are you sincerely congratulating people on having a good life? When I read the posts, I don't see anyone putting anyone down. As I'm reading, I see them simply sharing their backgrounds, choices, and results they've seen in *their* lives.

 

Probably her post needed a supportive response. When you are struggling it is VERY discouraging and it's hard to hear about others doing well.

[AvasMom]

Yes. :D

 

I am the saver in the family, DH is the spender. But he's also the primary (now solo) wage earner for most of our married life. And since you can't go around smacking your beloved's hand every time he buys useless stuff or buys stock on margin (GAHH!!), or otherwise makes foolish financial decisions you have to bite your tongue and keep cutting coupons. I can definitely say we are NOT on the same wavelength when it comes to money issues.

 

 

Really? Yeah I missed that memo. :lol: My dh is a smoker. :banghead: I absolutely do not bite my tongue about the expense of cigarettes. They are the thorn in our marriage. My dh has the same issues as yours which I'm sure is the root of it. However, it's still a thorn between us (that and other $$ issues he has). *sigh*

Edited August 27, 2011 by tjlufkin

[Lady Florida.]

I would repeat much of what others have said.

 

Luck? Some of it. And some good old fashioned nepotism, and a good work ethic. Dh started where he works over 30 years ago when his dad knew someone who knew someone who gave dh a job. Where he went after that and where he is now was due to his work ethic, but he's still working at the same Air Force base he started at all those years ago.

 

Education? No. Dh became a single father and had to make some hard choices. One was to discontinue his education so he could raise his son. He's self taught, and knows more than many of the college graduates there, but the degree is required for certain positions. He would have been able to go farther in his job if he had that degree, but he's not sorry he chose to give it up. I'm the one with a degree but haven't worked in over 14 years. We were only married for 3 years before I quit, so we didn't have much time on a double income.

 

We downsized our house so I could stay home. I know we'd be struggling if we stayed in the big house with the big mortgage.

 

Work ethic. Dh's father was a bank VP, so neither he nor his siblings had to work. But FIL insisted they all find their own way. He refused to be a money machine for his kids and I think it made a difference in all but the youngest of the siblings.

 

I don't think any or all of the reasons why we're doing okay are a prescription for others to follow. Sometimes it really does come down to luck. And to how you handle the money you do have. And where you live (cost of living, job market, etc.). I think there are too many variables to say, "If you can do this, you'll be financially better off."

 

We have friends who are better off than us and friends who are worse off. Most are within the same income level, but not everyone handles their money in the same way. We live within our means. Not everyone we know does that. Some people we know do it better than us.

 

I do know what it's like to be the child in a financially strapped household. I feel very thankful that I've not had the experience as an adult.

Edited August 27, 2011 by floridamom
I really should preview for typos before pressing submit.

[deacongirl]

To being fortunate enough to be born white and upper middle class in the U.S. To my grandparents who had the courage to immigrate from Ireland, who taught their children to work hard. To my dad's hard work that allowed him to prosper in a career that he loved, and the timing of his career in his industry--pilots today face very different challenges than he did. To my mom's hard work early in their marriage as a nurse, and their decision to delay kids until they were financially in a better position. To my parents choice to live in a town with excellent schools and then to pay for my college education so I didn't have school loans. To my husband's good fortune to be born white and upper middle class in Germany, and to also have access to an excellent education. To his current employer for somehow convincing the US govt. that they could not find an American capable of doing his job. To his hard work, intelligence, and skills (70-80 hours a week) since then. Mostly, again, to being born white and with access to a good education. (and, at that point, I agree with doing what you love). I don't think God loves me more than children born in developing countries or in inner-city Camden, for example. So IMO for us--luck combined with taking advantage of opportunities presented (and hard work too).

Edited August 27, 2011 by deacongirl

[Barb_]

I know many, many good folks got stuck in the real estate trap.

 

There is an element to luck to everything.

 

Best wishes.

 

:grouphug:

 

Thanks. I'm just grouchy. Generally it's not a bad thing and we're pretty happy. We got to spend 3 months in Chicago, there's that. But it's hard when every so often the little ones get weepy because they are missing their daddy. I could buy another house the same size down the street for $250K less than what we paid for this one. Then we could tell Wells Fargo what they can do with their "making houses affordable" (pffft) lies. Then we could afford to rent out this house for a few years and then retire here, or move back later if we wanted. As it stands, rents on a house our size are $1000/month less than our mortgage is right now.

 

I keep trying to decide if we are being honorable or stupid.

[AngelBee]

:lurk5:

[NanceXToo]

For the purposes of this thread, prospering financially means you have enough to pay all bills each month, have some savings, live in a house you consider comfortable, have access to good medical care, and can afford to purchase healthy food. Also, if you had an unexpected bill, such as a car repair, it wouldn't cause financial hardship for the month.

 

So, if you are prospering financially, do you attribute this to your education, background, genetics, good health, work ethic, geographic area in which you reside, luck, family inheritance, or other?

 

I am a stay at home mom and my husband is a high school drop out without so much as a GED who owns a tattoo shop. While we are not "rich," we have everything we need, a lot of what we want, and can deal with unexpected expenses as they come up. I attribute this to the fact that even in a bad economy there are people who will spend money on things and services they want and enjoy, and I guess tattoos are one of those things! Things did definitely slow down with the recent economy, but the customers didn't stop coming altogether, fortunately.

 

Meanwhile someone like my cousin who defended her dissertation and ended up with "dr" before her name spent MONTHS unable to find a job and finally found- a temporary one.

 

Times are hard. I'm just glad my fairly uneducated spouse has a talent/skill that other people want to pay him for!

[KathyBC]

nm

Edited August 30, 2011 by KathyBC
While it was fun to participate, I realize I have nothing to add to this thread.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Prosperity is relative. If you came to my house and saw my kitchen with the pitted vinyl floor, the cabinets where half the doors have fallen off and the oven which is ready to bite the dust every minute, you would think we were poor. But we are saving for a new kitchen and will not get one until we have the money saved up front.

 

We kept our kids off of our rotting deck (which I literally fell through one day) for 4 years before we got the money to replace it. Now we have a beautiful cedar deck which we paid for on installation.

 

So that's the biggest thing I would attribute our financial prosperity to. We don't spend money we don't have. Often it takes us many years to make our goals, though, because an unexpected ER bill has wiped out our kitchen fund a number of times. (We have an emergency fund too but I'll spend the kitchen fund before I'll touch it.)

 

A lot of it comes down to priorities too. I buy all our clothes at Goodwill but I set aside money for medical insurance etc. I'm not saying that my priorities are better than anyone else's but I do think it has saved our particular family because we've had poor health and have personally needed the medical insurance more than the newest clothing.

[Peela]

So, if you are prospering financially, do you attribute this to your education, background, genetics, good health, work ethic, geographic area in which you reside, luck, family inheritance, or other?

 

Dh's attitude to money, more than anything, I would say. He has what I would call "prosperity consciousness" and I have learned to have it too.

Before we got together, dh was a millionaire running a business he didn't like and which wasn't of much benefit to the world. But he managed to retire by the time he was 28 and travel the world. Then he developed a conscience, as he puts it. He also got very sick and was stuck in bed for a couple of years. He decided to shut down his business- gave it to his employees actually- and with nothing and bare feet, hitchhiked around Australia. I knew him before- when he was wealthy- but we got together after he had been doing this for a couple of years and he had nothing.

He always knows how he can go back and make a lot of money. But instead, he lives a life of wanting to serve others, and he has a knack for making enough money to support us doing that (he is a therapist nowadays). He is an entrepreneur.

 

We started out with a car full of camping gear, and built up from there. We have ben 2nd hand shopping for 20 years and we love it and our whole home is furnished with 2nd hand furniture, ornaments, crockery etc, as well as most of our clothes. We buy 2nd hand cars- sometimes nice ones! We don't go into debt for "stuff".

We feel wealthy. We purposefully rent in a wealthy area so that our kids grow up around wealthy people, even though we can't buy here. Its a very deliberate decision on dh's part (that I have appreciated- its nice here- but I would have chosen to buy instead). We bought 2 investment properties for retirement.

Dh works probably 25 hours a week, plus 10 hours unpaid because he loves his work. I work about 5 or 6 hours a week paid. We do not sacrifice lifestyle for anything and would probably downsize a lot rather than work more than we wanted to.

 

We look at the millionaires in our street - or at least, their properties are worth between 1 and 2 million- and we KNOW they are in debt up to their eyeballs and working very hard to stay afloat.

Plenty of people we know are more wealthy than us. Even many people who feel very poor. WE do not feel poor- we feel very prosperous.