Do you ever feel like prayers are a waste of time? (cc)

[caitlinsmom]

I am there. I feel like I have spent the last year on my knees, even when I haven't been on my knees. Financially we have had the crappiest two years ever. The struggles with our oldest DD this last year have been taxing beyond belief. I thought we finally had come to a place where things would be looking up. And then it all starts to fall again.

 

I feel like He isn't listening, no matter what I say, how I say it, just not listening. I feel like I pour out my heart and soul, all the worries and fears and stress every single day and I never get any sort of comfort or guidence. The stress is killing me, the depression is a daily battle, our family is starting to fall apart again and I felt like we were finally on the right track.

 

I know that our prayers aren't answered the way we want sometimes but give me a freakin' break already. I am ready to beg, plead, bargin, whatever I have to do. Something has got to give or it will be my sanity.

 

I feel like my faith has been tested non-stop for 2 years and as of today it doesn't look like it is going to end. I am so tired of it all. I don't want life to be easy, I know we have to have struggles to grow....

 

Am I the only person who has been at this crazy point? The only one who wants to just throw the towel in (as in faith, nothing more!)?

 

Boy its been a bad day.

[texasmama]

:grouphug: Yes, I have felt that way.:grouphug:

[Barb_]

:grouphug: I have nothing to add since I came to a conclusion that is likely nothing you wan to hear, but I just want you to know I've been there too.

 

 

Barb

[Starr]

:grouphug:I'll pray for you - you can take a break. :grouphug:

[mom4him]

:grouphug: I am so sorry.

 

Yes, I have been there. Not for a long time though and that isn't because everything has suddenly started to go well.

 

I really don't even know how to explain it. I guess that through all the rough times, searching the Word, crying out to my Abba Father, searching for the answers for what ever situation is going on, through it all I have become stronger in HIM. I have come to realize how much He loves me and my family. There are certain scriptures that I run to. II Tim 1:7; Jer.29:11-13; Is.43:1-3; Is. 65:23; Jn 1:1-5.

 

These are just a few. As you meditate on them you will realize that it may not look ok right this minute but as God leads you to the answers it will be ok.

[JennifersLost]

I'm not a Christian, but this is the method I find helpful.

 

I've stopped looking for "specific" answers/fixes to problems I am having. Instead, I start each morning by putting the things I feel incomplete about - i.e. my "problems" on an imaginary altar in my mind. I just give them to (God) with no expectations. Even if the same problem persists, I put it on that altar every day. Sometimes I visualize wrapping the problem up in a burlap sack and leaving it by the side of the road.

 

In either case it is the act of separating myself from the problems - of saying "here - I can't deal with them. I need help." that I find helpful.

 

I have been surprised by the number of times I've found that the problems have been solved, in unexpected ways often. I hear you that it doesn't always happen fast enough, but don't give up.

 

Don't give up on human help, either. Are you leaning enough on friends, family and your support community? Often we feel that we have to handle everything ourselves, but that's not the case.

 

Hope things get better for you.

[LG Gone Wild]

I am sorry. Yep, there is has been a time or two when I have said, "Up yours!"

[Tree House Academy]

I typed a whole response out and it was lost. Obviously it was something God wants you to hear and Satan doesn't. I am going to type it again. Get ye behind me Satan!

 

Yes...I have been where you are. I have felt many times that God wasn't listening to me...that He didn't care about me or about the struggles in my life. Years...and years and years (7 at least, and really more) I fought those feelings. In the end, it wasn't God who had stopped listening to me...it was ME that had stopped listening to Him. He was telling me to go back to church, to spend time in His Word, to change my life for Him! The biggest thing he was asking me to do is to step out and sing in church. It is something I had repeatedly pushed down the urge to do.

 

When I finally stopped and listened to what He wanted me to do...and started doing those things, my life started to change. As time has gone on, I have seen God working in my life in a mighty way. I have surrounded myself with friends who are grounded in their faith and now, I no longer feel so alone in my walk. My husband has started going to church now too. :) And the biggest change was when I stepped out and sang for God's Glory. I know...I KNOW...God is using ME to touch others in that way. Little *ME*! :)

 

Your post made me think of the song, "Praise You in this Storm." Like I said, my ministry is in song...so here is my best attempt to help.

 

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down

and wiped our tears away,

stepped in and saved the day.

But once again, I say amen

and it's still raining

as the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain,

"I'm with you"

and as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise

the God who gives and takes away.

 

Chorus:

And I'll praise you in this storm

and I will lift my hands

for You are who You are

no matter where I am

and every tear I've cried

You hold in your hand

You never left my side

and though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm

 

I remember when I stumbled in the wind

You heard my cry to You

and raised me up again

my strength is almost gone how can I carry on

if I can't find You

and as the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

and as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise

the God who gives and takes away

 

Chorus

 

I lift my eyes onto the hills

where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

I lift my eyes onto the hills

where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

[specialmama]

I typed a whole response out and it was lost. Obviously it was something God wants you to hear and Satan doesn't. I am going to type it again. Get ye behind me Satan!

 

Yes...I have been where you are. I have felt many times that God wasn't listening to me...that He didn't care about me or about the struggles in my life. Years...and years and years (7 at least, and really more) I fought those feelings. In the end, it wasn't God who had stopped listening to me...it was ME that had stopped listening to Him. He was telling me to go back to church, to spend time in His Word, to change my life for Him! The biggest thing he was asking me to do is to step out and sing in church. It is something I had repeatedly pushed down the urge to do.

 

When I finally stopped and listened to what He wanted me to do...and started doing those things, my life started to change. As time has gone on, I have seen God working in my life in a mighty way. I have surrounded myself with friends who are grounded in their faith and now, I no longer feel so alone in my walk. My husband has started going to church now too. :) And the biggest change was when I stepped out and sang for God's Glory. I know...I KNOW...God is using ME to touch others in that way. Little *ME*! :)

 

Your post made me think of the song, "Praise You in this Storm." Like I said, my ministry is in song...so here is my best attempt to help.

 

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down

and wiped our tears away,

stepped in and saved the day.

But once again, I say amen

and it's still raining

as the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain,

"I'm with you"

and as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise

the God who gives and takes away.

 

Chorus:

And I'll praise you in this storm

and I will lift my hands

for You are who You are

no matter where I am

and every tear I've cried

You hold in your hand

You never left my side

and though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm

 

I remember when I stumbled in the wind

You heard my cry to You

and raised me up again

my strength is almost gone how can I carry on

if I can't find You

and as the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

and as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise

the God who gives and takes away

 

Chorus

 

I lift my eyes onto the hills

where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

I lift my eyes onto the hills

where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

 

:crying::hurray: Beautiful and true!

[TracyR]

I have no true words of wisdome. But I want to let you know I feel your agony. I've been living it the past 4 years since my youngest has been born.

We've got a lot going on too and at times I know that things could be much worse.

Right now a little girl that we know that was born with the same health problems as my daughter is dying. So we could be losing our child.

My husband is out of work, and I hate where I live but its a roof over my head. It could be much worse, we could be living out on the streets.

My health isn't very good. i've been suffering from thyroid problems for a very long time. But I'm here for my family and that's all that counts.

Sometimes its hard to find the blessings when things are going wrong. Sometimes it can be hard to be thankful for the things God has given us when times are tough.

Sometimes its hard to remember that it could be so much worse than what we're going through.

And sometimes we forget that God's time isn't our time. We live in a society where we want things now. Sometimes we need to stop and hear what it is God is telling us. Sometimes with the hussle and bustle of everything we just don't stop to listen.

 

Since having my youngest the one thing I've learned is that everything happens in time when its meant to be. I can't tell you how many times where I've thought, we've got to do this now! But things would happen that would prevent us from doing things now. I couldn't see where it was all going until we got there. Bascially everything happened when it was meant to.

 

I'm sure that none of these words can make things better for you. But know that you just have to keep praying.

My husband and I have been married for 16yrs. He maybe went to church with me on the number of fingers I have on one hand in 16yrs. I continously prayed for us to be able to go to church together as a family. After 16yrs we finally have :>)

 

Life is never easy. I will never understand it. I will never understand why God does what He does, when He does it. But we just have to keep moving on, plugging away, and know and trust that God knows what He wants for us. Each day I just offer it up to God and let Him lead the way.

[caitlinsmom]

.

 

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down

and wiped our tears away,

stepped in and saved the day.

But once again, I say amen

and it's still raining

as the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain,

"I'm with you"

and as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise

the God who gives and takes away.

 

Chorus:

And I'll praise you in this storm

and I will lift my hands

for You are who You are

no matter where I am

and every tear I've cried

You hold in your hand

You never left my side

and though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm

 

I remember when I stumbled in the wind

You heard my cry to You

and raised me up again

my strength is almost gone how can I carry on

if I can't find You

and as the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

and as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise

the God who gives and takes away

 

Chorus

 

I lift my eyes onto the hills

where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

I lift my eyes onto the hills

where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

 

Thank you for you kind words and for the words to this song. I often will put this song on when I am feeling frusterated. I haven't for a while though, I guess I need to hear it again.

 

Thank you.

[caitlinsmom]

I have no true words of wisdome. But I want to let you know I feel your agony. I've been living it the past 4 years since my youngest has been born.

We've got a lot going on too and at times I know that things could be much worse.

Right now a little girl that we know that was born with the same health problems as my daughter is dying. So we could be losing our child.

My husband is out of work, and I hate where I live but its a roof over my head. It could be much worse, we could be living out on the streets.

My health isn't very good. i've been suffering from thyroid problems for a very long time. But I'm here for my family and that's all that counts.

Sometimes its hard to find the blessings when things are going wrong. Sometimes it can be hard to be thankful for the things God has given us when times are tough.

Sometimes its hard to remember that it could be so much worse than what we're going through.

And sometimes we forget that God's time isn't our time. We live in a society where we want things now. Sometimes we need to stop and hear what it is God is telling us. Sometimes with the hussle and bustle of everything we just don't stop to listen.

 

Since having my youngest the one thing I've learned is that everything happens in time when its meant to be. I can't tell you how many times where I've thought, we've got to do this now! But things would happen that would prevent us from doing things now. I couldn't see where it was all going until we got there. Bascially everything happened when it was meant to.

 

I'm sure that none of these words can make things better for you. But know that you just have to keep praying.

My husband and I have been married for 16yrs. He maybe went to church with me on the number of fingers I have on one hand in 16yrs. I continously prayed for us to be able to go to church together as a family. After 16yrs we finally have :>)

 

Life is never easy. I will never understand it. I will never understand why God does what He does, when He does it. But we just have to keep moving on, plugging away, and know and trust that God knows what He wants for us. Each day I just offer it up to God and let Him lead the way.

 

:grouphug: I will add you to my prayers. Thank you for your thoughts, especially that last paragraph.

[Tree House Academy]

I hope that when you listen to it, you will allow God to speak to your heart through it. I don't know your struggles, but you will be in my thoughts and prayers. *hugs*

[DawnL]

Yes. For the first 10 years of our marriage, Dh and I struggled horribly with infertility. We tried everything, we each had surgery for different "problems" that were never resolved, we found our only choice to have "homegrown" kids was in vitro fertilization. Of course, that's not covered by insurance and it's very expensive and we never had money for that.

 

Our last chance was adoption. It took forever for us to both be on the same page, but we got there. Then, of course, adoption is very expensive, too.

 

All our efforts, all the money, all the prayers. Not just prayers by me and dh, but prayers by family and friends who love us, too. It was very depressing and it seemed there was no end in sight.

 

Christmas of 1999 was the most depressed we'd ever been. We didn't get a Christmas tree or anything. Why bother, with no kids to enjoy it? It felt like prayers were a complete waste of time. And I felt completely useless, too.

 

It took nearly 11 years, but our prayers were finally answered. They were answered suddenly, in an unexpected way. God blessed us with our daughter. I had met her birthmom online, through a friend of a very casual online acquaintance.

 

I had prayed for "Four kids, but I'll settle for three if I have to..." was my constant prayer. Well, every 2-2.5 years, that baby bug would bite me and I'd be off, pursuing the adoption of our next child. But after our third child, God took that desire from me. I've never found myself pining for a fourth child. So, yes, he not only answered our prayers in unexpected ways, but he answered them that thoroughly.

 

:grouphug: I will pray that your prayers get answered in whatever way God intends, and that the answer comes much more quickly to you.

[Heather in Neverland]

Yes I have been there... oh how I have been there... :grouphug:

 

I can count a million times

People asking me how I

Can praise You with all that I've gone through?

 

The question just amazes me.

Can circumstances possibly

Change who I forever am in You?

 

Maybe since my life was changed

Long before these rainy days

It's never really ever crossed my mind

To turn my back on you, oh Lord

My only shelter from the storm

But instead I draw closer through these times

So I pray

 

Bring me joy, bring me peace

Bring the chance to be free

Bring me anything that brings You glory

And I know there'll be days

When this life brings me pain

But if that's what it takes to praise You

Jesus, bring the rain

 

I am Yours regardless of

The clouds that may loom above

Because You are much greater than my pain.

 

You who made a way for me

By suffering Your destiny

So tell me what's a little rain?

So I pray

 

Holy, holy, holy

Is the Lord God Almighty

[kristavws]

:grouphug: and prayers.

[milovany]

I'm not a Christian, but this is the method I find helpful.

 

I've stopped looking for "specific" answers/fixes to problems I am having. Instead, I start each morning by putting the things I feel incomplete about - i.e. my "problems" on an imaginary altar in my mind. I just give them to (God) with no expectations. Even if the same problem persists, I put it on that altar every day. Sometimes I visualize wrapping the problem up in a burlap sack and leaving it by the side of the road.

 

In either case it is the act of separating myself from the problems - of saying "here - I can't deal with them. I need help." that I find helpful.

 

I have been surprised by the number of times I've found that the problems have been solved, in unexpected ways often. I hear you that it doesn't always happen fast enough, but don't give up.

 

Don't give up on human help, either. Are you leaning enough on friends, family and your support community? Often we feel that we have to handle everything ourselves, but that's not the case.

 

Hope things get better for you.

 

 

Well, uh, ahem, for a reply from a non-Christian that was a pretty Christian reply! ;)

 

Prayer has taken on a different place in my life lately, it seems like. I don't really see the point anymore of asking for things, trying to get God to do things the way I'd like. I got tired of that transactional nature of prayer. Now it's more just a letting go, similar to what you are describing -- "Your will be done," and "In your mercy," and "Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner." Rather than trying to choreograph my life anymore, I just want to be one with Him, and my prayers reflect this, I think.

 

:grouphug: (((Kim))) :grouphug:

Edited June 17, 2011 by milovaný

[WTMCassandra]

Yes, I have definitely been there, with situations too personal and grievous for me to post. And for Y-E-A-R-S. You have gotten some great advice so far (it has blessed me too!). I would only add that at these times I think of Jesus asking the disciples, "Will you leave me, too?" And I also remember their answer and echo it, "To whom would we go, Lord? *You* have the words of life!"

 

It comes down to me trusting God's character, intent toward me, and timing. It is NOT easy. Ever.

[meggie]

Yes, I have been there. Most of my life I have been there. While I was brought up LDS, we were a very much in word only type of family. I've struggled with depression A LOT. I've never had anything super horrible, but the worst things I've gone through is PPD after the birth of my second child and the divorce of my parents. I used to cry and cry and cry over how much I hurt and "Gosh darn it, if you love me, DO SOMETHING!"

 

A few months ago, I started thinking about how we are promised that if we lay our burdens at his feet, he will carry them for us (really tired and not thinking well, but Psalms 55:22 is kinda what I'm thinking, even though I think there's another better one). So I started praying, "God, I don't know exactly how to give you my burdens, but take them." It's not always complete, but there is a very noticeable difference.

 

I always think of the song Count Your Many Blessings.

 

When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed

And you are discouraged thinking all is lost;

Count your many blessings name them one by one

And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

 

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?

Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?

Count your many blessings; every doubt will fly

And you will be singing as the days go by.

 

And D&C 121. And the story of Job.

 

How I get passed it is by being thankful for everything I do have. And we are supposed to rely on Him no matter how bad it gets. I am so sorry things are so difficult for you now. I will really and truly pray that things can get better for you. But you are not alone :grouphug:

[sbgrace]

OP, yes I've been there. I am there. It's been years of hit after hit here.

 

There is a lot of wisdom on this thread.

 

 

Yes, I have definitely been there, with situations too personal and grievous for me to post. And for Y-E-A-R-S. You have gotten some great advice so far (it has blessed me too!). I would only add that at these times I think of Jesus asking the disciples, "Will you leave me, too?" And I also remember their answer and echo it, "To whom would we go, Lord? *You* have the words of life!"

 

It comes down to me trusting God's character, intent toward me, and timing. It is NOT easy. Ever.

 

This made me cry.

 

At a base level I think God cares about every detail of my life, my kids, my family but His primary focus is on the heart. The heart of my kids and husband. The heart of me. And the honest truth is sometimes the biggest heart growth comes in the pain and outright despair that life sometimes brings. And, of course, harm comes that way too but I trust God to care for hearts placed in His hands.

 

That said...I prefer the pain and harm to stop! I know God could stop it, could protect/prevent, could repair and so it's painful when it doesn't happen. I'm trying to let God change my earth eyes to heavenly ones because, right now, I see a lot of pain here.

 

It's been a while since I read it but I want to say "How People Change" actually meant a lot to me in the midst of the trials of the last few years. It's not particularly about that solely but it addressed it in a way that was meaningful and helpful.

 

I still pray the dark lifts in the present circumstances and assaults. I'll pray for you too. :grouphug:

[sewingmama]

Yes that is me right now. I literally can't pray anymore because I feel it's so pointless. I stopped praying because I just can't take the rejection I feel when I get ..nothing. All I ask is to feel supported through my trials but I get ...nothing.

 

If everything is God's will anyway then what is the point of praying for what you want - all you are going to get is what HE wants - and I figure that will happen whether I pray or not.

[Oakblossoms]

oh mamas:grouphug:

 

I have been there. The last 5 years have been a rollercoaster and we are falling of the tracks again.

 

God isn't going to change these things. But, I have someone to give my pain to.

 

But, oh how I would like for my dh to have a job again. How I would love him to be in his home again.

 

I feel that there is this purpose I should be here for. Am I suppose to do more?

[simka2]

There was a season when all I could pray was this little poem:

 

"Trust and rest when all around thee

Puts thy faith to sorest test;

Let no fear or foe confound thee,

Wait for God and trust and rest.

 

"Trust and rest with heart abiding,

Like a birdling in its nest,

Underneath His feathers hiding,

Fold thy wings and trust and rest."

I also took great comfort in this one:

 

"I'm too tired to trust and too tired to pray,

Said one, as the over-taxed strength gave way.

The one conscious thought by my mind possessed,

Is, oh, could I just drop it all and rest.

 

"Will God forgive me, do you suppose,

If I go right to sleep as a baby goes,

Without an asking if I may,

Without ever trying to trust and pray?

 

"Will God forgive you? why think, dear heart,

When language to you was an unknown art,

Did a mother deny you needed rest,

Or refuse to pillow your head on her breast?

 

"Did she let you want when you could not ask?

Did she set her child an unequal task?

Or did she cradle you in her arms,

And then guard your slumber against alarms?

 

"Ah, how quick was her mother love to see,

The unconscious yearnings of infancy.

When you've grown too tired to trust and pray,

When over-wrought nature has quite given way:

 

"Then just drop it all, and give up to rest,

As you used to do on a mother's breast,

He knows all about it--the dear Lord knows,

So just go to sleep as a baby goes;

 

"Without even asking if you may,

God knows when His child is too tired to pray.

He judges not solely by uttered prayer,

He knows when the yearnings of love are there.

 

"He knows you do pray, He knows you do trust,

And He knows, too, the limits' of poor weak dust.

Oh, the wonderful sympathy of Christ,

For His chosen ones in that midnight tryst,

 

"When He bade them sleep and take their rest,

While on Him the guilt of the whole world pressed--

You've given your life up to Him to keep,

Then don't be afraid to go right to sleep."

[asta]

{here come the tomatoes}

 

 

There are a lot of "I"s and "Me"s in this thread.

 

How about: "Thy will be done." ?

 

If it (problem, situation, etc.) is beyond human hands, it is certainly beyond "I" and "Me".

 

 

{more tomatoes}

 

 

One could reasonably assume that an 8 year old kid, being told he was the son of God and that he was going to die a gruesome death in +/- 30 years did a lot of praying for it not to happen. And that not one of those prayers were answered in his favor.

 

Think of the ever present bumper sticker: "WWJD". Well, he hung on a cross, praying to God not to die while the people around him mocked him, stripped him, stabbed him, watched him thirst, and left him to suffocate.

 

 

Not everything is personal: some things just are. They hurt, they are damaging, destructive - devastating. But as people who believe that this life is just a stop en route to an eternal life - "from dust I made you, and to dust you shall return" - there weren't any guarantees of happiness or petition answering in that part. The only guarantee was for what would come afterwards.

 

That is what faith is - making the decision to trust that the plan will work, but understanding that one must play one's own role.

 

 

 

(with apologies to my priest whose homily I just co-opted in a mangled manner)

 

a

[Heather in Neverland]

{here come the tomatoes}

 

 

There are a lot of "I"s and "Me"s in this thread.

 

How about: "Thy will be done." ?

 

If it (problem, situation, etc.) is beyond human hands, it is certainly beyond "I" and "Me".

 

 

{more tomatoes}

 

 

One could reasonably assume that an 8 year old kid, being told he was the son of God and that he was going to die a gruesome death in +/- 30 years did a lot of praying for it not to happen. And that not one of those prayers were answered in his favor.

 

Think of the ever present bumper sticker: "WWJD". Well, he hung on a cross, praying to God not to die while the people around him mocked him, stripped him, stabbed him, watched him thirst, and left him to suffocate.

 

 

Not everything is personal: some things just are. They hurt, they are damaging, destructive - devastating. But as people who believe that this life is just a stop en route to an eternal life - "from dust I made you, and to dust you shall return" - there weren't any guarantees of happiness or petition answering in that part. The only guarantee was for what would come afterwards.

 

That is what faith is - making the decision to trust that the plan will work, but understanding that one must play one's own role.

 

 

 

(with apologies to my priest whose homily I just co-opted in a mangled manner)

 

a

 

EXCELLENT post. I totally agree. This is one of the biggest problems I have with prosperity gospel preachers... this idea that if you believe in Jesus your life is going to be perfect.

 

Even the Apostle Paul prayed that God would remove the thorn in his side and God did not. Why? "My grace is sufficient."

 

If the problems in life never go away... if the pain never ends... if things never go the way I wish they would... will I still praise Him?

Will I still love Him? Glorify Him? Trust Him?

 

Or is he only my God when He does what I ask? Anyone can love a God who makes their life easy. Trusting Him when life is painful... that is faith.

 

"I will stumble. I will fall down. But I will not be moved."

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Rhonda in TX]

I've been there. Not with financial worries, but a family member being in legal trouble that could have meant a 20 year+ prison sentence. It was horrible. It went on for more than 2 years and I cannot count the number of hours I spent begging and pleading with God.

 

My prayers were eventually answered in a good way, but I know that doesn't always happen. Those 2 years were the longest of my life, but I came out of it knowing that God is my strength. If I had not had Him to lean on, I don't know what I would have done.

 

I'm sorry you are going through such a hard time. I wish I had the right words to make it better.

[Onceuponatime]

I'm not a Christian, but this is the method I find helpful.

 

I've stopped looking for "specific" answers/fixes to problems I am having. Instead, I start each morning by putting the things I feel incomplete about - i.e. my "problems" on an imaginary altar in my mind. I just give them to (God) with no expectations. Even if the same problem persists, I put it on that altar every day. Sometimes I visualize wrapping the problem up in a burlap sack and leaving it by the side of the road.

 

In either case it is the act of separating myself from the problems - of saying "here - I can't deal with them. I need help." that I find helpful.

 

I have been surprised by the number of times I've found that the problems have been solved, in unexpected ways often. I hear you that it doesn't always happen fast enough, but don't give up.

 

.

 

I highly recommend this. I began to do something similar years ago when I had ppd with anxiety attacks. It was of more help than the medication I was on. One thing I also did was to plan one "victory" a day, even if it was just getting a load of laundry done. The funny thing was that once I began doing that, I began to experience multiple victories without much effort. What I was doing was conditioning my mind to stop dwelling on the negative.

 

That doesn't mean that the problems will automatically go away, but somehow their magnitude shrinks until they don't have the power over me that they once did.

 

Now my own theological spin- The Bible says our bodies are the temple of God, he lives inside us when we accept him. I believe that too often we look for the God outside ourselves for strength, answers, and fixes. He isn't there, he is inside waiting for us to release the "gods" that fill our thoughts so that he can get to work. That work isn't necessarily to give us the life that we want, but to give us peace in the midst of trials.

[G5052]

For us it is years and years of medical problems in a family member and four years of long-distance eldercare issues. We've gone to all of the major medical centers and see some of the top doctors in the country, and there is no cure. Last summer there were four surgeries that helped, but every day is a gift. Now the person with the medical problems has Lyme disease. And my relative with the eldercare issuses will go into hospice any day. And of course we've been praying for years for healing and that my elderly relative turn around (they almost put her in the state mental hospital last fall), but our world is sin-cursed and we have to trust that God can help us through the ugliness, but he doesn't always take it away.

 

And honestly I just live one day at a time, as imperfect as I am. I don't look too far ahead, and I'm don't worry about what I can't influence myself. God will give me the daily strength I need for whatever happens today.

[noah&emmasmommy]

I am there. I feel like I have spent the last year on my knees, even when I haven't been on my knees. Financially we have had the crappiest two years ever. The struggles with our oldest DD this last year have been taxing beyond belief. I thought we finally had come to a place where things would be looking up. And then it all starts to fall again.

 

I feel like He isn't listening, no matter what I say, how I say it, just not listening. I feel like I pour out my heart and soul, all the worries and fears and stress every single day and I never get any sort of comfort or guidence. The stress is killing me, the depression is a daily battle, our family is starting to fall apart again and I felt like we were finally on the right track.

 

I know that our prayers aren't answered the way we want sometimes but give me a freakin' break already. I am ready to beg, plead, bargin, whatever I have to do. Something has got to give or it will be my sanity.

 

I feel like my faith has been tested non-stop for 2 years and as of today it doesn't look like it is going to end. I am so tired of it all. I don't want life to be easy, I know we have to have struggles to grow....

 

Am I the only person who has been at this crazy point? The only one who wants to just throw the towel in (as in faith, nothing more!)?

 

Boy its been a bad day.

 

:grouphug: I am sending you some hugs. I have felt this way many times. I know that God promises to hear our prayers, and you are right about the answer- it isn't always what we want. But I also know that my life is very small compared to the spectrum of eternity. If I am going through struggles, it is so that my testimony would bring glory to God's power, faithfulness and provision. I feel as though I am begging in my prayers as well. The Bible tells us to "pray without ceasing". I think these times we go through are to build character, integrity, and so that we might be able to minister to others in their time of need.

Does it make the difficult times any easier? Of course not. But I try to rest in the fact that my God is a very big God, and I am to come humbly before Him with any and all requests, but also with thanksgiving and praise. I really struggle with bitterness in my heart. And I was just praying recently, again, for forgiveness to take hold in my heart. We just have to try and remember that sometimes, these difficult feelings and experiences are going to last a longer time than is comfortable for us. But when we keep our eyes on God, He will deliver us in our hour of need. Even if I feel as though my hour of need was three years ago, I also see, that as a child who needs to be chastised and disciplined, there is a "time-out" period that I must go through in order to "learn my lesson" so to speak.

I also know that God loves me more than I can ever fathom, and it is not His desire to see me suffer in any way. I also think that's why the Bible tells us to be thankful for the suffering because it is in that He is glorified.

It is very difficult to keep focused on eternity, but honestly, it's the only perspective sometimes that can get us through.

Blessings to you, and stay close to God. HE IS WITH YOU. ;)

[Peela]

I pray too as a non Christian, but also feel that prayers, while always heard and answered in some way, are not always answered in the direct way we might like.

I like Asta's response- Thy Will Be Done is foundational.

God isn't a wish fulfilling tree.

Life can be really, really hard. And sometimes we make it harder than it needs to be by our actions and our attitude. Thats the bit we can work on- our response to the circumstances we are dealt with. If it were as easy as praying and getting what we want, our hearts would not be polished.

But...all that Im sure you know and you probably still need :grouphug:

[Teachin'Mine]

:grouphug: Yes I've been there too.

 

We've recently watch Facing the Giants. I was struck by how faith seemed to be equated with things going well, all for God's glory of course. It's so different from how I see things. If I were to make a comparison, I'd easily come to the conclusion that I'm doing something horribly wrong and my prayers aren't being answered. And I have thought that way in the past. But today I see suffering as more than just part of life. I see it as a gift. If I just suffer for the sake of suffering, it's meaningless and horrible. But if I suffer and unite that suffering with Jesus' suffering on the cross, and offer it to God, then it has meaning and becomes more bearable. Of course I still pray hoping for prayers to be answered, but I know that answer may be no, or not yet, or I've got something else planned, and sometimes I still get very frustrated.

 

But I do know how you feel and have shared that feeling. It's such a hard place to be. I think it's okay to just take a break and let others pray for you for a while. :grouphug:

 

This may seem trite, but I really liked the analogy when I read it. Our life is like a huge tapestry. We look up at the underside of it and see all the knots tied, the loops of thread that got tangled, and it's so hard to see the picture. But if we were to see it from above, it's a beautiful tapestry perfect in design and beauty. IOW God has a plan. :grouphug:

[Beth in Mint Hill]

There are soooo many moms feeling this way everywhere. Especially those with one year olds. I can still vividly remember the days when my boys were that age and my husband was out of work for over a year with a ruptured disc. He was prescribed addictive pain meds without a warning and -- the baby wouldn't ever sleep through the night, etc. etc.

 

Hang on, though, just when you think the tunnel can't get any darker, suddenly you will be standing in the light!

 

Funny. There is a line from TS Eliot's Four Quartets that comes to mind:

 

... I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope

 

For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love

 

For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith

 

But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.

 

Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:

 

So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing..."

 

 

If you would like a good book to read, try The Sacred Romance by Brent Curtis & John Eldredge.

 

I will pray for you. Perhaps you just need to be still and wait.

[Quiver0f10]

:grouphug: Have you heard this

? It's an encouragement to me at these times.

[texasmama]

:grouphug: Have you heard this

? It's an encouragement to me at these times.

 

I love this song.

 

When my soul is grieved, the thing that speaks to me is music. I just reread Elie Wiesel's Night, his account of living through the Holocaust.

 

Anne Lamott says that the two best prayers are "Help me, help me, help me" and "Thank you, thank you, thank you." (Hope I have that right - it is approximately right, anyway. ;)) Right now I am at "Help me, help me, help me".:grouphug:

[Halftime Hope]

:grouphug: Have you heard this

? It's an encouragement to me at these times.

 

I'm sitting here at my keyboard with tears. Quiver, this song is just precious. Your link lead me to the story behind the song, which is at

 

 

 

Toward the end of her story, she uses an analogy that is just wonderful, not to be missed.

[Quiver0f10]

I'm sitting here at my keyboard with tears. Quiver, this song is just precious. Your link lead me to the story behind the song, which is at

 

 

 

Toward the end of her story, she uses an analogy that is just wonderful, not to be missed.

 

 

Thanks for linking this. Her story is such an encouragement to me too!

[Kari C in SC]

Well, uh, ahem, for a reply from a non-Christian that was a pretty Christian reply! ;)

 

Prayer has taken on a different place in my life lately, it seems like. I don't really see the point anymore of asking for things, trying to get God to do things the way I'd like. I got tired of that transactional nature of prayer. Now it's more just a letting go, similar to what you are describing -- "Your will be done," and "In your mercy," and "Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner." Rather than trying to choreograph my life anymore, I just want to be one with Him, and my prayers reflect this, I think.

 

:grouphug: (((Kim))) :grouphug:

 

:iagree: This would describe me. I feel different about prayer since my oldest son's death. I used to pray specifically for things and sometimes out of habit I still do. When I am specifically concentrating on prayer (not the popcorn prayers that pop in and out), I pray just to take "this" God, whatever "this" might be. And I give prayers of thanks. I can't believe that prayer changes what God had set forth anymore. If I believed that, then it would be like saying I didn't pray hard enough for my son's safety. I prayed for him constantly while he was in Iraq and not nearly as much as he was home. As a grieving parent, I could easily fall into the guilt that I didn't keep praying for his safety and that my prayers didn't protect him from a car accident. I have to make a precise choice to change the way I pray because I know somewhere deep down that my prayers couldn't and wouldn't have changed the outcome. So, I pray for that whatever God has for me, that I can do my best with it.

[texasmama]

I feel different about prayer since my oldest son's death. I used to pray specifically for things and sometimes out of habit I still do. When I am specifically concentrating on prayer (not the popcorn prayers that pop in and out), I pray just to take "this" God, whatever "this" might be. And I give prayers of thanks. I can't believe that prayer changes what God had set forth anymore. If I believed that, then it would be like saying I didn't pray hard enough for my son's safety. I prayed for him constantly while he was in Iraq and not nearly as much as he was home. As a grieving parent, I could easily fall into the guilt that I didn't keep praying for his safety and that my prayers didn't protect him from a car accident. I have to make a precise choice to change the way I pray because I know somewhere deep down that my prayers couldn't and wouldn't have changed the outcome. So, I pray for that whatever God has for me, that I can do my best with it.

 

:grouphug: Thank you for sharing this. It really resonates with me.:grouphug:

[Kari C in SC]

{here come the tomatoes}

 

 

There are a lot of "I"s and "Me"s in this thread.

 

How about: "Thy will be done." ?

 

If it (problem, situation, etc.) is beyond human hands, it is certainly beyond "I" and "Me".

 

 

{more tomatoes}

 

 

One could reasonably assume that an 8 year old kid, being told he was the son of God and that he was going to die a gruesome death in +/- 30 years did a lot of praying for it not to happen. And that not one of those prayers were answered in his favor.

 

Think of the ever present bumper sticker: "WWJD". Well, he hung on a cross, praying to God not to die while the people around him mocked him, stripped him, stabbed him, watched him thirst, and left him to suffocate.

 

 

Not everything is personal: some things just are. They hurt, they are damaging, destructive - devastating. But as people who believe that this life is just a stop en route to an eternal life - "from dust I made you, and to dust you shall return" - there weren't any guarantees of happiness or petition answering in that part. The only guarantee was for what would come afterwards.

 

That is what faith is - making the decision to trust that the plan will work, but understanding that one must play one's own role.

 

 

 

(with apologies to my priest whose homily I just co-opted in a mangled manner)

 

a

 

Very well written. Absolutely agree. Thank you for sharing.

[asta]

Very well written. Absolutely agree. Thank you for sharing.

 

It's just good to hear from you Kari. I've been thinking about you. :grouphug:

 

 

a

[Carol in Cal.]

Romans 11:33ff--

Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!

How unsearchable his judgments,

and his paths beyond tracing out!

34 “Who has known the mind of the Lord?

Or who has been his counselor?â€[j]

35 “Who has ever given to God,

that God should repay them?â€[k]

36 For from him and through him and for him are all things.

To him be the glory forever! Amen.

 

:grouphug:

[Carol in Cal.]

6 Then the LORD spoke to Job out of the storm:

 

7 “Brace yourself like a man;

I will question you,

and you shall answer me.

 

8 “Would you discredit my justice?

Would you condemn me to justify yourself?

9 Do you have an arm like God’s,

and can your voice thunder like his?

10 Then adorn yourself with glory and splendor,

and clothe yourself in honor and majesty.

11 Unleash the fury of your wrath,

look at all who are proud and bring them low,

12 look at all who are proud and humble them,

crush the wicked where they stand.

13 Bury them all in the dust together;

shroud their faces in the grave.

14 Then I myself will admit to you

that your own right hand can save you.

[Carol in Cal.]

I am there. I feel like I have spent the last year on my knees, even when I haven't been on my knees. Financially we have had the crappiest two years ever. The struggles with our oldest DD this last year have been taxing beyond belief. I thought we finally had come to a place where things would be looking up. And then it all starts to fall again.

 

I feel like He isn't listening, no matter what I say, how I say it, just not listening. I feel like I pour out my heart and soul, all the worries and fears and stress every single day and I never get any sort of comfort or guidence. The stress is killing me, the depression is a daily battle, our family is starting to fall apart again and I felt like we were finally on the right track.

 

I know that our prayers aren't answered the way we want sometimes but give me a freakin' break already. I am ready to beg, plead, bargin, whatever I have to do. Something has got to give or it will be my sanity.

 

I feel like my faith has been tested non-stop for 2 years and as of today it doesn't look like it is going to end. I am so tired of it all. I don't want life to be easy, I know we have to have struggles to grow....

 

Am I the only person who has been at this crazy point? The only one who wants to just throw the towel in (as in faith, nothing more!)?

 

Boy its been a bad day.

 

I'm so sorry.

We can have faith in God, but we have to rest in what He has actually promised. Not what we want Him to promise. He has promised strength for our times, not easy times. He has promised that we will understand clearly one day, not that we will do so right now. He can and does bring some good out of everything, but we may never know what that good is. Faith is belief AND trust in Him. I'm sorry things are so so so hard. I don't blame you for being tired. Pray for faith, and I will pray for faith for you as well.

[Kathleen in VA]

This is an awesome thread - so very encouraging. Many of the posts have brought tears to my eyes. There is much wisdom among these dear ladies.

 

Just wanted to add a few thoughts.

 

Yes, I have gone through some very deep waters where I thought God was not listening. Looking back on those times I'm not sure I could or would do anything differently because that's just where I was at the time. But I am kind of ashamed of myself for not trusting Him more. No huge regrets - just feeling like I would have fared so much better if I had competely trusted Him, no questions asked.

 

Also, I think a lot of us (me, included) have gotten a strange notion that life should go well most of the time with only a few bumps and bruises along the way. I think perhaps because we live in a time of history when the standard of living is at an all time high we have lost perspective. We've gotten used to living this way and it seems unfair and not right when things get really tough (and I'm not just talking about money). Like the pp who said she reads "Night" by Elie Weisel (sp?), I often bring to mind people like Corrie ten Boom and Esther Hautzig (The Endless Steppe) to remind myself that I truly have no problems. Betsie ten Boom is such a wonderful example of someone who could find a reason to praise God no matter what happened to her - she praised him for the lice in the concentration camp mattresses because they kept the guards away long enough for them to have a Bible study. Wow.

 

And, I also try to remember why we are here in the first place - to bring glory to God. We are not here for ourselves. As Christians, we have died with Christ - our thoughts should be on heavenly things. We are only passing through as pilgrims. Satan's first victory was when he was able to get Adam and Eve to question the goodness of God. They fell for it. That, alone, gives me extra resolve not to let him pull the same trick on me. God is good all the time. He is good when circumstances don't lead me to believe that. He is good when I've lost everything. He is good when I lose loved ones. He is good all. the. time.

 

This is a fallen world - we will never be competely happy or satisfied here. If we ever get to a place where all is right, we still have to come to terms with our own mortality. It won't last. We will take our last breath and meet eternity. The main thing about life here is not being happy or even having our "needs" met - it is about giving God glory. He gets the most glory when we declare His goodness at our darkest moments. When we affirm His goodness by our actions and speech during our most trying days, He is lifted up for all to see and to worship.

 

This hymn has been a favorite when I lose sight of all the stuff I just said (which is all too often, I'm afraid):

 

Be Still, My Soul

By: Catharina von Schlegel

 

Be still, my soul; the Lord is on your side;

Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;

Leave to your God to order and provide;

In every change he faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul; your best, your heavenly Friend

Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

 

 

Be still, my soul; your God will undertake

To guide the future as he has the past.

Your hope, your confidence let nothing shake;

All now mysterious shall be bright at last.

Be still, my soul; the waves and wind still know

His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.

 

 

Be still, my soul; though dearest friends depart

And all is darkened in the vale of tears;

Then you will better know his love, his heart,

Who comes to soothe your sorrows and your fears.

Be still, my soul; your Jesus can repay

From his own fullness all he takes away.

 

 

Be still, my soul; the hour is hastening on

When we shall be forever with the Lord,

When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,

Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.

Be still, my soul; when change and tears are past,

All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

I haven't read all of the replies but I want you to know you are not alone. I have been where you are and not that long ago. These days I am living through grace and that's it.

 

:grouphug:

[justamouse]

I have totally felt that way. :grouphug::grouphug: Sometimes just praying for the grace to get through-just the help me be bent to this. Reading the mystics helps me.

[TracieT]

We tried to get pregnant for 5 years. That was 5 years of me PLEADING with God for a baby. Laying flat on my face on the floor sobbing, begging. I can't say I ever thought God wasn't listening. I did want to know WHY He wasn't answering. I told Him I was very angry with Him.

 

Finally, at Mother's Day of 2005 I gave up. Not on God, but on trying to get what I wanted. I told God "I am finished with this. I can't do it any more. I am tired, I am sad, I'm sick of the whole thing. It's YOURS, God. Take it from me. I want whatever it is YOU want for me. If that means never to be a mommy, fine. I just don't want to deal with it any more. Do what You want." I found instant peace. I enjoyed my husband for the first time in years. I felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders because I'd given the weight to God. Truly given it to Him this time....not said I wanted Him to take it and then kept trying to make things happen my way. I truly felt that I wanted whatever God had for me.

 

Less than 2 months later I was having lunch with a new friend and she said "Have you guys considered adoption?" I said "Well, we've talked about it, but not looked into it." She proceeded to tell me about a situation she knew of. I blew her off. Stupid me...blind to the fact that God was trying to hand me a baby! My friend kept bugging me and I finally mentioned it to dh and he wanted to go for it. Less than 4 months after that our first son was born. Less than a year later his brother came along. (same birth mom)

 

I truly believe once I truly asked God for HIS WILL to be done, He said "That's what I've been waiting for. This is where I wanted you." It wasn't about my pleading and begging. It was about wanting God's will to be done. I am NOT saying that's easy. I had to be completely broken to get to that point. But it will be a lifelong reminder to me that it's not about what I want, it's about what God wants. And that sometimes He wants something even better than I could have dreamed of.

[caitlinsmom]

Thank you everyone! There are too many great thoughts shared in this thread to quote them all, but thank you all. You have no idea how much I needed to hear these words, all of them (even yours Asta, no tomatoes from me!).

 

You have quoted some of my favorite songs, poems, and bible verses. I will have this to ponder all day, and for today that is a small comfort.

[Susan in TN]

Yes. Absolutely. I have found that when I am struggling, praying from the Psalms and The Valley of Vision (Puritan prayers) are the most helpful.

[laughing lioness]

I've felt that way.

Years ago I was reading "Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire" by Jim Cymbala and as I read these words, "God loves it when we come to him in weakness" (not exact but something like that). I bawled and bawled. I have been comforted by that thought ever since. when I am most weak is when He loves for me to seek Him out.

 

5 yrs ago my dh was very unfairly, illlegally forced to resign with NO warning (we went from a decent income to non in a matter of hours with no unemployment benefits -7 people at home). It was 2 years before we were stable again and really only since the fire that we've fully "recovered" (1/2 of our house is still unfinished). I remember waking up one morning during the worst of it all with the phrase, "Hold fast, help is on the way!" with the image of the old guy in Master in Commander (you know the guy with "hold fast" on his knuckles, getting brain surgery on deck?). This also gave me great comfort.

 

Jer 29:11 says God has good plans for you. But there is more. We have to seek him with all that we are.

His answers will dumbfound you. Looking back you will see how much he was training and guiding you and burning off the dross. You are precious to Him. He loves you.

I am praying for you today.