Is is standard practice to not be allowed in the room?

[Lizzie in Ma]

Is it standard practice to not allow a parent into the room for a tooth extraction? I have always been in the room at our regular dentist.

My dd is 10 and I have never run into this. I have to say, I am not happy about it at all and may cancel the appointment.

[Carrie12345]

Depends on the dentist/surgeon. Ours allowed dh in the room with each of our girls' extractions. Our previous regular dentist didn't allow him in the room for even a cleaning. We're happy with our switch.

[Gratia271]

I think it depends on the practice group. We have a dentist who decides this type of thing on a case by case basis because he has had patients who really need Mom or Dad with them. Generally, he prefers them not to be back there but will allow it if necessary.

 

I hope you find someone who will be flexible with you!

[mommaduck]

I'm hearing more and more of this. I've walked out on a dentist before because of it.

[joannqn]

The dentist that we liked suggested my daughter go back on her own for her first extraction because kids normally respond better without the parents back there. I let them try, and they ended up coming to get me because they couldn't calm her down enough to start. I knew that would be the case with her.

 

They never bothered me about being in the room after that. They sold the practice to a new dentist who taught me not to trust them because they extracted more teeth than they had permission to even though I was in the room.

 

If you want to be in the room, insist on it. If they won't allow it, walk out and find someone who will.

[KS_]

I does depend on the dentist, but we decided not to go with a pediatric dentist (and started taking our kids to our regular dentist) because of that policy. Ds had (has?) sensory issues that were much worse when he was little and there was no way I was letting him have his first dentist appt w/o dh or I present. Our regular dentist is great, has been great with the kids, and doesn't bat an eye that we want to be present during appts.

[OH_Homeschooler]

Honestly, as a parent I wouldn't want to be in the room, for the reason Joann pointed out. I think adults have a much bigger fear of the dentist than kids and the kids pick up on our nerves. Oh, and I made the mistake once of watching (part of) a wisdom tooth extraction video on youtube before my own procedure a few years ago and nearly passed out. In many ways, watching a procedure is much worse than being the person the procedure is being done on.

 

Course, if my kid really needed me there I would try my best to tough it out and hold his/her hand without looking.

[In The Great White North]

Not standard practice across the board but a lot of dentists apparently try it.

 

I always went back with my dc. In fact, I still do. I even wander from room to room while they get their teeth cleaned. I don't want the underage minor who's not paying the bills authorizing any dental work!

[Starr]

Many adults have a difficult time with dental/ surgical procedures. I think they are trying to avoid a parent getting anxious, dizzy themselves , getting a child anxious that otherwise isn't etc. but they should be able to make a case by case decision. My dd did fine at 8 alone but I wish I had pushed and gone in with her. I'm a nurse and only anxious if I'm the patient. lol This no parent for teeth cleaning and checkups is crazy!

[ChristusG]

It's pretty common. I called around until I found a dentist for my kids that DO allow parents back. I'm not sending my shy kids back with strangers. For one, they would be terrified. For two, I just don't send my kids with strangers.

[Veritaserum]

Dd10 had a tooth extracted a couple of months ago. I was in the room with her. She would have been too scared to do it alone!

 

ETA: I'm not scared of the dentist at all. I like going to the dentist. :) Dh, OTOH, is terrified. He never goes with the kids to the dentist. ;)

[Joker]

Our dentist allowed both my older dd and me in the room when he did an extraction on younger dd. We've left dentists for not allowing us back.

[Big Buckin' Longhorn]

Is it standard practice to not allow a parent into the room for a tooth extraction? I have always been in the room at our regular dentist.

My dd is 10 and I have never run into this. I have to say, I am not happy about it at all and may cancel the appointment.

 

I've always been in the room for every exam, cleaning, x-ray (peeking in from the hall), filling, extraction, etc . . .

 

I'd firmly insist I would not leave the room, if there was a REAL problem with it, I'd walk. It's just that simple. Find a dental practice who respects parental authority and family. I simply was not comfortable leaving my son, anesthetized or not, without being there.

 

I don't know why this always comes up with dentists. No doctor ever suggested I wait in the hall or lobby.

[binxsmom]

Depends on the practice. We visited a pediatric dentist that has this policy. I felt uncomfortable and just started taking them to my "adult" dentist. All is fine now. Often, I found that our local pediatric dentists use more nitrous oxide and sedation than do standard family practice dentists. Our family dentist was very willing to do fillings with just a local whereas the a few of the pediatric dentists wanted to do sedation.

[chickenpatty]

I wasn't allowed in the room for my ds' (then 4yrs?) root canal or my dd's (then 8??) clipping of that piece of tissue between the top lip and gum. Those were done in two separate dentist offices.

[Dobela]

Some offices are doing this because of the HIPPA privacy laws and such. They are required to protect the privacy of their patients. Our previous dentist had a very open arrangement with 3 chairs across and open shelving in between. As a patient it is difficult to really see who is next to you but if you were sitting in there watching a child, you would be able to see who is being treated, what is happening to them, any records pulled up on the computer....

 

We moved to a new dentist and while his is kind of the big open room concept as well, he has his set up where a parent can sit in the area at the feet of the patient and not see records and other patients. He is very accepting of my coming back.

 

My 10 yr old does it all on his own. My 4 yr old I hope will be on her own soon as well. I would love a few minutes to read a magazine :)

[PiCO]

Is it standard practice to not allow a parent into the room for a tooth extraction? I have always been in the room at our regular dentist.

My dd is 10 and I have never run into this. I have to say, I am not happy about it at all and may cancel the appointment.

 

Personally, I would cancel the appointment. My kids both go/went to a pediatric dentist, and parents are always welcome to go back (or not). For procedures like extractions, they have a meeting with parents first to discuss the procedure, and will suggest parent leaves before the procedure starts if the *parent* is nervous or queasy.

 

They also don't give kids nitrous unless the child is overly nervous or uncomfortable with the procedure. And they don't assume you're going to get the x-rays they recommend. (I love our dentist!)

[Cindyz]

I won't take my son to a dentist that won't allow me in the room. I had to call around because most won't! They tried to say it was for insurance purposes. Yea...where's the rolling eyes smiley.

[Lizzie in Ma]

My dh and I are not comfortable ever not being with our kids for any kind of procedure. As a rule, in our entire family, no one goes alone is a motto.

I have sent a cordial email ..

 

Dear Dr._________

Thank you for making Jenna's visit stress free.

On the way out, I was informed that I would not be allowed into the room with Jenna for her procedure.

My husband and I are not at all comfortable with this.

We have always been allowed and encouraged to be with our children in both doctor, hospital and dentist visits.

While I am sure you have excellent reasons for having the policy, the fact of the matter is that we will not leave our daughter alone for medical or dental procedures.

Please understand it has nothing to do with you or any of the lovely people we met there today. It is purely a parenting decision and I hope you understand.

We respectfully request that I stay with our daughter during her visit.

 

 

So, if he says no, we will opt to go elsewhere.

[Dawn in OH]

I just don't send my kids with strangers.

 

I won't use a dentist that won't allow me to be present.

[DianeW88]

We have always been allowed in the room for any and all procedures that our dentist does. Even when it is in the large open room with six chairs and other patients. Not a problem at all.

[elfgivas]

here, it goes both ways; some dentists do, some dentists don't. it is their right to set policy, and its my right to choose based on that.

 

 

as for me and my house, we go together or not at all.

 

fwiw,

ann

[kchara]

My dh and I are not comfortable ever not being with our kids for any kind of procedure. As a rule, in our entire family, no one goes alone is a motto.

I have sent a cordial email ..

 

Dear Dr._________

Thank you for making Jenna's visit stress free.

On the way out, I was informed that I would not be allowed into the room with Jenna for her procedure.

My husband and I are not at all comfortable with this.

We have always been allowed and encouraged to be with our children in both doctor, hospital and dentist visits.

While I am sure you have excellent reasons for having the policy, the fact of the matter is that we will not leave our daughter alone for medical or dental procedures.

Please understand it has nothing to do with you or any of the lovely people we met there today. It is purely a parenting decision and I hope you understand.

We respectfully request that I stay with our daughter during her visit.

 

 

So, if he says no, we will opt to go elsewhere.

 

:iagree: I'd give him a chance, but if it's a hard no from the practice, then I'd find another dentist. My kids both had teeth extracted last year, and fillings, and cleanings, and x-rays, and I was allowed back there (with my littles, in fact) for all of them. It would never have occurred to me to leave them alone. DD did have one cleaning at a pediatric practice that was more of an assembly line sort of set up. The kids (maybe 6-10 of them?) were all in one room, all getting their teeth cleaned together, and there was a big window for the parents to watch from. I wasn't thrilled with that situation, but it was out of my hands for the moment, and I could at least monitor. Still, that wouldn't have ever been my first choice.

[Pretty in Pink]

I don't think that is an uncommon policy. Our ped. dentist actually prefers parents to come back with the children. I have always encouraged the boys to go back without me (I will go if they request it, but so far none of them have done that past the age of 3). The first time we visited the boys' current dentist I sent them back with the hygienist and a few moments later the dentist came out told me that I was always welcome in the back and encouraged me to go back at least this once so that I could observe the staff in action.

 

I like that the opportunity is there if I want to take advantage of it.

[Sophia]

Is it standard practice to not allow a parent into the room for a tooth extraction? I have always been in the room at our regular dentist.

My dd is 10 and I have never run into this. I have to say, I am not happy about it at all and may cancel the appointment.

 

No it's not standard practice.

What is the reason? Do they consider it surgery? Couldn't they just give you a mask if that's the concern?

[mom2jjka]

Our dentist allows parents to go back because the exam rooms are closed off, but our orthodontist does not because they have an 'open bay' where the chairs are lined up in a row. (Why isn't it a violation for the kids to see each other though?.... I have no clue:confused:)

[LidiyaDawn]

 

I don't know why this always comes up with dentists. No doctor ever suggested I wait in the hall or lobby.

 

Yeah what's with that anyway? Why dentists? I've never come across it, but I hear of it online a fair bit…

 

Dd14 *just* started going back with dentists alone.. she was always nervous and wanted me to be there.. was never a problem. Hasn't been a problem with ds12 either, but that one's a no brainer with his disabilities. He'll never attend a dentist/doctor/etc alone.

 

(dd14 doesn't go to the doctor alone either - she won't, even if they asked her.)

[Matryoshka]

Depends on the dentist/surgeon.

 

:iagree: Our previous dentist preferred parents not to be back there, but it was not policy to forbid it. I sat in the room with my kids for all their appointments and procedures for the first few years they went.

 

I think the dentists' reasoning is what other people have said - some parents have so much fear of dentists they project that on to their kids and make things worse. But it's hugely flawed reasoning to extend that to all parents/kids. I have no fear of dentists at all and was always calm and matter-of-fact. I usually just sat there and read the paper, and may have lightly put my hand on the child's leg. They never gave me a hard time about going back there.

 

After a few years, my kids didn't even want me back there themselves.

 

I would not have ever gone to a dentist with flat policy not to allow parents back there. No way, no how.

[Homemama2]

If you want to be in the room, insist on it. If they won't allow it, walk out and find someone who will.

 

:iagree:

Our regular dentist lets you stay in the room. Once, they sent us to a ped. specialist for something and my ds had to go back alone. Now this kid actually loves the dentist (weird, I know!) but the visit where he had to go in alone terrorized him. When we got in the car, he said he was crying and upset and they wouldn't come out and get me (he's NEVER cried at the dentist before). He begged me to not go back because it would have meant having a tooth pulled w/o me in the room. Of course I called and canceled the appointment. I did ask before cancelling if I could come back during the tooth extraction and the woman was rude and said "no, parents just cause kids to get all upset." They called me back later to say that I 'could' come in and to 'please not cancel' but I had already made an appointment with our regular dentist.

[Lizzie in Ma]

No it's not standard practice.

What is the reason? Do they consider it surgery? Couldn't they just give you a mask if that's the concern?

 

They gave no reason, I was given a form to initial with this policy on it. I did not do so.

[stripe]

Why are women allowed to have "support people" in the room during labor and delivery, but children not accorded the same?

 

I find such policies offensive, especially as they involve minors and sedation.

[Night Elf]

I does depend on the dentist, but we decided not to go with a pediatric dentist (and started taking our kids to our regular dentist) because of that policy. Ds had (has?) sensory issues that were much worse when he was little and there was no way I was letting him have his first dentist appt w/o dh or I present. Our regular dentist is great, has been great with the kids, and doesn't bat an eye that we want to be present during appts.

 

I have the same story. I tried a pediatric dentist because it seemed like they would be kid friendly. They were parent unfriendly. My son had a fit with trying to get an xray and the technician yelled at him. That was the last time we went there. I started taking them to the dentist that my DH and I used. He's fabulous and has no problem with us sitting in the room with the kids. He includes us in his conversations and we actually have a good time.

 

I'd suggest finding another dentist as well.

[stripe]

I talked to my kids' pediatrician about my unhappiness with the seemingly common policy and she also recommended a regular family dentist rather than a pediatric dentist.

 

The only time I've been asked to leave the room during a medical procedure was when x-rays were administered, and I was in an adjoining room through which I could see everything. Surgeries where the whole room is sterile and lots of other medical personnel were there, also wouldn't bother me to be left out of. But otherwise, it's scary.

 

Incidentally I was by myself at age 10 to get a filling and the dentist was weird. Not inappropriate, but just weird. I wish my mom had been there.

[HS Mom in NC]

Who cares if it's the dentist's policy? Explain to the dentist that you will be present with your child or you will go elsewhere.

[Abigail4476]

Is it standard practice to not allow a parent into the room for a tooth extraction? I have always been in the room at our regular dentist.

My dd is 10 and I have never run into this. I have to say, I am not happy about it at all and may cancel the appointment.

 

All of the pediatric dentists my kids have seen have allowed the parents either in the room, or right outside in the hall with the door open. (Both so they can observe and be on hand for questions and comfort.)

 

I did take them once to a regular dentist for checkups because he was in our network, and when he wouldn't allow me to go back with them (I was rather grumpily informed of this by the nurse), I knew we would never be back.

 

Even when my son was put *under* at age 5 for some fillings, I was allowed back there to observe. I anxiously watched the little heart monitor the whole time and the very patient pediatric dentist paused often to explain to me exactly what he was doing, and to reassure me that my ds was doing wonderfully.

 

So no; I don't think it's the norm for pediatric dentists, and IMO, it's completely unacceptable.

[scrappyhappymama]

I've noticed in the past few years that male doctors almost *always* have a female nurse or assistant with them, if I am seeing them without my husband or a friend present. I have been told by friends in the medical community that this is to prevent any accusations of inappropriate behavior on the part of the doctor.

 

If adult women need an extra layer of "protection" from their care providers, most certainly I will not be sending my CHILD back under the care of a doctor without my parental supervision.

 

We had a bad experience with a dentist about a year ago. Our eight year old wanted to go back alone, and he was having sealant put on, and the office is quite open, so we could hear him and thought we'd be free to come back if he needed us. Unfortunately, he started crying and freaking out a bit, so my husband tried to go back to help calm him down. One of the dentists waylaid him and refused to allow my husband to go back to our son. They ended up getting into a very heated discussion, and all the while our son was screaming and crying for us. I had our little ones in the lobby with me, so I couldn't go back to him. Of course, the dentist was unable to complete the procedure, so we ended up paying for an incomplete procedure (I should have refused), and we NEVER went back.

 

The dentist's reasoning was that because of HIPPA they could not have extra people back there milling about. Also, parents tended to make their children more upset. Well, once they are already upset that's a bit of a moot point, no? And the HIPPA thing is baloney. With the open concept dental offices so common now, I hear the dentist's discussions with all the patients around me! One more adult overhearing the conversation while sitting by their own child makes no difference.

 

A few weeks ago, this same son needed an emergency extraction. I could tell at the practice that they preferred parents not to go back, but they did not prevent it. Fortunately I did, because my son is now very nervous at the dentist, and he needed my help to calm down before the extraction. In fact, at one point the dentist told me maybe we should reschedule to come back when he was calmer. But I told her he never would be calmer and I wanted us to go ahead. If I hadn't been back there with him, they would have sent him out without having done the procedure at all.

[Lizzie in Ma]

The office called and said it was their policy so I informed them we would not be needing their services.

 

Thank the Lord I did so. I called my BFF and she had seen my FB status which was pretty much what I wrote here. The first words out of her mouth were, "PLEASE tell me you didn't take her to Dr. X!!!"

 

And she told me she had taken her 5 year old for a filling (referred by the same clinic who referred us to him). Against her better judgement, she allowed her dd to go back without her. Now her dd can be pretty bratty but she was literally screaming and they kept telling my friend she was fine and would not allow her to go back there. She found out that when her little one stopped screaming it was because the hygienist had threatened her!!! She told her if she didn't stop screaming and behave that she would never see her mother again!!!!!! And all she got was a phone call apology!!!

 

I feel like we dodged a huge bullet and I am so glad you all helped me to feel like I wasn't nuts insisting on being with her.

Tomorrow, we go back to our old dentist and put it on a credit card, though we don't use them anymore. And I won't regret it for a second. I so wish we didn't have the crappy insurance we have but I won't let that stop me from taking her where she needs to go.

Thank you all

[Big Buckin' Longhorn]

The office called and said it was their policy so I informed them we would not be needing their services.

 

Thank the Lord I did so. I called my BFF and she had seen my FB status which was pretty much what I wrote here. The first words out of her mouth were, "PLEASE tell me you didn't take her to Dr. X!!!"

 

And she told me she had taken her 5 year old for a filling (referred by the same clinic who referred us to him). Against her better judgement, she allowed her dd to go back without her. Now her dd can be pretty bratty but she was literally screaming and they kept telling my friend she was fine and would not allow her to go back there. She found out that when her little one stopped screaming it was because the hygienist had threatened her!!! She told her if she didn't stop screaming and behave that she would never see her mother again!!!!!! And all she got was a phone call apology!!!

 

I feel like we dodged a huge bullet and I am so glad you all helped me to feel like I wasn't nuts insisting on being with her.

Tomorrow, we go back to our old dentist and put it on a credit card, though we don't use them anymore. And I won't regret it for a second. I so wish we didn't have the crappy insurance we have but I won't let that stop me from taking her where she needs to go.

Thank you all

 

:party: I think you did the absolute right thing! Mama Bear wins, and I'd pay that credit card bill with a smile on my face, too!

 

Well, maybe half a smile. ;)

[Mommee & Baba]

I didn't realize it would happen to me when I took my dc to the dentist clinic through the health department. It came time for my dc to go back and they told me I coudn't come. I wasn't at the SLIGHTEST happy BUT we were already scheduled for both children PLUS I thought it would be cheaper going through them than a regular dentist. After everything was said and done the price was similar to what it would've cost at MY dentist office!:glare: