No preschool? Why not?

[FortWorthCookes]

I was looking at the "homeschooling before compulsory school age" post and noticed that many people said that they aren't really for preschooling - what are the reasons for that? We're not sending our almost 4yo just because I really don't see much value added, but I was wondering what some other reasons were for not supporting the idea of preschool. Just interesting to me with the ages of my kids!

 

Also, my 4yo is my oldest and we haven't really begun our homeschooling "journey" yet. We also have a 2 year old and one due in about 2 weeks. I'd like to create an atmosphere of learning around here, just to set the tone and start moving myself into a move motivated mood. Can anyone recommend some ways to get our family moving in that general direction so that we can set aside a few learning days each week when fall gets here? I'm a homeschool graduate and know I'm committed to what we're about to do, but I'm really not sure how to make that first step toward actual education. Even the slightest "can I show you..." is met with resistance from DD1 and I'm so confused about how to get her interested in learning from ME. Is this normal at this age? :001_smile:

[redsquirrel]

It is normal and IMO, now is the time to deal with it. Much easier to teach her to accept it now than when she is 8 or 9.

 

I started "pre-school' at home for my kids when they were 4. That was when we started to read and learn math. I had weekly themes (train week, apple week, snow week etc), lots of library books, arts and crafts, cooking, reading, handwriting and math. Mostly it was about learning to sit with mommy as teacher for 45 mins every morning. It was also to help me learn how to incorporate school into our daily routine.

 

But... I would also wait until that baby is born and things settle down. years old, 5 years old... not a big difference.

[Embassy]

I was looking at the "homeschooling before compulsory school age" post and noticed that many people said that they aren't really for preschooling - what are the reasons for that?

 

Because the cognitive benefits are greater if your child spends the preschool years developing extended pretend play sequences instead of structured academic learning.

[TheCoffeeChick]

My ds went to pre-school - it was one at our church within walking distance to our house. It was 2 mornings a week at a price we could afford. He enjoyed it - it was not academic based, more of structured play and learning things like colors, counting, and such that he already knew before going there.

 

Dd did not go -- we couldn't afford it and we lived in a different town by that time and there wasn't anywhere close by. I don't think she missed out on anything important by not going.

 

With both kids, we still did school stuff at home during the pre-school ages. Technically dd is still pre-school age because she turned 5 after the school cut-off date.

 

We did weekly themes (Letter of the Week), OPG, the Before the Code books, and Saxon K with both dc. We don't push the kids to learn things before they are ready and only schooled about 30 minutes a day for pre-k.

[myfunnybunch]

I didn't want to pay for it. Plain and simple.

 

There are good preschools, even good relatively inexpensive preschools, in our area. But I figured, why pay for it when we can find a play group and do preschool learning activities at home for free? :)

 

Other than that, the majority of homeschoolers I know aren't against preschool, per se. Definitely against mandatory preschool, and absolutely opposed to the idea that children will somehow miss out if they do not attend preschool, but not against preschool in general.

 

Cat

[Giraffe]

We do morning preschool - Montessori even (shock!). but at home we still have "home school" - reading, playing with letters, numbers. I have the MFW pre-K package (got it at the Arlington, TX, bookfair last year). DD loves it.

 

FWIW, I don't say "can I show you" or anything like that. I just say "it's reading time", or "let's play with the white board" (letters), or "let's do the pegs" (numbers). Then we do it. it's playing, not schooling - in her mind, at least.

 

We're going to afterschool, not home school exclusively, so this is setting us up for doing something after school every day.

 

Maybe you can start it with a big trip to the library and "special" reading time afterwards and every day thereafter? Then merge in other activities, not calling them home school, just projects?

[TheAutumnOak]

I was looking at the "homeschooling before compulsory school age" post and noticed that many people said that they aren't really for preschooling - what are the reasons for that? We're not sending our almost 4yo just because I really don't see much value added, but I was wondering what some other reasons were for not supporting the idea of preschool. Just interesting to me with the ages of my kids!

 

Also, my 4yo is my oldest and we haven't really begun our homeschooling "journey" yet. We also have a 2 year old and one due in about 2 weeks. I'd like to create an atmosphere of learning around here, just to set the tone and start moving myself into a move motivated mood. Can anyone recommend some ways to get our family moving in that general direction so that we can set aside a few learning days each week when fall gets here? I'm a homeschool graduate and know I'm committed to what we're about to do, but I'm really not sure how to make that first step toward actual education. Even the slightest "can I show you..." is met with resistance from DD1 and I'm so confused about how to get her interested in learning from ME. Is this normal at this age? :001_smile:

 

I can't speak for others, but I meant sending your child to a preschool...It is fine if you choose to do it, but I don't think it is necessary...My youngest is 4 and we do some things here as well...It can be a great time to get a child use to doing some sort of work at home...

[ChristusG]

I don't send my kids to preschool because it's against some of my main reasons for homeschooling. I want my kids with me all day so that I can love them, care for them, and teach them what I feel they should know. I also do not want them exposed to kids who are going to teach them bad habits (name calling, etc). I also want my kids to form a strong bond as each others main playmates.

 

Sending to preschool would detract from all of those things.

[blondeviolin]

I didn't want to pay for it. Plain and simple.

 

There are good preschools, even good relatively inexpensive preschools, in our area. But I figured, why pay for it when we can find a play group and do preschool learning activities at home for free? :)

 

Other than that, the majority of homeschoolers I know aren't against preschool, per se. Definitely against mandatory preschool, and absolutely opposed to the idea that children will somehow miss out if they do not attend preschool, but not against preschool in general.

 

Cat

 

:iagree: My oldest is turning five next month. Somewhere along the way of her playing and watching TV she learned her letters and their sounds, her colors, shapes, numbers 1-13, patterns, etc.

 

Do I consider myself a homeschool mom at the moment? Not really. She does do a few things:

 

Reading lessons - because she ASKED CONTINUALLY to read. She's getting to a point where she's happy with her reading level, so the lessons are slowing down as well.

 

Zaner-Bloser handwriting - because she is constantly writing notes. And she was constantly starting her letters from the bottom up and I want her to learn the better way the first tiem.

 

Five in a Row - Well, this is partly to get ME in the mode of MORE reading to the kids with MORE in depth analyzing. And to get into the schedule of having a daily lesson type activity. Any learning she does with it is gravy (and there IS learning). And she doesn't see it as "school" at all. It is storytime.

 

Before we did those things, though (so like March, since we started just a few weeks ago), we did weekly themed crafts and fun. We had fire safety talk, we talked about bugs and bees and butterflies (and hatched 'em), we talked about why it's winter when it is, etc, etc. All of those things just happen naturally when you're at home with your kids.

 

And, really, there is a preschool in our neighborhood that is FREE and publicly funded. It is also 6 hours a day, 5 days a week... And I don't think my 4 year old needs to be in a classroom setting that long.

 

If I could find a 2-3 hour a day, 2-3 days a week place that was inexpensive and play-based, I'd probably send 'em.

[Aggie]

Even the slightest "can I show you..." is met with resistance from DD1 and I'm so confused about how to get her interested in learning from ME. Is this normal at this age? :001_smile:

 

Do not ask the question if you are not willing to live with the answer.:001_smile:

 

I would tell her, "This is what we are going to do right now.":001_smile:

 

My teens don't always enjoy doing their work, though they do enjoy learning, but they know they have to do it.

[nmoira]

Because the cognitive benefits are greater if your child spends the preschool years developing extended pretend play sequences instead of structured academic learning.

:iagree:

Even if the child asks for academics (my eldest did), keep it very short. With two "school aged" children under 10, I still keep days short to allow for plenty of play time.

 

For the OP. Read, read, read. Involve then in household activities. Think and reason out loud and help them do the same thing. Ask them for ideas. Brainstorm problem solving ideas. Listen to them and only answer questions they ask (this will encourage them to solve their own problems and think they're item questions through).

Edited April 18, 2011 by nmoira

[pgr]

I don't send my kids to preschool because it's against some of my main reasons for homeschooling. I want my kids with me all day so that I can love them, care for them, and teach them what I feel they should know. I also do not want them exposed to kids who are going to teach them bad habits (name calling, etc). I also want my kids to form a strong bond as each others main playmates.

 

Sending to preschool would detract from all of those things.

 

These are my reasons as well.

 

FWIW, I don't say "can I show you" or anything like that. I just say "it's reading time", or "let's play with the white board" (letters), or "let's do the pegs" (numbers). Then we do it. it's playing, not schooling - in her mind, at least.

 

 

:iagree: with this as well - my DD is often ant to anything I want to officially teach - including tying a bow/tying her shoes! :lol: I have learned that the wording makes a difference. That, and catching the wave, so to speak, as far as timing goes. If she's interested in something, I say - "ooo, let's go read about this!", if she's not into it, I let it go - I figure she's not at the age where I have to push it (for fear of pushing her away as well).

[Mommy22alyns]

I could take or leave preschool. Becca went 2x/week for half days for 2 years and loved it. Did she go for the academics? No. But she had fun and I had a little break with baby Sylvia. Sylvia went for 4 months. She wanted "homeschool preschool." Honestly, I see no difference between the child that went to preschool for 2 years and the one who went for 4 months.

[T'smom]

I would love to find a reasonably priced play-based preschool. But there's no way I'm paying the prices around here for him to go learn things he already knows!!!

 

As far as the sitting down to "do school"- what I do is simply ask him if he wants to. If he doesn't, no biggie. He almost never turns me down though. Now, he's only 3. When he's older, he won't have a choice! But for now, I simply say "Do you want to do your alphabet puzzle?" or "Do you want to play a game?" (we have lots of educational games). Stuff like that. I don't use the word 'school' or 'work'. He loves to "do craft projects"- there's an awesome set of books that our library has, I think it's called 'Cut, Paste, Create' It uses cut out shapes to make things like trucks. I'd cut the shapes out the night before and then ask him if he wanted to make a truck. He invariably said yes. So, we'd get the shapes out and talk about the shapes and colors and put them together several times before we glued them down.

[warriormom]

I think you decide on a "case by case" basis. My ds has a great attention span and love for learning. MY DD resists learning in a loose formal environment.

[annlaura]

Because the cognitive benefits are greater if your child spends the preschool years developing extended pretend play sequences instead of structured academic learning.

:iagree:

 

I have been doing some simple academic activities recently, like worksheets and writing some letters, but only because DS4 asks to. And we only do these activities for short amounts of time.

[Ellie]

What you're talking about is the things that parents normally do with their young children. It doesn't have to be officially titled "pre-school." You just do what comes naturally--teaching dc colors and shapes and concepts like next-to and on-top-of and to tie shoes and counting and all that. Gradually, seamlessly, morph into more formal stuff. The year that the dc are compulsory school age, do whatever needs to be done legally (if anything). Easy peasy.

 

A friend once said that one of her children had to go for counseling (why is irrelevant). The counsellor told her that if he watched young children playing, he would be able to tell which ones were in age-segregated pre-schools and which ones were not, and it wasn't a good thing.

[annlaura]

A friend once said that one of her children had to go for counseling (why is irrelevant). The counsellor told her that if he watched young children playing, he would be able to tell which ones were in age-segregated pre-schools and which ones were not, and it wasn't a good thing.

 

 

I wonder if you know what the counselor was referring to? And if it would be the same as with children in daycare?:bigear:

[Ellie]

I wonder if you know what the counselor was referring to? And if it would be the same as with children in daycare?:bigear:

Not much difference between "preschool" and "daycare," as far as I can tell.

 

It had to do with positive social behavior, the group-care children having less socially acceptable behavior than children who spent time with their actual parents and older siblings.

[Night Elf]

Even the slightest "can I show you..." is met with resistance from DD1 and I'm so confused about how to get her interested in learning from ME. Is this normal at this age? :001_smile:

 

This is not indicative of what she'll be like when she's school age. My kids were like that too and we have no problem doing school work.

 

IMHO, instead of trying to show her your way, explore with her in her own way. Instead of saying 'Can I show you?' say 'Can I play [activity name] with you?'

 

My youngest dd has always been very independent. She didn't like for me to give her things and we had so much that she often got bored playing with the same few things. I made a poster with a large grid. In each box, I put a picture of a type of activity we had along with the word. When she got bored, she would go look at the poster, find something she wanted to do, and then either go find it herself or come ask me.

 

Activities like:

 

puzzles

math (manipulatives and workbooks, her choice)

painting

coloring

matching games

reading

playdoh

tracing

computer

cutting paper

washing dishes

washing windows

 

Those are the ones I remember off the top of my head. That system worked quite well.

[MinivanMom]

Because the cognitive benefits are greater if your child spends the preschool years developing extended pretend play sequences instead of structured academic learning.

 

:iagree:

 

 

The best preschools are the ones that provide an enriching home-like environment where the children can play freely. We have a home where the t.v. is off and there are plenty of enriching activities to choose from. Formal academic instruction wait until kindergarten. Good work habits can be established in kindergarten. Preschool at our house is for play.

[ScoutTN]

As other have said, it's unnecessary. Home is better.

 

* All the early childhood learning can happen easily at home without any formal academic setting.

*Time to play imaginatively and freely is priceless in our world today!

* Preschool/daycare is expensive, exposes a child to loads of illnesses, negative socialization and drains energy and time that might be used for more productive or healthy activities.

 

The "best" preschools spend lots of money trying to be more like a home!

[sewingmama]

My DD goes to public PreK 3x a week and my DS1 will be going when he turns 4 in September. No harm has been done to them by it - in fact it has been of immense benefit to them. They haven't learnt any bad habits -it's a nice enviroment with nice kids and teachers. It's just something different for them to experience and the chance to play with other kids their own age. My kids get lots of chance to interact with others of differing ages because there aren't any kids their age in our life (church, friends etc) so it's their only chance to meet up with same age children and in my DD's case the only time she gets to play with other little girls.

 

My DD has never had a day off sick in the three terms she has been there and in fact has never even had a cold since she has been there. It costs me $240 for the whole year which I don't consider expensive for what she gets. It's play based - the only academics they do is story time for 15 minutes at the end - the rest of the time they move about freely playing, doing preschool craft and playing outside in the enormous playground. It's only 3 hours a day - so plenty of time left to play at home. I only have good things to say about it if you can find a good one - my DD's social skill's, speech and behaviour have improved immensely since she started there.

Edited April 18, 2011 by sewingmama

[Paintedlady]

Because it's not necessary. Because it seemed like glorified daycare. Because I like having my littles home with me. Because I don't want someone else teaching my kids their values. All the same reasons I don't like school.

[Dawn in OH]

I don't send my kids to preschool because it's against some of my main reasons for homeschooling. I want my kids with me all day so that I can love them, care for them, and teach them what I feel they should know. I also do not want them exposed to kids who are going to teach them bad habits (name calling, etc). I also want my kids to form a strong bond as each others main playmates.

 

Sending to preschool would detract from all of those things.

 

I agree with the above. Also, I'm not comfortable with handing off my 4 year old to strangers. Honestly, I'm not comfortable handing off my 10 year old to strangers, either, but even more so my 4 year old. The reasons for this are numerous.

 

My brother and I never went to preschool, and we didn't miss out on anything. We were never "behind" or "slow" or "socially challenged". We missed nothing from the lack of the experience. We probably gained a lot from an extra year at home with mom too.

[stripe]

I don't understand if the question is, Why don't some people who plan to homeschool send their kids to preschool first, or Why don't people call whatever they are doing with 4 year olds "preschool," or Why don't people do academic and/or typical preschool activities at home. It seems like different people are interpreting the original post differently.

[QueenCat]

Because the cognitive benefits are greater if your child spends the preschool years developing extended pretend play sequences instead of structured academic learning.

 

Not all preschools use formal academics. I taught preschool using "The Creative Curriculum" which is a very experience based curriculum. There are other experience based options out there. I have no regrets sending my children to play based, experience based programs either.

[teachmejoy]

I love schooling in the preschool years!! It is so much fun! I have a program I developed just for this purpose and am actually using with my daughter 3yo right now. You can check it out in my signature if you want. The most important thing to remember is that anything can be a learning experience! Have fun with it!

[HS Mom in NC]

I assume by preschool you mean "seat work" with workbooks in Phonics, Writing, and manipulatives in Math.

 

I believe the word "schooling" should be used when a child is learning formal academics. So, I think "pre-school" should mean before formal academics (Phonics, Writing, Math, etc.) Concepts like identifying colors, shapes, small, medium, large, sequencing, etc. are all incidental learning in my house in the carefree days of childhood before academics start.

 

My oldest two are 22 months apart. My third is 10 years younger than my oldest. So, I did do a few "preschool type things" when she wanted to "do school" with her sisters. She played with play dough, strung beads, colored, paper dolls, shape puzzles, etc. in her special "school things" to be used when she wanted to be around her sisters while they did real school. It was to make her feel included and keep her out of their hair.

 

We spend the "preschool years" reading wonderful literature, playing, and learning to get along in a family. I had 2 early readers (5 and 6) and 1 late reader (7) when we began academic subjects like Phonics, Writing, and Math for 10 minutes a day per subject.

 

Childhood is short-don't waste it on premature busy work. All that can be learned faster and better if you wait until they're actually ready which is different for each child. The late ones WILL catch up fairly quickly and be just as good at academics as the early ones by late elementary school.

[Farmgirl70]

Here are the reasons mine didn't go to preschool:

--I wanted them with me. I wanted to coach them through social situations, see them hit milestones, read with them, play with them, be there for it all at that age.

--It didn't seem necessary, financially or otherwise.

--I wanted them to play. Play is an important part of this age, readying them for more academic learning later. We painted, played at the beach, went to the zoo, played with friends, they pretended like crazy, and tired themselves out outdoors. I am so glad we did. They are teens now and though this time is also wonderful, it is different.

--You can only be three years old once. I wanted them to really be as three as they could be--It is tempting to feel affirmed if your preschoolers acts older and does older things. However, three is the only time you can be three. Your child can't say at age 16, "Oh, I really miss watching a bug on the sidewalk and discovering it for the first time." and then go back to that three year old wonder in quite the same way. I just really wanted to give them the time and space to be.

 

Now, I'm not saying that preschool and those things are mutually exclusive for everyone. But for us it seemed like the best way to those goals were to keep them home with us. No regrets now that they are older and more independent every day.

[....]

I assume by preschool you mean "seat work" with workbooks in Phonics, Writing, and manipulatives in Math.

 

 

All 4 of my kids have been to preschool and it's never been like that. Sheesh! :001_huh: Was this a preschool you had experience with?

 

I'll go against the tide on this one and say that we really like preschool. My 3 yro goes to a tiny parochial preschool right now and I'll send her until it's time for K. After that, they homeschool for the rest of their lives! Ah, ha, ha, ha (evil laugh).

 

Here's why we like preschool:

 

it gives her a chance to do something on her own and hopefully builds confidence

I'm horrible at preschool games, songs and crafts - and preschool does those

it gives her a chance to make some friends (my oldest kids have tons of friends)

it provides a window of time for me to do something that totally focuses on the oldest kids (something I can't do "with" her)- go play a game of basketball, have a morning reading at the library, go to the art museum (if we did these things with her, she would end up crying half-way thru and we'd have to leave)

 

My two oldest kids really get the short end of the stick sometimes. They are tons of help around the house and are constantly trying to help the younger kids with stuff. For them to have a morning where the focus is entirely on them is great.

 

I know these aren't supermom reasons, but this has been our experience.

[Pretty in Pink]

Because the cognitive benefits are greater if your child spends the preschool years developing extended pretend play sequences instead of structured academic learning.

 

Agreed. I think a Montessori preschool experience can be a wonderful thing, but it is not inexpensive. I would not send my own children to an academically-oriented preschool.

[Wabi Sabi]

My oldest has attended a Montessori preschool/kindergarten for 3 years. Next fall my 3 y/o will start preschool at the same school. She will most likely attend for 3 years as well, then begin homeschooling in 1st grade.

 

Even though we'll eventually be a full-time homeschooling family I have no regrets sending them to preschool and have had to make sacrifices to be able to afford it. We cannot financially afford to send both of them throughout elementary, but we've (just barely) managed to squeeze out enough for preschool. It has been worth every single penny.

 

I don't send my kids to preschool because it's against some of my main reasons for homeschooling. I want my kids with me all day so that I can love them, care for them, and teach them what I feel they should know. I also do not want them exposed to kids who are going to teach them bad habits (name calling, etc). I also want my kids to form a strong bond as each others main playmates.

 

If these are your reasons for homeschooling I can see why preschool may not be a good option for your family, but as it happens those particular points are not really factors in our decision to homeschool. We're homeschooling simply because I don't think that the caliber of our local public school is up to par, that my children need more creative, hands-on work and private school is not financially feasible for us past kindergarten.

[stripe]

But does the OP mean sending your kids to preschool before homeschooling them?

[RoundAbout]

Here are the reasons mine didn't go to preschool:

--I wanted them with me. I wanted to coach them through social situations, see them hit milestones, read with them, play with them, be there for it all at that age.

--It didn't seem necessary, financially or otherwise.

--I wanted them to play. Play is an important part of this age, readying them for more academic learning later. We painted, played at the beach, went to the zoo, played with friends, they pretended like crazy, and tired themselves out outdoors. I am so glad we did. They are teens now and though this time is also wonderful, it is different.

--You can only be three years old once. I wanted them to really be as three as they could be--It is tempting to feel affirmed if your preschoolers acts older and does older things. However, three is the only time you can be three. Your child can't say at age 16, "Oh, I really miss watching a bug on the sidewalk and discovering it for the first time." and then go back to that three year old wonder in quite the same way. I just really wanted to give them the time and space to be.

 

Now, I'm not saying that preschool and those things are mutually exclusive for everyone. But for us it seemed like the best way to those goals were to keep them home with us. No regrets now that they are older and more independent every day.

 

:iagree:

 

This is absolutely beautfiful.

 

I've said this before but I would do preschool a few times a week if it were very close, inexpensive, in line with my philosophy (mostly outdoor play with art, pretend play, and nature studies), flexible, and didn't require us to get out the door at a specific time.

 

What works for us is a family membership at the YMCA. He gets to do plenty of preschooly stuff while I work out a few days a week, and during the monthly Parent's Night Out. We also have memberships to various places (zoo, gardens, etc.) and belong to a weekly hiking-with-kids group. The flexibility and price on these is a better deal than preschool for our family.

[....]

We're homeschooling simply because I don't think that the caliber of our local public school is up to par, that my children need more creative, hands-on work and private school is not financially feasible for us past kindergarten.

 

That was our main reason for homeschooling, too. Public school academics were completely unacceptable to us.

 

Now, we've found other great things about homeschooling: relaxed schedule, better family life, calmer house, get to do a lot of fun things with my kids, they can study things they are interested in...the list goes on and on.

[JennyD]

I think that preschool would have been very nice, actually. I didn't send my oldest mainly because of the cost, which is astronomical, but also because he wasn't ready at 3 and then by 4 all the local programs were full-day.

 

My 3yo would love preschool, but we're moving this summer and I don't think I'll be able to get him in for next fall. But maybe the next year -- preschool should be a lot cheaper where we're moving.

 

And I could definitely see sending my youngest in a few years, if only to give me a bit more extra time with my oldest.

[3lilreds in NC]

I do not think preschool is necessary at all.

 

That being said, all 3 of mine have gone. Emma went because she was able to get into a good program at 2.5 and with Abbie being only a year behind her, I was losing my mind. I really needed a break. It helped me a lot.

 

They both went the following year, and finished up when they were 4. Emma stayed at the same school, but Abbie went to a learn-through-play program when she was 4 that was FABULOUS and is where we would have sent Isaac if we still lived there.

 

Now, the girls went before I had even an inkling that I might want to homeschool, but I will tell you that it made my life ever so much easier when we started K at home that they already knew their letters etc.

 

Schmooey goes now because dh wants him to go, and because he likes it and also wants to go. I really didn't want to send him back this year, but honestly, the 2 mornings a week he's in school, the girls and I are able to get a lot done. I have not done a good job of teaching my girls to be independent in their school work, so I have to be involved in most of it, and Schmooey gets into every.thing. when he is here. Someone told me it should get easier to homeschool with him when he turned 3.5. They lied.

 

I really did want to homeschool preschool my baby boy. I might consider it again for next year. But, it's made our homeschooling this year a lot easier and I know dh will want him to continue. It's also nice that we've met some people and made some friends there. That was a big help after moving here.

[HS Mom in NC]

All 4 of my kids have been to preschool and it's never been like that. Sheesh! :001_huh: Was this a preschool you had experience with?

 

Yes, it was one I worked at for two years right out of high school (91-92.) Ages 3-4 started workbooks for matching, circling shapes, simple classification, etc. and preK-K did Reading that was look say and Math. They were very competitive with the others geared to early academics that parents had to choose from in the area. It was intended to appeal to professionals. They also included the usual singing, painting, coloring, dress up stuff, but those were not their selling points.

 

Are you unfamiliar with the wide rang of preschools out there? Some are geared to replacing the neighborhood socializing and play and letting mom avoid the mess of crafts and paints, but others are introducing academics early.