Giraffe Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 ... I'm lonely. I'm in Turkey - far away from anyone and everyone. DD is in Turkish preschool from 9am - 5pm. I have a housekeeper that I'm really not able to talk to much, certainly not about anything of import. We can talk about food and how the weekend was, etc. My Turkish is not good. DH is in the US, 8 time zones away, so my day is his night. Right now (12pm) it's 4am for him. I know I should get out, but that's not going to help me meet people. It's just going to make me outside and lonely. My SIL (cousin, technically, but she acts like DH's sister and DD's aunt) is busier than anyone expected. I don't want to pester her - one phone call a day to check in and see if she has any time for us and that's about it (she usually doesn't). I am supposed to be reading and knitting and going through the Writing Strands curriculum to brush up on my writing skills, but I'm too lonely to do anything. OK, I'm knitting, and I am reading some, but still - there's a lot of time in the day where I'm just staring out the window, drinking tea. I'm having a pity party, I know. I just didn't expect to feel this lonely. I need a hug. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Negin Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom0012 Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 :grouphug: How long will you be there? Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amira Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 I've never been quite as lonely as you sound, but I do know that it's hard to be where you're at. Is there something else you can find to work on, maybe something that will interest you more? Can you do more online socializing? Do you have a blog? That always helps me to both get out and do something so I don't look like the most boring person ever, and it provides some interaction with other people. I don't know that you really need advice, so just ignore the above if you do and take a hug instead. I hope you can get through this lonely part so you can enjoy Turkey again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 Can I ask what you are doing there and how long you will be there? Are there English speaking groups you can get involved with? Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 (edited) ... I'm lonely. I'm in Turkey - far away from anyone and everyone. DD is in Turkish preschool from 9am - 5pm. I have a housekeeper that I'm really not able to talk to much, certainly not about anything of import. We can talk about food and how the weekend was, etc. My Turkish is not good. DH is in the US, 8 time zones away, so my day is his night. Right now (12pm) it's 4am for him. I know I should get out, but that's not going to help me meet people. It's just going to make me outside and lonely. My SIL (cousin, technically, but she acts like DH's sister and DD's aunt) is busier than anyone expected. I don't want to pester her - one phone call a day to check in and see if she has any time for us and that's about it (she usually doesn't). I am supposed to be reading and knitting and going through the Writing Strands curriculum to brush up on my writing skills, but I'm too lonely to do anything. OK, I'm knitting, and I am reading some, but still - there's a lot of time in the day where I'm just staring out the window, drinking tea. I'm having a pity party, I know. I just didn't expect to feel this lonely. I need a hug. :grouphug::grouphug: You are going to be OK! Can you go to daily Mass? (I am just guessing you might want ot based on your signature). It sounds like you need a routine that gets you moving each day. Keep posting here. We'll keep you company! Edited June 6, 2011 by unsinkable Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 I'm sorry you are lonely. You have a large block of time everyday. If I were you I would try to find a local international moms group and plan to do a couple things a week with them. Then your time alone will be more productive because you will have stuff to look forward to. Another thing to look for is a local language group for yourself to work on improving fluency. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 That's a LONG preschool day. Can she come home to be with you instead? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 I worried about this when you were making plans. It sounds like a good way for your dd to learn the language but leaves you hanging about. You will have to be proactive in finding something to do. There isn't enough time to give you fluency in language so I wouldn't discount the idea of looking for English speakers. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kolamum Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 :grouphug: Can you think of your writing as a job? Are there public libraries you can go to for x hours while your daughter is in school? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenade Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 I'm sorry you're feeling lonely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patches Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 I'm sorry. It is very lonely to be in a different culture and different language. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 :grouphug: that has to be very difficult. Is there any way to meet other ex-pats? That's a long time for your child to be in school. Will she be coming home to school this next year? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weddell Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 :grouphug: Can I just tell you I'm in almost the exact situation except I'm in India instead of Turkey? We got here in February and it is incredibly hard to meet people. My dd will be in school starting July (cultural immersion), but at least I'll have a 2 yo DS at home with me. I'm lonely too. I left a ton of friends and activities and I didn't realize how hard it would be to find new ones in such a new place. We'll be here two years. I've been working on scrapbooks of the kids' baby pictures. That takes up some time each day. I skype with family back home, friends too. Write emails to friends. Check facebook. Write blog posts to let people know what we are up to. All that makes me feel connected. People love to read about what we are doing and by making sure I post on facebook or my blog I get a lot of people writing me comments and messages. I try and take a lot of pictures even if they aren't of anything too exciting, just pointing the camera out the window kind of stuff. Good luck, I know you can find some expats to meet up with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLG Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 Are you interested in photography at all? This might get you out with a purpose and offer a wonderful journal of your time in Turkey too. Or maybe a cooking class? Are there other English speaking ladies you could have over for coffee or a meal? It isn't easy reaching out, I get that. Can you offer to assist at your dd preschool maybe? OR plan a day to share with them 'your' culture? I am rambling. SO sorry for the loneliness. Hope you find something that sparks an interest outside the house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovemyboys Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 We know a family headed to Turkey later this summer. They'll be there for a few years and the kids are headed to school for the first time too. When I was in your situation, I got together with a few friends and hired a woman to come in and teach us the language. It was great fun because we in turn taught her some of our foods and customs. I would look for things like that. Anyway you could learn some of their native crafts or handiworks? Short tours that don't take you too far? Volunteer nearby? It can be tough to be far from familiar -- friends, family, language. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianneR Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: Is there somewhere you can volunteer? Perhaps a school, hospital, church or community organization? I always find when I force myself out of the house to serve others I am happier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
praisefor3 Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 I got this today in an email and thought of you. Based on your original post I think it would be ok to send this. Praying for you. I know it is copyrighted in my email so I'm including the copyright info just in case. Soul Brothers by Charles R. Swindoll Read Exodus 4:27–28 God knew Moses felt lonely in that moment. God knew His man needed some human companionship. Perhaps before Moses felt his first pang of loneliness, God was already moving to meet his need. Aaron was Moses' big brother, his senior by three years. And the Lord sought this brother out and said to him, "Aaron, go to Moses' side now. He's on a long, wilderness road, heading for Egypt. Your younger brother has been through some tough things. He needs a soul brother, right now." Moses said, "Aaron, listen to this. You'll never believe it. There I was, out with the sheep one day, just like a thousand other days before. And all of a sudden—whoosh!—this bush caught fire, and it wouldn't stop burning. So I stopped and stared. And as I got closer—Aaron, listen to this, man—God was speaking from that bush! And here's what He told me." If Aaron doubted a single word of the account, Scripture never mentions it. In fact, he was already prepared to believe every word Moses told him. Hadn't God called him out of Egypt to meet his younger brother in the desert? So Aaron listened, nodded his head, and said, "That's great, Moses. I'm with you, bro." Do you have a closeness with your brother or a kindred spirit in your sister? Do you have a friend with whom you can face the realities of your life? You may have lots of friendships in your life, but you'll probably never have more than a couple of friends on that deeper, spiritual, soul-to-soul level. You can tell such a friend anything that God is doing in your life, and you'll find a warm reception and deep affirmation. If you don't have such a friendship, tell God about your longing. He's the same God who moved Aaron's heart down in Egypt while Moses was walking alone on the desert road. And remember, the best way to find such a friend is to be such a friend. Reprinted by permission. Day by Day, Charles Swindoll, July 2005, Thomas Nelson, inc., Nashville, Tennessee. All rights reserved. Purchase "Day by Day" here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giraffe Posted June 6, 2011 Author Share Posted June 6, 2011 Can you go to daily Mass? (I am just guessing you might want ot based on your signature). It sounds like you need a routine that gets you moving each day. Keep posting here. We'll keep you company! I'd love to go to Mass, but I cannot. find. a. Catholic. church. anywhere. I can find Protestant churches, but don't know where a RC church is. And it's hard for me to get about on Sundays with DD and public transportation. She tends to panic and have tantrums on buses and ferries and such. She even dislikes taxis. That's a LONG preschool day. Can she come home to be with you instead? It's a VERY long day - intentionally. She's here to learn her Daddy's language and culture and the best thing we could think to do is to put her in school all day surrounded by other little ones who do not speak English. She's about to "pop" language wise so I think we did the right thing. Her grandfather doesn't speak English so it's important she learn Turkish. She actually loves school - rushes off every morning. :grouphug: Can I just tell you I'm in almost the exact situation except I'm in India instead of Turkey? We got here in February and it is incredibly hard to meet people. My dd will be in school starting July (cultural immersion), but at least I'll have a 2 yo DS at home with me. I'm lonely too. I left a ton of friends and activities and I didn't realize how hard it would be to find new ones in such a new place. We'll be here two years. I've been working on scrapbooks of the kids' baby pictures. That takes up some time each day. I skype with family back home, friends too. Write emails to friends. Check facebook. Write blog posts to let people know what we are up to. All that makes me feel connected. People love to read about what we are doing and by making sure I post on facebook or my blog I get a lot of people writing me comments and messages. I try and take a lot of pictures even if they aren't of anything too exciting, just pointing the camera out the window kind of stuff. Good luck, I know you can find some expats to meet up with. :grouphug: to you! I'm only here for a couple of months - not long enough to really develop a network. I worked on knitting today and that helped distract me and my reading and writing will pick up I'm sure. I just wasn't in a reading mood today. Are you interested in photography at all? This might get you out with a purpose and offer a wonderful journal of your time in Turkey too. Or maybe a cooking class? Are there other English speaking ladies you could have over for coffee or a meal? It isn't easy reaching out, I get that. Can you offer to assist at your dd preschool maybe? OR plan a day to share with them 'your' culture? I am rambling. SO sorry for the loneliness. Hope you find something that sparks an interest outside the house. I don't want to help out at DD's school because they get plenty of exposure to American culture and English (the director speaks English). And the whole point is to expose DD to Turkish, not have me introduce more English or American culture. DD does a good enough job of that all by herself! :) I'm doing much better this afternoon/evening. I talked to DH as soon as he woke up and spent a good part of the day learning knitting and purling. I'm getting better at it and will venture out to find a knitting/yarn shop tomorrow. Gets me out of the house and talking to people. DD and I played at the park when she came home from school and my FIL's wife came over for tea. So things definitely got better. And you all are wonderful. I really really appreciate the cheering up! I needed it and The Hive, as always, came through! THANK YOU! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 Hopscotch, would you be comfortable in an EO church just for a couple of months? I think that E.O. would be far more common in Turkey than R.C. Also, is it against your faith to attend a liturgical protestant church when you are far removed from you own? I was thinking that possibly some of the liturgy of an Anglican church might be familiar and you might then find some English speakers. I'm sorry. Being a Methodist, I don't know enough about EO vs. RC to know if I'm making a decent suggestion or not. I do applaud you for making the sacrifice so your daugther can become bi-lingual and understand her daddy's family better! I think that's wonderful. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BellaMama Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 :grouphug:I agree, you need something to do, a reason to put a little mascara on! Could you volunteer, perhaps in a school, one or two days a week? Sometimes that first step is the hardest. Enjoy your stay, make it your own!:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetBean Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: So glad to hear you are having a better day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giraffe Posted June 6, 2011 Author Share Posted June 6, 2011 Hopscotch, would you be comfortable in an EO church just for a couple of months? I think that E.O. would be far more common in Turkey than R.C. Also, is it against your faith to attend a liturgical protestant church when you are far removed from you own? I was thinking that possibly some of the liturgy of an Anglican church might be familiar and you might then find some English speakers. I'm sorry. Being a Methodist, I don't know enough about EO vs. RC to know if I'm making a decent suggestion or not. I do applaud you for making the sacrifice so your daugther can become bi-lingual and understand her daddy's family better! I think that's wonderful. Faith I'm actually technically Presbyterian. I'm just on the path towards RC. Long story. I want to go to Mass but can't find a church. I would go to the Protestant church that meets in the Anglican church next to the British consulate but getting there Sunday mornings is problematic. We don't do public transportation easily without DH, and a weekly taxi to go that far would blow my budget BIG TIME. I'd go to an EO service but culturally that's a bigger issue than going to RC here. Another long story that I don't completely understand, I just know better than to wade into that mess. Istanbul is the seat of the Greek Orthodox church, but the Turkish government closed the seminary (or whatever it's called) and will not allow new EO priests into the country (or some such thing) and it's developed into quite the hullaballoo. I'm sure I got that all wrong. Forgive me, EO folks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 If you are interested in scrapbooking, it's a great way to focus on good memories (very therapeutic sometimes) and there are many online communities where you can get support, share your pages, etc. I do digital pages with photoshop and I absolutely love it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: When I'm in new places, I like to walk. Just walk around and absorb the scenery. Houses, front gardens, that sort of thing. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 :grouphug: I'm sorry. That sounds tough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 :grouphug: and a :seeya: You can do this! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrogMom5 Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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