RIGHT after I said it, I knew I was in for it lol.

[NanceXToo]

I walked into the bathroom and saw an unwrapped (and unused, don't worry lol) tampon sitting outside of the box on top of the toilet tank. An unwrapped (and unused, don't worry :P) pad was lying on the floor.

 

I stand there for a moment, confused, and then turn around and eyeball my 5 year old son who is in the doorway looking at me all innocently.

 

"Ben, did you open those?" I ask him.

 

He puts his hand over his mouth and giggles.

 

"Ben, WHY did you open that?" I ask him instead.

 

"Because... I wanted to know what it was."

 

Without thinking, I said, "Please don't touch my things. If you wanted to know what it was, you should have just asked me."

 

He immediately took me up on my offer and said: "Okay. So what is it?"

 

Me: "Uh.... Er... Well... Um....It's... When a girl... Well... Um...."

 

Yep. Right after I said it, I knew he was going to take me up on it, and I wasn't at all prepared for that. I needed time to think darn it, to figure out how to explain it to a five year old boy in a way that was truthful and made some sense but was not overly detailed.

 

I'm not even sure what I said in the end. I'm sure it was sort of bumbling and probably made very little sense to him. For some unfathomable reason whatever explanation I got out satisfied him, though.

 

And then my 10 year old said, "I've never seen what the inside of a tampon looks like, can I see it?" So I used the one he opened to show her how you get it out of the applicator and what it looks like and so on.

 

Yeah, uh, we're going back to watching Liberty's Kids now. American History is MUCH easier than periods.

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

:svengo: Oh my.. :grouphug:

 

 

 

 

(ducking as I) :lol:

[Rosie_0801]

Well I can sit here and smirk, can't I? I've got all that ahead of me!

 

Rosie

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

:lol: Once I bled through all my layers and my son then 3 saw my "owiw" on my but and kissed it better :ack2:

 

My sons have NO sense of boundaries. They walk in on me on the potty all the time (lock is broken.) I've just said that "sometimes Mommy needs a special diaper," and thankfully ds4 hasn't decided that he should have "special diapers," too.

[SweetBean]

:lol:

[Parrothead]

Oh, my! :lol:

[~Kirsten~]

:lol: Once I bled through all my layers and my son then 3 saw my "owiw" on my but and kissed it better :ack2:

 

My sons have NO sense of boundaries. They walk in on me on the potty all the time (lock is broken.) I've just said that "sometimes Mommy needs a special diaper," and thankfully ds4 hasn't decided that he should have "special diapers," too.

 

:lol: Yikes about the kissing it better! :lol:

 

I call it a special bandaid, which makes me feel better than diaper! :D I think my explanation went something like, if a woman isn't going to have a baby, she has some extra blood that doesn't hurt (crucial for my blood-phobic one), and these are like bandaids for my panties.

 

Glad you both survived the conversation, though! :001_smile:

[Margo out of lurking]

I'm not even sure what I said in the end. I'm sure it was sort of bumbling and probably made very little sense to him. For some unfathomable reason whatever explanation I got out satisfied him, though.

 

 

After years of telling my ds, "It's something for grownups," I was more specific. I think I traumatized him, as he clearly erased all such information from his brain and asked me again a few weeks later.:D

[nukeswife]

:lol: Yikes about the kissing it better! :lol:

 

I call it a special bandaid, which makes me feel better than diaper! :D I think my explanation went something like, if a woman isn't going to have a baby, she has some extra blood that doesn't hurt (crucial for my blood-phobic one), and these are like bandaids for my panties.

 

Glad you both survived the conversation, though! :001_smile:

 

I use the "Special Bandaid" approach too.

[bry's-gal]

Special band-aid- that is great! I'm going to remember that one!

 

:lol:

[Satori]

:lol: to all the stories here!

[Virg]

I was a single mom for a long time and my boys just couldn't be far from me at any point. :glare: I tried to keep it under wraps, even though they always walked in on me in the bathroom. I thought I did a pretty good job until the day I ran out of tampons in my bathroom and asked one DS to run and get the pink little zip-bag out of my car. He brought back a tampon from inside of it. I was shocked and said, "Honey that isn't what I asked for!" He said, "Well I knew you just really needed a tampon from in the bag for your period."

 

I guess they will be helpful to their wives?

[QueenCat]

 

Yep. Right after I said it, I knew he was going to take me up on it, and I wasn't at all prepared for that. I needed time to think darn it, to figure out how to explain it to a five year old boy in a way that was truthful and made some sense but was not overly detailed.

.

 

:lol::lol:Thanks for tonight's laugh.

[actuary]

:lol:

 

This reminds me of when vi@gra was first being marketed and commercials were being aired on tv. I turned to my dad after one of the commercials and asked, "so what exactly does that medicine do?"

 

He was mortified...he and I never ever talked about that type of stuff - but I had no idea that it was anything but a completely innocent question! He just said with a red face "We're not going to talk about it."

 

So I went and asked my mom...unfortunately she does not get embarassed at all and gave me a way too detailed explanation! I had just figured it was for cholesterol or something :lol:

[LBS]

When my friend's daughter first got the minimal amount of birds n bees stuff, appropriate for her age of 4-5 at the time. Fascinated with the path the baby takes to be born, she couldn't stop talking about it. Sitting in a church event, a heavily pregnant lady next to her, bent over to help her other child, with her back (and bottom) close to Jessica. SO, she shouts into the lady's backside: "Hello in there, baby! When you comin' out?"

 

The one and only time my kids had any interest in my feminine products, was a whole box of tampons, all opened and pulled apart ($$) in the corner of the bathroom, the visiting teacher used. Dagnabbit!

[HappyGrace]

In our house when the dc were young we always called them "comfort pads for women" :)

 

They strangely did not question that, and I was glad to not have to explain at that time!

[BlessedMom]

:) :)

[justamouse]

:lol::lol:

 

 

 

you stuff it in your nose when you get a nosebleed. :001_smile:

[Terabith]

"Every month a woman's body makes a nest so it will be all ready to have a cozy spot for a baby to grow. But if there isn't a baby growing in the Mommy that month, her body cleans it all out. And instead of twigs and grasses like mommy birds make their nests out of, people babies need soft tissue with lots of blood so the baby will have food to eat, because there isn't a yolk in people eggs for them to use. If the nest doesn't get used to grow a baby, it gets cleaned out by flowing out of the woman's v*ina, which is the way the babies get out. So I put this in to catch the blood so it won't make a mess."

 

Of course, my then 2 year old went around asking people if they were going to use their nest that month........

[Belacqua]

:lol::lol:

 

 

 

you stuff it in your nose when you get a nosebleed. :001_smile:

 

My husband used to coach a contact sport, so he always had a box of tampons around just for nosebleeds. My son was quite shocked to discover that they have another purpose.

[MyBlueLobsters]

My oldest son, when he was 8, said-as he was looking at a box of tampons "I know what you use these for" I said "Really? What are they?" He replies "You stick them up your butt so you don't get poop stains on your underwear" :001_huh: I was driving and almost wrecked the car..... :lol:

[MrsBasil]

Special band-aid- that is great! I'm going to remember that one!

 

:lol:

 

Special band-aid would have been great. My DS has always followed me into the bathroom, so when I was having my period he'd watch me change pads and so on. He always looked so confused and finally declared them "Mama's diapers."

 

OK, fine. He wasn't much of a talker at the time and I was happy he said something unprompted and that he thought of by himself so I agreed with him.

 

The next time we went to the store we went down the aisle that holds, among other things, pads. He grabs a pack and waved it over his head yelling, "Mama diapers. Mama need diapers". He was so proud of himself for helping me shop. :001_huh:

 

Later he got into a pack, took off his pants(which I didn't he could do at the time), attached one to his pants, and proudly told DH he was wearing Mama diapers.

 

I put the pack up much higher... the next month he learned to climb up higher than he had before, because by then he was obsessed with stickers and wanted to use "Mama sticker diapers!"

 

.....I try to go to the bathroom without him now. :banghead:

[PollyOR]

:smilielol5:Ladies, you have made my evening.

[Cindyg]

OK. When mine was that little and asked about pads, I told him it was something a lady wears to keep her underwear clean. Simple and true. Happily, he didn't ask about tampons.

[MeaganS]

My daughter (almost 3) thinks they are cheese sticks and says so. "Mommy's cheese stick!"

[Remudamom]

Ha! My young son was watching his dad shave one morning, saw some tampons and said "Dad, what are those for?" Dad looked him straight in the eye and replied "I have NO idea."

[staceyobu]

My oldest son, when he was 8, said-as he was looking at a box of tampons "I know what you use these for" I said "Really? What are they?" He replies "You stick them up your butt so you don't get poop stains on your underwear" :001_huh: I was driving and almost wrecked the car..... :lol:

 

Ha! My young son was watching his dad shave one morning, saw some tampons and said "Dad, what are those for?" Dad looked him straight in the eye and replied "I have NO idea."

 

:lol::lol::lol:

 

I just hate when we go to a public restroom and one of the young ones start asking "what is that thing in your underwear?" loudly over and over again.

[venusmom]

ok...I had a story like some of these - I am seriously laughing here - but my now 18 year old, when he was about 18 months, was sitting in the grocery cart. I opened my purse and took out my checkbook to pay for my groceries (pre-debit card you know) - he rummaged quietly and I was unaware - until he held up a tampon and waved it around for everyone else in line to see asking "what's this, mommy?" :blush:

[mazakaal]

All of these stories have me :lol::lol::lol:, but I didn't even know there was another use for tampons.

 

My husband used to coach a contact sport, so he always had a box of tampons around just for nosebleeds. My son was quite shocked to discover that they have another purpose.

[Liz CA]

My ds would have repeated the "diaper thing" at the most inopportune moment, for example at the Thanksgiving table with the entire family assembled. I had to say it rather bluntly and mention in the same sentence that one does not go around talking about it with other people, especially not at the dinner table...:tongue_smilie:

[asta]

ROCKETS!

 

You hold the front end, hit the plunger, and watch them fly! Just ask my (then) 3 year old.

 

 

(I had to break that bad habit before he broke the bank...)

 

 

a

[specialmama]

ROCKETS!

 

You hold the front end, hit the plunger, and watch them fly! Just ask my (then) 3 year old.

 

 

(I had to break that bad habit before he broke the bank...)

 

 

a

 

Asta, I'm dying over here! :smilielol5:

 

I've never told anyone this story. I still get insanely embarassed about it... but since we're all sharing...

 

When my dd was 4 she was helping me fold laundry in one room while my son and his therapist (psychologist) were in the adjacent room. She grabbed a pair of my stained (but just washed) pair of granny underwear which I have reserved for just those times. She gasped in horror at the sight of the stain, then with her hand over her mouth she sighed deeply and began to pat me on the shoulder. "There, there, mommy. I won't tell anyone you had a poop in your undies." I did not want to get into how it was old blood, so I just nodded and said "thank you dear, that is really sweet of you." Lo and behold, when the in-laws visited shortly after, my dear sweet girl ran up to her grandmother and exclaimed "YiaYia! YiaYia! (brother's name) isn't the only one who poops his pants! Sometimes mommy does too!" :eek:

Umm....

ya...

that's it.

Kill me now please. :leaving:

[Mom-ninja.]

Just last month my 2 yr old walked in on me in the bathroom. He turned around, got a band-aid (a real one), handed it to me, and said, "Mama, ouch." You gotta love a two yr old full of empathy.

 

Let's see when my oldest was three when this happened. We were at a LLL meeting at the Leader's house. My ds was in the kids' room playing. He had gone into the bathroom with another 3 yr old boy and they found a box of pads. The Leader found them and saw that they had decorated her bathroom walls with the entire box. They said they hung up the airplanes.

 

I have a picture of my other ds, around 2 or 3, with panty liners stuck all over his body. I have evil intentions with that picture.

[specialmama]

ohmygoodness. Somebody better post something else or I'm never coming back here... please don't let me kill this thread... :willy_nilly::svengo::blush:

 

ETA: OH THANK GOD someone posted as I was searching for appropriate smilies! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU KH!

[kolamum]

:lol: I made cloth ones. When my 4 year old asked I told him they were bum warmers. ;) Seriously, didn't buy it. Went running down the haul to the older brother screaming, "Mommy wears diapers!" :glare: :lol:

 

They've asked again so I responded with, "It's girl stuff." which bought me another year or two.. My latest response, "It's just girl stuff they need if they are ever going to have babies." ;)

[bookfiend]

My Mom had her tampons discretely tucked away in the back of the bottom, bathroom drawer, leaving me with the logical conclusion that these were forbidden items and highly desirable. I remember secretly showing them to my friends - unwrapping all of the various parts, the paper cover, the interlocking cardboard tubes, pulling apart the many layers, the string, puzzling what it could be.

 

Eventually, they became my secret source of craft cotton! Anytime I needed cotton for some creation, I would smuggle one out of the bathroom. I think I left the unused parts in the drawer; I wonder what my Mom ever thought about it (will need to ask her.) The whole thing was highly mysterious. I didn't learn about their true function until age 11ish when all the facts of womanhood were explained.

Edited June 10, 2011 by bookfiend

[lvbnhome]

Homeschooling...That's what it's all about! Great job...keeping it real :)

LOL

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

"Every month a woman's body makes a nest so it will be all ready to have a cozy spot for a baby to grow. But if there isn't a baby growing in the Mommy that month, her body cleans it all out. And instead of twigs and grasses like mommy birds make their nests out of, people babies need soft tissue with lots of blood so the baby will have food to eat, because there isn't a yolk in people eggs for them to use. If the nest doesn't get used to grow a baby, it gets cleaned out by flowing out of the woman's v*ina, which is the way the babies get out. So I put this in to catch the blood so it won't make a mess."

Of course, my then 2 year old went around asking people if they were going to use their nest that month........

 

:lol::smilielol5::smilielol5:

[Terabith]

She was VERY verbal. And, let's say, a wee bit obsessed with the human body in all of its aspects. By the time she hit 2, the "No, Mommy's not hurt; it's my period; it happens to grown up women," just was not cutting it anymore. (And no, I'm not exaggerating about her age; she's the child who - also at 2 -sat right next to the pastor and his microphone during the Children's Sermon when he talked about Communion and said LOUDLY, "I know! The bread becomes the Body of Jesus and then it goes down our esophagus and inot our tummies and our small intestines and then our large intestines, and then we poop out Jesus!")

 

She has developed a bit more tact since then. Not much though.

[GoVanGogh]

My son had just learned to read and was still in that slowly sounding out new words phase.

We were in the (busy!) bathroom at the library and he walked over to the feminine hygiene dispenser. In that loud 4-year-old boy voice, he said, "Mom, I know what a n...a...p.k...i.n... is, but I don't know what a t...a...m.p.o...n... is."

Giggles broke out from nearly every stall, then dead silence. The other ladies in the bathroom were obviously waiting to hear my answer, which ended up being a quick, "I'll tell you when we get home." Thankfully, he didn't remember the question by the time we got home.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

She was VERY verbal. And, let's say, a wee bit obsessed with the human body in all of its aspects. By the time she hit 2, the "No, Mommy's not hurt; it's my period; it happens to grown up women," just was not cutting it anymore. (And no, I'm not exaggerating about her age; she's the child who - also at 2 -sat right next to the pastor and his microphone during the Children's Sermon when he talked about Communion and said LOUDLY, "I know! The bread becomes the Body of Jesus and then it goes down our esophagus and inot our tummies and our small intestines and then our large intestines, and then we poop out Jesus!")

 

She has developed a bit more tact since then. Not much though.

 

:smilielol5::smilielol5: I'm crying over here! I laughed so hard my dh upstairs had to know what I was laughing at, and then he cracked up, too. :lol:

[AndyJoy]

:lol:

 

When I was 13 my dad left our car unlocked and my mini-backpack/purse was stolen out of it. Fortunately, the only thing in it was pads. Unfortunately, the 5 to 8-year-old neighbor boys down the street found them strewn all over along with my abandoned purse. As I tried to collect them, they followed me around and kept pestering me to tell them what they were. I was very embarrassed and did my best to deflect questions. Then one of the boys opened one up and said, "It's a little tiny diaper! Weird!" That seemed to satisfy them, though I'm not sure what they thought I used them for.:001_smile:

[Crissy]

When my cousins were very young their mom heard them making quite a bit of noise in her bedroom. When she went to investigate she found tampons all over the room and small piles of the applicators at the boys' feet.

When she asked what in the world they were doing, one was quite happy to tell her, "Look, Mom! We found a whole box of hand grenades in your bathroom!"

[endurancerider]

I always told my kids that they are "mommy band-aids". :)

[Melissa in Australia]

Not a child but an adult.

My Dh ( before I met him) spent many years backpacking around the world. One time he was with a few women and they were going through customs in China( ? I think it was China). Customs searched through their hand luggage and one of the girls had some tampons in her hand luggage. Apparently the tampons really mystified the customs guy. He held one up and studied it for a while, then unwrapped it, then went bright red, shoved everything back into the bag and let the lot of them through quick. My DH thought he must have thought they were plastic explosives or something.

[Haiku]

When I told my ds8 (who was 7 at the time) about periods, he was very worried that I would bleed to death. :D

 

Tara

[Annabel Lee]

My oldest son, when he was 8, said-as he was looking at a box of tampons "I know what you use these for" I said "Really? What are they?" He replies "You stick them up your butt so you don't get poop stains on your underwear" :001_huh: I was driving and almost wrecked the car..... :lol:

 

Oh dear. :001_huh: Glad you had the opportunity to clarify for him! :lol:

 

My daughter (almost 3) thinks they are cheese sticks and says so. "Mommy's cheese stick!"

 

:lol::lol::lol: ROTFLMBO!

[Dobela]

When my son was about 3 I opened my freezer and found my box of tampons. Accustomed at this point to finding things in weird places I just took them out and returned them to the bathroom cabinet. Later, during a playdate scheduled with our preacher's wife and her son, my son comes running out of the bathroom yelling, "Mommy, you cannot leave your special popcicles in the bathroom! Every time you do that they ruin and you throw them away! Put them back in the freezer so they are safe!"

 

I had a hysterectomy when he was 5. I just explained that my baby making parts were broken and needed to be taken out because they were making me sick. About the same time we also had 3 cats fixed. He seemed to take it in stride until he was about 7 and we adopted his baby sister. Just before one of her check up appointments he very solemly came to me asked, "This is not the appointment where they take out her baby making parts is it? I really want to be an uncle some day and need her to keep those."

[LBS]

Brilliant idea about using small tampons for nosebleeds. Brilliant! Wish I'd thought of that when I tucked a few into the Boy Scout first aid kit, not thinking anybody would get it out of my tent and go into it, since I usually do the medic work. SO, okay, I SENT the kid to go get the kit and use it and forgot. He never said anything. (It was menopause time so it was some of those huge monster tampons, that would not fit in an ogre's nose though, so I was busted no matter what.)

 

I have used the pads that have non-stick covers on wounds before, though. Emergency room doc admired one of those. They're really nice for flowing blood that needs pressure, like head wounds, or that need cleaning later, or stitching or gluing. They really soak up the blood and the non-stick cover does not adhere to the wound. Ouch!

[Kertie]

At least you have the excuse of not being ready for it.:D I knew it was coming because I was sewing cloth pads and it's the logical follow-up to the "what are those?" question. And after I explained it--all scientifically like I'd planned--ds said, "Cool." Then he looked at me and said, "Mom, I read that when someone's face is red, it means they're embarrassed. Are you embarrassed?" :blush: Sometimes you just can't win! :lol: