So am I the only one whose kids do no classes or sports??

[elizabeth rose]

Ok, so after reading the other thread about the true costs of extracurriculars, i am wondering if I am the only one whose kids aren't involved in stuff like this. My oldest who is 14 does do drama classes, but my younger two, who are 5 and 7 do nothing. I mean nothing except for going to church and a monthly book club, that's about it.

so, just wondering, am i alone????

[elizabeth rose]

I just wanted to add, we do plenty as a family. We have an aquarium membership, we go to D.C. to the museums frequently, we swim at the Y weekly. We DO stuff, just not organized stuff. So my kids are not going to be pianists or ballerinas or baseball players, but we have a sit down dinner together every single night.

[Hannah C.]

When I was homeschooled, I didn't do any classes. I did do a sport on and off for about three years, as did three of my siblings. My father also played that particular sport, which was why we were able to do it. The lack of extracurriculars never bothered me when I was younger.

[secular_mom]

We do family things and park days and such, but no 'organized' activities such as sports or academics. We just don't have the time, funds or even interest.

[elizabeth rose]

well I am glad to know I am not alone! Financially it is not feasable right now, but I am also hesitant to sacrifice so much time.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Ds did no outside activities until he was 12. Now he's in tae kwando.

[Night Elf]

We don't do sports or big activities. Dd12 has a weekly drama class but they do not do performances. She is also in a girl's club that meets twice a month but the costs of activities are always minimal.

 

We've tried a few extracurricular things over the years but nothing mandatory and nothing that has stuck. It's not not a priority for us.

[Lara in Colo]

No money here. I was considering some activies but now I think I've been scared off.

 

Lara

[sharon family school]

I've been thinking about this same issue LOTS lately. If your family is sitting down to eat together every night, you are to be commended!! I feel like that will do more to affect the childrens' character than any activity you could put them in!

Personally, I took private flute lessons for about 6 years and spent years involved in concert band and marching band...even in college. While lots of it was fun.....I use none of it today! I just wonder if all of our running around to get our kids to this activity or that activity is sometimes to their detriment (and ours).

Like you, Eliazbeth, we put more emphasis on "family activities".....for us that means special trips during the summer and maybe one or two closer to home trips throughout the year. My oldest (14) volunteers weekly at the library and at church. She and 2 of her brothers take private piano lessons, but my husband and I were just talking about the fact that it costs about $1000 a year for that! We may reconsider.

Our three boys (11, 11, and 8) really do nothing besides church activities. The two older ones may start scouting next Fall, but will give up one weekly church activity if they do that, plus their Dad will definitely be involved.

I guess each family needs to decide for themselves what is right for THEM. Don't compare yourself to what others are doing, it sounds like you have a wonderful family and your children are growing up in a loving home. Just my 2 cents worth!!

Blessings,

Susan

[Heather in OK]

Nope, you're not. :)

 

Mostly it's the cost. But another part of it is the time. I don't want to be the Mom in the car all the time running kids four different direction every night of the week!!

 

My kids aren't interested in organized sports. And honestly, I'm glad. When I am on-call obviously I have no idea when I will be gone or for how long. So there is a good chance that they will miss a practice or game (we only have one car).

 

The school district we are in offers evening classes to the community, which include those for kids. Our ds took a little sports class this fall (it introduced the littles to different sports). He enjoyed it while it lasted but hasn't asked to go back. When those flyers come I always look through it to see if there is something my girls would enjoy (i.e. photography). So far they haven't seen anything.

 

We will be doing a P.E. class the next couple of months. The younger two are excited about it and for once, it's something being offered that is really affordable!!

 

If your family is sitting down to eat together every night, you are to be commended!! I feel like that will do more to affect the childrens' character than any activity you could put them in!

:iagree:

[DawnM]

We do scouts. That is our big extra curricular....and honestly, I find it VERY cheap for all that it involves.

 

This year we also added Tae Kwon Do, but we only do it one hour per week as that is all we can afford.

 

Dawn

[elizabeth rose]

. If your family is sitting down to eat together every night, you are to be commended!! I feel like that will do more to affect the childrens' character than any activity you could put them in!

 

Thanks so much for this encouragement:001_smile:

[angela in ohio]

It is possible to do activities and not harm family time. We have dinner together every night, though my dc have art, music, and other outside activities. Just don't want anyone assuming that anyon who signs their dc up for outside activities is tossing family time out the window and dooming their dc for life. ;)

 

But I don't think it is necessary for every child to be in a lot of activities. I think if you hve them in a book club and church activities, that is enough to teach them group participation skills over the years. When mine were the ages of yours, we did most everything as a family - day trips to zoos and parks, etc. - and it was a great foundation. :001_smile:

[Medieval Mom]

My dc are still young; we are a one car family. Our dc do not participate in any outside classes, sports, etc. Isn't this rather a modern phenomenon?

 

I'm not against outside classes, sports, etc., and we have done them in the past, but I found the detracted more than added to our quality of life at the time. That said, I do keep my eyes and ears out for opportunities the boys might enjoy. But I'm not willing to pay the very high fees that often accompany such outings. For us, it's not worth it.

 

I wonder if participation in such extracurriculars will decline in the current economy?

 

Just rambling...

[Daisy]

We are not involved in any PAID activities. Our kids go to Awana club. We are involved in our local church's activities and our local homeschool park day and field trips. Oh, and we'll do one day events like a drawing class at the zoo or something like that if a child is interested.

 

We don't have the money for all those lessons and extra stuff, and honestly it isn't a priority with our family. We've tried soccer and my daughter had a year of piano. No one was really interested in continuing it.

[JustGin]

Well, when my kids were the ages of yours we didn't do organized sports or classes. Mostly because their lives were so full already. We swam, hiked, camped in season, took family trips, went to the library every week, attended a local story time, went to some kid friendly theater productions, participated in informal park days with our homeschool friends, and so on. They got to take a month of homeschool group ice skating lessons so they could get the basics down, and both of my girls did a year of ballet when they were little, just for fun.

The picture has changed as they've gotten older and their interests, skills and passions have expanded. Music has always been a huge part of our lives, and was a required part of school, so I don't count that as an outside thing. Dd #1 took 9 years of piano, and one of cello. She paid for the cello lessons herself. Dd#2 took 6 years of piano, 2 years of flute and is now in the middle school orchestra, Ds took 2 years of piano, 2 years of drums, and has recently returned to the piano with lessons and is simply astounding us.

All three had/have a love for drama as do I, so we are involved in that in various ways including the kids being involved in a homeschool theater class for 4 years.

Mostly we have let their interest lead, but also we've found ways to keep it cheap and simple. What sports we've done have been through parks & rec or the local school and we've never allowed more than one sport or short term class (9 weeks max) at a time between the three. So if ds was playing basketball, no other classes or sports until that was over. This helped me not go crazy and was budget friendly.

Like I said though, it's only been since my youngest was 8 or 9 that we have added anything besides music lessons to our family activities. So I think a lot of times you have to consider the season of life your family is in.

Young kids, not much if any extras needed, older kids a bit more, teens even more. :)

[jenniferlee]

No, we don't do any classes or outside activities. My oldest is just 13 and my youngest is 4.5

Just haven't had the time, money or inclination to be honest.

We are looking at some music lessons for the older two starting next year.

 

Jen

[NanceXToo]

Mine do a decent amount, but nothing I've found ridiculously expensive or time consuming.

 

Like, my daughter goes to Girl Scouts- it's only once a week, with very occasional extra activities (like a yearly winter fun day, a yearly fall hike etc). We do the Girl Scout cookie fundraisers but no others; we don't do the summer camp. It's for an hour and a half a week, after dinner. It's only over the school year. She's in like her fourth year of it. I think the registration is $12.00 a year and then $1.00 dues a week.

 

My daughter also goes to Judo but it's at the Y and we have qualified for a family discount there, I only pay $7.50 a month for it (plus the cost of her uniform). It's on a Saturday morning for an hour, hubby and my son spend time together, and I bring Alexa (and I work out at the gym there while she does her class). She's been going for like 6 weeks now, and she loves it.

 

She does a book club at the library, which is free, and is only held every few weeks (like every three weeks). It's for an hour or so, before dinner- none of this affects us having dinner together as a family or anything.

 

The kids both do a winter/spring homeschool bowling league once a week, which only runs for 10 weeks and isn't very expensive. Hubby's at work when they go, it's during the day, and I just take them.

 

In the spring, I'm going to sign my 5 y/o son up for teeball. I just have to pay the $30 registration fee and buy him a glove. Everything else is provided (shared equipment and they provide a cap and shirt and he can wear jeans if I don't want to buy pants).

 

I don't think there's anything wrong with NOT doing organized activities and just doing your thing as a family if that's what works for you. But I also don't think there's anything wrong with enjoying diverse organized activities...actually, I never had the chance to do ANY of those things growing up, I was never put in any scout groups or classes or sports or music lessons or anything...and I wish I would have had some of those opportunities. I like being able to provide my kids with the means and the opportunity to try so many different things.

[JessReplanted]

We did not do any 'extras' this school year. I also feel like I need to protect my time, and we don't have much extra money. But, my son needed an outlet - we just got him signed up for swimming (3 days a week) and he's having a blast!

[mom4him]

We go to church Sunday Morning and Wed. evening. My kids play with the neighborhood kids when ever weather permits, we too have our meals together.

We do NOT have the $$ it takes for the extras, the time nor do I have the energy. A yr ago I had them in a self defence class that was paid for by my doing sewing for the lady but that came to a halt when the leaders were demanding that the kids be in the neighboring town for activities that we could not participate in. I am sorry but when I as the mother tell you that it is not something that they will be able to do I don't want a big sad face with how I am denying them this wonderful experience!

We have a trampoline with surround that is up all fall,winter,spring and a swimming pool that is up all summer. They have friends play on/in both, they bike/scooter/skateboard.........We go to the library at least every other week and they haul 15-20 book home each. I just don't think they are abused because we are not spending $$ that we do not have to go places we do not want them to go.

Rant over!:lol::lol::lol::lol:

[mrsrevmeg]

Our kids do not do any classes or anything. We go lots of places as a family and sometimes get together with other homeschool families for field trips, but not any classes or sports on a regular basis. I have often thought about sports, but the rednecks who are over youth leagues suck all the fun of it. My kids will not talked to like they are sub-human or cursed at for not performing like the coach (or some guy on the sideline) expects.

[JFSinIL]

Nope. Of my four, only ONE kid did a sport - her idea. Now she is a black belt :-)

[Pretty in Pink]

We have really cut back our extracurriculars this year. Right now we have a family membership at the local tae kwon do studio which is 75.00/mo. We can participate in two classes per week for this price. Right now only the three older boys participate but I feel like it's a good price and they have friends who also participate.

 

They do AWANA on Friday nights, which costs us 0.50 per week, per child to participate, plus the cost of a workbook when they finish the one they are on (~9.00 per book).

 

DS12 plays in a concert band and that costs 6.00 per week. I think I spend more in gas driving him to and from practice than I do on the lessons themselves.

 

None of these activities cut into our family time, which is important to us. We tried Scouts but it just felt like too much at this time.

[Ginevra]

:seeya: elizabeth rose!

 

 

I just wanted to add, we do plenty as a family. We have an aquarium membership, we go to D.C. to the museums frequently, we swim at the Y weekly. We DO stuff, just not organized stuff. So my kids are not going to be pianists or ballerinas or baseball players, but we have a sit down dinner together every single night.

 

You do great stuff! Much better than my scared-to-death-of-DC self! I'd take that over soccer any weekend.

[Ravin]

My DD is in a weekly enrichment program run by a local public school district. If it wasn't free or had parent volunteer time requirements or anything like that we wouldn't be participating. She has done city rec classes in the past, but hasn't since a run of tennis at the beginning of the fall--of which she missed one class because of rain and another because of being sick. I expect we'll get her into swim lessons again in late spring, but that's it.

 

She does participate in SCA youth combat and events with me, but we can't often make it to fighter practice because gas is so $$$ and it's hard to manage when I have to work overnights right after. We get more schoolwork done when we don't get too involved in outside activities.

[Dawn in OH]

We are not currently doing any outside classes or sports.

 

The group we were doing classes with got just a little too weird for me.

 

My kids really aren't interested in any sports other than archery and fencing. The archery is off season and the fencing is too expensive for us right now.

 

Not to mention, life has been hectic with the new baby. We will participate in things again later.

[Pam Wilhelm]

We don't do anything.....we tried Cub Scouts but were "shunned" when they found out we were Christian Scientists. So now the boy is a Lone Wolf Scout and the girls are Juliette Girl Scouts. We only do stuff when we want to....no pressure.

 

I've never wanted to be the "Soccer Mom".......... and so I'm not. We do picnics, museums, parks, camping, hiking, church, etc........... it's enough.

 

As a child, I never did anything organized...well, I did do Brownies but was kicked out.... long story. :D When I finally did find something that I wanted to do I earned my own money for it and only counted on my folks to provide transportation. I'm sure when my kids find something that they just have to try that we will do what we can to assist them...without breaking the bank or disrupting our family.

[elizabeth rose]

:seeya: elizabeth rose!

 

 

 

 

You do great stuff! Much better than my scared-to-death-of-DC self! I'd take that over soccer any weekend.

 

Hi Quill,thanks for chiming in. I never went to D.C. either untill a year or so ago, it's so simple really but intimidating at first. EVERY single time, we have parked exactly out front of the museum we are visiting. Every single time! It's easier than Baltimore parking. Unbelievable.

[twacademy2010]

We dont. Ive asked KK several times if she is interested in trying anything. She finally mentioned piano lessons but we just dont have the $ right now.

[alpidarkomama]

None here! :) Instead, we go on lots of adventures. We had 3 in t-ball a year ago, but didn't like those dinnertime practices AT ALL. And real games? For 4-year-olds???? :eek: Ugh.

 

I'm starting a music class for DD7 and her 7-10 year old friends. Next year I'll start a 1st/2nd grade music class for DS5 and friends. Maybe a preschool class for the others... I also might do an astronomy class later this winter. We'll see! I just charge for materials, and everyone wins.

[Splash]

When the kids were little we didn't do anything. Oldest ds started violin lessons at 7 1/2 and that was all we did for awhile. As they got older and had interests develop we've added activities and classes. I think this year we may have more than I'm happy with but this can be adjusted. We do eat dinner together every night though, just later than we did when they were all small. Making dinner mess more than once, not an option. Some of my kids enjoy being very active, others prefer a slower pace.

 

Each family has to choose what works best for their family and particular child at each phase of life.

[Verity]

No outside stuff at this time other than kid's church on Sunday morning. I had the older two boys in martial arts for a while but I had to force them to go. Eventually it didn't seem worth it. Expense is a big issue for us as well, we are working at getting out of debt. I don't want $$ to be a reason to not to involved but then there is also a lack of interest.

I'm teaching my boys music, we go to the library weekly, eat dinner together every night, weekly church, have grandparents for Sunday dinner most weeks.

Honestly, homeschooling, park/library/church and social skills groups for my aspie are pretty much my limit these days. If one of the younger boys expresses a strong interest in something in the future I will give it a try - I just hate having to pay for stuff that I don't want to drive to/wait at and force the kids to go. It's lose/lose.

[gingersmom]

We eat dinner together 7 nights/week and my kids do classes outside the home.

 

My daughter ice skating practice is 3 days/week and my son does art class once a week, nature class once a week.

 

They are both on a Saturday morning bowling league.

 

We also belong to a local Y where my daughter and I exercise together and we all participate in family swims.

[Ellie]

We didn't do any outside academic classes, co-ops, etc. My dds did do ballet for a year, and Scottish highland dance (9 years) and 4-H, but those were not specifically for homeschoolers, so their hours were in the afternoon, long after we had finished any of our Official School Stuff. They also did soccer twice, but the every-weekend games killed us.

 

I would not have participated in activities that were scheduled during the day--no homeschool sports, dance, gymnastics, anything. Theoretically, we can teach our dc any time of the day, but practically, trying to get out of the house in the morning to do some activity killed the rest of the day.

[Danestress]

Sports pretty much run our lives right now, but I don't think our boys did any sports at all until they were 7 or 8. Maybe they did their first soccer league at 7? I can't remember exactly. Maybe even six - but it was a very low-commitment type of soccer thing.

 

But I think when children are young, it's nice to have a lot of free time.

 

My boys started violin at 5, but that did not really disrupt family meals or cause any real stress. I led them through violin practice daily, and it was work, but just part of school.

 

Now, at 13 years old, my boys are very invested in their sports, and we spend a LOT of time and money on them. But that is something that they pushed for - not me. If my kids were not interested in sports, we would not do them.

 

I will say that sports have been very good for out family. Yes. We miss some family dinners. And yes, we are busy. But DH and I each take each boy on a sports related trip several times a year. One is a swimmer, the other a tennis player. I really treasure those weekends where I have boy and DH has the other boy. Sometimes he is the traveling parent, sometimes I am. But it's so special to check into a hotel with your son, take him out for dinner alone, cheer him through a swim meet or tennis tournament, sooth him when he loses, high five when he wins. I can't tell you how much fun it has been. I feel like it has built a lot of great memories and closeness. And the non-traveling parent and child also take advantage of that time together. So while we have given up something, we also have really special memories.

 

I was never as good at anything my whole childhood as my boys are at their sports (and their violins, honestly, though they don't really cherish those lessons and that is more my requirement as part of school). I think they are the type of kids who want to feel accomplishment. There are other valid ways to be. I didn't like competition as a child and was more interested in reading and "down time." I think that's fine. You just have to know your child and try to meet that child's needs more than your own need. I would love more "down time" now - more nights home, less driving to practices. But I am doing this because it is important to them. They have pushed me to do what I wouldn't have planned on doing, but it's been a good ride.

[CoastalGal]

You're not alone. ;)

 

We don't do any ORGANIZED sports, activities, lessons or clubs. We don't do "playdates" or anything of the sort. (We do have other families over for meals & go to other homes as a family.)

 

We do things together as a family -- museums, libraries, field trips, etc. We have family game nights, movie nights, etc. and my children are happy and well-adjusted individuals.

 

We sit down together for meals and attend church functions as a family.

[Prairie~Phlox]

We don't do outside paid classes, we are in a co-op that meets twice a month and attend that (in the morning) We are in 4-H and it meets once a month and then Wednesday evening Bible Study with our church, we all attend and Sunday a.m. worship. all attend. I just don't want to do a bunch of running, I;m already and gone m-f from 2:30 or 3:30-6 every day. DD gets dinner going and it's ready when I get home.

[mama2cntrykids]

I wanted to chime in here. I think when children are younger (under 8-10), it IS important to have a lot of free time. Time to just explore the world around them. Activities aren't a BAD thing at all, it's a matter of what and how much, in my opinion.

 

That said...All of my kids currently go to Church on Sundays (s.s. and worship)/Wednesdays(kids club for younger, youth group for teen step son). Free.

 

The hs'ed kids participate in co-op once/week (they also get free time to play with their friends during this time). Free.

 

My oldest ds (10) plays on the hs basketball team and just started taking piano (only a half hour/week). $15 to cover renting practice space for basketball. Piano is $6/lesson (another hs mom and friend does this very inexpensively because she just likes doing it lol).

 

We go to the library every week and bring tons of books home (and a couple of videos). Free.

 

We participate in any hs group activities throughout the year that interest us. Usually free, depending on the activity.

 

In the summer we go swimming and to the park regularly. I just wish we had more and better parks in this area...they kind of sXck (sorry, but we moved from an area with really nice playgrounds...I haven't found a really nice one here yet). Free.

 

Plus, the kids have friends over or they go to friends' houses occasionally. Free.

 

For us, the above is PLENTY. In fact, at times, it seems crazy lol. I just realized that we do a lot for very little money. Well, we have to pay for gas because we live in the boonies and most places are a drive.

 

I've thought about adding Scouts to this, but I think that would put me over the edge!!

Edited January 17, 2011 by mama2cntrykids

[ocelotmom]

Right now, DS only does Cub Scouts, and we'll hopefully have regular park days now that the weather is improving if I can get a reliable local group together.

 

This is mostly because of money, but we wouldn't be doing a whole lot more if money was not an issue. Probably a martial arts class or some other form of physical activity, and more frequent one-time events with our semi-local homeschooling group, but I can't see much beyond that at this point.

 

I do want to get the older two doing swimming lessons very soon, money or not, because the irrigation canals that surround our house are going to scare me to death until they're better swimmers (of course, they'll probably realistically be at greater risk when they can swim better and they become an attractive nuisance, but swimming lessons still seem a better option than encouraging ignorance for safety).

[KidsHappen]

My kids are not currently involved in any outside activities but Volleyball season is about to start up again. The 14 year old plays and is hoping to get a scholarship so we work really hard to make sure she can do this. The younger would like to start art lessons. She is very good at this and is hoping to go into some sort of art career so we will probably try to get her started in something soon. They both play piano and do quite a bit of playing and practicing and would like to get lessons to further develope their skills but this one will probably have to wait as we can't really afford anything else right now.

[AlmiraGulch]

I have another two that aren't doing organized activities.

 

My oldest (now 14) did soccer for a year when she was 3 or 4, was in Brownies for a year or two, did Tae kwon do for about a year when she was 8 or 9, and that's about it. Oh, and the preschool ballet. She's now going to a homeschool arts enrichment program once a week that's pretty pricey.

 

My little did preschool ballet and that's all. She'd like to start Girl Scouts next year and I'm going to see if I can work that out for her.

 

Both girls begin Tae kwon do this week, actually, at the local community center. It's only $150 per girl for 5 months, twice a week, and both are in class at the same time. We're only doing it because both have been asking for quite some time.

 

I often feel guilty about it until I remember I didn't do outside activities as a child either (except scouts, and then LOTS of music stuff in high school) and I was fine. In fact, I never wanted to. My girls don't either, and that's fine with me. I don't have time (full-time working, traveling mom), or money (full-time working SINGLE mom), or the inclination to be the mother in the car all the time.