bry's-gal Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Hope I get this right- I know you ladies can help out! I have a problem with TeA! Due to BC, things are a bit short on water. Hubby is very opposed to more kids and will not even come near me (not even for a kiss) if I'm not on BC so I can't change that at the moment. Any ideas on how to make TeA more enjoyable when you have not water to brew the leaves in? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gratia271 Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 This is recommended by Ann Louise Gittleman (Fat Flush plan author) ETA: It is cheaper here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jplain Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 You might consider personal lubricants. KY and/or Astroglide are both readily available at drugstores. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LidiyaDawn Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Hubby is very opposed to more kids and will not even come near me (not even for a kiss) if I'm not on BC so I can't change that at the moment. a)if you're serious - he's being ridiculous. b)if he's that opposed to more children and the BC pills are making things miserable for you' date=' then why doesn't [b']HE[/b] take care of things? he can go get snipped, or he can wear a condom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 a)if you're serious - he's being ridiculous. b)if he's that opposed to more children and the BC pills are making things miserable for you, then why doesn't HE take care of things? he can go get snipped, or he can wear a condom. :iagree: Seriously! It might be time to sit down with him and have a discussion about these things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Have you tried a lubricant? There are many to choose from. Have you guys tried other forms of non-hormonal bc? Condoms, a diaphragm with spermacide? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 www.raxmedical.com/ladycomp.php It's supposedly more effective than BC pills... and there's one for "let's have another" and "let's not" ;) No hormones... :) And... I don't know... wish guys could take pills... they'd change their minds.... I wouldn't do anything that messed with my body.... and... I wish I wouldn't have said ok to "no more kids"... :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 a)if you're serious - he's being ridiculous. b)if he's that opposed to more children and the BC pills are making things miserable for you, then why doesn't HE take care of things? he can go get snipped, or he can wear a condom. I have to agree. Why does birth control have to be completely up to you? It takes two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 www.raxmedical.com/ladycomp.php It's supposedly more effective than BC pills... and there's one for "let's have another" and "let's not" ;) No hormones... :) And... I don't know... wish guys could take pills... they'd change their minds.... I wouldn't do anything that messed with my body.... and... I wish I wouldn't have said ok to "no more kids"... :( Me too on both counts. I deeply regret taking the BC pill for 12-14 straight years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bry's-gal Posted January 14, 2011 Author Share Posted January 14, 2011 We do use lubricants and they help for a few moments but not for long enough. I'm slowly working on him about getting the snip but I'm also realistic. I do know that my mood swings are a lot less severe when I'm the pill so even if he does get snipped, I could still end up back on the pill to handle the mood swings. I'll go check out the link that was posted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindyD Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 He needs to look at taking care of this himself. The big V is not a big deal and it's an easy recovery. My dh did this in February, before that I'd been pregnant or on some form of BC for the last 9 years. I had NO IDEA how much it affected me until I was done. Dh and I are both amazed at the difference it's made in me. If he's that set on no more kids, he should take the initiative. As my dh said "You had the kids, the least I can do is this." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jplain Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 if he's that opposed to more children and the BC pills are making things miserable for you, then why doesn't HE take care of things? he can go get snipped, or he can wear a condom. Very good point. My DH got a vasectomy. It was a simple in-office procedure which our insurance covered. Recovery wasn't bad, though he did have to plan to stay still for a couple days (lazing on the couch with an ice pack). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 I know how you feel about BC. I have been on BC for as long as we have been married (25 years) except for the two years I was off to get pregnant. I know the pill has decreased my desire. But when I was off the pill, I had miserable cycles every 21 days. One full week of heavy cycle, severe headaches, mood swings, two weeks off. Sometimes I wouldn't even get two full weeks off. I had more desire but not much time to fulfill it! Hubby had a V and just got tested as OK to go. I am finishing my current pack of pills and will not resume...but I'm afriad! I don't want to go back to those miserable cycles.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich with Kids Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Coconut Oil!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Even if your dh does get the V (which is not a big deal according to my dh), you may still want to look into some lubrication. Even without being on the pill, you sometimes need it as you get older. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn in OH Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Have you considered a non-hormonal form of BC? I don't function well on the kinds containing hormones. I currently have a copper IUD and have no problems of any kind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolphin Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 I got my dh to do the big V. It helped that he had seen me go through t c-sections, one of which was a BIG emergence and it scared him. We decided that I had done my fair share after our dd was born. The clincher though was that after dh has the snip. He has to have a certain amount of cups of tea(while still using protection) To make sure everything is out. I told him that if he got the snip, all of those cups of tea would be his choice. He could pick and choose all of his favorites from the variety pack that we have. :lol: It was actually a fun 6 weeks and brought us a lot closer, and he remembers that time with fondness. Oh, and just because I am that type of person. I watched the procedure. I figure that he had seen me cut open, so it was only fair that I got to see a medical procedure. I saw one side, sat back down and told him that we were so not even. It is so not a big deal, I would be able to do it (not well) with an hours training. If you do a light pinch of the skin between your thumb and finger, that is how far in they go. The important thing is to make sure that the doctor does the shot slowly. I guess some doctors just do the shot quickly, and that stings, if it is slow, they barely feel it. Nicole Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 (edited) My thoughts: 1. He needs to get over his fears and kiss you already! Kissing doesn't cause pregnancy, buddy. Also, proper treatment of the kettle makes a better cup. ;) I find that teA brews best when the heat is turned on slowly throughout the day. This also helps ensure that there will be ample water when it is time for teA. At teA time, slow, um, pouring before steeping will also help conserve water. ETA: Or should that be slow steeping before pouring? :tongue_smilie: 2. I agree that a V is a good idea. I have a copper IUD, but I think Dh is psyching himself up for getting a V. When/if he gets it, I will keep the IUD until it expires. P.S. I find this whole teA thing incredibly amusing. I giggled while writing the above. I hope my meaning wasn't lost in translation. :tongue_smilie: Edited January 14, 2011 by Veritaserum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Stress could be causing a lowering of libido. As a matter of a fact, I would be really surprised if it was not. But the dry sounds like a hormonal issue. Doctors can prescribe a long laster moisterizer that can be applied daily or even weekly that will keep thing flowing there. Good idea to talk to you doctor anyhow. You can also by lubricants over the counter. You can make a habit of inserting them every night before going to bed so that you are always prepared for whatever may happen. Finally oral stimulation will definitely help with not only lubrication but may also help with libido. I personally would also cut back to about twice a week and then maybe on the other two nights do things for your hubby that will make it so that he doesn't even miss the tea and that he will probably appreciate so much that he won't be worried about the other. There are plenty of good books on the subject as well, many that you can get out of the library. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 The big V has changed our lives...for the good.;) Astroglide Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Some guys don't like a lot of kissing and stuff because it ...activates the launch sequence. And, they don't like it being activated unless there's going to be a blast off. Girls do well with simmering. Men like blast offs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Some guys don't like a lot of kissing and stuff because it ...activates the launch sequence. And, they don't like it being activated unless there's going to be a blast off. Girls do well with simmering. Men like blast offs. Are we drinking teA in space now? :lol: If the man wants the drinking of teA to be equally enjoyable for both parties, he needs to be willing to put in the effort of settting the table (even if the actual drinking might be delayed). :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenniferlee Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 coconut oil. much better than other lubricant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 . I do know that my mood swings are a lot less severe when I'm the pill so even if he does get snipped' date=' I could still end up back on the pill to handle the mood swings.[/quote'] Your hubby is not thinking very clearly if he wants to sabotage his own s3x life. And the pill may not be necessary for mood swings. Try a chiropractor. I'd bet money a regular adjustment would clear up those issues. I skipped an appointment a few months back and my dh who doesn't even believe in chiropractics told me not to do it again ;) Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmoe Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 coconut oil. I swear by it. non-greasy and last lots longer than ky or anything like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 www.raxmedical.com/ladycomp.php This thing is really expensive! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m0mmaBuck Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 Another vote for coconut oil! We've tried many other juices in our time and coconut is definitely the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatCyndiGirl Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 Egg whites work well, too. And....you can use the yolks to make some creme brulee! :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 This is recommended by Ann Louise Gittleman (Fat Flush plan author) ETA: It is cheaper here. You want to put *petrolatum* and *mineral oil* down there? Eewww. I would go with the coconut oil. So, so many factors going into brewing tea, and a lot are emotional/psychological . I am not myself so much into overcoming emotional factors with physical props, but YMMV, and it obivously works for many. My dh wouldnt come near me, either, after my 2nd child- when he knew for sure he didnt want any more, but also knew for sure he couldnt trust my "rhythm method" which had brought us 2 lovely kids. :lol::lol: I felt very rejected. I wont use hormonal based contraception- my system is already weird, and I dont want to use anything which might affect it even if the symptoms appear better- so I tried a cooper IUD. I hated how that thing made me feel, so that didn't last long. So dh went off for the snip, and although in his case there were rare complications (I just came across the phots we took of the aftermath- we took photos in case we decided to take the doctor to court....eeewwww) in the long run...it is such a relief not to have to worry about BC, ever. It is definitely a tea enhancer. However, be very clear you dont want any more kids. Other than that...for me the biggest turn on is really feeling connected through communication. When I feel heard, I open up. My dh and I both have fairly low libidos, but also, neither will be coerced into tea making unless 100% interested, which means, it doesn't thappen so often, but when it does, we are both 100% there for it. Dont presume there is something wrong with you just because you dont feel a lot- it is a chemistry between both of you and a partner needs to hav ea look to see how they can help, too, rather than making it your problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 Vaseline Are we drinking teA in space now? :lol: If the man wants the drinking of teA to be equally enjoyable for both parties, he needs to be willing to put in the effort of settting the table (even if the actual drinking might be delayed). :) That could help too :p (ironically apt smiley) Egg whites work well, too. And....you can use the yolks to make some creme brulee! :tongue_smilie: *snort* And win Betty Crocker's Wife of the Century. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LG Gone Wild Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 coconut oil? hmm, oddly this and red wine is on my list to reduce my cholesterol levels. Nice to have dual purpose items. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatCyndiGirl Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 coconut oil? hmm, oddly this and red wine is on my list to reduce my cholesterol levels. Nice to have dual purpose items. And the next time you see your Dr and he/she asks about your use of the coconut oil you can ask, "So, was it to be administered orally or otherwise?" :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 Ummm-have you told him that not all kinds of teA cause pregnancy?? Please, for both your sakes, let your imagination run wild. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anabelneri Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 coconut oil? hmm, oddly this and red wine is on my list to reduce my cholesterol levels. Nice to have dual purpose items. Oooh, this should go on that minimalist thread, then! Woot! A couple more ideas... 1) Increasing Vitamin A has been shown to increase the water for tea. Some ladies find that eating carrots regularly can really get the water flowing. 2) Some women find that if they put something in their teapot ahead of time (something like these) their pot will begin producing water ahead of time. 3) Sometimes letting him sip directly from the pot at the beginning of teatime (not to drink the whole cup, unless that works for you) can increase liquid. 4) The place at the link above also sells bottled water for tea. Many like the water-based bottled water, but everyone has their own preferences. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 Maca - an herbal supplement is supposed to have a positive effect as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 And the next time you see your Dr and he/she asks about your use of the coconut oil you can ask, "So, was it to be administered orally or otherwise?" :lol: :smilielol5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 Coconut Oil!!! :iagree:It lasts. Also, I'm sensitive to any kind of lubricant, so can't use it unless I want pain. Coconut oil is a miracle! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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